r IN 1 "1 i ' r Who Shall be President? Is It Harrison? Is it Blaine? 02. 15 THERE ANY OTHER J1AN YOU WANT FOR PRESIDENT OP THE UNITED STATES? NAME YOUR CHOICE I " . - ... a a Vam S 1 nsvj. a w rAf f A FARM Blaine, McKinley, Gorman, Boies, Rusk, Wanamaker. Ihese portrai ts are in themselves beautiful works of art, really splendid pictures, This space Is occupied with engraved portrait ol cither HARRISON. CLEVELAND. BLAINE. HILL, CRLSP. WANAMAKER. McKINLEY. GORMAN, RUSK, BOIES. Whichever you may select. JOURNAL '4- JANUARY ras fine as any steel engraving, and in S M T W T F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 IO 1 1 12 13 14 IB 16 17 18 192021 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 no way an adver tisement They will be an ornament to 50 CENTS any parlor, or office, wall, or desk, and This is a miniature of the Calendar. The size is , by 9V4 inches. If von are a Cleveland man you will Calendar; if a Bleine man order a l Calendar; if a McKinley man order a LET'S HAVE A VOTE ! TLe Farm Journal is well known everywhere in the United States as one of the very best Farm papers a perfect gem of a Family paper. It is cream, not skim-milk; it is the boiled-down paper; chuck-full of common-sense; hits the nail on the head every time. Everyone who has a horse, or cow, or pie, or chicken, or has a farm big or little, LET'S HAVE A VOTE! It cost you nothing to vote, The Farm Journal tor one year costs nuui ing; the presidents' portrait calendar costs you but 10 cents, to merely cover the expense of printing-, wrapping; mailing etc., provided that you subscribe at the same time for Thu Hekalh. Our clubbing terms with the farm Journal are such that we can turnish Weekly Herald - $1.50. Farm Journal, ; - - .50 President's portrait calender, - .25 Total, ..11 fri m imt 4ph rents morn than your subscription to The HERALD has been paid up in full, we will send L you the Farm Journal, 1 year, the presidents portrait calendar (your chioce for president) for 35 cents. Make remittance direct to us without Velay as this is a special and extraordinary offer. . Don't forget in orderring calendar to state who is your choice for President, and which calendar ycu want, " s ADDRESS, ,PI.ATTSMOUTH, XEBRBSKA. Circulation Large, ask?: Rates Reasonable. Returns Remunerative, PLATTSMOUTH HERALD Is q Weekly Pi Micqtioq of igt 31 d. speciql qltje qs qq qd Vei'tising iqediqiq o qll lo seel-j t ieqcl fqiqilies tl1,otISll" out t1!6 coqqty Spates Ootl. A.;p;glica,t lorn.. A. B. KNOTT BUSINESS 31 SOI Cor Fifth PLATTSMOUTH "L "w T Chichcste wb EmousH. 4 I aalas. ass, Prasa" aar vai ra MmMih Bitm mi Ami ia U4 m i.ati iMaMMitUkWiMn TiteMMkvkUA, - Is it Cleveland ? Is it Hill? IRC J ARM JUUKHAU ius, At 'O'fcC tApcwo., designed and printed a beautiful Counting House Calendar for 1892, containing portraits of the leading Presidential Dossibilities t Cleveland. Harrison, Hill. and Crisp, also Postmaster-Genera: PORTRAIT - after the Calendar is done are suitable for framing. They are sold, with or without the Cal- CALENDAR endar, for 25 cents each, to non-subscribers to Farm Journal. 35 CENTS want a Cleveland Blaine Calendar; if a Hill man order a Hill Mckinley Calendar, and so on. or a garden patch, ought to take the Farm Journal. The fact that it has a round million readers bespeaks its wonderful popularity. It is the one paper that guarantees its advertisers to be honest, and protects its readers against fraud. $2 our usual subscription rate: or, if AS AG EK. and Vine St. - NEBRASKA ftzo Choss Diamond Smamo S rsnaai " MOTHERS Friend" j rm child birth eust. CoItIs, X-, Doe. 8, 1886. My wife uaod KOTHXB'S 7BIIKO before her third confinement, and aaya aha would not be without it for hundred of dollars. DOCK MILLS. Sent by express on receipt of price, f 1.60 per bot tle. Book " To Mothers " mailed free. BRADFIELO REGULATOR CO., ron ante ml all oauaaiara. ATLAMTA, OA. 9l eaknes QUICKLY. THOROUGHLY. 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FA UK EFTS "1 ra HAIR BALSAM Cutam aad bwaatifla b aair. rmiauwM a luu.iaat (jrowtk. Sever Fails to Restore Gray Htir to its Youthful. Color. Carts sralp diaraam S: hsir luJiuir. SOv. mod $ LOU t Druaxiats i-m: xartiJs tingar Tonic, it currj the wurat Cuugh, Vi rak ) ti. ;... IVhiiiir, I-jdigaatlon, Fun, Tak, iu timcMcli. HINPkiRCORJNS. The or.W ur cur- for Coma. How Lost! How Regained rHZJ TuYSElF. Or SKlvr-FKBSKKTATIOK. A Baw and only Gold Medal PKXZB K8SAT oa NEBTOUI and PHTSICAX. DranJTT, SRBOM of TOCTH, KXBAVSTKO TITAUTT, PKX HATUKX DKCXIMK. aad all PTSstASttH and WbUnisila ssTMAK. $pmmm.tiath. tut; 1W iaaalawM aaaiji.tioaai, cajy 91M vf aatail, tloabla aasjaaa. Iwavriiisiaa) ftospajct as wua ttaorissifBii iRFnEE!D of tta Frsa tastiTmrnilsUi CoBsaJtatioa ia Dcraoa or br asaa. Mtu. nrnouBi.K skcbbct sad emm- BOsaVtOfaW Saf ASsaU "Tba Paabody IfatUaal InatitnU baa aaaay imi- W. 1 IT 7 J kawiwj WMBVwwH.Hpnaiw. w t - tm Batea or um, or "ritfian isuoa, is a 1 traaaura saora valuable tnaa valJ. Rcaat U bos WW 6Cv 'fry hoFj (life II McFifiai'rut. Me b'ya. if a not often ye'U hear ma oomplala, in', i r , . , And it sorry I am that me story ia thrue: Far iv'ry nun knows It's not daceot ot manly To fro back an a fri'nd that baa stud up fer J'OU. 'II jrit satisfaotion before I'm much older. Ye may gtmible yer life, or me name isn't l'at. Fer I can not be aUy, I'm almost turned crasy liy the uii-s of McKagln. that Uvea in the tlut. When we 1jth were at home in the townland tniri'thcr. In tlic vt-iy sauie spot wh-re his wife wa dru't'd up. Pure; tli- fwt was well known that my peopl liu'l I'Lnty. While V.i l-'tmi just worked for the bit an' tlx- HIM. With it Roat i t the tlunf aimI a- piK in the cor inr, Witii 11 n:ty duilhi-e 1 Ptl'kln out of his hat If h" p:tiipfi I himself hei-o as I've neen him in Irt'lunl, Faith, frighten tue people that lives in tiiu lint. In the jnittrs up in harlem wo paddled and wailed Through water and mud. like a pair av ould (MlilM'S. Till the Aldherman's hrotlier for some cause or other App'inteU McKaxin uon the bijr pipes. Ah, tlie 1ii(th he put ou ye would scarcely be lieve it! In liss than a fortnight we had a big spat. But with all his 1-md boastin', his rantln' an toaftiii'. I never wum.e dlii-amed that he'd more to a tlat! Now he wears a b'il.-d shirt an a chokeaway collar; His son keeps his feet brushed, an runs a inustuohe. With a sU-p like an ape he slides out iv'ry evenin". An' he's known to the gairls as a half-witted inali. The fat duuxhtcr Jane has set up for a lieauiy, he's as oroiul as a toad, an' as blind as a bat. When at church she meets people, she looks' at the steeple She's (.'one up so high sinse she's lived in a Hat. Well, tiiev'll st ly where they are for a little w! il" lonpiT. 'l'hv.;n they'll move from the place with their ii!i;:nnt clan: For their li.fler, llijf Casey, is knix-ked out in iiin-.U Suiv 1 knew he'd lie beaten as sure as he ran. !ut the r-.nii that we backed, he was nobly il lii till. That iiivself tlid the business, he gives in to that. On the hrst of the month whin me sons jfits sp:'inti'il, Faith: there's somebody else '11 move into the Hat. Reorpe E. De-T. in Puck. HUMAN NATURE. Heartless Man Trirlea with it and a Little Oulet l'un. Haa There was a man at the Wabash depot the other afternoon who took a 5 bill out of his vest pocket and spread it out on his knee and attentive ly examined it. Then he took it over to the window and held it to the pane of glass "ari(f examined it still more critically. Then he went back to his seat and said to the man on his right, who had become much interested, to gether with half a dozen others. "Well they say there has got to be a first time with everybody, but I thought I had travelled far enough to cut my eye teeth." "Got stuck, eh?" queried the other, as he reached for the bill. "Well, you are not so much to blame. That bill is pretty well gotten up." "Yes, fairly well, but feel of it. Does it feel like a genuine ttcMibauk to you?" "N o, it doesn't, though I should nTsTer have stopped to fivl of it. I can see how that it is rougher and coarser." "They might have passed that off on me in the night," said a second man M ho took up the bill, "but never by daylight. 1 should have spotted it at once." .. "Pretty well executed, isn't it?" queried the owner. "I don't think so. The inks used were not iirst. class, and the printing is bad. I couldi'tell it was queer, even if held out at arm's length." "Counterfeit, eh?" said the third man. as he took the bill in his hands. "Wall, now, I call that pooty well done. I'd a taken that bill any whar' fur a good one." "If somebody didn't take 'em fer good," said a man with a pair of steel bowed spectacles on, as he joined the group, "the counterfeiters couldn't make a living. There are plenty of yahoos still alive." "Are you callin' me a yahoo?" de manded the third man. "I'm only speaking in a general way. I'd have spotted that bill among a thousand. Just one look at the back of it is enough for me. Where'd you get it?" .. "Can't tell," solemnly replied the owner. "You ought to be mor?carefuL Yes, I know." "What are you going to do with it?" "I think I'll try and pass it off on soma one. Let's sea if the ticket man will drop to it." He advanced to the widow, bought a ticket for a town fifty miles dowm the road, and the ticket man pulled in the bill made change like, chain light ning. Twenty people were watching, and each drew a lung breath and opened -his - eyes. The owner of the bill coolly pocketed the change and ticket and calmly sat down and open ed a newspaper and began to read. It was some time before the crowd tum bled to the fact that it had been guy ed. Then one by one, they sneaked around or went out for froh air. All but one. It was the man who re sented being called a yahoo. lie went over to the joker with a grin on his face, slapped him on the back in a hearty way, and said: "It was a good joke, and it's jest such adventures as this that make travelliu' around all-lired pleasauter to me! Come out and have &om lemonade!" Detroit Free Pre. Harvard College has 219 courses in liberal arts and sciences. Too Old to Be IntereMeU. Not long a so, ia a public school amination, an eccentric examiner de manded: "What views would King Alfred take of universal suffrage, the oonseriyxlon and printed books if he were Jiving now?" " A pupil wrote in answer. ."If King Alfred were still alive he would be too ojd to take any interest A CLEVER TRICK. Haw tha Klllars af si Oaaaaaaapar fas Irs Uand Mat vad Thalr Necks. "See that man in the corner of the car?" said a gentleman to a Boston Globe man in a Back Bay car one even ing last week. "Look him over quick ly, for he will get out at the next stop." The man referred to was of medium ; height, well dressed, had a determined expression, and would pas-s as a busi ness man. "That man," continued the speaker, "figured in one of the most sensational murders ever committed in Ireland, and he escaped by one of the cleverest tricks known to the human mind. I frefertothe shooting nlTray that took place on Lord Clifton s estate in a place called Brandon Hill, County Kilkenny, Aug. 7, DSSS, when the poachers and live gamekeepers came together, and before they separated one member of each party was stretch ed on the field dying. "One of the gamekeepers who pur sued the poachers was more venture some than the rest and started out in advance of his companions. After wandering about for an hour he was startled by a handsome bird dog bounding toward him. A moment later the dog lay struggling at his feet with a handful of buckshot in his head and breast. The discharge of the gun attracted one of the poachers named Pat- Burns, who emerged from the cover, gun in hand, his face covered with a mask. "Burns asked: 'Did you shoot that dog?' Welch replied: 'Yes, "and if you don't look out I will also shoot you.' Burns did not scare worth a cent, but bent down on one knee and examined the dog's wounds. When he got up Welch hail a bead on him. Welch was about to pull the trigger of his gun when a report rang out in the bushes near by and Welch, the game keeper, was lying on the ground with a load of shot in his head. "The noise attracted other game keepers, who took it for granted that Burns was the man who had shot their comrade, anil they at once opened lire on him. He attempted to escape, but the blood was running from his wounds and 100 yards distant he fell from ex haustion. A rapid exchange of shots followed and the poachers were driven back. The keepers gave up the chase to care for their fallen comrade, Welch, who was in awful agony. Burns, the wounded poacher, would probably have survived, but one of the keepers pulled the bandage oif his wounded leg, and he lived only an hour, having bled to death. Welch, the keeper, died at the end of the eighth day. "Kilkenny jail was crowded with sus pects a week after the shooting took place. After the shooting the poach ers took to the mountains. A surgeon was called to vaccinate a child in the neighborhood. The poachers kept watch of the child, and when the prop er time came took the virus, and after scraping the flesh around their shot wounds they inoculated themselves. The result was the shot-wounds were completely covered with cowpox marks. The oachers were finally ar rested and lodged in Kilkennny jail. When the wounds on their arms were discovered experts were called in to examine them, but after a most crit ical examination lasting all day the men were released. "That man I pointed out to you." continued the speaker, "is one of the two men who evaded justiee so clever ly. I came to this country six months later than he did and was astonished to lind him engaged in a lucrative busi uess. " 'Witches" Burned in Scotland. Between the years 1590 and 1680 no less thau 8. 4 JO women were burned in Scotland for witchcraft. The American Joke. "America," said Darweesh to one of the ladies, "must be a fine place and very like Egypt. You have corn, to bacco, watermelons and a big river Uiere." "And crocodiles, too." she replied. Wallah!" he cried in admiration; then, with a slight touch of jealousy that these blessings should be scatter ed broadcast, he added: "Do they eat men?" "No, onlj- dogs," she admitted. "Ah!" be" returned, exulting in the superior gastronomic taste of the Egyptian saurian, "ours eat men!" "Of course yours will not eat dogs; they are Moslem crocodiles," she answered, referring to the Mohamme dans' avoidance of the dog as an un clean animal. As one of the most lovable charac teristics of the Arab is his instant and intense appreciation of the feeblest joke, says a writer in Scribncr's, Dar weesh seemed much amused and re peated with many chuckles, "Ours are Moslem crocodiles," as he went about his daily work. Married a Perfect Stranger. In the diaries of the late Mr. Cope, 11. A., published by Bentley & Son, the following story is given as told by his sister-in-law: "She met a farmer friend and said to him: I hear, John, that you're lately married: who is your wife?' 'Weel, Mi Benniiiir. I doan't quite know.' "How mi? Where did you meet with her? AweeI, ye see, miss, I went t' market, and as I was going I seed a canny lass walking along t' road, and I says: "Will ye git oop and ride?" "Ay. ""says ?he." "So 6he gat oop." and I asked her: "Are ye gangin' to t' market? "Ave," says the. "What for?" says L "To git a plaace," says she. So I her down V t' market" and left her, and as I com back i' t' evening there was this same lass warking t' saanir way oop hill. So 1 spak' to her again and axed her: "Ha" you gotten yer plaace? "Nay," ays she. "I banna." "Will ye git oop and ride?" "Aye." say she. So she got oop and I axed her: "D'ye think my plaace would suit ye?" "What plaace is that?" says she. "Why, to be my wife," says I. "I doan't mind," says sne. So we got wed. and she's a rare good wife, but she's a parfect straanger to me." London Xews. TOM CYPHER'S PHANTOM ENCH Ghoatly CMaUsaUsa That llauaU N art tiara I'tacltle Kngtnaors. Locomotive engineers are as a class said to be superstitious, but J. M. Pinckney, an engineer known to al most every Brotherhood man, is an exception to the rule. He has never been able to believe the different sto ries told of apparitions suddenly ap pearing on the track, but he had an experience last Sunday night on the Northern Pacific east-bound overland that made his hair htand on end. By the courtesy of the engineer, also a Brotherhood man, Mr. Pinckney w:u riding on the engine. They were re counting experiences, and the liieniau, who was a green hand, was getting very nervous as he listened to the tales of wrecks and disasters, the hor rors of which were graphically do scribed by the veteran engineers. The night was clear and the ray from the headlight llashed along the track, and, although they were inter ested in spinning yarns, a sharp look out was kept, for they were rapidly nearing Eagle gorge, in the ( 'ascades, the scene of so many disasters and tho place which is said to be the most dan gerous on the miles of road. The engineer was relating a story and was just coming to the climat when he suddenly grasped the throttle, and in a moment had "thrown her over," that is, reversed the engine. The air brakes were applied and the train brought to a standstill wiMiin a few feet of the place where Engineer Cy pher met his death two years ago. By this time the passengers had become, curious as to what was the matter, and all sorts of questions were asked the trainmen. The engineer made an excuse that some of the machinery was loose, and in a few moments thu train was speeding on to her destina tion. "What made you stop back there?" asked Pinckney. "I heard your ex cuse, but I have run too long on tin road not to know that your excuse ift not the truth." His question was answeied by the engineer pointing ahead and saying excitedly: 'There! Look there! Don't you seo it?" "Looking out of the cab window. said Mr. Pinckney, "I saw about 80') vards ahead of us the headlight of a locomotive." "Stop the train, man," I cried, reach ing for the lever. "Oh, it's nothing. It's what 1 saw back at the gorge. It's Tom Cypher' engine. No. 8:. There's 110 danger of a collision. The man who is running that ahead of us can run it faster back ward than I can this one forward. Have I seen it before? Yes, twenty times. Every engineer on the load 'inows that engine, and he's alvvavs watching for it when he gels to the gorge." "The engine ahead of us was run ning silently, but smoke was putling' from the stack and the headlight threw out rays of red, green and white light. It kept a short distance ahead of us for several miles, and then for a mo ment we saw a figure ou the pilot. Then the engine rounded a curve and we did not see it again. We ran by a '.ittle station, and at the next, when the operator warned us to keep welt back from a wild engine that was ahead, the engineer said nothing. He was not afraid of a collision. Just ttr satisfy my own mind on the matter 1 6ent a telegram to the engine wiper at Sprague, asking him if JSo. 83 was in. I received a reply stating that No. 38 had just come in, and that her coal was exhausted ami loxes burned out. I suppose you'll be inclined to laugh at the story, but just ask any of the boys, although many of them won't talk about it. I would not myself if I wen ' tinning on the road. It's unlucky to io so." With this comment ujion the tale Mr. Pinckney boarded a passing caboose and was so. ,11 on his way to Tacoma. It is believed by Northern Pacific en gineers thai Tin una Cypher's spirit villi !i..vcr near Eagle gorge. Scuttle "Why Rube Stayed. As I came along to where the high way forked, I saw a colored man aboui fifty years of age tied to a tree beside the road. The rope was around hia waist, while his hands were free to reach the knot and release himself. "Well, what are you doing there?" I asked, as I came to a halt. "Dun waitin' fur Mars Chapin to cum back," he replied. "And who's Mars Chapin?" "He's de Sheriff, sah." "Did he tie vou to that tree?" "Yes, sah." "What for?" "Kase he 'rested me an' Moses White 'bout a hog case, sah. Moses he dim wouldn't stand to be 'rested, but cut an run. De Sheriff he tied me up healr while he went to look fur Moses." "Seera to me it would be a very eay matter for you to untie yourself and walk away" "Yes. sah. it would, but I reckon I won't do it." "You are an innocent man, then?" "No. sah. I helped Moseg steal dat hog fur sho. an' I reckon I'll git about six months in de coal mines." "Well, you are about the queerest darkey I ever saw." "Mebbe I was sah. but yo" see I has got to tigger a leetle. Arter I has surved out my time an' cum home, mebbe I shall want to go up to Mar Chapin's jail some day an' ax him tu took me in fur a month or two. If I was to onti- myself an' run away he'd 'member it of me, an1 he'd dun look me all oler an' say: "Keubeii. dat day I tied yo1 to a tree yo dun promised to stay right dar! When I got back wid Moses yo war gone. Yo' dun busted yo'r word., an' I can't trust yo' no mo'. My jail am a nice, dry place, wid plenty to eat, an' I'd like to take yo' in an' make yo comfortable, but I can't do it. When a nigger busts his word wid me dat settles it. Yo' go right away an' starve to death or I'll sick de dawg onto yo""" - I tossed him a quarter for his com mon sense philosophy, and he was still waiting for Mars Chapin aw I rode away. ' .-4-raja.rfw.r--