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4
THE RURAL f!R" DEPARTMENT.
What Happened Wren Resident Sent
Hurry Call to Lone lyville Fire Chief.
lilllups smeDed Frr.cke, and investi
gation divulged the dread fact that his
house was o:i fire.
Now, inasmuch as l!i!lups lives off in
the country, two miles away from the
hose company, he heramc very much
agitated, and ran at once to the tele
phono. Alter ringing three or four
times ho connected with old SI Ilo
kins, the fire chief of Ijinclyville.
"That you. Silas?" lie cried agitated
ly over the wire.
"Ya-as, who's this?" cr.me the an
swer. "Why. I'm lliKups. My home is on
fire, and"
"Who'd you say?"
"Hillups, old man. For the love of
heavens, hurry the engine over here.
My house is on fire."
"Whose haouse d'ye say?"
"Mine, 'Hillups'."
"Waal, 1 wanter know. Who sot it?"
"1 don't know, hut ring the alarm,
will you? And send the hoys up quick."
"Wa'al, I dunno as I kin. Mr. Hillups.
My wife, (she's got the key to the flre
house, and she's gone daown t" Sallle's
house for supper. Hesides, Mill Jones,
lie's pone to t'enterville to buy a kyow,
an' Jim, he's dufcwn to Missus liolli
brrry's place plckin" cherries."
"VAYll, for heaven's sake, do some
thing, can't you?" roared liillups.
"Wanl, I'd like f oblige ye spulre,
hut I dunno as I kin. Leastways not
till tomorrer mornin'."
"To-morrow morning be hanged, Hos
klns! The house is burning now."
"Wa-nl, mebbe I might git up some
time this evening, Mr. Killiips."
"This evening nothing! Why, the
roof's nlihrp nt ililo .-,- r,,,,.,.,(
"Wa al. I tell ye, squire, if It's as had
ns that, what I think ye'd better do"
"Well, go on! I'm listening."
"Got a postage stamp?"
"Yes."
"Wa-al. preaps ye'd better stick it
onto on envelope and send word to th'
Insurance people, if It's got to th' roof
they ain't much use u' my coming out.
if ye want me to. I'll send my boy
Willie up after the letter, an' he kin
take It daown to the post-office an'
mail It for ye."
- "Y'm h '" brim rMllupw. tnit he
didn't fiiilth. The fire had reached the
telephone win ? and dtstroyed the con
nect ion. New York Herald.
Tone and Tune.
When your vitality Is low you need
"toning up." Why not "tuning up?"
Same thins. We are all pianos, just
a mass of sounding boards, keys and j
strings. We get out of tune and tone;
we run down, Just like an eight-day ,
clock, and require rewinding. Look at i
your wife to-morrow morning and see
If she Is out of tune. If she is cross ;
you will say she got out of bed with
the wrong foot foremost. Not a hit of
sense in that. She simply got up from j
her night's rest out of tune, or tone.
Tune her up! Tone her up! In her
finest health she may be a G sharp; ,
wnen not so well sne may be at 1). .
Have your family kit of tuning Irons; i
give her u test; then bring her up to
pitch. New York Press.
All Join In Helping Messina.
Says the U-ndon Chronicle; "It is i
not only by means of ships that .Amer- j
lea has gone to ihe rescue of Stcll-;
lans. Visitors from ihe western hevil- j
sphere to Home, albeit making no long j
stay, are using their wealth lavishly
in the work of rescue. We hear of one
family alone receiving six earthquake,
children into their house, and giving1
I
shelter to It? more elsewhere. The
committees of relief are composed
from every nation that gathers in
Home for winter ami spring. All gay
etles are suspended, and the embas
sies have put their merely social of
fices aside."
Where the Bard Falls Short.
"Aren't there some rather Indelicate
things In Shakespeare's plays?" sug
gested the punctilious cltl.cti.
"Yes," answered Mr. Stortnlngton
Harnes, "but they don't go quite far
enough to constitute a New York success."
Pcstrrandial "Sticker."
"What sort of an after-dinner speak
er Is Wiggins?"
"One of the kind who starts In by
saying they didn't expect to be called
on, and then proceed to demonstrate
that they can't be called off."
Family Likeness.
"They say hit by looks Jut like me."
"Well, that's just what I wanted to
say. but I w;;s afraid oti might be of
fended." New York lb raid.
void Vacillation.
Von Midtke: He who liesllatet
Qiiicb wilt accomplish little.
Distress in
Stomach
mm
p. i
A. 7
THERE'S
A
DIFFERENCE
Brought Old Man to Time.
The young man had asked the father
for his daughter and been refused.
"Then yon will not give me Jane?"
he hoarsely demanded.
"I didn't speak In Volapuh, did I?"
sr. ered Ji.-;en father.
The young man paused at the door.
"I em considered a good looking fel
low," he said. "Ladles turn and stare
alter me ns I pass along the street.
Your cook smiled at me to night as I
lingered at the side door. I returned
Ihe smile. Now I will follow up thli
favorable iinprssion. I will make
lovp to the cook In a weejc we will
elope!"
Thp old man turned pale.
"Don't talk like that," he gasped.
"You wouldn't be cruel enough to rob
us of our cook. No, no; not another
word. Jane Is yours!"
In grocery stores, more than in other stores. It is a
pleasure to trade at our store. In the first place we
have one of the best assorted stocks in Eastern Ne
braska, and it is always kept up to the minute.
Whether it is your regular buying or you want some
thing special our stock will not disappoint you. Then
we pride ourselves on our service. You get what vou
want and WHEN YOU WANT IT. Ask your neighbor
)wshe li kesjto trade at Soennichsen s and you'll Ret
a pointer hot off the bat that she is perfectly satisfied.
Goods delivered to any part of the city.
And all Misery from Indigestion
Vanishes Five Minutes
Later.
Every family here ought to keep
some Diapcpsin in the house, as any
one of you may have an attack of Irt
riigustion or Stomach trouble at any
time, day or night.
This'hurmlcss preparation will digest
anything' you cut and overcome a wur
stonmch live minutes afterward..
If your meals don't tempt you, oi
what little you do cat stems to fill you,
or lays like a lump of lead in your
stomach, or if you have heartburn. '
that is a sign of Indigestion.
Ask your riiarmacist for a GJ-ccnt
case of Tape's Diapcpsin and take ono
triangle after supper tonight. There
will be no sour risings, no belching of
undigested food mixed with acid, m
stomach gH.s or heartburn, fullness or
heavy feeling in the stomach, Nausii
Debilitating Headache, Dizziness or
Intestinal griping. This will nil go.
nnd, tu'sides, there will be no sour food
left over in the stomach to poison your
breath with nauseous oders.
Tape's Diapcpsin is a certain car for
all stomach misery, because it will take
kohl of your food and digest it Jirst t he
same as if your stomach wasn't tlw-nv
Actual, prompt relief for all your
stomach misery is at your I'harmaeittt,
waiting for you.
These large fit) cent cases contain
more than sufficient to cure a case of
Dyspepsia or Indigestion.
M
OEM1GHSEN.
Too Good a Story to Keep.
This woman was ill, or thought
she was, which came to the turn
thing. Accustomed to the ministra
tions of the family phjBlcfarx she-'
sent out a hurry call, but the iriwftco
could not be located for the moment.
She grew sick and sicker with every
minute, and as a last resort, another
medical man was sent for, a strauxer, .
but of high repute.
liefore he could respond, tlm family '
physician turned up and cared for
his patient. He was not told that
another had been railed in, and when
the second man arrived, the lady was
so flustered and nonplused by the
false position In which she found her
self that she sent down word she was-,
too ill to see the physician would be.
excuse her?
He happened to mention the Strang.
Incident to the family physician, with ,
whom he maintains close relations,:,
and thai Is how I ho story leaked out..
Floodgates of Wisdom.
"Why do you sometimes discuss top
ics on which you are scantily In
formed ?"
"To save time." answered the fear
less public character. "It's the surest
t way or neing immediately and volum
inously enlightened."
When Europe Shivered.
The winter of 1 S58 was very mild
In the fulled States, but particularly
severe In Kurope. For the first time
In the nineteenth century the river Po
was frozen over at Ferrara, permitting
for a long time the constant passage
of man and beast. At Constantinople
mow fell constantly for 15 days. The
snow extended to Smyrna, the adja
cent districts of Asia Minor, and the
Greek Islands were clothed In white.
Gentleness and Strength.
Nothing Is so strong as gentleness,
nothing so gentle as strength. St.
Francis do Sales.
The Rat as a Fighter.
Hats have been known 1o kill and
eat babies, and as they are not afraid
to attack fullgrown men they would
probably make short work of dogs
and cats when their numbers were as
great as they were In Ilamelin. For
Its size the rat Is one of the fiercest
of animals and it multiplies so rapid
ly that it Is no wonder it got the bet
ter of the puor people of that town.
When She Will Be Man's Equal.
Woman can can never hope to be
man's equal until, instead of exulting
when she hears of the fall of one of
her sisters, she honestly says to her
elf: "Poor thing! It's too bad that
she got found out."
Hard to Fbid Material.
Nature is lavish in the production nt
very thing but great men. Hubbard,
The Slncerest Respect.
"You people In the east don't appre
ciate the importance of the great mid
dle west," said the visitor.
"We don't, eh! On the contrary, we
sit up nights thinking about the great
middle west. That's where nioBt of our
weather conies from."
Undue Exposure.
Adolphus I say, deah boy, they tell
:ne ( holly enught quite a cold dont
cherltnow. Augustus Yen, he went without his
"hrysanthemum one day last week.
Philadelphia l':ibllc Ledger.
Solid at a Rock.
Tom I ate some of the cake she
made just to make myself solid.
Dick Did you succeed?
roni I couldn't feel any more solid
if I had eaten concrete or building
Poorly Supplied with Teeth.
Pcsplte its great size, au elebliant
hK nulv ii;ht teeth
Misanthropy.
"Don't you wish you were a boy.
again?" "Yes." answered Sirlus llarkpr. T
see a lot of people that make me wish
my dignity did not prevent me from
laying for them with a few dozen,
rocks."
Reliable Weather.
"So you are going to the north polo
next year?"
"Yes," answered the arctic explorer.
"You must like the climate."
"No. hut there Is some satisfaction)'
In knowing that when a cold wave Is
predict ed you won't make any mhv
take In starting a fire and putting orj
your heavy cloihes."
f
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J. w.
LARKIN
SUCCESSOR TO
COMPANY
The famous elegant stock will be maintained and
some new lines will be added. Stock includes everything
to be found in a first-class Racket Store, including books,
stationery and cigars. Drop in and get acquainted.
Watch for announcement of Grand Souvenir Opening
which will appear soon.
IntheCoatesBlock
w. c.
COMPANY
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