Saturday morning courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1893-1894, August 26, 1893, Image 5
THE SATURDAY MRNII0 OOURIKH V M-4' ' ' ,&' 1MB 'Joseph Znltmmnh," liy Edward KIhk, presents Ronio vivid pictured of tlio dark uldoof iifo in Now York City. Tlio "sweating" pyRlom us treated by tlio graphic pen of thin writer, nppcnrn to Ira n terrible lnntitutlon, but Mr. KIiik timkoH it no mnro terrible tliiin it really Jb. And the awful mlnory and despora tlon of tlio uuoniployed! These nro not overdrawn in tlio HtlrrlnK chapters ot "Joseph Zulinonuh." Only hint week a New York paper contained an account of thedifitroHtt anions tlio Hebrew cloak inakero that reads like a chapter out of Mr. King's book. Tlio following Ih an extract frorti a re)ort of a meeting of the unemployed held a few ilujH ago: "Talk about tho Hebrew riots," con tinned tlio speaker. "Tho congressmen who inako tho laws would inako more bloody riotH if tlioy had no work and no money. What him Huron Hirsch done for us?" "Nothing! Nothing!" said tho audi enco. "Ho has given somomilliousof dollars, and and nobod) knows who has it. Wo haven't. Tho American law punishes us if wo commit suicide, but it lots us fltarvo to death. You can starve accord ing to law. If you tako a loaf out of a fltoro you aro a thief." "A thief! a thief!" shouted tho audi ence. Hero attention was drawn to Kniuiu Goldman. Sho appeared to bo able to breatho tho frightful atmosphere in comfort, and looked quite cool. "If you aro hungry go and get bread," eho said. "Tako it it no one will give it to you. Join tho demonstration of the unemployed, under the black flag." Sho paused a moment, and then fihrlokcd: "Tho black ilag. I sny! Lot thut bo your banner in tlio hunger parade." Joseph Zalmonah is a leader of his people, who tries peaceful methods for obtaining relief, while most of those around him are inciting to anaicliy. Around tho sombre llguro of tho self sacrificing labor-leader aro grouped many interesting ones David, the purveyor of historical plays, lien Zion, tho old und humorous little peddler, who fancies himself also a leader of people, Mordccal, tho singer of popular ballads and tho oot of tho people, Freier, tho typical oppressor, Munassch, the old orthodox Jew who has come too lato to a world too now; and others of less Im portance will all fix tho reader's attcn. tion and stand for representative types. Loo & Shopard. Nathan Haskoll Dole departs u long way from tho conventional lines of novel writers in his latest book, "Not Angels Quito." His plot is simple enough, tho untangling of a pair of engaged couples and u readjustment oil a basis of natural fitness, but the treatment is decidedly novel and clover. Tho charac ters stand forth like silhouettes, so dis tinctly aro thoy drawn, and tho scenes aro "impressionist" pictures. Aside from tho interest of tlio story, the reader will bo entertained by tho glimpses of tho social institutions and lads pf Boston. Tlio city is sorved up Jn every wuy rousted, broiled, uud Jiashed-on-toust. Tho scenery throughout is beauti fully dono. A yacht cruiso on the coast -of Maino, with which tho action closes, is a picturesque poem. A numbor of original poems aro scattered through tho book, a largesso quito unusual with novelists. It is a wholly modern book tin do .sicclo in method and stylo, and will in terest tho younger iconoclasts who aro tired of tho old models. Leo & Shop jird. Mrs. Sanborn whoso first novel "Sweot :and Twenty" produced so favorable an impression has written u now one entitled "Paula Ferris" in which is shown a decided step in advance. Tho writing tshows mastery of English, as well as (broadening tho mind, accumulated ex perience. Tho reader at onco feols .confidence in his guidoand follows tho tory without question. Tho heroine is (naturally) a flno wo man but with a foible;and having allowed Jicrself to bo admired, is dangerously near falling. With tho shifting of tlio wono to a northern region, and tho .coming in of a gruir ami powerful male cousin, tho tomperaturo falls, serenity returns, and penco with honor roigns. It is a charming book to read at tho .mi-shorc, or in a hammock, or under a .shading tiee in. in tlio country. Leo & 'Shepaul, boston. "A Singer Fiom tho Sea," will bo .found to bo quite in tho usual stylo of Amelia E. Ihirr. This uuthor has many .genuine admirois. Sho appeals, it may 1)0 truo, to u certain class, but then, what author does not? Ilor stories .abound in action, and while thoro aro plenty of people in her books who aro not insipidly good, tho general tendency .is wholesome. "Denus, tho daughter of un humble Cornish fisherman, (a wooed und -won by u rollicking, roekless, no'or-do-well, Roland Trcshum, who marries her because ho thinks her voice will furnish him.nni)com(i,Tho runuway mnrriago Js followed by much distress; tho bus JjuiuI finally deserts hlswifo and child, who nro brought to death's door Indeed tho llttlo one enters in; Holnitd seen tho misery ho has caused and tiles In a delirium; tho wlforoturus to her parents and eventually rewards n patient lover who has waited for her for years. There in n pathetic element running through tho book. Dodd, Mead A, Co.; for sale by II. W. llrown. Tho latest addition to Dodd, Mead & Co.'s "Makers of America" series is a lifo of Thomas JefTerson by James Schouler, author of "History of the United States Under tho Constitution." Tho career of tho great Virginian is sketched with grcut lldelity, and withal in a manner that is distinctly attractive. JefTerson as a farmer, as a lawyer, as a statesman, is depicted with cleverness and precision. There is an occasional side light on contemjiorury Virginia lifo -a period fruitful in great characters, and an intelligent summing up of coinci dent events. Mr. Sehouler's sketch of JelTcrson Is a valuable contribution to a most important series. For sale by W. 11. Drown. "Phlneas Finn," by Anthony Trollopo, Is a thoroughly enjoyable novel. Phlneas Is a young Irishman who enters parlia ment and In a few yearB becomes under secretary and approaches very near to real gieutness, only to abandon his politi cal career before ho is barely in his thirties to settle down in Ireland as In spector of poor houses, because ho ro. fuses to surrender his convictions, and because ho has married Mary Jones, who is a dear, good llttlo girl, but who 1b not at all suited to associate with dukes and duchesses, prime ministers and lords mid ladles, as lib has been in tho habit of doing. Phineas is very real, with his good impulses and his weaknesses. Ho is a hero who Is not all nobility, like so many heroes. Ho does a number of fooli h things. Ho falls in love alto gether too frequently. To bo sure ho goes back in the end to Mary Jones, his tTrst and humblest love, but only after ho has laid vain siege to tho daughter of an earl and to u beautiful heiress. Tho glimpses of English political and social lifo are interesting; tho characters aro deftly drawn, and Mr. Trollopo'B style, which perhaps now and then too closely approaches the vernacular, is in tlio whole pleasing. "Phlneas Finn" is pub lished in three pretty llttlo volumes by Dodd, Mead & Co.; for sale by H. W. llrown. Will tho Elsio books ever como to an end? Their publishers, Messrs. Dodd, Mead & Company, adviso us that it is not probable so long as tho juvenile public clamor loudly for a now volume. Each year, as tho time for its appear anco approaches, a host of inquiries rush upon them from tho author. The new volume this season tho nine teenth in tho seriesis called Elsie at Ion. AT LINCOLN PARK. Fill!) I'l-IIKWItH III lll( Sl'IIHOII Of .SlIIIIIIMT Opera Thin YVVck'H frogi'iuil. "Tlio Chimes of Normnnd)" alfordod special opportunities for tlio dlxplay of thocapabllltioit of tlio Ideal Opera company, ami thUopora was iilven a very entertaining presentation tills week, ono that was cujojed by laro audience. Mlsslililnohnrilt and Miss Moorouoro particu larly effective In their parts and Mr. Davins ami othors dlstliiKulshcd themselves for their Hhur lim and comedy work. TonUht, "xho Pirates of Pcnzanco" will ho kIvoii its first presentation, and this popular opera will bo tho bill all next week. Thoro will bo two performances tomor row afternoon and ovciiIiir, preceded In both instances by a concert by tho full Nobraskn Stato Hand. Tho engagement of tho opora com pany is drawing to a closo, thoro will not bo many more opportunities to onjoy summer opora at tho park this season. Thin or gray hair and bald heads, so displeasing to many people as marks of ago, may bo averted for u long timo by using Hall's Hair Ronower. MolllKNoutll. Convenient markets, good soil, pure water und excellent climate uro advan tages to bo considered when looking up a homo, business location, farm, etc. Maryland and tho Virginias afTord these, with many more advantages. Improved farm lands, adapted to stock raising, dairying, grain, grass and fruit growing, can bo obtained at low prices and upon easy terms. Thriving towns invito tlio morchant, mechanic and business man. Abundanco of coal, timber, oro, water power, etc. Frco sites for manu facturers. For further information, address M. V. Richards, Land and Immigration Agent n. fc O. R. It., llultiinore, Md. Novor order an Invitation until you juvo seen tho samples of the work dono by tho now Courier Publishing Co. Canon City coal at tho Wbitobroust Coal and Lime Co. I leaf limit Cannot in, Cured By locul applications, ob thoy cannot reach tho diseased portion of the ear. Thoro is only ono way to euro deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed con dition of tho Eustncliin tubes. When these tubes got inflamed you havo a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed deafness, and unless tho inflammation can bo taken out and this tube restored to its normal condition, hearing will be do. stroyed forever; nine cases out of ten aro caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an inflamed condition of tho mucous surfaces. ' Wo will givo $100 for any caso of deaf ness (caused by catarrh) that cannot bo curod by Hall's Catarrh Curo. Send for clrouluit, 'ne. -' F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. HTSold by druggists, 75c. ALL A MISTAKE. VI. QUAD WASN'T EXACTLY BUNKOED IN CHICAQO. It Is A I way a Very lUd Thing la II Mt Judijml, and Quart Feel Very Much Fain d and Humiliated The Facts In tho Cine. Copyright, I NO, by Charles II. lowls. I Iiavo been considerably pained ntul hu miliated ever tlio fact that nu Item In going the rounds of thoprenn to the elTecttlmt I was bunkoed out uf f300 nt the World's fair. Some of tho editor extend their heartfelt nympathlc; others adviso mo to pply to the courtH for n gunrtllnn. Hail It boon nn item charging mo with ahecp stealing, blgntny, anion or jail breaking I should have laid back on my dignity ntul novcr let on that I wan worried.. As It Is I feel Mint it Is duo my character to make nn explanation. I wm taking a Atroll on tho Midway plalxnnce when n stronger tapped m on tho shoulder and joyfully exclaimed: "Hollo, old muni but who'd have thought of meeting you here!" Wo shook bund. I didn't exactly re member whether bin name wax Jonca or Drown, or whether I hud met him at the Sulllvnn-Corbett prle fight or at the open Ingof nnow cemetery up the lluilxon. 1 nm no hand to go Into nil these llttlo de tails. "How nro nil tho boys on Newspnper rowf " he nuked us. ho offered mo a cigar. "All well and content," 1 replied as I bit tho end on". "And my friend tho mayor?" "Tolerably fnlr, 1 believe." "And the boys down In Wall street keep llUHV, I scof " "Yes." "Well, old mnn, I'm nhrnp glad I met you. Just does my eyes good to look at n mnn from New Yorkl Remember our llt tlo trip to Long Island hut Hummcrf " "I do." I humbly acknowledge thut 1 didn't re member anything of tho kind, but I didn't want to hurt tho man's feelings, "And our excursion to Long HrunchJ" "Yes." 1 humbly acknowledge ngnln that 1 prevaricated, but what was I to ilof You can't hurt a mnn more Minn to forget you went on nn excursion with him. "lly Gcorgel but thin Is lucky," ho feel ingly exclaimed as ho patted mo on the shoulder. "You've got a family lllble In tho house, of course?" lIycs.'' "Hut you've no objection ton new one something in Turkey morocco gilt-edged 2,000 Illustrations-worth 35r" "No." "Then come with me. Big publishing house down hero failed the other day, uud I bought 100 Ulblex for n song. Have given away all but five to my, friends. Justn llt tlo token of remembrance, you know something to keep my memory green." Could I suspect such a mnn an Mint of having evil designs? Had I tho slightest reason for taking him for a bunko manf It's all right enough to say I ought to havo known better than to go with him, but put yourself in my place. Docs It seem possible that a bad man would want to present you with n gilt edged Bible worth fci"f Wo wnlkcd side by side for a good ninny squares and Anally turned into n doorway nud ascended n (light of stairs and entered n small room. There were five Bibles piled up on a counter Just such Bibles as my friend had described. He or dered n narrow minded young mnn to put ono of them hi n box nnd nddress it to mo, charges prepaid. I was expressing my thanks in n broken voice when a sad faced young mnn called our attention to the fact that lio was nn agent for a Cubnn lottery, nud that ho would bo rejoiced to see us hit tho corporation for about (30,000. I thought It real kind of lilm to express himself in Mint wny, nnd I frankly told him so. That seemed to please him, nnd after that. I think ho leave mo his full confidence. The dear friend who had brought me to the Bible house didn't seem to take any in terest In hitting ttO.OOO. in that lottery Mint is, ho didn't for tho first few minutes. It was only after tho sud faced young man bad explained bow much good we could ac complish in the nnme of charity with such a sum of money Mint he threw oil hi mantle of Indifference nnd took mo nslde for a private talk. Ho said wo hud struck a soft snap and that It would be almost criminal on our part not to take advan tage of It. His half of what wo struck would bo turned over ton Chicago hospltnl, while I might do as I liked with mine, though I would probably remember the orphans of New York in a liberal manner. I believe wo bought $100 worth of tickets. I think tho Idea was to hit nil the prizes In tho lottery nt once and bankrupt the whole Island of Cuba. Then we put up SJ50 apiece to prove to the sud faced young mnn thut wo were financially responsible for some thing or other. My friend seemed to know Just what to do, nnd I let him mnuage the business. There was a drawing. It was a drawing without any great amount of cere mony connected with it. We didn't hit anything. The inanuger was wirry for us nnd suggested another trial. We somehow missed It ngnln by a liulrhrouilth, and we tried It again. We came within Just one HE TOOK ME ASIDE KOII A 1'IIIVATK TALK. figure of hitting 7ft,000. Our money was now all gone, and so we went out and walked up and down in the gtad sunshine nnd spoke to each other only at long inter vals. When we finally parted, my friend acted chilly and distant nnd left me abrupt ly. I haven't the least doubt that he had thought it all over nnd concluded I was a bunko steerer. I don't want any sympathy, I won't ad mit that I was bunkoed. I simply met a generous man who took mo for an old friend of his and wanted to make me n present. True, tho Bible hasn't reached mo jet, but there might havo been a mis mke In the address, or tho express car itlght have been held up. He didn't want to go Into the lottery enterprise. When I Silnk of how I encouraged him and real 're that my nth'ihum lust him faoo In hard cosh my const tuned cries out that 1 am A vllUln. if we ever meet ngnln, 1 couldn't blamo him If he refused to recog Ue mo. THE ARIZONA KICKER. Kdltnr Kiptnln Thai thn Vn?a ol Civilisation U ItotlhiK On. SALT III 7GH Jon. The other day there earns rldlngup to Tun Kickkii oftlcu nu nm clent looking reptllo who cnllcd for tho edi tor and nuununced himself ns 8nlt Illver Joe, Joseph was mounted on n otio eyed, bobtnllcd cnyuwi of tho drift period, nud Joseph himself had ha'r two fret long nnd buckskin sultof thollnvur of oOyearsago. "What's nil this yere nboutf" nsked Joe as wo stepped out, "What yerer" "Why this yero prlntln of n nooscpnper round yero nnd upsotttu society m..l chnngln things overl Bum my hide if I didn't see n mnn Imok yero u-slttlu down to drlnkl And gouge my even If folks hnlu't wcnrln reg'lar clothes nnd drlnkln tlmr llckcr out o' glasses. And you kin call my olocayuso n kyotolf I hain't seen wlmlti folks around reg'lur wlmln with dress on to 'cm I" We started to explain Mint tho wave of clvtllintlou wns rolllngoii, but Joseph can tered his old cayusortoout In a circle nnd yelled! "Waughl It's got to stop! You've skeert all tho b'nrs nud wolves nwny nud party nigh ruined the kentryl I've rid up from Snlt river to purtesl In the interests of suf fer In humanity. I now purcccd to pup test!" Wo began to explain that the wave of civilization could not bo stopped, when ho jumped his critter over our hitching rack and yolledt "Waughl Whoop! No moro bufller, b'nrs, wolves or Injuns on tho warpath! What's golu to become of olo Artoner" "She's going to fall Into Hue and have her h'ur cut and wear white shirts." "And what's go In to become of mo nud my olepurdr" "You'll havo to como in out of tho wet." Ho dug in tho spurs and madu his cayuse buck and cavort for a minute, and then yelled: "Waughl Neverl Stranger, 1 purtest solemnly purtestl I've rid over 100 miles tonsk yu to stop fussln and foolln and let this yero kentry remain as the Lord made It. Your dratted olo uooscpnpcr has made grl. riles skusser than gold. It has ilrlv the' huffier to other pastures and the wolf to his hole. It has madu tho Injun behave hlsself, and I Imln't seen a real bad man fur n y'ar. Ar' you goln to keep right on till I hev to cat butter on my bread and put reg'lar milk In my coffee nud drink, my whisky onto' otio o' them befnugled glass dishes? Stranger, ur' tho tlmo u-comlu when I've got to peel oft this olo buckskin, when some blnmed varmint will laugh at my h'ur, when I may git Into a place whnr I've got to take my hat off to cat and can't usu my fingers nor drink out o' tlio coffee pot?" "That's what she's comln to, Joseph, nud it isn't so fur away neither." And with Mint ho uttered a whoop, rode his critter up tho steps nnd through TllK KtCKEK ofTIco und out nt tho back door, and tho Inst wo saw of him he wns making for the hills with tears in his eyes and his long locks wavlug in tho breeze, Apolooetical. Thoedltorof The Kick KR (who la ourself), tho mayor of this town (who is ourself) nnd the territorial council representative from this district (who is also ourself) desires to express his regrets to the public for tho little affair which oo noTii or us danced and dodged. currcd on Apache avenue Monday after noon. As Is generally known and under stood, wo wnnt to bo postmaster here. We havo wanted for tho Inst three years. From the present outlook we may want for three years to come. Wo were on our way to the bnnk at 3 o'clock when wo encountered the critter who presides over affairs at tho post ofllce. Ho claims that wo made a movo to drnwonhlm. His actions certainly led us to believe that he intended to get tho drop on us. It seems thut he fired five shots, nnd wo fired four ns both of us danced nnd dodged around on the street, nud then the crowd interfered. Wo do not apologize for shoot ing at tho postmaster, but for not hitting him. In fact, we haven't tho check to look a Chinaman in the facc since that event. As editor of Tint Kickku we ought to have made nt, least ono shot tell. As mnyor we ought to havo plunked him twlee. As a rep resentative of this great and glorious terri tory wo should not havo wasted ashot. We feel disgraced and humiliated uud realize that we deserve the local eensuro und ridi cule lielng heaped on our head. We are go ing over to Lone Jack In a day or two to interview the editor of The Banner, who published un editorial last week calling us un egotist and an ass. If we make as poor n record with our shooting Irons over there, we shall resign our political otllces, sell off all our property at auction nud go east and apply for n portion as lighthouse keeper. W Kilted n Niiurii Ileal. One night when Cactus Jim nud I were on guard at the corial lie said: "I was cow puiichln on B'ar river, Idaho, when homebody started a town Jest whar the stream makes a sharp land, I heard a good di al about tho town, and one day 1 got read) and rid over tlmr. I was slttlu In a siiUhiii when a fellow rides up from the norm on a pinyconutmewi. no was a cross eyed mitn and looked as If he'd bin cryhi. The feller who owned the saloon was city muohal, nud the cross eyed man calls him out ami MZ to him: "'Ar' this a free and enlightened kentry or no' " 'She ur' fur a fact,' says the marshal ns he proudly swelled out his hustim. "'Kin n man gltasquardcal In these yere parts' "'Yo' bet he kin! That's what the. glo rious nineteenth century Is yero fur, to gin every wirmlnt a wpiar' deal. Stranger, call uii the boys to drink at yo'r expense, -and then we'll see that yo' hev dead lo.ul of Justice,' "'Cnn.'t I git justice without that' use the feller, who had at-tlngy lookalsmt hl'ii. '"Not real, solid Justice.' ne thumnrslinl, lint tho sort Mint stays by yo' fur two ot three djiys.' "Wnsl, Mm feller serf, o' tumbles off lit olo mewl nud calls tip tho crowd to ticker nt Ids expense, and ho had to put down 19 big dollars to settle tho bill, " 'Tho cnij Is Jest this,' ho snys ns he stntids up on a bnr'l so Mint all could sec him, 'A feller who wns earn pin with me up at Puma Creek stole my watch ami dug out. I dug arter htm. In crosslu the creek hogottnlred In the quicksands. When I overtook, him his mewl had goiiuouterslght clean down lo tho saddle, but had struck hard pun nvd stopped, Tho feller wasn't goln down nay, but ho hud no show to git ashore.' I tfii-is t "TllK CASK 18 JEST THIS." "In course you opens fire on hlmf'ses tho marshal. '"In course I does, but I llresoveriWshots nnd don't hit him. That's what I'm yero to complain about.' " 'It's owln to tho slant o' yo'reyes, I take It?' " 'Sho ar', nud I wnnt a squnr' deal.' " in other words,' sez the nmrslinl, 'yo' want Justice to send somebody out lhar to pop him outer that saddle?' " 'That's mel' "it'll cost yo'W0. 'But I won't pay III I'm out (18 already fur a (10 watch I' " 'Stranger,' sez tho marshal ns his biisum swelled ngln, 'yo' cum yero domnndln jus tice. Yo' shell hov It. It's ngln thu law to hoot at a mnn out yero and not hit him nud this yero court fines you ISO, Yo've tookeu up half an hourof our Mine, nud tho cost will bo 115.' "'But yo' hain't no court of justice!' yells tho man ns bo drops off tho bnr'l, " 'Mebbo not!' sez tho marshal ns ho pulls his gun nnd looks around. 'Mehbu some other reptllo In this town is n court of jus tice! If so, let mu hear what his voice sounds like. If thur's uny dispute on thut pint wo might nswell settle her now. I tion't hear uny shoutln, and to this jeru cross eyed tenderfoot is lined (10 moro fur back talk, and court Is adjourned,' "But did ho collect the Hues?" 1 asked as Cactus Jim quietly chuckled over tho rem iniscence, "Surtln ho did, and while they was foolln around tho stranger's olo mewl went dead, and ho had to leuvo town ou foot." M. QUAD. Only nt Interval!. A Boston housekeeper "doing" Paris lately was greutly captivated by the llttlo white cupped, white uproncd baker boys currying from door to door with their trays of sugared dainties. "Of course, my lad," snld tho lady when ho arrived at Iter own, "you sometimes take ouu for yourself, do you not?" "I tako a candy, mndaino? Oh, no, thut would be wrong," returned the llttlo lad surprised; "1 only lick 'em now and then as I como along." Kovuo do Fumlllo. It I With Noiiiu reonle. Frank, aged B, Is trying lo explain to his llttlo sister Kthel what the soul Is. "You know, Kthel, your body doesn't go to heaven It's your soul." Kthel What is the soul? Frank Well, It's something Inside you not your heart. It's something you feel, but can't sec. Kthel Oh, I know! You menu tho din ner. Texas Sittings. A Ilurat Incident. "Why don't you go to work?" nsked the farmer. " 'Cause no ono won't gimme nouo In my line," said the tramp. "I've applied to several railroads, but they won't have me." "What's your line brakemau?" "No. I maku tracks," said tho tramp. And then ho made n few, with thu fanner a close second. Truth. A Wide Choice. Guard (at tho World's fair) I advlsa you to go to your stato building and make thut a sort of headquarters for receiving mall, writing, letters, resting, etc. Whut stato are you from? Drummer Well cr which state build ing is tho most' comfortable? Now York Weekly. Her Tlmo Almtitt Up. Ijidy Is Mrs. Dinks at homo? Servunt No'm. Lady Can you tell mo when sho will bo nt home? Servnnt As soon as sho gets tho parlor dusted, mum, nu she's nearly finished now. Boston Globe, FliiUhcd With Her. "I notice thut you don't call on tho Byugs girls any more. Why is It?" "Tlio Inst tlmo I was Micro I asked her if sho had nnythlug I could take homo nud rend, nud she handed mo a book on how to keep house on (300 a year." Indianapolis Journal. Tim llnnlrat Kind. Aunt Jane Is the water whero you live now soft or hard? Wee Niece I guess it's pretty hnrd. Tho girl spattered home on the lamp chimney tho other night, nu It broko nil to pieces. Trademark Review. Ur Count) Slie Doei. Mrs. McBrlde I wish you would tell me why I'attl calls every ono of her tours a "farewell tour?" Mr. McBrlde Doesn't sho fare wull every time? Detroit Free Press. TouaorUI Itain. Ile-Isu'clM retty? w rs. Mnydupp's black hair pretty She I don't think It half so pretty as her light brown. Texas Slftlngs. Too Much For II Int. Williamson I've quit my barlior, Henderson Why? Williamson Ills first baby Is beginning to talk. Truth. Mwklug Himself Comfortable, Wife (to corpulent husband) Stnnd Just there and let no sit in the shade. Humor-' t tlche Ulutei Tim 1.1-Kmit or I'.vll. Tliln In thesoriuwfiil nturr Told when the tullluht fall, Anil nil tho uiouknjs wnlked tounlher llolilhitf each other' tnllii, ''Our fathers lived lu tlio forest, Foollnh people Mere the)-1 They went down to thn roriilniid To teach thn farmers In luy, "Our fathers frltked lu tho millet, Our fiithnti skipped In tlio wheat, Our fntliets Iiiiuk In the brunches, Our fathers danced In tho tlreet, ''Then cnuin the terrible farmers, NothliiK of play they khnw Only they cnimlit our fnthen And set them to lalsir, tool "Het them touork In tluirornlaiul With plows and slrklei and Halls, Put them In uiud-walled prboiia And rut off their beautiful tullil "Now mo ran Match our fathers, Mullen nnd Isiwed and nli, HtoophiK ontr the millet, Htlrrlnit thu silly mold, "DrlvhiK a foolish furrow, MulidliiKU muddy )okn, Hlccpliur lu mud-walled prison, HteephiK their food hi smoke, "We may not speak to our fathom, For if the fanners knew "' Tin;)' Mould como up to the forest And set us lo lalsir, too," This is tho horrible story Tobias thn twIllKht falls, As tho liiiinkejs walk together llohlhiu ench others' tails, lliiil)nrd Klpllnu, Mr. Chan. N, fatter Ot Frederick, M.I., sufTorod terribly for over ten yonr with nbsccisci and running sores oa his left log. Ho waited away, crow weak and thin, and wai obliged to tno a cane nnd crutna. Kvcry thing which could bo thnuitht of wm don without good result, until ho began taking Hood's Sarsaparilla which effected a perfect cure. Mr. Hsuer U now In tho licit of health. Full particulars of ul cue will be sent all who adilrcsi O. I. Hoop & Co., Lowell, Masi. HOOD'S PlLLS ra tits trait sftar-dlantrriUa, Miit dig mUob, curs headache and blUwuasu. Our entire Handkerchief Stock for one week at OKE'HAU? 1 PB Gome in and examine them, it will be to YOUR BEST INTEREST. I030O8TREET. W. I). SHIELDS, M. 1). PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. orncii. U36 0ST. HejIJtnce. 2731 Pear Street. Telephone (A. Real Estate Loans On farms In Eaitcrn Nobraika and lmproT4 property la Lincoln, for s torm of years. UOWBST CURRENT RATES. R. E. AND J. MOORE. mcn.RD8 BLOCK. Corner Klerctith and O Streets, Lincoln. CAPITAL Steam Iy eiijj AND CLEANING WORKS. no. mi rv.'rw-oiifti 4t. ree 'N Gherlnp. r irms V. i .to to V.. L. rabner, I', A. Santa Fo Koute 'ii.nl a, Nob., for free copy of illustrated fuldar LbCllhliiff Cliorolcoo fittctiv mid thoTonkawa, Pawn and KlcknpooRer nt liina, oon to Moiwned for settlement by the i . Sf government. Million ot acre In the An ml HKricultural country under the sua, waiting lo bo tickled by tho husbandman's plowsnaroi ilii Is almost the last chance to obtain one ol Uucls Sam' free farm. i . . 11 . i 4 M I 7 ,- irfWr?ifcijti' 'U8u,i ., . .:.jXfti,.MX. ,. w. ..,:. . .. .fa. -, .i Wmtfcfwa j. .M-ljMiy..