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About Plattsmouth herald. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1892-1894 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1893)
KLY llEHALl): I'LArfSMOUril.yKKUASKA, JaXUaUY 5, 1892.
LANGUAGE IS SWEET.
EXPRESSION BY THE TONGUE IS
NECESSARY TO HAPP1NCS3.
I.iro Would lit' Mighty Di'tnliite Without
fcwrrt WimU Miirli Iore Itruiitiful
. Cuiilil V .H ike Thin ! itimo if Wo
Took Mnr I'lidi In TalUIni;.
How vr,iM you enjoy lif wiih wet
vonls left mt? My littlest one runs t
ino anil with both nnns ubout my luck
pull nil- down to kiss uu, ainl wliisjicrs
us if it wcrH u now secret: "Papa, I love
yon. Oil, liow I ju.st do love, lovo yon!"
What u nest it irf to bo palled about so
when one Ls busy! How it ilblocates
ono'a collar nnl one's thoughts! Hut
what would you lake for snch prattle?
Jlow would yon lika it checked, and in
ttead of Mich Hiiontancity bo compelled
to imaxinoyou uro loved? Dear mo, old
man, but why no fussy? Do you not
know you sro loved? Do not actions
tpenk louder than words? Does not your
wife cook your meuls, uud does not your
Kil l put your room in order? Must you
also bo mussed over and gabbled to in
order to be Bati: Tied?
Then conies my oldest boy, a grand
fellow, Btout and wholesome and brainy,
nnd beforo I am aware his Hnn is ubotit
my neck, and he pulls my head over on
liia shoulder with a kiss and a 'Tapa,
you are awful dear to me." Pshaw, what
is Ibero in words? A few sounds noth
ing t lsc! I am not ko certain about that.
I only know that I would not take a mint
of money for that small bouquet of my
boy's words. No, not for the world would
1 have to guess ut his affection and get
linnjrry for a solid certainty. There is not
enough such eloquence, as I have looked
About tiie world. And yet it should not
flow too easily. Tonguy lovo is quito
another thing from open heart edness. In
my opinion we fIiouM bring up our
young folk to easily and frankly express
their feelings, only not to express any
more than they feel. The art and trick
of speech is to b more eloquent than
true, nnd so to turn love into a lie.
Somewhere 1 have lately read a good
story of h married couple that from
oine spleen vowed not to speak to each
other. Well, if they had not really loved
they could have got on without talk, but
in this r iiko they could not. So by happy
inspiration they used tho household cat
as u go between, "do," said Betsy,
"and tell John that dinner is ready,"
"Go," answered Johu, "anil tell Betsy
1 am on hand." "Here, puss," says John,
"tell Dotsy this pudding is remarkably
pood, and 1 will take another plate of it
if she pleases." "Oo tell John," answers
Uetsy, "that I am glad ho likes this
peach shortcake, and he Bhall have throe
pieces if ho will."
So for years they kept their vows, but
told their love unit got on famously. It
is a general fact thirt friendship grows
stronger by a short separation and cor
respondence by pen. A man or woman
will say 6weet or truo things in a letter
that they would not say first by mouth.
1 do not quite understand this, but 1
know it is true. Friends treasnro let
ters, uud friendship never is quito itself
until a few letters have passed. I en
courage young folk to writo letters to
learn the art of talking well. Oho would
auppose it would be the other way that
good talkers should write well.
How came it ubont that the tonjrtm
and adjucent organs got control of Lin
puage? Possibly Dido can explain this.
She leaps and bounds about mo in over
whelming joy. Her nose is in my face
and her paws on my chest. At last, ut
terly unable to express all her emotion,
she throws back her head and explodes
In a bark. It is nothing but an explo
sion, but it is a great relief to her.
That is the beginning of speech in all
creatures only a noise made by the
rush of emotion through the mouth.
By nnd by this noise is modified to ex
press different emotions. Tho dog can ex
press a dozen passions und resentments,
and yet most of these are told by the
tail nnd the body in general.
The next step is, or was, to modify
these sound.! into musical roles. The
bird dons not enunciate first, but sings.
Tho lower races sing well and talk
badly. Tho highest art is to sing well
and talk equally well. So languago
slowly gets stolen by a certain set of
organs that at first had little to do with
it. The legs nnd hands como less into
play to tell emotions; tho tail, which
has done so much nnimnl talking, is
aborted. I thiuk it is aborted mainly
because its functions nro mostly passed
over to tho tongue. I have not heard
whether tho tailed tribe of Africnns wag
those appendages in friendly greeting
like dogs or not. I would not own a
tailless cat or have a horse's tail even
clipped of its hair. It is to nbbreviato
speech; it is to lop off the organ of ex
pression. You will see that my theory about tho
development of language accounts for
many abnormal forms of speech. Pro
fauity is a mere explosion of sound,
closely allied to the dog's bark mid the
cat's squall. It is not so wicked as it is
beastly. It is tho natural language of a
vulgar fellow who has no art of high
lnngunge. Half tho world talks by ex
plosion and expletives. Tho more beast
ly a man's habits the more profane he
becomes by necessity. It is his natural
language. What a stretch it is from
such a man to Coleridge or Emerson or
I heard of a man the other day, "Ah,
he is a great scientist, to be sure, but he
is also such a splendid talker." The art
of sayiug fino things finely you cannot
afford to bo without. "Live with wolves
and you will learn to howl," says the
Spanish proverb. We ought to be able
to add, "Live with men and you will
learn to talk well." But that is not so.
There are too few really good talkers
really wise and witty tongues. E. P.
Poell inSt. Louis Glolie-Democrat.
Judge Come, you'd better plead guil
ty.. You'll get off easier.
Prisoner Ah, 1 twig yer lay. Yer
vrant to get home to dinner! London
NothlujJ ew I inter tlic Mm.
"I a in beginning to Ulievo that there
is absolutely nothing new under die sun,
but that every thought is a rtvival oran
imitatioi' or a downright plagiarism of
some one which pri-a-dcd it years and
years ago," said Calvin S. SouthwoodM
ho warmed bis feet cgainst a heater in
the rotunda of tho Liudoil. "Even
the inventions that appear so brand new
may have cxi.4ef or their possibility
been suggested away back before the
dawn of history. At any rate this is evi
lently truo in tlio lei.lius of literature.
In this line, if in nothingel.se, history rfr
peals itself and tho work! runs in cycles.
1 attended church Sunday fact, I assurt
you and heard a distinguished gentle
man uso a metaphor as his own which 1
at once recognized as used once by Olivet
Wendell Holmes, and which iu different
form I once ran across in an old book
containing the 'Canterbury' Tales. Yes
terday I read iu a magazine an artick
by a writer of national reputation, wht
used as his own the expression, 'Pride
that dines on vanity, sups on contempt.'
"This expression was evidently taken
bodily from tho 'Poor Richard's Alma
nac' of Benjamin Franklin, and this di
tinguished philosopher I feel sure bor
rowed it either consciously or uncon
sciously from nn old German book full
of folklore. Many of these old thoughts
iu more recent writers are unconsciously
reproduced, and in their new dress cau
hardly bo recognized. 'A guilty con
science needs no accuser' may easily be
recognized iu Hamlet's soliloquy, 'That
conscience does make cowards of us all,'
but it appeared far back of that, in the
sacred pages, 'The wicked flee when no
man pursuelh, and no doubt iu othet
shapes ages before that. No, them'
nothing new under the mm." St. Louis
Return had a great contempt for mere
words, however eloquent. One evening
ho met at a sort of a literary dinner M.
C'aro, the philosopher beloved of fino hi
dies, who set himself to prove the exist
ence of Ood. His eloquent assertions did
not seein to interest tho sage. In the
middle of one of his most sonorous pe
riods M. Kenan attempted to make him
But all the ladies were intensely in
terested. They would not have their
"Iu a moment, M. Penan, we will
listen to you in your turn."
lie bowed submissively.
Toward tho end of dinner I.I. Caro,
out of breath, stopped with a rhetorical
emphasis. At onco every one turned to
ward tho illustrious scholar, hoping that
he would enter the lists, and the hostess,
with an encouraging smile, said:
"Now, M. llenan"
"I am afraid, dear lady, that 1 am now
a little behindhand."
"I wanted to ask for a little tnoro po
tato." Fortnightly Review.
Indorsed for Olllce.
I nice looking old gentleman with a
florid complexion approached tho ap
pointment clerk of the treasury one day
with an application for a place, indorsed
by somo letters of recommendation.
When tho official asked him a question
he said: "Please writo it down. I am so
deaf that I could not hear a sound if a
cannon were fired off close to my ear."
General McCauley thought that this
was rather a disadvantage for an appli
cant for employment as a clerk, but he
asked the stranger to write his name and
address. The old gentleman shook his
head. "It is impossible," ho said. ' I
cannot write at all, because my hand is
palsied." Washington Cor. New York
Clara Jane'n Hardworking Hen.
Clara Juno Edwards has placed on our
table two largo hen eggs. They are
about tho fcize of turkey eggs. Clara
Jane says that the hen that laid 'em has
laid two of this size every day for the
last four years, but has now gone to set
tiu. Tho eggs have been broken in the
frying pan and they have each two yolks.
A little calculation will show that this
is nearly 3,000 eggs iu the space of four
years from one hen, equal to 12,000 com
mon sized hen eggs. Stewart County
Frightened. Into a Fever.
Frederick I of Prussia was killed by
fear. His wife was insane, and one day
she escaped from her keepers, and dab
bling her clothes in blood rushed upon
her husband while he was dozing in his
chair. King Frederick imagined her to
bo the white lady whoso ghost was be
lieved to appear whenever the death of
a member of tho royal family was to oc
cur, aud ho was thrown into a fever and
died in six weeks. Dr. Elder in Wash
Arcuatomvd to llclng Wiijluld.
There was a Bavarian prince who was
so cutirely accustomed to being contin
ually waylaid and followed about by
his admirers that once on coming out of
tho Frauenkircho (Church of Our Lady),
feeling himself 'held back by the cloak,
he turned abruptly round and angrily
exclaimed, "This is really not tho
place!" before he saw, to his relief, that
it was only his cloak which had hitched,
in passing, on a nail. Exchange.
Etliun Allcn'i ltcpl).
While Ethan Allen was held a pris
oner in New York an offer was mado
him of a large tract of land in Vermont
or Connecticut, as he preferred, pro
vided ho would espouse tho cause of
England. His reply is characteristic:
"If by fidelity I have recommended
myself to General Howe, I shall be
loath by uufaithfnlness to lose the gen
eral's good opinion." Youth's Com
panion. tinai-ded Sympathy.
Very Stout Nervous Old Lady (to
truard) Oh, guard, wouldn't it be dread
ful if there was a collision on the line
I'm about to travel by?
Facetious Guard Yes, mum, it would
be for any one you happened to fall on.
A DETECTIVE SAYS THAT WOMEN
ArtE M0i".I CHUCL THAN MEN.
Ill Kfitllty 'I ii t Are R Many I'i ral
Criminal u Thi-re Are Male, hut Clr
riunotum'en ( iiiinili to Shield the Wick
ed Vom;in Women Seldom nuforni.
Theodore C. Metzler, the well known
San Francisco detective, has not had
twenty-six years of experience in his pro
fession without obtaining some very
strong impressions and opinions in regard
to crime and criminals.
"As a sort of text," said Sir. Metzler,
"for what I have to say on this subject,
I will state that in considering men and
women as criminals, between whom and
their deeds comparisons are to lie mado,
I consider that, while man is undoubted
ly, as a rule, the more prominent in
crime, woman, on tho other hand, is at
once more cruel und cunning in what
"From the cirenmstanco that a con
siderable less number of women than
men are convicted of crime the infer
ence is drawn that in women the crim
inal propensities are weaker or under
better control. Such a conclusion Is,
however, not borne out by tho facts, for
when crimes havo been traced to women
it has been found in the great majority
of cases that tho guilty deeds have been
committed not only with systematic
cunning, but also with a coolness and
cruelty which have seldom been attrib
uted to man.
"There are several reasons," continued
Mr. Metzler, "why so few women have
been convicted of crime. Man's natural
sympathy for her often causes him to
overlook important points against her,
and then again ho is always extra care
ful for fear ho might do her injustice
and injury. Men in the detective pro
fession may pretend to have no sympathy
for a woman, yet a good looking face
und a bewitching smile always find a
tender spot in their hearts.
"Of course there are exceptions, but
they are very few. If thero aro men in
this profession who aro not susceptible
to a woman's plea, I, in my experience
of twenty-six years, have failed to find
"Another thing: It is seldom consid
ered that girls uro watched more care
fully than boys uud are under greater
restraint. Neither is it taken into ac
count that older females spend more of
their time nt home, while males of their
own ago tire on tho street or mingling
with persons whoso habits are not al
ways the best. Many of the temptations
to crime come from business complica
tions, in which women have little or no
share, as they spend most of their time
at home with their children nnd female
companions. Most homicides, you know,
are tho results of anger excited when
persons are away from their homes and
families, as violent quarrels generally
take place in tho street or barroom, and
not in tho parlor or sitting room.
"Now as to the cruelty and delibera
tion of the female criminal. The history
of crime shows that most of the murders
committed by women aro those jierpe
t rated by the administration of poison.
They show careful preparation and great
deliberation. In almost every instance
treachery is employed, the victim being
invited to partake of refreshments by
ono who is presumed to be a friend.
"Murder by the administration of poi
son is considered the most foul and the
darkest of all crimes, but it is the one
that women have been addicted to more
generally than men in all ages and
"Another very remarkable fact," con
tinued the detectivo, "has recently been
mentioned in a London paper by the
chaplain of Clerkenwell jail. It is that
some criminals are practically incurable.
From a table prepared by him it was
shown that during last year thero were
committed to the prisons and jails of
England nnd Wales 5,080 men and 9,701
women who had been convicted no less
than ten times previously. You see the
forco of the comparison.
"A partial explanation of this strange
state of things may bo found in the fact
that women are more thoroughgoing in
all things, good, bad or indifferent, than
tho men. They do nothing by halves.
Uu tho matter the construction of a
shortcako, the making of a crazy quilt
or tho poisoning of a rival, woman de
votes all her time, knowledge and talent
to what she has iu view.
"Then, again, a woman has less chance
of reforming than a man. The latter
can go to a strango or distant place,
raise whiskers or shave those he had, as
sumo a different name and commence
life anew. He cau generally find em
ployment, but with tho woman it is
more difficult. Disguise is not so easy,
and if she goes to a different place some
one is liable to recognize her.
"A strauge woman is always looked
on with suspicion, as it is presumed that
she would prefer to live in the town
whero sho was brought up nnd where
her old acquaintances are. A man gets
credit for his enterprise if lie goes to a
now country and engages in a bnsiness
for himself, but such is not the case
with a woman. If she is once discov
ered her own sex nre the first to point
their fingers at her, turn tip their noses
and refuse to associate with her, the re
sult of which is that she becomes hard
ened and callous, aud is again driven to
crime." San Francisco Post.
As Far A Ixiok (io.
"They've raked in a pretty tough look
ing lot this morning, haven't they?" ob
served the stranger, who hsd dropped in
at tho police station.
"You are looking at the wrong gang,"
said the rejiorter to whom he had spoken.
"Those are not the prisoners. They are
the lawyers." Exchange.
Where llonton Street Cut Their Nuraee.
The English names given to the Back
Bay streets were evolved by a couple of
Irish-Americans on the board of survey,
aided by a copy of the "British Peer
age." Boston Pilot.
AN ANGRY INSPECTOR.
Hr. Helen limit' Experience In aMutetiir
One of the sights of Copenhagn is the
Rosenborg castle collection, officially
known as the "Chrniiel jgical Collection
of the Kings of Denmark." When Mrs.
Helen Hunt went to see it she bought it
"full ticket." so as to insure the entire
attention of the uiu-enm inspector. Ha
was a handsome man, fifty years old or
more, und wIipii he began to speak Eng
lish the visitor's delight was unbounded.
What an afternoon she should have!
"I uin so-ry," sho said, "that we have so
short a time in which to see these beau
tiful and interest nig collect ions. Two
hours is nothing!" "Oh, I shall explain
to you everything," he said, and he pro
ceeded to throw open the doors of mys
terious wall closets. Says Mrs. Hunt:
The first thing he pointed out to me
was tho famous Oldenborg horn, said to
have been given to Count Otto of Olden
borg by a mountain nymph in a forest
one day in tho year 1)09. As he pointed
to it I opened my catalogue to find the
place where it was mentioned, that I
might make on the margin some notes
of points that I wished to recollect. I
might have been looking at it for per
haps half a minute when thundering
from the mouth of my splendid Dane
"Do you prefer that you read it iu the
catalogue than that I tell you?"
I am not sure, but my impression is
I actually jumped at his tone. I know
I was frightened. I explained to him
that I was not looking for it in the cata
logue to read then and there, but only
to associate what I saw with its place
nnd with the illustrations iu the cata
logue, aud to make notes for future use.
no hardly heard a word I said. Tutting
out his'hand and waving my poor cata
logue awny, he said:
"It is all there. You shall find every
thing there as I tell you. Will yon lis
ten?" Quite cowed, I tried to listen, but 1
found that without my marginal notes
I should remember nothing. I opened
my catalogue again. The very sight of
it seemed to act upon him like a scarlet
flag on a bull.
Instantly he hurst out upon me again.
In vain I tried to stem the tide of his
angry words, and tho angrier he got the
less intelligible became his English.
"Perhaps you take mo for a servant in
this museum," ho said. "Perhaps my
name is as good in my country as yours
is in your own!"
"Oh, do do listen to mo one minute!"
I said. "If you will only hear me I
think 1 can make you understand. I do
implore you not to bo angry."
"I am not angry. I have listened to
you every timo too many times. I have
not time to listen any more."
This he said so angrily that I felt the
tears coming into my eyes. I was in de
spair. I turned to Harriet nnd said,
"Very well, Harriet, wo will go."
"You shall not go!" he exclaimed.
"Twenty years 1 have shown this mu
seum nnd never yet was uny one before
dissatisfied with what I tell them. 1
have myself written this catalogue you
carry. Now I will nothing say, and you
can ask if you wish I should explain any
thing." He folded his arms and stepped back,
the very imago of a splendid man in a
sulk. I hesitated what to do, but at last
I gulped down my wounded feelings and
went on looking and making notes.
Presently he began to cool down, to
see his mistake. In less than half an hour
ho had ceased to bo hostile, and before I
the end of the hour he had become friend
ly, nnd more. He seized both my hands
in his, exclaiming:
"We shall be good friends good! You
must como ugaiu to Rosenborg; you
must Bee it all. I will myself show you
every room. No mutter who sends to
come in, they shall not lie admitted. I
go alone with you."
A Story About the Fanny.
A pretty fable about the pansy is cur
rent among French nnd German chil
dren. The flower has five petals and five
sepals. In most pausies, especially of
the earlier and less highly developed
varieties, two of the petals nro plain in
color nnd threo nve gay. The two plain
petals have a single sepal, two of the
gay petals havo a eepal each, and the
third, which is the largest of all, has two
sepals. The fable is that the pansy rep
resents a family consisting of husband
wife nnd four daughters, two of the lat
ter beijig stepchildren of tho wife.
The plain petals nre tho stepchildren,
with only one chair; the two small gay
petals nre the daughters, with a chair
each, und the largo gay petal is the wife,
with two chairs. To find the father one
must strip nway the petals until the
stamens and pistils nro bare. They
have a fanciful resemblance to an old
man with a flannel wrap about bis neck,
his shoulders upraised and his feet in a
bathtub. Detroit Free Press.
A Hefrartory Youth,
A child four years old is the son of a
man who is almost abnormally pious.
This youth was told to go to see a fami
ly visitor who had incautiously shown
nn interest in him. Instead of doing so
he backed nwny, lodged himself in a
corner, and with a convincing shake of
the head nnd flourish of the lists ex
claimed: "I wont, I won't, I wou't, for
Jesus' Bake. Amen." New York Re
corder. limiting It Ointly.
"Sirs. Small," said the lodger to his
landlady, "I thought you didn't allow
smoking in the parlor?"
"I dou't," replied Mrs. Small with en
ergy. "Who's doing it, I'd like to know?"
"Well, if you have time you might
step in and remonstrate with the lamp."
To Dlmilpiite an Orange.
It is not generally known that an
orange hit in the exact center by a rifle
ball will vanish at once from sight.
Such, however, is the fact. Shooting it
through the cynter scatters it in such in
finitesimal pie:es that it is at once lost
to sight. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Herold's Double Store
UNDERBUY AND UNDERSELL, W&IsJ
TIIK-Sh two words cjatonize the whole phil
osoi.hy ol niereantilo success -underbuy, not so
much to make extra profit on goods, but to tell
nxln at a proportionate under price, and with the
"Knock-down Logic" of our iinutateiiable bargains,
sweep all competition from our path tike the ehalF
before the wind. We earnestly invite you to call
and examine our r,,ds and prices which appeal
with the burning el. npa-nce ot genuine Immains to
your Pelt interest. We call your atttntioiAo the
following "Trade Quickencrs'':
Trade Quickener No 1.
Hats at Half Price A complete stock of Mens'
and Hoys' hats, consigned to us by W. A. L. Gib
bon & Co., wholesale hat house of Omaha, being
the stock of one of their customers who tailed. We
bought them for 50c on the dollar and are pre
pared to sell them at a proportionate under-price.
Trade Quickener No. 2.
Shoes at Less Than Cost, to Make $3,000
worth of Indies', Misses', Children's, Men's and
JJoys' Shoes knocked down at auction to the high
est bidder. We took tho lot at about 40 per cent
under the regular price, and the price that we are
offering them at will be a great bid for your trade.
We are also offering in our Shoe Department 1,
500 pairs of Ladies', M isses', Children's, Men's and
Hoys' Sample shoe?, being the entire line of sam
ples of shoes manufactured and carried by one of
the largest wholesale shoe houses on the Missouri
river Kirkendale, Jones & Co., of Omaha-and
we are oflering them at exactly factory prices.
Trade Quickener No. 3.
Underwear to the consumer at prices that other
dealers pay. We buy our underwear in case-lots
direct from the mills, saving the middle-man's
profit, and can sell it to our customers at the same
prices that the western wholesale dealers charge
the small country dealer. Call or send for our
prices on underwear and be convinced of the truth
of this statement.
. We have opened up the store room formerly oc
cupied by Urown & ISarrett, druggists, so that we
are now ready to do business on a larger scale than
ever, in our Immense Double Store building. See
our Fall and Winter line of Dress Goods and
Cloaks before buying. We can stive you 20 per
cent in these two depaitments.
William Herold & Son,
505 and 507 Main-St., Plattsmouth, Neb.
YOUR FAVORITE HOME NEWSPAPER
AND T1I12 LKADINO RKPITHLICAN FAMILY PAPKR
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general political news, editorials and discussions nre compre
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