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About The news-herald. (Plattsmouth, Neb.) 1909-1911 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 19, 1909)
is Cutest Trick
By EDGAR WHITE
S II TTV W W
P BO P L-E-
J .... .' . p
1 LJ II K autograph
eljfW just now than
t&r the mere col-
lectins of or
dlnary signatures of ex
traordinary folk, and the
newest thing In this
hohhy necessitates the
possession of a "ghost
bonk" to hold the slgnn
tnres which portray the
"ghosts" of the eminent
These llitlo hooks are becoming very popular
both In London and In New York. , They have
an advantage over the ordinary autograph album,
bocnuso the collecting of signatures has been bo
overdone that many of the "great ones" havo
Lad rubber facsimiles made of their very best
autographs-not the Hnd that appears on their
cheeks and Instead of taking time to respond
whenever a stamped and addressed envelope la
Inclosed, all they do Is to pass the letter, request
and envelope over to their secretary or perhaps
it never gets beyond the secretary at all and the auto
graph is stamped on in such a manner that It serves
tho peipose well and saves Mr. Author, Mr. Actor or
Mr. Singer a lot of time and trouble.
Hut h request for a namo In one's ghost book has a
certain novelty about It and there Is, too, considerable
curiosity to see just what tort of a ghost one's name
will make, so that nearly everyone will take the trouble
to picture hi ghost for you.
In making the collection for a ghost book, partially
reproduced here, many well-known men and women
were asked for ghosts. President and Mrs. Taft were
Immensely amused at the Idea and both took the keen
est Interest In seeing how their
ghost; would turn out. The big
statesman adjusted bis glasses, fold
ed with tho utmost precision the
paper on which he wns to Inscribe
bis ghost, looked around fof a stub
pen, which, unfortunately, ho could
not find on his desk in the Hot
Springs bungalow mid then be
wroo his namo and hnstlly folded
back the paper.
"Cannot say that for such a big
man as I am in the flesh my ghost
cuts such a wide swath," ho laugh
ingly remarked as ho held the pa
per up for Mrs. Taft to view. "Hut
nnyhow, tho smaller fine's ghost the
better perhaps," he added.
".Mrs. Taft was more pleased
with her ghost than she was with
that of her husband. "You are more
important just now,, but my ghost
is a far more artistic creature than
yours and really more splrltuelle,"
It will bo no
ticed that a part
of Mrs. Taft's
ghost bears a re
blance to a Ma
Miss Mary Car
den practiced sev
eral times on her
ghost before she
would allow the
final one to ap
pear in the writ
er's pliost book.
"Ghosts, liko ev
erything else, Im
prove by practice,
and I look upon
my final ghost as
a worthy effort,"
laughed Miss Gar
den. 'In fact, I
see the urn above
from which my
spook must havo
hopped out," she
said, ami 8 u r e
enough. If one v.m look at the prima donna's
ghost it will be found quite true.
MISS deraldlne Farnir wn rni hnnto.l
Just flnUhtd a brilliant first season in America,
said that sho could see In her ghost the shades
of the late empress dowager of china. That fancy
may have occurred to her because when she
made her ghost the news of the disith of the
Chinese empress had just been received.
Ceorge Hernard Shaw hasn't time for ghosts
or Interviews or writer folk at nil, he says, yet
this most Inconsistent of men generally gives
his Interview and sees tho writer person, and
hero we have his ghost. Mr. Shaw generally
makes it as uncomfortable as possible for tho
Interviewer before allowing him to be admitted,
but utter that the genial blue-eyed Irishman is
irresistible and one readily forgives him any
thing that has seemed rude. The writer sent a
note asking for an interview with Mr. Shaw in
his chambers just off the Embankment in Lon
don last summer and in response Mr. Shaw char
My Dear Miss : I will havo ten minutes'
rest tomorrow some time between li and 12:30.
If you catch me during the ten minutes 1 will
see you. If you stay longer I will throw you out
of the window. GEORGE H. S.
Tho writer went at a quarter to twelve und
Mr. Shaw talked and talked and talked until
I A or uff. Gqoo
person will often show
an apparent wide differ
ence In conformation,
owing to tho shape of the
pen, tho (low of the ink
and tho amount of pres
sure used, a more careful
scrutiny will make it
clear that the chief char
acteristics hold through
out. The ghost is true to
Who, then, will inter
pret and reveal the true
meaning of our ghost au
tographs? Here is a new
Held for investigation and ainusemeut.
With tho advent of the ghost book we have a
new twist to an old, old fad. Travelers in central
Europe as early as the fourteenth century used
to carry their "Hook of Friends," nn octavo vol
ume in which names and sentiments were in
scribed. On their return home they could show
an interesting record of tho famous personages
they had nut. These are tho first autograph al
bums of which we hear, but the passion for col
lecting manuscripts and autographs is as old as
the history of cultured society and is not without its
romantic side. One of the Ptolemies once paid the starv
ing Athenians in wheat for the privilege of copying some
treasured manuscripts of tho Immortal Greek dramatists.
Tho wretch kept tho originals and returned the copies.
If It had been tho ghost signatures of Euripides and
Sophocles t hat the unscrupulous ruler was after he would
not have found. It easy to perpetrate so heartless a trick.
MONEY THAT GOES ABROAD
Europe Is n lovely place; the grave of Shakespeare is
a noble eight and It's worth money to see the hillsides
that produce the wine that made tho Rhine famous. Hut
this year it was llroadway, Hath
Hooch, Kokomo or Kalamazoo for a
large number of worthy American
citizens whose custom It has been to
spend tho sultry months across the
It's tho old story of Halaklava over
again only worse. Some millions
have blundered. Times are twisted
up la a hard knot and we are just
beginning to get the kinks out. No
body knows what is going to be the
outcome of the new tariff law. The
indications are good for a poor wheat
crop. Panama hats and overcoats
are selling side by side in the open
In short, there is no time like the
present for staying at home and at
tending to business. In these crucial
circuinstnmes 200,000 persons have
consented to make the sacrifice. At
are the present indl-
her ghost, which she said looked like a veritable
butterfly. "How splendid to be so picturesque a
ghost!" Miss Farrar commented.
Miss Emma ('. Thurshy has one of the most
remarkable ghosts of all, and for beauty and
symmetry it is quite as pleasing as a wrought
iron work design or a Japanese brass caudle
stick. "I prefer to think of It as something that
was designed by tho shades of some Japanese
artist, which Idea I absorbed when I visited some
of the great temples in Japan," said MissThursby.
Lady Warwick says she doesn't believe in
ghosts at all, but she was very much Impressed
by the appearance of her titled namo when her
ghost became a reality. "I think 1 shall design
a book plate out of It. That wouldn't bo a bad
idea, would It?" the countess added as she
viewed the strong, bold writing that foiled her
Lady Cosmo Duff (lordon was enchanted with
her ghoHt and ghost-collecting 1ms become such
a fad with her that she has purchased a dozen
of the llttlo volumes for her friends. "I put my
ghost in each one and I suppose I must be a
woman of a number of selves or else there are
a number of warring; ghosts in my ancestry, for
each one of my signatures produced a ghost so
totally different from the others that one would
scarcely believe that they came from the same
name and handwriting. Hut I urn rather pleased
with the idea, for what Is more prosaic than lark
of variety? I have made my fortune by original
and diverse designs In the making of frocks,"
said the titled dressmaker, "so why shouldn't
my ghost signatures portray that characteristic?"
When Mrs. Elinor Glyn, author of "Three
Weeks," had made her ghost she thought that
It bore some resemblance to ft tiger and eagerly
pointed out its claws. "The tiger Js essentially
one of my transmigrations, or shall I fay mani
festations?" remarked Mrs. Glyn. "Hence my
tiger ghost. Paul would be pleased with tht,
Wouldn't he?" she added with a smile.
Emmy Host Inn, the gifted Hohemlsn rma
donna of the Royal opera hou Perlin, who hsi
nearly one o'clock and not a word was said about
the window or tho playwright's strong right arm!
For a man of his brusque threats Mr. Shaw
has a very mild and diminutive-looking ghost.
Hnllie Ermlnle Rives has a ghost that might
be of Oriental origin, for It resembles an antique
and clnborately carved vase of Chinese design
more than anything else. "Perhaps It is meant
for the urn that contains my shades," the novel
ist laughingly remarked.
Of course one may Just care to have the
ghosts of one's friends and not particularly those
of people celebrated in the art, literary or politi
cal worlds, and then it will be a simple matter
to fill up one's ghost book, for the making of
ghosts will be found to be quite a novelty at a
tea or other social affair, and taken along with
one's hand luggage on an ocean voyage a ghost
book will prove a source of endless amuse
ment, while it will in ska a lasting souvenir of
the trip. The ghost book Itself is a small affair
that can be gotten in the pocket of an overcoat
or can be carried easily in a muff or big hand
bag, so that one can always take it along with
out any trouble.
When you ask for a ghost signature you prepare
the page for the writing by folding it and the
person whose ghost you are after writes directly
on the line of the fold. A stub pen which holds
n large amount of ink Is best for this purpose,
as the size and mystery of the ghost depend
largely upon the Ink. After the name Is written
the page is folded together again without blot
ting and lo, the ghost appears. Try it and see!
It Is not necessary to have a book. One can
have the signatures written on separate sheets
of paper and collect them, but rare must be
taken to use soft psper that will absorb the Ink
readily. Theie separate sheets can then be
pasttd Into a scrap-book, but the little ghost
book Itself will bt found more convenient. At
the top of a page in. the ghost book is a small
dotted line for the data and below appears
another Hot for tha writing of ths name after
the (host is made, so that after all in a ghost
book one gets a genuine autograph as well as
the spook signature.
Vhil rsl ghest siruaturea f the same
something to tho
rest of the coun
try. Paying to see
Europe is our an
upon millions are
taken out of our
tion. We work
hard during tho
winter, either at
earning money or
at getting It from
those who havo
earned it, then
hustle across the
water to fatten up
the Swiss guides
and the hotel
keepers. That is,
about 1,200,000 of
us do. The other
7S.800.000 do their
traveling in their
sleep, so they can
be back next
morning In time
The rich American going abroad counts only
one on the pa.sseuger list, but he must bo carefully
considered In any estimate.
He spreads out the chart upon his desk. An
exceedingly anxious-to-please agent of tho steam
ship company is nt his side. Here is something
up near the bow the.t is Just right so the steam
ship man says. "Not for a minute," says the man
who has the last say. It Is too far up In front.
Tho motion of the boat would put him out of busi
ness the first day. What else?
Oh, nn exquisite suite amidships. It's great
The Countess de Spltzbergen never takes any
thing else when she is going to or coming from
America. Hcautlful parlor, mahogany finish. Hod
room In Ivory. Bathroom in baby blue. Maid's
quarters. And the rate for two adults and one
servant Is only $1,700.
Will the gentleman take it?
Indeed be will not. The Countess of Spltzber
gen may travel In the hold if sho likes, but no
baby blue or mahogany can lure him to n point
over the engines. Why, didn't he come over once
in a Fiiiie thus located? Pidn't the incessant
coughing, wheezing, trembling and sneezing of tho
machinery nearly drive him wild? Not a wink
of sleep from the time he went abroad until he
got home. Friends thought ho hnd been sick
when ho showed himself in the street..
Oh. very well. Here's an equally beautiful
suite far removed from the engines back toward
the stem. Occupants of those apartments often
call for the captain to ask what makes the boat
go, because they can hear no noise nor feci any
vibration. Highly recommended by tho best phy
sicians to nervous patients. Price, the snme.
Did any one ever hear of such stupidity? Here
our patient multi-millionaire hos explained In do
tail that he cannot travel nt the bow of a ship
because the motion is too great and the agent hns
shown him a suite near the stern. What's tho
difference between the bow and the stem, any.
way? Isn't each end balanced in the middle
where it will go up and down like tho end of a
walking-beam? Well.x a steamship man who
doesn't know any more than that can go back
home. Mr. Multi-Millionaire will travel by some
line that st least employs persons of intelligence
(Copyright, by Dally Story Pub. Co)
"Pretty Jim" was the nightingale at
the "Fatluia" moving-picture show.
He was a tall, slender youth, with a
cigarette pallor and curly hair that
gave him a stand-In with tho girls,
who gushed over his warbling and
Imagined they were kneeling at the
shrine of art.
Hut a sly dart of Cupid soon put
Jim out of the rurinfiig with the
"Flossie" crowd. Tho shot came from
close range, and didn't give him a
show to dodge. Little Hirdle Atherton
was the sweetest thing that ever wore
her golden curl-j, and she pounded the
piano to help out Jinimie's soul melo
dies. When these two kids found they
were In love with eacli other they
trapezed around town like a pair of
childreu, hand in hand, always in
sweet-scented clover fields. "Pretty
Jim" only sung for one pair of pearl
like ears, and two soft blue eyes
loaned him inspiration. His songs of
love were real, from the bottom of a
heart undergoing its first impalement.
Hirdle declared her "Jim" was tho
only person on earth who really un
derstood music right, and said If he
was to get run over by a street car
or kidnaped or anything like that she
would take cold poison the very next
minute after tho news came.
Hy and by tho keen-eyed manage
ment observed that the "Cleopatrla,"
a rival show, was eating into their
trade by the employment of a negro
who could stand on his woolly head
and drink soda pop simultaneously.
Following this distressing innovation
there blew into town a Dutchman
named Karl Wusurwester ' Winer
wurst," they called him who gave un
impromptu clog dance and imperson
ation at Sandy McPhenrson's "Crack-in-the-Wall."
The. boss of the "Fatiivia" chartered
tho Dutchman, and he went on the job
next night. The new performer
danced in a funny-looking pair of
wooden shoes, with heavy leather
soles extending several inches beyond
the bows. When he would come down
on the grand ttualo those wonderful
shoes would hit the stuge like the
concussion of a naval gun. Then he
had a comical Dutch talk that made
Inside a week the "Fatima" was
gathering nil the loose nickels in town,
and the negro over at the "Cleopatrla"
jumped into the river. There was no
The Dutchman Seemed in Fine Trim.
use bucking against a Dutchman with
as homely a mug as "Winerwurst"
carried about with him. The boss of
the "Fatima" patted himself on the
back, and bad a sign painted on the
front window illustrating "Winer
wurst's" grin. The artist said he
could havo made tho job more life
like if tho window had been wider.
The only person about tho place
who wasn't happy was "Pretty Jim."
Ills songs no longer brought cheers.
Tho frizzy-headed girls went over to
his rival with-the green cheese face,
and, worse than all; Hirdle tho dear,
Innocent, blue-eyed Hlrdie went with
'em. And "Wlnerwurst," noticing her
smiles, elongated his cavernous mouth
until she might have walked In had
she been curious to explore.
"Jlmmie" became sullen. He
pouted so that Hirdle refused to ac
cept his company homo one night, and
tho Dutchman, who was always 'round
when ho wasn't wanted, took lur un
der his wing, and Jim saw them go
down the avonue'chattlng and laugh
ing as If he wasn't on earth.
There was only one thing to do, and
It must bo done quickly and effective
ly. That was to humiliate that fool
Dutchman so badly that he'd never
show his ugly face around Hlrdlo
again. After duo deliberation, Jim
went down to the switch shanty and
took into his confidence Mike Fiui
gan, boss of tho steel gang. Mike had
the same respect for a Dutchman that
he had for a man who would choose
a domino game Instend of a nice,
healthy scrap with the dagoes over
nn the ball lot. IIo produced a couple
of dynamite signal caps, took off the
tins aud showed Jim how he could
slip 'em In between tho boiler decks
of Dutchy's wooden mcn o'-war. In
addition he promised to bring around
a lot of his "bahles" the night the
Dutchman was blown up, so as to
properly hiss him.
The plan looked good to Jlmmie.
In the afternoon he slipped in behind
the stage, found Karl's big shoes nnd
placed his caps near the toes, sticking
them tight with quick-drying paste.
Then he pulled his hat down over his
eyes and went out on the street. As
he passed the ice cream saloon he
saw "Wlnerwurst" and Hlrdlo regal
ing themselves, nnd apparently hav
ing a good time. He stepped in,
bought a package of cigarettes and.
as though he hadn't seen 'em before,
"Hello, Karl; wonder you ain't eat
ing limburger and sausage."
"Yah! Yah!" laughed Karl, good
humoredly. "I laks dot better, but
Hirdle here she laks Ice cream. Wo
must blease der ladies, you know."
And Hirdle smiled ns though he
had said something smart.
"You'll please 'em to-night, my fine
fallow," muttered "Pretty Jim" to
The "Fatima" was jammed tight as
wax when Karl, in his Dutch costume,
came out nnd bowed. Jlmmlo had
sung his love song to unresponsive
ears, and now he sat gloomily In the
shadow besido tho large upright pi
ano. When the Dutchman appeared
birdie's eyes brightened and she
handled the keys with sudden energy
lp in the balcony sat Mike Finigan
and about 20 of his grim vlsaged
steel handlers, ready to hoot aud
groan when tho Dutchman went up In
the air. Tho way Mike had figured
it, tho crowd would jeer him so bad
that he would quit tho Job, leaving
"Pretty Jim" alone in the field.
The Dutchman seemed in flna trim.
IIo had just enough beer aboard to
make him funny. The crowd laughed
at everything ho said, and cheered
each new wrinkle he shot across the
wide expanse of moon-map that
served him as a face. When he had
said all he could think of he began
on his clog dance. He pounded the
boards so hard without anything hap
pening that Jim began to think there
must bo some defect in the torpedoes
Dutchy turned hnnd-sprlngs, yah
yahed until you could see clear down
to his feet, and put his blue jeans
legs in motion for the grand round-up.
He seemed to be going under a tre
mendous head of steam and the big
crowd cheered and yelled. Then
Dutchy drew in his wind, closed the
big slit in his face and came down on
those two bifurcated flatboats like a
stone house. There was a crash like
the splintering of heavy timbers, fire
seemed to shoot out in all directions
nnd the performer was shot clear up
to the celling. The thing had the ef
fect of a grand transformation scene.
When Dutchy got back to earth ho was
in a sitting posture, entirely shoeless,
nnd a broad grin on his comical mug.
He w as the most surprised man in the
house, but he was quickly alive to tho
roaring ovation that wns being handed
him, and he rose slowly and bowed.
Then the spectators thundered again;
some roso In their seats, waving their
hats nnd howling like crazy people.
Dutchy bobbed his big head, and
grinned like a jack-o'-lantern, nnd
then limped oft the stage.
Jim, who was standing near Hirdle,
asked her what she thought of her
Dutchman by this time. She wheeled
ns If just aware of Jim's proximity,
and turned a beaming face upon him!
"Ain't ho a dear." she said, "to think
up such cuto tricks?"
New Kind of Fish Story.
"Just as charity covers a multitude
of sins," said Dr. Dudley s. Reynolds
"so the term 'cold' Includes about COO
different forms of Irritation of the mu
cous membrane. I really think that
'catching cold,' as ordinarily eonsld
'red, la a superstition which can
be fitly compared to tho belief that
tacking a horseshoe over the door will
keep witches out."
And then Dr. Reynolds told about
a fishing trip he took to Harrod's
Creek several years ago In tho win
ter time. Snow was on the ground
nnd frost in the air. The fish wero bit
ing good, and so when tho doctor fell
Into the creek and fished himself out
in a thorughly moist condition ho pro
ceeded calmly with his angling nj
though water weren't wet and wintry
nlr not cold. He finally missed his
train to town and had to walk hack
home, arriving with clothes frozen to
him, but with a string of bass that
did credit to himself as a disciple of
"I never felt any ill rffects rrom
that ducking." said he. "yPt according
to the usual beliefs I should have
'caught my death of cold, and been a
victim of pneumonia In tho next
twenty-rour hours'-Louisvllle Courier-Journal.
"James A. Patton." said the London
correspondent of a Chicago paper
"has stopped talking. Ho is as silent
now as a clam.
"I tempted him the other day with
delicious bait, but it was nil useless
Mr. Patten Just shook bis head and
" 'Not a word about wheat,' said he
'I'm determined not to talk nnd put
my footn it-like the country editor
who wound up mi cdltorlul on, the
corn crop with the words:
we nave on exhibition in our
sanctum a psir or magnificent ears."
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