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About The Plattsmouth daily herald. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1883-19?? | View Entire Issue (June 8, 1889)
THE DAILY IIEIlALD : FLATTSMOOTB 'NEBRASKA, SATURDAY, JUNE S, 1689.
CHOKING UP WITH WASTE.
INFORMATION CONCERNING THE
BODY'S DRAINAGE SYSTEM. ,
Tlie Proper Work of tho Httveo Million
1'ort-o In I he fcklu Iit-ncfiu of )fultliy
I'erppirliig FfTVoU v-ie of Turkish
Rntlift How to Krei In liowl Condition.
The generality of people enjoy much
letter health during summer than in
winter. This unquestionably the rule
with those of sedentary occupations who
Are 1i-nieil tmflicient excrciae. Probably
the principal reason is that during the
warm wason the skin ii much the most
active, ami sweating lx always tnore or
lews profuse. Perhaps it is too much to
lay that thoso who do not 6weat easily
Urid orteu cannot Iks healthy; hut it cer
tainly would Iks letter for all could they
by some means the lest ij exercise
Cianao to work themselves Into a per
ipiratioii every day.
TWr.NTY-FIVE MILES OF DRAINAGE.
It i.s roughly estimated that there are
7,000,000 pores in the skin which oien on
its surface. They are .1 very largo part
cf the body's sewerage system; and
come one with patient calculation has
reached the solution that these pores are
el u ice gates for over twenty-five miles
cf drainage. It is very evident that
health largely depends upon the good
working condition of .this drainage sys
tem, and if the outlets the pores are
blocked up, the waste matters mubt le
diverted into other channels.
Other avenues notably the lxwels
and Kidneys have lecn provided by na
ture for the discharge of wasto from the
system, but they have sufticient work of
tUcir own to do and, while they would
patiently reswnd for a time toany extra
.'.iii.in.l 3 uon them, sooner or later, un
less r liovod of the unusual burden, they
would shows tigus of distress, and be
come so crippled they would 110 longer
. be able to perform properly even their
own legitimate wxrk. The wasto which
should le thrown off through the skin
r;mnot Ik; entirely diverted and sent out
throug h other channels; much of it must
remain locKed up in the system. When
its natural outlet is oljstructed, some of it
permeates tho tiui-s of the body, enters
the blood, and is distributed about in the
y-teui, and sn produces diseased of vari
JJy frequent bathing the pores are
kept fairly well opened, but it will be
c lear to all that tho little tubes can only
bo kept ierfectly free by frequent Hush
ing. When a jicrson gets into a good
pweat th-: outflow is considerable and
the channels nre well washed out. If
that, lialutary process takes place every
day, and the Ixxly is duly cleaned by
ono or two baths a week, in that direc
tion at hast about all is being done
which can be done to keep tho skin ac
;ive and healthy. Daily exercise, to meet
.-.11 requirements, should be carried far
t noxtgh to produce quite a free perspira
tion. It is unde!iub!ya fact that a very large
proportion of the Ills which man sulfers
from are due to olsti-y.etjoi in the skin
t,y st em of drainage. That fault is almost
riwnys present in thoso who take cold
easily and in tlo?e who are victims to
neuralgia, sleeplessness, dyspepsia, bil
iousnes, out, etc. And this class is
largely made up of people who live in
active or sedentary lives. Were thi3
liability cf tho system to choke up with
vvasle luliy aifociatcd by people gen
erally, and means to obviate it conscien
tiously taken, infinitely less medicine
would be ;:r-cdd in tho world than is
THE EATHS THE THINGS.
Vi'herc sufficient exercise cannot be
taken to obviate the defect, tho next best
means is tho hot air bath. Such a bath
can, of course, be taken in one's own
home, something after the same method
us the old fashioned rutn sweating pro
cess. Put any domestic arrangement
must bo incomplete in the absence of the
f.hower bath, the hand rubbing, etc. All
the essentials arc- found in the Turkish
bath, which some physicians have even
gone so far as to say is the most power
tul and certain, and at the samo time the
gafebt and most agreeable therapeutic
agents in existence. One of them quite
ri.ehtly says that a person can remove as
much of the oisonous and effete matter
from tho lxly in one hour in a Tuikish
frath as can be removed by other means
i:i twenty-four hours. In this form of
fcath, as Professor Erasmus Wilson says,
"the skin acquires color, freshness, firm
ness and elasticity; it loses the muddy
and faded hues of ill health and tbe
rarched and wrinkled aspec t of infirm
ity and age, oad it procures for the
Labituil bather exercise, health and
life." As for the effects of tbe Turkish
bath upon tho disordered liver and kid
su'ys, they are very marked indeed. Not
only does it Hit no small part of their
work, and ed give then a chance to re
c up:-rate, but it draws the blood from
l hem to the surface of the body, and so
relieves congestion, and, hence, obviates
a strong tendency to disease.
Turkish baths are efficient in reducing
weight; therefore, it is held that they
are contra indicated for those who are
thin. Dut, strange as it may seem, they
act both ways. Where a person is what is
so aptly termed "soft and flabby," and is
overloaded with fat, they reduce him;
whereas a person in poor health and
thin, they, by restoring the system to a
normal condition, increase the bodily
weight. Boston Herald.
A Woman's Scrap Hook.
Jt is quite tho thing in aristocratic cir
cles for ladies to collect fashion plates
and compare ancient and modern styles.
There is a lady living in the West End
who has a 6ma.ll library of scrap looks
filled with nothing but dress designs.
Tho collection has been made purely for
pastime, but it is really very valuable.
A careful study of it affords another
Iroof of the saying that there is nothing
new under the 6un. The so called new
est fasHons arc, nine time3 out of ten,
jalpablo modifications of designs dis
carded many years ago as out of date.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
BEAUTY IN THE FOOT.
Mvt an Unimportant Matter In the Make
up of a I'crfect Woman.
"The girl of the pertoU' generously
says a prominent chiropodist, "is devot
ing herself more and more to tho study
of her foot. She has found out that this
instrument is capable of almost as much
development for strength and beauty
(really synonymous terms) as her hand.
She knows that the splendid exercise of
piano playing, in which each finger and
every muscle of the hand, wrist and arm
is developed to the greatest state of elas
ticity and to beauty's own moldings, con
tains tho very hint she wants to follow
in the development of tho foot. No, she
is not going to play tho piano with her
feet, but she is going through a lot of
gymnastic exercises with them. She sits
on the bed every morning working her
toes, then she walks around the room on
her bare toes, and straightening out her
ankle, like a ballet girl, with every 6tep.
She linds at first that she can hardly raise
herself 011 tho bulls of her feet and walk
"Presently that becomes easy. In a
week or so tho exercise will accomplish
that much. Then she grows able to lift
herself off even the bulls of her feet on to
the very toes alone for moments at a
time. Then she sits down on the bed
and gives them lighter exercises, just by
working them until they will move in
dependently of each other. At first she
has to pull them with her hands as far
as possiblo in all different directions, just
like tire pianist practices his hands on tho
technicon. They are very awkward at
lirst, just as the fingers would have been
if not practised, and, indeed, as many
people's fingers are. She is no longer a
victim to tho foolish prejudice against
spreading her foot out on tho floor. She
is no longer a victim of tho illusion to
the eye, ignorant of art, that littleness is
beauty. She no longer desires a set of
cramped toes, but spreads them out on
the floor and tries to make them assume
tho square, beautiful proportions of the
baby's sweet foot.
"In fact the foot development craze
with the fashionable progressive girl of
tho period may be called the baby foot'
craze. These exercises of tho foot and
toes make them able to spring twice as
far off their feet. Sho is constantly seek
ing better shoes. She is doing just the
reverse of what 6he used to do when she
fought with her shoemaker because the
shoe was not light enough. She is now
constantly fighting with him to get them
broader at tho toes, and many a girl who
is proud of her new sensible, progressiva
idea will hold the toe of a broad shoe in
iew for you in the street cars, at home
"Many jokes arc cracked on the corn
doctors in tho papers, but wo always ad
vise people to wear anything but pointed
shoes. The foot and toes should have
all tho freedom of the hand and fingers.
A great many girls also ask us for advice
about curing pigeon toe. It is a curious
thing that many girls live all their lives
and are laughed at by the boys for walk
ing pigeon toed, when they never notice
that they walk differently from other
people. Hut those who have it can cor
rect it to a great extent by practice. I
advis&d several young ladies in a practice
which they say ha great!; iniprsyJ
them. That is to get before a mirror hi
their dressing rooms and walk toward
it, stepping high and extending the leg
straight out toward the glass at every
step. They thus find when the foot lights
how it crosses in upon the vertical plane
which the other foot must reverse for its
movements. They thus see how the legs
are net hinged quite projeiiy, and learn
to move them in parallel planes. Step
piug forward and backward toward the
mirror will frequently correct piereon
toed walking." Philadelphia Inquirer.
rtSHerjr iu the Future.
As tho range of guR3 in the field . is
augmented battles will more than ever
be prepared by cannon, batteries will
open Gre at distances of miles, and the
adversary's batteries must, at least, be
weakened before infantry can yentura
to advance, except under very peculiar
circumstances. The power of modern
cannon is so tremendous that, when hos
tile batteries come jnto conflict at any
thing like reasonably near distances, viz.,
from 1,500 to 2,500 yards, tho duel can
scarcely last long. We shall see no can
nonades like that directed against La
Haye Sainte, which lasted for jiour?, and
the victory will belong to the artillery
chiefs who, with anything like an equal
ity of force, lay their guns best, take
most accurate sip?, avoid 6alvos and
wild discharges, take care that their met
are not hurried, and, above all, can en
filade their enemy a process now more
than over destructive.
For the reasons to which we have re
ferred before the system of artillery re
serves should be given up as completely
obsolete; no efforts should be spared to
bring forward every available gun as
quickly aa pocsjble, nnl the organization
of the three arms- should be so arranged
as to secure this object, the pieces and
their trains being always kept in close
contact Tyith the rest of the army and
capable of rapid moment; to jhe front.
For the rest artillery should be always
ready and equal to contend in the field
with infantry; it should consider itself a
more powerful errn in anything like an
equal struggle, and once it has been
placed in its true position it should, if
possible, never fall back. At the same
time, in our judgment at least, artillery,
owing to the vast spaces of battlefields in
modern war, may on many occasions be
greatly imperiled. The Academy.
1 . -
Hot Aixioo for tle Jolt.
"John, wake upl I hear a noisa p the
kitchen. There's somebody in the house!"
(Jumping out of bad.) "Doa't be
afraid, Maria. I'll drive him out! Bo
"Don't go down that steep stairway
with your revolver cocked, John. It
might go off before you are ready."
(Crawling back into bed again.) "Mrs.
Bill us, if you haven't any confidence in
my management of burglars you can
take the revolver and go down yourself."
A THOUGHT AWAKENER.
Dr. Philalcthes Sparkle was a great
man in a small way He was tho vicar
of an important suburban church, where
in a highly respectablo and not wholly
unintelligent congregation was wont to
assemble for worship. In tliat congrega
tion the pastor had no enemies, whllo he
could boast of a largo number of thor
ough going and ardent admirers. The
man was admittedly well fitted for his
post. He was kind hc-arterl, liberal
minded, quick witted, a fluent speaker
and, in the opinion of many, a thought
ful as well as an eloquent preacher.
I3ut, in truth, "thoughtful" was just
what Dr. Sparkle was not. Ilia great
difficulty and one that increased weekly
was about ideas. When he knew what
to say he could say it well. No man could
produce a more brilliant "coruscation"
or effectivo Hare up from a paltry amount
of material; hut then tho fuel had tocouie
from somewhere, and that was tho doc
tor's difficulty. lie bad a reputation to
maintain, and he was fully, almost pain
fully, conscious of the fact. When Mr.
Grundy, the people's warden, invited a
friend homo for Sunday he would say,
"Tho missus will do tho best 6he can to
provide n bit of dinner, and we can prom
ise you a good 6ermon, at all events."
Grundy, who Was a good fellow though
a jerry builder, used to repeat his fittle
joke to the parson, and no doubt he was
a fair representative of many others in
Under these circumstances, and being
sorely harassed by the recurrent drying
up of tho well spring of his ideas, Dr.
Sparkle had his attention arrested one
morning by an artfully worded circular
which ho found among his letters. It
began as follows:
"Strictly Private Ad Clerum.
"Moved by tho spirit of sympathy and
actuated, as ho humbly hopes, by a de
sire to promote tho highest ends, the
writer addresses himself to- his over
wrought and 6orely oppressed brethren.
Having had an exceptionally wide ex
perience of parish work in town and
country, 'among rich and poor, educa
ted and ignorant, he believes himself
to be fully conversant with the tastes
and requirements of each separate class
in tho community. No pno better than
tho present writer knows what it is to
have to prepare amid a multitude of
other vocations- two, three or more ser
mons a week. He has suffered himself,
and can therefore feel for his brethren
who are suffering. Accordingly he is
anxious, at the lowest price that will
cover actual outlay, to impart to his
brethren the results of a system of ser
mon production which has been per
fected by himself after years of anxious
toil and profound study."
After a good deal more of this sort of
thing, tho circular went on to explain
that clients could be provided either (1)
with the finished article, i. e., a litho
graphed sermon ready for immediate
delivery, and carefully adapted to any
specified clas3 of hearers; or (2) with a
"thought awakener" or skeleton, con
taining outlines, illustrations, applica
tions, etc., which could be filled in or
amplified according to the tastes and
talents of the purchasers. Finally a
guarantee was given that the eamo eer
mon or body of notes' would never be
sent to two clergymen residing within
fifty miles of each other, and that 3 far
as possible a yet wider area of distribu
tion would be observed.
Dr. Sparkle smiled as he read the
bonibastjc document, and was about to
throw it into the waste paper basket
when something stayed his hand.
"I wonder whether many clergymen
avail themselves of- this sort of thing,
my dear?" he gaid, tossing the circular
to his faith fid wife, who generally eat
with him for an hour of a morning.
"To deliberately get up and read anoth
er roan's sermon seems to me absolutely
"Iut all men are not gifted like you,
Lethe, dear, and I suppose there are
some who find it very difficult to preach
a good sermon," suggested Mrs. Sparkle.
"It is the dishonesty of the thing that
shocks me," explained the doctor. "If
a man can't write a sermon or hasn't
time, let him honestly say so. Let him
take a printed book and read from it;
but to go into the pulpit with a litho
graph and deliver it as his own is a
tlung I cannot conceive any Christian
man daring to do."
"It would be different if it were only
the notes," said the lady, who had been
examining a specimen "thought awak
ener" that had been inclosed "with the
"I don't like the idea at all; it savors
of untruthfulness," repUed the vicar in
a lofty tone.
Mis. Sparkle felt rebuked, not bo
much for what she had said as for some
thing she had ventured to think.
Some time after this the vicar found
it necessary to appoint c new curate, tho
pld one haying married, o, rich wife and
forthwith kicked over the traces. The
requirements for the vacant office were
a gentlemanly presence, a good clear
Toice and just such an. amount of preach'
ing ability as would satisfy the congro
gation without endangering the vicar's
ascendency and popularity. Among the
several applicants tho doctor's favorite
was the Rev. Jonathan Cribl)er. But as
it Was necessary, in, appearance at least,
to consult the wishes of the congregation
(who were expected to find the funds), it
was arranged that, before arriving at a
decision, the young man should be in
vited to preach on a certain Sunday even-
inSTi "?Pt of couisfV trial oemioq,"
the vicar was careful to explain; "that
is a thing I abominate and would always,
set my face agajnst, but just to Je you
see my people, try your voice, and that
sort of thing." Cribber, being a prudent
young man, was quite satisfied with tfis
way of putting it,
Wlien the dsy arrived 00 which Mr.
Cribber was "to try his voice," Dr.
Sparkle was suffering from a bad cold.
In the morning, being single handed, he
had no choice but to get through the
service as well as he could; and being a
man who, when put to. it, was always
equal to the occasion, ho acquitted kirn-
. -. - t ". - ' -v--- -
self very creditably. lie deliveicd a
striking and pathetic address from the
words, "the foolishness of preaching,"
and tho physical disability under which
ho was evidently laboring only served to
heighten the effect of his allusions to tho
"earthen vessels" to which celestial
treasures were so often intrusted. But
in the evening, obedient to his doctor's
orders, the good man 6tayed at home,
leaving the whole servico to Mr. Cribber,
and submitting himself patiently to buch
coddling measures as his wife thought
As the night drew on Dr. Sparkle be
came very much depressed, despite all
his wife's efforts to cheer him.
"I am suro you would have been
pleased, dear, if you could have heard
the way the people epoko of you when
coming out of church this morning.
The Grundys .had some friends with
them, and they said that they had never
heard a better sermon."
Generally the vicar was keen enough
to listen to any little bit of tittle-tattle
of a flattering character, but on the pres
ent occasion ho seemed distressed rather
than pleased. Turning uneasily on his
pillow his wife had made him go to
bed early he merely said in a languid
"And you, my dear what did you
think of it?"
"I think it was the most beautiful ser
mon you ever preached," replied the lady
enthusiastically, "though all your ser
mons have been splendid of late. Some
months ago, you remember, you com
plained of feeling exhausted, and insist
ed that the fountain of your i''"-as was
drying up. But it bems to mu that ever
since your ideas have been brighter and
more original than formerly; they have
bubbled and sparkled as though to match
This was an old family joke, and it
always used to please him. Now, how
ever, it seemed to have lost its efficacy.
Tho worthy man threw his arms impa
tiently on the counterpane, and ex
"I feel exhausted and utterly dried up
to-night anyhow. I'm fit for nothing."
"You have studied too hard, Lethe,
dear. Your brain has been over
wrought," said Mrs. Sparkle affection
ately. "We must go for a nice long
holiday when the new curate comes.
Only last week Dr. Brigg 6aid that if
ever a man had earned a holiday you
"Ah, by the way, I wonder how Crib
ber is getting on?" interrupted the vicar,
glad, apparently, to chango tho topic of
conversation. "I should like to have
heard him for myself." . .
"You are better where you are, dear,
much better," urged tho good woman,
as' she carefully tucked him in for the
night. "Mr. Grundy will bring us all
tho news in the morning, and then we
can talk things over."
"Tho important thing is what Mrs.
Grundy, the mouthpiece of he flock,
will say," remarked the vicar, as he
settled himself among tho pillows,
pleased apparently with his own wit.
On Monday morning tho vicar was so
far rccoveredthat ho was able to receive
Mr. Grundy in his 6tudy Tho worthy
church warden was evidently ill at ease.
His inquiries as to the pastors health
weve profuse and long drawn out; his ob
servations on the weather were diffuse
and inconsistent. At length Dr. Sparkle
found it necessary to bring him to thc
point. "Well, Mr. Grundy, I am waiting to
hear how everything went off last night."
"Oh, first rate, sir, first rate. Large
congregation,beantful anthem, offertory
above the average.''
"And Mr. Cribber?"
"A most excellent young man, as I
believe, sir. Fine voice, made a good
impression that is, on those who hadn't
heard you in tho morning."
Tho vicar smiled, and looked well
pleased tt what lie deemed to be a neat
compliment intended for himself.
"Well, my friend, you must remember
he is but a young man and without mu.fh
experience. Wc ought not to be too criti
cal. We all had to make a beginning
"It isn't that, sir. It was the cph-ici
dence that struck the people."
"The what?" exclaimed Dr. Sparkle,
a vague sense of uneasiness creepinj
"The coincidence, sir. He gave Ud
"The Foolishness cf Preaching' over
agr,in. I mean his text was the same as
that which you so ably expounded in
"Rather awkward," laughed the vicar.
"I fear it would have embarrassed the
poor young fellow had ho known about
it; but, after all, the thing might easily
happen. Tho words arc in the evening
lesson, though I took then for my text
in the mprniug, You sec, the arrange
ment for Mr. Cribber to preach was
t hurriedly made."
"But it isn't only tho text it is tho
sermon itself the people pre telig
about, sir. I didn't pay much attention
myself, but Mrs. Grundy will have it
that, though the words were different,
the substance, the backbone, the skele
ton was just the same,"
"The skeleton!" exclaimed the icar
in a horror stricken voice.
"Well, that's the word my wife used,"
said the church warden apologetically.
"I didn't quite follow her myself; for,
though Pve heard of people having skele
tons in a cupboard, I never knew of one
in a pulpit." Mr. Grundy laughed at his
own smartness, but a dark cloud settled
upon the broad brow of Dr. Sparkle.
"I think," he at last said gTell.
"that the peopje must have been misled
by some passing resemblances and fan
cied analogies. Heat ing the same text,
the thoughts of those who were present
in the niomiug would naturally run in
the lines suggested by my treatment of
the subject, and they would tlms, read
a meaning and ft reft fence in tho per
haps confused language of a young and
inexperienced preacher, which were not
really .intended to be conveyed by him."
Mr. Grundy, who had a profound V?1
Epect for the vicar, was. duly impressed
with this exppskion, of the case; but re
calling the w ithering criticisms to which
the unf ordinate Cribber' had been sub
jected by Mrs, Grundy and her friend?
at the snpi r table the previous niht,
he ventured to make a f urther btaud.
"No doubt there is great force iu what
you bay, sir, and you ure well 1. lulled
in the workings of tho human mind, ns
becomes an able minister of tho New
Testament; but there are some things
Mrs. Grundy and thoso I have heard
speak can't cc't over headsand divisions
and illustrations all coming iu pat."
Poor Dr. Sparkle was in a terrible fix.
So far as words went ho had always been
truthful, and ho was not naturally a mean
man; but what was ho to do now? There
was Grundy waiting to bo gulled, and jt
was incumbent on him to say something.
He gave a littlo sigh and t-poke in his
"Well, you see, Mr. Grundy, not hav
ing heard this wonderful sermon, I can
not discuss the matter in detail; nor
would I wish to think anything to the
disparagement of a young man who has
been very highly recommended to me.
Several partial solutions occur to me,
none of them reflecting unduly on Mr.
Cribber. Possibly wo may havo looked
into tho same commentary"
Mr. Grundy gave a knowing nod.
"Possibly Mr. Cribler may have reai
some article of mine in ono or other of
the religious periodicals treating of this
subject. I say jtossiMy, though I do not
at this moment recall having written
anything about it."
Mr. Grundy1 gave another yet more
"And there is yet another hypothesis
connected with the obscure topic of un
conscious cerebration and reminiscence.
I tell you cnndidlv I havo f rep chef' . rn
that toxt .x. lure at the Ai.l.oy oj.u in.U
elsewhere perhaps. Mr. Cribber may
have heard me. My thoughts may have
passed into an impressionable mind.
They may have been reproduced without
th3 slightest consciousness on his part
that they were not strictly original There
havo been remarkable instances of this
Mr. Grundy was evidently impressed.
"I think," he said, "I can understand
how it has happened now, and the expla
nation you have given is very interest
ing. But perhaps, under the circum
stances, you might find some more suit
able gentleman for the curacy."
"I almost think you aro right, Grun
dy," assented tho vicar, eagerly. "Mr.
Cribber seems scarcely up to tho mark
for such a congregation as ours. There
were several other applicants who were
highly recommended Mr. I'layfair, for
"I am sure lio would bo popular," said
tho church warden.
"Well, I shall give tho matter my
best consideration; and you may rec-t
assured it will bo my wish to do what
ever is for tho highest interests of tho
Dr. Sparkle spoko in his most dulcet
tone, but as soon as Mr. Grundy left
the room he sat down and wrote as fol
lows to the Rev. Jonathan:
"Dear Sir From what I hear of the
sermon delivered by you last night, I
regret that I am obliged to conclude
that you are altogether unsuited to my
curacy. My people have become accus
tomed to original, or at all events inde
pendent thought in the pulpit, and I do
not suppose you vould y ourself main
tain tho'applieability of either of these
words to the discourse with which you
favored them. I return the testimonials
you sent me, and remain yours, faith
fully, I. SiV.IiKLfc."
Having sent this ill tempered produc
tion to tho post, tho unfortunate man
was forthwith ashamed of himself and
would gladly have recalled it. He blamed
himself for all that bad happened, and
became a victim to horrible remorse and
abject fear. IIi3 wife, who had learned
something of what had passed, had her
own suspicions; but, like a wise woman,
she kept them to herself, and did her
best to comfort her husband.
That very afternoon tho Roy. Jona
than Cribber, in hot. indignation, sought
out the clerical agc-nt who had made uj
for his own lack of brains and energy,
and bearded him in his den.
At first he stated his case without
mentioning any names.
"I can only say," replied the suave
cleric who devoted his energies to help
ing his weaker brethren, "that for origin
ality of thought and fvtbluiess of treat
ment I consider 'The Foolishtress of
Preaching' to bo among uiy master
pieces. I could show you numerous let
ters that I have received in reference to
that very seunon. There must, I take
it, bo something very unfortunate in
your voice or mode of delivery. Now
I am about to form a clerical elocution
class, and I would stioiigly urge upon
-'My voice is excellent, sir! I have been
congratulated upon it again and again,'"
roared the Reverend Jonathan.
"I do not doubt its power, sir," re
pilied the clerical agent, with a depre
catory motion of the hand, "but it may
"You talk about letters, sir. Read
that," said tho irate Cribler, interrupt
ing him and flinging Dr. Sparkle's note
upon the table.
The agent read the tetter, and then,
after a few minutes' conversation, he re
marked: "Do you mean to say that you gave
then 'The Foeli&hness of Preaching' in
Pr, Sparkle's church?"
"I do; and why not? I paid you for
"You told me you were in Lincoln
diocese when I sent it to you."
"And so I was, but I came to town to
see after Dr. Sua rule's curacy. I had a
perfect right to preach tho sermon,"
said the Rev. Jonathan fiercely.
"Yes, I suppose you had at your own
risk," admitted the agent.
"But it has lost me an excellent cu
racy," continued the irate Cribber.
" And you havo lost me an excellent
cheat. Good morning."
On the following Sunday Dr. Sparkle's
pulpit was occupied by Mr. Play fair,
and it was announced that the vicar, in
obedience to the pcremptvry orders of
his medical adicv had gone abroad
for a few weeks.
The doctor is now. with his faithful
wif 3 by his side, recruiting his energies
and laying in a. rami no stock of fresh
ideas, U'J has uselved for the future
to have 110 secrets from Mrs. Sparkle,
and to eschew "skeletons." London
K. n. Wikiuiam, John a. Imvikh,
Nutaiy 1 uMlo. Koifuy JuUJo
Wlllf l A II.1VIKH.
Attornoyo - at - Xiaxxr.
Olliri; over I'.tinl; of (' County.
riATrsMOUTII, - Nr'. I'll AHh A
C. F. S M i T H,
The Boss Tailor
Main St.. vir Mci(;.'i- Slu e Si.tv
Ibis the hcit and limit oinph te r-bu k
of tfitlnph s, both fori-if.'ii mid I 1 1 e 1 i r
wodens tliHt ever euiiu: ui ' t of M i-0111 1
river. Note these prices: liu-incf-H Miit
from tlii to f:5r, drom suits, '." to if 4.1,
pHntsft, $.", (.', I ) r.nd upward.
fSTW'ill 11 11m litre 11 tit.
Prices Defy Comnolilion.
H. C. SCHMIDT,
inn.'STv m rvi 'i)
Surveyor and Draftsman
Plans, Specifications mu 1 I'. ,thnufe. Mu
nicipal Work, M:ips
PLATTS MOUTH. - - NEB
Dr. C. A. Marshal!.
Preservation of the NsitunJ Teeth a
Specialty. A uc I li t ics 'i v en fur I'ain-
rE"f Fll.f INC OH KXTUMTK.N OK Tl K'l JI.
Artificial teeth inside on 'Johl, I'ilver,
Rubber or Ylllil..id phile?-, sn:d nu lled
as soon as te th are extnuted when dn
All work warranted. Prices reasonable.
FlTZOFH Vl.ll'M ill.'Ji'K I'l.AT CH MOI, H . ll
Viiim and Chick: ii.il h Shop.
Midline inn! Plow
A !:peei;iity. lie hm-s the
2cr v & rt s 3. x &
IIoiehhoe, the I! ' t I !r. '. doe. tor tho
Fannu-, or for Fa.it Pi-ivinf; urn I City
purposes, ever invented. It is made w
anyone can can ni.t on shaipor )l;it ceiks
as uerded for wet :nnl slii.peiy i:id.s, or
smooth dry rondn. full iouI I'vimine
these Shoes and yon will hnye no other.
J. M. Schnelibaeher,
5th St., PMts-moull,, ITel,.
1 iti r v a
THE CUD RELIABLE.
H. 1 WATRRMAH k SON
WholenHle hii1 Kelall l-.altr In
Shingle, Lath, Sash,
Can supply every d.-i-i-ind of the tra.bi
Call and get terms. Fourth street
In Ucar of Opera II.us;.
Vagn, Bn!i"i, Mft-h:i.s (ui.ki- !:n-air-.l ;
Ho s iiai-f eiiPil an.i Geimii
Horseshoeing A Specially
Horsj"lioe, v.hi.fii iliaii.ci.s ;-- ! ? !t wear?
away. -in l: i :s cr-vci-n r'n.fr ct voir
llors !:pu.i- i;d L'.r,in;i' ( ail
t I ai:'l e.vntii::. t ! .-iir.e y. ,; v. ill
Have ijo utiiri-. fctM.Mioe made,
if; ROBERT DONNELLY
SIXTH ST., - - PLATToUOUTH
Or the Liquor Habit, Positively Cured
Ef ADMIitlSTCGIRQ DR. HAISfS' GDLBE f PEC!flC.
It con be given in a fur. of c(i'a or tea, or in ar-.
tielfcS ot food, without me kncsvle'i -e of the -on
taking it; it is absolutely hni ml. anl wiil
effect a perni&ueot and .s-eeiiv erne, whetliei
tiiepatientisa moderate (irinki'i oriii ale nlioli j"
wreck. IT NEVER FA ILS. e GUARANTEE
complete cure in every instaiice. 4-i page book
FREE. Ai'iresin confiiipiicr,
iclCf 5PCUFIC CO, i 8a Bac U Cincinnati, 0.
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