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Who Shall be President?
Is It Harrison?
Is it Blaine?
02. 15 THERE ANY OTHER J1AN YOU WANT FOR PRESIDENT OP
THE UNITED STATES?
NAME YOUR CHOICE I
" . - ... a a Vam S 1 nsvj. a w rAf f A
FARM
Blaine, McKinley, Gorman, Boies, Rusk,
Wanamaker. Ihese
portrai ts are in
themselves beautiful
works of art, really
splendid pictures,
This space Is occupied
with engraved portrait ol cither
HARRISON. CLEVELAND.
BLAINE. HILL, CRLSP.
WANAMAKER. McKINLEY.
GORMAN, RUSK, BOIES.
Whichever you may select.
JOURNAL
'4-
JANUARY
ras fine as any steel
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LET'S HAVE A VOTE !
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is cream, not skim-milk; it is the boiled-down paper; chuck-full of
common-sense; hits the nail on the head every time. Everyone who has
a horse, or cow, or pie, or chicken, or has a farm big or little,
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ADDRESS,
,PI.ATTSMOUTH, XEBRBSKA.
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BUSINESS 31
SOI Cor Fifth
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FA UK EFTS "1
ra HAIR BALSAM
Cutam aad bwaatifla b aair.
rmiauwM a luu.iaat (jrowtk.
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Carts sralp diaraam S: hsir luJiuir.
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HINPkiRCORJNS. The or.W ur cur- for Coma.
How Lost! How Regained
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tut; 1W iaaalawM aaaiji.tioaai, cajy 91M
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as wua ttaorissifBii
iRFnEE!D
of tta Frsa
tastiTmrnilsUi
CoBsaJtatioa ia Dcraoa or br asaa.
Mtu. nrnouBi.K skcbbct sad emm-
BOsaVtOfaW Saf ASsaU
"Tba Paabody IfatUaal InatitnU baa aaaay imi-
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kawiwj WMBVwwH.Hpnaiw. w t -
tm Batea or um, or "ritfian isuoa, is a 1
traaaura saora valuable tnaa valJ. Rcaat U bos
WW
6Cv
'fry
hoFj (life II
McFifiai'rut.
Me b'ya. if a not often ye'U hear ma oomplala,
in', i r , . ,
And it sorry I am that me story ia thrue:
Far iv'ry nun knows It's not daceot ot
manly
To fro back an a fri'nd that baa stud up fer
J'OU.
'II jrit satisfaotion before I'm much
older.
Ye may gtmible yer life, or me name isn't
l'at.
Fer I can not be aUy, I'm almost turned
crasy
liy the uii-s of McKagln. that Uvea in the
tlut.
When we 1jth were at home in the townland
tniri'thcr.
In tlic vt-iy sauie spot wh-re his wife wa
dru't'd up.
Pure; tli- fwt was well known that my peopl
liu'l I'Lnty.
While V.i l-'tmi just worked for the bit an'
tlx- HIM.
With it Roat i t the tlunf aimI a- piK in the cor
inr, Witii 11 n:ty duilhi-e 1 Ptl'kln out of his
hat
If h" p:tiipfi I himself hei-o as I've neen him in
Irt'lunl,
Faith, frighten tue people that lives in
tiiu lint.
In the jnittrs up in harlem wo paddled and
wailed
Through water and mud. like a pair av ould
(MlilM'S.
Till the Aldherman's hrotlier for some cause
or other
App'inteU McKaxin uon the bijr pipes.
Ah, tlie 1ii(th he put ou ye would scarcely be
lieve it!
In liss than a fortnight we had a big
spat.
But with all his 1-md boastin', his rantln' an
toaftiii'.
I never wum.e dlii-amed that he'd more to a
tlat!
Now he wears a b'il.-d shirt an a chokeaway
collar;
His son keeps his feet brushed, an runs a
inustuohe.
With a sU-p like an ape he slides out iv'ry
evenin".
An' he's known to the gairls as a half-witted
inali.
The fat duuxhtcr Jane has set up for a
lieauiy,
he's as oroiul as a toad, an' as blind as a
bat.
When at church she meets people, she looks'
at the steeple
She's (.'one up so high sinse she's lived in a
Hat.
Well, tiiev'll st ly where they are for a little
w! il" lonpiT.
'l'hv.;n they'll move from the place with their
ii!i;:nnt clan:
For their li.fler, llijf Casey, is knix-ked out in
iiin-.U
Suiv 1 knew he'd lie beaten as sure as he
ran.
!ut the r-.nii that we backed, he was nobly
il lii till.
That iiivself tlid the business, he gives in to
that.
On the hrst of the month whin me sons jfits
sp:'inti'il,
Faith: there's somebody else '11 move into
the Hat.
Reorpe E. De-T. in Puck.
HUMAN NATURE.
Heartless Man Trirlea with it and
a Little Oulet l'un.
Haa
There was a man at the Wabash
depot the other afternoon who took a
5 bill out of his vest pocket and
spread it out on his knee and attentive
ly examined it. Then he took it over
to the window and held it to the pane
of glass "ari(f examined it still more
critically. Then he went back to his
seat and said to the man on his right,
who had become much interested, to
gether with half a dozen others.
"Well they say there has got to be a
first time with everybody, but I
thought I had travelled far enough to
cut my eye teeth."
"Got stuck, eh?" queried the other,
as he reached for the bill. "Well, you
are not so much to blame. That bill is
pretty well gotten up."
"Yes, fairly well, but feel of it. Does
it feel like a genuine ttcMibauk to
you?"
"N o, it doesn't, though I should
nTsTer have stopped to fivl of it. I can
see how that it is rougher and coarser."
"They might have passed that off on
me in the night," said a second man
M ho took up the bill, "but never by
daylight. 1 should have spotted it at
once." ..
"Pretty well executed, isn't it?"
queried the owner.
"I don't think so. The inks used were
not iirst. class, and the printing is bad.
I couldi'tell it was queer, even if held
out at arm's length."
"Counterfeit, eh?" said the third
man. as he took the bill in his hands.
"Wall, now, I call that pooty well
done. I'd a taken that bill any whar'
fur a good one."
"If somebody didn't take 'em fer
good," said a man with a pair of steel
bowed spectacles on, as he joined the
group, "the counterfeiters couldn't
make a living. There are plenty of
yahoos still alive."
"Are you callin' me a yahoo?" de
manded the third man.
"I'm only speaking in a general way.
I'd have spotted that bill among a
thousand. Just one look at the back
of it is enough for me. Where'd you
get it?" ..
"Can't tell," solemnly replied the
owner.
"You ought to be mor?carefuL
Yes, I know."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"I think I'll try and pass it off on
soma one. Let's sea if the ticket man
will drop to it."
He advanced to the widow, bought
a ticket for a town fifty miles dowm
the road, and the ticket man pulled in
the bill made change like, chain light
ning. Twenty people were watching,
and each drew a lung breath and
opened -his - eyes. The owner of the
bill coolly pocketed the change and
ticket and calmly sat down and open
ed a newspaper and began to read. It
was some time before the crowd tum
bled to the fact that it had been guy
ed. Then one by one, they sneaked
around or went out for froh air. All
but one. It was the man who re
sented being called a yahoo. lie went
over to the joker with a grin on his
face, slapped him on the back in a
hearty way, and said:
"It was a good joke, and it's jest
such adventures as this that make
travelliu' around all-lired pleasauter
to me! Come out and have &om
lemonade!" Detroit Free Pre.
Harvard College has 219 courses in
liberal arts and sciences.
Too Old to Be IntereMeU.
Not long a so, ia a public school
amination, an eccentric examiner de
manded: "What views would King Alfred take
of universal suffrage, the oonseriyxlon
and printed books if he were Jiving
now?"
" A pupil wrote in answer.
."If King Alfred were still alive he
would be too ojd to take any interest
A CLEVER TRICK.
Haw tha Klllars af si Oaaaaaaapar fas Irs
Uand Mat vad Thalr Necks.
"See that man in the corner of the
car?" said a gentleman to a Boston
Globe man in a Back Bay car one even
ing last week. "Look him over quick
ly, for he will get out at the next stop."
The man referred to was of medium
; height, well dressed, had a determined
expression, and would pas-s as a busi
ness man.
"That man," continued the speaker,
"figured in one of the most sensational
murders ever committed in Ireland,
and he escaped by one of the cleverest
tricks known to the human mind. I
frefertothe shooting nlTray that took
place on Lord Clifton s estate in a
place called Brandon Hill, County
Kilkenny, Aug. 7, DSSS, when the
poachers and live gamekeepers came
together, and before they separated
one member of each party was stretch
ed on the field dying.
"One of the gamekeepers who pur
sued the poachers was more venture
some than the rest and started out in
advance of his companions. After
wandering about for an hour he was
startled by a handsome bird dog
bounding toward him. A moment
later the dog lay struggling at his feet
with a handful of buckshot in his head
and breast. The discharge of the gun
attracted one of the poachers named
Pat- Burns, who emerged from the
cover, gun in hand, his face covered
with a mask.
"Burns asked: 'Did you shoot that
dog?' Welch replied: 'Yes, "and if
you don't look out I will also shoot
you.' Burns did not scare worth a
cent, but bent down on one knee and
examined the dog's wounds. When
he got up Welch hail a bead on him.
Welch was about to pull the trigger of
his gun when a report rang out in the
bushes near by and Welch, the game
keeper, was lying on the ground with
a load of shot in his head.
"The noise attracted other game
keepers, who took it for granted that
Burns was the man who had shot their
comrade, anil they at once opened lire
on him. He attempted to escape, but
the blood was running from his wounds
and 100 yards distant he fell from ex
haustion. A rapid exchange of shots
followed and the poachers were driven
back. The keepers gave up the chase
to care for their fallen comrade, Welch,
who was in awful agony. Burns, the
wounded poacher, would probably
have survived, but one of the keepers
pulled the bandage oif his wounded
leg, and he lived only an hour, having
bled to death. Welch, the keeper,
died at the end of the eighth day.
"Kilkenny jail was crowded with sus
pects a week after the shooting took
place. After the shooting the poach
ers took to the mountains. A surgeon
was called to vaccinate a child in the
neighborhood. The poachers kept
watch of the child, and when the prop
er time came took the virus, and after
scraping the flesh around their shot
wounds they inoculated themselves.
The result was the shot-wounds were
completely covered with cowpox
marks. The oachers were finally ar
rested and lodged in Kilkennny jail.
When the wounds on their arms were
discovered experts were called in to
examine them, but after a most crit
ical examination lasting all day the
men were released.
"That man I pointed out to you."
continued the speaker, "is one of the
two men who evaded justiee so clever
ly. I came to this country six months
later than he did and was astonished
to lind him engaged in a lucrative
busi uess. "
'Witches" Burned in Scotland.
Between the years 1590 and 1680 no
less thau 8. 4 JO women were burned in
Scotland for witchcraft.
The American Joke.
"America," said Darweesh to one of
the ladies, "must be a fine place and
very like Egypt. You have corn, to
bacco, watermelons and a big river
Uiere."
"And crocodiles, too." she replied.
Wallah!" he cried in admiration;
then, with a slight touch of jealousy
that these blessings should be scatter
ed broadcast, he added: "Do they eat
men?"
"No, onlj- dogs," she admitted.
"Ah!" be" returned, exulting in the
superior gastronomic taste of the
Egyptian saurian, "ours eat men!"
"Of course yours will not eat dogs;
they are Moslem crocodiles," she
answered, referring to the Mohamme
dans' avoidance of the dog as an un
clean animal.
As one of the most lovable charac
teristics of the Arab is his instant and
intense appreciation of the feeblest
joke, says a writer in Scribncr's, Dar
weesh seemed much amused and re
peated with many chuckles, "Ours are
Moslem crocodiles," as he went about
his daily work.
Married a Perfect Stranger.
In the diaries of the late Mr. Cope,
11. A., published by Bentley & Son, the
following story is given as told by his
sister-in-law: "She met a farmer
friend and said to him: I hear, John,
that you're lately married: who is your
wife?' 'Weel, Mi Benniiiir. I doan't
quite know.' "How mi? Where did
you meet with her? AweeI, ye see,
miss, I went t' market, and as I was
going I seed a canny lass walking
along t' road, and I says: "Will ye git
oop and ride?" "Ay. ""says ?he." "So
6he gat oop." and I asked her: "Are ye
gangin' to t' market? "Ave," says
the. "What for?" says L "To git a
plaace," says she. So I her down
V t' market" and left her, and as I com
back i' t' evening there was this same
lass warking t' saanir way oop hill. So
1 spak' to her again and axed her:
"Ha" you gotten yer plaace? "Nay,"
ays she. "I banna." "Will ye git oop
and ride?" "Aye." say she. So she
got oop and I axed her: "D'ye think
my plaace would suit ye?" "What
plaace is that?" says she. "Why, to be
my wife," says I. "I doan't mind,"
says sne. So we got wed. and she's a
rare good wife, but she's a parfect
straanger to me." London Xews.
TOM CYPHER'S PHANTOM ENCH
Ghoatly CMaUsaUsa That llauaU
N art tiara I'tacltle Kngtnaors.
Locomotive engineers are as a class
said to be superstitious, but J. M.
Pinckney, an engineer known to al
most every Brotherhood man, is an
exception to the rule. He has never
been able to believe the different sto
ries told of apparitions suddenly ap
pearing on the track, but he had an
experience last Sunday night on the
Northern Pacific east-bound overland
that made his hair htand on end.
By the courtesy of the engineer, also
a Brotherhood man, Mr. Pinckney w:u
riding on the engine. They were re
counting experiences, and the liieniau,
who was a green hand, was getting
very nervous as he listened to the
tales of wrecks and disasters, the hor
rors of which were graphically do
scribed by the veteran engineers.
The night was clear and the ray
from the headlight llashed along the
track, and, although they were inter
ested in spinning yarns, a sharp look
out was kept, for they were rapidly
nearing Eagle gorge, in the ( 'ascades,
the scene of so many disasters and tho
place which is said to be the most dan
gerous on the miles of road.
The engineer was relating a story and
was just coming to the climat when
he suddenly grasped the throttle, and
in a moment had "thrown her over,"
that is, reversed the engine. The air
brakes were applied and the train
brought to a standstill wiMiin a few
feet of the place where Engineer Cy
pher met his death two years ago. By
this time the passengers had become,
curious as to what was the matter,
and all sorts of questions were asked
the trainmen. The engineer made an
excuse that some of the machinery
was loose, and in a few moments thu
train was speeding on to her destina
tion. "What made you stop back there?"
asked Pinckney. "I heard your ex
cuse, but I have run too long on tin
road not to know that your excuse ift
not the truth."
His question was answeied by the
engineer pointing ahead and saying
excitedly:
'There! Look there! Don't you seo
it?"
"Looking out of the cab window.
said Mr. Pinckney, "I saw about 80')
vards ahead of us the headlight of a
locomotive."
"Stop the train, man," I cried, reach
ing for the lever.
"Oh, it's nothing. It's what 1 saw
back at the gorge. It's Tom Cypher'
engine. No. 8:. There's 110 danger of
a collision. The man who is running
that ahead of us can run it faster back
ward than I can this one forward.
Have I seen it before? Yes, twenty
times. Every engineer on the load
'inows that engine, and he's alvvavs
watching for it when he gels to the
gorge."
"The engine ahead of us was run
ning silently, but smoke was putling'
from the stack and the headlight threw
out rays of red, green and white light.
It kept a short distance ahead of us
for several miles, and then for a mo
ment we saw a figure ou the pilot.
Then the engine rounded a curve and
we did not see it again. We ran by a
'.ittle station, and at the next, when
the operator warned us to keep welt
back from a wild engine that was
ahead, the engineer said nothing. He
was not afraid of a collision. Just ttr
satisfy my own mind on the matter 1
6ent a telegram to the engine wiper at
Sprague, asking him if JSo. 83 was in.
I received a reply stating that No. 38
had just come in, and that her coal
was exhausted ami loxes burned out.
I suppose you'll be inclined to laugh at
the story, but just ask any of the boys,
although many of them won't talk
about it. I would not myself if I wen
' tinning on the road. It's unlucky to
io so."
With this comment ujion the tale
Mr. Pinckney boarded a passing caboose
and was so. ,11 on his way to Tacoma.
It is believed by Northern Pacific en
gineers thai Tin una Cypher's spirit
villi !i..vcr near Eagle gorge. Scuttle
"Why Rube Stayed.
As I came along to where the high
way forked, I saw a colored man aboui
fifty years of age tied to a tree beside
the road. The rope was around hia
waist, while his hands were free to
reach the knot and release himself.
"Well, what are you doing there?"
I asked, as I came to a halt.
"Dun waitin' fur Mars Chapin to cum
back," he replied.
"And who's Mars Chapin?"
"He's de Sheriff, sah."
"Did he tie vou to that tree?"
"Yes, sah."
"What for?"
"Kase he 'rested me an' Moses White
'bout a hog case, sah. Moses he dim
wouldn't stand to be 'rested, but cut
an run. De Sheriff he tied me up healr
while he went to look fur Moses."
"Seera to me it would be a very eay
matter for you to untie yourself and
walk away"
"Yes. sah. it would, but I reckon I
won't do it."
"You are an innocent man, then?"
"No. sah. I helped Moseg steal dat
hog fur sho. an' I reckon I'll git about
six months in de coal mines."
"Well, you are about the queerest
darkey I ever saw."
"Mebbe I was sah. but yo" see I has
got to tigger a leetle. Arter I has
surved out my time an' cum home,
mebbe I shall want to go up to Mar
Chapin's jail some day an' ax him tu
took me in fur a month or two. If I
was to onti- myself an' run away he'd
'member it of me, an1 he'd dun look
me all oler an' say:
"Keubeii. dat day I tied yo1 to a
tree yo dun promised to stay right
dar! When I got back wid Moses yo
war gone. Yo' dun busted yo'r word.,
an' I can't trust yo' no mo'. My jail
am a nice, dry place, wid plenty to eat,
an' I'd like to take yo' in an' make yo
comfortable, but I can't do it. When
a nigger busts his word wid me dat
settles it. Yo' go right away an' starve
to death or I'll sick de dawg onto yo""" -
I tossed him a quarter for his com
mon sense philosophy, and he was still
waiting for Mars Chapin aw I rode
away.
' .-4-raja.rfw.r--