x V i i A Everything 5 to Furnish Your -House. PEARLMAN'S 4 r. , I I 4. V -GREAT MODERN- HOUSE FURNISHING EMPORIUM. 1 vin rvirchrisocl the J. V. Weckbach store room on Bouth 1 tin street where I;im now tlfcmthc heaH!t having jiwt put in tne largest block new i.vit brought to the citr. Gasoline store d furniture of all kinds sold WILL KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HANI A Full and Complete line ef mgs, Medicines, Paints, and Oils. 1 ; DRUGGISTS SUNDRIES AND PURE LIQUORS 'inscriptions Caivfnlly Compounded at all Hours. Circulation Large, Rates Reasonable, Returns Remunerative PI ATTSMOUTH HERALD (. eaawiaK-ji-. r - ' -1 ' I ' . . - 1 (lgl cItt Special seel to ieqcl fqiriilies tongl) oqt t1!6 county- bk. B. KNOTT BUSINESS 801 Cor Fifth 1 5LATTSMOUTH FOR SALF OR cjOrv ACRES of Colorado land for CJasVy estate or for merchandise of any kind. This if a bargain for jr some one: the land i- Al. For further particular call on or address? THK HEKALD, Plattsmouth. Neb. 11 THE POSITIVE CURE. B.T BBOTHIRS. M Warra T?Sk Chicheste'r'S English.- Red thc mciML 4ND UNUINC. Larflea. a Drutn.i iMkuivi JIm - 1U li fMm torn. i ifK 4. la aumsa l BMMtM. IIIIIHII - located can sell goods cheap on the installment plan. I. PEARLMAN. - a aaaaamMBaaaaisaawaaaass) 1 u 1 v n 1 A VclV qci- 3IANA6EB. and Vine St. . - NEBRASKA EXGHMGI sale or trade for Plattsiiioutli real- 8U, New Tor. PriosMeU Cross TDuhomd 8amd Ta Mil awn. Item, mmi nklli far aala. a tt4 mad' .u& mnmlMt " 4Mm wMHMUi Ai Wl TlAwf far Lbl M IiiWii AID oiiioro.St tr. wkk Zmurea Safety f , ZAfeof Mother mn4 Child. " MOTHER'S FRIEND " ' Jtobm Comflnemrnt vf its . j ., JUorrvr arul IlUic ' Aftni'lii'''n.'botilt ol " Sioiocr'n E't-lrnd"! u3 ?r'il out .Ittli! ;:im..-.nii not ep'riMnoi that wwknnu afterward uaual id i.urn ca.se. Mrs. Amnik Gaoi:, Ulnar, Mo.. Juu. I5lb, LI. 8nt hy exprcus. charyo prrpaiil. on receipt of price, l.Upet I Kittle. DH,t &Iulbr.rsinatleU Ire. 1BADFIELO nKKLL.lTOIt CO., ATLANTA. CA. BOLD BY ALL UilDOUISTS. QUMKLY. 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Novor fails to give instant relief in tha worst! oases, antl euevu eurcn wncre otacrm i Mil. i Trial rmeka FItEE of OnurrMs or fcr I 14draa DR. R. 80HIPFMANN, St Psnl. Hlira. I PATEliVlTS nDOOIIDCTfiSend for Pamphletand Referencea rnUUUnk;USewardA.Haseltine& 3rp.SoliciUn Of Araencsu a KureiKD i'slv nts and Atturnev 8 1 n Patent cans Uawwiata al Washington, I).C) Springfield. MissonrU Ointznent. A certain cttre for Chronic Sore Eyes Tetter, Salt Bheom,. Scald Head, OL Chronic Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema, Itch, Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples and Pile. It la cooling and soothing. Hundreds of cases have been cared by It after all other treatment had failed, it is put op in 25 and 60 cent boxes. BO'LIHG WATER OR MILK. E.P PS'S GRATKUL- COMFORTING DG A Labeled 1-2 lb Tins Only. T)V I (IJitlVOrsan'. Pianos. $33 tip. Catalogue Don! 1 1 Free. Ianiel K. Beatty Washington I a. J, NESSHi0SOlCURED by Pack's lnible Takalsr Kar Cmim- WhUpera burd. Coatfortsbl. csfalwh.r.aJlr'wil,fall. 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Consultation in person or by mail. Expert treat ment. IN YIOLABLE SECRECY and CER TAIN CURE. Address Dr. W. H. Parker, or The Pcabody Medical Inatitnte, No. 4 Bblllnch St.. Boston, Mass. The Peabody afedical Institute has many imi tators, but no equal. Herald. The Science of Life, or Self-Preserration, is a treasure) more valuable than uwld. Read It now. every WEAK and NERVOUS man. and tears te 1 t-l , . , Sanset Oosfjn 1MSO. The- first time I ever r Samuel SLlliran Cox. known -as Sunset Cox vraa in 1850." said Thorua Kuick to a tit. Louia' Chronicle reporter. ... "I was then 'superintendent of' bridges on the national turnpike in Onto and Cox was making a tour of' taverns on the road delivering political speech 8. . , ,. . . "The turnpike in those days was the " great highway between the Kast and : the West. It was thronged night and day with teams from every part of Ohio, and country taverns, with big wagon yards, were located ten miles , apart. ; "Every night these taverns were crowded with teamsters and travelers and Cox spoke at every one of them, beri lining at the Indiana line and end ing at the Pennsylvania border. "Mr. Cox was a young slip of a fellow with realdudisb ways, bu$ his speech es were so inexpressibly funny that he captured the hearts of the rough team sters, who carried his fame to every part of tho state, aud as long . as he lived .: they were always his solid friends. "Ex-Governor Allen once made a tour of those taverns and made friends that stood by him for years, and I have no doubt but that that influence 6till existed and aided in electing him gov ernor thirty years later." HUMAtt NATURE. A Hearties Man Trill e with it and Has) a Little Uuiet Fen. There was a man at the Wabash depot, the other afternoon who took a $5 bill out of h!d vest pocket and I spread it out on his knee antl attentive- ly examined it. Then he took it over to the window and held it to the pane ' of glass and examined it still more critically. Then he wr-nt back to his seat and s;iid to the man on his right, who had become much interested, to gether wild half :v dozen others. '"Well tliey s -V there has -jT'it to be a first time with everybody, but I ihouoht I h:vl 1 i:i veiled l'.if enough to cut in v c e te.'i ii." (iol isiu.-k, , ii'.e:-i.' 1 the other, as he re:. Ii 'd f.r t!v' Li'1. "WeU. yon are not, so much to blame. That bill is pretty well ;rrtten tn."' uYes. fairly well, but f"el of it. Does it f.-el li.e u g-iiuiije yreeiiback to you ?'' "X o. it doesn't, thru-h I should never have slopped to fe-d of it. I can see how that it is roiigher :r.d coarser." "They might h;ve pae;; that oil on me in the night." aid a second man who took i, the bill, ' ,:! never by daylight. I should have spotted it at Once." "Pretty well execute.!, isn't it?" que?ied the owner. "1 don't think so. The inks used were not tirst class, and the printing is bad. I could tell it was queer, even if held out at arm's length." Counterfeit, eh?" said the third man. as he took the bill in hi hands. "Wall, now, 1 call that pooty well done. I'd a taken that bill anywhar1 fur a good one." "If somebody didn't take 'em fer good," said a man with a pair of steel bowed spectacles on, a he joined the group, "the counterfeiters couldn't make a living. There are plenty of yahoos still alive." Are you callin' me a yahoo?" de manded the third man. "I'm only speaking in a general way. I'd have spotted that bill among a thousand. Just one look at the back of it is enough for me. Where'd you get it?" "Can't tell," solemnly replied the owner. "You ought to be more careful." "Yes, 1 know." "What are yon going to do with it?" "I think I'll try and pass it off on some one. Let's See if the ticket man will drop to it." i He advanced to the widow, bought a ticket for a town fifty miles down the road, and the ticket man pulled in the bill made change like .chain light ning. Twenty people were watching, and each drew a long breath and opened his eyes. The owner of the bill coolly pocketed the change and ticket and calmly sat down and open ed a newspaper and began to read. It was some time before the crowd tum bled to the fact that it had been guy ed. Then one by one, they sneaked around or went out for fresh air. All but one. It was the man who re sented being called a yahoo. He went over to the joker with a grin on his face, slapped him on the back in a hearty way, and said: "It was a good joke, aud it's jest such adventures as this that make travellin' around all-tired pleasanter to me! Come out and have some lemonade!" Detroit Free Press. Modern Witchcraft in Salem. During a recent rainstorm in Salem, Mass., electricity placed some queer pranks at Porter's market, says the Portland Tivnscript. On the roof of the building is a clothes-line. During the storm a towel blew from this line and tod get I upon-an electric-lighting wire below. Being wet. it wound around the wire and the electricity passed through it and shot down into the ground, where it came in contact with the water-pipes leading into tLo building. It ran ah'iiir the pipe ami the tirst tli i n ir it eiieoiintered in the basement was a pt f hot lard, which was tioil inir on the stove. The lard was illu minated and the young man in charge thought it must be burning. lie started to remove it from the tove v.iid receied a hoek that enl liiru against the basement walls. Pale with fright.he ruhed up-stairs, where a fellow-workman, noting his pallor, reached for the water-faucet to get a glass of water. No sooner -had he touched the faucet than he had oc casion to pick himself up from a far corner of the room. For a few moments everything seemed turned into an electric bat tery. The nails in the wall became red", electricity flew from the water-1 pipes and flashed around the bands on the water-pails. At length some one found the cause of the trouble and the towel was removed. ! il i ll T M . ! ACE 0F Ab3KEVbrVTI0NJ II 2j i V It Cause the HaJl Man to Klajh, bat the j Khort Man Coughed. ' "This," a!d the lall man oontem- I (datively, "appears to be, at least o ' ar as New York city in concerned, an age of abbreviations. Everything is abbreviated, even time, and I may say that id the' -case' especially. In the pay-; ment of notes the time is always too -short." "May I ask," aid the short. roan, "what has suggested to you this trend of thought?" rThat," said the , tall man, and he pointed to the advertise ment of a theater on which, after the names of the play and the star, was this mysterious announcement: "Ev'gs. Mats. Wed. Sat." "There." went or the tall man. "is a sample of one ftyla of abbreviations. I can not but tmuk that that advertisement must be a source of weariness to the foreigner who is studying our language ami who attempts, as all of them do, to read the signs as he walks along the street. 1 How in the world s he to know that it means that performances are gifen in the- evening and at Wednesday ami Saturday matinees? It certainly does not say so." . . "That's, so," said the short man. ' "At the opera one night, I remember, a countryman and his wife sat behind me. The names of the ballet dancers were printed on tho bill as 'Mile-' So; and So and 'Mile.' So and So. The countryman, after reading the bill says to his wife: '"This is funny, ' Mary; the front names of all these gals is Mifly." j "Yes," fall the tall man. "It's very nrluieadinsr. But it's not only words that are abbreviated. Nearly every thing is abbreviated. Take the pa tience of my landlord, for instance; that is abbreviated. And I was paiued . to notice this morning that the trou sers of my youngest son are abbrc- ' viated. Everything, u, fact, seems to , tie abbreviated, except my appetite." He sighed. "Cheer up," said the short ! man. "I'll cough." They rose from their seats in the i lobby of the hotel and walked toward the doors tin one of which was the word "Pull" and on the other the word "Push." With one accord they pushed on the pull door ami then pulled on the push door. Both swore, tried it again, succeeded, and disappeared. . f. llt.rahl. Grasshopper's Ijes in ICye. Dr. Baldwin say: "Oe day a rail road engineer eame into my olliee in great pain. He had a bandage ever his righ eye. 'I am suffering fright fully, doctor.1 he said, 'with my eye. There is something in it. I was run ning my engine at a high rate of speed, w ith my head out of the cab rvindow, looking down the track to see that there was no obstruction. I passed througha lot of grasshoppers, and one of them struck me in the eye.' I ex amined the man's eye, and, sure enough, the legs of the hopper had penetrated the poor fellow's eye and were giving him great pain. Th eaw-like legs had almost completely tilled up the eye. I placed him under the influence of ether ami began the operation of extracting the grasshop per's legs. After a tedious job I suc ceeded in removing the impediment, and thv man got well without his sight being affected." Ulolte - Deiiu oral. fhe American Joke. "America." said Darweesh to one of the ladies, "must be a line place and very like Egypt. You have corn, to bacco, watermelons and a big river tahere." : "And crocodiles, too," she replied. Wallah!" he cried in admiration; then, with a slight touch of jealousy that these blessings should be scatter ed broadcast, he added: "Do they eat men?" "No, only dogs," she admitted. "Ah!" he returned, exulting in the superior gastronomic taste of the Egyptian saurian, "ours eat men!" "Of course yours will not eat dogs; they are Moslem crocodiles," she answered, referring to the Mohamme dans1 avoidance of the dog as an un clean animal. As one of the most lovable charac teristics of the Arab is his instant and intense appreciation of the feeblest joke, says a writer in &cribncr$, Dar weesh seemed much amused and re peated with many chuckles. "Ours are Moslem crocodiles," as he went about his daily work. The KiTers of the Great American Oexert. The few rivers of the American desert are as strange and as treacher ous as its winds. The Colorado is the only large stream of them all, and the only one which behaves like an ordina ry river. It is always turbid and gets its Spanish name, which means the "Eed." from the color of its tide. The smaller streams are almost in variably clear in dry weather; but in a time of rain the- become torrents not so much of sandy water as of liquid sand! T have seen them rolling down in freshets with waves four feet high which seemed simply sand in flow; and it is a fact that the bodies of those who are drowned at such times are almost never recovered. The strange river buries them forever in its own $and. Vll these rivers have heat!.-: Hut hard ly one of them has a mouth! Theo rise in the mountains on the edge' of some happier land, flow away out into the desert, making a green gladness where their waters toueli. and finally are swallowed up forever byithe thirs ty sands. The Mojave, for instance, is a beautiful little s-treani. clear as crystal through the summer, only a foot or so in depth but some two hun dred feet wide. It is lift v or sixty miles long, ami it upper valley is a narrow paradNe. green with tall grasses and noble cotton-woods that recall the stately elms of the Connecti cut Valley. But presently the grass gives place to barren sand-banks, the hardier trees, whose roots bore deep to drink, grow small and straggling; ami at last the river .dies altogether upon the arid plain, and leaves beyond as bare a desert as that which borders its bright oasis-ribbon on both sides. C. l I.miirii.t, in St. Xicholas. .. . t . UUUiliCIM Silk rt.s iiiIMms'i tM sCTh I Wlr e n' Kjefi. , The constantly increainr near ightedness'nmong school-children, and the very general need ami - u - of - glasses.ought to suggest to us whether or not we are hullleiently careful of the conditions affectjng, the. ye of , the young. Do we see to it thai the liook! they read and those they study are at lear and large type, - requiring no Straining or forcing of the vision; ami" do wo encourage a large and open script for their handwriting? Do we see to it that our school-house are built with a view to the falling of the light in the right way for the children's safety? Do wo have the lights at home so regulated that no bla.e shall pro duce blindness ami no dimness make eight difficult? Do wc make sure that the child hold his book at the distance which gives a correct focus, that he holds his body properly in relation to his book or work, that lie looks oft fre quently, thus changing the character of the demand on the eye, and that h is not allowed to continue long in any effort requiring the too intent use of his eyes? Do we keep ourselves on th lookout, too, for the tirst indication of feebleness or strain, in order that arti ficial aids may be resorted to in nea on to prevent any positive evil? That precaution in all these directions is wise is evident from the fact, ii we look for it, that in thoe living what might be called the natural life- that is, without books or fine work there is very little trouble with the eyeav where the conditions of good boifily health otherwise are maintained. Of ctjur.se, wiiere there are unclean methods of life, like those in crowded Oriental cities, ophthalmia of various degrees is to be expected; but the free roaiucr of t he desert, the dweller of the forest, the sailor on the seas, they Mio oxygenate the Mood in constant currents of fresh air, and live wild lives that train the eyesight upon far distances, have little or no trouble with that eyesight. Tie? eyeless lisli of dark-underground lakes are ; per petual example of the. atrophy that takes place through iiou-u-.e ,f an organ; but just as falal an atrophy eau result from iis over-use -that is, from undue strain and elV irt and too much attention cannot be given to the pre vention of such possibilities. We may hate to put. glasses on the fair freu faces of children, but their fut lire com fort is of more importance than the pride of our eyes in them ; and it may be a biirth n to give the constant over sight that the prevt ntioii requires in other directions, but as we chose to assume that burden in the beginning, wc have no right to shirk one of its ri sponsibiliiies, and there is none of the physical responsjbililiesof more weight than the care of their eyes. urjjrrs linzar. a. i. r W A 1'iiir I'xehaiiye. In one of the big up-towu boarding houses they are talking about :i cer tain married lady who sal on her hubby's knee the other night and strok ed his side whiskers so tenderly that he blurted out : "Well, go ahead. What is it? A new hat?,r "(), no. you old darling. It's a sur prise I've got in store for you." "How much does it cost?". "O, who cares about the cost? It's the sentiment of the thing." "All right; let's have the sentiment." "Well, you see, you never wear those neckties I give you every Christmas, and it isn't fair that I should have all the benefit and you none, so I've made a change this year and got you a pair of slippers." "That's very lind." "I knew you'd appreciate it and want to give me something in return, so I though I'd arrange a surprise for you and 1 went and got something real nice in return." "Ah, you did, eh? What is it?" "A beautiful diamond bracelet." "Jehosaphat! A thousand dollars?" "O, more. Twenty-live hundred. You are surprised!" If he wasn't the people in the next room were when they heard the lan guage he used. San Francisco Chroni cle. Married a IVrfect Stranger. In the diaries of the late Mr. Cope, R. A., published by Bentley & Son, the following story is given as told by his sister-in-law: "She met a farmer friend and said to him: 'I hear, John, that you're lately married; who is your wife?' 'Week, Miss Benning, I doan't quite know.1 'How so? Where did you meet with her?' 'Aweel, ye see, miss, I went t' market, ami as I was going I seed a canny lass warking along t' road, and I says: "Will ye git oop and ride?" "Ay," says she. "So she gat oop," and I asked her: "Are ye gangin' to t' market?" "Aye," says she. "What for?" says L "To git a plaace," says she. So I .set her down i' t' market and left her, and as I com" back i' t1 evening there was this same lass warking t' saame way oop hill. So I spak' to her again and axed her: "Ha1 you gotten yer plaace?" "Nay"," says she. "I hanna." "Will ye git oop aud ride?'' "Aye." says she. So she. got oop ami I axed her: "D've think inv plaace would -uit What plaace is that, -ays she. hy.to be my ife," sa s I. "i doan't mind," rays sue. o we got wed. and site's a rare good wife, but she's a parfecfc etraanger to me."' f.oi'l''i Xew.s. M ll lllerri in Soll- "Say. Danny, it's tough on ousO te-u-ter blokies. an't it?" was the greet ing which recently met a loudly ulster ed member of the variety "profesh" a he .supplemented his morning "draw one" ami "stack of wheats" with a. classic pose on the Bower house cor ner. "What's eaten" ycr. my funny friend?" was the haughty response. "Come, now yer don't mean to say yer haven't heard de news? Why, the Grand army men all over the country have signed der pledge to give variety shows ther cold shake." "Say. is this on ther dead level?" gasped the ulster edone. "Yer bet it be." "But why?" "Oh on account of -Comrades1 Lein' murdered everv night 6ee?" He saw. X. Y. IWrabl. - i