CAPITAL LlTY COUKIKK, SA'IUKPAV, OCTOBER S, iy2
ATTHETABERNACIil
DR. TAUMAQE ON THE NEED Of
INCREASED CHRISTIAN ACTIVITY
rithernicu Were Cho.cn llerniiao Tlioy
Were Mrnvit hiiiI lliirdj Tim lloiiinl.
loss firm of !.nl Word Do Not Hug
the Btinrn, lint Null Out lloldly.
IltlOoiaVK, Oct. & Slneo lib, return from
Kurope Dr. TiIiiiiiku hut fneed uudlt-neeH
unusually Inro ami fiitliuxlimtlc, who lire
nltrnctcd to tint Tiihurimclu no less by tlir
txitent ehxi.'K-neu of the preacher tliitn
through ii ili'Hlru to lu-nr from hit own llp
the tncniiiKo of thitnkH liitriiHtcd to him b
the cznr to tho contributors of Tin- Chrlt
tlnn Herald fiunlno carno, which lientnl
Mr. Klopsch convejed to Kttfdii In the
BtiiitniT Leo. It U understood tlmt Dr.
TiilninKo hns In preparation u full account
of thu inMon to Ituiedn, us well of bin
own preacliliiK.tour to Germany, KiikIiiihI.
Scotlnnd nnd Ireland. Tho text tills morn
InK was taken (mm Luke v, 4, "Launch
out Into thu deep."
Christ, startliiK on thu campalKU of the
world's compiest, was selecting bin stair
ofllccrs. There weru plenty of students
with high foreheads, and whltu hands, and
Intullectual faces, and rellned tastes In
Homo and In Jerusalem. Christ might
havo callisl into thu apostleshlp twelve
bookvorms, or twelve rhetoricians, or
twelve artists. Instead ho takes a (roup
of men who had never made, a speech; never
taken n lesson In belles-lettres; never been
sick enough to make them look delicate
their hands broad, clumsy and lianl
knuckled. He chose fishermen, amotiK
other reasons, I think, because they were
plijslcally hardy. KovvIiik makes strong
arms and stout chests. Much clImbliiK of
ratlines makes one's head steady. A Guli
lee tempest wrestled men Into gymnasts.
Tho opening work of thu church was
rough work. Chrlstdld not want twelve In
valida hanging about him, complaining all
thu tlmo how badly they felt. Hu leaves
thu delicate students at Jerusalem and
Home for their motherland aunts to take
enro of, and goes down to thu seashoru and
out of tho toughest material makes an
apostleshlp. The ministry need moru cor
poreal vigor than any other class. Fine
minds and good intentions are important,
but there must be physical force to back
them. Thu intellectual mill wheel may I it
well built and the grist good, but there
must bo enough blood In the mill race to
turn the one aud to grind the other.
TIIK APOSTOLICAL FISIIKRMAN.
He chose fishermen also hccaUM) they
were used to hard knocks. Thu man who
cannot stand assault Is not fit for thu mill
Istry. It always has been and always will
be rough work, and tho man who, at every
censure or cifrlcature, sits down to cry
had better be at some other work. It Is no
placo for ecclesiastical doll babies. A man
who cannot preach because he has for
gotten his manuscript or lost his spec
tacles ought not to preach at all. Heaven
deliver the church from a ministry that
preach In kid gloves aud from sermons lt
black morocco covers! These fishermen
weru rough and ready. They had been in
tho severest of all colleges.
When they were knocked over t.y the
main boom of the ship they entered the
Sophomore, when washed off by a great
wave they entered the Junior; when
floating for two days w ithout food or drink
on a plank they came to the Senior, and
when at last their ship dashed on the beach
In a midnight hurricane they graduated
with the first honor.
My text finds Jesus on shipboard with
one of these l.roned men Simon byname.
Tills fisherman had been sweeping Ills net
In shoal water. "Push out," says Christ
"What Is the use of hugging thu shore ii
this boat? Ileie Is a lake twelve mile-"
long and six wide, and It Is all populated
Just waiting for the sweep of your net
Launch out it Into tliu deep."
The advice that my Lord gave to Simon
Is as appropriate for us all Ina.splilin.il
senso. Thu fact is that most of us ale jiil
paddling along thu shore. We aru afraid
to venture out into thu great deeps of 0 d
and Christian experience. Wo think that
the boat will bo upset, or that wu cannot
"clew down the mlzzen topsail," and our
cowardice makes up poor fishermen. I
think I hoar the voice of Christ command
Ing us, as he did Simon on that day when
bright Galilee, set in among thu green
hlllsof Palestine, like water flashing in an
emerald cup, "Launch out into tho deep."
DKK1' bTUllV OK TIIK llllll.K.
Thin divinu counsel comes first to all
thoe who arc puddling In thu margin of
Hlblu research. My father read thu HI lib
through three times after he was eight
years of age, and without spectacles not
for the meru purpose of saying lie had bun
through it so often, but for his eternal
profit. John Colby, the brother-in-law ol
Daniel Webster, learned to read after he
was eighty-four years of age, In order that
he might become acquainted with the
Scriptures. There Is no book In thu world
that demands so much of our attention li
the niblc. Yet nluu-tenths of ourChri
tlnn men get no moru than ankle dc
They think it is a good sign not to ventuit
too far. They never ask how or w by, and
If thuy see some Christian becoming In
qulsitlve about thu deep things of (Jul
they say, "Hu careful, you had better not
go out so far from shore."
My answer is: Thu farther you go fiom
shore tho better, If you have tiro right kind
of ship. If you have mere vvorltll phi
losophy for thu hulk and prldu for asiui
and self conceit for tho helm, the (list
Miiall will destroy you. Hut if you taki
the llllile for your craft thu farther on go
thu better, and after you have gone ten
thousand furlongs Christ Mill still mm
munil, "Launch out Into thu deep" ,
-omo such question as, "Who is (jod
and goon for ten years nsklng It. Ask h
at the gatu of every parable; amid the
excitement of every miracle; by the s-illta
linebHflf every patilarchal thrashing Door,
amid thu white faces of Sennacherib's
slain turned up Into tho moonlight; amid !
thu flying chariots of thu Golden City. I
Ask who Jesus Is, and keep on asking It
of every Ilible Illy, of every raven, of ever
star, of every eraed brain cuied, of evcij
blind man lome tosuullght, of ever com
in a fish's mouth, of every loaf that got to
lie live loaves, of every wrathful sea pael I
fled, of every pulseless arm slretelud fnit.li
in gratulatlon; ak it of his mother, of
Augustus, of Heiod, of thu Syiophumicl.-vu
woman, of the damsel that woke up from
thu death sleep, of Joseph who had him
nulled, of thu angel posted as sentinel at
his tomb, of the dumb earth that shook
nudgioautd and thundered when lie died
A missionary in l-'iancu otlered a Hibh
in an huniblu dwelling. Thu man took it, I
tore nut a iloren pages, and with them he I
gan to light his pipe. Some )eais after
thu missionary happened in ihusamu house
Thu family hud Just lost their son In the
Crimean war, and his Hlblu had been sent
home. Tin niNslnuary tool; it up mid niv
that it was the very sauiu llllile Unit he
had left In thu house, aud fiom which tho
leaves had Ihvii torn '(he d Ing sol'
had written on one of the leaves of t
Hlblc, "llejected and scoffed nt, lint final v
believed In and saved." Thulllble ma In
Used tollght tho plpu of witticism iv some
but for us It Is a staff In life, a pillow It
death and our Jo for eternity,
AN INKXIIAU81IUU: Hlt'NTAlN.
Walk up and down this Hlblo domain
Try e cry path. Plunge In at Ihu tirophe
cles and rnuie out at tho epistles. (Jo
with the pitrlarchs until you nice! the
evangelists, Kummagu and ransack, an
children who aru not satisfied when the
come ton now house until they know what
Is In every room and Into what every door
opens. Open every Jewel casket. Kxainlnu
thu skylights. Forever bo asking quo
tlons. Put to a higher use than was In
tended the oriental proveib, "Hold all the
sklrtsof thy maiitluextended when heaven
Is raining gold,"
Passing from Houii to (.'oblcnt. on the
Itliluu thu scenery is comparatively tonic
Hill from Coblcnt. to Mncucu It Is eu
chanting. You sit on deck and feel as if
this last flash of beauty must exhaust the
scene; but tu a moment theru Is a turn of
thu river which covers up tho former view
with moru luxuriant vineyards, and
more defiant castles, and bolder bluffs,
vino wreathed, and grapes so ripe
that If the hills ho touched they would
bleed their rich llfu away Into tho bowh
I of Illngeii and llockheliuer. Hero and
Hieru then are streams of water melting
Into tho rivet, like smaller Joys swallowed
In thu bosom of a great gladness
And when night begins to throw Its
black mantle over thu shoulder of the
hills, and you aru appioaching dlsein
j barkatlon at Maycnco, thu lights along the
shorn fairly bewitch tho sceno with their
I beauty, giving one a thrill that hu feels
I but once, yet that lasts him forever. So
this river of God's Woid Is not a straight
stream, but a winding splendor at every
j turn new wonders to attract, still rlM-r
! vintage pressing to the brink, and crowded
with castles of strength (Stolrctifuls nuil
, Jnhiinnisherger as nothing compared with
, tho strong tower into which tho righteous
run and aru saved), and our disembarka
tlnn at last, In the evening, amid the
I lights that gleam fiom thu shore of
! heaven. Tho trouble Is that thu vast ma
jority of Hlble voyages stop at Coblentr..
where thu chief glories begin.
Thu sea of God's Word is not like Gen
j nesarct, twelvo miles by six, hut hound
less, and In nno direction you can sail on
foiuver. Why then confine yourself ton
short psalm or to a few verses of thu
i cplstluf The largest fish aru not near thu
j shoru. Hoist all sail to thu winds of
heaven. Take hold of both oars and pull
away. Hu like some of tho whalers that
went out from New Ik-dford or Ports
mouth to lie gonu for two or three years.
lea, calculatuon a lifetime voyage. You
do not want to laud until you land In
hpflVPIl K.lll nil-ill Ci l.i iiinrliuiisi fix
I ---.. "-J w ;u ..i... in. i -., ...I
eternity! Launch out into thu deep!
Thu text is appropriate to all Christians
j of shallow experience. Doubts and fears
lm vo In our day been almost elected to the
parliament of Christian graces. Somu con
shier It a bad sign not to I ivu any doubts.
Doubts and fears aru not signs of health,
but festers and carbuncles. You havo a
valuable hoitsu or farm. It Is suggested
that the title Is not good. You employ
counsel. You have the deeds examined
You search thu record for mortgages, Judg
inents and liens. You aru not satisfied un
til you have a certificate, signed bv the
great seal of thu state, assuring you that
the title is good. Yet how many leave
1 their title to heaven an undecided matter!
Why do you not go to the records and find
outf Give oursolf no rest, day or night,
i until you can read your title clear to man
sions in tho skies.
Ni:i:il OF IIIIIISTIAN lil.Vr.l.OI'MI.XT.
Chrlktian cliiuacter is to come up to
higher standards. We havu now to hunt
through our library to find one Hubert
M'Choiie, or one IMward Payson, or one
! Harlan Page. Tho time will come when
wu will find half a do.en of them sitting In
thu sainu seat with us. Thu grace of God
can uiakti a gie.it deal better men than
those I have mentioned. Christians seem
afraid they will get heterodox by going too
' tar. They no not believe lu Christian per-
fectlon. There Is no danger of your being
.perfect, for somu time yet. I will keep
I watch, and give you notice in time if oti
get too near perfection for the safety of
your theology.
I One-half of vou Christians aru slmolv
stuck In the mud. Why not cut loose from
everything but Godf G.vu not to him that
formal petition nmdu up of "O's" "O
Lord" tills and "O Lord" that. When
people aiu cold and have nothing to say to
God thuy struw their prayers with "O's"
and "Foroveraid ever, Amen," aud tilings
to fill up. Tell God what you want with
thu feeling that he Is ready to give It, and
bellevu that you will lccelve, and you shall
havu it. Shed that old prayer you have
been making these tun jears. It is high
time that ou outgrew It. Thiow It aside
with your old ledgers, and jour old h.its,
aud your old shoes. Take a review of
your pnsent wants, of jour present sins
and of your present blessings. With n
sharp blade cut away your past half and
half Christian life, and with new dttouiii
iiitlon, and new plans, anil now expects
tlons launch out into t he deep.
The text is appropriate to all who are
engaged in Chilstlon work. The church
of God has been fishing along tho shore
Wu set our net in a good, calm placo and
In sight of a fine chapel, and we go down
every Sunilny to see If thu fish havu been
wise enough .to come into our net. Wo
might learn something from that boy with
his hook aud line. Hu throws his line
from thu bridge no fish. Hu sits down on
n log no fish. Ho stands In thu sunlight
and casts the line, but no fish. He gis-s
up by thu mill dam and stands behind tin
bank, where the fish cannot see him, and
he has hardl drnppid the hook befoiothu
cork goes under. The fish i nun- to him as
fast as lie cm throw t..em ashoie.
In other words, in our Chilstlan work,
why do wo not go where the IMi are It
Is not mh'Hi) to calch souls in church, for
they know that wo aio trlng to take
them. If von i an throw your lino out ii to
thewoild where they aio not expecting
you, the will be captured. Is It fair to
take men by Mich stiatagem? Yes. 1
would like to cheat flvu t-hnusaiid souls
into tin kingdom
cmtisri vss MfhT worn;
Thu whole pub of ihu church of God Is
to hu changed Instead of chiefly looking
after the few who have become Christians
our chief elloitswlll lie for thnsu outside
If after a man Is ((inverted he cannot taku
cine of himself I am not going to take can
of him If he thinks that I it lit going to
stand and put him on tin-biick, and fiedhlm
out of an tlc'itul spoon, ami watch him
so that he dues mil gi t into a drafl o.'
vvorltlllness, lie is much mistaken. We
havu in our chinches a great mass of help
less, Inane professors, who inclining noili
lug for themselves or fortitheis, who want
Us to stop and uuifttt them. They are mi
tumbled with doubt as to whether tin
me Chilstians or not. Tho doubt is '
tied. Tliey atv not Christians. The In -wiicaii
do vvltti thi-Mi fish Is lotlnow tin in
back Into thr stream and go after tliein
again with the Gospel net.
"Go Into all the world and preach the
Gospel," says Christ Into the factory, the
engine hous. the cluhriMinij Into thu
houses of the sick; Into thu dark lane; Into
tho damp cellar; Into the cold garret; lot')
the dismal prison. Let eveiy man. woman
nuil child know that Jesus diet', and that
the gate of heaven Is wide open. Willi
the Ilible lu ouu pocket, and thn h)mn
hook In another pocket, and a loaf of hi end
auder our arm, launch out Into thu great
deep of this world's wietcheduess,
The text Is appropriate to all the unfor
itlven. I'.very sinner would come to God
If hu thought that hu might come Just as
hu Is. People talk as though thu pardon
nfOixl were i narrow river, like thu Ken
nebeo or the Thames, and that their sin
draws too much water to enter It. No; It
Is not a river nor a buy, but a sea. I
should like to persuade you to launch out
Into thu great deep of (Sod'a mercy. 1 am a
merchant I have boitghta cargoof spins
In India. I have, through a bill of ex
change, paid for thu w hole cargo. You aru a
ship captain. I give you the miters and
say, "Ilrlng inu thnsu spleis." You bind
In India. You go to the trader and sit,
"Ileru are the orders," anil ou find over
thing all right. You do not stop to pay
thu money yourself It Is not ourblisl
ness to pay It The arrangements were
made before you started. So Christ pur
chases your pardon. Ho puts thu papeis
or tho promlfs Into our band, Is It
wise to stop and say, "I cannot pay for my
redemption" God does not nsk you to
pay Heljing on what has been done,
launch out Into the deep.
tiii: iiiiu.i: (itvra cottitAot:,
Thu Hlhlo's promises Join hands, nml the
clrclu they make will compass all your
sins, and all your temptations, and all
your sorrows. Thu round table of King
Arthur and his knights hail room for only
thirteen banqueters, but the round table
of Gisl's supply Is large enough for all the
present Inhabitants of earth ami heaven to
sit at, and for thu still mightier popula
tlons that aru et to be.
Do not sail coastwise along your old
habits and old sins. Keep clear of the
shore. Go out where the water Is iltcpt st.
Oh, for tho mid sea of G(sl's inercyl "He
it known unto you, men and brethren, that
thioiigh this man Is preached unto (.ti
forgiveness of sins." I pleach it with ns
much confidence to the eighty-year old
transgressor as to thu maiden. Though
your sins weru blood red they shall he
snow white. Thu more ragged thu prod
Igal, thu moru compassionate the father.
Do you say that you aretoolmdf The
high water mark of Gisl's pardon Is higher
than all our transgressions. "The blood
uf Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin."
i Do ou say that your heart is hanlf Sup
pose It were ten times harder. Do you say
that your Iniquity is long continued? Sup
posu It weru ten times longer. Do ou say
' that your crimes aru black)1 Supposu that
they weru ten times blacker, Is there any
lion that this Samson cannot slay?' Is
there any fortress that this Conqueror can
not take? Is there any sin this Itcili cmcr
cannot pardon?
I It is said that when Chailemaiige's host
was ovorpoworul by tint three armies of
tho Saiaieuslu the pass of lloniesvalles,
his vviurior, Hohtnil, lu terrlblu eornest
ness, sebed a trumpet and blew It with
such terrific strength that the opposing
army reeled back with terror, but at the
third blast of tho trumpet It hioko in two.
I sou your soul fiercely assailed by all the
powers of earth and hell. I put I he mightier
trumpet of the Gospel to my lips and I
blow It three times. Hlast thu first
"Whosoever will, let him come." Hlast
tho serond "Seek yo thu Lord while he
may be found." Hlast the third "Now Is
sympathetic dod a loving Otsl and that
more to him than tliu nuthems of heaven;
i moiu to him than thu throne on which he
! sits; moru to him than aio thu temples of
celestial worship Is thu Joy of seeing the
wanderer putting his hand on the dour
latch of his father's house. Hear It, all
yo nations! Ureail for thu worst hunger.
Medicine for the worst sickness. Light
for thu thickest darkness. Hatburfor the
! worst storm.
A WONPKIIKUI. TOVtn.
Dr. Prime, InJils book of wonderful In
terest entitled "Around the World," de
scribes a tomb In India of innrvelousarclil
tecture. Twenty thousand men weru
twenty-two ears In erecting that and the
buildings around It. Stnntllng In that
i tomb, if you speak or sing, after you have
ceased j'ou ueartuu echo coming from a
Iielglit orono hundred and fifty feet
lit of one hundred and fifty feet. Ills
Ike other echoes. Tho sound N drawn
n sweet piolongatlon, as though the
Is of Godweie chanting on Ihu wing.
many souls in the tomb of sin will
not iik
out Ii
angel'
How
lift up the voice of penitence ami prayer?
If now they would crv unto God the echo
would drop from afar not struck fiom the
marble cupola of an earthly mausoleum,
but sounding back fiom thu warm heait
of angels, 11 ing with tho news, for then
Is Joy among the angels of G'tsl over otw
sinner than rcpcutcthl
A Hardworking King.
A newspaper writer, speaking of the
king of Italy, sajs that Humbert is a tire
less worker, and then givos tho following
as the dally routine of that monarch:
"When at Home," says tliu writer, "lie
rises very often before ) and sets to work In
his cabinet. At 7 he eittsa light breakfast,
and then until U busies himself with his
correspondent e. Tills duty iiuomplishetl,
ho makes such calls as the ilia's demands
require, lunches at 1 aud biter receives his
ministers and such otheis as may havu
claims on him. In the afternoon hu drives
out and sometimes goes to tho luces. He
dim tut 7, and this meal, at which tho king
ispieseut toeiitertnln his giitstsaud not
to eat, geneially lasts until half past 0. At
10 tliu king as a rulu goes to the opera,
where he lemains for an hour. At 11 he
goes back lo his cabinet, and until 1, when
ho utiles, Is busy with his afternoon tor-rispondelico."-Harpel's
Young I'tople.
Tim Alpliulii-t III Slngli, S,-iiI,iii ,.
Here are Millie sentences containing the
tilt ll t- alphabet:
.1. Graj-l'.ick my box with five do eo
quills
. Ihidger Thy vixen jumps quick at
fowl,
Tho itliuiiiiil half bleed liunier, after lie
had llretl all j-uvc his last ai low Into a held
of wild cattle without clad, ci ed out:
"(juickl bind asephji, waft my javelin to
ox."
Tho first contains thirty lliieo letters,
the two last thlity two each. If jui no
Hit) closely joii will see that the hist sen
lei.ie kicks a'b,"a fact which stem- to
have been entltuly oveilookul liv 1'iufes
sor Morilson, Its nuthor.-St. Louis
public.
tin. iwif..nt.i tu..... ....... i., i... .i.... .. ....!.... .ii i ' t - . . . f . . . : !
tr..i ' I huh mm wiiH hu i inunit iii Miititiii h)imj)I f iiuvu Mutluriil fiom tin ImKul.iritIeH
li.tUmTrunTK Tw",,nen,ul.,do1,;im,,i;;ia,da,;,-rui
h. .1 trt'f !,rf a short cut ore. thegutss In disregard of looking at the moon and quoting poetry,
.h'wn.'ous'f.luVrh'u ,1 pss ,f :;;; ;:; ; ;:;;:;r ;:,:r; V;:" 1 Vjuik- -
amtdiiri'olinu-wi:;1: 'T;;!o;,:Kn:?"o,ii,rk,nt rrJiacsa
dladluLta.rth.nenUllsr.U;,::; t';"to"'M.n,,t the general's cow.-'-Ar. Tho other turn,., his back upon the
.. ... In HoLTLriMl. r-io'in nftnruiiiil t lu uiliniiul'u ItrMin.i . n ) tilii.utiiilf..ui.. ,t m....i.
" mm in n imi i uwillllK Wll 11
lrtiiiw tlmt .mi- Clru lu . .... .1.,. .!.,.. r.l .. i " maiii in nil-Li', Hint III rilrvlllK IUVJIV ITU Ml I IIU
CHIPPER CHESTNUTS.
MditenauMaln fancy ball, to his putt
nor) Allow me, MNt X , to admin
jour (.harming little feetl Heally, wl at a
plty-aw you haven't four of thorn!
Hlttmctilcfo. Judge Stuffy-. Havo you any visible
means of support? Dusty Hhotles-Ye es;
Iain a professional searcher for work.
Now York Herald.
"I hadn't heard that you'd been III,
Smlthson," "Have though; been pietly
close to death's door." "Is that so?" "Yes;
twodoctorsln tho house at thu samotlmo "
-Llfu.
A St. Johnshury schoolboy Mug asketl
what a stalactite was, teplletl, "A stalac
tite Is whom the water leaks through and
sticks on." St. Johnshury (Vt.) Cnledo
tilati.
For months slid Just doted on rrenni,
Anil nothing so much rejoiced her;
Hut oil lliul now htir fondest drcnm
Is centered aruiiinl tho (i)slor.
Now York livening Hun.
He Yon don't love mo as you did he
fore wo were man led, I don't believe. She
Of course I don't, John. You wouldn't
expect a wouinu to lovo a married man
as sho could a bachelor, would youf
Detroit Pico Press.
A sulleier from a severe cough savs that
his complaint has one of tho modem lm
provuiiiuiitH-u pueumatlo tiro. Lowell I
Courier.
She-It was right here that I accepted
you, John Had joii forgotten? He My
dear, them aru somu things I can neither
forget nor forgive. Hlack anil White
Lucie Nisi made a ringing speech last
night, nioniiner. Moinmur Urn tiuir
Lucie- Yes l asketl mo to bo his wife.
Jewelers' Circular.
A (Ireiit "Honor."
In thu jears of his highest reputation
Daniel Webster was favored with a tlogico
of personal inlulatli.n and "toadying"
which was uotaltngether agreeable to him
It Is related that on olio occasion, w hen a
public reception was given to him at a
hotel lu Huston, a particularly obsequious
old oflleo seeker was Introduced. Thu man
flattered Webster and ground his own a.,
bowing mid scraping until the great man
was tired of him, and bidding him good
day, settled down heavily Into the nearest
chair.
Hut thu man, Instead of passing on and
giving a chaiicu to the next comer, lingt nil
near andstemetl to have sometlilug still
on bis mind, though hu looked very bliss
ful, Webster observed this and said, not
very gotsl natuietlly:
"May I ask joii, sir, If you want any
thing moru of mo?"
"Oh oh, nol" said thu man smirking;
"only perhaps I may bo permitted ton
mark that I am proud to say that my lint,
Is having the Inestimable honor to occupy
the same chair with Daniel Websterl"
Webster had, as a matter of fact, sat
down on the man's tall beaver hat anil
crushed it out of shape. Youth's Com
panlon.
Wlmt lie Kim.
In a seaport town a general aud an ml
ml nil worn neighbors. The general's house
was fronted by a glass plot, on which hu
claimed the right to pasture a cow. One
day Ids wife complained that the supply of
milk was falling short. The sentinel no
cduutid for t liu deficiency by saying that
tliu pasture hail lately beei ich tindiK-u
down by thu public. Theieiii tho mar
tlal despot gave orders that no (human or
other) animal except tho cow should be til
'lowed on tin grass plot, and added iiii-u
were not paitlcular In those (has thai if
Her (Iri-ut I.oic,
Hrlggs How Is I'ctcil.ln getting along
with his wife? Shu seemed rat hern high
spirited girl.
Grlggs-Xotlilng could lie smoother. 1
tell you, old mini, It's a case of genuine
love. That girl Just worships him.
Hrlggs -What makes j on think so?
Griggs -Wh, they havu been married
six mouths, and liotold mo coiifldeutlall)
thu other day that shu still continued to
put his studs in Ids dress shirt. Clothier
and Furnisher.
Wian't Mud.
A visitor to Lancaster asylum n slioit
tlmo since encountered ouu of the lunatic
(who doubtless had been told off forwoik
or some description) pushing a wheellmr
row along one of thu walks wrong side up !
Tho visitor Inquired why ho reversed the
order of tilings In that fashion
"Why, ou stupid, do joii think I'm '
mad?" was the lunatic's reply "If J '
turned thu right sltlti un they'd bo uuttliii;
something into it." Tit-Hits.
A Cilllrlatii.
It must have been a relative of Mrs. I
Partington's who visited a waxwoik exlil-
bitlon some wteks ago, anil who rematktil,
when she saw the waxen elllgy of the dead
Napoleon ljing lu state, "Ain't it wonder
ful? You'll almost think ho was alive. I
declaro I don't see how they manage to get
that llfellku vvaxiness of deatli. "Hiirper'a
Magazine.
l.lf In Hik Siilinrlis.
Mr. Suburb -Haven't you a dog to pro
tect your house fiom tramps? I
Mr. Lawuiuo Yes, (
"Then why do j on walk around every
night with a gun?"
"Oh, I'm not protecting tliu house. I'm
only pnttcctfiig the dog." New York
Weekly.
All Optlrul lllialiin.
sS
. 5 Ik is.
V
- "i!Vk. fr
Trainer (lielnilig Ills man. who llnlslnil
4 JS'f
i rt-S--. ,r,K(-
-r
last, dismount after the ran i What's the
, matter with joii. iinjvvaj, wh'd oii slow
'up so blamed much at the thieequaiter
polu?
I Itaclng .Man -I didn't slow up -tho
athers spin ad Win el
Oh W fining llnr Htinrit,
Thu joung physician was tired when hs
returned from his evening's calls, but as
lie settled back In his easy (hull- and his
pretty wife of only a month or two tool, a
rent beslilu him ho ttsked affectionately!
"And hns in II.. It wife been lonely?"
"Oil, no," slut said animatedly; "at leitt
not very. I've found something to busy
niyM'lf wltli."
"Indeed!" ho said. "What hilt?"
"Oh, I'm organizing a ctass, A lot of
young girls nml married women ate lu II,
mid we're exchanging experiences anil
teaching each other how to cook."
"What tin oil do with the things joll
cook," hu asked Interesledl,
"Oh, vvoiieud them to tho neighbors Just
to show what we can do. Them's one
boarding house gets most of It, It's lols
of fun."
"Dear llltltt woman," ho said, leaning
over and kissing her. "Always thought
fill of your husband's practice, Alwiivr
anxious to extend It." Dotiolt Free Press,
Tim :iiiiilitllon of Aliitrlitiiiiijr,
She I suppose you would have been
happier If you had not married mo?
lie Yes, darling, hut I wouldn't have
uown It. Life.
Hlorlm of l.onl Tiilli-iiiiielm.
I After lauding on thu south coast of Kng
I laud, Lord Tolleiuachu put Ids wifo nuil
children lu a cab and idmself walked lo
, thu station. Stopping suddenly hefoio a
j barber's shop, ho said to tho shopman: "I
like the look of that wig In thu window.
I How long would it taku to shave my
iieau?"
"A quarter of an hour, sir."
"lean glvu joii twenty minutes, and I
hall then havu live minutes to catch the
train." When he Joined his wife nml
children he hail the wig on. This story I
had from my father's own lips; tho other
came to mu less directly, hut I havu no
reason to doubt it. .My grandmother
Lady Kllabeth Tollemachi had a house
In Lontlhii, and another Lady Kllithcih
lived In the next house, which was exni tly
llkult. My father, calling accidentally at
tho wrong door, asked the servant, "Is
Lady Klizahcth at home?"
"Her ladyship receives noboily, sir; she
Is ill In Ih-iI,"
"Stuff and iioiiseiisul Hhu Is my mother."
And rushing past thu astonished ftsit
man hu ran up stairs to what hu supposed
to bu his mother's bedioom. Spectator.
The Inspiration or u Fiuiioii I.Iiih.
Tliu Drawer has very little siupathy, as
a rule, with those who iiuiku light of the
thoughts of great poets, but once lu
awhllo there comes a tlmo when such per
versions are quite excusable. Ono of these
times ocelli red it-cent ly, and tho result
will not prove unpopular with those who
of
senlimentullty of tho moment ejaculated
to Ills vv ire, sitting at bis side:
"Gad! Tlio poet that wrotu that must
have hail a hired girl llkuoursl" Harper's
Maga.lue.
Koutly for mi i:in'rgtnc'.
Young Tutter (nervously) I hopo, Miss
Clara, your young brother won't touch my
iiuw silk hat In thu hall. I hear him play
ing i uere.
j Miss IMiikerly Would joii like to'huve
I mu speak to him about it?
! Tutter Yes; I w Ish you would.
1 Miss IMnkerly-Willie, bring Mr. Tut-
ter's hat into tho pallor aud put It down
by his chair, w hem hu can reach It at any
moment. Clothier and Furnisher.
Why lie Cuiun llnrly.
A'01"" tlttlng down Just as the t
"tl,rtH)7, vwiu1,1 "'I'"
eat.s with me, sir? My baby wants to
0U,t,"f l ' " w "'"' . ,
," M"Vl'" Hartfoni (with sarci
Mother (sitting down Just as the train
nglng
look
sarcastic
politeness) Willi pleasure, madam. I
havu been saving tills scat for him for half
on hour. Life.
Iluril mi the llngt.
First Dog We'll lie tied up every Thurs
day ami Satuidu nights now
.Stcoml Dog What's up?
First Dog That new iliulu that comes to
ueo Miss Suslo has money. Now Yoik
Weekly.
Not
Charlie Maj
i:othtii.ullc.
I auuouiKo our engage-
incut at once?
Clara Xt jet P rhaps hoth of us may
be able to do better. New York Heialtl.
Jft-j a yM1
Xmn
Ki-lli-etliins on I'm-.).
When tli snow fulls In the winter;
When It rails tiHiii (lio niotiiitHlu.
Oil thu li. t minus, in thu MiIU'Jp, ,
Soft mill while mid ml her prett),
Tin ll tho siet slugs the pralsis
Or thi Frost King, with hit inantlu
Minlu or t-rmliie, i:r rn).d.
When thu .u Ing i nuns uml the w milter
Makes the uimiilo soiiiculial ding),
Quito uiitllest) mnl mil so pretty,
1 hen thu hard Is-glus mintlu r
Song of nature light mid uir ,
With a win refrain of w-rduru
And tho breaking tit the slutckh
Tlmt thu Front King ftirgul anil ut-Uled-Tlirtt
which used to bu the mmille.
In thu hummer ho is full or
(iiih iilmul thu liliHinilngd.tl.il
Ai "Oiiiu other things mid nothing
i h would takoa might) toluiuu
Jim to mention In (lulr order.
Then In autumn ho htsomea a
Devotte or Mulling Ores,
IK (III ates his pi ii to singing,
Ills new fmiiituiii n to singing
Hongs nf hoisting lilus uml harvista;
Mitkistho t mu grow on thu umuhhtuil
Ami Mime other things us doubtful.
For )inir sni Uu ilmul).
Fmts have nevir )tl disturbed him;
Nothing si ares him, nothing stops him;
He Is tin re at mi) angle:
Till his Ink runs mil he'll go ll
Up one side mid don n the other.
Nell her Ibis nor brakes are mi him;
He's a i ) i lone, that's u hitl he K
Ami he disMi't (ale who knows ll.
Dt trult Tribune.
I
HDIES
Will be Interested
lu ileum thai a new process lias linen Invent
d forromoviiiK llloteln . I'leeldes, etc , from
Mm fiii'e, lenvliiK tho skin clear ami benutiriil,
II Isilonn hy the
New Steam Process I
lust liilrniluee.l liy Mis,. I (', Hell, and Is pro
vIiikii iilg success ami very popular. All tin
litest elltelnlu
Hair Goods, Ornaments
Hilda full lino of most iippioved Cosmrllr
niiiv also lm iminil I lien-.
Ifiilr HiessliiK nml Manicuring ilouti on
lioit uollteitml lu the very latest stjles.
MRS. J. C. BELL,
I 14 North 14th at-
DK HKNKV A. MARTIN'S
Medical Institute
roil tiii: i'imi: of
Chronic Diseases
SPECIALTIES:
Diseases of Women,
Ciitsu I'll,
Morphine and Opium Habits.
CurcOiiiiranlccd. CoiiMiltiillon Free.
Olllces, 141 South 12th Street
rillllT ADDITION TO
NORMAL
The moit bountiful luburbnn prop- '
rly now on ilia market. Only
three tiiook from tho ImntUome I .In
oln Normal Unlverilty ami but
three blnolc from Ilia proposed
lecttlo railway. Throe lots are now
being pluord en the market at
liceedlogly Low Prices and Easy Terms
For plat, terma and information, call on
If. W. FOLSOM, TRUSTEE,
Inauranoe. Ileal Katate and Loan Broker
m M, Newman Illock, 1030 O Hire
PAST MAIL R0DTE1
2 DAILY TRAINS 2
-TO-
Atchlson, Leavenworth, St. Joepli,Kamta
City, St. Louis and all Point South.
Kant and West.
The direct line to Ft. Scott, Paraons,
Wichita, Hutchinson and all principal
polnti In Kansas.
The only road to the Great Hot Spring,
of Arkansas. Pullman Sleepers una Fret
Reclining Chair Cats on all trains.
I.E. R.MILLAR, R. P. B. MILLIR,
Cltjr Ticket Agt. Gsn'l tut
XII33
"LADIES'- PERFECT
'ihu only I'erreet Vnl oil
srlni;e In tliu World
Ik tho mil., "yrliiKu cv-r
luvi-iitid hy which vitul ,
IllJeetltillH eiin bo nduilliK
lereil v Ithout leiiklm; it I
Milling Iheelotlitnir. or n. .
eiHoltitniu; tint il-eof n M -eel,
mnl which run nUo It-
tint it Tor icclitl InJi'CtloiH.
OKT ItUIIIIKIt llui.u,
II Villi ItUIIIIKIt IlKl.l.
PRICE, $3.00
ny-Miill OrdiTM Solicit,, I.
The Abe & Penfold Co,
IGth ST,
"-nt to I'oittoltlce,
OMMI . Ni:ltA.SK..
v I u A.M
Uvmvmhvv ifiut tir
hot nmtf to Chicayit from fAncolt
(tliriiiiffh Omaha) is
via tho ltovlc ItJaiul."
The Din lay Cam art) all
now and olouant; tho
fcrvlro ovoribol knows
Is tho lwtt In
tho Vnltod Statos.
Have nowor and bvttvr Sleejer.
handsomo Dun Coachos,
host llvvUninu Chair Cars,
and tho train is now and the
handsomest that runs from
Lincoln to Chicago (via Omaha.
If oil want to bo
convinced of this fact,
comparo It with other
o-callcd Jlrst-class lines.
Tickets for salo ft
CI1AS. j: utiekkfokd,
Citu Passenucr Aaent,
In the Holt I Lincoln."