Who Shall be President?
Is it Harrison?
Is it Blaine?
Is it Cleveland?
Is It Hill ?
hi
OR IS THERE ANY OTHER flAN YOU WANT FOR PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES?
NAME YOUR CHOICE !
designed and printed a beautiful Counting House
Calendar for 1892, containing portraits of the leading
Presidential possibilities : Cleveland, Harrison, Hili,
Blaine, McKinley, Gorman, Boies, Rusk, and Crisp, also Postmaster-Genen
Wanamaker. lhcsc
portraits are in
themselves1eautiful
works of art, really
splendid pictures,
FARM
JOURNAL
as fine as any steel
engraving, and in
no way an adver
tisement. They will
be an ornament to
50 CENTS
any parlor, or office,
wall, cr desk, and
J! yna are
Calendar;
Calendar ;
This space Is occupied
with engraved portrait of either
HARRISON, CLEVELAND,
BLAINE. HILL, CRISP,
WANAMAKER, McKINLEY.
GORMAN, RUSK, BOIES.
Whichever you may select.
JANUARY
S M T W T F
1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
IO 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 192021 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31
PORTRAIT
after the Calendar
is done are suitable
for framing. They
are sold, with or
without the Cal-
CALENDAR
endar, for 25 cents
each, to non-subscribers
to Farm
Journal.
This is a miniature of the Calendar.
The site ts 5J4 by 9J4 inches.
a. Cleveland man you will want a Cleveland
if a Blaine man order a Blaine Calendar; if a Hill man
if a McKinley man order a McKinley Calendar, and so on.
25 CENTS t
1
order a Hill
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is rro'ii, not skim-milk; it is the boiled-down paper; chuck-full of
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cr a trarden patch, ought to take the Farm Journal. The
'"""- f 1 t that it has a round million readers bespeaks its wonderful
1 -- po llr.ri:;'. It is the one paper that guarantees its advertisers
V'-"''-- t iK iiest, and protects its readers against fraud.
LET'S HAVE A VOTE!
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. . r a ? . : :i: 41 a
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subscribe at the same time for The Hekald. Our clubbing- terms with
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Total, .... $2.25
all for $1.60, but ten cents more than our usual subscription rate: or, if
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chioce for president) for 3o cents. Make remittance direct to us without
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Don't forget in order ring calendar to state who is your choice
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ADDRESS,
E
PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRBSKA.
Circulation Larse,
Rates
Reasonable,
Returns Remunerative
PLATTSMOUTH HERALD
Is q Weekly l9nblicqioq of
seel- o iecct families flotigli-
oq county.
ft m
KNOTT
BUSINESS 3IAAA0EK.
801 Cor Fifth and Vine St.
LA.TTSMOUTH - NEBRASKA
Diamond Bxuto
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hMMMiMtiMiiM. TaMataarkla. i rn fwinitin
aav m mmmma mw wmummn. tmum
mMjwirrfHunlwMlii iiDnupRi.i
1. as "trtirt fur IjuUra." m Umr. br rrmrm
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id. Ton feel Improved
tba first day, fael a bene
fit everf day : aoon know
yonraelf a klwr amonf
men In body, mind and
heart. Drains and losses
ended. Every obstacle
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moved. Nerve force,
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ment. All small and weak
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victims or abuses and
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retrain your viKor! Don't
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etaces. Ion't be d ixheart
encd if quacks have rob
bed tou. Ixt us show you
that medical science and
t-nainrsa honor still exist; here no hand in hand.
Writ lor our lloult with explanations ft proofs,
mailed aeavled free. Over referencet.
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139 Wisoonain Btawet, glLWAXTKES, WI3.
HUMAN NATURE.
Heartless Man Trifle with It
LJUIe Qolet Fun.
sod Bm
MAKING RAINBOWS IN WINDOWS.
Beautiful Effect of m Novelty Originated
by a Parisian Mind.
A
CLEVER
TRICK.
There was a man at the Wabash
depot the other afternoon who took a
$5 bill out of bis vest pocket and
spread it out on his knee and attentive
ly examined it. Then he took it over
to the window and held it to the pane
of 'glass and examined it still more
critically. Then he went back to his
seat and said to the man on his right,
who had become much interested, to
gether with half a dozen others.
"Well they say there has rot to be a
first time with everybody, but I
thought I had travelled far enough to
cut my eye teeth."
"Got stuck, ch?" iiu--.l the other,
as he reached or the hill. "Well, you
are not so much to blame. That bill is
pretty well gotte-i u;.."
"Yes, fairly well, but feel of it. Does
it feel like a genuine greenback to
you?"
"X-o, it doesn't, t!io-ili I should
never have stopped to foefof it. I can
see how that it is rousrlier ami coarser."
"They might have passcl that off on broader ami longer the cakes
me in the nirlit," paid a second man the larger is the expanse of eolo
An advertising' novelty man of con
siderable prominence, from London.
England, who was in this city one day
last week told a friend here of seeing
a clever, eye-catching novelty that has
recently been originated in Paris. The
fact that it is not patentable and sim
ple makes it something which any
merchant can produce if fte desires.
As described by the Londoner the
novelty is made simply by taking two
thin cakes of clear ice and placing
them on end in a show window with
just enough space between them to ad
mit of suspending a jet of irr.s. or, bet
ter stin- r.r. eh
in the street 11
, . J,. , ' . I r-ier to u:!
lectnc light As people , j:i00 on j
,asstho window and look ; pIu(.(. t..lIl(.(
iruiikeiiiiess
(.: oo Liquor Habit, Positively Curer
t v .DL:i-!Gf:r:i.;-3 cr. names' golden specifiu
it cu;; bo given In a cup of co3ee or tea. or in ar
titles cl 'ootl. without the knowledprs of tlie i.t
-..-I. i t.-iking it; it irf abuoiutelv darinio-s anu wii.
eflVrt a permauent ami epeeily cure, w hciht j
Uie patient id a moderate ililnkt roran alrnholir
wns k. it NEVFR FAILS. WeGUARAN
a ooiiiinete cure in jv?rv Instance. 4a paxc
r-Kfce.. Aciui ef-s in conimence
ITFE
Q boos
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SCHIFFM ANN'S Asthma Cure
Navar fails to pn instant relief in tba worst
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Trial rackag FKICE r Drur'ota or Uy 1111. . .
i DR. R. SOHIFFMANM. BC PanLMIaa.
Scientific Americas
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Every patent taken out by us Is brought before
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ia Vhliw. 1 I . . .11.
o . , : ms -uuitini.ui..
binTruruIwli,rcallrenudlrafsll SinlJK.v m
53 Urlway, a lora. Wriu far book o( prooUTii tt
who took up the bill, "but never by
daylight. 1 should have spotted it at
once.'
"Pretty well executed, isn't it?"
queried the owner.
"I don't think so. The inks used were
not first class, and the printiugia bad.
I could tell it was queer, even if held
out at arm's length."
"Counterfeit, eh?" said the third
man. as he took the bill in his hands.
"Wall, now, I call that pooty well
done. I'd a taken that bill any whar'
fur a good one."
"If somebody didn't take 'em fer
good," said a man with a pair of steel
bowed spectacles on, a1 he joined the
group, "tho counterfeiters couldn't
make a living. There are plenty of
yahoos still alive."
"Are you callin' me a yahoo?" de
manded the third in:m.
"I'm only speaking in a general war.
I'd have spotted that among a
thousand. Just one 1 '.k at. the back
of it is enough for me. Wnere'd you
get it?"
"Can't tell," solemnly replied the
owner.
"You ought to be mor; careful."
"Yes, 1 know."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"I think I'll try ami ;-:!s.? it off on
someone. Let's see if the ticket man
will drop to it."
lie advanced to the widow, bought
a ticket for a town fifty miles down
the road, and the ticket man pulled in
the bill made change like chain light
ning. Twenty people were watching,
and each drew a long breath and
opened his eyes. The owner of the
bill coolly pocketed the change and
ticket and calmly sat down antT open
ed a newspaper and began to read. It
was some time before the crowd tum
bled to ths fact that it had been guy
ed. Then one by one, they sneaked
around or went out for fresh air. All
but one. It was the man who re
sented being called a yahoo. He went
over to the joker with" a grin on his
face, slapped him on the back in a
hearty way, and said:
"It was a good joke, and it's jest
such adventures as this that make
travellin' around all-fired pleasanter
to me! Come out' and have some
lemonade!" Detroit Frcz Press.
3
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The BcieDee of Life, or Self-Preaervation, ia a
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GRATK VL, COM PORTING
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BREAKFAST
'By a thorough knowledge of t! natural
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delicately flavored beverage which may save
us many heavy doctor' bills. Itisbv;the judic
ious use of snch article of diet thnt a cod
sitution may be gradually built up until strong
enoU!ih to resist every tendency to disease.
Hundred of subtle -"eladles are floiitin ir
around as ready to attack wherever there is a
week point. We may escape many a fatal
shaft by keepinjf ourcelves well forritied with
pure bloo and a properly nourished frame."
Ctvll Service tiaette. Malosi simplv with
boiling water or nulk, S.!d only hi half-oouud
tin, bv eroeris. labelled t!i
JAMIfs EPPS DO.. MotnM-otmthic Chemist
London. Knland
HE WAS A PLAIN, UNLETTERED MAN.
Bat He Had Some Good Ideas About the
Management of Savages.
Capt. Thomas Iiyrne, or "Old Tom
my," as he was affectionately called by
all his associates, had at one time
charge of the Hualpais, a tribe ot In
lian settled in Northwestern Arizona
Old Tommy, perhaps from his "delud
herm tongue, hail an almost mi
raeulolis ascendency oyer the chiefs and
head men of this tribe, and, thouerr
his native eloquence was seconded
only by the scantiest allowances of
rations from the subsistence stores of
the camp, he was loved and truster
by these childlike allies. To hear him
coaxing back a sulky warrior to good
humor was something to be lonp- re-
mem bereil.
"Come, now," he has been heard to
say, "shure, phat is the matter wid ye?
Have yes iver axed me for anythin'
that (Ji did n t promise it to yezr
Yet Tommy's promises were always
kept.
Suddenly one day the Hualpais, like
a Hash of lightning out of a clear sky,
went on the warpath and tired on the
ajrencv buildings before leaving for
their old stronghold in the Canon of
the Colorado. No one knew the causo
of their sudden treachery, and Tommy
Byrne was one of those who realized
how much it would cost Uncle Sam in
blood and treasure if the outbreak
were not stopped at once.
Without waiting; for his spirited
little horse to be saddled he threw him
self soross its back and swept out into
the hills after the fugitives. When the
Hualpias saw the cloud of dust co
ing they blazed into it, but Torn'
was untouched, and dashed gallan
up, his horse white with foam, to tn..
knot of chiefs who stood awaiting him.
At first the Indians were sullen, but
they soon melted enough to tell the
story of their grievances. The new
agent had been robbing them in the
most baiefaced manner, and in their
ignorance they imagined it to be Capt.
Uy rue's duty to regulate ull the affairs
in his camp. They did nut want to
hurt him and would let him go safely
back, but for them there was nothing
but the warpath.
"Come back with me," said Tommy
gently,"! will see that you are righted."
Back they went, following that one
unarmed man. Straight " to the beef
scales proceeded the officer, and in a
few minutes he had detected the man
ner in which false weight had been
secured by tampering with the poise.
A Texas steer, which would not weigh
more than 800 pounds, stood at 1,700,
and of course other articles followed in
the same ratio.
Tommy seized upon the agency and
took charge; the Hualpais were per
fectly satisfied, and the agent left that
night for California. Thus was a bitter
war averted by Hie prompt action of a
plain, unlettered man. who had no
ideas about managing savages bej'ond
that of treating them with kindness
and justice.
at the illiimiiiHle.I ice it ..OUCllfS lis
though a succession of rain bo ' ur
prisms of brilliant colors were radiat
ing therefrom. The brilliancy of 1 lie
colors obtained and the scale of their
radiation depends ou the thinness,
clearness, and grain of the ice. The
s of ice
rs.
A similar though less brilliant effect
was obtained by one shopkeeper.whose
display the Londoner spoke of, by
standing two panes of glass side by
side, half or quarter of an inch apart,
then, after boxing up the ends with a
strips of glass or wood, tilling the space
between the panes with finely cracked
ice and suspending an electric light or
gas-jet midway behind the contrivance,
always taking care that the glasses are
entirely free from dust or dirt before
being used.
One lirm in Paris big dealers in
precious stones made use of the ice
on an elaborate scale. Large sheets of
plate glass were used ami the cracked
ice was sown with hundreds of dia
monds, sapphires, and rubies, thus
heightening the effect to a degree of
startling brillancy, the. temperature
of the window being kept sufficiently
warm to prevent frost forming on the
glasses. The forming of a light frost
on the glass case thus made is not
detrimental to gaining the desired ef
fect ordinarily, however, though it
needs but a thought to see that its
formation would prevent obtaining ad
ditional effect from any precious stones
that might be placed within the case.
CALLED FORTH THE EVIL ONE.
How a Convivial Company Rid Itself
an Objectionable Member.
ot
One night not long ago a group of
kindred spirits were gathered in an
upper room at the house of one of the
number, the women of the household
being absent for the evening. The
tide of merriment was flowing genially
when they were joined by an undesir
able young man who may be called
Brown, as that was not his name.
They cast about among themselves as
to how they could get rid of him with
out giving offense, and one of the
number suddenly bethought himself
of a masquerade costume he had con
structed, with much labor and thought,
to represent the Father of Darkness.
Hastily whispering his plan to his
friends, continues the N. Y. Tribune,
he quietly slipped away from the
house, and hurrying home donned the
suit and returned. Knocking at the
door, he inquired of the person who
answered the summons if "Brown" was
within.
"Yes; step up-stairs and you will
find him," was the reply. With much
clanking of chains and clattering of
hoofs he slowly mounted the stairs and
entered the room where the company
was gathered, inquiring for Brown.
There was a scene of indescribable
confusion, the well-simulated terror of
the rest rendering the uninitiated
young man almost helpless from fright;
all he was able to do was to roll under
the table. At last the others made a
rush for the window and, one by one,
dropped to the ground below. As the
last one climbed through the window
Brown, who did not desire to be left
alone with his satanie majesty, made a
dash at him, caught him in his arms,
and with the strength of terror drew
him back and Hung him across the
room. Then leaping himself from the
window he started for home at a rate
of speed which a sprinter might well
envy. At every stride he would cry
out until his voice was lost in the dis
tance: "Please, Mr. Satan, don't take me
yet; please don't take me just yet!"
The jokers returned to the room
weak with laughter, and they have
never since been troubled bv a call
from Brown, who still persists that the
evil one in person had sought him on
that occasion.
How tha Killers of a tiamakeaper In Ire
land Saved Their Necka.
"See that man in the corner of the
carP" said a gentleman to a Boston
(Hole, man in a Back Bay car one even
ing last week. "Iook hi in over quick
ly, for he will get out at the next stop.
The man referred to was of medium
height, well dressed, had a determined
expression, and would pass as a busi
ness man.
"That man," continued the speaker,
"figured in one of the most sen -at ional
murders ever committed in Ireland,
and he escaped by one of the c!e crest
tricks known to the human mind. 1
r tcr to the siiootuiir aluav that took
ord ( lifti.n's c.staie in a
place tailed Brandon llill, otinly
Kilkenny, Aug. 7, 1SSS, when thy
poachers and live gamekeepers came
together, and before they separated
oik- iiicm .1-. !' of each parly v, as si i etch
ed on the field dying'.
"One of the gamekeepers who pur
sued the poachers was more venture
some than the rest ami started out in
advance of his companions. Alter
wandering about, for an hour he was
startled by a handsome bird dog
bounding toward him. A moment
later the dog lay struggling at his feet
with a handful of biiek.hot in his head
and brea.-t. The discharge of the gun
attracted one of the poachers named
Pat Burns, who emerged from the
cover, gun in hand, his face cocred
with a mask.
"Burns asked: 'Did vou shoot that
dog!-" Welch replied:" 'Yes, "and if
you don't look out I will also shoot
you.' Burns did not scare worth a
cent, but bent down on one knee and
examined the dog's wounds. When
he got up Welch had a bead on him.
Welch was about to pull the trigger of
his gun when a report rang out in the
bushes near by and Welch, the game
keeper, was lvingon the ground with
a load of shot in his head.
"The noise attraeicd other game
keepers, who took it for granted t hat
Burns was tint man who had shot their
comrade, and they at once opened tiro
ou him. He attempted to escape, but
the blood was running from his wounds
and ItH) yards distant he fell from ex
haustion. A rapid exchange of shots
followed and the poachers were driven
back. The keepers gave up the chase
to care for their fallen comrade.Welch,
who was in awful agony. Burns, tho
wounded poacher, would probably
have survived, but one of the keepers
pulled the bandage off his wounded
leg, and he lived only an hour, having
bled to death. Welch, the keeper,
died at the end of the eighth day.
"Kilkenny jail was crowded with sus
pects a week after the shooting took
place. After the shooting the poach
ers took to the mountains. A surgeon
was called to vaccinate a child in the
neighborhood. The poachers kent
watch of the child, and when the prop
er time came took the virus, and after
scraping the flesh around their shot
wounds they inoculated themselves.
The result was the shot-wounds were
completely covered with cowpox
marks. The poachers were finally ar
rested and lodged in Kilkennny jail
When the wounds on their arms were
discovered experts were called in to
examine them, but after a most crit
ical examination lasting all day the
men were released.
"That man I pointed out to you,"
continued the speaker, "is one of the
two men who evaded justice so clever
ly. I came to this country six months
later than he did and was astonished
to find him engaged in a lucrative
business.
A Matter of Pride.
Small Boy "I wanter take gas."
Dentist "It is not usual to admin
ister gas for milk tooth, my boy. It
won't hurt but an instant."
"You've gotter gimme gas or I won't
have it pulled."
"You shouldn't be so afraid of being
hurt. Now sit right up here like a
little man."
"I ain't 'fraid of bein' hurt. Tain't
that. I'm afraid I can't help givin' a
screech when it conies out."
'That won't matter."
"Yes, it will, too. All th' boys wot
I've ever licked is waitin' under th'
winder to hear me holler." Good
AtlV.i.
Complex Domestic Relations.
The gayety and brilliance of the ball
at the Chinese Assembly last night
will afford the srossipers of the clubs
and drawing-rooms food for a week.
One incident that occurred is being
told everywhere to-day with much en
joyment. The ladies at the ball were
particularly interested in a little Chi
nese woman who sat in the big front
hall near one of the dressing-rooms,
holding in her arms a fresh and pretty
baby of undoubted Mongolian parent
age. One ot the oeaus ot tne party
undertook to alla- the curiosity of a
bevy of beauties who were standing
about the interesting pair by question
ing an attache who stood near. The
guest asked:
"Is the lady in the parlor with the
receiving party tne wile ot tne hosti"
"O, yes," was the prompt reply.
"Then who is the little lady with the
child in her arms?" the guest asked.
"Lady in parlor wife for show; this
one wile ior DaDy, promptly an
nounced the attache.
No more questions were asked of
him. Washington Letter.
The Asteroids.
The asteroids that lie between the
orbits of Mars and Jupiter have be
come so difficult to keep track of, since
they have been discovered at the rate
of about twenty a year, that astrono
mers have recently sJecided to reject
them, excepting the nearest and the
most distant. The latter are impor-
mt in observations of Jupiter, while
the nearer ones are useful in more ac
curate calculations of the earth's dis
tance from the sun.
Unrequitteil Ijovo.
They are telling a story on a young
man in Detroit, which somehow has
only recently got into the current
gossip. It appears that during
the past summer he put in a
month at a lake resort in the north
west, and there fell in love with a girL
who didn't believe in reciprocity. His
persistence, however, was in no wise
abated by a little thing like that. One
day the girl fell off the dock into the
lake, and the young man, being some
what of an athlete and a swimmer,
jumped in and rescued her without
much difficulty.
"Now," he said, as he stood drip
ping on the dock. "I have saved your
life and you must marry me."
"Marry you?" she repeated in be
wilderment. "Must I?"
"It's as little as you could do," he
whispered, putting out his hands to
her.
She gave him one look as he stood
there all draggled ami sloppy, and
with a smothered" shriek she plunged
into the flood once more.
The next time she was rescued by a
boy in a boat, and the young man was
so mad he sent a bill to her father for
a new suit of clothes. Detroit Free
Press.
Change in Latitudes.
A few years ago it was suspected
that the latitude of places on the
earth's surface changes. A nnmber
of astronomers agreed to make obser
vations for two years and the result
has just been made public. ' Latitudes
do change. Berlin, for example, was
60 feet nearer the north pole in Sep
tember than it was in March. This
change is not of course, a shifting of
any one point on the earth's surface.
It is a tilting of the axis of the earth.
The Empress Eugene paid J,00
francs ($200) an ounce for a braid of.
hair that exactly matched her own.