Who Shall be President? Is it Harrison? Is it Blaine? Is it Cleveland? Is It Hill ? hi OR IS THERE ANY OTHER flAN YOU WANT FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? NAME YOUR CHOICE ! designed and printed a beautiful Counting House Calendar for 1892, containing portraits of the leading Presidential possibilities : Cleveland, Harrison, Hili, Blaine, McKinley, Gorman, Boies, Rusk, and Crisp, also Postmaster-Genen Wanamaker. lhcsc portraits are in themselves1eautiful works of art, really splendid pictures, FARM JOURNAL as fine as any steel engraving, and in no way an adver tisement. They will be an ornament to 50 CENTS any parlor, or office, wall, cr desk, and J! yna are Calendar; Calendar ; This space Is occupied with engraved portrait of either HARRISON, CLEVELAND, BLAINE. HILL, CRISP, WANAMAKER, McKINLEY. GORMAN, RUSK, BOIES. Whichever you may select. JANUARY S M T W T F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 IO 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 192021 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 PORTRAIT after the Calendar is done are suitable for framing. They are sold, with or without the Cal- CALENDAR endar, for 25 cents each, to non-subscribers to Farm Journal. This is a miniature of the Calendar. The site ts 5J4 by 9J4 inches. a. Cleveland man you will want a Cleveland if a Blaine man order a Blaine Calendar; if a Hill man if a McKinley man order a McKinley Calendar, and so on. 25 CENTS t 1 order a Hill LET'S HAVE A VOTE! The Farm Journal is well known everywhere 5n the United States r.s crv f tt.e very lest Farm papers a perfect gem of a Family paper. It is rro'ii, not skim-milk; it is the boiled-down paper; chuck-full of c.'iuiiiou-srnv; hits the nail on the head every time. Everyone who has a horse, or cow, or pig, or chicken, or has a farm big or little, cr a trarden patch, ought to take the Farm Journal. The '"""- f 1 t that it has a round million readers bespeaks its wonderful 1 -- po llr.ri:;'. It is the one paper that guarantees its advertisers V'-"''-- t iK iiest, and protects its readers against fraud. LET'S HAVE A VOTE! It cost vou nothintr to vole. The Farm Journal tor one year costs noth Inrr: the presidents' portrait calendar costs you but 10 cents, to merely . . r a ? . : :i: 41 a cover me expense 01 priming, wrapping; tiimiiiu etc., pruviucu mat uu subscribe at the same time for The Hekald. Our clubbing- terms with the farm Journal are such that we can furnish Weekly Hekajud - $1.50. Farm Journal, ; - - JJ .50 President's portrait ca'ender, - .23 Total, .... $2.25 all for $1.60, but ten cents more than our usual subscription rate: or, if your subscription to The Hekald has been paid up in full, we will send you the Farm Journal, 1 year, the presidents portrait calendar (your chioce for president) for 3o cents. Make remittance direct to us without delay as this is a special and extraordinary offer. Don't forget in order ring calendar to state who is your choice for President, and which calendar you want, ADDRESS, E PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRBSKA. Circulation Larse, Rates Reasonable, Returns Remunerative PLATTSMOUTH HERALD Is q Weekly l9nblicqioq of seel- o iecct families flotigli- oq county. ft m KNOTT BUSINESS 3IAAA0EK. 801 Cor Fifth and Vine St. LA.TTSMOUTH - NEBRASKA Diamond Bxuto T7 - T" ' CHtCHtmit Em turn. Re a Co9 TKt 0lll ND CNVial. TktMlM'a.hntUlnMltnilD'rnM. 1m41m. at Dnia ttniin mmmh.k Dimmed Mrwnd im NeJ u4 Ud n.nwita hMMMiMtiMiiM. TaMataarkla. i rn fwinitin aav m mmmma mw wmummn. tmum mMjwirrfHunlwMlii iiDnupRi.i 1. as "trtirt fur IjuUra." m Umr. br rrmrm V bIL mum Mm mobklv. ryaafliMiiLV. POMMII OUI ecieotlflo method that cannot fall nnlaM tha fiaia la barond baman id. Ton feel Improved tba first day, fael a bene fit everf day : aoon know yonraelf a klwr amonf men In body, mind and heart. Drains and losses ended. Every obstacle to happy married life re moved. Nerve force, will, energy, brain power, when falling or lost are restored by this treat ment. All small and weak portions of the body en- Jar treed and strengthened. victims or abuses and exceaaen. rnclaim your manhood! Sufferers from folly.overwork.ill ueultn, retrain your viKor! Don't dcspalr.even If in the luat etaces. Ion't be d ixheart encd if quacks have rob bed tou. Ixt us show you that medical science and t-nainrsa honor still exist; here no hand in hand. Writ lor our lloult with explanations ft proofs, mailed aeavled free. Over referencet. EI2 MEDICAL CO. , sinTAIO, IT. 7. DIEFFENBACH'S PROTAGGN CAPSULES, fnre Cure for Weak Men,u proved by re ports of loading phy sicians. State age In ordering. Price. SI. Catalog-ae Free. A O 0 A fe and speedy Mm If If cure for Oleet, UUU Stricture and all tuinaturaldischanres. Price Sifi. CREEK SPECIFIC hiI.!i and 8k la Diseases, Hcrof nlons Hore andSyphllltle Affections, wita- ouc mercury. Price.. Order from THE PERU DBU6 & CHEMICAL GO. 139 Wisoonain Btawet, glLWAXTKES, WI3. HUMAN NATURE. Heartless Man Trifle with It LJUIe Qolet Fun. sod Bm MAKING RAINBOWS IN WINDOWS. Beautiful Effect of m Novelty Originated by a Parisian Mind. A CLEVER TRICK. There was a man at the Wabash depot the other afternoon who took a $5 bill out of bis vest pocket and spread it out on his knee and attentive ly examined it. Then he took it over to the window and held it to the pane of 'glass and examined it still more critically. Then he went back to his seat and said to the man on his right, who had become much interested, to gether with half a dozen others. "Well they say there has rot to be a first time with everybody, but I thought I had travelled far enough to cut my eye teeth." "Got stuck, ch?" iiu--.l the other, as he reached or the hill. "Well, you are not so much to blame. That bill is pretty well gotte-i u;.." "Yes, fairly well, but feel of it. Does it feel like a genuine greenback to you?" "X-o, it doesn't, t!io-ili I should never have stopped to foefof it. I can see how that it is rousrlier ami coarser." "They might have passcl that off on broader ami longer the cakes me in the nirlit," paid a second man the larger is the expanse of eolo An advertising' novelty man of con siderable prominence, from London. England, who was in this city one day last week told a friend here of seeing a clever, eye-catching novelty that has recently been originated in Paris. The fact that it is not patentable and sim ple makes it something which any merchant can produce if fte desires. As described by the Londoner the novelty is made simply by taking two thin cakes of clear ice and placing them on end in a show window with just enough space between them to ad mit of suspending a jet of irr.s. or, bet ter stin- r.r. eh in the street 11 , . J,. , ' . I r-ier to u:! lectnc light As people , j:i00 on j ,asstho window and look ; pIu(.(. t..lIl(.( iruiikeiiiiess (.: oo Liquor Habit, Positively Curer t v .DL:i-!Gf:r:i.;-3 cr. names' golden specifiu it cu;; bo given In a cup of co3ee or tea. or in ar titles cl 'ootl. without the knowledprs of tlie i.t -..-I. i t.-iking it; it irf abuoiutelv darinio-s anu wii. eflVrt a permauent ami epeeily cure, w hciht j Uie patient id a moderate ililnkt roran alrnholir wns k. it NEVFR FAILS. WeGUARAN a ooiiiinete cure in jv?rv Instance. 4a paxc r-Kfce.. Aciui ef-s in conimence ITFE Q boos erFlCCO. tHtiKo St.. Cincinnati. O iSifflSTllliS?! SCHIFFM ANN'S Asthma Cure Navar fails to pn instant relief in tba worst ana rffifU earc w.icro ollirrn imiu Trial rackag FKICE r Drur'ota or Uy 1111. . . i DR. R. SOHIFFMANM. BC PanLMIaa. Scientific Americas Ageicy fort? CAVEATS, TRADE MARKS, DESIGN PATENTS , 'fftl' COPYRIGHTS, ato. SVr Information and free Handbook write to MINN A CO-361 BROADWAY, NKW Yokk. Oldest bureau for securinfr patent In Amerioa. Every patent taken out by us Is brought before the public by a notice given free of charge In tba Scientific tncnifaw Largest circulation of any scientific paper In tba world. illustrated. No intelligent man should be without it. Weekly, 83.00 a r: SLSO six roontna. Aaaress aun.i a SL18BSRS, 361 Broadway. Mew York. Splendidly Chamberlain's Bye and Skis Ointment. A certain cure for Chronic Soto Eye? Tetter, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, 01 Chrooie Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema, Itch, Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples and Files. It is cooling and soothing. Hundreds of cases have been cured by It after all other treatment had failed, ft is put up in 25 and GO cent boes, NESSaBXADSOiiESCURED rack' InvWble Tsbalar Bar Cash. ia Vhliw. 1 I . . .11. o . , : ms -uuitini.ui.. binTruruIwli,rcallrenudlrafsll SinlJK.v m 53 Urlway, a lora. Wriu far book o( prooUTii tt who took up the bill, "but never by daylight. 1 should have spotted it at once.' "Pretty well executed, isn't it?" queried the owner. "I don't think so. The inks used were not first class, and the printiugia bad. I could tell it was queer, even if held out at arm's length." "Counterfeit, eh?" said the third man. as he took the bill in his hands. "Wall, now, I call that pooty well done. I'd a taken that bill any whar' fur a good one." "If somebody didn't take 'em fer good," said a man with a pair of steel bowed spectacles on, a1 he joined the group, "tho counterfeiters couldn't make a living. There are plenty of yahoos still alive." "Are you callin' me a yahoo?" de manded the third in:m. "I'm only speaking in a general war. I'd have spotted that among a thousand. Just one 1 '.k at. the back of it is enough for me. Wnere'd you get it?" "Can't tell," solemnly replied the owner. "You ought to be mor; careful." "Yes, 1 know." "What are you going to do with it?" "I think I'll try ami ;-:!s.? it off on someone. Let's see if the ticket man will drop to it." lie advanced to the widow, bought a ticket for a town fifty miles down the road, and the ticket man pulled in the bill made change like chain light ning. Twenty people were watching, and each drew a long breath and opened his eyes. The owner of the bill coolly pocketed the change and ticket and calmly sat down antT open ed a newspaper and began to read. It was some time before the crowd tum bled to ths fact that it had been guy ed. Then one by one, they sneaked around or went out for fresh air. All but one. It was the man who re sented being called a yahoo. He went over to the joker with" a grin on his face, slapped him on the back in a hearty way, and said: "It was a good joke, and it's jest such adventures as this that make travellin' around all-fired pleasanter to me! Come out' and have some lemonade!" Detroit Frcz Press. 3 PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Cleanse and bcautifrei itie hair. Promote a luxuriant growth. Never Fails to Beat ore Gray Hair to its TonthfuL OolorT Cure aeaip diceaac & hair tailing, f.'e.and $l.inat DTMgqnrts 3 .-X r -y L'-V-". a b-bjm Vim Mti ri ra I -- lui-ser'r dinger Tonic, it cures the worst Couh, '. j.uml's, IMhUiv, Indigcjtion, rain,Take in time. SO cU. oINSErtCORNS. The onlr sure core for Com, top all parn. lie. at Jjrugsirta, or UISCOX U CO-, X. Y. How Lost ! How Regained I (life iff; o:; thyself. ur SEliF.PRESEnvATlOH. A new and only Gold Medal PSIZB E8SAT on NBRTOC8 and PHTSICAI 'DEBILITY, EBROB8 of YOUTH, EXHAUSTED VITALITY, PRE MATURE DECLINE, and all DISEASES and.vTKAKNESSES of MAX. SO0 pages, clota, rilt; 1W invaluable preecriptiona. . , Only (1.00 y mail, donbla aaaied. Daacripdvo Proapeet. us with endorsements an r- a a crun of the Press and volnntarr tRFF I unu testunonials of the cored. Illlailaa I NOW. Consultation in person or by mail. Expert treat ment. INVIOLABLE SECRECY and CER TAIN CURE. Address Dr. W. H. Parker, or The Pa body Medical Inatituta, No. 4 Bulfinch St., Boston, Mass. The Peabody Medieat Institate baa many Imi tators, but no eqnal. Jerald. The BcieDee of Life, or Self-Preaervation, ia a treasure more valuable than gold. Read H now, every WEAK and NERVOUS man, and learn to be STRONG . Xtdicul Jictietc. (CopviightedJ GRATK VL, COM PORTING Epps Cocoa BREAKFAST 'By a thorough knowledge of t! natural laws which , irovern the otiemtious of digestion and nutrition, and ova careful aDtltoaiion of the fine propnit Ih of well selec'ert Cocoa, Mr.' Kpft has provided our breakfast table with a delicately flavored beverage which may save us many heavy doctor' bills. Itisbv;the judic ious use of snch article of diet thnt a cod sitution may be gradually built up until strong enoU!ih to resist every tendency to disease. Hundred of subtle -"eladles are floiitin ir around as ready to attack wherever there is a week point. We may escape many a fatal shaft by keepinjf ourcelves well forritied with pure bloo and a properly nourished frame." Ctvll Service tiaette. Malosi simplv with boiling water or nulk, S.!d only hi half-oouud tin, bv eroeris. labelled t!i JAMIfs EPPS DO.. MotnM-otmthic Chemist London. Knland HE WAS A PLAIN, UNLETTERED MAN. Bat He Had Some Good Ideas About the Management of Savages. Capt. Thomas Iiyrne, or "Old Tom my," as he was affectionately called by all his associates, had at one time charge of the Hualpais, a tribe ot In lian settled in Northwestern Arizona Old Tommy, perhaps from his "delud herm tongue, hail an almost mi raeulolis ascendency oyer the chiefs and head men of this tribe, and, thouerr his native eloquence was seconded only by the scantiest allowances of rations from the subsistence stores of the camp, he was loved and truster by these childlike allies. To hear him coaxing back a sulky warrior to good humor was something to be lonp- re- mem bereil. "Come, now," he has been heard to say, "shure, phat is the matter wid ye? Have yes iver axed me for anythin' that (Ji did n t promise it to yezr Yet Tommy's promises were always kept. Suddenly one day the Hualpais, like a Hash of lightning out of a clear sky, went on the warpath and tired on the ajrencv buildings before leaving for their old stronghold in the Canon of the Colorado. No one knew the causo of their sudden treachery, and Tommy Byrne was one of those who realized how much it would cost Uncle Sam in blood and treasure if the outbreak were not stopped at once. Without waiting; for his spirited little horse to be saddled he threw him self soross its back and swept out into the hills after the fugitives. When the Hualpias saw the cloud of dust co ing they blazed into it, but Torn' was untouched, and dashed gallan up, his horse white with foam, to tn.. knot of chiefs who stood awaiting him. At first the Indians were sullen, but they soon melted enough to tell the story of their grievances. The new agent had been robbing them in the most baiefaced manner, and in their ignorance they imagined it to be Capt. Uy rue's duty to regulate ull the affairs in his camp. They did nut want to hurt him and would let him go safely back, but for them there was nothing but the warpath. "Come back with me," said Tommy gently,"! will see that you are righted." Back they went, following that one unarmed man. Straight " to the beef scales proceeded the officer, and in a few minutes he had detected the man ner in which false weight had been secured by tampering with the poise. A Texas steer, which would not weigh more than 800 pounds, stood at 1,700, and of course other articles followed in the same ratio. Tommy seized upon the agency and took charge; the Hualpais were per fectly satisfied, and the agent left that night for California. Thus was a bitter war averted by Hie prompt action of a plain, unlettered man. who had no ideas about managing savages bej'ond that of treating them with kindness and justice. at the illiimiiiHle.I ice it ..OUCllfS lis though a succession of rain bo ' ur prisms of brilliant colors were radiat ing therefrom. The brilliancy of 1 lie colors obtained and the scale of their radiation depends ou the thinness, clearness, and grain of the ice. The s of ice rs. A similar though less brilliant effect was obtained by one shopkeeper.whose display the Londoner spoke of, by standing two panes of glass side by side, half or quarter of an inch apart, then, after boxing up the ends with a strips of glass or wood, tilling the space between the panes with finely cracked ice and suspending an electric light or gas-jet midway behind the contrivance, always taking care that the glasses are entirely free from dust or dirt before being used. One lirm in Paris big dealers in precious stones made use of the ice on an elaborate scale. Large sheets of plate glass were used ami the cracked ice was sown with hundreds of dia monds, sapphires, and rubies, thus heightening the effect to a degree of startling brillancy, the. temperature of the window being kept sufficiently warm to prevent frost forming on the glasses. The forming of a light frost on the glass case thus made is not detrimental to gaining the desired ef fect ordinarily, however, though it needs but a thought to see that its formation would prevent obtaining ad ditional effect from any precious stones that might be placed within the case. CALLED FORTH THE EVIL ONE. How a Convivial Company Rid Itself an Objectionable Member. ot One night not long ago a group of kindred spirits were gathered in an upper room at the house of one of the number, the women of the household being absent for the evening. The tide of merriment was flowing genially when they were joined by an undesir able young man who may be called Brown, as that was not his name. They cast about among themselves as to how they could get rid of him with out giving offense, and one of the number suddenly bethought himself of a masquerade costume he had con structed, with much labor and thought, to represent the Father of Darkness. Hastily whispering his plan to his friends, continues the N. Y. Tribune, he quietly slipped away from the house, and hurrying home donned the suit and returned. Knocking at the door, he inquired of the person who answered the summons if "Brown" was within. "Yes; step up-stairs and you will find him," was the reply. With much clanking of chains and clattering of hoofs he slowly mounted the stairs and entered the room where the company was gathered, inquiring for Brown. There was a scene of indescribable confusion, the well-simulated terror of the rest rendering the uninitiated young man almost helpless from fright; all he was able to do was to roll under the table. At last the others made a rush for the window and, one by one, dropped to the ground below. As the last one climbed through the window Brown, who did not desire to be left alone with his satanie majesty, made a dash at him, caught him in his arms, and with the strength of terror drew him back and Hung him across the room. Then leaping himself from the window he started for home at a rate of speed which a sprinter might well envy. At every stride he would cry out until his voice was lost in the dis tance: "Please, Mr. Satan, don't take me yet; please don't take me just yet!" The jokers returned to the room weak with laughter, and they have never since been troubled bv a call from Brown, who still persists that the evil one in person had sought him on that occasion. How tha Killers of a tiamakeaper In Ire land Saved Their Necka. "See that man in the corner of the carP" said a gentleman to a Boston (Hole, man in a Back Bay car one even ing last week. "Iook hi in over quick ly, for he will get out at the next stop. The man referred to was of medium height, well dressed, had a determined expression, and would pass as a busi ness man. "That man," continued the speaker, "figured in one of the most sen -at ional murders ever committed in Ireland, and he escaped by one of the c!e crest tricks known to the human mind. 1 r tcr to the siiootuiir aluav that took ord ( lifti.n's c.staie in a place tailed Brandon llill, otinly Kilkenny, Aug. 7, 1SSS, when thy poachers and live gamekeepers came together, and before they separated oik- iiicm .1-. !' of each parly v, as si i etch ed on the field dying'. "One of the gamekeepers who pur sued the poachers was more venture some than the rest ami started out in advance of his companions. Alter wandering about, for an hour he was startled by a handsome bird dog bounding toward him. A moment later the dog lay struggling at his feet with a handful of biiek.hot in his head and brea.-t. The discharge of the gun attracted one of the poachers named Pat Burns, who emerged from the cover, gun in hand, his face cocred with a mask. "Burns asked: 'Did vou shoot that dog!-" Welch replied:" 'Yes, "and if you don't look out I will also shoot you.' Burns did not scare worth a cent, but bent down on one knee and examined the dog's wounds. When he got up Welch had a bead on him. Welch was about to pull the trigger of his gun when a report rang out in the bushes near by and Welch, the game keeper, was lvingon the ground with a load of shot in his head. "The noise attraeicd other game keepers, who took it for granted t hat Burns was tint man who had shot their comrade, and they at once opened tiro ou him. He attempted to escape, but the blood was running from his wounds and ItH) yards distant he fell from ex haustion. A rapid exchange of shots followed and the poachers were driven back. The keepers gave up the chase to care for their fallen comrade.Welch, who was in awful agony. Burns, tho wounded poacher, would probably have survived, but one of the keepers pulled the bandage off his wounded leg, and he lived only an hour, having bled to death. Welch, the keeper, died at the end of the eighth day. "Kilkenny jail was crowded with sus pects a week after the shooting took place. After the shooting the poach ers took to the mountains. A surgeon was called to vaccinate a child in the neighborhood. The poachers kent watch of the child, and when the prop er time came took the virus, and after scraping the flesh around their shot wounds they inoculated themselves. The result was the shot-wounds were completely covered with cowpox marks. The poachers were finally ar rested and lodged in Kilkennny jail When the wounds on their arms were discovered experts were called in to examine them, but after a most crit ical examination lasting all day the men were released. "That man I pointed out to you," continued the speaker, "is one of the two men who evaded justice so clever ly. I came to this country six months later than he did and was astonished to find him engaged in a lucrative business. A Matter of Pride. Small Boy "I wanter take gas." Dentist "It is not usual to admin ister gas for milk tooth, my boy. It won't hurt but an instant." "You've gotter gimme gas or I won't have it pulled." "You shouldn't be so afraid of being hurt. Now sit right up here like a little man." "I ain't 'fraid of bein' hurt. Tain't that. I'm afraid I can't help givin' a screech when it conies out." 'That won't matter." "Yes, it will, too. All th' boys wot I've ever licked is waitin' under th' winder to hear me holler." Good AtlV.i. Complex Domestic Relations. The gayety and brilliance of the ball at the Chinese Assembly last night will afford the srossipers of the clubs and drawing-rooms food for a week. One incident that occurred is being told everywhere to-day with much en joyment. The ladies at the ball were particularly interested in a little Chi nese woman who sat in the big front hall near one of the dressing-rooms, holding in her arms a fresh and pretty baby of undoubted Mongolian parent age. One ot the oeaus ot tne party undertook to alla- the curiosity of a bevy of beauties who were standing about the interesting pair by question ing an attache who stood near. The guest asked: "Is the lady in the parlor with the receiving party tne wile ot tne hosti" "O, yes," was the prompt reply. "Then who is the little lady with the child in her arms?" the guest asked. "Lady in parlor wife for show; this one wile ior DaDy, promptly an nounced the attache. No more questions were asked of him. Washington Letter. The Asteroids. The asteroids that lie between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter have be come so difficult to keep track of, since they have been discovered at the rate of about twenty a year, that astrono mers have recently sJecided to reject them, excepting the nearest and the most distant. The latter are impor- mt in observations of Jupiter, while the nearer ones are useful in more ac curate calculations of the earth's dis tance from the sun. Unrequitteil Ijovo. They are telling a story on a young man in Detroit, which somehow has only recently got into the current gossip. It appears that during the past summer he put in a month at a lake resort in the north west, and there fell in love with a girL who didn't believe in reciprocity. His persistence, however, was in no wise abated by a little thing like that. One day the girl fell off the dock into the lake, and the young man, being some what of an athlete and a swimmer, jumped in and rescued her without much difficulty. "Now," he said, as he stood drip ping on the dock. "I have saved your life and you must marry me." "Marry you?" she repeated in be wilderment. "Must I?" "It's as little as you could do," he whispered, putting out his hands to her. She gave him one look as he stood there all draggled ami sloppy, and with a smothered" shriek she plunged into the flood once more. The next time she was rescued by a boy in a boat, and the young man was so mad he sent a bill to her father for a new suit of clothes. Detroit Free Press. Change in Latitudes. A few years ago it was suspected that the latitude of places on the earth's surface changes. A nnmber of astronomers agreed to make obser vations for two years and the result has just been made public. ' Latitudes do change. Berlin, for example, was 60 feet nearer the north pole in Sep tember than it was in March. This change is not of course, a shifting of any one point on the earth's surface. It is a tilting of the axis of the earth. The Empress Eugene paid J,00 francs ($200) an ounce for a braid of. hair that exactly matched her own.