TIMOTHY CLARK. DEALER IN COAL "WOOD oTKKMS CASIIo Trda and Oftlce 404 South Third Street. Telephone It. PLATTSMOUTII, Nebraska. 3D R. A. SALISBURY : DENTIST :- GOLI AMI PORCELAIN CROWNS. Br. Kielnways ana-sthetlc for the painlees ex traction f teeth. Fine Gold Work a Specialty, ockwoo.l Hloek I'lattsjiiuuth.N'eb AWSON & PEARCE HAVE RECEIVED Tlieir K;i'l s'titws f;iii-v tIMm-I'i. t'p '' I'IH' ; iso ,i l.r I:imM cone Miape liatn in straw it fe 'I li'-y h vea full line i Ialv li-! aii'l In or ier t. i lnse M stork ut hve re duced ih-ii Mr w -nil r h:l to 1(1 and to 7ft c 1st rimmed. MISS SKYLES, TRIMMER. J . mrjNT jNT .Always lias on band a full stock of FLOUR AM) FEED, Corn. Hran. SliortH Oats ami Haled Jlay for Hale as low as the lowest and delivered to any part of the city. CORNER SIXTH AND VINE Plattsmouth, - - Nebraska. J ULIUS PKl'I'lvKUKKG. M A N I HAf'TC It K OK A T UIWLEE1LB 11W RETAIL UKALFK IN TH K CHOICEST BRANDS OF CIGARS Fl'l L. LINK OF TOBACCO AND SMOKE.-.'s ARTICLES always in stock o - Plattsmouth, - - Nebrassa Shorthand AND TYPEWRITING COI.LEGE Plattsmouth, Nebraska. -o- There are thousands of yourar ladies, pewinjj irirls. m h- ol leathers ole"ks. t tc who reeking oilt rn exisfet ce on a sal-iy barely sufla-ii nt to supply their very ) y w n:s. I'.v roinph mi: a course in short hand an 1 by tliiisliig tli y cant mii f : in ?4o to $150 per Bioutli . H'ua ions irir ri-lite-1 to eompeteiit si udeiits ImJiiliMi.il iiiHtria-tioii. in w type tilers. DAY AND EVENING SESSIONS ICooms over Mayer? More. TVTEA7 M LV KEfJ ' SIXTH STREET " F. II. ELLHNHAUM, Prop. The best of fresh meat always found in this market. Also fresh Eggs and Hutter. Wild panic of all kinds kept in their season. "IP SIXTH STREET Meat 1 1 : : ZDIEZLSTTISTIRY GOLD AND PORCKLAIN CKOWNS Bridge work and fine gold work a SPECIALTY. OK.STKINAC8 LOCAL as well as other an estheticsgiven lor the painless extraction of teeth. C. A. MARSHALL, - Fitzgerald P'ocv- Lumber Yard THE OLD RELIABLE. II. A. IATEM0 S SOS P1HF LUMBER ! Shingles, Lath, Sasb, Doors, Blinds Can supply everw demand of the city. Call and get terms. Fourth street in rear of opera house. THE METHODS OF GEORGE. How th Country Himplotnn Amol tha VllUtf. and Spoiic1" Orlnk. Every country place has its queer character. uually several of tlieui. and he amusement of tiie natives is large ly confined to the eccentric sayings and actions of those: same natural jest ers. The humor ij all the more droll because it is absolutely free from any attempt at drollery. Luckily il is for rural inhabitants that nature provides this form of enter tainment, as otherwise they would run a very good chance of stagnating iu t!:i serious pool of life and uever get ting l ho benefit of a smile to soften their faces. And so George Stowe in his humble way was quite a benelirent gleam f light in the sombre life of a little Ver mont hamlet. George was of uncer tain age ami of uncertain mental ca pacity. He seeuieil simple, but iu reality he was cmlowed with a full share of shrewd Yankee cunniug. He eked out a precarious livelihood by driving a hack to the railway station aul trailing on his deafness. Noboilv really knew whether George was deaf or not. When a man dun ned him he was as deaf as a post, and at other times when tie tried he eoul I hear a whispered conversation carried on in the back of his coacn. It was al ways unwise to put any confidence iu George's infirmity. George also drank stale and bewild ering draughts of beer such as is al ways served iu Vermont whenever he could inveigle any one to buying it for him. The wicked railroad restaurant was about the only oiace iu town where it could be hail, and there George waited and plauued traps for Die unwary. Wiiat'll you have. George?" asked stranirer whom he had just brought down from the village, "a glass of beer or a piece of pie?" Yes. sir. thank vnu." reolied George, affecting to misunderstand the 1'iesiioii. ril drink toe beer and take tilt; pie right in my hand." Another favorite coup of George's was whenever any one said '"Good day" to It i in to promptly reply: Yes. thank you; dou't care if I do." ami steer straight away for the bar. Anl George worked this bit of di plomacy so often and nn successfully that i e was in danirer of becoming a scandal in the Puritanical community throng his teudencv toward a coli cs ditiou of inebriation. Oueday while rid ing down to the station with a deacon of the church George was seized with a fit of repentance. Deacon." said he. "I would like to brace up and do better stop drinking and show all the folks th-u 1 am a rooi deal more of a man than they thought. 1 can do it if I iry. I know, only, you see. I have said I was going to stop so many limes and didn't do it that they wou't none of them believe me now." I am very glad to hear it; but how cau you convince them?" "I've got an idea. Now wheu we gel down to the station you ask me to nave a drink, and then I'll have a chance to refuse right before them all and show them tnat I mean business this time." All right. George; we'll do it. and 1 hope you'll slick to your good inten tions." They rcac'ied the depot and went in to the eating room. A large crowd was there wa'niuir for the train. The deacon iu his brisk and hearty way spoke up so that all could hear. Come, George, have a drink?" he sail. 4 Yes. thank 3'ou, don't care if I do." replied Gorge, ami he promptly walk ed up to the bar. He had the drink and the deacon paid for it. but the deacou lost a great deal of faith in mankind therebv. That night he made George the subject of prayer at the Tuesday evening meet ing. Ar. I'. Herald. HAD BEEN TO EUROPE. An An(fl - Anirricitn, Who nd Reen Abriui'l but Couldn't Tell What Ha Had Smd. A light-haired young man with an incipient mustache, red necktie, tight fitting kid gloves, carrying a big cane amidsnips. and his arms akimbo walked into a Randolph street barber-shop last evening. lie was evidently well known in the shop, for he was greeted bv name and spoke familiarly to several of the barbers. So tired, you know." he said, as he dropped lauguidiy into a chair, with out removing his gloves. '"Just got back from Europe, and am really worn out with sight-seeing." The tone was one of iuvilation to open a con versation. -I suppose you took in everything on your trip,'' one of the barbers, who left it iucumbeut to reply, finally vent ured. Ya-as; saw all there was to be seen. Of course it's awfully nice, you know: but one gets tired of seeing so much." Were vnu in Strasburg, Mr. ?" inquired the artist of the next chair. Naw, didn't get there, was in a hurry, you know," drawled the Euro pean traveler. You were in Metz. weren't 3ou?" Naw; really I couldn't stop." "Oh. you missed it by not going." and the barber rattled on about the big clock, the Napoleonic monument, the battle scene and other points of in terest to be seen in that section. He mentioned a dozen other places in France and Germany. Yaas. I was in Berlin." the shaved customer interrupted at mention of that place. The barber pronounced it with the accent on the last syllable; the customer called it Berleen.' A series of quest ious about that great city developed that Mr. knew nothing of its points of interest. I was in Lunnon. too." interrupted the si'httseeiug customer. "Great town. Lunnon. you know." Another series of interrogations about Lunnoii" resulted in as little information iu return. Hy this time every other customer in the shop was smiling, pleased at the situation. Something of the state of affairs must have dawned upon the traveler, for he said with a weak attempt at satire: "You must have traveled a eood aeat. too. mroers can get a cnance to see everything, you know. Don't have to hurry. Work as they go along." Yc, I expect to go again next ye.ir." replied the second-chair artist, unconscious of the intended thrust. "I propose to lake my time, work enough to pay incidental expenses, and put in my extra lime in seeing the coun tries." " "Think I'll not go home to-night," the traveler said, desiring to change the subject and not having wit enough to do so in any other way. "Must go out on Ashland avenue. Got regular evenings, you know. He, he. he." And with a knowing look the fellow paid his check, tipped the barber who shaved him and the attendant who handed him his hat, grasped his big cane by its middle and left. "What asses my fellow-counlrymeu can be," said a cynical customer as he stepped from his chair. 'He's not an American." said au old gentleman at the end of the line, with some asperity.- "He's an Anglo nianiac. Just like hundreds of others who visit the cintiuent thev never see a Ihinir. Hut then "they've been to Europe!' I'ah.they make me tired!" It was a little incident, but t here is a whole ciiapier in m uiv iiille incidents. CkiC'HjH Jiniru il. MANAGER HILL'S MUSCLE Whan He Drink It I Liknlr to Get Him Into Trouble. The accident by which J. M. Hill broke his leg will probably have the effect of quelling the muscular ardor of Air. Hill for some time to come, says the N. Y. World. Hois rather a short man and nothing about him indicates unusual strength. His muscles are well developed, however, and he has extraordinary ideas of his own phj'si cal power. Whenever he drinks he immediately begins to , exhibit his strength. He nearly choked a man to death in Cincinnati some time ago. attempted to break another man's arm in an up-town oyster saloon and was vigorously thrashed for his efforts. Then he got into a row with a mau named Foster at the Imperial Hotel, which resulted in Foster being whipped by another mau, and so on through a series of pugilistic adventures. Final ly he struck a snag of large, robust and overwhelming proportions. This snag was the person of Muldoon. the wrestler. Mr. Hill was walking along Twenty-sixth street one night sur reptitiously and proudly feeling of his biceps, when he discovered Muldoon leaning nonchalantly against a railing. The manager and Muldoon were great friends and hence Mr. Hill thought it would be au admirable scheme to ex hibit his muscle. He stepped forward and suddenly twining his hands in a handkerchief which was loosely knot ted, arouud Muldoon's ueck. began to squeeze violently. Muldoon started back and if he had not stooped down the two men would have gone over the railing together. The big athlete was red in the face and he gasped a re monstrance to Hill. Hill kept on squeezing and Muldoon told him again to let. go, as he was choking him. Mr. Hill did not let go at that precise mo ment, but he did a very short pe riod succeeding it. He released his hold exactly on time, as Mr. Muldoon swung his mighty right arm back and "landed" it on Mr. Hill's short ribs. There was a howl, and a moment later the spectacle of J. M. Hill living back through the air was preseuted to the sightseers. When he got up and pull ed himself together, he gasped: "Billy, I was only iu fun. 'That wasn't a fair deal." I know all about your fun," said Muldoon. shortly. "You're one of these men going about doing these sort of things, and when an accident happens you affect to be very much surprised." "I've been drinking a little," said Hill. "Yes, I know you have," said Mul doon, shortly, "but you understood what you were about. But I'll tell you. if ever you lay a finger on me again, in jest or in earnest, I'll maim you for life." The following day Hill sent a note of apology to Muldoon. and it was sent back with the curt message that it was accepted, but that after this, when he was practicing his muscular feats he was to let Mr. Muldoon alone. Prob ably he will. In Sweden rye flour costs exactly twice as much now as it did three years ago. and 12.472 more paupers were supported bv the public there in 1889 than in 1887." Bitten for a Bride. On the lower Amazon dwell the can nibal Butocudos, who distort their features with the biggest ornaments of a certain kind known. In baby hood both men and women have their lower lips and the lobes of their ears pierced with holes in which they thrust pieces of wood. As they grow older these wooden adornments are made bigger and bigger until an adult ordi narily has ear-lobes that bang down to his shoulders and a lip that projects six inches or more beyond the nose. One must suffer to be beautiful, as the French say, and such is the in exorable fashion among those an thropohagi! In that country a young man who desires to take a wife must first submit himself to a frightful or deal. He draws over each arm up to the shoulder a loose armlet woven of palm leaves. Then under supervision by his elders he pluuge3 both arms as for as he can into a nest of fierce devouring auts. The insects at once attack the intruder of course, and according to the terms of the trial he must stand without moving for an hour, submitting with an absolute stoicism to the bites of the enraged creatures. If he endures the test hf is entitled to - the bride, other wise he must wait a year, and then un dergo it again. There are still tribes descended from the ancient Incas which bandage the beads of their children so that they as sume a conical form. Funnily enough the brain does not seem to suffer any injury from this treatment. N. 1". Journal. - . J O E - Ttje Oqe Price Clo'liiei WANTS 1 WATCH FOE WIT AND HUMOR. Love is like politics; there is a big difference between a nomination and an election. N. Y. Herald. Two of the hardest things to keep in this life are a new diary and a sharp lead-pencil. Norristown Herald. The oyster coming into the church generally has a good deal to do in keeping the Lord out. Barn's Horn. When the devil wants a man he doesn't care how near he sits to the pulpit when he goes to church. Barn's Horn. "What would you do if you were in my shoes. Jephson?" asked Hobbs. "Black 'em," replied Jephson. Soincr vtlle Journal. Why is it said that the doctor pays visits, when every one knows that it is the visits which pay the doctor? Balti more American. Wife "You must think all women are alike." Husband "O, no, I don't. Fd been a bachelor if they were." Detroit free fress. We have noticed that the smaller the town the more its papers have to say about a man's religion when he dies. Atchison Globe. "Our baby is awfully nice." remark ed Mabel. "It pulled my hair yester day, and then- cried because I did." Harper's Young People. Mr. Rowndes "I don't suppose you clergvmen regard marriage as a fail ure?"" Dr. Pownde3 ''Not at all, more like a raise of salary." f uck. Teacher "For what was George Washington noted?" Dick Hicks "He told the truth when questioned about his family tree." Brooklyn Life. "Strangest girl I ever met." mutter ed Chappie, almost to himself. "Why?" asked Cholly. "Accepted me," re plied Chappie, absently. N. Y. Herald. 'Do you think those shoes are worth mending?" "Veil, yes, if I sole and heel tem and put new uppers on tern. The strings are still goot." Leather Dealer. Friend "If you have so much trouble with your wife's relations, why do you live with them?" Hatework "Because my relations won't have us." N. Y. Weekly. It is true that women are not al lowed on board of ships of war, but that is no reason why a bustle in the navy-yards should cause alarm. In dianapolis Journal. "You said Sokker was quite active in your campaign?" "Yes," replied the defeated candidate. "In what capacity?' "About a gallon a day." Washington Star. "Where did you find the lawyer after the defcudant had struck him?" "He was lying in the ditch, your Honor." "How strong is habit!" murmured the court. Baltimore American. Cora Bellows "I believe you would be true to a wife." JakeJimpson (de lightedly) "Oh. do you tit i uk so?" Cora (yawning) "Yes. You would never leave her." JV. Y. Herald. Mrs. Gotham "The paper says that chewing winterereea will iteeD DeooJa z fin nn t n m c c o a m . 's.'i.VvsVi. s o CHANGE OF AD awaKe in cnurcn." ir. iioniam - it might be but, at the theater, I have found cioves very efficacious." Good News. Young Mangier (to the fair but total stranger) "I believe 1 have the pleasant memory of having met you once." Fair Stranger "Then I "ad vise you to make the most of it." Boston Courier. He Couldn't Understand Editor: "Well, sir. did you interview that woman as I directed? ' Reporter: "I saw her. but she refused to talk." Editor (startled): "Was she dead?" Detroit Free I'rcss. Mrs. Morris: "So vou have lost your new girl." Mrs. Benedict: "Yes; when she broke Ciarlie's pet coffee cup and gave him a new one with 'Love the Giver' on it, I thought it was time to let her go." Puck. Maud (earnestly): "I want to ask you a question, George." George (also What It Costs Rich People to Live. Mr. Ward McAllister's latest con tribution to current literature under takes to tell what it costs to live in up per tendon). His figures are rat'ier startling. He tells us, for example, that he knows of at least four men in this country who spend annually $4'M). 000 a year. This includes their char ities and the interest on the capital in vested in their town and country houses. Then there are about thirty men who spend from $100.0;JO to $lo0 -000 a year, though Mr. McAllister tells us these men are really no hapoir than the man who lives on $3.3 000. which McAllister thinks about the right figure to enable a man to main tain his establishment in style and dis pense hospitality. As for the average fashionable woman, we are told she spends from $1,000 to $6,000 a year on her toilet and generally manages to look handsome. He Beat His Father. He was a young man. He had studied law in his father's offiee. and his father finally retired and gave the business to him, says the Lewiston Journal. One day, less than a week after the old gentleman hail retired, the young man came home and proud ly said: "Father, you know that old Gilpin estate that you have been trying for years and years to settle?'' "Yes," answered the father, with a suggestion of a smile. "Well, it didn't take me two days to settle it after I got at it." "What," shouted the old lawyer, you have settled the Gilpin estate?" "Yes; and it was just as easy as roll ing off a log." "Well, you iufernal idiot, you! Why, that estate has paid the living ex penses of our family for four genera tions, and might have paid them for four more, if I hadn't left the busi ness to a niuny." A New York woman of 45 years of age has been married to her fifteenth husband. All of her husbands but the last are dead. IIIII r ii r " n. ' f lOlf. WEEK. I District Court. Victoria Make vs. Chas. Make. Defendant has leave to tile answer instanter. Ii. A. Gibson vs. W. M. "Jameson et al; judg-ment for jdaintiff jn the until -f Ci fr.rj .:ii, i : 1 nu'si. i-ecrec lor lore nsurp i dered. ' IOI1I1 (l. I.'IVPH Vfl IV I' i . - al; have leave to file answer with.' ten days. jrrentice, Jirownstone and Co., vs O. J. King- and county commis sioners, injunction vacated and eef. aside and plaintifl dismissed for want of equity. 6 Prentice, Urownstone & Co., vs Erath & Thyn et al; lias leave to an swer within thirty days. As we cfo to press the case of Dudley, Steele & Co., vs. Rasmus Peterson is being- aigued. t Dr. John Black was in the metrop olis to-day. For Atchinson, St. Joseph, Leaven worth, Kansas City, SL Louis, and all points north, east south or wesL Tick- ets sold and bag gage checked to any point in the United S t a tes or Canada. For INFORMATION AS TO RATES AND ROUTES ' Call at Depot or address H, C. TOWXSENI), G. P. A. St. Louis, Mo. J. C. Phillippi, A. G. P. A. Omaha. II. D. Apgar. AgL, Plattsmouth.. Telephone, 77. W TT7 4 ntff1 All sutlv r.liohla n.. - W to sso monthly. ith increa-e. u reinSon Rnx Naw Vnrlr v,iim( . 1 r I n IMl 1 1 i IrnlUX i 1 ' K