)
7
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A Modem Parable.
An old Arab about to did railed his
three ions to his bedside in order to
make known to them bin last wishes
"As a legacy, he said, "I bequeath to
you the three objects before you an
old rup, a saucepan and a stick." And
when his sons protested amiinst the
paltry value of their patrimony the
hick man went on to hay: "in t you
make a mistake; these three bequents
are more valuable than you think
Thus, the rug has the marvelous prop
erty of conveying through space, as
quick as thought anyone who sits 111
on it and directs it where to tro. The
saucepan, like a cornucopia, is filled
at a moment's notice with any kind of
food its owner may desire. In strik
ing the ground with the stick you can
produce as many jewels and precious
stones as you may. wish for. Divide
the three talismans among you."
Not being able to agree as to the
distribution of the bequests, the three
brothers called in the aid of an arbi
trator.
"I see how It is," said the latter,
"each of you would like to have the
whole of the paternal heritage fo him
self." 1
"Just so!" the three brothers an
swered in chorus.
"Well, then, this is what I propose.
You shall comete for it. The first
of you that gets to that tree yonder
shall be proclaimed solo heir and may
dispose of the three talismans.
At a given signal the three started
off to run. At the same moment the
obliging arbitrator snatched up the
.tick aud saucepan, seated himself on
the rug and disappeared.
The heritage is Cyprus. The three
brethren are France, Italy and Uus-
tua. Lngland is the arbitrator.
DeutscJie Uumlsehnu.
Humble but Successful Author.
ine men wno make ine most money
by their pens are not always known to
f.ime. The periodicals that pay the
highest priees for fiction and special
articles are not those that give the
writer a reputation in the. world of let
ters. I haVe a friend who makes $10,-
O) a year writing stories of adventure
for a sensational weekly. He is a poet
of no mean abilily, ami w hen he feels
that he would like a little applause he
Bends a poem to some leading maga
zine. Only his most intimate friends
know that "I'endragon." of the Youth's
Weekly Thrill, is the long-haired, romantic-looking
man who listens at the
Authors Club to the flattery of those
who think that the highest success in
life consists in having a joem printed
in the Century, Jlarjjer's or Scribncr's.
Auother man I know gets sf:2o a thou
sand words from a weekly that is read
in thonsands of kitchens throughout
tho country. He is a highly educated
man, but he must earn his living. He
makes at least $K.00J a year. He was
recently ottered a college prefessorship
at a salary of $2.50d. But he could not
afford it. These men will never go
down to posterity as great novelists,
but, to use a vulgar expression, they
get there all the same. Pittsburg
Leader's N. Y. Letter.
Bamboo Cuts Are Painful.
A cut inflicted with a blade of grass
or a sheet of writing pajer is bad
enough, but the most digagreeable
wound that can be inflicted on the hu
man body is that nide with a strip of
bamboo. The outside of the bamboo
contains so much silex that it will cut
like a knife; in fact, the Chinese and
Japanese do make knives of it which
are cheap and for a time tolerably ef
fective. A cut made with a bamlxo is
exceedingly hard to heal and obstinate
ulcers are apt to result. Whether the
silex poisons the flesh or the bad con
sequences are due to the ragged wcund
is not certain, but anybody who has
cut his linger with a bit of cane or
torn his hand on a h'shing-rod will
have some idea of the unpleasant ef
fects of a cut with a bamboo sliver.
HI. Louis (f(Wf-CVy.T.
WIT AM) HUMOR.
Teacher "What is the feminine of
man?" Little ;irl "Iude." Brooklyn.
Life.
When a man hires a dress suit to go
on a tear he inn.it pay the rent.
Picayune.
Atlas was the tirst leading gentle
man. He supirted Karth in her great
roll. Puck:
Drinking to n friend's health is a bad
medicine for yiuir own. Binghauiton
Uejmbiirun.
Long prayers in church generally
make heaven seem a long way off.
Hum's Horn.
It will require more than nine tailors
to make a man of the average dude.
2'exas Sijliug.
Cupid is probably depicted as an
archer Wcause he is a beau ideal.
Washington Star.
One of the most difficult tilings to do
i to make a dimple of a wrinkle.
(lalveslon News.
The typewriter is said to be the only
woman a man has the right to dictate
t:. Boston Journal.
There's many a man who would run
awav if he did iut have t i.ikc himself
.t'otilT- '.'''''"'''""' Journal.
-So dark, and yet o light!" as the
man said when he looked at his new
ton of coal. Ih-aki Magazine.
Sometimes the farmer who goes into
politics ends by wishing he had raised
U-ss cain and more corn. Washington
Star.
The statesman that wants to feather
Lis nest has got to take care of the
geese that furnish the feathers. Texas
SijUngs.
Clara "O. I have so much to say to
vou." Maude "And I to you. Lt's
go to the opera tonight." Lifts
Cab tular.
"Are anv of the colors discernible to
the touch?" asked the sclnl teacher.
"I have often felt blue." replied the
Niy at the head of the cla. Brooklyn
J.if.
It is no trouble to increase the mem
bership of a church thar oens the door
v. ide enough to let a man get in with
out having to quit bis meanness.
I'ar s
Maade "Congratulate me, Clara;
I'm engaged." Clara "Well, you've
been mighty quick about it. Here it is
only the second week of leap year."
N. Y. Press.
A game of "living whist" was played
at Newburyport the other night. A
gentleman in each case played the
knave, but a lady playd the deuce.
Lowell Courier.
"i nevah eat mince pie." said Chap
pio. "Why not?" asked Hicks. "It
makes me dweam of my ancestahs.and.
between us, they were all twadesmen."
Life's Calendar.
Judge (after the jury has acted
against his judgment in acquitting a
man) "Give this man his liberty but
watch your coats and umbrellas."
Fliegende Blatter.
"It's too bad that Flipkins has been
sent to jail for selling liquor. What
shall we do for him" "Give him a
coming-out party when he is released."
Boston Gazette.
"Old Skinkins says he is laying up
riches in heaven." "Maybe he is, but I
don't believe there is much chance of
his putting in an appearance to collect
them.". Washington Star.
"Papa, why does the drum major of
a band wear that big thing on his
head?" "Because the natural size of
his head is not equal to the occasion,
my son." Baltimore American.
"I couldn't help getting mad. Now,
I appeal to you, if you were I wouldn't
you be angry?" "I don't know as I
would be angry, but if I were you I
should be inexpressibly sad." A'. Y.
Herald.
Sound is said to travel over seven
hundred miles an hour, yet we have
knowu the sound of a eat yawping on
the back fence to remain right in one
sjKit for live maddening hours. Boston
Courier.
"I had to be away from school yester
day," said Tommy. "Vou must bring
an excuse," said the teacher. "Who
from?" "Your father." "He ain't no
good at making excuses; ina catches
him every time." 'fid-Bits.
Mr. Slimpurse (hankering for a suit
of clothes on tick) "I aw presume
you are acquainted w ith my friend,
Mr. Nocash. He has a running ac
count here, I believe?" Tailor "Yes.
We do the running." N. Y. Weekly.
Man in wagon (who has bought an
unsound horse from the Quaker)
"No, I don't expect you to take him
back. I only want you to lend me
your hat and coat so that I can sell
him to somebody else." Harper's
Weekly.
Friend "I can't help wondering
why a man on your small salary should
give his affianced a cluster diamond
engagement ring." Mr. Smarttchapp
"That's so she won't slip it off and
leave it upstairs when the other fellows
call." Gooil News.
Mrs. Ililliare "You seem to get
along nicely on your alimony." Mrs.
Grasse "Yes, indeed. I used to so
hate asking my husband for pin money.
Now, when 1 see anything I like, I can
buy it without feeling I'm extra
vagrant." Epoch.
Lady of House (to Irish servant)
"Bridget, this is altogether too much;
you have a new follower in the kitchen
every week." Bridget "Well, ma'am,
ye see, the food in this house is so bad
that nobody'll come here for longer
than a week!" Tid-Dits.
Young Pnppette (interrupting the
general in the midst of the latter's
peroration) "Pardon me, general, but
would you be kind enough to give me
the exact date you began telling that
story?" The general (glaring)
"With pleasure, sir. It was in October,
1860 the same week that your grand
father took my measure for a pair of
boots." Trutli.
Waiter (to customer about to leave
the restaurant) "You've forgotten
something, haven't you?" Customer
"I sness not. I've got my overcoat.
cane,and hat. What have I forgotten?"
Waiter (extending his hand) "The
tip. if you please, sir." Customer "I
had a fowl dinner, didn't I?" Waiter
"Yes, sir." Customer "Well, ac
cording to the new base-ball rules there
are to be no more foul tips. Good-day."
Texas Sifting.
"That is Orpheus," said the young
man; "he was a wonderful musician.
He was such a forceful player as to
move trees and stones." "So?" replied
the old gentleman, looking at the
statue in a contemplative mood; "not
so bad; but yon never heard that cousin
of yours plaj She's only a little pun-
thing, but thev do sav she s made no
less than twenty whole families move,
and I guess it's no more'n the truth."
Boston Transcript.
Banjer (to boy) "Take this dress-
suit up to Wangle and give him this
note, lie will give you a fo bilbwhich
you fetch back to me. Boy goes and
returns. J Well, did vou get that fo
bill?" Boy "No, sir". He said to tell
you he couldn't spare it very well to
day, sir." Banjer "Then why in
thunder didn't you fetch back the
suit?" Boy "I couldn't very well.sir.
He put it on before he read the note."
Clothier and Furnisher.
Pete Fowler, although somewhat ad
dicted to drink, had considerable liter
ary taste. He was a great borrower of
books, but , he never returned any,
owing more to carelessness than to
anything else. His friends had fre
quently got him to sign the pledge,bii t
he invariably went back on it. He
was complaining one day to a friend of
his inability to keep his pledge, when
the latter said: "I'll tell you. Pete. how
you can keep your pledge." ""How can
I keep the pledge?" asked Pete, swing
ing helplessly to a lani-ost. "Easy
enough. The next time yon 1kitow a
book put the pledge in it. Then you'll
keep it for gid." Texas Sift tugs.
Moonshine Whisky.
Whisky made by moonshiners seldom
becomes a week old. and very often it
is drunk warm from the still, having
the effect of broken glass on the palate.
It is frequently adulterated, tobacco
being added to make it bite and rattle
weed to make it bead. In' the moon
shine districts almost everybody drinks
men and women, old and young and
the mountain boy on pleasure bent
carries a quart bottle of the stuff, a
package of snnff. and a six-shooter.
THE MUTUAL FRIEND.
Srwl rtr la tta Lovs-MaMa t
Koatn America.
All the love-making in South America
must be carried on through a third
person. If a youth desires to marry
he does not speak of it to the cirl
whom he wishes for a wife, but to his
own father. The latter, if he approves.
goes to the father of the young lady
and the two discuss the matter to
gether. Each tells the other what he
will do for the young folks, and be
tween them a contract - is drawn up
respecting settlements and all such
things.
The intending bridegroom is not
permitted to see bis nance tor a mo
ment oeiore tue weuaing. As soon as
that event has taken place there is i
wedding breakfast, and usually" with
out the formality of a preliminary
tour the couple settle down to living,
either in an establishment of their own
or more often in the house of the
parents of the bride or groom.
One drawback about marriage in
South America, says the Cincinnati
Commercial Oasette, is that in taking
a girl to wife it is apt to be considered
a matter of course that the young man
marries her whole family also. He
has no occasien for surprise or dis
gruntlement, if, together with the
bride, fifteen or twenty people come to
share bis household and domestic
comforts, including all her available
relations and their servants.
These Latins are a very clannish
race, and a father is apt to be willing
to adopt a raft of sisters and cousins
and aunts, not to mention a mother-in
law, rather than have his son or
daughter leave the family roof. It is
due to the strength of family attach
ments among them that hotels in
South America are only from strangers
from afar; the natives always find
hospitable entertainment among the
kindred.
Primitive Pipes.
In England the first pipes used
appear to have been made of clay with
narrow bowls and contracted mouths.
Then, as the habit grew stronger and
tobacco became cheaper, something
more capacious would be required.
These are the pipes winch, under the
name of "fairy pipes, are sometimes
dug up and preserved as interesting
relics of the past. Aubrey, writing about
1680, says: "They (The English peo
ple) first had silver pipes, but the ordi
nary sort made use of walnut shell and
straws. I have heard my grandfather
say that one pipe was handed from
man to man around the table. With
in these twenty-live years 'twas scan
dalous for a divine to take tobacco. It
was then sold for its wayte in silver. I
have heard some of our old yoemen
neighbors say that when they went to
market they culled out their biggest
shillings to lay in the scales against
tobacco; now the customers of it are
the greatest his majesty hath." It is
not generally known that the word
cutty, as applied to a species of clay
pipe very much used, is a corruption
of Kutaich, a city in Asia Minor, where
a species of soft white stone is found
which is exported to Germany for the
manufacture of tobacco pipes. All
the Year Round.
A Famous Poem.
Who is there that has not sung or
read or heard "The Old Oaken Buck
et" ? Many musical compositions have
been set to its lines and it has been
translated into many languages; it has
gone the rounds of the civilized world
lot more than two generations. And
how many know the name of the au
thor? He was Samuel Woodworth
and was born in Scituate, Plymouth
County, Mass., Jan. 13, 1785. He
came to Boston and chose the profes
sion of printer, binding himself to-Benjamin
Kussel, then editor of the Col
umbian Sentinel, with whom he re
mained until 1806, and while serving
his apprenticeship he contributed poe
try to the different periodicals then
published in Boston, under the signa
ture of "Seline." The only poem of
his which has survived is the "Old
Oaken Bucket," which he wrote while
editing the Mirror in New York with
George P. Morris. New England Mag
azine. In Ireland only one shamrock is
known. It is an indigenous species of
clover, which trails along the ground
among the grass in meadows. The
trefoilleaves are not more than one
fourth the size of t he smallest clover in
America, and are pure green in color,
without any of the brown shading of
white and pink clovers.
A Stoic's Solitary Wish.
A dear old lady who spends her sum
mers in Mackinac with her daughter,
and who used to visit the white house
when Andrew Jackson was president,
is one of the most charroingr of racon
teurs, says the Detroit Free Frtss.
Among the amusing incidents she tells
of her early days is this, which oc
curred at a dinner given at the house of
Gov. Floyd of Virginia, her native
state, where she ana her father were
guests: On this occasion the governor
wa dining a select party, among
whom were some French stoics who had
recently arrived in the country, and
whose heads, as became stoics, were as
bald as a billiard-ball. When the
dinner was in progress a servant
brought in the old Virginia batter
pudding, which is only in perfection
when served hot. It was hot this
time. When he attempted to pass it
over the head of one of the guests a
careless waiter "joggled his elbow and
the pudding collapsed on the shining
bald pate of the stoic. Being a stoic
he could make no outcry, but sat bolt
upright while the agitated servant
scraped off the unlucky pudding. The
sufferer made but one sotto voce re
mark, but it was distinctly audible to
the whole table. Said he: "I-v-i-s-h-I-v-a-s-h-i-n-h-a-l-e!"
A Domfstic Picture.
With a desire of giving her husband
a true picture of herself, a woman in
Atchison. Kan., had her photograph
taken as she appeared at daily'' house
work in her kitchen dress, with a
baby on one arm and broom and dust
pan'io the other.
Taken! Up.
. Taken tip at mf farm 2 mile
outh of Plattsmouth, Wednesday
Februry 3rd, one yearling heifer calf
and one yearling eteer calf, both red
marked with tip of left ear cut off
aud "V" cut on under side. Party
may have same by paying for ad
vertisement and proving owner
ship. Bbx P. Horning.
Bucklen's Arnica Salve.
The Best Salve in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum. Fever
Sores, Tetter, Chappe'd Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and posi
tively cures Piles, or no pay required.
It is guaranteed to give satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per box.
For sale by P. G. Fricke .
The Flrt tttep.
Perhaps you are run down, can't
eat, can t sleep, can't trunk, can t do
anything to your satisfaction, and
you wonaer wnat ana you. x ou
should heed the warning, you are
taking-the first step into nervous
nroatration. You need a nerve tonic
and in Electric Bitters you will find
the exact remedy for restoring your
nervous system to it normal, healthy
condition. Surprising results fol
low the use ot this great Nerve
Tonic and Alterative, Your appe
tite returns, good digestion is re
stored, and the liver and kidneys re
sume healthy action. Try a bottle
Price 50c. at F. G. Fricke & Co's
drugstore. 6
Do not confuse the famous Blush
of Rosea with the many worthless
paints, powders, creams and
bleaches whicli are Hooding tne
market. Get the genuine of your
druggist, O. II. Snyder, 75 cents per
bottle, and 1 guarantee it will re
move your pimples, freckles, black
heads, moth, tan and sunburn, and
give you a lovely complexion. 1
Specimen Cases.
S. II. Clifford, New Castle, Wis
was trouuieu witn neuralgia ana
rheumatism, -his stomach was dis
ordered, his liver was affected to au
alarming degree, appetite fell awaj
and lie was terribly reduced in flesfc
and strength. Three bottles oi
Electric Bitters cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Harrisbure
111., had a running sore on . his lee
of eight years' standing. Usee
three bottles of Electric Bitters and
seven bottles Bucklen's Arnica
Salve, and his leg is sound and well
John Speaker, Catawba, O., had fivt
. r , 1 , 1
large iever sores on nis leg, uociort
said he whs incurable. One bottl
Electric Bitters and one box Buck
len's Arnica Salve cured him entire
ly. Sold by F..G. Fricke & C.
A Fatal Mistake.
Physicians make no more fatal
mistake than when they inform pa
tients that nervous heart troubles
come from the stomach and are of
little consequence. Dr. Franklin
Miles, the noted Indiana specialist,
has proven the contrary in his new
book on "Heart Disease" which may
be had free of F. G. Fricke & Co.,
who eruarantee and recommend Dr.
Miles unequalled new Heart Cure,
which has the largest sale of any
heart remedy in the world. It cures
nervous and organic heart disease,
short breath, fluttering, pain or ten
derness in the side, arm or shoulder,
irregular pulse, fainting, smother
ing, dropsy, etc. His Restorative
iNervine cures neaaacne, nts, etc
AMttleUlrlaExperiencetn a LigUt
house.
Mr. and Mrs, Loren Trescott are
keepers of the Gov. Lighthouse at
Sand Beach Mich, and are blessed
with a daughter, four years. Last
April she taken down with measles,
followed with dreadful Cough and
turned into a fever. Doctors at
home and at Detroit treated, but in
vain, she grew worse rapidly, until
she was a mere" handtui oi bones .
Then she tried Dr, King's New
Discovery and after the use of two
and a half bottles, was completely
cured. They say Dr. King.s New
Discovery is worth its weight in
gold, yet you may get a trial bottle
tree at r. G. lrickey urugstore.
A Mystery Explained.
nThe papers contain frequent no
tices of rich, pretty ana educated
girls eloping with negroes, tramps
and coachmen. The well-known
specialist, Dr. Franklin Miles, says
all such girls are more or less hys
terical, nervous, very impulsive, un
balanced; usually subject to nead-
ache, neuralgia, sleeplessness, im
moderate crying; orlauerhine;. These
show a weak, nervous system for
which there is no remedy equal to
. . ? , ...
.Restorative nervine. xriai uotueo
and a fine book, containing many
marvelous cures, free at F. G. Fricke
& Co's., who also sell and guarantee
Dr. Miles' celebrated New Heart
Cure, the finest of heart tonics.Cures
flutteringjjshort breath, etc.
Cough Following the Crip
Many person, who have recovered
from la grippe are now troubled
wilh a persistent cough. Cham
berlain's cough remedy will
promptly loosen this cough and
relieve the lungs, effecting a per
manent cure in a very short time.
23 and 50 cent bottle for sale by F.
G. Fricke & Co.
Startling Facts-
The American people are rapidly
becoming a rase of nervous wrecks
and the following suggests, the
best remedy: alphoueo Humpfling,
of Butler, Penn, swears that when
his son was spechless from st. Vitus
Dance Dr Miles great Restorative
Nerving cured him. Mrs. J. L.
Miller of Yalprai and. J. D. Taolnr,
of Logan sport, Ind each gained 20
pounds if an taking it. Mrs. H. A.
Gardner, of Vastulr Indwas cured
of 40 to 30 convulsions easy and
much aeadach, dizzness. bockach
and nervous prostiation by one
be-ttle. Trial bottle and fine boek of
Nervous cures free at F. G. Fricke, &
Co., who rtcomends this tinequailed
remedv. '
-Ely's Cream Balm is especially
adapted as a remeby for catarrh
which is aggravated by alkaline
Dust and dry winds. W. A Hover
ruggist, De-iver.
They wash their clothes
MADE ONLY BY
NKfAIRBANKStCQ CHICAGO.
A Regular Scimitar
That Sweeps &ll before it
MS4 '"
These will atmott
very productive, high quality and sugar flavor. Has great staying qualities. Vines 3K to
4 ft. high. In season follows " Little Gem " and before the'Champion of England." We
have thoroughly tested it, and confidently recommend it as the best ever introduced.
Prioe by mail, per packet, 15 cents J pint, 75 cents.
GIVEN FREE, IF DESIRED, WITH ABOVE,
VICK'S FLORAL GUIDE 1892,
which contains several colored plates of Flowers and Vegetables. 1,000 Illustrations.
Over loo pages 8 x ioj inches. Instructions how to plant and care for garden.
Descriptions of over 20 New Novelties. Tick's Floral Guide mailed oa
receipt of address and 10 cents, which may be deducted from first order. .
James Vick's Sons, Rochester, N.YJ
M
exican
Mustang
Liniment.
A Cure for the Ailments of Man and Beast
A long-tested pain reliever.
Its use is almost universal by the Housewife, the Farmer, the
Stock Raiser, and by every one requiring an ffective
liniment.
No other application compares with it in efficacy.
This well-known remedy has stood the test of years, almost
generations.
No medicine chest is complete without a bottle of Mustang
Liniment.
Occasions arise for its use almost every day.
All druggists and dealers havd it.
For Atchinson, St. Joseph, Leavea
worth, Kansas City, St. Louis,
and all points nr-th, east
south or west. Tick
. ets sold and bag
gage checked
t o a n y
point
in
the
United
States or
Canada. For
INFORMATION AS TO RATES
AND ROUTES
Call at Depot or addre??
H. C. Tovxsext,
G. P. A. St. Louis, Mo.
J. C. Phillippt.
A. G. P. A. Omaha.
H. D. Apgak. Agt., Plattsmouth.
Telephone, 77.
TIMOTHY CLARK.
KALKK IX
COAL WOOD
oTKRMS CASH
r a4 Mc 4M Suth Third Street.
TlehB 13.
FLATTSMT;
Xkbrask
WITH
malt In vonr mnnth. Tha "Charmer" it
HENRY BOECK
The Leading
FURNITURE DEALER
AND
UNDERTAKR.
Constantly keep on hand everythin
you neod to furnish your house.
CO JIN IK SIXTH AN MAIN STBEET
Plattsmouth
Neb
Lumber Yard
THE OLD RELIABLE.
U. A. WaTEEIIAH &
Shingles, Lath, Saah,
PI LUMBER
Doors, Blinds
tan supply everw deaa4 f the city.
Call aaL gtt term. Furth gtreet
is rsar f jra hM.
, (
t
t