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About The Plattsmouth daily herald. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1883-19?? | View Entire Issue (June 9, 1888)
4 SMUGGLED GOODS. TRAVELER9 WHO TRY TO EVADE THE CUSTOM HOUSE DUTIES. DAILY IIERALD: IXATTSAluuTH, NEBRASKA; SATURDAY. JUNE 9, 188S. Method Adopted by the Flora. McFlInf J A Womu'i Inconsistency Mad Mnulhit-Aa Inspector Tlirown Off III Ouard Two KnglUb Dade. An Inspector of custom who has grown round shouldered In tlio business of rocoii l.oitoring for smuggled goods was asked the other day to relnto a few of his exerienccs during bis long term of service In the gov ernment's employ. After allowing his mem ory to drift backward a few teara ha rallWxl and first Instanced the caw of a lady who r& sides on licorou street. "Kho ia, iwid ho, "as rich a Croesus, and Is a shining mark in her philanthropic work. No one give more liberally to the cause of charity. No 0110 dispenses with a freer hand mouiui for spreading tho Ooiol In heathen lands. Bho bears the reputation of being a large heart!, full soulod Christian lady. Yet she swore falsely, an 1 believe, to the loarding officer. Bhe Ueclarel she had noth ing in her possession of a dutiable nature. There was something- about the woman's actions, however, that awakened suspicion. Aircful examination of her trunks uppar 0f perilled her statement There re J nued, however, a lingering doubt that she was trying to deceive. Acting upon this misgiving she was asked to step Into a small room m-ar by, which la used for the purpose of examining female passengers whose truth fulneaa has been challenged. Under her gar ment were found forty-four yards of tine black Lyons silk. The fabric had been toasted to her (lettlcoat. Bhe seemed over come with embarrassment when the discov ery was made. Her only, excuse was the very thin one that she was not aware the silk was dutiable, bhe was not asked why she concealed it. Is there any gauge by which the Inconsistency displayed by this woman can be measured LONG LIVE THS KINGL The king bt dead!" The velvet pail, witli Its thick stiver fringe, On the cold marble pavement streams; The iruttortng; candlns burning by the tser F lara In the fruxta: and aa be nod and dreams A dtjsy mock prays for the aoui'a rrprxte Thrusts his lean augers In his sleeves of sergs Watching aioue; the hour la not yet come For knell and reuieui and funeral dirge. "Long live the klngj" The smiling courtiers pauxe amid the fraxt And pledge their vows to tlteir new liege In wloej O'er uoddiug plumes and silks and flatthlng gems A thoiuiand tx-in Uh soft brilliance sbion; Laughter and Jct blend with the sound of flutes, Of harp and viol, and the Ix-avy air Is sweet with musk; only a little page Wees as he waits without upon the stair. M. lb K. In America. 6 ITERS OF DINNERS. WHY PRIVATE HOSPITALITY IS MADE PUBLIC IN PRINT. Jut What a Whang Is. In the wisdom of the ages there has come to be something in a name. A good house wife in a suburb of tawiston, whose reputa tion is of thrift, and whose wits are as keen as the razor's edg-o, issued cards not long ago. it is said, for an afternoon arty at her homo, terming it a "whang." A whang is an un knowu term in thnt vieinitv. all tinner 1, t had heard it employed in a metapboric or symbolic or liyrierholic seuso many times to the country jubilee of various kinds. The good ladies who were summoned didn't know what to do or how to dress, but they went Juut the same, full of curiosity, and in their most stunning toilettes. The hour was early viz., I p. in. when tlio larger part of them started. Dots were even against the Hold that it was aquilting bee, one to three that it was a rug bee, and even against tho Geld that it was just an ordinary party. When they got there they found the house in disorder, and everybody scrubbing for dear life. A whAig is a houseelcariing party, and some of the ladies aro sorry they didn't dress accordingly "uiuu ouruai. ffeelety Ladles Who Bcgalarly Report Their Recaptions Dlnwar Parties of the Swell Sort A Claavr Cua or Cooonbio K octal Slartyrdom. A few years ago entertainments, whether breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, receptions or balls, were given for the sake of sociability and pleasure, plus such distinction as may be gained by the giving In the circle In which one happens to mova But now these consid erations are subordinated 18 the passion for self advertising that rules society in all Its grades. It seems to be the reverse of deli cate, this blazon of names, of dress, and all the details in the press. And then to call it private hospitality, when it is made as pub lic as typo, printers' ink and widely circu lated newspapers can make it. Privacy has well nigh ceased, so far as aught relating to society Is concerned. If your friend lives in a plain way. Is socially obscuro, and prefers to be, you may take dinner at his houso with out any fear of seeing the fact chronicled the next morning. But if he has means, or is so cially ambitious in the least, you will be pretty certain to find your name, with others, in print, as elegantly entertained by Mr. John Jones, at .No. 'J.yyj Blank street. It might be supposed that only persons of a certain kind, who have no position, but are anxious to secure one, would bo eager to advertiso their entertainments. But the supposition would not te correct Th virc best people, as tbev are srt'lWi th - 2- r About two years ago, while an Inspector was making his rounds among the passen gers, a tall, good looking, finely dressed lady j iindgod hiia in the ribs and softly whispered, "Can 1 seo you privately a few moments She motioned the inspector to one side, at tlie same time keeping her eyes died upon two plainly dressed women who were standing - together near tho com pa nion way. "1 want to tell you," began the pretty siren, "that the two women you see over there have made a false declaration. Their stateroom was next to mine, and I overheard them on several oc casions during the trip planning a scheme to conceal from the customs officers a quantity of valuable goods they have in their posses sion. lou will do woll to make a careful examination of their baggage and the clothes they have on. 1 dislike deoeptioa 'ji any form, and make this disclosure in the interest of honesty." The Inspector thanked his fair informant, and promised that he would make a thorough investigation of the case. When the two swpected females had re ceived their baggage upon the wharf the In spector proceeded to make jl most careful search of their contents, but found no trace of valuables. The Inspector thought this was only a blind to throw him off the scent, and he asked an inspectress to search tho (tersons of the two women. This was done, but not a shadow of anything dutiable was found. It now began to dawn upon the mind of the inspector that ha had been tricked by the gay eavesdropper, and that sho was probably the one who waa trying to defraud the gov ernment, and not tho two ordinary looking females who had been under suspicion. It - was a neat little game to throw off suspicion, r but will never be worked again on the same V-ZTpcctor. It was afterward learned that the two women were Chicago school teachers, who had been abroad spending their summer vacation. They felt very much embarrassed atlho attention they received at the hands ' of the officers, and were at a loss to fathom its meaning. Tho poor old pedagogues prob ably never bad a dishonest thought enter their heads. An amusing Incident occurred four or five weeks ago on board a Cunarder, when two finely dressed ladies declared that they hod nothing in their possession upon which an impost duty should be levied. A few mo ments after taking tho oath they were seen in claso consultation, and their actions in dicated that they bad under consideration a matter of momentous importance. Finally, one of them accosted the customs officer, and said: "I guess I've made a mistake in declar ing us I did, as we have several articles in our trunks which should pay duty." It is no un usual occurrence to find these conscience stricken people. A little dumpy land of a man attempted to run In three now ulsters a short time ago as port of his own wearing apparel. Y"ben his trunk was opened and the garments taken out. bo was asked if he intended to wear the "toppers" himself. jp-"CertaInly I do," he replied. "I don't think the tailor gave you a very good fit; will you try one of them onf" "They were ail made from tho pattern of this one I have on," and the little man turned around twice. "I dont see the necessity of noing to the trouble of finding put whether the others fit mo." "1 am sure tho tailor must have mode a -laistake," persisted the inspector, "and The Increase f Mendicancy. Tho growing tendency to beliove that char ity is the mother of pauj.eri.sm and that our easy and disorderly dis;jensiiig of aid to men dicants is increasing beggary, is confirmed and strengthened by the exjierience of the city of Brooklyn. In the five years from 1S74 to 1S78, inclusive, tho number of per sons who asked and received outdoor relief from tho city increased between 50 and CO per cent., while population was Increasing less than 14 r cent. The inference seemed fairly to bo drawn thnt the masses were growing relatively poorer and oorer. But in 1S78 outdoor relief was wholly put an end to. It was feared by many that this would lead to vast su Oering; but it did nothing of tho kind. Not only was the 45,O0O drawing from the authorities dropped, but this drop ping caused, or was accompanied by a de crease of applicants to the public and pri vate societies. The true inference was that our system of charities encourages beggary and creates mendicancy. Globe-Democrat. Not Hard to Hit. Tho following anecdote admits of wide and varied application. Most of us can apply it to ourselves if we wilL It was a story of a minister who, preaching in tho pulpit of a brother clergyman, said some strong things about racing and fast horses. llo was told after the sermon that be had touched one of their best members at a ten der point. "Well," said the preacher, "I cannot change my sermon for him." Iu the evening tho man was introduced to the minister, who said, "I understand that what 1 said touched one of your weaknesses. I assure yoa that I was altogether uncon scious of the weakness when I said it." "Oh, never mind," said the man. "It Is a poor sermon that docs not hit me some where." Youth's Companion. To Save Drowning Jlen. A United States navy ofilcer has invented a life saving device for the dreaded emer gency of "man overboard" which promises to be of value A raft buoy of sufficient size to support a man is attached to tho vessel by a long and strong but light wire ropa The b'uoy is stocked with a small supply of pro visions, and is furnished with a potassium compound which upon contact with the water ignites and burns brilliantly for twenty min utes. If th drowning man, aided by the flame, succeeds in reaching the raft he can be dravn to tho vessel without the necessity of lowering boats. Should the rope break and his own vessel lose track of him. he has. with 'tho provisions, a chance of sustaining life until picked up by others. Frank Leslie's. 1 tjja.i insist upon you giving me some evi dence that he" did not." . Tho little man tried every way to satisfy the inspector that the coats were for his own uss ,Vut failing, drew forth one of the heavy Sa -lents and crawled into it It was like drawing salt bag over a crochet needle. J.liO little man bod disappeared. The top of bis hat and the toes of his shoes were ail that could be seen of him. "What's the lightest youTi let me off forf softly osketLSJ he little man. " TheaucoSjt was made out and he paid without a whimper. Two howling dudes were found one day . bonding over their traps looking about In a leering, contemptuous manner at the scenes the now world presented at the lauding of an ocean steamship. They were the cream of swelldom. When the inspector approached them and asked to have their trunks unlocked they seemed beset with astonishment. . "I beg pahdon, but what did you say, slrr queried one of them. "Open your trunks, I want to Inspect your baggage." At this the spokesman of the two threw a bench of keys upon the wharf and said: "Hopen the trunks yourself, fellow." "Lift the lids of those trunks In half a min ote or they go to tho appraiser's store," quietly remarked the inspector. "Gentlemen at ome don't do this kind of work. What blawsted customs you 'avo 'ere, to be sure, that requiab a gentleman to do a valet s labab." . lie opened hut trunks, however, taking this Vst lesson in democracy in the land of free . Uoa n. Boston Herald. Rnt Little Trouble. rtcv. Sir. Hirsute The very hairs of your bead are numbered. Air. Scantilocks. . ' ' Bcantilocks Well, it comforts me to . T ik bow little trouble I give tho recording ,gtl latterly. J adge. An African "Wake." According to news from the west const of Africa there have been come human sacri fices in consequence of the death of a son of tho king of Grand Jack. Selected victims wero obliged to drink "sas3 water," a poison ous liquor, and were then pitched into the surf on tho seashore. When the rollers dashed them ashore men, women and chil dren cutut them with knives until they were dead. The chief of tho tribe fl.es the British flag, and the captain of a trading vessel re monstrated with him in vain. London Standard. The Kill tor's InsoiunTa. Patient I wish you would prescribe for me, tioctor. 1 am nervous and restless and my sleep is disturbed by nightmares hideous enough for delirium tremens. Doctor Feasibly your heart is diseased. Do you lie on the right sidef Tatient Great Scott, doctorl I thought you knew that I am running an independent newspaper and have to lie on all sides. De troit Free I'n ss. nave nod wealth for generations who are leaders of society the very pinks of gentil ityregularly report their parties, of what ever nature, and are solicitous that the re ports be accurate. Generally they try to disguise their vanity In this regard, intimat ing that the newspapers somehow get hold of such things, and they cannot be pre vented. As a rule, however, nothing is said on the subject social advertising i3 taken for granted, the hosts and guests relishing it exceedingly. Nearly every daily has its society news. In which are recorded the feat ures of tho season. Reporters aro employed to look after such affairs, particularly fash ionable houses. But they have small trouble in discharging their duties, since thov re ceive great assistance from the hosts of the seasides. They aro received with marked kindness, though secretly; the names fur nished, with particulars of dress, and the like. In some Instances, the ladies who are most elaborately dressed actually write out descriptions of their toilets, and carry them " "" i uanuea to the representa tives of the press in order to save trouble. This sounds Improbable, but it is strictly true. Dinner parties of a swell sort are almost always mentioned, and often minutely de scribed, so that their givers are more inter ested in the way they will bo presented to the publio than In the pleasure given to their guests. Accounts of such parties are fre quently printed by the direct connivance of persons endeavoring to get into society. Dinner giving is considered a very desirable means to such an end. Two or three well known citizens are secured, and they are paraded with others who may be nobodies, but who are thought to be somebody from the company in which they figure. I know several rich men, indifferent to society, w ho uve marnea late m lire, or married a second time, and whose wives have been fired with an ambition that they had not Women generally feel anxious to shine socially, what ever may be the views of their husbands who are fairly driven by them to act a part that they disdain. It is curious to observe hard headed wholly occupied with money getting until 50 ar more, suddenly inducted into dress suits, put at the head of tables laden with crystal,' silver and flowers, and compelled to play host They would rather have a dinner of sorued beef and potatoes, washed down with beer or cider, than all the French dishes and fragrant wines which they present to their guests and assume to enjoy. Their wives at tempt to look used to the display, and aro on nettles lest their lieges commit somo unpar donable blunder. Poor fellows, they endure this connubio-social martyrdom with a forti tude worthy of a better cause. They swallow what they do not like, and try to hide their ignorance with an air that would be ludicrous If it were not pathetic, And they are re warded by reading the next day in the news papers of their sumptuous dinner party, and the distinguished ladies and crentlemen who attended. Alter a few seasons of such suc cess they will, it is hoped, be launched on the treacherous sea of fashionable society. Among the noted dinner givers are the As ters ithe late Mrs. John Jacob Astor, a most benevolent, noble hearted lady, relished this form of entertainment within limits), the ward McAllisters, the Delancy Kanes, tho William II Vanderbilts, the Elliot F. Shep ards. the Stewart Webbs, the Adrian Iselins, the August Belmonts, the George Henry Warrens, the Philip Schuylers, the Ruther furd Stuyvesants, Mrs. Marshall O. Roberts, the Will Jays, the Henry Clewses, the Will iam M Evartsea, the Cyrus W. Fields, the William E. Dodges, Jr., the Anson Phelps Stokes, the David W. Fields, the Whitelaw lieids, the William C Whitneys, the Robert Goelets, the Levi p. Mortons, the Pierrepont Morgans, tho Ogden Goelets, the Victor New combs, all of whom have the prime requisite Tor a fine dinner a big fortune, "Deuceaco" In Globe-Democrat, Itrutat I'oHcmieu lo Itnsxl.t. I shall never foit the first brutal ex hibltion of the kind I witnessed on Bus si an soil It wan on tho docks at Biiku. As the little Caspian steamer moved up to the wharf a swarm of ragged orters were seen struggling for position where they could pouneo 011 the passengers' bao gage Gaunt, hungry looking and clnd In rags, they seemed like tho very oil scour ing of the world Standing out in bold relief against them were a number of bur !.. ,.!-l'i.. ........ 1 It . ... ,.u.,ni,icu. iuo cnici uuty or the latter Kwmed to bo to abuse the former, which they did in a most unwarrantable manner. The bluccoats did artistic and fin ished tapping with tho locusts, like the uicmborsof the Broadway squad, but lliey struck the p.or. h.i!f starved wretches squarely in the face with clenched list and kicked tlieni iu tho stomachs The burly policemen seemed to take a-wanton prido in smashing the jxior ragged devils m tho faro and in kicking them in danger ous places with their heavy topboots As a picture of brute force unbridled, gloating over defenseless victims, it boats any Uiing I ever saw. It seems Incredible to an Anglo Saxon that human beings could ever be so Ihor oughly crushed and cowed ns to submit meekly to such inexcusable brutality as tho lower class Russians do One after anothei tho wretched victims of policy brutality would go limping away, lamed or doubled up by a kick, and fuces often streaming with blood. Our Russian p:-.s sengers paid 110 sort of attention to- tho scene, only in the breasts of two persons present, in till that crowd, was aroused any seutiment of pity or condemnation, so far ns could be Been on tho surfnm were rn ?---': til Vatlf . 'i'itolil:i..4 Oi oicveiw inciter. DON'T READ THIS I (iilcs you want to know where lo get J'argain in the Jit-8t "Cai-h BOOTS AND SHOES ! Iheso two exceptions war correspondent uud AVa arc now oil oring (Mil 1 1 rites in And the most wc pride ourselves on is our excellent line of Ladies' HancFTurned Shoes At their Present Low Prices. Ladies looking for Mich n Shoe phould not fail to call on BQECK V!ittUc of All Sorts. 1 he primary idea of a whistlo lies in the making of a column of air to vibrato. iu wuaiever condition. AS.mero is no lack of means or methods for doinn- this the infinite diversity of tho forms of tho apparatus tor producing tho vibrations and tho resultant sounds is a matter of course. The most general form u tho human whistle, which one can make sound after a fashion without much preliminary training; but many musicians naomauo themselves masters of its in tonations to such a degree that, instead or the usual inharmonious and unmethod ical uiscords, they can render with it the most uiiiicuit passages of elaborate mu sical notes. I shall not dwell upon tho means that may be employed to make tho sounus snarper and to modulate their tones, hvery one knows what effects are produced by inserting the fore and second fingers so as to turn the tongue slightly uach. as n;e column or air passes over it. or by sending the blast over tho outsido of tho bent lingers. If we seek other primitive whistles, we have them in tho hollow barreled ke the terror of authors and comedians; the fam ous willow whistlo, cut when tlio twig is most sappy; tne green uandelion stem. spin along its length; the nut shell be tween tho fingers; the cherry stone, which school boys grind down so patiently on me soies or tnesnoesand bore with aholo; the buckhom. and all the other things which we are fond of contriving, in our early youth, with which to split tho er.rs or our parents and teachers. M. L. Gu todo in Popular Science Monthly. tsrnouth Hera Ic Xs on joying a Boom in "both, its Advantages of Audible Iiuglitcr. Man is the only audible laughing nni mal in existence. Girls giggle, boys te-ho, women hah-ha. and men haw-haw. Those aro the spontaneous outbursts of jollity, and in trying to suppress it one cannot be accountable for the consequence. You have the faculty of carnraurucating to your blind friend the reciprocal pleasure of life, therefore you have advantage over the most intelligent of the brute creation. No dumb animal has tho faculty of ex pressing any emotion they may feel save the dog. who laughs with his tail as his long absent master returns; it seems as if he would never cease to wiggle-waggle his tail and nibble his master's beard from one ear to tho other; ho laughs with Lis tail, kisses, as it were, with his teeth, and caresses with his paws, seeming to be the exact converse of human nature Ee sure that heaven and all the cherubims are better pleased with inate goodness, rose ate with smiles, than a face as long as your arm and as solemn as the day of judgment. Give us a bright, smiling face, judicative of the effervescence of the within. It helps us to enjoy a passing hour of blissful happiness. A new deiigiit steals over tho heart, and we willinrdv yield to the fleeting, fanciful dream that all of earth is surest bliss. New York Press. DASILIT AID WEI EDITIONS. 1888 Will he one during which the subjects of national interest and importance will he strongly agitated and the election of a President will take place. Ihe people of Cass County who would like to learn of Political, Commercial and Social Transactions of this year and would keep apace the times should with A Disconsolate Wife. "I don't believe iu these secret societies," said one Austin lady to another. "That's very singular," replied the other; "jour husband is a Forester, a Knight ol Pythias, and a Knight of Honor, and you will have at least 10,000 when he dies. "But what good does all that do meV was ihe tearful response,-wben be never diesf and the poor creature burst Into tears. Texas Sif tings. . Knew Wit en to Stop. A New England man has beaten the green goods sawdust men at their own garnet lie got one of their circulars, and in reply asked for a sample of their goods: They sent bint a genuine $1 bill, and the gentleman stopped the correspondence then and there. .New York Sun. A Judge's Advice. Judge Hare, of Philadelphia, recently gave charged upon the appeal of the a - ueu you una yourself getti agaia, Gil your mosth with water it shut till you cool nT." Chicago "I bear young Fastleieh has been the town red since his uncle left quarter of a million." "Why, any paint the town red with a quart of ion." Life. there are In Engkind 847 female smiths who actually swing heavy and B, 133 women employed in nail rap was ais- bt-sed wife It angry I i keep 1ng 1 boi Id 1 "i bar. mak To Gaess the Speed of Trains. There is not one person In 100 of the mill ions who travel on railroads in the course- of a year who has any idea of the speed of a train. A large per cent, of even the regular trainmen of the country cannot tell with any degree of accuracy how fast a train is run ning. Frequently engineers ore dispatched on a trip over a line of railroad with instruc tions to run at a speed of a certain number of miles an hour. The engineers do not carry a speed Indicator, bat have learned by vari ous methods to gaugp their engines so as to mate omy ine slightest variation from their orders. The majority of engineers use their drlvin? wheel as a gauge. They know (ts circumfer ence, and by counting Its revolutions within m certain time can tell very accurately the speed at which they are running. Another method is to time the run between mile posts, and still another is to make calculations from the number of telegraph poles passed in a certain time. These poles, in a level country, and where four or five wires are used, are cpacea so mai tney ore thirty to the mile. If only a single wire hi used they are spaced from twenty-Sveto twenty-eight to the mile. The most accurate method, and the one most In use by experienced railroad men, is to count the number of rail joints the train passes over in twenty seconds. The rails In nearly all cases are thirty feet in length, and the number passed over in twenty seconds is the speed per hour a train la running. For instance. If a paaaBJiger sitting in a sleeper can count thirty clicks of Che wheels on n rail joint in twenty seconds the train is run ning at the speed of thirty miles an hour. Kansas City Times. - " Inheritance of Moral -Weakness. "There aro not too many people for the world to support," says Professor Summer; nor are there too many liable to bo born; but there are by far too mar.y of sorts that never ought to be bora. lie con ceives that all social questions drop into this one of improved population Mental and phj-sical feebleness, or inferiority, is at the bottom of our troubles; but tho professor must also Include moral weak ness, inherited like other evils, and aggra vated by personal habit. Is it improbable that some degree of control may l.o somo day established, over the multiplication of diseased personalities? Darwin dares to hint that tho same care that is exercised in breeding our domestic animals might in the future be applied to humanity. Is it necessary that "Margaret, the mother of criminals," bo allowed to populate the state with a breed so debased that in a few generations there are paupers, idiots, moral outcasts and beggars by tho hundred, aud hardly a savable person out of a scored It will not do, perhaps, at present to any more than suggest the question- Globe Democrat. TTliat It CeaUy Means. Did you ever think what it roaily means, to be a "tramp?" No homo, no friends, no work, no chance, nobody in all the wide world to care whether you live, o die In the gutters like a dog. Searpn tf?i nVaff3 t0i ln-hrifc- & decent grave to hide them out ot sight; no opportunity to bo anything, and no hand stretched out to glv the greeting or the good-by of love. Nobody to feel an interest in yon whether your bones ucha from cold ot your skin cracks with fever. No spot in all the world to call your own, not even the mud wherein your wandering foot step leaves its fleeting mark; no prospe-t ahead, and no unbroken link to bled yon to the past. A name like a curse to blight f-Iery J?0?6 of mallllood. and a reputation, use a ball and chain on your leg. to fciu- 1 !r,t,no way to ln' gtod accompTishmeut. 1 tell you. when we sit right down to it, and figure out what it really means to 1-.-3 a tramp, I guess we will not end it so easy to withhold a r piece of bread and a cup of coffee next time one calls at our door. "Amber" in Chicago Journal iSUS -FOR KITIIEU TI1K Daily ar Weekly Herald. Now while we have the people we will venture subject before the to 2)eak ot our Which is first-class in all - respeetg and from which our job printers are turning out much satisfactory work. PLA.TTSM0UTH, NEBRASKA. r" 1 " A