LONDON THEATER TOUTS.
Bw Patron Are Made Miserable by
Joe, fnp i sad UUer FUadi.
Yoa bare scarcely pat your nose In
UU a theater before yoa are seized upon
and called to utand an,d deliver. First it
14 yoor coat. Men and women rnsb after
yon and pester you for your coat. They
would rejoice if all were foolish enough
to yield to their importunate demands,
ad risk colds, coughs, influenza and
bronchitis for the rest of their natural
life. Why, it m madneHu to venture into
the stalls without a draft protector.
Modern theaters are so constructed that
they are mere draft traps.
If you are Heated near the door you risk
jrtifT neck. You must wrap your cloak
anund yoa and be careful to protect
your lags from the blasts of wind that
your in from every crack and canny. If
you are in the center of the stalls, at
fnany theaters directly the curtain is
raised a tornado of wind rushes across
the footlights and catches yon by the
throat. I often think that women are
mad who venture into theaters with low
dxBHses in winter time. It is bad enough
for men.
And yet thewo attendants get quite of
fended if we do not leave behind us the
eoly garments that will protect us from
sadden death. Remember that no one
ia free from the theater highwaymen,
flven those who go in with orders cannot
get out of the cloakroom or programme
tax. At last they must pay. I remem
ber once going into a theater with a
friend who had a keen sense of the lu
dicrous. I think it must have been W.
3. Gilbert. It was a morning perform
ance and he was attacked in the usual
way:
"Coat, Bir!"
"What do you want with it?'
"To take it off."
"Very well," he murmured innocently.
The highwayman prepared to strip oil
his coat, and behold! my friend, who
hail prepared for the dodge, walked
away in his shirt sleeves! lie had only
pnt on his overcoat, with nothing un
dernoath it
Unconcerned he was preparing to en
tar the stalls coatless. when the attend
ant rushed after him.
"Look here, sir, you must not go into
the stalls like thatr
"Why not?" he asked with a bland
and innocent air. "You asked for my
ooat. You have got it. What more can
yon want?"
The coat and cloak fiends having been
disposed of, you encounter the second
ank of touts. Now it is a programme
for which you must pay. They inso
lently bar your passage. They dun you
and din into your ears, ."Programme,
wtrV It is not a civil request to know
if you would like a programme or not,
hut a demand with an implied threat.
The implication is that you are a stingy
person, who has no right to be seen in
the stalls.
But this is not all. Having gone
through the first easy stages of theatrical
purgatory, you are worried all the even
ing with ice sellers and chocolate vend
ors and stale cake providers. If you are
in the stalls, safely wrapped up from
the drafts, these touts edge in between
the very narrow and uncomfortable
stalls and generally make hay. They
tread on your toes, they disturb the lit
tle nest you havo maJe, they make havos
with the ladies' back hair, palling out
on riding hairpins and crushing the re
sult of the maid's handiwork. They
don't care if they dig you in the eye
with an ice tray or powder you with the
refuse of pponge cake or bury you under
eaocolate boxes.
Their duty is to make as much money
a possible for the speculating contract
tor. It is not their fault, poor things.
They all get a commission on their
warea and it is their duty to tout.
Clement Scott in London Graphic
gonth American I.t Making
All the love making in South An.erica '
must be carried on through a third per-
on. If a youth desires to marry he '
doe not ppeak of it to the girl whom he
wishes for a wife, but to his own father.
The latter, if he approves, goes to the
father of the young lady and the two
discu?s the matter together. .Each telL
toe other what he will do for the yoousf
folks, and betwit-n them a contract w
Irawn up respecting settlements and all
inch things.
The inteielinar bridegroom is not per
mitted to see his fiancee for a moment
before the wedding. As soon as that
vent has taken place there is a wedding
breakfast, and usually without the for
mality of a preliminary tour, the coupie
settle down to living, either in an es
tablishment of their own or more often
in the house of the parents of the "bride
or the groom.
One drawback about marria ge in
South America is that in taking a girl
fco wife it is apt to be considered a mat
ter of course that the young man .mar
rirs b-r whole family also. He ha no
occasion for surprise or disgruntlem nt
if, together with his bride, fifteen or
twenty people come to share his hoct e
aold and domestic comforts, includia. J
all her available relatives and their serv -nts.
Thesn Latins are a very cl-miih race,
and a father i- ;4:-t to be willing to ftlll,,
ar;vft f r.uu cousins and aunts, 1
ui iu mention a mother-in-law, rather
than have his son or daughter leave the
family roof. It is dne to the strength
of family attachment among them tha?
hotels in South America are only for
strangers from afar; the natives always
find hospitable entertainment among the
kindred. Cincinnati Coiunvircial Gazette.
Too Much Lynch Law.
First Citizen Wall, we caught up
with the. feller wot stole your new over
coat, an lynched him.
Second Citizen Ha. ha! tliat's some
thin like. Teach these coyotes they've
getter obey the laws o the land. Hung
him, eh?
"No, we shot him full o' holes."
"Gee whittaker! He didn't have my
overcoat on, did he?"
"Jerusalem, partner, come to think.
I'm 'fraiJ he did."
"Ye oughter bo arresti.-, every one of
ye. This ere lynch law is a disgrace tcr
civilization." New York Weekly.
A WOMAN DOCTOR'S BROUGHAM.
It
f ?Votlitnc More Nor Lesa Than
a Pri-
vale Travelling Tr-T1ie; , W t n -.
A. busy woman doctor in Brooklyn,
whose practice is so extensive that it
keeTm hur driving over the city's ill pared
riieets for many hours every day, has
aad made for her a brougham which
3otnV4ncs nbont as many comforts - as is
ptMtrible to pack into so confined a space.
To L!in wiLh. under the seat is a capa
cious drawer, divided into compartments,
to hold thoHe surgical instruments which
a doctor must eirry.
In the tne drawer is found room for
two or three small handbags containing
an assortment of medicines. There is
also space for a small portable electric
battery in its polished wood case. These
are all hidden away, however, when the
drawer is shut, and so do not mar by
their painful suggeetavenees the snugly
comfortable appearance of the rest of the
interior.
There is nothing out of the way about
this, of course. The novel features are
all in the front of the brougham facing
the. occupant. The most "striking" is a
pretty clock, by which the doctor tines
her visits and the speed of her eoaoh
man. It is screwed to the wall, so to
Bpeak, at a convenient height. Under
neath it ia a silver plated flower bolder,
for the doctor has. lost none of her essen
tially feminine tastes because she has
learned how to saw your leg off.
Then in a little pocket in the lining of
the carriage is a manicure set, for a doc
tor's hands should always be a joy to
look at, even when they belong to a
man. In another pocket is a brush and
comb and some hairpins. This doctor's
hair is thick and long and a little un
ruly, being generally charged with elec
tricity from her intensely energetic
spirit. In another pocket is a whisk, for
the roads aro mostly dusty in Brooklyn,
and the doctor's costumes have inspired
many a young woman to acquire a pro
fession. Another fold hides a seen:
bottle. Sickrooms are often poorly ven
tilated. There is a mirror, of course, thai can
be hung on a hook just below the clock
and then returned to its pocket. A fan
peeps out there, a glove buttoner here
and a bigrrer pocket than all has gener
ally one or two of the latest numbers of
the magazines; medical ones for the
doctor's own perusal as she bowls along,
and more entertaining ones for her
friends. For this doctor is seldom seen
driving about alone.
She generally has some of her patients
or her friends with her, and when con
versation flags, or the guest is waiting
in the brougham whilo the doctor is
calling on a patient, the magazine keeps
the time from dragging. Even her
coachman gets the benefit of this feature,
and he may often bo seen, looking more
comfortable than "correct," leaning
back upon his box with a copy of a re
cent publication in his hand. New York
Tribune.
uuaimmtd'i Birthday In Loadea,
Mohammed's birthday has been duly
celebrated in the metropolis of the Brit
ish empire by the Anjuman-i-Islam,
London a society consisting of Indian
Mussulman gentlemen residing in Eng
land giving a dinner in honor of the
prophet in the Holborn restaurant.
. largs number of Ma&culmans assisted
at the convivial assembly, at which Mr.
A. A. Eusanally, president of the An-jnxaan-i-Islam,
was chairman. After
the healths of "the queen-empress," "the
Prince and Princess of Wales, and the
rest of the royal family," had been en
thusiastically honored, the chairman
proposed tb toast of the evening,
"Health to his imperial majesty Sultan
Abdul Hamid Khan, commander of the
faithful and guardian of the KaabaP
The toast was received with great cheer
ing. TKs proceedings were brought to
a does by soms recitations from the
Koran. London Telegraph.
Lot That Stood the Test. j
Those who witnesseed the solemnizing i
of the nuptials in which Miss Mary E. I
Flynn and James A. Polk were, made j
life partners at Newport, Del., the oth"r '
day, recalled a frightful accident which !
befell the couple on dark evening three
years ago. The young lovers were run ;
into by a fast express on the Philadel-
phia, Wilmington and Baltimore rail- j
road, and hurled bleeding and uncon- j
scious to the ground. Ths horse was cut j
to pieces and the vehicle wrecked. The :
bride elect was hurt more seriously than i
the groom. 1 her life was despaired of. j
She recovered somewhat, but is a crip- j
pie for life. This frightful calamity did :
not cool the ardor of the lovers, and the j
anniversary of the accident which near- j
ly killed both was celebrated by a mar- !
riags. Cor. Baltimore American.
i
Why She Stopped the Car. j
On Tuesday a broken trolley wire de- !
lnyed the West avenue street cars a? i
honr or more just at dinner time. When j
the first west bound car passed Twelfth '
street the conductor was awakened from
a reverie by a cry from within the car
to stop, while a younger lady was seen 1
wildly gesticulating, apparently for his .
. benefit. Th car was stopped. The
I young woman, oat of breath, ran up to
within a few feet and shouted: "Ma, I
yonr dinner's on the table in the dining j
room. The cars were lite and I couU j
! lot wait." "Ma" shook her head ant j
hen the younger one turned and re- j
ra med her journey cityward. Minneap- !
0jA vinuune.
ter coolly throwing a sleeper's wood
i out of the window, a llaasachn
Affte burglar proceeded to plunder the
room. When the movable valuables had
feeea . athered for transportation the
burglar ft a note for the cripple, stat
ing w re his artificial leg could be
fcmal.
Tie Cultivated Oyntcr.
I Yl(.n y 'Jur hct places before yon
ovster the. 1 are pl"il an,i round and
thick .ni.l t. pau coioreu anu
I mantled hm.
, thick to the Vt
, mre that thov
rowly by a fringe quite
ry edge, then yon may be
have not only lived with
s, but under a high state
lew U15tUlaiCt
of cultivation.
Scribner'a.
-Ldward Li. Wiisou in
Open Cere te Be ReeaedeleeU
"The days of the street car, grips m
well as trailers, having the seats ar
ranged crosswise instead of parallel with
the car, are numbered." This remark
was . made, a few days .ago by a well
known Chicago physician who is the
medical examiner for an accident insur
ance company which insures the lives of
many street car employees as well as
patrons.
"Why do you say that?" was the query
of a friend.
"For this reason the cars built with
the seats crosswise almost invariably
have footboards running alongside bo
that the passenger may get on or off the
car at any spot in the road,' as the sport
would say, and these footboards facili
tate a passenger in getting into danger.
For instance, the rules of all the cat
companies require the passenger to get
on or off the car on the side nearest the
sidewalk. This rule was intended to
keep the people off the track of the car
going in the opposite direction. But
these rules are not obeyed, and street
car companies must pay damages when
any one is hurt, and the conductor has
no opportunity to stop his car if the
passenger takes a notion to get off with
out signaling him to stop, and many peo
ple are injured while getting off a cat
while it is in motion sometimes by be
ing struck by a vehicle or another car,
sometimes by slipping on the treacher
ous footboard or by making some kind
of a misstep.
"The car with the end door as the only
means of exit is the one which protects
the company from many damage suits.
The open car with the running foot
board may be cheaper in construction,
but statistics will show that nine-tenths
of the accidents caused by getting on
and off cars occur on open cars or grips
with the cross seats and running foot
boards. I think there should be a city
ordinance against their use. Besides,
the street car companies will some day
awaken to the fact that cars of that
style sometimes canse in one minute
damage equal to their first cost." Chi
cago Times.
Albert Edward's Slumming- Experience.
There are just now stories flying about
of the Prince of Wales visiting th
"slums" under a rather comical disguise,
but though it is known that the prince,
accompanied by Lord Carrington, mad
himself acquainted with the "seamy
side of life, very little art was required
to conceal his identity. Indeed, it is
surprising, though Englishmen are as a
rule familiar, more or less, with the ap
pearance of their future sovereign, how
often his presence in a place where he is
not expected passes without recognition.
Some years ago the prince, quite in
cognito, traveled down to Folkestone to
meet Princess Louise, who was coming
over from the Continent, and as there
was some time to wait before the arrivaj
of the steamer, he strolled about on tho
quay and ultimately went out with a
boatman of local fame for a Bhort cruise
in the channel. When they got 6afely
back the prince remarked, "Perhaps
you would like to know who I am?"
"I don't know as I cares; it ain't no
odds to me," came the reply.
"Well, I'm the Prince of Wales."
"The Prince of Wales!" ejaculated the
old mariner, giving his customer a play
ful dig in the ribs. "Get along with
yer!" London Cor. Chicago Times.
A Storehouse of Electricity.
Minnesota, not to be behindhand in
marvels, tells of an electric well which
one of its citizens claims to have been
discovered near Red Wing recently. Ac
cording to the story the drillers had
drilled about 150 feet when they lost
their drill rods and a diamond drill.
The whole business had dropped to no
where in an instant. There was quite a
force of air coming out of the hole, and
the men said there was no use going any
farther, because there wasn't any bot
tom. They concluded to fish for the
rods and drill, but as soon as the rods
were dropped into the hole they begar
to shiver in a queer way.
One of the men took hold of the bar
with a pair of leather gloves, and he was
knocked down. Then Holly well touched
the rope and got a shock, because it was
wet. There seems to be a perfect natu
ral storehouse of electricity. It is gen
erated in some way in that pocket where
the drills went, and there is enough of
it to execute a whole county at once un
der the New York law. Philadelphia
Ledger.
A Grand Old Commoner.
Though essentially a modest man, Mr.
Smith had a certain pride of his own.
Public rumor was always conferring a
peerage upon him, and I suppose that
had he lived he would have accepted
one. But he was proud of his inde
pendent and "self made" position "as a
wealthy commoner. "You see," he said
to me, "I have no aristocratic connec
tions, no family interests; indeed, I
haven't a male relative alive except my
own boy. 1 am completely unprejudiced
and unfettered." He was aware of the
advantage this gave him. He was rich
and a plebeian, and his colleagues had
confidence in him accordingly as a strong
administrator. Pall Mall Gazette.
Quention of Telephone Charges.
A proj)03al has been made by Dr.
Strecker, of Berlin, which seems to solve
the question of telephone charges. He
proposes to levy a fundamental charge
to meet the expenses for installation,
maintenance and depreciation, in addi
tion to a time charge, to meet the work
ing expenses. Nothing could be fairer
than to charge for the use of the tele
phone according to the duration of con
versation, and Dr. Strecker proposes to
use a clock which goes as long as the con
versation lasts. New York Telegram.
A IS'ew AVay to Throw Rice.
A practical joke which the best man at
an antumu wedding perpetrated was to
deliver to the porter of the parlor car in
which he saw them off a sealed telegraph
envelope with instructions to deliver it
at a certain station. The darky duly did
so and the fcri'0'" l--1"!: the seal to have
a small avalanche of rice ponr throngb
bis fingers. New York Times. t
Taken Up.
Taken up at my farm 2Va miles
nouth of Platts.notith, Wednesday
Februry 3rd, one yearling heifer caff
and one yearling steer calf, both red
marked with tip of left ear cut off
and "V" cut on und?r side. Party
may have same by paying for ad
Tertisement and proving owner
ship. Bin F. Hokning.
Bucklen's Arnica Salve.
Thb Bkst Sai.vk in the world for Cuts
Hruisen, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Hheum. Fever
Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and posi
tively cures Piles, or no pay required.
It is guaranteed to give sutis'action, or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per box.
For sale by F. O. Kncke
January i.s crone, yet nome paperH
are still publishing those lists of
marriageable young men.
Do not confuse the famous Blush
of Roses with the many worthless
paints. powders, creams and
bleaches which are Hooding the
market. Get the genuine of your
druggist, O. II. Snyder, 75 cents per
bottle, ana 1 guarantee it will re
move your pimples, freckles, black
heads, moth, tan and sunburn, ana
give you a lovely complexion. 1
Electric Bitters.
This remedy is becoming so well
and so popular as to need no special
mention. All who have used Elecl
trie Hitters sing the same song of
praise. A purer medicine does not
exist and it is guaranteed to do al
that is claimed. Klectric Hitters
will cure all diseases of the liver
and kidneys, will remove pimples,
boils, salt rheum and other affec
tions caused by impure blood.
Will drive malaria from the system
and prevent as well as cure all ma
larial fevers. For cure of headache,
constipation and indigestion try
Klectric Hitters. Entire satisfaction
guaranteed, or money refunded.
Price 50c and $1 per bottle at F. G.
Fricke & Co's drugstore. 5
Church Howe has $100,000 invest
ed in his Nemaha county stock
farm and has 125 head of trotting
horses.
A Fatal MlstaKe.
Physicians make no more fatal
mistake than when they inform pa
tients that nervous heart troubles
come from the stomach and are of
little consequence. Dr. Franklin
Miles, the noted Indiana specialist,
has proven the contrary in his new
book on "Heart Disease" which may
be had free of F. G. Fricke & Co.,
who guarantee and recommend Dr.
Miles' unequalled new Heart Cure,
which has the largest sale of any
heart remedy in the world. It cures
nervous and organic heart disease,
short breath, fluttering, pain or ten
derness in the side, arm or shoulder,
irregular pulse, fainting, smother
ing, dropsy, etc. His Restorative
Nervine cures headache, fits, etc.
It Should be in Every House.
J. B. Wilson, 371 Clay St., Sharps
burg. Pa., says he will not be with
out Dr. King's New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Colds,
that it cured his wife who was
threatened with Pneumonia after
an attack of 'La Grippe," when
various other remedies and several
physicians had done her no good
Robert Barber, of Cocksport, Pa.,
claims Dr. King's New Discovery
has done him more good than any
thing he ever used for Lung
Trouble. Nothing like it. Try it
Free trial bottles at F. G. Fricke &
Co's drugstore. Large bottle, 50c.
and $1.00.
The girl's industrial school build
ing at Geneva is Well along toward
completion, and is said to be admir
ably arrangek for its purpose.
A Mystery Explained.
The papers contain frequent no
tices of rich, pretty and educated
girls eloping with negroes, tramps
and coachmen. The well-known
specialist, Dr. Franklin Miles, says
all such girls are more or less hys
terical, nervous, very impulsive,.im
balanced; usually subject to nead
ache, neuralgia, sleeplessness, im
moderate crj-ing or laughing. These
show a weak, nervous system for
which there is no remedy equal to
Restorative Nervine. Trial bottles
and a fine book, containing many
marvelous cures, free at F. G. FricKe
& Co's., who also sell and guarantee
Dr. Miles' celebrated New Heart
Cure, the finest of heart tonics.Cures
fluttering,;short breath, etc.
Cough Following the Grip
Many person, who have recovered
from la grippe are now troubled
with a persistent cough. 'Cham
berlain's cough remedy will
promptly loosen this cough and
relieve the lungs, effecting a per
manent cure in a very short time.
25 and 50 cent bottle for sale by F.
G. Fricke & Co.
The principal of the Ulysses
schools has been arrested on the
charge of unmetcifully beating his
pupils.
Startling Facts.
The American people are rapidly
becoming a rase of nervous wrecks
and the" followtng suggests, the
best remedy: alphouso Humpfling,
of Butler, Penn, swears that when
his sou was spechless from st. Vitus
Dance Dr Miles great Restorative
Nerving cured him. Mrs. J. L.
Miller of Valprai and. J.D. Taolnr,
of Logansport, Ind each gained 20
pounds if an taking it. Mrs. H. A.
Gardner, of Vastulr Ind, was cured
of 40 to 50 convulsions easy and
much aeadach, dizzness, bockach
and nervous prostiation by one
bottle. Trial bottle and fine boek of
Nervous cures free at F. G. Fricke, &
Co..-who recoinends this uneq nailed
remedy.
Kly's Cream B.!ji is especially
adapted as a remeby for catarrh
which is aggravatetl 03' aiKanne
dust and dry winds. W. A. Hover
Druggist, Denver.
Youp ned; week's vashins
Will look whiter, will be cleaner and will
be done with leu Itbor if
SANTA CLAUS SOAP
is uaexL. The. clothes will smell ewtfttcrand
will last lonrcr. SANTA CLAUS SOAP Is
pure, ii cleans but doas not Injur t-he-fabric.
It docs iot roujhn or chap the
hands. M'Hions use. it. Jo YqUl?
N.K. FAIR BANK tCCOM'w. CHICAGO.
A Regular Scimitar
That Sweeps
ThAU wtll atmAB
very productive, high quality. and sugar flavor. Has great staying qualities. Vines 3J to
4 ft. high. In season follows ,TLittle Gem " and before the ''Champion of England." W
have thoroughly tested it, and confidently recommend it as the best ever introduced.
Price by mail, per packet, 15 cents j pint, 75 cents.
GIVEN FREE, IF DESIRED, WITH ABOVE,
VICK'S FLORAL GUIDE 1892,
which contains several colored plates of Flowers and Vegetables. 1,000 Illustrations.
Over" 100 pages 8 x xoJ inches." Instructions how to plant and care for garde.
Description of over 20 New Novelties. Tick's Floral Guide mailed oa
receipt of address and 10 cents, which may be deducted from first order. .
JAMES VICK'S SONS, Rochester, N.Y.
iviexican
Mustang
Liniment.
A Cure for the Ailments of Man and Beast A
A long-tested pain reliever.
Its rise is almost universal by the Housewife, the Farmer, the
Stock Raiser, and by every one requiring an effective
liniment.
No other application compares with it in efficacy.
This well-known remedy has stood the test of years, almost
generations.
No medicine chest is complete without a bottle of Mustang
Liniment.
Occasions arise for its use almost every day.
All druggists and dealers have it.
For Atchinson, St. Joseph, Leaven
worth, Kansas City, St. Louis,
and all points north, east
south or west. Tick
eta sold and hag
gage checked
to any
point
in
the
United
St a tea or
Canada. For
INFORMATION AS TO RATES
AND ROUTES
Call at Depot or address
H, C. Towxsexin
G. P. A. St. Louis, Mo.
J. C. PuiLLirPi,
A. G. P. A. Omaha.
H. D. Apgar. AgX., Plattsmouth.
Telephone, 77.
TIMOTHY CLARK.
DEALER IN
COAL WOOD
-o TERMS CASHo
rd and OCice 404 8outh Thrd Street.
Telepliene 13.
Plattsmouth,
Nebrask a.
all before it
malt In vnur mm th. The "Charmer" U
HENRY BOECK
The Leading
FURNITURE DEALER
AND
UNDERTAKE.
Constantly keeps on hand everythin
you ned to furnish your house.
WKNKK HIXTU AX1 MAIN 8TKEKT
Plattsmouth
Neb
Lumber Yard
THE OLD RELIABLE.
I A. WATERMAN &
binlew. Lath, 6uh,
Doors, Blinds
supply evcrw demand of the city.
Call and get terms. Fourth street
ia rear f opera fcovM.
P LUMBER
