Ill Maiden Eflbrt,
The big family of railroad men, brok
ers and lawmakers who take their even
ing relaxation at the Windsor hotel are
n joying a Mory from (ieneral Schuyler
Hamilton. It comes from the legisla
tive halls of a western state, where an
ambitious luemlier attempted his maiden
iecli. He had written out his remarks,
which liegan, "There is one thing I can
not see," and reached the Capitol on the
eventful day set for its delivery, confi
dent that the manuscript rejosed wifely
in an inside pfcket.
Getting the sjM'aker's eye, the new
member began. "There is one thing, Mr.
Slieaker, that I cannot see," meanwhile
diving into his coat for the sieeeh. It
was not where he expected to find it,
but fearing to lose his chance, and still
confident that it would turn up, his
hands flew around to the pockets of his
coat tails, and he continued, "I Bay, Mr.
Sje.'iker, that there is one thing I cannot
nee." The precious p;qer was still elu
eive and the memlier Iwgan to plunge
through his nickels in a desperate hunt
for the sjx-ech. His associate baw his
plight and )-came interested.
"I rjieat, Mr. Speaker," he blustered,
"that there is one thing I cannot see."
By this time the assembly was snicker
ing. Thesjx-ech could not Ik? found ami
the sjeaker was stumped. lit; took his
seat, red and jxrspiiiiig. with a general
guffaw to add to his discomfort. Then
nse the wag of the assembly.
"Mr. Sjfaker." he said, "the honora
ble gentleman from Winona informs me
that there is one thing he cannot see.
There is also fine thing 1 cannot see, but
which every other memlier can see, and
that is the hack of my m-ek."
The member from Winona has indefi
nitely postM.ned his maiden effort.
New York Times.
MnnkryK u s Coin Tmlrrik
It is ftiid that the great ape of Siam is
in great request among the Siamese mer
chants as cashiers in their counting
houses. Vast quantities of base coins
are known to be in circulation in Siam,
and, according to advices from that
scorched up little oriental kingdom, no
living human can discriminate between
the good and bad coinage with as much
aenracy as these apes. These monkey
cashiers possess the faculty of distin
guishing the rude Siamese counterfeits
in such an extraordinary degree that no
trained banker can compete with them
iu their unique avocation.
In plying his trade the ape cashier
meditatively put each coin presented to
him in his month and tests it with grave
deliberation. From two to five seconds
is all the time this intelligent animal re
quires in making up his decision. If the
coin is all right it is carefully deposited
in the prosier receptacle; if base it is
thrown violently to the floor, while the
coin tester makes known his displeasure
at being presented with the counterfeit
by giving vent to much angry chatter
ing. St. Louis Republic.
Couldn't Dance.
One of our northern friends who has
been traveling in the south found him
self at a railroad station at which quite
a crowd of negro boys were gathered.
Some of the passengers amused them
selves by tossing nickels out among the
crowd to see the urchins scramble for
them. One strong fellow managed to
get the lion's share of the contributions,
using his superior skill and muscular
power to good advantage and imposing
upon the weaker and more awkward.
With his mouth, which answered the
purpose of a pocketbook, full of coin
obtained thus by hauling, pulling and
shoving, he was invited to dance for the
delectation of the company, whereupon
he unhesitatingly declared that it was
impossible, for, as he said, "I'se got re
ligion." That was where he drew the
line. He could pound und ehove and
misuse his superior strength to obtain
money from his weaker conqiaiiioiis, but
he couldn't dance; Richmond Religious
Herald.
To Cure Corpulency.
To open the sewerage system of the
body and exiel the vate matters which
have accumulated is of the first imjior
tance in the treatment of corpulence.
Hot water and exercise will largely do
this. That the overworked digestive or
gans may lie relieved the quantity of
food should Ik? the smallest possible con
sistent with strength. Foods which bur
den digestion or favor the production of
fat should be excluded from the diet.
Every corpulent person who observes
these simple rules will soon find himself
growing lighter in weight and his gen
eral health improving, physical as well
as nientaL His gain will correspond to
the degree of faithfulness with which he
adheres to this regimen. And once he is
back to near the standard of weight he
will need no urging to ever afterward
obstruct threatening corpulency. Bos
ton Herald.
IVe've All ltcen Tlicre.
"Xo," said Fogg, "it's no use for me
to go to concerts- I went once, and liked
it well enough too; but great guns!
when 1 took up next morning's paper 1
was flabbergasted. It told of rambles in
bosky dells, slumbrous musings over the
dimpled wat. rs of the gurgling brook,
the soughing of summer breezes, the
roar and rush of the winter's storm, the
merry singing of birds, the froliekings of
lambs, the daisy piled fields, the lovers
soft glances, and and in fact half a hun
dred other things that I didn't see or
hear when that fellow was fiddling at the
concert. It made me so ashamed of my
self that all these things were going on
riht in front of me and I not know it
that I just made up my mind that con
certs weren't in my line." Boston Tran
script. Miss Louise Imogene Guiney, daugh
ter of the late General P. K. Guiney, has
been invited to read an original poem at
the Sherman memorial meeting in Bos
ton, June 4. General Hawley will do
liver the oration.
The Esquimau dog will eat almost any
of the dried fruits. The sour or acid
fruits, as the orange, lemon, lime, shad
dock, etc., as well as the sour plains and
the bitter olives, are rarely eaten.
HATS OF MONEY KINGS.
THE DAILY PROCESSION OF TILES
WORN IN WALL STREET
Silk Hata In (irratrnt Number Few Straw
II ta Worn Peculiar Headgear of Well
Known financiers Jay Could Wear
Iierbjr Hat Altogether.
The procession of hats in Wall street
is worth viewing. Everybody must needs
visit Wall street at one time or another
bo more kinds of hats are seen there per
haps than anywhere else. It is, how
ever, to the hats worn by men famed in
finance that the most interest attaches.
The hat never makes the man, but it
often betrays the characteristics of a
man. As a rule the money kings are less
particular about the hats they wear than
are their clerks. They have more im
portant things to think about. Hats good
enough for them in one season are good
enough for them in another. The con
sequence is some millionaires wear de
cidedly antiquated and rusty tiles.
Jay Gould used to be very precise in his
dress. His clothes, while of modest pat
tern, were made by a fashionable tailor,
and were always correct in fit and finish.
In the cold months Mr. Gould wore a
high silk hat, and in the hot months a
high white hat Of late years Mr. Gould
has been less particular about his dress.
He has worn dark clothes entirely, and
ho has worn them out too. He has
ceased wearing high hats altogether. In
the summer his head covering is a light
derby and in other seasons of the year a
black derby.
There was a time when in the hottest
spells Mr. Gould affected a Panama hat.
Although this kind of hat was probably
the most comfortable one he could find
for the dog days he gave it up for some
reason for the derby. Mr. Gould does
not change his hats with the styles, but
makes them do service as long as they
will. It is said that when Mr. Gould
was a young man he was almost a fop.
He is still neat in his attire. His shirt
front is always immaculate and he is
always carefully brushed, but he has re
lapsed into staid and conventional ways
of dressing.
MOSTLY SILK TILES.
George J. Gould, the eldest son of Jay
Gould, is plain but particular in his at
tire. He is a young man of atldetic
build, and is a refutation of the saying
that clothes make the man. Most of the
time he wears a derby like his father.
Occasionally he is seen with a silk hat.
In the hot spells he puts on a straw hat
Russell Sage wears a high silk hat or
a high white hat according to the season.
Iu rainy weather or when he is going for
a drive he dons a derby. He generally
carries a silk handkerchief in his pocket,
with which he brushes his silk hat when
ever he puts it on. Mr. Sage is very ex
act in his dress. Both on leaving his
house and his office he carefully brushes
himself. He has a shoe brush in one of
the desks at his office, and ho gives his
shoes a smart rubbing at the conclusion
of business each day.
Cyrus W. Field's tall form is made to
look taller by a high silk hat, which,
however, is discarded for a straw hat in
the heated term. Mr. Field is particular
to see that the nap of his silk hat is
brushed the right way, but he is rather
near sighted, and rarely goes to a meet
ing without picking up somebody else's
hat in place of his own. Once in a
while ho gets the best of the bargain,
but as a rule, he says, he is the loser.
Collis P. Huntington is one of the few
men who wear head coverings both in
doors and out. At home as well as in
his office he wears a silk cap. The prac
tice is more from force of habit than
anything else. Mr. Huntington has lit
tle to fear from draughts, because he has
a splendid head of hair, and furthermore
is a powerfully built man and has
scarcely known a day of sickness in his
life. In the street Mr. Huntington wears
a silk hat, except on rainy days, when he
puts on a derby.
D. O. Mills is a clerical looking man,
and he accentuates his ministerial mien
by wearing a silk hat of severe shape.
In the summer he wears a tall white hat
Sidney Dillon, the president of the
Dnion Pacific railroad, wears a derby
with a broad black band, which he oc
casionally, in the evening or on Sunday,
exchanges for a high silk hat Mr. Dil
lon is a very tall man, and a silk hat
makes him look a giant in comparison
with the average man.
J. Pierpont Morgan wears both a silk
hat and a derby, and one about as much
as the other. He bu3's his hats in Lon
don, and they always attract attention
by their contrast to American shapes.
Mr. Morgan does not let his hats get
rusty.
Addison Cammack, the bear leader in
Wall street, generally wears a high silk
hat in winter and a high white hat in
Eummer.
DEACON WHITE'S OAT.
Deacon S. V. White wears a straw hat
in summer, but the rest of the year a
soft black hat covers liis head. The
memory of Wall street runneth not back
to the time when Deacon White was
ever seen in any other kind of hat than
those named. If he were to possess a
silk hat he would probably from habit
try to double it up and put it in his
pocket He sits on his straw hats the
same as on his 60ft hats. New York
Recorder.
A Platinum Saw.
It has been noticed that platinnin,
when placed in an electrical current, is
heated to a dull redness. This fact is
the basis of the invention of an electri
cal saw which will cut quickly and
neatly the hardest wood
The device is made of steel wire, upon
which is deposited metallic platinum.
By connecting this modified wire with
the terminals of four Bunsen batteries
the platinum is heated to a bright red
ness, and the saw is ready for business.
New York JournaL
A Streak of Lack.
Mrs. Portly Pompons Oh, Bridget,
you have broken that magnificent Japan
ese vase.
Bridget Sure, mum, isn't it lucky that
there was nothing in it Texas S if tings.
Klection Day In Greece.
Election day is an exciting one in
Greece. The last one was especially o
in Athens. The people were to vote for
memliers of parliament. The election
occurs every four years. For a week
previous to the polling all the men and
boys were parading the streets, headed
by a band. The Greeks are blessed with
most powerful lungs, and their shouts of
"Viva!" fairly drowned the braying of
the donkeys. The interest" so in
tense that the young childrfti shared it,
and an American lady, passing a "mite
of a boy" on the street, who was escort
ing a little girl homo from school, gal
lantly carrying her books, heard him
ask her if she had a vote!
The voting takes place in the churches
on Suuday, consequently the customary
service fs dispensed with. In the church
to which an American gentleman suc
ceeded in finding access there were
ranged round the chifrch forty-two
boxes, that being the number of the
candidates.
These boxes were something the shape
of a tea box, one half painted white,
with "Yes" on it. and the other half
black, with "No" on it.
Tin tubes projected from the front
outward. Looking through these tubes
one could see that the loxeB were divided
into two compartments. Beside each
box stood a representative of the candi
date, and over the box appeared the
candidate's picture. Each voter, as he
entered the church, had his name and
address registered, and a check given
him. The above mentioned representa
tive then gave the voter a bullet, or
vote, made of lead.
Formerly the dishonest voter would
slip another bullet up his coat sleeve,
and as he raised his arm to the tube the
'bullet would roll down, and two votes
instead of one bo cast; but the repre
sentative now watches to prevent cheat
ing. Negative votes as well as affirma
tive must also be cist; that is. if a voter
objects to a candidate, he must cast a
negative bullet. The voter, of course,
casts one vote at each box, or forty-two
in all. Cor. Youth's Companion.
Tlic C'hinstmun'a Purchase.
The Chinese are not supposed to have
much talent or liking for humor, but a
little story related by the author of
"Three Years in Western China" shows
that they are not altogether deficient in
that respect:
Several of my followers were opium
smokers, and one of my bearers had con
tracted a great craving for the drug. He
was somewhat disreputable in appear
ance, but a willing worker. His bag
gage consisted of the clothes on his back
and a small bundle containing his opium
pipe and the necessary paraphernalia for
smoking.
On leaving a certain village I noticed
that the bundle had assumed larger di
mensions, but my speculations as to its
contents proved to be wide of the mark.
A few miles to the west of Yang-lin a
halt was called for rest, and the cakes on
the roadside stall were quickly bought
and devoured. The opium smoker,
meanwhile, sat apart on the edge of the
stone road.
"How is it that you are all eating and
drinking," said he to one of his comrades,
"and I haven't a single cash to follow
your example?"
The other man put his thumb to his
mouth, and pretending to inhale, pro
nounced the single word, "Opium," at
which the smoker smiled and was silent.
On the following day we were sud
denly overtaken by a sharp rain storm,
and when the other bearers were search
ing for shelter the smoker solemnly pro
duced his bundle, gravely undid the
cover, and proceeded to unfold and put
on a first class waterproof coat which he
had wisely purchased in the village to
which we have referred. The astonish
ment on the other men's faces and the
look of triumph in which the smoker
indulged were a study.
The First Horse Car.
It was in 1S31 that I devised the first
street car, or omnibus, as it wad then
called. This car was composed of an ex
tension to a coach body, with seats
lengthwise instead of crosswise. On the
outside of the vehicle was printed "Om
nibus," in large letters. People would
stand and look at this word and wonder
what it meant. "Who is Mr. Omnibus?"
many of them would inquire. I had a
shop of my own at this time, and there
I huilt the first horse car. It was run for
the first time iu 1S32, from Prince street,
in the Bower3, to Fourteenth street.
This car had three compartments of ten
seats each, entrance being had from the
sides. On the top there were also three
rows of seats, facing back and front,
seating thirty persons. John Stephen
son in Ladies' Home JournaL
Salvation Army and the Crusade.
.It is obvious that if we would find any
analogy for the growth and force of this
movement of the Salvation Army, we
must go back to the enthusiasm exerted
by the preaching of the Crusades, to the
work of Francis and Dominic in founding
the mendicant orders, to the Protestant
Reformation, to the preaching of George
Fox, or to the growth of Wesleyanism
at the close of the last century. Further,
no attentive student of early church
history can fail to see many striking
points of analogy between the methods
adopted and the results achieved by the
Salvation Army and those which aston
ished and disgusted the pagan world iv
the rapid success attained by the earh
missionaries of the Christian church.
Archdeacon Farrar in Harpers.
Various Hues.
Every once in a while the African
mind will evolve an expression that h:i
a wealth of grotesque poesy in it. An
elderly man who is employed about one
of the public buildings in this city was
heard to remark:
" 1 dunno what I'se gwine ter do for
close foh all ob my family r"
" Have you a large family, iKscle ?"
said one of the clerks in a quizzical tone.
" Deed I is seben chillun."
" Are they all the same color as you T
" No, sah ; dey varies, rangin' all de
way f um dusk ter midnight " Washing
ton Post
Monkey That Fight with Stones.
The Gelada baboons sometimes have
battles with the Hamadryads, especially
when the two species have a mind to rob
the same field, and if fighting in the hills,
will roll stones on to their enemies. Not
long ago a colony of Gelada baboons,
which had been fired at by some black
soldiers attending a duke of Coburg
Gotha on a hunting expedition on the
borders of Abyssinia, blocked a pass for
some days by rolling rocks on all comers.
This seems to give some support to a cu
rious objection raised by a Chinese local
governor in a report to Ins superior on
the difficulties in the way of opening
to steamers the waters of the upper
Yang-tse. The report, after noting that
the inhabitants on the upper waters were
ignorent men who might quarrel with
strangers, went on to allege that mon
keys, which inhabited the banks, would
roll down stones on the steamers. "The
two last facts," the report added,
"would lead to complaint from the En
glish and embroil the Celestials with
them, especially if the men or the mon
keys kill any English." Spectator.
lie Is Against Cremation.
"Don't you favor this idea of crema
tion?" asked the old gentleman in the
horse car of the man who sat next to
him.
"No, 6ir, I don't," said the other man
emphatically "Cremation and crime
are synonymous terms with me. 1 have
been iu the gravestone business long
enough to know that the old fashioned
method of burial is in every way the
best." Somerville Journal.
Most birds are stoics compared to owls,
and those who cultivate their acquaint
ance know that they have no time
wherein to make their poetical com
plaints to the moon. Poets should not
meddle with owls. Shakespeare and
Wordsworth alone have understood
them by most others they have been
scandalously libeled.
The most ancient description we hare
of a water pump is by Hero of Alexan
dre. There is no authentic account of
the general use of the pump in Germany
previous to the beginning of the Six
teenth century. At about that time the
endless chain and bucket works for rais
ing water from mines began to be re
placed by pumps.
The Ionian isles produce a loose lace,
unique rather than handsome. It was
used at first mainly in the churches and
tombs. As antiquity more than doubles
the price the shrewd natives blacken
and mildew their work before offering
it to the tourists, who take dirt as a
voucher for ajre.
Americans are the greatest newspaper
readers in the world. There are 17,000
newspapers published in the Unitel
States. It is said that a new publica
tion is born every four hours and forty
eight minutes day a:.u i.i;:ht; but fort
unately or unfortunately the death ratt
is very high.
X
X :
New Millinery Store.
Mrs. C. M. Graves, dressmaking
and millinery. New roods, new
prices, latest styles. Store No. 11U
South 3rd St. Plattsmouth, .Neb. dim
Pansiea.
Yes! Iii bloom, of the most
gorgeous colors. They will con
tinue to bloom nil summer, too, and
can be selected at Moore's Green
House for from 40 to .r0 cents per
dozen. dtf
A restore, stricken, and give you
a luxuriant growth of hair, to keep
its color natural as in youth, and to
remove dandruff, use only Hall's
Hair chain.", rings, crosses and
hair work of all kinds to order.
Mks. A. K.NKE.
tf 17'Jo Locust St.
Drown fc Barrett have the largest
and finest stock of wall paper and
borders in Plattsmouth. wtf
Will you suffer with Dyspepsia
and Liver Complaint? Shiloh's Vit
alizcr is guaranteed to cure you. 2
Our Clubbing List.
Globe-Democrat and Herald. ,
Harper's Magazine " "
Harper's Bazar "
Deniorest's Magazine "
Omaha Bee " "
oledo Blade
Lincoln Call "
National Tribune "
The Forum " "
Inter Ocean " " .
Lincoln Journal " "
The Home Magazine " "
.$2.25
. 4.C0
. 4.80
. 3.10
. 2.40
. 2.45
. 2.15
2.45
. .5.55
. .2.25
2 30
I S5
Soeiicta - ScMri
The WaEhiiigtton Avenue
GROCERS
-ASU-
Provision Merchants.
Headquarters lor
FLOOR AND FEED,
We pay no rent and sell for CA.SFI.
You don'tjpay any bills for dead beat
when you buy of this firm.
The beet SOFT COAL alwajs od
Hand.
IDOISTT FORGET
AT THE w-
5 OOIRIIsnEIIES 5
pposite Richey Bros Lumber office
k .
IT Jill
ft ft
Time Table
GOING WK8T GOING EAST
Nol 3:30a. m No 2, ."...5:05 p.m.
" 3 5:45 p. m "4 10:30 a. m
"5 9 :25 a. m. "8 7 ;44 p. m.
7 :15 a. m. " 10 9 :45 a. m.
"9 6 :25 p.m. "12 10:14 a. m-
11 5 :25 p. m. " 20 8 :30 a. m.
19 11 :05 a. in.
1 . PETEHSEJT
THE LEADING
GROCERS
HAVE THE MOST
COMPLETE
STOCK IN THE CITY.
EVERYTHING - FRESH - AND - IN - SEASON
ATTENTION' FAKMER3
We want vrinr T...l4 t- L
.. , uuuij, IvggS, JiUt-
ter and your farm produce of all
kinds, we will pay you the highest
cash pr.ee as we are buying lot a
lirn in Lincoln. rt
R. PETERSEN,
THE LEADING GROCERS
Plattsmouth
Nebraska.
The Citizens
BANK
PI . A TTfMi-,
Author.zedCapitaiiVopVoo00
OFKICKHB
w. u. cu.a,s. c Jt;P'",,4e"' V
DlliKCTOttit
tank Carriith J. A. Connor, Y R r,h
. Mernwn. Wr. Weteacamp. W
II. Cashing.
TBAKSACTSU GRJERAL BAKIKG BDS1HBA
uv8 ef J-tm..