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OVERLOOKED FOR THIS TIME.'
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Substantial Reasons Why Business
Firm "Stood For" Impertinence
from Employe.
The New York dry goods firm of
I'lumsteln & Rosenberg had a travel
ins; salesman named Richards. Rich
aids was a good salesman, anil when
sober a genial fellow. Onee, however,
after an unusually successful trip he
indulged in an unusually successful
celebration, and ended by going to
Bleep in the public office of the com
pany.
'(let up," sail Mr. Rosenberg,
kins him violently. '
"Rosey, no jump on yourself," said I
his sleepy employe. i
The senior partner tried It next and'
was rewarded with the words: !
'T.ltinistein, you go to thunder." 1
The firm held an Indignation meet- i
lug, decided to dispense with Rich j
aids' services, and asked th' liook i
keeper what they owed this erring
salesman.
"Fifteen hundred dollars," he report
ed. "Richards has sold Jc.o.mtO worth
of peods In the past three months."
The partners looked at each other in ,
silence. !
"Rosey," said the senior partner, ,
"you go chump on yourself. I'm go-!
Ing to thunder." Success Magazine.
Mr. Chamberlain z the But'er.
T!:e (oi.-iun ( !!ice staff ef the kind's
house seni'e nies.-en'.; 'i has J'l-t List
on.' of il ti'.em'it rs. to whose iih k
I'.aiae. "Sir .leseph." a sioiy belongs. It
ocrurred when Mr. Chamberlain vas
at the colonial office.
One night, or rather very early In
the morning, the tit senucr was sent
to Prince's (hird- ns with an important
"cabinet circulation." Mr. Chamberlain
was working late and had s-vit all his
servants to be 1. and the messenger had
t wait a long time before getting an
nr. iwer to his knock.
At last he gave a thundering rat tat
and pres ntly had the :.ati.;f.u'tion of
seeing some one whom he supposed l
he tile butler appear in answer to his
.1I, wearing a plain snicking jacket
mid smoking a clay pipe. "Oh," said
the messenger, "you have come at last,
have you? There's no hurry. It's only
a message from the pi line minister."
The "butler" smiled serenely, and the
messenger, then recognizing his man,
stammered out: "1 beg your pardon
Sir Joseph, I have a dispatch box for
you."
BY THE TELEPHONE
CHURCH SERVICE WAS BROUGHT
TO CONGREGATION.
Cut Off by Storm, Pas'or Found
Means of Providing Edification
For His Flock by Means
cf the Wire.
I Mammoth Embroidery Sale! I
by
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the parishioners
H!3 CALL A BUSINESS ONE.
In a Pearl Factory. !
Tho pale, bent workmen were, most
of them, drilling costly pearls, hut
here a man in kid gloves performed
the operation of skinning, the opera , lay il(,f0,. no nn(1 advertised for sale,
tion of removing a pearls outer, (lis i wi.(n tl. (iom.i,0ii jinsiod merrily.
Pcor Old Beggar Was Not on This
Particular Occasion Looki.-g
for Charity.
The prosperous wholesale grocery
dealer had sold out his business pre
paratory to departing for the west to
live. He was reflecting, the next
morning, on the prospect of getting a
good price for Ills house, which the
coloied coat so as to give it again its (
original luster, and by the window an
other man shook Industriously three
pearls in a bottle. j
"It is a secret of the trade, of the
pearl driller's trade," he said, "this
bottle-shaking. You see, in pearl drill
ing, a drill point often breaks off In a
pearl, and to got it out may take a
whole drvy's work that is, if you don't
know the secret."
He looked closely at the bottom of
the glass bottle, and then, continuing
his shaking, he resumed:
"Hut If you put your pearl In a bot
tle and shake it up, the drill point In
a few minutes will fall out of itself
Look! There's another out already.
The third'll come s:ion now."
Microbes in City and Country.
The microbes in city air are
times more than in eoun'ry air.
U
"Sir," said the maid, putting her
head In at the library door a moment
later, "It's the old beggar from the
corner near your store, sir."
"Old do, the beggar, eh?" rejoined I
the retired business man. faking from
his pocket a coin. "1 presume the j
wretched old fellow missed my ens- :
tnmary contiibution this morning audi
if come for it. Here, give him this
dollar." I
The maid went away with tho ;
money and again returned. '
"I pave the dollar, sir." said she,
"and he seemed very thankful for it; ;
but hn says he'd like to speak a mo-1
nient with you on bu -;in. ss, sir."
"What business can that old beg-!
s::r have with me?"
"He says thi.t If you can bring the
pice of this house down to $20,nni
. . . , i ..!.." ftirlnn'u
cisli. ne (i niiy i:, ! """n- -Library.
Besrd Heavier on Right Side.
A man's beard is generally ho;;v-
'ier on the right side.
Sultan Fond of Zoology.
The sultan of Turkey is the propri
etor of a fine zoological garden.
An entire church service
pholie. listened to by
within a radius of ten miles of the
parsonage. Is the brand-new idea in
Sunday worship worked out success
fully by a New Kngland pastor. Not
only was the sermon delivered over
the wire, but the violin music and
choir selections were also duly given.
Rev. Newell C. Maynard of Rom
fret. Vt.. is the clergyman whose
novel plan promises to rind many fol
lowers. In the town of Poiufret. among the
hiits of Vermont Sunday morning
broke with a midwinter blizzard.
Three feet of snow had already fallen
and the darkened sky gave no signs
of withholding the rest of Its hoary
burden.
"To me, as minister of the village
church, it was evident that this was
a good day for people to enjoy the
comforts of their own fireside. Hut
how to reach these people In such a
storm and give them the practical
benefits of a Sunday service in their
own homesthis was the question
which I set myself about to answer,
i "I had it! Almost every home with
I In a radius of ten miles had n tele
. phone. Why not preach over the
' wire? Accordingly I called up my
j deacons and made my propositions to
j them. They were so pleased with the
i noel Idea that they at once said:
"Go ahead!'
"I then called up central and nsked
permission to have the switch thrown
open on both lines. Next I called up
my violinist, Marvin Whipple, and re
quested him to be ready with a violin
solo, and finally asked Lester Clifford
to he prepared for two selections of
sacred music for the phonograph. I
gave the order of service to my violin
ist and phonograph operator, and
Ueacon A. P. Clifford called up the
parties on the line and requested all
who cared to listen to the service to
take down their receivers at 11
o'clock.
"When the hour arrived I took
down my receiver and calling the roll
of all the parties on the line, bid
simply:
"We will commence our morning
service with a selection by the male
quartet.' Then the phonograph placed
before the transmitter rendered Rock
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Piano Bargain
At Herolcf s Book and Stationary Store
A brand new?3S0.00 Cabinet Grand Piano for $280. Spot cash or bank
able paper vith payments adjusted to suit convenience. A leading western piano
manufacturer has consignel to us a ne.v piano, everything first class, note de
scription below. We offer it at MANUFACTURERS PRICES, savin? you the
usual agent's commission of $100.00. If you are in the market for a first class,
guaranteed for 10 years, instrument HERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TOJSAVE
$100. This will be the only piano offered on these terms.
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KKKKKKHKHK
PJETZOW CABINET GRAND PIANO. Perfect scale, drawn on most scienticfic principles;
latest patent repeating action, extra heavy felt hammers; exposed pin block; extra heavy three
quarter iron plate; very best German imported tuning pins and piano wire; patent muffler attach
ment with nickel plated muffler rail, best quality spruce in sounding- board; ivoryjlkeys. CASE
Verj artistic and double-veneered inside and out, with maple veneer on interior; oval Jpanel, with
ndsomest of carviugs. Warranted 10 years. Heipht. 4 ft 'j in; width 5 ft 2 3-S in; depth 2 ft 3 in
Herold s B
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By a most fortunate circum
stance we had an opportunity and
took advantage of it of getting a
large consignment of fine em
broidery at a mere fraction of its
real worth. This we placed on
sale Saturday and shall continue
until it is all closed out. We have
an exceptionally fine line of de
signs, the values ranging up to 35
cents, but as long as they last you
may have your choice at
10c and 15c
You never had such an oppor
tunity to secure such standard
goods at so low a price. Notice
the display in our east window.
, W. LARKIN & COMPANY.
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of A?rs" In clenr'inale voices. I then
read the Twenty-third Psalm. Next
followed Handel's 'Largo,' played he
fore the transmitter as a violin solo
"Having completed my brief ser
mon. 1 said: 'We will close our serv
ice with another selection by the mala
quartet.' Whereupon the service was
concluded by the slnginx of 'Nearer,
My God, to Thee.'"
Youthful Elopers
The youthful elopement In Dickens'
pretty story was duplicated
life tlie other day, when Jesse
aed four years, and Annlo Theresa
Unteifiishberger, aged three years
left their respective homes In Port
land, Ore., and wandered down town
hand In hand. Intent on getting mar
ried. The course of true love never
did run smooth, however, and the lit
tie romance was spoiled by Patrol
man Itiley, who met tho tots In the
heart of tho business district. The bn
was much abashed by the man In uni
form, but the girl lisped out their
plan to get married and visit a mov
Ing-plcture show. When taken to the
police station, where their frantic
parents were walling, there was a
sc ne. "No," screamed the little girl
breaking Into tenrs as her mother
started to take her away, "Annie wants
to slay and marry Jesse."
Collar Button Defender.
The collar button has been libeled
Since It first camn Into being It hat
provided the wrlieis of Jokes for thr
romlc papers with a large share ot
their material. That It possessed a
remarkable tendency toward losing It
self has been accepted almost as an
axiom.
Facts have come to light which
show that the collar button has been
maligned. A man In the employ or tin
Iturllngton railroad has worn one col
In real I lar iiiiuon ior a jnu. n nan
I . . . 1 . . i.niiil tit Inlltf
Yeakey by nun wiiuoui any uinnn; i-"""
against loss ami lias never mmou
tendency to wander.
This man says he has always treat
od his collar button kindly, has never
sworn at it nor blamed It for his own
faults. Ills idea Is that If mankind ac
rords due respect to the collar button
It will reciprocate.
ook and Stationery Store j
Point of Law.
In a small southern town two roust
nlinuts cot into an argument about tht
ownership of an opossum. During the.
disturbance Sam assaulted Kemiu
with a paving stone and In due time
was brought before the liar of Justice
Stun, in tho meantime, had engaged
the services of a rising young lawyer
"We have heard the evidence," said
the young attorney at the trial, "anc
I think, nccordlng to Itlackstone, my
cfont Is Innocent."
It was then that Remus arose and
rubbed his bandaged head dolefully.
"Ho may bo Innocent, sah, nccordln'
to Ulackstone," he snld, seriously
"hut according to dat cobblestone he
am guilty."
And the judge thought the same ana
Sam was convicted.
On a Pass.
It was during a teiiious ride on a
western railway, and the passengers,
tired, dirty and thirsty, all Ivrated the
company, with the exception of om
single man. Ills fellow passengers
commented on this, and asked him why
he did not denounce the company, too
"It. would be hardly fair," he replied,
"as I am traveling on a free pass; hut.
If they don't do better pretty soon
blamed If I don't go out and buy a tick
et and Join you." Harper's Magazine
Not for Herl
"With one wave of my wand," 8ay8t
the fairy, "I can make you grow young j
again." j
"Excuse me," replies the woman, "il :
I decline your kind olTer. ir you can
bring youth to me nt my present age
nil right; but I positively refuse tc
travel back through pyrography, tin
first stage of bridge, the habit back,
the straight front, balloon sleeves and; t0 ,j B0
all the rest of the fads I can remem
her." Life.
SEVERAL KINDS OF ACCENTS.
Observant New Yorker Noted the Dif
ferent Pronunciationt of Singer
In the Choir.
"In so cosmopolitan a city as thta,
began a man who was on his war
from a choral service at one of th
New York churches, "I fancy a choir
master's duties are doubly hard."
"How so?" asked his companion,
who, though less observing, had Bat
through tho same service.
"Hecause of tho various pronuncbv
Hons of tho members of the choir. To
day I heard distinctly four different
methods of pronouncing the word
mercy. It took nie some time to fig
ure them all out, but I happened to
know the line 'Lord, have mercy upon
us.' etc. There were some who nald
'molcy,' and they seemed to be In th
majority; others 6aiiR 'murcy' with all
tho b-rr to tho r that they could get
In; still there was somo one, a so
prano who pronounced It as ir it werw
spelled with a double e. 'meercy.' and
some one Rave It a French finish and
said 'mercay.' Now I don't doubt thai
choir master has worked over thosfl
people In his effort to get a uniform
pronunciation, but so far, at least to
mv tiorhnnn too cr tlcal ear. ne
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Revision.
"Now," said the distinguished rep
reaentative, "we have arranged tho
tariff precisely as It should be and all
yoil have to do Is to say 'Amen.' "
"No," answered the distinguished sen
ator, "not 'amen;' 'amend.'"
The Young Idea,
"Ma," said a newspaper man's son,
"I know why editors call themselves
'we, Why?" "So's the man thai
doesn't like the article will think thera
are too many people for him ta
tackle." Christian Work and Evangelist.
miMMIHIIIIMIIIIIIHHMMIMIMMMIIIIIMMIM
i: Two Piece Suits to Order $25.00
Equal in Value to Most $35 Suils
Real Aim of Religion.
Religion has loftier alms than tha
education of a good man. It presup
poses that he Is good already, and Itsii
principal aim Is to uplift tills good
man to the hlshest stago of under
standing. Iiessliij!
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Dealers in all kinds of Musical MorchandLso, Violin, Ctuitar.IJunjoand Mandolin strings ar.d
parts. All late sheet music, vocal and instrumental, on sale.
Make a Note of This.
There may be no psychological s!
"nificanre contained In th" fact, but w
may lay down t'ie dictum, nevertli"
I"hs, lli.it fi-w v.'ouii'ii who in''' pioi? .
bridg'i playi r.-i trim their own kuia.
We guarantee good workmanship,
pood linings and a perfect fit.
Stylish Suits to Order $25 to $45.
Good Trousers to Order $5. to $12.
Next time you visit Omaha visit
our store. It is a pleasure to show
our poods. Don't buy ready made
clothing.
DC
T
')v, South 1 fit li Street. Omaha, Neb.
