NEVER A MAN TO BE ENVIED.
Philadelphia Wiiter's Idea of Status
io Be Accorded Bachelor in
Society.
The bachelor Is punished already,
r.ot only in IohIiic the joy of a hum .
ljt I f!!)1;- nn object of contiimHy. H i
long nn line In-lorn arc willing to put ti t
with nil the losses they sustain In
celihary far h'. It. f rum the majesty of
the law to Impose further penalties.
It was Cic ero or a man of hl.s day who
rrimitked that it was onerous for a
man to Ret along with a wife, hut ini
IMnsitile to get along without one. Tim
hacbelor is not a man only u more
or less Imitation of one-Komeiitnes a
very poor one. lie thinks he has a
Sfwid time in escaping all the major
rcyjieiinibllitics of life, hilt he Is lie--"t
inp no one hut himself. As nn
vxample nnil a wanting he has his
nses hi society. As an Individ uul he
is H't to And (hat he Is eating only
apples of Sodom. The man who de
liberately remains a bachelor Is nl
ready punished ciiohkIi. Let him alone
In bis misery until some nice lii
comi'B along and carries him off. And
w may remark that no man Is a bach
elor of his own Initiative mi matter
how much he may think so. He is
simply a human derelict whom the
women have examined ami passed by.
The bachelors arc the disjecta mem
bra if society whom no woman will
bve. That Is awful and It Is enough.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
had been unalil to win the Ksktmn
from the wife-heating habit. Kven
the wives resent any Interference on
this score.
"An Irish Jig makes them shake wit!:
Joy, a ii.l I am sure ihey woulj dance
were th're roum to stir."
Terrrt for Inebriety.
According to llottin, some of the
t'nns denoting Inebriety ate as fol
lows: Heery, bemused, boozy, bosky,
corned, foggy, foil, fresh, hazy, ele
vated, klsky, lushv. moony, mtiggv,
inii..y, on, screwed, stewed, tight and
winy. In an intermediate class stand
podgy, beargered, blued, cut, primed,
lumpy, plowed, muddled, obfuscated,
Kwlpey, three sheets In the wind ami
topheavy. "lint the ueme," says the
same authority, "Is only obtained
when the disguised Individual 'can't
see a hole In the ladder,' or when he
is 'all mops and brooms.' or 'off bis
nut,' or 'with bis main-brace well
spliced,' or 'with the sun In bis ryes.'
or when he has Mapped the gutter' and
'got the gravel rash,' or 'on the ran
t nn, or 'on the re raw.' or when he is
'sewed up,' or 'regularly scainmered.' "
Hit Business Ability.
In the A.lir in lacks lives a man too
lazy to work, hut evidently of great
business ability. One whiter, when
he was sitting around smoking, his
family came so n - tr starving that
K'Jine of bis neighbors, who could 111
afford to help him, took up a collec
tion and t night for the suffering
family a barrel of (lour, a barrel of
perk mid a load of wood. They were
not considerate enough to cut the
wood, but the business man know how
to tinman. . He hired some of his
neighbors who had not contributed to
his donation t. cut the wood, and paid
them with half of the pork ami half
the flour. Mppincoit's.
MUSIC APPEALS TO ESKIMOS.
Voices Good and They Sing in Tune,
According to Traveler in Regions
of the North.
Music Is one of the chief pleasures
and accomplishments of the Kskltnns.
At the Labrador missions violins are
used by them In the church choir, and
forsifs bands are organized. In "Along
the Labrador Coast" Dr. Townsend
tells of an evening's entertainment
with the Ksklmos at Nain.
"For over an hour these natives sing
to us," he says, "familiar music with
KBklino words 'Itock of Ages,' 'Holy
Night,' Interspersed with what I take
o be secular songs. Their voices are
harmonious and the singing Is of a
superior order. We return the compli
ment In the only way we can with a
Kraphophone. It Is Indeed a terrible
come-down to 'The Old Apple Tree' and
'Everybody Works Itut Father,' but the
I'JjkimoB seem to enjoy It, and greet
the songs and their explanation by
ll Interpreter with peals of laughter.
"A song in which a man beats his
wife seems especially to amuse them.
A Moravian brother told me that they
Getting Into Practice.
It Is often pleasanter to theorize
than to perform. A young law student,
says a writer In the Philadelphia In
quirer, was making a study of certain
processes of his future profession, lie
showed an Inclination to sit in the
house and speculate Idly, instead of
doing some of the domestic tasks
which stood waiting.
"Deduction Is an Interesting proc
ess," declared the youth to his fa
ther. "For example, there Is a heap
of ashes in the yard. That Is evl
dence lhat the family has recently had
fires."
"Well, John," Interrupted his fa
ther, "suppose you pursue your stud
les a little farther by going out and
sifting that pile of ashes." Youth's
Companion.
How the "Toast" Originated.
The drinking to one's health Is a
very old custom, dating way down the
ages. In the six;ee;:th and svon
teenth centuries the favorite drinks
were sack, canary, clar.'t, sherry to
which were adJ 'd hor.ey, sugar, ginger
and other spices. On the top of thl3
mixture a piece of toasted bread wps
always flouted. It was supposed to
give the necessary flavor.
Idea of drinking a "toast.'
Is used In reference to any sentiment
proposed for a speech at a social
gathering or banquet. In fact, the
making of "toasts" is a very g.aceful
ait, worthy of cultivation.
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A Sponge Garden.
A beautiful effect may be obtained
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Country Life In America.
Dickens' Method of Speaking. .
llefore making a speech . Charles
Dickens would decide on his various
heads and then In his mind's eye lik
en the whole 8iihj"ct to the tire of a
carl wheel he lielng the hub. From
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That Energetic Boy.
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a day. Atchison 'oiie.
American Girls Responsible.
Probably the American woman is
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for r.he comes among them witn all
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lihertv, to (lie ainaz"tii( nt of mi n
(ingels and the Parisian. The Oueen.
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The NEWS-HEfiALO, Plattsmouih, Nebraska.
v i
PROPER CARE CF THE INSANE.
City of Gheel, in Holland, TaVes Care
of These Unfortunates as
Its Gjests.
One of the most remarkable placel
In Europe, of which no tourist on
pleasure bent ever takes notice, 's
the "City of the Insane," by which
name Gheel, near Antwerp, has been
iowii ior Reuerai tons. uuui i,j i
n and women, afflicted with insan- j Over there you I pay a dollar for
,- h. all iu forms. live, there, and article that would cost you 2..f Iv
Boots and Gloves.
In a recent divorce case In Scotland I
It was testified that a lady, se trchins
her maid's trunks, found 200 pairs of
her own old Rloves therein. j
"Abroad." said a dealer, anent thi9
happening:, "it isn't unusual for a wom
an of fashion to have 200 pairs ol
Rloves. At the sale of the duchess of
Somerset's things, over 2.000 pairs, all
as good as new, were put up.
You see, gloves are cheaper anroau
an
here
aside from that, foreign women
Incline to go in more for Rloves ana
l.nnts. too than we do. The foreign
HORROR OF AFRICAN NIGHT.
Hut.
Che jHews-Rerald 1
X TWICE A WEEK 4
known for Renerations. About 1.500
mi
ltv iu all its forms. live there, and
have a hanny beine as the "KUests" of
the Inhabitants, who know hy expert- J
Un... ... ....... it... tta
ones. In the streets, in the places ol ! woman Is apt to be better R.nwd and
amusement, the cafes and workshops
these patients may he found, aud no
where Is there the remotest sugges
tion of restraint apparent. The board
ranges from 210 to 2,400 marks a year,
and, no matter bow small the amount
may be, the patient Is always the
favored member of the family. He
has the first right to the most com
fortable chair, and the head of the
table belongs to him. He receives
the most attention, and this he learns
to appreciate and to endeavor to
maintain by living down his Illness
Even the children know how to treat
the demented people. The dangerous
or.es are sent to another settlement
and to institutions. It Is wonderful
how considerate, careful and kind the
simple people are toward theit
charges, and a peep Into the commun
Ity would probably terrify physicians
who had never heard of and could not
appreciate the good which Is being
done in this "City of the Insane."
booted than her American sister.'
It Was the Cat.
The yellow-haired hostess rushed
suddenly to the center table, took ah
the papers off and smoothed down 8
thick, fluffy yellow skin that lay there
"It's my cat," she explained. "M
poor little pet cat that died last spring
Isn't it beautiful? She was a lovely
cat. You see her picture up there on
the wall when she was alive. Uvelj
little kitty!" she purred to the skin
while some of her guests shuldeteu
and one whispered to the other:
"I don't see how he rould do It. I'a
rather have the skin of my hnsban l on
the table or floor than my pet cat."
Microbes In City and Country.
Tho microbes in city air are
times more than In country air.
It
Beard Heavier on Right S.de.
A man's beard Is ccnerally hcav-
'l.M' cn the right side.
Children Are Victims.
A member of the Society for Polit
ical Study In New York said the
other day that the factories claltr
more victims than the rivers In China
ever did, tnoro little children roIur tc
their death from these places. The
mines and the sweatshops are worsa
than the factories, she said. In the
course of the discussion the point wat
lirotiRht out that there Is doubl as tc
whether the mothers In China ever ilc
throw thdr children Into tU Tims
Traveler Describes Peculiar Condi
tions That Exist In Regions of
the Dark Continent.
Caroline Klrkland. In her hook on
"Some African Highways." writes ol
nlRht in the dark continent: "There is
nn;hiiiR so black as an African nipht
and I think that it Is because the
earth, being a deep red. ofTers no re
flection to the faint starlight, such as
we Ret in other lands. Instead I'
wallows tin what slicht clow ti
may he, and Rives to the darkness a
dense, velvety quality not to he found
anywhere else. Overhead the stars
f.lare more brilliantly than in north
etn latitudes, but they seem to cast
no light, and the night Is palpable
suffocatltiR. appalling and filled with
a nameless horror which Is quite In
descrlhahle."
In a sltiRle sentence the same writer
Rives a forcible Idea of the steepin
sickness: "While there Is nothing
acutely dlstressltiR about this man
ner of dying, nothing to equal the ter
tors of other vital diseases like can
rcr or tuberculosis, there Is some
thing peculiarly sinister In the slow
stealthy, Irresistible approach of
death, whose course no known remedy
can stay or alter."
Of African lions Miss Klrkland
writes: "As a rule It Is only old Hons
who attack human beings. They grow
too decrepit to be able to catch the
more agile antelopes who are their
lawful prey, so, Roaded by a hunRet
which age cannot wither or lessen,
they pounce on unwary mortals."
His Role. .
The actor of the stranded troupV
protested at the prospect of footing the
ties.
"Quit your kicking," said tho man.
ager, impatiently; "you signed as
walklns Keuileuiaa, dldu't jour
V'
