V The Plattsmoutb Herald. THK "nitoil western ilemocrat" can't curry his own t;)te in tlie rea son lie is not in it. Hoiks woul.l h1I nil tin- t'li vcliincl iiml Hill voles iiml curry New York.-Joiiiniil. He can do ull that and then not be elected. Jror.E Maynakd of New York lias been exonerated ly the neiiiite of that Htate, hut the peojile will never exonerate the reiiute. TllElioyd HhouterH of 1SW have finally discovered that the present governor of Nehraska is a democrat foroflice and revenue only. Tammany will go to the coiiych tion at Chicago 1,)0 strong ami every man will have a tomahawk for either Cleveland or Hill. M K. liLAM) is simply off his metal. -WatdiiuK'ton Pout. The metal is base, therefore Mr. Hland is off his base. If you don't believe it, (ink Harter. Fniu; coinage is said to have been badly "punished" already, but you can just wayer it will yet its "second wind" by the time the Chicago convention meets. AlX llie republicans who have been mentioned for the vice presi. dential candidacy say that the pres ent official is the riyht nun for this honor. Morton should be renomi nated. TllH greatest mystery of which the "oldest inhabitants" have knowledge is why any American citizen with just ordinary sense can be a freetrader, or what is exactly the same, a "tariff reformer." A Ct.KVUI.AM) organ referring to the Hill faction remarks: "Noartny was ever weakened by cutting the cowards out." That may be true, but this is a different case it is cutting the lighting inec. out. Cow ardice is not Hill's weak point. HANMONY still prevails in Un democratic party because the masses of that party do not know whether they are for free Bilver or against it, as Home states are coining out strong for silver while others are just as strongly opposed to it. This Grant Smelting company of Omaha has contracted for the erec tion of n chimney 8.T0 feet high. That will be the highest chimney in the United States; that of the Clark thread mills in New Jersey is .TO feet high. A chimney in Freiberg, Germany, is UK) feet high. Dliuoi KATS can still be supplied with "the poor man's dinner pail" and buttons for his shirt. Tin plate manufactories are springing up in dozens of cities, and in New Jersey where there were but two pearl button manufactories at the time of passing the McKinley bill, thcreare now just twenty-one. Democrats can button up ami be hopeful. Mk IKVINK l)l':..,adenuicratie eougressuian from Ohio, thus sizes up the present congress: "I am be coming convinced that this is a cow ardly congress. It is becoming very tiresome to inc. It ought to get up and do what the people expect it to do, and not be afraid of its shadow." Hut think for a moment, ns you turn your eyes to the past, what a dread ful shadow that is. Ik Iiilliam Silver Hryan wants to remain in office he had better de cline a congressional nomination uid play for the governorship. Truly he has much show of an elec tion to that oflice, but he has no show on earth as a congressional candidate. His eloquent sophis tries about tin, nails and wool is burnt powder. This tip is given the young man in friendship. Tilts Southern states are having discouragiugly hard times. While thousands upon thousands of home seekers are camping on the borders of Oklah una, or bracing against the cold iu Dakota, the millions of fertile acres of the south, with its "glorious climate" thrown in, go begging for occupants. Why is it? The men interested iu southern prosperity should find out. There are millions in it. Goveknok McKinley of Ohio and Judge Thurston of Nebraska are to be the orators it the Grant banquet in Pittsburg April 27. Mc Kinley will respond to the toast "General Grat," and Judge Thurs ton will speak for "The Republican Party." The Pittsburg republicans have secured somewhat of a monopoly on the eloquent men of the party. McKinley and Thurston stand in the front rank as orators. Chicago Inter Ocean. AN INTEHESTING DECISION. The supn me court of IVnnsyl vi.iia has just decided a very inter esting case in that Hate. The fol lowing are the facts as near as can be gotten from the reports: A number of s doonkeepers in Philadelphia who wen denied licenses sought to evade the law by organizing so-eall"d clubs, because the legislature in framing the law did not see the necessity foriuaking provisions for liquors sold in social clubs. One of the cases was carried to the supretnecourt, and a decision against the defendant was sus tained. Hut in si staining this de cision against a violator of the law court explicitly stated that the opin ion did not apply to all clubs, as the Law ami Order Society sought to have it. The defendant was a saloonkeeper who had been denied a license on the ground that he was not a proper charactor. He had evaded the law; by organizing a club of which any out' might become a member by , paying a ridiculously small fee. His "club" was a room about six feet square, and was in reality nothing more than an unlicensed saloon. ! The Law and Order Suj-iely, in iheir enthusiasm for the temper ance cause, sought to have all clubs ruled a j linst in the same way, re gardirigthem as unlicensed saloons, but the snorcine court considered that it had only this one case before it. There are a number of social clubs of high stamltng in Philadel phia as in every other larje city. Their stewards keep wines ami liquors for the members, and they have no licenses. The law iu no way applies to them. It was enacted to deal with the saloon where liquor is sold to the public. The steward of the reputable club does not sell to the public. He keeps his liquors for the members only. No one not a member can buy from him. He has no pecuniary interest in the sale, lie is only a servant of the club and answers the call of his employers. THE NEW YORK COMPLICATIONS. Apparently the situation in the state of New York is growing worse for the democrats every day. The local elections which were held in March in scorces of cities and vil lages in the state revealed heavy re publican gains in every locality. Hither the democrats were openly divided into factions or there was a secret but none the less effective de fection iu the party ranks. The re cent contests in Albany and Cohoes show that the internecine strife is being waged even morejvigorously than before. In Albany the normal democratic majority was largely re duced, and iu Cohores the republi cans were victorious. There was nn open and virulent contest between the Hill and Cleveland men in the latter town, and the chances of eith er faction to win was rendered hope less from the start. Kach of these sections fought the other much harder than did the republicans. Kach undoubtedly preferred n re publican victory to the success of the other clan. Intimidation and fraud were resorted to by both fac tions, anil the whole election was disorderly and disgraceful in the extreme. Hy this time surely the national democracy ought to see the peril which the selection of a New York man for head of the presidental ticket involves. Neither Cleveland nor Hill, as the standard-bearer of the party, could have the shadow of a chance of carrying that state, and every other democrat in the state who is big enough to be suggested as a nomination possibility is suf licently identified with one or other of the factions to be handicapped as a candidate. Probably Cleveland will be nominated iu any event. No other man is mentioned ut nil now in connection with the candi dacy. Taki-ig the country as a whole he is perhaps the strongest man in his party. Outside of his own state he can undoubtedly poll more votes than any other democrat. Iu his state, however, it can readily be seen that he is fatally weak. Neither he or any other prominent New Yorker could secure the elector al vote of New York this year. The local elections in that state in the past few weeks make this fact plain enough to be discerned by the aver age understanding. Democrats in the west and south see it with toler able clearness, yet they are also aware that perverse destiny compels their party to choose a candidate who can, in no exigency nt all con ceivnble at this time carry the state whice sensible men everywhere per ceive to be essential to their party's success. Globe Democrat Fkank Mokgan is an enthusiastic Hryan man. He can swallow the tin and wool eloquence of the magnetic young man, but he don't go that unlimited silver proposition nt all. Morgan is a level-headed business man too much so in fact, to be training witn the democratic party upon any question. The democratic party is anti-business. A DEMOCPA'IC DIALOCUE. Said Cleveland unto Milt, 'Thus un aw fill tiitter il! WliUli you ijuve ine wlit-n you ot those delegate. Knt really it lielned rue Ami the stunning lilow yon dealt me May uive me many other states. Said David in'o ( Iiover, When 1 io: i' to .lin). i' over It's tike y i ha' I made a sail mistake, lint when a niiiriV ainhitioiis lie's apt to he n i iri ms That nt her fn! s ar - also on t he "make." Saiil rover tinlo I lave, I hope you will hrhave, And never make un ither ni;!y 'Vuiii." I know it's small and i uiini-.in, Hut t lie way the tiling is running; I'm afraid we'll lintli lie in the "sini." Said Havid unlo (irover, Yuu ran study "Im Is" anil "t rover" If you're heateu in the president ial rate; While I, poor David lleunelt, Will he liuried in the senale, Ashamed, almost, to show my face. -Alhany rivi'iiiiitf Journal. Till-; tariff ami the silver question are the tvo important issues in n,,. coming campaign, and it will nut do to ignore either the one or the other. Itulh are vital. Itolh alfeet the interests of every voter. The positions of the parties should lie understood. '1 he republican party is fur protecting every American in dustry, beause protection diversities industries, provides labor for all, in sures good wages to the working- man and artisans, jiml good prices at home to the producer of food. The democratic parly is for free trade, which would result in low wages and bring high juices for manufactured articles so soon as the American factories were driven out of existence, whilst low prices for food products would be the inevit able result when all were forced to become food producers. As to sil ver, the republican paity is for hon est money and enough of it to trans act the business of the country. It provided iu the last congress for the consumption each year of oiJMHm ounces of American silver, putting in circulation legal tender dollars sufficient to purchase that amount of silver bullion. The entire pro duct of American silver is (jO.Otlo.OUO ounces, and fully 10 per cent of that is used in the arts and manufac tures, so that through republican legislation every available ounce of Aniericnn silver is turned into legal tender dollars and added to the cir culation iu a much better form than if the metal itself was coined. The majority of the democrats in this house voted for a bill which, if it could become a law, meant a silver standard and a silver currency, either of which would be disastrous to the country. Gknekal Palmer of Illinois is another of those screechers for "tariff reform," and says now he left the republican party because of its tariff policy. Twenty years ago it was when John M. Palmer left the republican party and in a public speech at Decatur, Illinois, he said he left it because he could not stand General Grant's administra tion and that Sheridan was sent to Chicago with troops. Speaking then of the tariff he advocated the idea expressed by the lamented Hancock in ISSO-that the tariff was a local issue. Palmer said then: "The tariff question should be set tled by the congressional distiicts as a non-partisan question." The veteran office-seeker's memory was probably fresher iu '72 than in '02 as to the reasons which induced him to leave the republican for the dem ocratic party. Axy sensible man ought to see through the democratic game of trickery and cowardice on the tariff, silver and all other vital issues. In one continuous chorus, publicly and privately, the majority howls for "nothing to be done until after the presidential election." They want to be in a position to promise anything to anybody, be all things to all men and make another calam ity campaign, hoping to catch enough suckers to run out on. Its no go, gentlemen. The scales have fallen from the people's eyes and parrot-like inouthings will not make democratic votes this year. The wars in Wyoming and Omaha are raging with unabated fury. The cattlemen and the Martin men are getting the worst of it so far and they are the two sides that ought to win. They can be cheered with the consoling reflection of the poet to the effect that Truth smeared around over the ground will eventually get up again and give it to Krroi right in the neck, causing said Krror to die among his worshippers. Fre mont Tribune. THE ETIQUETTE OF THE TABLE As a people, we Americans have been laughed nt for eating too fast and we are credited as being a nu tion of dyspeptics, writes Ruth Ash. more in her interesting department aiue laiits with Girls in the May Ladies' Home Journal. Now, of course, thisjis generalizing, but you, the elde-d daughter, have it in your power to make the hour at the din ner or tea-table one of real delight. It is an easy matter, you will find, to start some pleasant topic; to get your father and brother interested in the talk of the day, so that you, all will eat your food more slowly, and you will achieve what the Frenchmen consider the great art you will dine, not merely feed your self. Hut there area few Iittleques tious about die etiquette of the table 1 that some girl wants to know, and these 1 am going to tell her. She must hold her knife by its handle. j and never let her lingers reach up j to its blade. Whenever it is pos sible, a fork must be used in place of a snoon, and that same spoon, by the bv. must never lie left in a coffee ! - - or tea cup, but laid to rest politely and securely in the saucer. Glasses with handles are held by them. A goblet should be caught by the stem, the lingers not ei. twining the bowl part. Don't butter a large piece of bread and take bites from it; instead, break your bread in small pieces, one at a time, and but ter it, that is, if you are eating but ter, and convey it to your mouth by your lingers. Olives, celery, rad ishes, strawberries with stems, and asparagus are all eaten from the lingers. The old method of eating cheese with a knife has been given up, a fork being used in its place. The uses of ninny small dishes for vegetables is not in good taste; in deed, many vegetables should not be served at one time. HOW IT WORKS. What have reciprocity and the new protective tariff already done for the fanner of the Tinted States? This in part: Reciprocity has caused Cuba to import S:t,(it:) bags of (lour fron America during the first two months of IS! 12. Duritigthe first two months of ISiil it imported only 5,7.")S bags of American Hour. Hut during the first two mouths of lS'Jl, in which Cuba imported only 5,7."W bags of flour from the United States, it imported ati,2."i bags of flour irom Kurope. There was no reciprocity then, and while we were buying about three-fourths of the yearly sugar crop of Cuba, it was buying very little flour from us and a great deal from England. Things changed wonderfully un der the reciprocity clauses of the McKinley bill, for, as we have seen, the UnitedjStates exports of flour to Cuba rose during two months from 3,7."W bags to 8:i,G43 bags, and during the same period of time the Euro pean exports of flour fell from jGwM bags to Kit) bags. Hut while the quantity of farm ex ports has increased greatly since the passage of the McKinley bill, the value of imports of animals and things grown or raised by fanners decreased by lvMU'.Kl during the year ISiil, as compared with 1S!K). If these conditions are not dis tinctly beneficial to the American farmer what conceivable conditions could be beneficial to him? WARNING OF A DEMOCRATIC PAPER. The New York Sun takes three defeats which the democratic party has suffered and preaches a homily to its fellow denioci ats as fo'lows: "In 1SSS the democratic party went crazy for tariff reform, and trotted into the mud behind the ele phantine economist of the mug wutnps. lacking No. 1, "in is'.u the Oho democrats. sticking to the same old tariff re- torni as propounded by the same old corpulent Cobden, became un protected mats for Major William McKinley, Jr., and the republican party to wipe their feet on. Kick-ng nO. S, "In IS! .2 the Rhode Island demo crats took up the sameold howl and ngut tor the same old tariff reform, and the same old sarcotic dervish. Licking No. 8." Hut what is the democratic party to do? What can it do? The tariff is the only issue it dares to talk about "until after the presidential election" and even on the tariff the old party is sacred enough, heaven and Roger (J. Mills of Texas know. As a friend and acquaintance of the "new allies of the northwest," the Register suggests that the de mocracy abondon every consider,-! tion except to get back into the offices. On that kind of a platform, with It. H. Hill, they might carry the south. Des Moines Register. BIG THING ON ICE. The News stands by Kditor Mil ton D. Polk, which pleases TliK llEWALD. This is as it ought to be; that is, Fxli tor Milton D. Polk uses the News to give himself character; in other words, Milton D. Polk, as editor of the News, says Milton is a clean, able newspaper and business man and that The Herald is green with envy because it hasn't got this paragon of honesty on its hands. The News is hypnotized by its "attache" and there is but one rem edy: We will have to turn our poet loose on that concern to dispel the charm. Of course, we are dead gone because we haven't got the moral influence and business char acter of the ''.other" editor of the News. Our bankers, our lawyers, our courts, our merchants, our business men, all want him, all need him, but the News has a monopoly on him it has got him bad. "Alas, poor Yonck!" that is us. A NEW TALE OF WOE A nice little hooni in I'lattsiuouth urew. Listen to my tale of Woe, A little Iiooiii with u radiant line, All cut nnil dried und stuck with glue, It jjrew, it jjrew, Listen to my tale of woe. One day the machinery worked It through, Listen to my tale of woe. That liltlehoninappeared in view Of k o i f i i i t hoys, ami hoodie rs too, 'Tis true, 'tis true, Listen to my tale of woe. Now that little Imiiiiii was most to "few." Listen to my tale of woe. For Attache llurtoii and Millie too, Soattaeheclaiineil it through and through 'Too true, 'too true, Listen to my tale of woe. He took thishooni and worked likeajew, Listen to my tale of woe, To make It row as big as two, And then his troubles Iu'kuii to brew, Hoo hoo, boo, boo, Listen to my tale of woe. He went to (linaha iu a terrible stew, Listen te my tale of woe. And talked his boom for all he knew. Hut down he went ami he felt so blue. So blue, so blue; Listen to my tale of woe. And down with it went the knifing crew, Listen to my tale of woe. The citizens planted it out of view. A nil al t ache's inWsiou on eart h is i hroiinh I loo In hi ! boo lino ! Listen to ni- tale of w oe. List of Letters Remaining unclaimed in the post office at l'lattsnmuth: Anthony. Mrs. Mary Molitor, l-'red Hikker. Arthur W. Mitchel. Iv V C'leary, Win. Ma-on, Llsie Cole, Mrs HattieA Spear, J. W II ill, J II l ousy, J V Ilintou, Wm Tolin.Jas W Johncon, I' K W lies, Mabel McOlouTcn, Ard Vood.;Sam'l Wooding, Miss Mary. Persons calling for any of the above will please ask for "adver tised" letters. II. J.STKLTGHT, P. M. The sparring contest Jwhich was advertised for Turner's hall Monday night, has been changed to Wednes day night, April 27, and willjjjtake place at the Waterman opera house. If you want to see fun don't miss it. It will be just as advertised. Ad mission 2a cents. Manager Patterson has the base ball team out on the grounds put ting them through a course of sprouts this afternoon. Subscribe for The Plattsmouth Daily Herald at 15 cents a week. JOHN A DAVIKS, ATTORNEY AT LAW Corresdondence Solicited. Office in Union Hlook PLATTSMOl'TH, - - NeHKASKA D rs. 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PILES, FISTULA AND RECTAL ULCERS tmariuiteed cured without pain or detention from Imsinaits. HYDROCELE AND VARICOCELE perma UciiUy anil suucesofully eured in every ciine. HYl'HILIS, (JONOKKHtKA, fil-KET, Hoernia torrhieil. Seminal Weakness, Lost Manhood, Nitfht Kmiwinns, Decayed Fncnltieo, Keinnln Weakness ami all delicate disorder tieenliiir to either sex positively cured, as well as all func tional disorders tlist result from youthful follies' or the excess of mature years. OIkiaImsa (inarnntoed permanently cured. Oil 1UIUI O removal complete, wit hunt cnt tirnr, caustic or dilatation. Cure effected at home oy pntient without a moments pain of annoyance. TO YOUNG AND MIDDLE-AGED MEN ACiira Pnra The awful effects, of earl; 3UI 0 bill C vice which brinits organic weakness, destroy in both mind and body, with all its dreaded Hit, permanently cured. fllC RottC Address those who have impar. Ul 0 OvlH el themselves by improper in dulgence and solitary habits, which rnin both mind and body, unfitting them for business, etndy or marriage. MARRIED MEN, or those entering on that happy life, aware of physical debility, qnickly assisted. tySeTKl 8 cent rxntwe for eelebratad works on Chronic, Nervous and Delicate Diseases. Thousands cured. wA friendly letter or call may save you future suffering and shame, aiuj aitd goldsn years to life. ITNo letter answered nnlesa accompanied by 4 eenU in stamps. Address, cr call on DRS.BETTS & B ETTS, -1409 Douglas St., OMAHA, - - NEBRASKA. f THOS POLLOCK R V HTIRS vUix InliUe ft ihinnii r Soliotto R- al rsta- Loan and Insurance Agei- If vi'-i inive real estate to sell or t exchange r-end usdescription, price und tern;.-. Ali.siiiietM of title furnished at reas onable rates. $100,K) to loan at 7U percent aad no couimis.-ions, on j-ood farm security. POLLOCK & IIYKRS Plattsmouth . Xpj, Office under ';im County Hunk, UICKENWOOI), NEB. 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