(1
GLADYS MAKES -THOUBLE.
OUT HER OWNER WAS HAPPY, FOR
HE WAS LOSING FLESH.
rii l-hlrn for I f oiih-IioII IVln ltruHa la
Now Invention Tho ft Tlutt V
rinn l;,n i 'I In, I)..,' V Al
ways Jolly Wlim Ni ,lln- u Tlirnaltlnff.
Another new method for tho reduc
tion of ol'Mty has been discovered, aa
all fcre.it discov erics aro brought about,
purely ly aeeiihnt.
You bco, it was just liko this, ox
pounded its inventor. My wife- and I
v.Yy. to housekeeping a whilo :io for
the first time, and sho thought tdio
couldn't keep house without some pets.
You know how it is when jour wifo
makes up her mind to have anything.
Well, I got the K ts, a cat and a doy.
At that timo I was working a rowing
machine niht and moriiing, swinging a
lifteen Miuini club, and vai ioiiM things of
that kind to keep my flesh down. Well,
tho !irst week after thu dog came, it kept
mo ho lu-y cllViting reconciliation 1k:
tween her and the cat, teaching her that
I didn't enjoy tearing oil" down tho block
after her every time tho dxr ojiened,
and curbing her proien:-ity for rearrang
ing rugs and the littlo curtains and
sashes my wifo hangs around on tables
and chairs, and in bringing things, par
ticularly my wearing apparel, from tho
tin? back yard, where he had a trick of
dragging them, that I didn't have time
to u.se the machine and club at all. At
tho end of the week I had a whip on
every floor, and had lost two ounds of
I!. sli.
After harmony had Inen established
between Gladys and tho cat, peace
seemed to have U-cn declared on her
Iart with all the feline race. She lcgan
to cultivate a gaunt tomcat that came
growling into the yard, but Tom didn't
, reciprc::te her friendly approaches. Ho
lixtd known bitter experiences, and his
instincts were c.ssiuiistic and aggressive.
He made a dive at Gladys, who was all
unprepared for tho onslaught, and, of
course, hhe got the worst of it. In a lull
in the proceedings 1 put a bullet through
Tom's back and finished tho fray. I in
tended to hit the cat in tho head, but
with the usual perversity of his kind, ho
continued to spring just enough to tako
it in the back, lie crawled up a tree in
;i sickening and writhing way, kicking
out .-is MjUivcring hind legs, ami 1113 wifo
began to cry and get white, and say sho
.knew she vras going to faint. I begged
of her not to until I could bury my dead,
before the neighljors rushed in, and just
thou the cat gave one last wiggle and
dropped out of tho tree. I put my wifo
on the ln-d with the Pond's extract bottle,
fis I couldn't find tho cologne, and rushed
Jowii to bury the cat under a roso bush.
Jladys looked on approvingly, ami when
the grave was smoothed over she snuffed
around it in a F-atisfied sort of way,
which intimated that tho interment was
all correct and proper.
' Tiio next night when I got home that
cat under tho rose bush without a
hair on its carcass, and beside it sat
Jladys triumphant, radiant and expect
ant, waiting luy commendation. Sumo
of the dirt from that grave was on the
parlor windows, some in the pan of let
tuce set out 0:1 the door otep, and a lot
tnore wag over the fence in tho next
yard. Well, I licked the dog as usual,
a.- scientifically and handsomely as I
knew how, rubbed her nose on tho cat,
on the spado i:i the grave, explaining
jutc.Mitime that I wanted the cat left
llon. Then I buried it again, Gladys
capering j-.bout tho yard, catching tho
various fhiK-.ti'ig pendant garments on
.the clothes lino ia her teeth, and swing
ing round and round in great gleo until
jthr ?!othes tore or the pins camo ot't.
Tho ext night when I went homo my
wifo was gone. I didn't have to inquire,
i knew without. A heavy tiger skin
rug had lcen dragged into tho next
room and turned upside down, with a
white silk scarf olF the cabinet around
the tiger's head. A large fur rug had
been dragged away from tho fireplace
o,-;d piled up with a down pillow and a
fug -f choice skins from tho couch; ia a
corner a. i'pnitian glass ornament lay in
fragment. ou ..3 floor, and in the midst
c, the devastation, in a. white and gold
chair so decked out will; LJuo ribbons
and plash that neither I or any gu.eE;
whoever cauiO bere had sufficient te
merity to sit down ; it, sat Gladys, ani
mated, expectant and uejighted to seo
me. I went to the window io get a
whip and looked out. There lay the cat,
stark, stiiT and staring.
It took mo a long timo to polish that
dog olT as tho deserved and get tho cat
buried again to my satisfaction, and it
i-as not quito agreeable, even to me, to
Jjfe robbing the dog's noso in tho corpse
in tho iay sho deserved.
Tho nc.t night, when I went home, I
found my wifu trying by the wash bowl
:-.unl holding some wriggling, squirming
t,,;rig sewed up in a iitllo muslin bag
under water with her finger. It proved
to be three of tho four kittens which sho
had asked mo Jo kill, and which I had
forgotten. The Ird only knows how
long sho had been about it, for she sobbed
utthat they wouldn't die and ho was
& j faint and aiek. I went out to enrich
another roso bush with tho last remains
of the three embryonic caui, when Gladys
came rushing up so delighted about some
thing that I knew 6he needed her usu.il
licking. Tho cat was not entirely disin
terred; only his two hind feet stuck up
straight d hairless above the ground.
EviuVntlv I h&4 jn my haste buried him
with his "feet up. I ihrnshed thedog and
the i.est night found tho two (aro feet
unearthed I hammered tho dog agaiu
nd buried the cat. That was the last
of it. The fifth time I buried that nnimal
Ins jrruvo was tmdisturbeJ, and I hud Jost
five pounds.
Every night there's some new development-
Last night it was a pair of 10
shoes 6ho had attempted to mako n me-ol
off of, and to-night it will I something
else. Of course it's a. little expensive,
but I oat and drink everything I like,
and the flesh is melting off of me like
raafeic, Ieats all the systems of reduc
tion I ever heart! of. ICew York Sun. .
THE t)AlLV
Catarrh of lli Stomach.
The complaint from which Mr. Larncn
suffered, catarrh of tho stomach, Is gen
erally known to tho sufferer ns "dj-siep-sia."
Among the symptoms may lx
noted a dull, heavy pain or oppression in
the stomach shortly after eating, accom
panied by the formation of gas and a
belching of wind. Usually the stomach
Incomes tender or painful and frequently
feels cold, as if thero was a lump of fco
held against it or in it. The breath often
is offensive, and thero is an ugly, bitter,
slimy taste in the mouth, esjK-cially in
the morning. Tho patient often has
headache, and is troubled with vertigo
or a feeling of lightheadedness or dizzi
ness; also may have palpitation or flutter
ing of the heart, and frequently suffers
much from constipation. There is a con
stant feeling of languor, dullness and
heaviness, of oppression and exhaustion,
great depression of spirits, a disinclina
tion for all exertion, and a general bad.
wretched feeling.
In some eases the skin becomes hot
and dry, particularly the feet and hands;
in others, again, tho feet and hands aro
cold, and there is a great heat in the
1km ly and head. Sometimes thero are
sharp pains, front and back, under tho
shoulders, and thero may bo chronic diar
rhea. The tongue is usually coated, and
often thero is nausea and vomiting after
meals.
Tho appetite ii variable, generally
oor, and there is often an excessive flow
of saliva. Tho patient suffers from an
increased fever during tho night, fre
quently perspires whilo asleep and is
troubled with heartburn. Generally the
face is flushed or the skin becomes sal
low, and sometimes there is a dry, hack
ing cough, while the voice is hoarse and
husky. Host 01 1 Globe.
A I'okIhI ISox.
A patent postal pillar box of an in
genious character has Iiecn exhibited at
tho Athcnnnini club, Melbourne. The
box is octagonal in &hapo and stands
seven feet in height, having a diameter
of alolit two feet, and it has three divi
sions. The top one contains a series of
compartments, in which thero aro police
and fire alarms, the former being com
municated with by means of a telephone,
whilo the fire brigade is apprised of an
outbreak of fire in the locality by tha
pressure of an electric button. Tho cen
tral division, which is tho largest, is de
vote'd to the reception of letters and
newspapers, tho ordinary slot or opening
through which the letters aro placed be
ing covered with a wire comb, to prevent
the letters being extracted by tho inser
tion of thin sticks or pieces of wire.
Tho letters fall into an irem box which
is fastened on to tho door, and when it
is desired tocle-ar tho box all that the
postman has to do is to touch a 6pring,
which causes tho bottom of tho box to
fall, and this allows the letters to drop
into the open bag underneath. Thero is
a dial immediately above tho door denot
ing the times at which the box is cleared,
and on tho eloor being closed the hand
on the dial indicates at what timo the
next clearance will tako place. Tho bot
tom division is reserved for the batteries
used in connection with the police tele
phono fire alarms, and on top of the
roof an electric lamp is affixed. Sydney
Herald.
d-ncctions.
Stilts aro no better in conversation
than in a foot race.
Folly must hold its tongue whilo wear
ing tho wig of wisdom.
It is the foolish aim of tho atheist to
scan infinitude with a microscope.
When poverty comes in at tho cottage
door, truo love goes at it with an ax.
A vein of humor should bo made visi
ble without tho help of a reduction milL
The reformer becomes a fanatic when
ho begins to uso Lis emotions as a sub
stitute for his reasoning faculty.
Many an object in life must bo at
tained by flank movements; it is the
zigzag road that leads to the mountain
top.
All tho path3 of lifo lead to tho grave,
and tho utmost tliat we can do is to avoid
the short cuts.
Tho offico should seek tho man, but it
should inspect him thoroughly before
taking him.
Humility is most serviceable as an un
dergarment, and should never be worn
a3 an overcoat.
Tho Good Samaritan helps the unfor
tunate wayfarer without asking how he
intends to vote. J. A- Macon in Cen
tury. Foreign Ministers at Washington.
Foreign ministers demand tho most
scrupulous observance of tho stereotyped
rales of etiquette, and watch with scru
tiny every attention and inattention to
them. A failure to seat a member of the
corps or his wife in tho precise seat be
longing to his or her rank at the table
would, probably, destroy tho pleasure of
the occasion. Not one inch farther from
the host or hostess than belonged to the
country they represent would be toler
ated. The placing of the diplomats in
line to be presented at occasions of cere
mony must be done in strict observance
of rank tinu iuiporjance of eaclt. Ilence,
persons dining or entertaining ihese jdig
nitaries must first post themselves ac
curately on the status of every kingdom,
province and principality, if they expect
to gjve their guests pleasure and to avoid
a scene, suJ; as has characterized occa
sions where "second class Scyth Ameri
ca" has occupied positions a few pace
a!ove "first class Europe, or where little
European provinces have been given
more conspicuous places tbn greater
kingdoms. American Magazine
Persian Shoeg.
A lugh heele-d lady's slipper from
Monaco, an upper of richly embroidered
velvet, has a sole, shank anej Leei carved
out of solid wood. Then 'in Oiiental
lands wood is largely employed. The
ntu.-icun collection includes many inter
ceding specimens fififj) Asiatic countries.
The Persians have slices made of .vqcu
and r:ehly inlaid, which are really little
raised piatfof with a strap across tho
fiont for the toes to pa&s through. One
pair of these ajs elevated a fc-ot from
the ground find are veritable stilts.
Washington Star. . .
llfcrtALD : PLAITS MOUTH, XKUitASlOTWEiTN
TEODIE'S CHASE.
"O mamma, mamma, did you ny '
I may liaro tho 'Ki I find todayr"
An! Ttxl, with Klt-e,
To the lura ran tin.
Where ho thought old Toddlekins ought to be.
Ho tiimtixl IM'li and tie liunfx lovr.
Everywhere that a hen could f;
Over the mow.
ISuliind the !low.
And lulu I lie xbed of tho muley co
Ilo moved tho barrels and things about;
I Io emptied tho Iwny iusiiio out;
Ho l.Kl;cd in tho barrow.
l;-hlnd the harrow.
And Into tho oat Mim, dark and narrow
I In searched the crih and the woodpile through.
Thou down to tho brook where the alders grew;
Alonj; tho edge
Of tho Hoft Kreen Ke.de,
And In cozy iicxiLs of the osn'o hedge.
Arid where wan ToddleUns all this while?
Well, 1 really thiuli if a hen could binilo.
vI'uould Im at the race
And fruitless chase
Of Teddie to find her hiding place.
Twas ;i in the roof, on a broad old rafter.
And Teddie may take his turn ut laughter
When iier chickiea try
To walk or lly
For what will they do up there, no high?
Mrs. J M. Dunu iu Youth's Companion
Tlmt "ls) Shave.
Whenever a man comes into my shop
and asks for a clean shave, 1 wish that I
knew him well enough to show him a
piece of bis skin under a microscope
after he has had his shavo and is feeling
his smooth face in a satisfie'd way whilo
tho ly brushes him o(F. The hair of
the beard, in growing, raises little hills
of flesh around each root, and in shav
ing a man smoothly the razor cuts these
tiff, leaving the blood vessels exposed.
Under the microscope these bleeding
vessels can be distinctly seen, and the
flesh is seen to be entirely without the
covering of skin it should have. Tho
natural result is that the close shaver is
always troubled with colds and affec
tions of the throat. Close shaving is so
much a we'stcrn habit that eastern bar
bers say they can tell a western maji by
his dissatisfied look when ho gets out of
the chair and feels that ho has some of
tho skin still left on his face. St. Louis
G lobe- Democrat.
That's All that Saves tho Toem.
The "elocutionist" has hid his light
under a bushel as long as he can. lie is
now eletcrmined to let his light shine, to
lift up his voice and spare not and to
magnify his offico fer all it is worth and
toot his horn if ho doesn't sell a clam. A
Chicago elocutionist, discussing in Tho
Voice tho elements of a successful reci
tation, speaks of "other pierces like
'Mother and Poet,' 'The Raven" and liko
productions of no great literary merit
that produce marvelousefiects when well
rendered." Often wondered what kept
those mediocre jingles alive so long, when
some of my own finest efforts, worthy to
go ringing down the echoing aisles of the
copy dummy, stranded on the 6hingly
beach of tho cold and sullen W. B. It's
the "reading" that has rescued Mrs.
I'.rowning and Poo from the insatiate
maw of that relentless monster, O. 1J.
Livion, Sr. Robert J. Burdette.
Anxiou to Get tho News.
Don't forget the editor when you have
a news ittm. If j our wife whips you,
let us know of it and wo will set you
right before tho public. If you have
company tell us if you are not ashamed
of your visitors. If a youngster arrives
at your house and demands food and
raiment, buy a quarter's worth of cigars
and come arounel, and if you are a cash
subscriber wo will furnish a name for
hiiu or her, as circumstances warrant.
If you have a social gathering of a few
friends bring around a big cake, six or
seven pies and a ham not necessarily to
eat, but as a guarantee of good faitlu
You neeeln't bother to invite us as it may
bo a little too cool for our wardrobe.
We mention these little things because
wo want tho news, and wo will have it.
Mifliinburg Times.
lie Kissed 91c.
A Nebraska paper narrates this educa
tional incident: A high school girl, class
A, being told by her teacher to parse the
sentence, "ITe kissed me," consented re
luctantly, because opposed to speaking
of private affairs in public. "He," she
commenced, with unnecessary emphpei
and a fond lingering over tho word that
brought crimson to her cheeks, "is a pro
noun; third person, singular number,
masculine .gender; a gentleman, pretU
well fixed; universally considered a good
catch. Kissed is a verb, transitive too
much so; regular every evening; indi
cative mood indicating affection; first
and third person, plural number and gov
erned by circumstances. Me oh, every
body knows me," and down sho went.
Tho future of Electricity.
It would be quite impossible to forecast
the future, even for a single decade, with
reference to tho applications of electric
ity, even though discovery were epdetj.
The mere expansion of industries already
in some tlegree established will give
them an importance which we cannot
now estimate. But elisccvery is not
ended, and it is more than probable that
results will yet be reached which, al
though they cannot be at variance with
tho general doctrine of energy as now
understood, may te some extent revolu
tionize our methods, with corresponding
advantages. Professor C. F. IJrackett
in Scribner's.
A liusiness Transaction. -Little
School Boy Mamma, you said
if I'd bring you a reward of merit, you'd
give me 0. pew knjfp.
Mamma Yes, my pet.
"Here it is."
"But this has Tommy Toodles' name
on it."
"Yes'm; I traded him my old knife for
it." Harper's Bazar.
Well Provided For.
"Hello, old man! Congratulate you!
Itow are tho wife and baby getting
along?''
"All right, thank you.'
"And how is it with yourself?
"Oh, I am living way up on the things
the neighbors -send in for my. wife."
Boston IIciJd.
APPRAISING DIAMONDS.
The
Scales Uel Ara 80 Aeeurale That
They Will Wely.h a Ilulr.
Tho arrangements for such an exami
nation aro eiuito elaborate. First ef all
tho scales aro tested. These aro inai
vels of accuracy and will readily weiiji
a hair. An eyebrow dropped on .Jhe
balance will send the either side of the
si-ale slowly upward. Theso scales are
placetl ujon a broad table leveled by :t
careful calculation, around which stand
the appraiser, his assistants, tho excrts
and the importer. They do not talk, be
cause a tremor of the walos and cemse
rjuent inaccurate weighing might result
from loud articulation. After tho eloors
have heen closed several innocent ljok
ing wooden boxes are placed 011 the table
and unsealed. Two or three boxes of the
size that bonbons come in may contain
S.100,000 worth of sparkling diamonds.
Tho stones are wrapped up in pocke ts ef
paper like druggists' powders. These
wickets are unfastened and laid on the
table. The in voice is consulted and tho
government expert makes his inspection
and calculations In tho presence ef all
parties. His judgment is final and there
is no appeal from his elections.
If he thinks a diamond is worth 100
a carat, and the importer has it invoiced
half that sum, up goe's the invoice to the
expert's figure. It is in tho valuation of
the larger stones that tho finest discrim
inating power is required tind the most
thorough knowledge of diamonds neces
sary. Flaws that are absolutely undis
coverable to the naked eye. but winch
alTect thj v.o..c ;.' il;e .-.lols.-, according
to location and quality, aro discovered
by the aid of the magnifying glass,
which is indispensable to tho expert.
Every gem undergoes tho same scrutiny.
It is turned in all directions and viewed
from all points. In comparison with
tho number eif imperfect stones, tho real
gems are rare. After tho entire lot lias
been examined the appraisement is made
and a duty of 10 per cent, added to the
price. There is rarely any difference
between the government appraiser's cal
culations and tho invoiced prices of
stones.
Appraising diamonds is very hard on
the eyes. Tho sparkle and glisten of tho
stones cause colors to danco beforo the
inspector's t?yos, rendering miuuto scru
tiny difficult. A short rest restores tho
tired eyes, and tho examination is re
sumed. The whole process is an ex
tremely interesting one, and is made
more so by the general air of mystery
which surrounds the diamond appraise
ments. The- precious stones are shipped
from the principal European diamond
centers in wooden boxes about six inches
long and half that depth and width.
Nothing appears more careless, but in
roalit' this method is the safest that
could bo adopted. None but tho shrewd
est thief would suspect that an ordinary
wooden box, handled liko any piece of
express matter, contained a fortune in
diamonds. It is rarely that they go
astray, and tho European agent of a big
importing houso can ship his purchase
directly from tho diamond centers in
plain boxes, subject to regular exprc-ss
rates, with no fear as to their safe ar
rival. New York Star.
Irregular.
Tho little steamboats which run on the
Florida rivers aro reported to have a very
elastic schedule of time to run upon.
Tho habits of tho easy going people aro
no eloubt to bo credited with tho uncer
tain movements of the craft. A writer
from that stato says that no one seems
to know exactly when tho boat will ar
rive or depart, and, moreover, no one
seems to caro or to think that it matters
at all.
"If sho does not como today sho will
to-morrow," is tho prevalent tone of an
swer to inquiries. "She'll bo along about
5 o'clock." "No, sho won't: shell not
come till 9 or 10." "She'll run down to
Melbourne next trip." "No, sho won't;
she'll stop here," and so forth, say our
various sources of information.
There is a tiny littlo steamer, which is
announced and intended to run to the
southern end of the river, and which
looks liko a coffee pot as it comes puffing
fussily along, when we see it at last. For
somo days wo elo not seo it; and further,
no one seems to know exactly where tho
littlo craft is.
"Say, have you seen tho Haul-over?"
""Well, tho Diana, sho saw her tho day
beforo yerterday up river."
"She went up this morning.
""Why, sho went down j-esterday."
Says one, in compassionato tones: 5'The
poor thing's took sick and stopped for a
little rest. Laid up for repairs at the
blacksmith's." This last surmise turns
out to bo the correct one. Youth's Com
panion. All Abont Laughter.
It lias been observed that laughter is
indicative of particular temper and char
acter, according to tho sound of the
vowel that prevails in cachinnation.
Persons that laugh in a broad Latin
"A" aro open hearted, honest people,
fond of noisy jocundity, but perhaps of
volublo mood. Excessive jerking laugh
ter, however, is an evidence of viilgar
jty. Those laughing in a dry "A" are
respectable, but littlo expansive, and a
hard lot of people. When the Latin
"E" prevails, there prevails also a phleg
matic, melancholy temper. Timorous,
unsteady people, also those imbued with
malignity, laugh in a kind of swelling
"L" Laughter in "O" is the utteranca
of proud, bejd, imperative, somewhat
bantering peoi le. Iieware of those that
jn "co" (o). They are traitors, haters,
Bcorners. Boston Budget.
An Cntinicly Gesture.
Tho following is extracted from an ad
dress by tbe bishop of Peterborough (Dr.
Magee) to a class of candidates for ordi
nation: "Most of you," he said, "will do well
to a void action in the pulpit. I shall
never forget a raw boned curate I once
had, with hands like legs of mutton. I
can see him still preparing foragranel
peroration, and leaning over the pulpit
with outstretched dependent palms, as he
exclaimed, "Paws, me brethren, paws!'"
London Exchaujre.
Italian tm Ik Argentine Jj-rctlln.
Duringthe hut thirty-three ycaranlxiut
a million and a half immigrants have
leached the Argentine provinces. Of
these. 05.25 per cent, are officially Set
down i.s Italians. These figures, how
ever, do not sufficiently indicate their
real preponderance. In the lir.-t place, a
fourth of the total immigrants are not
classified except as entering the state by
way of Uoiitevideo, where it is very
common for transshipmcnlsof passengers
from Europe to take place. Probably
if the Montevideo returns were analyzed,
the percentage of Italians woulu work
eut as not less than 75 jx r cent, of the
whole. But there is another and stiil
more important fact tcbe borne in mind.
The Italians in South America increase
with remarkable rapidity, the marriages
made between them and the natives
proving peculiarly fruitful a circum
stance U'tit observed in such a high de
gree among the other immigrants.
In 1S5 the Italian chamber of com
merce of Buenos Ay res calculated that
the inhabitants of Italian birth and pa
rentage then residing iu the republic
numbered over a million, while at the
present moment it is c.-t hunted that per
sons in whom Italian blood or Italian
race influence predominates, constitute
more-than half the existing population,
now reckoned to be over three millions
and a half. Under such circumstances
can it le doubted that in a very few
years the Italianizatioii of tho Valley of
the Plato will be complete?
The only fact that tells against such a
r.unposit ion is the newly adoo'" 1 i cei
gii..ioii poiii oi ;i.o A i'0c.n loo go . em
inent, which has lately instructed its
agents in Europe to do all in their power
to attract immigration, from among the
northern races. The danger of being
swamped by lho most vigorous of the
Latin peoples is fully realized at Buenos
Ay res, and considerable numbers of Bel
gians, Hollanders, North C rmans and
Swedes have already been aft racted by
almost free passages and generous grant:;
of land. We doubt, however, the con
tinued sue. -ess of such a j.olie
gratiou Hows with difficulty
channels. The Spectat r.
Endue-w
in
Killing Mrs. I'rotitlie,
When Dickens vras remonstrated wi(!i
by hosts of London ladies for killing
"Little Paid Donibey," a critic said, "If
Dickens don't kill Paul, Paul will kill
Dickens." The critic thought that if
Dickens had allowed Paul to grow u;
into manhood, he, tho author, would
have failed in fitting him to his sur
roundings, and thus injured his own
reputation.
While Anthony Trollopo was writing
"Tho Last Chronicle of Barset'ho sur
prised u friend one tlay by saying to
him, "There's the end of Mrs. Proudie!"
"Why?" asked tho friend.
Mr. Trollopo replied that ho was writ
ing one day in the club
while
Lrathert
group or young clergymen.
around tho fireplace, were talking about
tho novel, which was appearing as a
serial. He could not l.oip' overhearing
them, S they praised the work, but.
agreed that Mrs. Proudie was becoming
an intolerable nuisance.
""What did yen do?'' asked tho friend.
"Well," replied Troliopo, "I hesitated
a good deal what to do; but I finally
made up my mind and went up to them
and explained that I couldn't help hear
ing what they were saying, and I added.
'I am very much obliged to you. I am
Anthonv Trollopo, and I'll go homo and
kill Mrs". Proudie."
And so ho elid. Youth's Companion.
Kovr to lio 'iiiart.
The gingham kind is to the fore, and
mankind being ignorant, talks about
sweet simplicity and doesn't know that
it is mounted on silk and is quite as costly
as a woolen one would be.
To be smart, you must sit up straight
in your victoria and not loll in one corner
of "it.
Your shoes must shine, even if you
haven't time to cultivate your intellect.
Tho outside world only sees the bright
ness at one end.
You must wonder if really nice people
ever elid wear diamond ear rings excent
at balls.
You must w ear your gloves neither too
tight nor too loose, but to fit.
And if jeai want to achieve the very
height of smart indifference, you must
languidly ask tho sister of tho man you
aro going to marry "what his first nuiuo
is?''
Kefornilng Prisoners.
Thero is one fact in connection with
prisoners and punishment that has bu.n
positively established; that is, tliat it is
possible to transform these schools of
critno into schools for reformation and
education. Tho record of prisoners re
turned to prison after one term of service
to the state has heretofore been from 60
to 90 per cent. This percentage has been
reduced by the methods for mind and
body culture adopted by the Elmira re
formatory to 13. This 15 per cent, may
yet be decreased farther when raw legis
lators will consent to let the expert man
agers quite uione, after giving them
requisite state aid. The suppression of
crime can be secured only by tho sup
pression of criminals. They mu-t Ix;
transformed into honest citizens. St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
A Iiro Grape Vine,
The largest vine in hi world is said to
be one giowing at Oys, Portugal, which
has been in bearing since ISO;?. Its maxi
mum yield was in 1SG4, in which year it
produced a sufficient quantity of grapo
to make 1G5 gallons of wino; in ISM,
HGJ gallons, and .n I5s4 only 79J gal
lons. It covers an area of 5.315 souato
feet, and the stem at the base measures
0 feet in circumference. New York
Telegram..
A Precocious Town Youngster,
A Second street mother discovered a
pack of cards in the pocket of her young
hopeful and threw it into a little bonfire
in the back yard. She forgave tho bright
youngster when he attempted to tramp
out the fire, singing the while: "The
Boy Stood on the Burning Peck." )a
luth Tribune.
It. B. WlKUHAM, JlillM A. DAVIKM,
Notary l'ulille. Notmy 1 ubltc
avii;iai A ia.vii:m,
ttornoys - at - Law.
Clllee ovoi II. .iik i f l'ah ('(inly,
riVTiKMonru, - Nkiskakka
C. F. S M I T H,
The Boss Tailor
M.ihi St.. Oti r Mei k'- ' l-'lioe !-'toie.
I bis the best and limsl in 1. t -Uh k
of siimph s, both fen ign mid h lnestic
Woolens that e it mine VwM of Missouri
MVer. Note tin .-e pi in s: 1 1 1 j i im Ml i I rt
from l; to :;5, l:t- mils, ".'' to if. 15,
pants.!, 5, p;, p.r,i) and up winds.
Will giiiumitec 11 fit.
Prices Defy Comcolition.
H. C. SCHMIDT,
or.N'i v .1 i: 1 nit,)
Civil EnhuuT
Surveyor and Draftsman
Plans, Specifications and IMhnati s. Mu
nicipal Woik, Maps Arc.
PLAT7SWCUTH. - - KEB
THE OLD iiEU, UL2.
I h. WAYE-A:; k m
V!;o!t's;kV him! lUt;.!l I('ii!r In
m 9
UmL HUH)
1 6 fc i M O-c. E U E it. I I
Shingles, Lalli, Sail),
Tnnv R I yr. c q
JW VjsT W k W Cu Is 3 5 i v.--J ;3 M
Can supply very ih jiiiiiid of the tiadj
Call roe.l g, f t'";;i.4. l'otu f 1, st n et
111 Ie ar of Op-T.-i IImij-.:.
-w liri.'iLLLiiAUhiiii,
Wiigon and B!;; kt m'th Shop.
Wagon, Buggy,
Maciihiesmd IMow
A Specialty, lie uses the
ft"? it.
4-9 v aA-i, 'top u&fji 4r
Horseshoe, the Bu t Hors Mioe lor the
Farmer, or for Fust I.'.iving ami City
purpose, eve-r inventi d. It i.s made mi
anyone can can put on sharp or flat corks
its needed for v.; t and slippery roads, or
smooth d.-y rends. Call ninl Examine
these Shoes and you will have no other.
J. M.Schnelibacher,
5th St., Plaltsnioulh, Nth.
Eobert Donnelly's
Wagon and
Blacksmith
SHOP
Wa-ens, I'.ilt'-lcs, ::i ;;i:t". (.Hi'eKlv 1 'pailtil :
1 ! .-i:;;tri t-r
i-.ij:! '
.fob U.jm;,
Horseshoeing f; Specially
1 is;: tii 1:
it.n-sr sl;! w!,i-!i -l'arj tir; i m i" ;s it v. fun
awiiy. .-.i iln ie is never any :";. 'it i-r el your
Hiiis-.s;;ij;i tr a!i(l linr!;i io--:f. Call
ai d f-.ai: in- tint; M.oe ;! yen will
Have sootJicr. Jicxlfc-hoe suaib.
ROBERT DONNELLY
SIXTH ST., - PLATTS.MOUTII
C'r i.x QJ ".sV A MONTH ma.-le
j efi-iT.-'d lA'tK oau fin:. I-!: a l oi-c ami j-'ive
lli'jir w I i ti;a" to l!i e tiuvrn-s-. S-ir mem
em. -i nriy ! i-mSia' .Jv e-n:;.'; eil al-n. A fi'W
vwuiiciis ii. i-.wiis an'! i-i.i. Is. K. .JOH.N
sov & co. ti fiii M:-i!i--t.. !;!;.. '.nl. 'a.
A". Ti. T'lc.-r Kir; U: fir t;nl i.-..'n .-. tr)ir-
liui re. Xi.rn- niirf nlut rar'iii'j tlauijt fur rc
ui it. It. F. J . V C'o.
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