iXEsoiwOTsini-7
f
THE HEAL LOBBYIST.
THE WOMEN
THE SAME-
ARE NUISANCES JUST
AS THE MEN ARE.
There 1 1 mm I ! - n m irrat Deal of Uomanre
Circulated Alxtut I h lobbyists, and II
Is Time That the Truth Waa Known.
The Heal Thing In Very IHaappolnting.
"Show me a blyint" was the rvqnttit
of a frienl who was walking through
the Capitol with the writer. This visitor
was a reader of the newftpapera, a man
f intelligence. iiikI a lndiever in most of
the interesting stories he hul read alxmt
the nnmljcr. ingenuity, boMnes.s, skill
and usefulness of the body of lobbyists
that is suppowd to tie almost a necessary
part of the legislative machinery.
I bhowed my visitor a lobbyist. He
-was one of the betst known of the lot
about the Capitol. He was leaning back
against the corridor wall, opposite the
entrance of the house of representatives,
with his hands thrust into the jockets of
a pair of trousers that were so raveled
about the heels that they might be said
to wear whiskers without provoking the
remonstrances of the most thorough de
tester of slang.
If this man had an overcoat it was
hung up somewhere, but the dusty con
dition of his rather thin frock coat,
which carried the polish on its back that
table looking shoes, justified the conclu-
fion that he was not finding an overcoat
necessary tbis winter, lie was a spare
man, with a gaunt face, crossed by a
white mustache stained at the ends with
tobacco juice. His shirt was not clean,
and he showed a good deal of it, but he
wore a white tie, which only added em
phasis to his otherwise forbidding lack
of neatness. When he moved away
from his place against the wall to meet
a member of congress who had come out
of the chamber upon the call of one of
the doorkeepers to see him, his gait was
a slouching one, and he might have been
mistaken for any other loafer about the
hall if he had not been so much more re
pulsive than the others.
My friend was disappointed. He
could not understand when I told him
that this man was one of the best of the
lot of lobbyists about the Capitol, that
he had been a member of congress, that
he was, therefore, entitled to the privi
lege of the floor, and that the house of
representatives has never yet had the
sense to makes its rules so strong as to
keep out this man
and severalothers
i'nst like him who are well known to be
othingmore than strikers and lobl3ists
who linger here to pick up odd jobs to
help them hang on to a miserable exist
ence. They do not, one ought to be
thankful, thrive as they are popularly
supposed to do. If the public knew what
a mistake the professional lobbyist is
they would be driven to sawing wood or
working on the railroads, or into doing
some other useful and laborious busi
ness. Then I showed my friend another lob
byist. This was a thin, sliding fellow,
with a gray close lieard, who toed in as
he walked quickly along the passage,
and who glanced furtively about as he
went, as if watching to touuee down
ujoii some one. This man was not an
ex-memlier of congress: but he hail
been an employee of the house many
years ago, and had lieen caught taking
money to enable a corjoration to reach,
through the door of which he had
charge, the men who were to be pur
chased to get through a subsidy bill.
He was dismissed, and ho at once went
i into the service of the corporation that
had led to his disgrace.
Y He is in that employment still, and he
associates with a great man senators
and representatives who do not know, or
have forgotten that others know, his
odious historv. He is an errand runner
and a sneaking watcher of members
who are to be encouraged to vote this
way or the other on bills to be reported
or killed. He would buy a memlier
without hesitation if it were safe to buy
him, but he is cautiotis. He finds out
his venal man before taking any risks.
He is not ingenious, nor is he bold. He
follows the instructions of the corpora
tions that keep him here, and he gets off
in the course of the year very well in
deed if he does not get kicked out of a
gentleman's house more than half a
dozen times.
The female lobbyist is, generally
speaking, a myth. The women who
-come to the Capitol as promoters of the
bills for pensions or f or claims, come on
their own account, and the only skill
they exhibit is that which consists in so
persistently bothering the members who
have introduced their bills for them that
they undertake to have them passed in
order to get rid of terrible afflictions.
The marvelous woman of charming
manners that cannot be resisted is to be
found only in the syndicate stories. The
women who undertake to promote legis
lation are, almost without exception,
bunglers and failures. Few women
know enough about the ways of legisla
tion or the ways of the legislators to
qualify them to undertake lobby work
or to approach members to direct their
actions, except by the most vulgar spe
cies of blackmail made possible by con
tributory immorality.
Generally speaking, the lobbyist is a
fraud and an unnecessary nuisance. He
exists mainly because most people do
not know anything about the methods
ef legislation, and because nearly every-
body interested in a bill not public be
" lieves that the lobbyist is a creature who
-yean tide over difficulties and remove
them. As a rule the employment of one
of the throng of disreputable lobbyists,
.and most of them are disreputable on
their faces, is prejudicial to the legisla
tion they are employed to promote.
They thrive on account of the general
ignorance about the legislative methods
.of procedure. Washingson Cor. Provi
lence Journal.
Hreaker Ahead.
"Yes, I shall embark on the sea of
latrimony myself before long."
"Then you'll soon le a-marryin her.
ron't your Kate Field's Washington. .
j ReceMeetioaa of Oxford.
My not being at a public school has, I
have no doubt, strengthened my love of
my university and my college. In my
time the "head masters had not had
everything their own way. It was pos
sible to enter Oxford at the age of nine
teen it was nothing wonderful to get a
scholarship before eighteen or even
i earlier still. And to be? scholar and fel
low of Trinity from 141 to 18-17 was
something to lo. It w;is indeed a circle
to look back to of which fifty years ago I
' was chosen a memlier, a circle of which a
j man is much to be blamed if he is not
j wiser and nobler for having been one.
But love of the foundation, the feeling
of membership, of brotherhood, in an
ancient and honorable body, the feeling
of full jjossession in one's college as a
I home, the feeling of personal nearness
I to a benefactor of past times, all that
gathers round the scholarship that was
! something worthier than a mere prize,
the fellowship that was something
worthier than a crammer's wages all
this, I hope, has not even yet utterly
l vanished, but under the hands of one re
forming commission after another, such
' feelings have undoubtedly greatly weak
ened in the Oxford to which I have come
'. beck.
In the tinreforxned university, the nn-
reformed college in which I had the
happiness to spend my youth, we had
time to learn something, because .we
were not always being taught. We
were not kept through' oar whole time.
i Texed by examination after examination.
! fafun1?d thu 8bject n? m
. . . r , . . .. ' . ... .
one thing before the next was taken in.
We had one examination, and a search
ing one, the successful passing of which
could not seem to any but a fool to be
the goal of study, but which, by the
reading it required, gave a man the best
possible start for study in several
branches of knowledge. Edward A.
Freeman in Forum.
A Question to Puzzle Over.
He was a "likely" looking Afro-American,
and as he boarded the elevated
train at Twenty-eighth street attracted
no small amount of attention. He be
took himself to one of the cross seats,
facing the rear of the car. As he set
tled himself comfortably, one of the
two male passengers seated opposite
said to his companion in what was
evidently intended to be an undertone,
but which was nevertheless plainly au
dible, "Do your people permit colored
folks to ride in first class compartments
i in I,ubHc conveyances?" What the re-
ply to the question may have been will
never be known. As for the occasion of
the query, he did not betray by so much
as the movement of a muscle or the
quiver of an eyelash that he had over
heard what had been said.
But just before Bleecker street was
reached he straightened himself up and
addressed the inquirer. "Dis yere ain't
no question of the Fiftyent' 'inend
ments," he said. "I knows right plain
dat me and my race has all de rights ob
de white peoples to ride in dese yer
keers so long as we got de money and
"haves ourselves. So dat ain't de ques
tion. But what I would like to have
you gemmens tell is dis, How kin a man
be colored when he's born so?"
And as he stalked out of the car the
passengers ail looked at one another and
wondered if they had been given a new
problem in stcio-political economy to
puzzle over. New York Times.
Where "Red Tape" Counts.
Said one of the oldest and most suc
cessful legal practitioners of the city bar
to one of his rising young students a short
time ago: "My dear young fellow, never
fail to remember that in the successful
career of a lawyer there is no one item
so important to his reputation as 'red
tape.' You may smile at this remark,
but it is as true as Holy Writ, and the
proper use of it in binding up a legal
document has saved many a court paper
from being handed back for perfection
or revision to its legal sponsor. In ear
lier life I practiced in the court of one
of the most particular judges in thi.
commonwealth. I presented, as I be
lieved, a well prepared report which 1
asked for confirmation, and to my sur
prise the judge unfolding it and looking
it over found a hundred and one fault
and directed me to prepare another one,
"but in better form,' as he said. I was
utterly nonplussed.
"My time was so limited it was utter
ly impossible. An idea struck me. That
night in my office I put on a showy out
side wrapper, with a hand indorsement
of the title, with the most liberal supply
of the widest red tape that I could find
in graceful bows. The next morning T
nervously presented it again. The judge
received it smiling, adding: -That is the
correct way all papers .for the court
should be drawn .up.'.. There's nothing
like red tape. .Philadelphia Press.
The Governor's Qallla.
The governor of this commonwealth
signs every bill with a quill. This isn't
because he is fonder of that particular
kind of pen, but it is rather in obedience
to a well established custom that has ob
tained with the chief magistrates of the
last decade. There are always a few
members of the legislature that have the
collector's passion, and requests are
regularly received by Private Secretary
Roads from lawmakers and others for
pens that the governor has .used for
signing bills. Accordingly dozens of
these quills are purchased ever so often,
and the governor makes his signature
each time with a new pen, which is
carefully preserved and set aside for the
next quill hunter that calls. Boston
Globe.
It is said that the manifestly corrupted
word, "isinglass," owes its change from
a foreign to its English dress to the pop
ular fancy, which, finding the Dutch
term, huizenblas" (sturgeon bladder),
meaningless in English, quietly changed
it into "isinglass" and secured its easy
remembrance from association with the
"icing" purposes for which it is used
and the "glassy" appearance it presents.
Chambers Journal.
AN ODD KIND OF CLUB.
IT RESEMBLES A FULL. FLEDGED
TELEGRAPH COMPANY. '
An Amateur Organization, the Member
of Which Have Their Houses Connect
ed by Wires, So That They Mar Com
moBicstnwIth Each Other by Telegraph.
One of the most novel or unique or
ganizations in Brooklyn is one that has
recently gained a new lease of life
through the infusion of new and vig
orous blood and by a thorough reorgan
ization. It is called the Phenix Morse
Telegraph club, and is perhaps the only
one of its kind in the United States.
The old organization was formed in
187'J ana started in me under the name
of the Phenix club. It was inaugurated
by a number of young people, some of
whom were engaged in occupation as
telegraphers, and others of different vo
cations, who took pleasure in studying
the mysterious language of dots and
dashes. A. private telegraph line was
established and connected with the res
idences of the members. A busy wire
it was too. The hum of conversation
if it can be termed such, was constant
throughout the evening. Stories were
passed over the electrical current, jests
and jokes bandied, chess and checkers
played by individuals who liked this
sort of recreation, and in fact as good
a time was usually passed as if the mem
ben were brought in contact with each
other by person in one room.
Jokes of an innocent character were
also carried on over the circuit, which
had the advantage in so far as to allow,
the perpetrator to remain unknown or
making it unnecessary to flee from the
wrath of the person upon whom it was
inflicted. Quite a number of these are
stock property among the old members.
who relate them to friends with as much
gusto and enjoyment as if they had oo-
curred only yesterday. One of these is
to the effect that two members after
practicing with another in the early
evening, during which the sender trans
mitted the Morse characters as fast as
he could, or as telegraphers would say
"rushed" the receiver, notwithstanding
the protests of this unfortunate disciple
of America's noted inventor. The latter
promised himself that a speedy revenge
would follow, and sought to find some
means whereby he could make tht,
"rusher" as uncomfortable as he had
been previously.
The practicing finally came to an end,
and the receiver waited until an un
earthly hour of the morning, when he
supposed his victim had gone to bed and
when the click of a sounder would strike
the gloom and quiet with the distinct
ness of a blow from a trip hammer. At
about 3 o'clock in the morning he went
to the instrument and began to call his
victim in a manner which would indi
cate that a fire had perhaps broken out
or that the transmitter had serious need
of aid in some dire calamity. He called
in this furious style until he had awak
ened the sleeper, who jumped up out of
bed and went to the instrument, ex
pecting to hear that something dreadful
had happened. He answered the call
quakingly. His indignation can le hn
agined when the query came slowly and
distinctly:
"Will you please tell mo the time; my
clock has run down."
His answer is not recorded, hut it is
safe to assume that the immediate vicin
ity became as warm as a hot box of an
overheated wheel.
The organization went on in the even
tenor ot its wav until two or three vearo
ago, when it began to languish, partly
on account of a defection of members
who inoved away from the city or be
cause the remaining persons would not
shoulder in the proper or necessary man
ner the worry and expense of conduct
ing such and organization. Then came
another club which was purely social
in its character and which was also
called the Phenix club. It may have
been that the similarity of names caused
a bond of friendship to be established
or that some of the members of this
body were capable of handling a key
and working the electrical current.
However this may be, the two organ
izations were amalgamated and a new
order of affairs brought about thereby.
The name was changed to the present
one, and under which it started out with
bright and prosperous auspices.
A flat, corner of Marcy avenue and
Fulton street, has been made the head
quarters of the club, and which may be
termed the main office of this amateur
telegraph company. Here are located
the battery room, which furnishes the
powerful fluid by which the wire is
worked, and another, which is called the
operating room, in which are placed four
sets of instruments and a double practic
ing, outfit. A galvonometer, whereby
the wire is measured, so that the where
abouts of any trouble on the line can be
detected, is also included in this space.
Meetings and social gatherings are held
in a larger room running off from this
one. Eighty cells of battery work the
circuit, which covers a distance of near
ly eighteen miles in this city, mainly in
the upper residence section.
The old "string" was overhauled by
an experienced lineman recently and
put in sufficiently substantial shape in
order to enable it to more readily resist
the wear and tear of a line in a large
and busy city. The circuit is placed
along the housetops on the route, and
trouble of any kind or, as an operator
would say, "bugs" are rarely met with
or experienced. Twenty-three so called
"offices" are on the circuit, all of which
have their calls in the same manner as
do the stations of a telegraph company.
Among the present members of the
dub are practical telegraphers of skill
Md records for sending and receiving.
Considerable rivalry exists between
them, and it is proposed at some future
time to have a tournament for fast trans
mitting and also for skill and ability in
receiving the Morse characters. Classes
will be established in order to give every
one a chance. One of the fastest senders
in the country is the secretary of the or
ganization, Mr. Frank L. Catlln. Brook
lyn Eagle.
Catholic- ht. Paul' Church. aV. between
Fifth ami -aUUw Father t'auiey, I'aMor
Hervicea : Mawtnt h i-nu 10 :3 a. m. Sunday
School at z ::u, rtt b iedicti)u..
CHHWUN.-t ciiH I..T11&1 and hllith Ms
servient ii't-rtmii? j lid -vei 1 : i A
(ial way .sIm Zinnia) 4i-iinl la, m.
Kpih'.'OI'ai..- Si, l.uk-'s tiun-li. roiiier 1 liird
ami V in-. l-v It It I'-urnfK' artor Ser
vices : II a. M a l 7 l m Miinlat School
at 2 :30 r. .v.
(iKli.MAN Mh'Tllol !M - . Ilu-l MXII. M HllU
iranit" l( v. illit. I iMi.i. IV : 11 A M.
ami 7 !. m. Siiini-n ;! i-i in m
I'h t SHVI l I v . - t"t..
in-r Si 1 1 ;i i 1 1 . i . i ii-
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Sahhxili -v-!.i " at ' ii. 'I. I ns. int i of
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KlKKT M I Hi l-lr- I . -f , I il i - n AlHlU
ami I'i ail. );-v i. 1' i.n i I . . iiaxlor.
Service-" : 11 a m. h m i;r '. -H"-ol
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Al-lttle 'irls Experience in a LigUt
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