Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893, January 28, 1893, Image 6

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CRPITKL CITY COURIER
I
.
n
I,
I Si
Mrs. J. C BELL
lU.jimt received something en
tirely new and novel tor ladle
head nttlro. It It the
Borden Bang
Having no network about It
whatever, the hair being last
ened together by a newly pat
ented Idea which iloci not
heat the head, an other do.
A FULL LINE OF COSMETICS
Hair ornament, and hair Rood.
A imial, we lead In artistic hair
dressing and manicuring. Call
and cc u.
1 14 North Fourteenth St.
c
HNON
ITV
Get tho Genuine only at
P. BARTON Manager
Durr Block, cor. nth and O Sts. Tel, 71
COLUMBIA
National Bank
Lincoln, : Nebraska
Capital, - $250,000
OJSctri and Dim tort:
Mm . Wright Pre. T. 1C. Banders, V.-P.
J. H. MoClay. Cashier.
VBIeJaaioa, HPLau, Tho Cochran. K
Kser, T W Lowery, W I. Dayton
al Banking Butlnett Transacted
Collection a Specialty.
German National Bank
LINCOLN NSB.
Capital
Surplus
$100,000.00
, 20,000.00
Jseish Boehmer, President,
Merman H. Sehaberg, Vice Prett
Cht.E Walt, Cashier.
Geo. II. Schroake, Att. Cashier,
The First National Bank
0 and Tenth Sts.
CQttH, $400,000 - Surplus, $100,000
orrictnst
JT. a. BAHWOOD, Pmidtnt.
0BA8. A. BANNA, ViM-PmUnU.
F. M. COOK, OMAter.
0. 8. LIPPiNCOTT, Au't Gunbr
H. D. MILLKtt, Au't OunUr.
z
HPITHL W
NATIONAL BANK
W $300,000.
LIHCOLM MUR
.W.MoeaiB, B.J.WAtas
President Vtoe-Prest
R. 0. Outoalt, Cashier.
LOMBARD 1MVBSTHBMT CO.,
Farm and City Loans
AT LOW RATKS.
fJB-Money furnished promptly
on ap-
proved iccurity.
E.C.JONES, Manager
lljo O Street, Lincoln, Neb
REAL ESTATE LOANS
Oft tanas in eastern Nebraska and Improved
property In Uneotn for term of year.
Lowest Current Rates
R. E. & d. MOORE.
RICHARDS BLOCK,
terser llth A O Streets, Lincoln.
American
Exchange
National
Bank
I, M. Ravmonr.
I'realdent
I) K. Thompson,
Vlc-ireldent
8. II. DUHNHAM.
Coihler
D. O. W'iko,
Aut. Cashier
Richard's Block, Cor. Eleventh and O HI.
LINCOLN, NEBR.
CAPITAL. $350,000
DIBEOTOBSi
7 If. Raymond. ImvU Qnootv, 8. H. Ournaam,
8. rVrBurnfiam. . H" l.amlrlpn,
it fc'. Ttumfiti,
STORIES BV JUDGE ROWLAND.
They Will It Found Ito "Kqualed by
Few and Hurpawed tijr None."
Ex-Judgo Henry M Howland, of New
York, In a famous story teller. In nbun
dnncontul variety Ida collect Ion la "equaled
by few and surpassed by none." Mr. How
land la rMcntlnlly an After dinner atory
teller. He AIM hi after dinner speeches
with new and eke with old.
Hero nro aomonnmphaof hi atorlc!
TIIK DIONITAIIV AN1 TIIK HUM.
Onco there was a very Important ntnto
official of California who thought every
body knew him or ought to know him. Ono
day ho was walking through a Meld wheu a
bull addressed him In nn nndertono mid
mmlo for him with It head down and horns
In a poKltlon to nil ho him. He waw n statu
ofllclal, n man of dignity and political
power and of natnnd oinposlly.
lint ho ran. Ho ran surprisingly well.
Ho ran even better than ho did for oil Ice,
tul ho got tothofencoflrst Huclumlcrcd
over, out of breath nnd dignity, nnd found
the owner of tho bull calmly contemplating
the operation.
"What do yon mean, air," asked tho Irato
ofllclal, "by having nn Infuriated aiilnml
like that roaming over tho flcldf"
"Well, I guess thu bull hat somo right In
the field," said tho fanner.
"Itlghtf Do you know who I am, slrf"
gasped tho ofllclal.
The farmer shook his head.
"I am General Hlank."
"Well, why In thunder didn't you tell tho
bullf"
TIIK MAN AND TIIK TOMATO CAN.
A certain tunn's wlfu lieunl him in tho
adjoining pantry mnklug exploslvo ru
innrkK. "What nro you doing, inydenrr"
alio asked.
"Opening a can of tomatoes," be An
swered. "What nro you opening It wlthf" alio
naked sweetly.
"With n knife," ho replied mvngely.
"Did you supposu I wna opening It with my
teethf"
"No. From tho languago which you
used I thoiiKht you were opening It with
prayer."
A man thick ron conviction.
Conkling had defended a man who wan
on trial for arson. Ho had been convicted
below, and on appeal tho conviction wait
affirmed and Conkling rendered his bill,
which was questioned by tho man's friends.
Conkling was rather now nt tho bar. Ho
called upon Mr. O'Conor. Ho anld: "There
la Johnson, now, whom I defended In a
bard fought trial and argued tho cam on
appeal nt thn general term. To bo suro ho
was convicted, and tho conviction woh af
firmed. But I hud a great deal of trouble,
gavo my beat services in thu matter, nnd I
only charged him 1000, nnd his friends de
cline to pay my bill. Don't you thluk tho
chargo Is reuHonnhlo nnd falrr'
Mr. O'Conor turned In his chair nndaald;
"Well, Conkling, I liavo no doubt that you
did tho best you could. You had a suvero
trial. You exercised your best efforts In the
higher court and tOOO is not a largo bill,
but I havo no doubt he could have been
convicted for n great deal less money."
TIIK LOUD AND TIIK DAISY.
A Sunday school teacher was trying to
Impress upon his pupils tho caro of tho
Deity for all living things, great or small,
and, getting to tho peroration of his ad
dress, ho said: "Tho Ixnd, who made- tho
mountain, niado the little blade of grass.
The Lord, who made the1 ocean, niado the
pebblo on tho shore. The Lord, who mmlo
me, made a daisy."
tiik BAOAciotm nor.
You never can catch a Yankee boy. You
never can corner him. A gentleman trav
eling lu tho country at 8toddard, N. H.,
where It la all rocks and bowlders and
abandoned farms tho old farmhouses go
lug to ruin saw n lwy of twelvo or four
teen hoeing In n cornfield on tho side of
what would be pasture land on anybody
else's farm. The corn was rather poor
looking. Tho traveler reined in his horse
and spoke to the boy. Heisald to him,
"Your corn looks rather smalv"
"Well," sold tho boy, "wo planted dwarf
com."
"Well, It looka yellow, poor nnd thin."
"Well, wo planted yellow corn."
"Well," said tho traveler, "I don't mean
that. It doi.'t look as If you would get
more than half a crop."
"I don't expect to. I planted it on shares."
A DEMAND roll QUICK ACTION.
A man waa working In a field with two
of his sons. Ono of them wna nt work in
ono part of tho field and tho old man, with
tho other, was working down In a marsh.
Allot a sudden tho youth who had boon
with his father ran up to tho other and
cried! "Como down and help tho old man
out Ho baa got mired lu the bog."
"How deep Is ho Inr"
"Up to his ankles."
"Well, there's no hurry."
"Yes, there la. Hu's in head first."
AND 1IK C1IOSK DEATH.
A certain artistic immigrant on arriving
In tho harbor of New York saw tho statue
of Liberty. Heaskcdoneof tho crew, "la
that thoatatuo of Liberty f"
"Yea, that Is Liberty."
"Then give mo death I" and ho plunged
overboard.
TIIK rOWKll or DISCIPLINE.
Tula la historical and Illustrates the devo
tion of Sheridan to Graut,
Sheridan and Grant were traveling on a
steamboat together with other officers.
Among the passcugors was a young Eng
lishman who used to tako a hand nt poker
with them. Tho usual limit was llity
cents. The Eugllshmnu one day wanted
to go out and light n cigar and asked Gen
eral Sheridan to play his baud while ho
was gone. It was four Jacks pat. Tho
EnglUhmnn when hu returned asked Gen
eral Sheridan how It hnd punned out.
"Oh, tho general bet mo fifty cents," sold
Sheridan, "and I called him and won the
pot"
Tho Englishman looked In amazement
"Well," he ald, "I have heard of military
discipline, but I never heard of It going
that far."
Mr. Howland has a knack of hinting at a
story by giving tho point of one, leaving
the hearer to fill out tho rest Somo exam
ples of that follow:
To censorious critics wo reply In the lan
guage of tho old verger of St. Mary's, Ox
ford, who on being congratulated by his
rector on his constant attention to duty
replied, "I have heard every sermon that
has been preached from this pulpit for fifty
years, and, thank God, I am a Christian
till."
The comments and advice of outsiders
we never particularly appreciated, nnd re
mind one of tho toast given at a village
firemen's ball by a crusty old bachelor,
"Our brave firemen may they be llko our
old maids, ever ready, yet novcr wanted."
If I should assumo to Interpose my ideas
I should be like the gentleman who met a
friend and was asked what he had boeu do
ing lately. "Lecturing In Boston," bo re
plied. "I am glad of It," said his friend.
"1 always did hate those Bostonlans."
, We are here present in no vain spirit of
boosting, though if our right to exalt our
selves were questioned wo might reply in
the words of the Americau ghl who was
shown some cannon nt Woolwloh arsenal,
the sergeant In chargo remarking, "You
know wo took mem rroni you at Ilunkci
Hill." "Yea," slio replied, "I sco you'vi
got tho cannon, nut I guess wo'vo got the
hill."
Speaking of a temperance lecture: "It
would have been a great success," said one
of thu princluil workers, "if our chairman
hadn't been so nbseiitininded." "Why,
what did hu dor" "Well, hu tried to blow
the foam off a glass of water."
A small Iray'a beautiful slsti saw him
standing on his head on tho lawn. "I
wouldn't do that If I were you, Jimmy,"
said shoj "I wouldn't." "Wouldn'tf" he
replied; "by Jocks, you couldn't" New
York World.
A (irvut Success.
"I hear you took tho west by storm."
"Well, I should say so. Why, tho first
tlnio I got on n cnhlo car half thu men of
fered their seats, tho other half tried to pay
my fare, thu conductor gavu mo n pass, and
tho tnotormnn camu In nnd proposed to
ma"-Llfo.
Old Tlnio 1'reroolty.
French children of tho last century hnd
no kindergarten schools. Perhaps If they
had hnd them they would hnvo declined to
attend them. Certainly it would hnvo been
a daring teacher who would hnvo recom
mended blocks, pink am) blue kindergarten
papers and tho llko to tho notice of Mllo.
Neckcr, even lu her early Infancy. This
young lady, who nftorwnrd becntun tho fa
mous Mmu. du Stael, composed tragodlua
at tho mature ago of twelvu years.
Tho aristocratic little French girls of tho
period begnn writing their memoirs nt n
tender ago becausu that was tho fashion of
tho time. They were taught elaborate
manners nnd thu nrt of conversation, nnd
nt the ngu of eight or ten years they dressed
and appeared very much llko their moth
ers. Along with soclnl grace they were
also taught how to bu excellent housekeep
ers. Ono may conclude, that Mile. Rnmboutl
let led tho ranks of brllllnut children, since
her remark to an unappreclntlvo elder bo
enmo famous. Tho subject of dolls or play
or some trivial matter of that sort hod been
Introduced for her benefit, nnd alio said:
"Oh, no mntter about that, grnndma.
Let us talk politics. I am seven years old
now." Youth's Companion.
A Few Hull.
A Chicago paper tells of a young man
who had Just returned from Europe and
was showing his friends some photographs.
He came to ono of tho tomb of Juliet, and
after giving an account of it said, "Juliet's
esophagus Is full of cards." This would bo
a dogreo or two worse for poor Juliet than
cold poison, to nay nothing of Its utter Im
possibility at this lato date. Ho wound up
with a glowing talk on Venice and the
"Dratlc" sea. A pious old lndy of my ac
quaintance happened In nt a Christian En
deavor meeting, which is always held be
fore tho regular night church service. Sho
was much Impressed by tho youug ieoplo's
earnestness nnd especially pleased with tho
singing. Shu wild: "Oh, I do lovo to hear
'em alngt Thoy sing with such venoml"
In No Hurry.
Mra. O'F. Con I hnvo my husband put
in Jail fcr slapping mo in tho mouthf
Magistrate Certainly. That is assault
and battery.
"Well, I'll como around lnnboutnmonth
and mako tho charge."
"Why not havo him arrested at once?"
"Well, you seo, when ho slapped mo I hit
him in tho head with a rolllu pin and bo's
now in tho hospital, nnd tho doctors says
ho won't bo nblu to get out for a month
yot" Life's Cnleudar.
And Us Understood.
Mr. Longstop (mnklmt an evening call
By tho way, Miss Quickstep, did you get
anything nlco for a Christmas glftf
Miss Quickstep Indeed I did. I will
show it to you with pleasure. It is on tho
mantelpiece,
Mr. Longstop looks In tho direction in
dicated nnd sees n beautiful clock whose
hands point to 11:30. Chicago Tribune,
Where It Camo From.
Tho Big Sister Tommy, what do you
mean by sniffing nt Mr. Slopay's overcoat?
Tho Llttlo Brother I'th tryln to thmcll
thmoke. When pa thaw it he thald tho
mutht abecn a flro thomewherc. Clothiers'
and Haberdashers' Weekly.
He Wanted Soma Experience.
"Why did you arrest this monf" asked
tho Judge, sternly.
"lor practice," returned tho policeman,
"I'm now on tho forco nnd I wanted to
learn how, your honor." Harper's Bazar.
A I'oet's Fancy.
Wlfo of Ills Bosom What atouchlngdo
acrlption of conjugal bliss you hnvo given
in that last novel of yours, George, dearl I
wonder where on earth you got it froml
Monuigfaltigea.
Her Only Chance.
A. Why does Miss Elderly go on tho ioe
every tltno there is skntlng?
B. Because, that's her only chanco to MO
a man at her feet Texas Sittings.
Worse Still.
She You will have to work hard If yon
win her.
Tho Pjut-I'll have to work harder If I
don't. Life.
1 kjjiuffji
HOW IT CAME THERI.
trhet Her Moiled Collection Amount
to After All.
"Your nniBlol "taste. Miss Quickstep,"
observed tho youug professor, looking over
thu piles of sheet music that lay on tho pi
ano, "Is highly creditable to you."
"I am glad you think so, professor," mur
mured tho youug woman.
"I am sure of It," ha rejoined positively.
"It Is only tho trained musician, whose
tasto has been carefully cultivated, nnd
whoso ear Is attuned to tho diviner hap
monies breathed forth from tho souls of the
great masters, that Is capable of making so
unerring n selection of purely classical mu
slo as this. 'Schubert's Serenado,' " ho con
tinued, looking tho nllo over again nnd
rending thu titles, " 'Hhapsodlo Hongrolse
No. 8,' 'Selections from Chopin' "
"I do ho love Shopnng," Interrupted Miu
Quickstep softly.
"He Is mlorabla 'Gums from Mendols
oIiii'h Songs Without Words, 'Beethoven's
Symphony In A Minor,1 'Arias from Oluck'u
Iphlgeulu on Taurldo,' 'Bach's Variations,
from Vom Hlmmcl I loch' by tho way,
havo you heard d'Albert In"
"Doll bare Is wonderful, wonderfull"
"Um yes. In tunny things ho Is Indeed
admirable. Hero, I sue, are somo rare selec
tions from Handel's 'Ulunldo,' from
Haydn's 'Dlo Jnhruszclten,' 'Gems from
Gratlli,' 'Beauties of Judas Maccabeus'
everything classical purely classical I And
yet I must not linger too long in mere an
ticipation. You will favor me, I am sure,
MIsh Quickstep, with something from"
"Oh, professorl"
"I shall not presumo to dictate your
choice. Your own exquisite tasto, I nin
persunded, will guide you fur bettor In the
selection of"
"Professor, I I don't piny."
"You do not playl Do I understand you
aright, Miss Quickstep'"
"Indeed you do. I can't play a note.
Tills Is a lot of music I got at the recom
mendation of n friend."
"You astound mel Then this this re
markublo collection Is pardon mo Is Is
merely a"
"You are right professor," said Miss
Quickstep, drumming carelessly on the
tablo with her Angora, "It's merely a bluff."
Chicago Tribune.
The let Poodle and the Uloodhoand.
L
Fltegende Blatter.
Ileal Cause of HU Grief.
"Yes, I dabbled in futures onco," sold the
man in thu mackintosh reflectively.
"Whentf" Inquired tho man who had his
feet on the table.
"No. And it wasn't corn or oats or bar
ley or mess pork or potatoes or chips or
whetstones. It was broom corn. I thought
there was money In broom corn."
"Put much money tu It?" asked the man
in tho shaggy ulster.
"More money than Judgment," sighed the
man in tho mackintosh gloomily.
"How much did you losof"
"I lost tAO.000 I had hoped to moke out of
tho deal."
"Was that aW"
"All? No. I Iwt 118,000 1 had borrowed
from friends"
"Have thoy got it yetr"
"And that wasn't alll" groaned tho man
in the mackintosh, unheeding the Interrup
tion and wiping his eye furtively with tho
corner of his handkerchief; "I lost fo7.03 of
my own monoyl" Chicago Tribuue,
Crushed Hope.
"And what answer do you make to my
appeal f" he asked iu hu knelt nt her feet
"James, I will be frank with you," sho
murmured.
"Oh, speak," bu Implored, "and relievo
me from this agony of suspense."
"Then let me tell you It cannot be,"
"Why or Oh, why notr"
"Because, James, I do not feel able to
support a husband." Texas Sifting
All Settled.
Llttlo Johnnie 1 guess sts has accepted
Mr. Newcomer.
Little Sister Why f
Littlu Johnnie He hitsu'l given me any
candy for a week, and yiwterduy he klckul
tho dog. Good News.
Ju.t the Thing.
Clara Don't jou think thW cloak U ton
longf
Maude Oh, no You want it to cover u(
your feet, don't ou.-1 . ,u l,iiw
v'Ha
XL
nt
IT.
Established 186S.
For
Pure Ice Cream and
i
Delicious Fresh Oysters !
The Bon Ton
Telephone 40T. 12 02 P Street.
Geo. Meicfgirleirie, Propr,
BHKERY & GONFCTIONeRYS
Cofleo and Light
Sewing machine and Gun Repairing
We have just employed a skillful workman from the East, who Is fully competent
to make all repair In the above line T. J. THORP &. CO.,
Ho South Eleventh street
HEEEflEEEMBtw Ufhce, I OOI O
HBHJEEEEEflEEj kaflEETBVBBBMaata .BaememesZL.BaaftaYaaaaaaasBMBk
Moving Household Goods and Pianos
a Specialty.
Noncbut experienced men employed. Latest devices tor mtvlng Mi cli!nerr,.Bnfcn and
othor Heavy Articles.
DUCKSTAFF BROS.'
HARNESS
Wholesale Dealers In HADDLK8
Vitrified Brick and all Kinds
Offlcee-TM
&-& .rtfcJtfj&jr vft-rir itjAt
i tl.:
lRVinE'5-ORCutSM
After ten year of active work with the Muilcal Union Oreheitra,
of Omaha, a Director, during which time the above Orchettra rur
n!hed mmlo for all the promlnenlevenU.roclcally, theatrically, etc,
I haveloeated In Lincoln to entftie personally In oicheetra buifnes.
r.allnvnnnnilnnt Hint I pan furnish tha but at miulfl at anv and all
H time. For torms and Information, call at office of UAriTAl. Clr
C'ouhikii, I13IO street, or call up telephone 263. iC.
HAVING just assumed personal control of my handsome new Btnbles, It wilt be
my aim to conduct a first-cln. establishment, giving beet of care and attention to
horses entrusted to our keeping.
STYLISH CARRIAGES.
Single or double, and a fine line of well-trained horses for livery use,'fur
nlshcd, day or night.
DAVE FITZGERALD, Prop.
FRANK RAMSEY, Foreman.
Stables 1639
Telephone 225
ssOTfsHlafESalllwtfsmV
FULL SET OE TEETH $5,
TEETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT PAIN.
NO CHLOROFORM! NO ETHER I NO GAS I
All Filling! at
Dr. H. K. KBRMAN,
Surgeon Dentist, Rooms 94, 95 and 06, Burr Ilk.
1134 O Street.
Ll.Ii AT-
Lunches at all Hours
Telephone 176.
Office, 1 00 1
St.
MANUFACTURING GO.
-Manufacturer of-
AND COLLARS.
and Manufacturer of -
M-
of Straw and Wrapping Paper.
to 744 O street.
,s4uttj4u4u4c - s9z..x4i - xto - rr.sfx9r.iM
MUMO
re ooMOiarra
aiotcrioMe
DAHOtS,ITO
Finest in the City
THE NEW
LINCOLN
STABLES.
Telephone 550
and 1641 O Street.
Oanon'Oity
Bock Springs
Vulcan
Mendota
Scranton
Anthracite
Lowest Rates.