The Plattsmouth daily herald. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1883-19??, March 04, 1892, Image 3

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Is It Harrison? U It Cleveland?
I ' U It Blaine? Is It Hill?
f Blaine, McKinley, Gorman, Boies, Rusk,
Wanamalcer. These
portraits are in
themselves beautiful
This apc Is accepted
with engraved portraits of either
Whichever you may select.
works of art, really
splendid pictures,
t as fine as any steel
y. 'engraving, and in
, no way an adver
tisement. They will
be an ornament to
S I Ml T W T F S
1 2
8 4 5 6 7 8 9
IO 11 12 18 14 15 16
17 18 192021 22 28
24 25 26 27 28 29 80
31 -- --
anyparlor, or office,
wall, or desk, and
This is a miniaturt of the Calendar.
The site is $ by t inches.
nvland man you vrill
Calendar- if a Blaine man order a
Calendar ; if a McKinley man order a
The Farm Journal is well known everywhere in the United States
as one of the very liest Farm papers a perfect gem of a Family paper. It
is cremn, not skim milk; it is the boiled-down paper; chuck-full of
common-sense; hits the nail on the head every time. Every one who has
a horse, or cow, or pig, or chicken, or has a farm big or little,
frht to take the Farm Iournal. The
j l
fact that it has a
popularity. It is
to be honest, and
, . n,:., to vote, The harm Journal tor one year costs nom
,"?Sl"-ait calendar costs you but 10 cents, to merely
Vrini"ntf. wrapping; mailing etc., provided that yon
ie time Kor TnK Herald. Our clubbing terms with
cover tne expense 01 f
uDscriw ai nit- "c .
the farm Journal are such that we cm
Farm Journal, 'tt-r "
President's portra calender, -
' Total
for MM but ten cents more than
yonr subscript
you the Farm
-H inrc for nres
iontoTHEllERALDnaj "Jf," Portrait calendar (your
Journal, 1 year, the presidents ,Virpnt in na without
idenO for 3.) cents. Make remittance
delay as this is a special ana exiraorainaryouer. savour rhnirn
Don't forget in order ring calendar to state who ;syour cnoice
for President, and which calendar you want,
. . . -
Circulation Lerge
Rates Reasonable.
Returns Remunerative
Is q Weekly Pqbliccitioq of
ligl qcl special liie qs cji ciel-
seels to l'eqcli families tljiotigli
Sates On. --lica,t: o.n..
BOl Cor Fifth
THE RiaiNAL AN? KSumi. Tse SJ aee, nwttr SjreMet.
-fee, aek ltiee" w tam MHfUtt Plmmmd M ie Keel ee4 iU eeeeHe
kjM !! Wee Mfckaa. Teke ete easier feeeteV Mmn Jilim1i n and Mhm
am siiei ee 1 1 mil I m. innwejeisinei nee lei Miv 1 1 rreisim
aea ay sea 1 in mrwm-
1X1C f AKH lias, At laigc iajvii.,
designed and printed a beautiful Counting House
Calendar for 1892, containing portraits of the leading
Presidential possibilities : Cleveland, Harrison, Hill
and Crisp,
also rostmasrer-oenenL.
after the Calendar
is done are suitable
for framing. They
are sold, with or
without the Cal-
endar, for 25 cents
each, to non-subscribers
to Farm
want a Cleveland
Blaine Calendar; if a Hill man order a Hill
McKinley Calendar, and so on.
r ----- j . e 1
round million readers bespeaks its wonderful
the one paper that guarantees its advertisers
protects its readers against fraud.
our" i '", W?"10
. IY .
and Vine St.
. id 1111 in 111 1 1. vr w 1 1 r.t-ii u
Friend ;
hkb on crani asy
Oolrln.Is, X)MuSL188a.-My wife 09
KOTHXB'8 mm before hsr Uurd
conflnsmeat, and say mhm would not hm
without It for hundreds of dollars.
Ssst by express oa .-eceipt of price, $IJM per bot
tle. Book "To Mother "mailed free.
mmADMBLa raqulatoh 00,
roa sat av i"X mnutTt, ATUVtTA, OA.
aclentiflo method that
cauuot fail unless the
carfb beyond ho Jaa
aid. Yon feel Irapixred
the first day, feel at fr
et ever? dar soon no
yourself kin amona
men la body, mind and
heart. Dralnaaod losses
nded. Kvery obstacle
to happy married life re
moTed. Nerre force,
will, energy, brain power,
when failing or lost are
restored by this treat
ment. All small and weak
portions of tbe body en
larged and strengthened.
Victims of abuses and
excesses, reclaim yonr
manhood ! Sufferers from
folly.OTerwork.UI health,
regain your Tlaor! Don't
despair.eren If in the last
staves. Don't be disheart
ened If quacks have rob
bed rua. Let us show you
that medical science and
bnslnesa honor still exists here ko hand In haod.
Writ for ear Book with explanations proofs,
mailed seeded Tree, Orsr it.OOO nfknscsi,
Sure Cure for Weak Men, a
provod by re ports of loadiDK ptiy-
iBiclsns. btatesite in oraermg.
Il'rico. Cwtalosme Free.
A sale ana spesoy
eure for Sleet,
Stricture and all
unnatural discbarges. Price
Vand Sain IMeae.cror-
nlona Nores andSynh little Afleetloiu, wiUa-
out mercury. I'rice, W. Order from
1S9 Wisconsin Street, aULWAUgSE, WI
iir ths LluMdr Habit, Positively Ciiret
py AamnifEniuQ dr. haines' 0010m specifiu
it can be given In a cup of coffee or tea. or in at
Sides of 'ood. without the knowledge of the per
bon taking it; it is absolutely harmless and wilt
oSTect a permanent and speedy cure, wliotlier
Uic patient is a moderate drlnkeror an alcoholic
a complete cure in evsry instance. 4d page book
PREE. Address in confidence,
wXDCN SPECIFIC CO., 1 86 Rase St. CinclaaatLO
Iterar fails to aie instant relief in tbe wont
eases, ana esecu waere etaere imu.
Msl reehea FsUts: er sVesaMs er ay Balk.
iss dr. b, eoEimiAim, a, rma. m w
DDf1PIIDCn&Bd rr Pamphletand Befereneea,
rnUbUnCU$ewardA.Hsseltine& Bro.Solicitoi
Of Amcrma a Foreign Puerile sua Attorney in Pstenl run
tAssMiaes at WaehiacloD, D.C.J Spriagfield, Missoark
Chamberlain's Bye and Skin
A uttein cere for Chronic Sore Eyei
Tetter, Salt Bheam, Scald He&d, Oh
Chroaio Sores, Fever Sores, Ecsema,
Itch, Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples
snd Piles. It is eoolinff and soothing.
Hundreds of cases have been eared by
It after all other treatment had failed.
It is put up in 29 and 60 cent boxes,
Labeled U ib tins Only.
DP 1 IBipyOujans. IMan-, S33 up. Catalogue
ui'U l i t tree.
!aniel F. Beatty Washingfon
N. J.
'ack'e larMOm Tahalar Ker Cmmh-
Whiepera beri. CoatfertabUu
83 Kreaeway, Kara. Write for soak or eveafa rH CC
fromutm lenca riant eroertb. -Ner
Tails to Xeetore Cray
Hair to its Tonthfal. CelorT
Cure eaaip dieeaeee 4 hair laUioe.
eDe.aodll.OOai ImTrHt
VTrsU Liici-e, l)bilS, ledigaetion, Paia, Take in tiuM.5Ucta.
i- x. t.-i 'B u,!ieer Tonic.
It uree toe vuret Coub,
, Paia, Take in tiuMuAUcle.
The only eore cuie for Come.
Stone il pain, lie at Xttuiete. or 1WSCOS CO., S. Y.
How Lost t How Regained
Or 8KLF-PHESERTATION. A new and onlv
Gold Medal PKIZK ESSAY oa HIBTOD8 and
and WKAKITXSSJU of XAlf . etMpafaa,ctoth.
ut; 1 lavalasUa Brascrtptionc. Only &.M
by maH, doable asafti. DaacrtpUte Pxoapact
as with ndorMBBts fafirpe I crun
zsxsr 3 v.olssz FliEE ! ioS?
Consultation ia peraoa or by neil. Jbcpert treat,
'he Pea bod Medical Iastitate. No. 4 Bulflnch fit.
LUKK. Address Ur. W H wrmr nr
Boston, Masa.
The Peebody Madiaal lusUtute has asany imi
tators, but no equal, t liirald.
The 8ienee of Life, or Self-PreserraUoa, is a
treasure more ralnable then rll . Read it now,
every WEAK and NERVOI S man, and learn te
be ITBOfi . Miiitai ftrm-. (Copyrtchted-i
He was a aaappy-lookiDg yonng fel
low of perhaps St. curly-haired, hand
some, darkeyed, and dressed in the
latest Beyle. Walking into an office in
the Cincinnati Commercial QazeMt
building, he carefully closed the door
behind him. removed his glove, and
remarked: "I was in town and thought
I would drop in to see yon.
"Yes?" interrogatively remarked the
"Yes. I dropped in to see yon
and now I should like to do something
for you." "Oh. you would? Whatcan
you do for me?" coldly returned the
The young man made a graceful bow
and produced his card: "McDonald
Everett Vcratilistic artist and special
ist. Painting Young ladies, lussnna
one hour, free of charge; old maids.
6 and upward, depending upon first
impressions. Musician and vocalist
One night stands, $16; prices to vary
according to si-Ae of hall, also size of
audience. Correspondent (traveling
or stationary) Sensational, 10 centa
per line. Divorce cases written in
flowing style, and eloquence utilized
in case lady is in her teens or not too
far gone beyond. Society scandal,
$10 per column. Actor Shakspeare's
productions $30 per night; $40 if egged.
Other drama $1."j for single engage
ment. Fainting spells with ladies
neatly executed, and real blood used
in every 6cene of tragedies. Ventrilo
quism and elocution on demand at
lowest rates. Kalsomining, plumbing,
carpentry and joinery, paper-hanging,
song and dance Gra-co-ltoman wrest
ling! tight-wire, cleaning and repair
ing clothes; private tutoring for Yale
Princeton. Harvard, and University of
Michigan. Special attention given to
picnicparties and church fairs. Send
stamp for circular,, with interesting
particulars worth twice the money."
"No " "ruilly growled the lawyer.
"I't want anything in your line."
"I'lu-m-m. Sorry. Don't you want
your otlke scrubbed?" "No."
"Coal carried?" "No."
"Shoes shiued?" "No."
"Spittou -washed out neat?" -N"o,
sir. don't want anythingdone at all."
"Oh, indeed? Sorry! What will it
be worth if 1 tell something you want
done- that I can do for you, and no one
l told you once I did not want any
thing done in your line. But I'll give
you a quarter if you can tell me some
thing of that sort," and the attorney
grinned sarcastically. ."Well, you
want me to get out of here! See?"
As he pocketed the quarter daintily
and softly reopened the door, he said:
"Any time you want something else
done drop me a card. I'm in this
business to make a living, and some
thing's got to come."
The Woman Pawned Iler Cost to Get
Money for Her Lawsuit.
"My Jirst .case, said a well-known
Harlem lawyer U a Commercial Adver
tiser man, "was an unique one. An
Irish family of the name of Murphy,
living up on the rocks in one of the
fast-disappearing remnants of Shanty
town, were fraudulently evict n! from
their tumbledown cabin by a rascally
landlord. The practical head of the
household was the wife, and she de
termined to tight the matter out.
"For three weeks the Murphys, chil
dren, furniture and all, lived in the
! back yard of their former home with
nothing between them ana heaven but
a flimsy tent made of old sheets, while
Mrs. Murphy tramped around town
looking for a lawyer who would take.
their case lor nothing.
"One day she charged into my office
and told me her story with the stereo
typed exactness that comes from fre
quent repetition. The case seemed to
be a worthy one, and as I wasn't over
burdened with work I agreed to take
it free of charge and reinstate the
.Murphys iu their dilapidated home-
"She wanted to get out a free sum
mons against the landlord and waive
several other small but necessary ex
penses, but I told her it would be
more politic to pay these, as the total
would not amount to fo.
"'Foive dollars,' she cried, 'divil a
cint have the Murphys seen since m
husband losht his job wan month ago,
and the lasht blissed thing thini pawn
brokers '11 take they've got already.
"When I offered to loan her the
money she went into such a rage that
I I apologized abjectly.
"He the powers, she exclaimed after
pacing the floor for about ten minutes,
'I forgot wan thing! Wait, mister,
an1 I'll be back in an hour.'
"She kept her word,' and jnst as I
was closing up shop for the day she
reappeared with her hands full of sil
ver, which she poured "upon my desk.
' "Mrs." Murphy,' I queried, "where
did you get this? I thought your
last valuable had been pawned?'
"'Yis,' she replied with a gleam of
triumph in her gray eyes, Everything
excipt the goat. I tuk auld Nanny,
whose milk me childer has lived upon,
over to the Kenneys, and they lint me
four dollars and ninety-sivin cints on
her There's the money, young man,
and now. be the luv of hivin, go in
aud bate McCarty!"
"I take pleasure in bating that Mc
Carty was baten.'"
Arabia and the Horse.
3y n great many people Arabia is
suppos-d to le the home of the horse.
From ancient Homau. fJrecian. and
Jewish history it is readily learned
that the horse was unknown in Arabia
long after he. was a common factor in
the life f southern Kurope.
An Aged Calf.
A certain clergyman of Halifax, N.
S., while addressing his congregation
on the subject of the prodigal son, is
aid to have affected his hearers even
more than he anticipated when, with
tears in' his eyes and ' pathos in his
voice; he pictured the aged father
overjoyed at the return of. his long-
lost bov, commanding them to brings
forth and kill the little calf which had
been fattening for years, and years,
and years. Jforptr'a' Bazar.
Bat lie Had fee ana OsmmI Idee Abwa tie
Maaaa;eueent of SeTee.
Capt. Thomas Byrne, or "UM Tom
my,' as he was affectionately called by
all his associates, had at one time
charge of the HualpaU. a tribe ot In
dian nettled in Northwestern Arizona.
Old Tommy, perhaps from his "delud
herin tongue," had an almost mi
raculous ascendency over the chiefs and
head men of this tribu, and, though
his native eloquence was seconded
only by the scantiest allowances of
rations from the subsistence stores of
the camp, he was loved and trusted
by these childlike allies. To hear him
coaxing back a sulky warrior to good -humor
was somethiug to bu long re
membered. "Come, now," he has been heard to
say, "ahure, phat is the matter wid ye?
Have yes iver axed me for anythin'
that Oi didn't promise it to yezV"
Yet Tommy's promises were always
Suddenly one day the Hualpais, like
a flash of lightning out of a clear sky,
went on the warpath and fired on the
agency buildings before leaving for
their old stronghold in the Canon of
the Colorado. No one knew the cause
of their sudden treachery, and Tommy
Byrne was one of those who realized
how much it would cost Uncle Sam in
blood and treasure if the outbreak
were not stopped at once.
Without waiting for his spirited
little horse to be saddled he threw him
self soross its back and swept out into
the hills after the fugitives. When the
Hualpias saw the cloud of dust co
ing they blazed into it. but Tom'
was untouched, and dashed gallau
up, his horse white with foam, to tio
knot of chiefs who stood awaiting him.
At first the Indians were sullen, but
they soon melted enough to tell the
story of their grievances. The new
ageut had been robbing them in the
most baiefaced 'manner, and in their
ignorance they imagined it to he (.'apt.
Byrne's-duty to regulate all the a flairs
in Lis cam p. They did not want to
hurt him and would let him go safcly
back, but for them there was nothing
but the warpath.
"Come back with me," said Tommy
gently, "I will see that you are righted."
Back they went, following that one
unarmed man. Straight to the beef-
scales proceeded the otlicer, and in a
few minutes he had detected the man
ner in which false weight had been
secured by tampering witli the poise.
A Texas steer, which would not weigli
more than 800 pounds, stood at 1,70(,
and of course other articles followed in
the same ratio.
Tommy seized upon the agency and
took charge ; the Hualpais were per
fectly satisfied, and the agent left that
night for California. Thus was a bitter
war averted by the prompt action of a
plain, unlettered man, who had no
ideas about managing savages beyond
that of treating them with kindness
and justice.
Pate Temptation.
. One of the members of the New
York senate who has passed through a
good many experiences during his life
time, was in his younger days a track
walker on a New England railroad,
says the Buffalo Express. At each end
of his route was a small station. Tha
only persons to watch him were in
these neighborhoods. Pat (it is need
less to say be was an Irishman) lived
in a small house beside the track,
about half a mile from one of these
stations. He was the fortunate owner
of an old horse and wagon. This is
what led to his temptation and down
fall. There was a good wagon-road
running parallel with the track all ths
way. "Pat," said the tempter, "what's
to hinder you riding between stations?"
It wouldn't do," said Pat. But the
idea had taken hold of him and one
rainy night he tried it. He left his
horse half a mile from each end of his
beat and walked to the stations at his
usual time. Over the rest of the dis
tance he rode on the turnpike, trust
ing to luck that the track would lie all
right. The thing was so easy that it
soon became a settled practice with
him. For three or four months he
guarded the company's property in
this way. and no one was the wiser.
Then he was spotted, and a summary
discharge followed. "A man with
your genius for dodging work ought to
be a lawyer," said the superintendent.
"Faith, I think so myself." answered
the tlischargi'd track-walker, and a
lawver he became.
A deep black stripe across the cor
ner of an envelope is a badge of mourn
ing, and ealls for the most fashionable
and approved sympathy. Philadelplua
A Russian's Prophecy of War.
A Russian veteran having been
asked by an English tourist at War
saw if he thought there would be war
replied: "My dear sir, do you suppose
that Grand Dukes Alexis and Vladimir
have gone to France at . this time of
famine, when they . can be so little
spared, without a purpose? Do you
suppose that M. de Giers went there
for pleasure? Do you know, sir, that
we have our entire available force in
the vicinity of the German and Aus
trian frontiers? We have 500, OW
men, including 92,00) cavalry, posted
on our western frontiers. In St.
Petersburg we have 50.000 men. in
Moscow M.OOO. The Caucasus and
central Asia, including Siberia, have
only 200,00 men between them. Be
sides, we have no recruits on our west
ern frontier.only men who have served
at least a year with the colors. Do
you think that all these precautions
have been taken for no purpose what
ever? We have a strong fleet in the
Black sea, and HXJ.000 men readv for
embarkation the- moment a favorable
opportunity presents itself; and when.
we do declare war do not think we
shall make it with rosewater. We
have about half a million of Cossacks.
These Cossacks" we will let loose upon
the Germans. 4 hey will burn and kill
everything that comes in their way.
The 'laud that they will have passed
over will be black and desolate. Not a
tree, not a house will be left standing.
not a blade of grass: not a child shall
survive to tell the tale."
CVeUMtM, WOT alrUlWS. v , :
Cefia am .Move! Wstetatv
.Novel writing has become a trade,
and is among the vulgarest and least
respectable of modern occupations. A
mere business or a mere handicraft,
may be ennobled by its pursuer, but
can not be vulgarized as the trade pur
suit of what was once an art may be.
The public insists on being served
with imaginative literature of one sort
or another. The great mass of read
ers has no power to distinguish good
work from bad. It hi us no faculty for
the recognition of style of jmwer or
fineness in the delineation of character.
We have seen already what it demands,
and we have seen that men whose
literary equipment is least adequate iu
the night of the judicious can supply
the demand as well as the most accom
plished literary artist.
The novel, as a vehicle for the ex
pression of thought ami emotion, i.
neither dead nor doomed. The o
portunities it affords are so wide and
various that great men will always lie
found who will employ them. But
for the time at least its day of splendor
is over. Wo are on the eve of a new
epoch. The immediate publicity
allorded by the theater and the splendid
rewards gathered by the successful
playwright will combine to enlist the
most capable literary workmen in the
dramatic art. We shall have very
shortly a renaissance of the stage.
This is not to say for a moment that
all well-equipped writers of fiction will
at once begin to work for the boards.
The difference between the two kinds
of work is so wide that only the niau
why has essayed both can rightly
understand it. The result must bo
looked for through the action of a
growing fashion. Dickens and Thack
ery and George Kliot. wrote novels
naturally, because the novel was Him
form of literature into which they
were born. Men and women of equal
power win) will dawn upon the world
of letters twenty years hence will be
writing drama because th literary at
mosphere will !, saturated with stage
influences. Great fame aud gn-ai
pecuniary reward are baits to catch .
the biggest kill'! f li-;i'M. The fauns
and the reward m:iy be trusted U
create and f ishi ni of seeking for tbein,
and when tiie master-, .f imaginative
art arise tii v will work after the man
ner of their In i i -1). f. '.. to Mumtfj
in lifi (JuiUrin ,!!), irij A'.tc i:.
Ilehcjtding a t'orifeshiiutn.
"The struggle which resulted iu..
Pennington's success," said Senator
Sherman, "was I think the longest
Speakership contest, in our history. It
lasted from Dec. .0 till Feb. 1, and the
House was iu sin uproar a great part
of the time. There were many fnniiw
incidents during the contest, and a
number of times it looked as though
we would have a general light in the
House. The Democrats were on one
..:.!.. ,.f !.. II........ .....I ii. , i.i: Li
on the other, much as they are now,
and 1 remember that we tried to keep
the parties separated and the aisle be
tween them clear. Potter, a Republican
from Wisconsin, and a very large and
powerful man, got in a fuss with
Barksdale of Mississippi. They sat
across the aisle from one another, and
Barksdale said something that made
Potter very angry. He jumped for
him and grabbed him by the hair, in
tending to jerk him up from his seat
and pound his face, but lo and behold .
Barksdale's whole head seemed to rise
up in Potter's hands, and the House
found out for the first time that Barks
dale wore a wig, and his pate, as bald
as a billiard ball, shone out under the
gaslight, while the House -roared.
fV UwlfUihia Inn u irer.
Magnetic Stone.
In Texas there is a stone about
twenty feet in diameter that lias won
derful magnetic power. It is said that
it will draw a hammer or an ax to its
surface even when placed ten or fifteen
feet away on the ground.
All Questions Cheerfully Answered.
Housekeeper: "Have you any Mocha
coffee?" Small dealer: "Yes," mum."
"Genuine Mocha?" "Just imported,
mum." "Import it yourself?" "Oh,
yes, mum. I send my orders direct to
the sultan, mum." "Humph! How
much have you on hand?" "About
sixty pounds, mum." "You have, eh?
Sixty jounds? I read in the paper
this very morning that not over fifty
pounds of genuine Mocha reaches this
country annually." "Yes, mum, that's
true. I had 'bout ten pounds leftover
last year." .V. Y. Wntkly.
How She Won Her Point.
"Mary," he said, as he scowled at her
over the breakfast table.
"John," she replied fearlessly.
"Mary," he said, "what kind of a
breakfast do you call this?"
"I call it an excellent one," she re
turned bravely.
"You do!" he exclaimed. "We41, J
don't! I think a little variety occasion
ally would Ik? a good thing. Do 3011
realize that this is the third morning
this week that we have had corned
beef hash?"
"( 'ertainly. John."
"And that we had corned beef for
dinner yesterday and cold corned beef
for supper?"
"Of course. John. . You wanted m
to run the house as economically as I
"Yes. but "
, "You said that the amount of meat
consumed in this house would bank
rupt a bank president."
"I know, but I "
"And that I ought to plan with more
regard for the expense."
"Certainly, certainlv.Marv; but hang"
H all "
"I've be.ii following your instruc
tions." "But I don't like corned beef!"
"I know it. John." idle said in a busi
like way. "That's what makes i la4
so long. It keeps expenses dowis
splendidly, and if you want "
"I don't!" he exclaimed. "I don't!
Let them run up! You've got fote
good a business head for anything out
side of a lxardiDg house." t'hica