v THE SATURDAY MORXING OOURIE1 I iv 'if HUE A dapper young woman entered nn eastern nowspapor olllco tho other day, and alngllnRouttho "porting and fashion cdltora.rentortalncdlthenilwlfh an im- promptu dlcourBo.on;UloycHnK7or,wo men, riding eostumca'for womon, etc. 8ho Bald, among othor thlium: A"l am a blcyclo rider, and I know bloyulo riding, dono properly, IS THR ATTIIA0T1OX that will gei womon out of doom, givo thorn excreta:), improvo their health, nnd add to their own personal nppcarnnco. I havo learnod this from eight years of experience on tho wheel. Tho groat point about this, howovor, in, that thoro is'a way to rldo nnd n way r.ot to ride. Women need to avoid tho crrora of tho gontlomon riders of tho wheel. Riding to break records or to make records Is bad, especially In tho case of womon. It is nbusing a healthy pastime that ought to bo follow d Bolely for pleasuro. When followed ih a recreation on rational prin ciples It cm not help but bo a bonollt to womon folk. Two things nro to Imj con sidered by tho women riders. They nro position and dress. A lady rider should always sit squarely on tho saddle, with hoad orcct, and tho saddlo shoilld bo high enough to provent that singularly awkward movement of tho knees that resembles tho motions of a grnsshopper. A ludy should always rldo a blcyclo as gracefully as sho does a horso.and there in no rcuson in tho world why sho Bhould not. Oross has a great deal to do with making bicycling popular with women. Bicycling is n pastime that any woman may indulge in with perfect propriety, and yot a good many womon aro proju. dlcod against it because of tho Ill-looking nttlro that many womon wear. A protty girl always looks prottlor on n bicycle, but oho cannot appear well unless sho is dressed becomingly. Somo women riders seem to think that any old gar mont is good enough to go blcyclo rid Ing in. They ought to soo thomsolvcs as others see thorn, and they would never go riding In old or Bhubbyjgnr montB again. Othors wear gowns that tho wind plays havoc with, and still othors copy tho stylo of rnco horso jockeys. All theso things tend to do grado bicycling. " 'Well, what is -tho proper thing to wear?' was asked. "Tho gown should bo of durk bluoor black. But, after all, it isn't bo much what tho dress worn is, as it is what is worn under it. A woman Bhould con suit hor comfort in tho mattor of under wear. Thoro is a good deal of reform agitation going on about blcyclo dross for womon. In Boston tho womon nro urged to wear tho Syrian trousors, but that is too radical. Now, tho way I dress is this: I woar no potticoats, but instead what aro callod equestrian trousers. What aro equestrian trousors? Why thoy aro tights, pluin tights, closoly knitted and warm. Comfort in riding u bicyclo depends vory largoly on tho undorwonr of tho ridor. Womon should always use tho union underwear, with an equipoiso waist. That docs away with corsets, and gives freo play to tho uppor purt of tho body. Tho outer gown is of 'tho walking gown pattorn, with n closo Htting doublo breasted habit waist, open, at tho throat to permit tho insertion of u' shirt front with a collar and scarf. For this habit on warm days a loose waist of silk or cambric may bo substituted. Tho making of tho propor bicyclo dress is an important feature. It should bo linod with bluck satin. That will permit it to slip easily over tho knocs and not impodo tho movement of tho knees.. How to keop a dress in order when tho wind blows briskly is a problem that bothers many women riders. I will show you how I do it." Tho young woman lifted tho horn of her bluck satin linod gown and pointed to a lino of tnpo, about an inch in width, sowed along tho bottom of tho gown in front and at tho sides. "That is sown in that tupo at regular intervals'," she said. "It gives Rulllcient weight to keop tho dress from blowing upward, no mutter how stitf tho breeze. See how it works?" Tho young woman sat down and caught up tho dress u triilo and let it go again. It slid instantly back into piaco. "Tho dress," sho continued, should bo cut so that it will hung about two inches from tho ground when tho wearer is walking. Tho best material for a blcyclo gown I tliul, is cravenotto cloth. It is dust proof and water proof, and durable. Ouuutlot gloves should bo worn with tho gown. Tho hnt should bo of tho Alpine equestrian pattern and tho shoes should be low and squuro-tood. You boo this attire does not dopurt much from tho conventional stylo of uny neat wulking attire. Vet it improves tho up peurunco of any woman bicyclo rider, and because it is pretty and noat, it will nuiko all women riders look attractive, und tho protty ones prettier still. It will popularize tho heiilthtul sport. If u woman thiui attired will mount a bicycle, rldo slowly with hoad erect and draw In long breaths uud till her lungs with good fresh ulr,sho will got tho full bonuflt of tho exorcise and pleasuro of bicycling. In beginning, two hourB riding is enough. This can bo increased daily, littlo by little, until at longth tho ridee can. rldo all duy if sho wants to without fooling futigue. Tho blcyclo should never bo ridden, at any tlmo so long as tho ridor feels tired out. It tho women will tako up bluycllng in tho manner I recommend they will discover that it is a delightful rocroation. Thoy will got In n fascinating way tho oxor ciso they much nood, nnd then health, and looks, nnd digestion, will all bo im proved." Aoraathtng Lacking. MIm FlirUome And you uny you havo never kissed a pretty girl? How singular! You don't mean to tell me you lock the courage? Mr. de Cyrdquo No, not exactly, MIm Fllrtsome (coquottlshly) Well, mrely you have not lacked theopportunlt) I Mr. ue Cynlque No, not exactly. MIm Fllrtsome What was It, then, you lacked? Mr. do Cynlnue The pretty girl. New York Herald. . Turning the Tablet. "Poor Hilly, hu'a down on his luck," said Dawson. "Ills tailor una turned on him Billy always paid him ou the Installment plan, and tho other day he bought n dresi lult, and the tailor said he'd send it home on the Installment plan, too coat when Billy hod paid for It, then the vest, then n lex of the troiucm, and so on." Harper's Bazar. Well Named. "This Is angel cake," remarked ono of the boarders nt Mrs. linshcroft'e feedcry when tho dessert was reached. "I know," replied tho ono addressed. "Why Is It so cnlledr" "Uecauso of Its fatal effects, I suppose." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. No Improvement. "No, ho's no better," said a woman when ;ho doctor came to visit her husband. 'You told motoglvoblm as much of the powder as would lny on a 10 cent piece. I hadn't n 10, but 1 gave him as much as rould go on 10 ones, and he's worse It any thing." Youth'H Companion. Another Matter Entirely. Mrs. Dlmling (to her daughter) Why ire you so censorious about Amy? The Dl ole says we must love our enemies. Miss Dlmling But she's not my enemy. she's my dearest friend. Truth. After the Ilrjectlon. Mr. Dollcy (bitterly) You refuse me, but rou never refused my presents. MIssGilgal No, they were of somo value, -Detroit Free Press. Unsettled Vet. Friend I suppose everything Is settled In ' -cgard to the marriage of your daughter? . Stoakley Well, yes. everythlug but tho ilHs.-Tlt-Bltfc Nothing Gained. I H Miss Plnkerly I hear, Mr. Tutter, thai rou wro' Miss Panhandle a poem on her sonvalrseence. By the way, how is she get Aag onf Totter I understand that she has had a jclnpsc. Truth. , Concentration. The man who ttt k one thins In life, and bat one, May hope to achieve it beforo life be done. (Jut ho who seeks all thing!) wherever he goes Only reaps from tho hones which around him be sows A harvest of barren regrets. A Subject I'nr Bympatliy. The prisoner, a tough looking citizen with a prognathous cast of countenance nnd n bad oye, had been found guilty of beating his horse to death. "I wish it were In my power to punish your brutnlity as It deserves by sending you to the penitentiary," said tho magis trate, with strong indignation, "but I shall flno you (100, and you will stand committed till tho fine nnd costs are paid." "Can't you mako It a little lighter, squiref " pleaded the prisoner, drawing tho back of n grimy hand across his eyes. "That's putty hurd ou a man that's Just loot a good hossl" Chicago Tribuuc, Hood's Pills euro consumption. Thoy aro tho best after-dinner pill and family cathartic. Wanted Nursing by a thoroughly experienced und competent nurse. IIuvo nursed ten years in tho enst. Inquiro 10.15 F street. Canon City coal ut tho Whitobrenst Coal und Linio Co. A lino lino of canned soups, 25 cents por can. Miller & Gilford, grocers. Tho finest grocery utoro in tho city. Miller & Gilford. Miss S. E. Iilakesleottluo dressmaking, at MrB. Gosper's, 1114 O street. Pruited ico cream soda wutor iiindo from tho natural fruit, ut Rector's Phar macy. Lincoln Prumo und Art Co., 223 South Eleventh. Misses Hoggs & Cutryn, dressmaking parlors F.no stumping. l!lll M street tolophono 511). Visit tho Now Students' gallery and bo convinced that tho work is first-class. 1031 O street. "Tho Best" Luundry, 2208 O street, tolophono 570, II. Townsond & Co., pro prietors, Lincoln, Nob. ItoiilllH III Chlt'ilKO, Elegant rooms for .World's fair visitors right ut World's fulr grounds. Prices reasonublo. Mum. E. U. Aimki.okt, 0017 Sheridan uve., tf Chicago. Tlui Union I'uclllo Cheap lbite. Only 10.00 first clans to Ogdon, Salt Luko, Itolonn, Spokuuo and Portland Oro. For full particulars call at city tickot office 1044 O stroot. i i i . lr-dSl BRrrefS' I ti MMUWvBmL ' "i Z3&3Pfl KaTfUEL THE LIMEKILN CLUB. BROTHER GARDNER TALKS ABOUT THI TORPEDO CHICKEN. He Tells With (treat KIoqimmm Raw Brother CMtaloape Johnson rata Frow This Karth Away by Making the Mistake of Hta life. (Copyright, 1MB, by Charles 11. Uwls.1 "It are my painful dooty," said Brother Gardner aa ha arose with a letter in his hand, "to announce to dls club dat de grim destroyer has obertooken another momber of dls club. Brudder Cantelope Johnson, an honorary member reeldin In St. Louis, haa passed from dls frocen atrth away. I am perhaps da only member present who personally knowed do deceased. Ho had his good an his bad side, samo as do rest of us. Hit loss won't ereato any pertlcklor vacuum In St Iiouls, and ylt ho filled a sartln pine while he llbed. Ho would hor Ubcd a good deal longer had ho heeded my advice, llo was do sort of man who couldn't believe any thin oulcss he saw it wld his own eyes. When dat Ohio man Invented do torpedo chicken, I writ to Brudder John son to look out fur (t. I explained how It worked. 1 caushuned him dat death lurked In do hencoop an dat he'd better buy his fowls nt do rcg'lar price an In de reg'lar way. Dls letter am from Brudder John son's wlddcr. It says dat ho was found in an alley all busted to pieces, an sho liellevca dat a powder mngnx'.uo blowed up sum whnr or dat ho was obertooken by nn nlrth quake, Poro womnul It am better thus, an I shall not attempt to ondccelvo her." There wns n general movement in the hall, showing Intense excitement, and after a mlnuto Brother Gardner continued! "I hev de plctur bofo' me. It am a dark night In St. Louis. A gcutlo rain am de- 0 - tf J3fc ? Trr; TO Tt-i- icafc "A DARK N10IIT tN 8T. LOUIS." scendln. Brudder Cantelope Johnson am stttin by his own fireside. Ho suddenly feels dat he would llks fried chicken fur break fas'. De market am shet up, an ho can't buy nufflh. Ho rises up an takes my ole letter outer de top buroo drawer an reads It. When he cums down to dat part whar I tell blm dat do torpedo chicken can't be told in de dark from a fat pullet, be smiles in contempt at my innercense. Ho thinks of me as a childlike ole yahoo who would blow out de gas an go to bed smllln. ' "Five rolnlts later Brudder Johnson am out doahs wld nn empty bag under his arm. His wtfo thinks be am goln sumwhar fur sbavln's. Ho reckolectsa sartln hencoop in a sartln alley, an his steps turn dat way. "I toiler Brudder Johnson in tmaglno shun. He keeps dnt samo smilo on his face. He feels it his dooty to wrlto to me an cnu shun mo ng'in bettln any money oude string game, "Now Brudder Johnson has turned Into de alley. Now he has stopped to peer an listen. Now he tiptoes along nn reaches do alley doah of do hencoop. Ills motif waters, an he feels hungry as he thinks of do meat Inside. "Now Brudder Johnson has pried off a bo'd wld de ole chisel he brung along. Now be crawls into do coop. He can't see, but his enrrtell him dat 3 fine fat fowls am roostin wldin reach of his hand. Now ho keerfully reaches out his right hnnd an feels about till It rests on a fo'-pound hen. Sho does not gin do alarm, but acts like she was.'spectln him to cum an take her. "Look I Llstcnl Now Brudder Johnson gits a firm hold o' dat hen an gtns a sudden yank. He am already tastin fried chicken when dar cums a flush, a roar, a boom, an all Is oberl He had got hold of do torpedo chicken. He bail Invited de grim destroyer to cum an bust him all to pieces. Dat same smile of contempt fur mo was on his face when dey picked it up fo'ty rods away. I hev no doubt dat Jest as he yanked at dat hen ho waa thlnkln ho ortcr telegraph me not to soak my feet In kerosene an stick 'em Into do oven to dry. "My frcn's, I hev no lectur to read yo'. I shall not bold dls case up as a warnln to yo'. Wo shall hang do emblem of mournln on do alley doah fnr do usual length of time, an we shall pass do usual resolushun of condolence wld do fam'ly. If dar am any odder member of his club who nm so skeptical dnt ho must blow down do bar'l of n gun to sea If it am loaded an who won't bellevo dnt over 700,006 torpedo chickens nm slttin on de hen roosts of dls kentry jest bekase ho hasn't happened to sco ono, I shall not consider it my dooty to argy wld him. Let him, find out fur hlsscK, but let him also remember dnt dls club doan' pay no funeral spensca nor buy bo gravestuns," THE ARIZONA KICKER. The Frantic Attempt of an Esteemed and Its Itesult. Poon CniTTEnl Monday nfternoon we decided to buy n bell for tho first church t-diflce erected In this town, and Tuesday 4"..v DOTl ESTEEMED HAD DEEH SHOOTIXO ATCS. morning we received a challenge to Oght a iluel with that low down, no account critter whom we are occasionally obliged to refer to as our esteemed contemporary The aal !.' ts I 'Wfc waxir napax "-s.- Its was a mixture of poor orthography and lad grammar, and of courso we paid no at tention to It. Wheu wo stnrted for the post offlce at noon, the Incident had entirely lipped our memory. We wcr walking long .Apache avenue, busy with our thoughts, when we suddenly hcoims con clous of tho fact that some ono waa dis charging his pistols In tho street. We had counted IS reports and were wandering whether Bod Williams or Bam White had token loom again when Mr. Wheatly.thr grocer, stepped npand Informed us that our esteemed had boon shooting at us for the last 10 minutes from a distance of about eight feet. We deeply regret what fol lowed It was the fifteenth attempt mado by him to assassinate us, and la-fore wo could restrain ottrself wo pinked him tipnnd slammed him against a billboard with such force that he remained In a senseless con dition for two hours. While the general verdict is that lie was rightly served, we still feel pity for him ami wish we hadn't done it. Not ono of tho bullets had coma 4WUU1II hto ieci oi us. no n as urea at toast 00 bullets at us In tho Inst two years, and tho best shot he ever mado wns when h ttoked our hat. Ho can't shoot, edit, plnr poker, make a public speech, get nominated forofflconor mix In society, His weekly paper lms no more publlo Influence than an empty flour sack. Why ho continues tollve Is an enigma to everybody. Some editors In our plnco would have killed htm long ago, hut wo haven't tho heart to even foreclose tho mortgago we hold on his office. Nature meant tho coyoto to fill a certain position among tho nnlmnl crvnflnn. Nature meant our esteemed contemporary to do tho same thing ntnong mankind, hut Just what sort of nnlnconoono will over know. Ho mnv lio run over and killed by a drovo of mules somo day, but wo shnll never harm him. Not A Success. Professor Blrdsnll's pan ornmlo lecture ou Japan ut tho town hall Saturday evening resulted about as wo pre dicted when ho nppllcd to us as mayor for his license. A large audience paid n quar ter a head, expecting to witness two or three clog dances, n cottplo of sand jigs nnd somo cannon ball exercise. It wns also gen erally understood thnt three or four good songs would bo sung, somo tumbling in dulged In and that tho professor would of fer anybody $3-1 to stand beforo him for four rounds. To the great ntnazement nnd dis gust of the crowd ho began to show pictures of temples nnd pagodas and Japanese houses and to boost tho Japs up tho ladder for their Intellect nnd civilisation, nnd as we cast an eye around wo saw that tho boys could not be held down very long. Wo slipped back on tho stngo and asked tho professor to drop Japan and whoop it up for Arizona. In view of the popular excitement over tho question of statehood he could have raked in a big jack pot ou n pair of deuces, but ho wasn't tho man for tho occasion. Ho per sisted in giving tho nudlenco Japan until what wo feared camo to pass. The boys roso up aud shot tho towers off his old pa godas and stampeded tho audience. Tho professor got nwny, but left a cartload of Japanese ruins Iwhlnd him. We must re peat thnt this town has Its Idioms, nnd the stranger who wants to please us must post himself in advance. We run to cattle and mules and mines nnd don't go a copper on pagodas and templea Japan may bo a hangup country, but ws bank on Arizona to tho last cent. Wo can sit still for about 10 minutes under most any sort of a lecture, but then we demnnd a break in tho monot ony. We don't want all songs or all jigs or all Jokes, but a proper compound, jnst as rosin and mutton tallow and vaseline are mixed together to cure a mule's sore heeL In about a week more, after the boys have 'Cooled down, Professor Blrdsall can return and take away his Japanese ruins, and we trust that tho lesson may sink deep into his soul aud tako the stiffness out of his neck. LOST HI9 HEAD. II Ilecame a Lightning Hod Man and lie , Scorned Her. "Ho loves mo, nnd ho will come this even ing." It was Evnngellno Wntklns who mur mured the nbovo murmur as sho sat on tho piazza of her father's country mansion as tho sun went down and tho flitting swal low began to flit. Down In tho meadow an old sheep was bleating for her little sheep let, which luul gone astray. In the farm yard tho old man had Justsatdowntomllk the lop horned cow and let tils thoughts go back to years ago. Half a mile down the dusty highway Farmer Johnson wns yell ing " Whoa hnw-geel" at his steers, and in the poar tree at tho gate a robin redbreast sat and sang his soul away, or tried to. It was just such an evening as lovers lovo to lore. There were rhythm and cadence nnd gentleness about it, and as the fair Evnn gellno waited she felt that sho could bo happy with the object of ber affections, even if they had to live in a straw stack and subsist on raw onions. Walter Hlg glnbottom bad not asked her to bo his wife not In plain English but both under stood. When you strain a girl to your heart with such vlolenco as to crack one of her ribs, she looks upon it as a proposal of mar riage, and nothing is left but to name tho date and the preacher. "Walterl" "Evangeline! Ho stood before her, but as sho looked at blm the glad light In her faco faded nwny, and her fond heart almost ceased to beat. Ho was as cold as an Iron hitching post In January and as solemn as n turkey tho day before Thanksgiving, WashoilU Had ho been kicked by her fnthcr'H mule while cut ting across lotsf Had ho stepped on the blndo of a boo and been whacked by the bundle? "Walter, what Is It?" "MUs Wntklns, I havo called to say fare welll I nm going fnrawnyl Itlsnotllkcly that we shall evcrmeetngaln. I have called to give you back your heart nnd to toll you that you had letter marry Bill Tompkins tf ho will bnve you." "But, Walter" "I will explain. Up to this nfternoon I xis working for my father nt n salary of (15 u month nnd board and washing aud darning. I had no dreams of the great world beyond. I hadnosoarlugnmbltions. All has suddenly changed. A lightning rod man stopped at our house for dinner, with tho result that I hired to him for 2Sa month and expenses, and I leave tomorrow." "But, Walter" "You must forget me. From now on pour love will be hopeless. A lightning rod man cannot mate with n fnrmer'b daughter. I'lin gulf is wide ami deep and unbrldgablo. Marry Bill Tompkins, who nlwnys rather liked you, and If ho ever builds n lmm I frill put lightning rods all over It and givo aim 10 percent olY. Evangeline -MUs Wntklns- farewell!" llo turned nnd walked away Into the mini mer night walked on ami on and on tin .11 his conttalls dually vanished from view forever and forever. Evnngellno wns like )no turned to stone. For n long hulf hour ho never moved an eyewlnker. Then, mov ,ng like ono In a dream, sho descended tho piazza steps and walked around to the buck )f the bouse, where hor mother wan mukitig toft soap, aud sat down on a log. "I don't think 1 rut lu oulta 'uuff war grease," remarked the mother as she looked up. Evangeline did not reply, "It's h'lled dver twice this evenln. and that's a had sign." No reply from Evangeline. 'What's tho matter?" No reply, Sho could not reply. She wns deader than a doornail struck down by the sudden shook of Walter Hlgglnhottom's faithlessness. alighting Ills Dignity. "l.ook heah, Mrs, Johnson," ha said aa he halted a woman who was passing the depot, "folks dun tells tnedntyo'nm gwlne to bring a lawsuit ag'ln our rnllrode fur kllltn yo'r cow." ,, "DOES TO' rr.itAMnui.ATE DR rosisiiuK I HOLDS?" "What yo' got tcr do 'lont It?" sho rather indignantly queried In reply. "What I got tcr do? Whnt I got tcr do? Does yo' perambulate do poslshun I holds on dls rnllrode, Mrs. Johnson?" "W worksJttdo freight bouse. I reckon." "Exactly, Mrs. Johnson exactly. I works In do freight house by day, but nt night I ndwlscs wld do ofllshuls of do road. Why didn't yo' cum to mo 'bout dnt cow?" "Huulra Scott dun tolo mo how to do." "Oh, ho did! Houbo Scott ho dun had do fiall to advise yo' 'bout rallrodoblzncss, did to? Wcrry well, Mrs. Johnson. I won't dctnlu yo' no longer. Go right 'long, Mrs. Johnson." "What's do mnltuh?" sho anxiously asked. "Nufllu 'tall, Mrs. Johnson. In da co'so of a week do ofllshuls will telegraph me bout yo'r cow an ax hor walue. Had yo' como to mo I should hov put de flggorsnt 133, but under present sarcumstanccs I shnll reply dnt a lS-cent nigger named Ilcube Scott claims dat wo killed a SO-ccnt cow be longing to a 2-sblllln cull'd womnn, but dnt wo had better fight de caso cl'ar to do soo prcme court nt Washington bofo' wo pay damages. Good artcrnoon, Mrs. Johnson." "But I'zo cum fur advice," sho protested. "Too Into, Mrs. Johnson. Owln to con sanguinary clrcumlocushun a drayman namo Iicubo Scott will participate de legal ity of yo'r claim, while It will be my dooty to sagaclnte slch a procrasttnashun as will mako yo' tired cl'ar down to yo'r toes. Au revolr, Mrs. Johnson. Dey tells mo huckle berries am look In up right smart dls sciun." M. QUAD. No Use. A brace of burglars were prowling through tho houso in the middle of tho night, and after picking up such stray things as were obtalnablo down stairs they went to tho floor above Here they came to a room in which two children were asleep, and adjoining it was tho room of tho man and his wife. A dim light was burning, and one of tho burglars stepped in while the other watched at tho door. "Get anything?" whispered tho watcher whet) tho marauder returned. "Naw," was tho disgusted reply, "nothln but n few bits of jowclry off the dresser." "Didn't you see nothln?" "Nnw." "Did you go through bis pockets?" Tho other one looked through tho dark ness at his pal contemptuously. "Courso not," ha growled; "can't you see his wife's there with him?" Then they tiptoed on up to tho next floor. Detroit Freo Press. Reasoning It Out. "Chollle," said Chappie sorrowfully, "did you evnh weflect that If it wasn't for that beastly wow Gawgo Washington got us into In the Inwst century you and I would havo been weal English subjects?" " Yaas, and it makes me feel weal dwead ful." "Well, I say, let's swenh allegiance to the queen now, old fcl. Washington's acts need not bind us. Ho did not wepwesent us In tho least, faw, ye know, Chollle, we weren't bawn then, to how could be?" Harper's Bazar. . AU the Same, Mrs. Wlckwlrc Don't you think you .would mako a better success of life If you were to go to work? Weary Watklns Iditnno. Do you think a man ought to work on Sunday? Mrs. Wlckwlrc Certainly not, If he can avoid it. Weary Wntklns Well, everyday Is Sun d'ty to n man in my business. Indianapo lis Journal. , An Inerato. Jack Fonl Did you see that girl cut me then? Frank Wilcox I noticed she dldut'bow. Jnck Ford And yet I saved her life. Frank Wilcox Howr Jack Ford We wero engaged, and final ly sho fntd hbe'd rather die than marry mc, so I let her off. Albany Argus. Too Much For II Im. "I understand that you havo thoroughly mastered the English lnncuaKe." "I thought I had till yesterday." "And now you think you hareu'tf Whnt led you to chango your opinion!1" "I rend n description of ngnme of base ball." New York Press. No Wonder. Attorney Now, sir, can't you remember ill that was said on that evculugf Witness No, Indeed I "Hut you heard lt" "Yes, but there were six women talking." Cleveland Plain Denier. Cun't Develop lleyoml That. There's tho tlrl who' stuck on fenrlne, and thoelrl who's Jtifct commenclm; to bo some, whnt interested In this art of elf defense; There's tho itlrl who's coml nt riding, und the elrl who Jukes tostrlilliiirorcrleauuesof dalo and mount a In with eneri:) Intcubc; I'hvru's the girl who worships rowlnc, nnd tho ono who's fond of showing a ninrUmnnshlj) nntounillnij In a KTson of her tex; There' tho girl who' always ready, with a nerve both true amllady,whenwoofuldun Bern threaten or dlltlcultles vex; Hut despite tho manly carriage and the open scorn of marriage wlitch tho "Independent" fuddltts seem to think so very nlco You may perhaps have mted that they're very seldom quoted as having lost completely their Inherent fear f mice. Detroit Tribune. I o CVI Ml vS3sOng 'Jill Km mmJ hn Pi WWW- S-WWt wWoj', S Wm mm ninrMb Son of Mayor Til I brook ot MoKoeiport, r,, had a florofula bunch under one oar which the pliyslcan l.tncod ami then It became n running sore, and was followed by erysipelas. Mrs. Tlllbrook rt him Hood's Sarsaparilla the sore healed up, ho became perfectly well and H now n lively, robust boy, oilier parents whoso children suffer from Impure blood should profit by this example. Hoods Pill cur lUbitmi comtiptioaby rettotlng pirUlsllloaotlouottliealltntuttrycsaat. As ninny of our customers coultl not nttend our Corset sale on nccotint of the storm on Saturday last, we will ive them another chance. Next Saturday evening from 7 until 9 o'clock, when we will sell our guaranteed summer corsets at For two hours. J. U. HI 1 1 1038 O STREET. Real Estate Loans On farms In Eastern Nebraska and Improve property in Lincoln, for a term of years, IrOWBST CURRENT RATES. R. E. AND J. MOORE. ItlCn.UtDS DLOCK. Corner EloTenth and O Streets, Lincoln. Wfi'UT.Ti'CI Howtoeconoinliell fV Willi J If namlmnnnoiAailn Iietlme! Y.l A T tlin ,w.ilil' f.U.Alui.. ! PO ; Jj ix-LlL. nilrantaso, Is a nuc--... . tion that may Into, puzxlnd you. Avoid mistakes by gcttlna' .poMed InadTsnco. rorhapsthollliiitratedS folder Just Imuod by Hnnta Fe Route Is! . whnt you need. It contains tIows of world's ;falr building. accurate map of Chicago,' .mid other informs- ''. &? Atttt SANTA FEi :i:o"lV:,ru,;.A6m.ha ROUTE. I ; nnd nsk for free copy, ; LADIES' AND CHILDREN'S HAIRCUTTING o o o SHAMPOOING A SPECIALTY, AT SAM WESTEIIEIELD'S., DURR 1JLOCK. FROM S2.50 TO S4.60. Lincoln Stiff Hat Factory i. W. COIt. TWELFTH AND O 8TS. Old Hdta Mocked, Cleaned, Dyed and wide as yaod an new. All kinds of JlejHtir Work done. P 1 8 ree arms im iOherokee in ycy Stiap. Writo to K. L. rnlmcr, V, A. Santo Fe Itouto Omnliu. Neb., fur free cop) of llluitrutcd folder detcrililng Ctiorolcoo ftrlit nnd the TonVawn, Pawnee nnd Klcknpoollrsrr vivtloim, hooii to IwoihwiihI for not t lenient by tho l S. government. Millions of ncres in tlir tin est iiKrirultiirHl count iy under thosun, waiting to Im) tickled by tho hunbuuilmiiu's plonslntro; this Is almost tho Inst cliuuco to obtain ono of Uuclo Sam's freo furnu. Tli l.ui'Ki'ot In tho Win Id I Overl.UH Kooms! COII. BOTH 8T AND ST. LAWHENCE AVE, Only two block from tho Midway I'lnUiiiicu entrance of tho world's fair. Ainrrlciiii I'luii tXOO. Kiiropi-iiii riun, I..M, Writo for dntos, room nnd rates to CUPKLANI) TOWNSKNl). Mr Formerly Mgr, 1'iilmer llouso. THE GREAT EASTERN HOTEL. t'lilriigu ASK YOUR DEALER FOR "HAPPY HOME" CLOTHING. The llet for the I'rlro In tliti World I F.VK.KY SUIT OUAHANTKKI)! Manufactured only by L. C, WACHSMUTII ft CO., Chicago, Illinois. IS i 01 1 l f A V ! ?l 4 4 M AiOJU-JkiAh. jh -i-iiSs -.'Ai; v, t-A; lAlsfrfrnmlifc u .tJeitt,.. .s.MM moi' ..wm