CAPITAL CITY CCHTK1EK SATURDAY OCTOBER 8, 1892
COflN ON THE COB.
They
Vrr Not No lluncry
u Thvj
Tlionulit Tliey V !.
It wasn't their fault at all. The head
wnlter put tlu'iu lit tlin most conspicuous
Cnlilu In tln iIIiiIiik iimhii, A sinister fate
Impelled t hem to order green corn on the
cob.
Tho woman vm obviously constrained,
film lnnl n peachy complexion and blushes
chased acrom lar fair cheeks like clomlii
In an April sky.
Tim limn was seared to death.
"Would J 1111 llke-cr-somu green corn on
tlio wilif" hi) Iniulri'd, trying to lio casual.
"Yi-s, thank joii," she, demurely replied.
"Green com for lioth."
In tin liistanl there came u sharp forho.
lug of trou lilc and sorrow. Hut It was too
late. AxhilHUr fate wan hurrying them
onward to their dnnui.
"Lovely d ml 111; room."
"Heautlful."
Their lips mocked their hearts. Their
thoughts, fur removed from commoner ob
JpctH, were centered upon two small dishes,
each containing n Hpeclmeii of green corn
Upon tliu cob.
"What u nice"
With neon rage, born of desperation tho
man hud speared Ills car of corn with a
fork.
"day this Is, to bo sure."
"Delightful."
Their mouths spoko words of hypocrisy.
When his hand had traveled half tho dis
tance from the table to his mouth hlscotir
Kgo forsook It I in. Ho restored his speci
men of green com to Its dish.
"Pretty swell peoplu here."
"Awfully swell."
They were both very much agitated.
Her blushes were practically Incessant.
His brow glistened with perspiration.
"I'd like"
Tho woman became suddenly nggrtwslvs
and Rcl.ed her ear of corn with her hand.
"to llvu here."
"So'd I."
Her sweet lips were about to open when
her heart failed her. Shu dropped hor
specimen upon her plato.
"John, I wonder"
Bho was trembling ni she whispered!
"how others eat It."
"I don't"
Ho had lost all his look of nssuranco nnd
looked about In an agony of apprehension.
"know, .Mollle."
They waited In silence for n moment.
"John."
"Mollle."
"I ain't a bit hungry."
"Neither am I."
They left their dinner untasted. He
tried to meet the stareof the world boldly.
She bent her glance upon tho ground and
trembled. Detroit Tribune.
Tho 1'rlilo of Her Mother's llrnrt.
"Do I not always try my best to gratify
your reasoiiAblu tastes nnd ambitions, my
datighterr"
There was no reply, and thu mother re
sumed gently:
"If I were wealthy, .Marie, I would spare
no expense to provide you with all that
heart could wish. Hut there is a limit to
my power to do so. I can only exercise my
best taste and judgment in thu selection of
such things as you may require for your
personal apparel, and if they do not al
ways please you, remember, Marie, that
there are treasures of mind and heart
that mny lie yours If you seek for them
with earnest purpose, and they far out
weigh the ephemeral trllles of oiir'h out
ward adornment."
"That's all true enough, mother," an
swered the proud young girl, "but I look
like a sardine In that hat." Chicago Trib
une. That Kind of Silk.
Bho was a sweet young thing nut on a
bopping expedition matching samples
and strayed Innocently Into the wrong fold
a big crockery store.
At first she lookod around iippeallugly:
then shi) approached the proprietor:
"Can you match this sample of sllkf"
she asked, holding up a wretched little
dog eared shred between her thumb and
floger.
"My dear young lady," said thu suave
proprietor, "this Is not a dry goods em
porium. It is a china store."
"Well, this is China silk," said the sweet
girl as shu dangled her sample on her
finger.
Hut the proprietor had fainted. Detroit
Free Press
lluril on Him,
"Darling," he murmured passionately,
"when I coino at night, tired and cross,
with one leg of my trousers trailing in thu
dust and the other under my ear, tell me,
will you get right down on your knees and
sew on the button f"
"I will, (Jeoru'e," she answered firmly,
"upon one condition."
"And what Isthulr" he asked.
"That," she replied dreamily, with her
teeth firmly set together, "is on condition
that you have saved that button." Cloth
ier and Furnisher.
The Unite!
"Doctor, what is I he meaning of the pe
culiar formation JiM behind n baby's car"
asked a fond mother.
"Combat Iveness, perhaps, madam," re
plied the doctor.
"Why, some one said it was love of tic
mestle life," said thu mother.
"Oh, well, il's all one and the sium.'
thing!" replied thu cynical medical mull.
Drake's Muuu.iue.
Aeroiiiuioil ntlug;.
Hu presseil thu uml nnil tlio huttiti dl'l
tliu rest. I. lie.
Her Sensation.
MIhh Sevi'iileen And mi you are mill -rlcil
ut last, ilear, afler all these yeiirsf
How new II 111111 seeinl Didn't you feel
fiiiliiirrassed a III lie while the eereinony
Was lieinti lierfonnedl1
Mr. TliliiyelKlil (faintly) No. dear,
not cinharr.isM'il, only just relieved. Soin
vrvillu .linn nil.
('niiHiilliit;,
.It-Kter Thelf Is one tlilliK that can In
wild In favor of .I0I1V Illness. lliMMisn't
cuillllied In the Iiiium'.
Qiii'stei- Mow do you know he wasn't
0011 (111 I'd to the house)1
Jester lli'tiiusu thu it-cord snyti liu wwi
coiilluuiilly btiiuklauout.-Ilostuii Coiuiei.
Tint Culprit Cnnfrsspit.
It was In n country school, A small,
bright Ikiv had Just been enrolled, nnd this
WM his tlrst ilny. The llttlo fellow had n
habit of whistling when ho was tint think
lug nltout It. The teacher pointed out a
desk for him and gave him a lesson to be
ntudylug. He took his seat, propped his
kiieut up against the desk, with his feet
winging down underneath and became
absorbed In his lesson. After awhile he
forgot about his lesson and began wills
tllng merrily. The teacher looked up from
his writing and askedi
"Who's that whistling"
The small hoy looked up quickly and
then said Innocently;
"That's me. Didn't you know 1 could
whlstlef" Detroit Krco Press.
A New Put lent.
Hippopotamus Amphibious Doctor,
can't you recommend something to reduce
corpulence f I am or rather I havu a
friend who Is uncomfortably stout, and it
struck nil) that we might confer on this
matter to er mutual advantage per
haps. Harper's Haar.
I'lissloii mill I'lintn.
Onu of the most fascinating clubmen In
town, who has a great big weakness for
thu fair sex and who delights In copying
sentimental verses Into their albums, met
with a blood curdling check thu other day.
Hu was seated besldu'ii lovely girl, who
lent a coral and an attentive ear to all his
burning words. Ordinary language was
Inadequate to express his emotion, so lie
scribbled on a slip of paper taken at ran
dom from his pocketbook:
Oh, iliirllnt,. I hearken thy heart bents,
Art thou listening, sweet one, unto minis?
I love, thee, I love thee, 1 lovo theul
You lire up my pulses like wlno.
Thu foregoing may not bu strictly cor
rcct, but thu verses were of that character
extremely warm and correspondingly
boshy. The poor sweet girl took them
with a tear in her eye, and with a glance
of InelTable tenderness at her adorer con
cealed them In the folds of her dress. The
next morning, in the cold, gray, realistic
light, thu clubman got a letter. It was
brief, but to the point. It said, "When
next you writu sentimental verses to me,
please do not let your lomaiitlc nature
make you careless." And thuunfortuuiite
man read on the obvcr.su of thu scrap where
ho hud indited his soul thrilling Hues:
"Mr. , Dr. To cleaning and repair
ing six pairs of pants, six dollars." And
worse still, tho bill was unreceipted. Kven
Ovid, immortal bard of love, would have
tho vim knocked out of him by such a con
tictcmps. Sail Francisco News-Letter.
Lire's lllful 1 1 ay I'evcr.
"I thought you knew better than to say
'hml saw.' "
"I do, sir."
"Didn't I hear you say it just now;"
"Hardlyl"
"1 surely did."
"Where?"
"Here. Not a minute ngo."
"I said hudsawr'"
"You did."
"Pshaw!"
"Do you deny It?"
"Of coursu I do."
"Confound you, don't you suppoo I
know when I hear 11 man sny Mind saw?' "
"Codfoudd you, cad't you tell whed a
bud's got a cold Id Ids head? I wii-i talk
Igg about a haddsaw, blabu youl" Chi
cago Tribune.
IteiiBonalile.
It is a tiresome tiling to thu young, their
elilers milMt. confess, to lilt tolil nften tlint
thu lust generation read hotter books and
knew much more at the same ugu than the
present generation.
A boy of thirteen in a public grammar
school was ropi ouclicd by his master for
his slowness.
"When 1 was thirteen," said thu mas
ter, "I was at least two years further utl
vauced than you are. How tin you ae
' count for that?"
"I've heard my father say," replied the
boy a little dlllldeiitly, "that they used to
havu a great deal better teachers than they
have nowadays!" Youth's Companion.
I'reiiut-il lo Ilex-lie.
Willie's Mother Your hair Is wet, Wil
Hum. Where have you been?
Willie In thu pond, iiiauima. I jumped
In to rescue little Tommy Squeers from
drounlu.
Willie's Mother Mv noble boy I Wits
Tommy in swimming?
Willie No'm. Hut he was gnlu to go in.
Chicago Nuws-Hecord.
l.lkn Mii''i.
Hohiiiil If hliu woulil give liini 11 kiss lie
woulil not usk for iimitliiT.
"Hut, ili-iir," lii! miIiI roguishly, "what
If I wnntiil uiiothcr"
"Oh, thut w til Ik nil right," hu iissurtil
lit-r. "Klhhi's ure llku hhucp; wliwi oiii
li'lliW tho others follow." Detroit Free
Press.
Well I'roteeleil.
Klngley Whlit hns lieeouiu of your cot
tagu ut the henslioivf I wns down there
the, other iluy anil illiln't t-eu It anywhere,
lllngo No. I I.-! It Immuht hoinu foi
I tliu wl'iter In one of niywlfu's trunks. -
Cloak lu'vit'W.
K'iliii; III tit Onl,
Ilrl.'Ks How is It joii lend Hunger your
dress suit so inuclif I see It I tit out in il
i-ry uiclit.
(JrltfUH Ilv lives next diHirto iiie.audhe
Is leuriillir; how to ilnytlie lianjo. New
York Herald.
A SI reii U nf I. nek.
Had Hoy I'm In luck. Wen I do any
tiling I tell iot mail. ma said I uilKht, ami
I tell inaiiiiiiii int Mini 1 mlulit.
Gootl Hoy- Don't they Hud out.
Hml Hoy Nitpu 'I'liey don't speak. -(tood
News,
.lllloll'lll Drill.
Ilu(entliusr.hikally)-lf I tould alwayn
IrUld tht'Mi little liiiuds in mine
She What l.iiihI unulil lliatdojoiir
He Then joii eouldu'l iouud that ilnu
miy more.- Te s Mfilus.
TALE WITH A MORAL
Which
Trnetira Tlint Yon Hml llitllet
Let the titter Atone.
And It came to pass at the place which
men call the race track Hint a certain
youth npK'ared after tho third race had
been run and manifested signs of great
Joy.
"For," snld he, "I havu hot tt to wlii.Mif
If I name the wluneisof the Itrnt five races
correctly, and lol I have already named
these three aright."
After thu fourth race caiiui t tint youth
In a tumult of doubt and questioning
"Again they have run my way," he said
"but I am In a sore perplexity. The men
who preside over the booth offer lint $UX
for my bet us It stands, and I fancy much
that a bird lu the baud Is pleasant, ami jet
-WOO."
Now, when the llfth race hud been run
we, knowing this youth to have picked thf
winner, approached him with coiigratula
tlous upon our lips mid expecting greutl)
that he would set 'em up. Hut his coiinte
milieu was sorrowful, and as we did him
the requested favorof kicking him all ov.-i
that county, he told us the sad truth ol
thu matter.
"As you know," so the talu ran, "I bun
picked the odds on the favorite, and tin
iiookinakers bad ollcrcd tocompromlse tin
. bet. Then suddenly, wlillu I yet Inborn
with my doubts, there ran up to me a cer
I tain friend whosald hastily thatthufavorlti
I was not decreed by the fates and the own
er's stable to win. This he knew, linvlne
recently come from the paddock. Where
upon, believing Ills story, I returned to tli
hook In and olTcrcd to settlu my K(il to$i
bet. Which he dually did, paying mi
sixty dollars for thu bet. And then tin
favorite romped liomu by three lengths
Now I Kick me iigulut"
And the last statu of this youth n
worse than thu llrst, for he staked all hi
sixty dollars on the hoise that did not win
thu sixth and last race, and he was con
strained to borrow a nickel to ride home
with. And the moral of this truu talu l
not hard to Hud. Chicago Tribune.
Ventilation.
Alexander Dumas, the great French nov
elist, hud In his character much of the
natural comicality of the negro race, from
which hu was lu part sprung. Ills sou.
Alexander Dumas Ills, was notnbly lack
lug in this quality, and the father wnt
fond of making pleasant little jokes at lib
expense.
Once when thu father was visiting tin
son, Alexander junior invited Alexander
senior Into his garden, which Is said tu
havu been somewhat lurger than a good
sized pocket handkerchief. They sat tllidei
thu onu little tree lu this garden, and
fanned themselves.
"I am suffocating," said Alexaudei
senior.
"What shall I do, pore?" asked Alexan
tier junior.
"Hotter open your chamber window and
let a little air out Into your garden!" said
Alexander pere. Youth's Companion.
Safe KiiiiiiuIi,
A man rushed Into the waiting room of a
safety deposit company yesterday morning
nnd said hurriedly to thu custodian:
"I want to get something out of my box
No. !!7, UK) nnd I've lost my key. How
will I manage Itr"
"Wu gave you two keys, you remember,
when you leased the box," returned the
custodian, "so that If you lost onu you
could fall buck on the other. They are
duplicates. You will have to go and get
your other key. There Is no other way to
get at tlie contents of your box, sir."
"Great Scott!" gasped thu excited caller.
"I put the other key Inside thu box for safe
keeping!" Toronto Mall.
Illti-t'cepteil Letter.
Dkaii Ni:i'iii:w-I write this unto from m
hoiisu lu Whcfillu's Corners to tell you that
thu opportunity yon huvu so limit cm veil o I
sceiiu; in self and family Unlxmt to hu granted.
I anil Jennie, ami Ktlu and .Ilia, llenule, the
two Irnhles, nur lilreil man anil cousin Sally are
cmnliur to make you a uleu loiiu visit ilurlnu
tho World's fair. Yours uireetlunately,
U.m-i.i: Samuel
Dkaii Um'I.k Your kind ante has In en re
ceived. I am wry Mrr to say that wife, and
myself nruKiiltii; to leave tow ti loululit to lie
Koliu three )eiirs, Wuaru bitterly illniiliil
cd. Yoiirnu"ectltiintuncliuw, Jason.
Chicago NeHs-Heciiril.
Mm lluiln't (Julio Unilrrnt I.
It was a college town and he was a fresh
man calling on a young lady he had know n
nsaboy. The servant who admitted him
askeil for his name.
"Say uu old friend" very airily "ami
cits."
Hridgct said, "Yes, sor," and retired,
but in a moment returned to usk:
"If you plu.e, sor, f what sort af a cuss
did ye, say It that ye wu.?" Detroit Free
Press.
A iJreat Neeil.
Apropos of the admission of women to
tho medical association, Sir Spencer WelN
consulted an American examiner on the
subject of piofessloual women, and received
the following very smart reply: "Well,
sir, ill our country we have a meat man)
female doctois, female journalists, feinnlt
preachers and females lu all classes of
professions and trades, but what he want
Is more female women." Argonaut.
Only In tliu SuliiirltH.
Passenger (on sleeper, looking hetween
curtains) What plnee Is this, porter
Porter Chicago, sah.
Passenger Why diiln't you wake mef 1
get oil' there.
Porter Hn-ss you, sah, we il. "i get in
to ilu station '111 ills afternoon! Truth.
Too r,xH'iilit mi lliiniir.
i Day I hear) on havu In en iiiaile a ineiii
her of the linn
1 Weeks Yes, hill I Mini there is oni
ilrawliaek aliout that.
Day-What)'
I Weeks My salary is larger than 1 can
ufToul to pay. New Yoik Ileiahl.
I'tlllll Of lllllll)'.
"I suppose joii nit uliitl to he home from
the country, Mrs. I lion-Dtt "
"Delluliled' Tittle Is 1 illy one tiling
that hot hers me now, and Hint Is where we
shall sprnii 1 1 ... autumn ami winter. We
Koahroad In ihespiiut; "-Harper's Haar
V I'letisititt rroipei't.
Sister-Tom. fatlier sas jou're to roine
huiiiu riKlit iiuuy He wants to -iak to
you.
Tom (who lias heeil playlliK "hookey"
WhatdiK's he want me fori1
Sister Hu didn't say, hut he went out tu
cut a willow rod as I left the house,- Life
rW&Hg
Did'nt Know It!
M
Of Course not.
How could You?
Fact, nevertheless. We me
now lu the News huslncos in
"ili'iul earnest" and want jou
to bu nil j our
Periodicals,
nm n i n uo
aLL mo,
tj
Novels.
Newspapers, correspondence
papers, nnd stationery goods
In gviienil of us. Wo linve n
line of novels unequalled lu
the clt, besides nil the Intent
nnd most popular Fashion
nnd Ait journnls, etc. till
nnd see our beautiful quar
ters nnd this new department
Wessel-Stevens Printing Co,
Courier Otfice
1I!H N Htleet,
Trlcphoiintifti
1A VfS'"4
4A0QUAINTIDWITHTHI OtOOtUt'HV Of Th COUNTRY Wii. UHlAlh
MUCH INI0HMAT10 VHOM A TuOV Of 1HI MAMGF IhC
''g
Chicago,Rock Island & PaciRc Ry
Thu DIRECT HOUTE to and from C1IICACQ,
HOOK ISLAND, DAVENPOIIT. DES MOINIO,
OJUNCID BLUFFS. -WATEHTOWN, 6I0UX
FALLS, MINNEAl'OLIB. ST. I'AUL, ST. JOS'
EPH, ATCHISON, LEAVENWOUTII. KANSAJ
CtTY.TOPEKA. DENVEU, COLOKADO 01"N03
tiad rUKBLO.
SOLID VESTIBULE EXPRESS TRAINS
cf Throuith Coaches, 8locper, Fnu Ilccllnlnn
Chair Cnra nnd Dinlnit Cam daily l;rtwiei .ltl
CIAOO. DES MOINES, COUNCIL lILIIFrd a 1
OMAHA, and lietween C1IICA00 unit DEN'VIilt
CK3LORADO SPItlNOS nnd I'UKlll.U v i 3t
Joseph, or Xaniaa City and Toixika
Via The Albert Lea Rcn
Fut Ex proa Train dally lMtwn'ii Cl.l i i:
and Minneapolis and HI. r-ul, wl'li YHllOUOll
Itecltnlntt Chair Cum (I'llEE) to and from tlwu
points and Kansas City. Tbi-o'mli Chutr Car
and Sleeper between J'oorla, br.irlt Lako bntl
Sioux Falls via Ilock Inland.
For Tickets, Maps, Folders, or Ccs irtd In form a-
tlon, apply at any Couion Ticket Oinca, cr addresi
E. ST. JOHN, JOHN SEBASTIAN,
Oen'l Manaser, Oer.'l TUt, I'uas. AuU
CHIOAr.O ILt
Itip:uis TiihuK'.s euro tho liluos
Itljiiius Tiilm'os euro indigestion.
Ilipaiis Tiiliiilcs euro toipitl liver.
liiiiiisTiiliuk's: geutlo cathartic.
fM()ORi:SHIVI-: KIICIIRE.
,, , W.0i,,',,!','!U1,u,1 to iMX HllstUK, O.T A.
i S.,Jii,!.,i.''l.,.u lt".l-hiiro and nvelfp, iwiuseinild.
I the slioke.t ilfok of cnl mi evrrr lisiulli'd.
lea tltaU er isil. uup or mail,
l'tleptone 176
4r 'Vrizzm 'stTk. H P'C'V p"
l-'i 'i. I"y.r ntn- .Vir. f...
Moving Household Goods and Pianos a Specialty
$50,000.00 TO LOAN
At six per cunt per annum and a cash commission
or at eight pur cent, no commission, for periods of
three or live years on well located improved real es
late in Lincoln or Lancaster county,
INTICUIJST AU.OWKI) ON SAVINGS DICPOSITS
mSPOSITOKS IIAVK AHSOI.HTIC SKCUIUTY.
Union Savings Bank,
1 1 1 South Tenth Street
I nd ustrial SavingsBank
EUCVKNTII AND N StKKKTS.
Capital "tock, $2150 000. Liability of Stock holers $500 00c
INI'IsRKST PAID N Dl'I'OSirS,.
Wm. Stum., I'res. J. ID. IIiu., Vice-Pros,
Louis Stui.u Cash'er.
DiitKcrous. D 15 Thompson, C I? Montgomery, Geo M.
Hastings, II II Shalrerg, W II Mercery, J C Allen, T E San
dors, J 15 HilljWm Stull, Louis Stull, Goo A Mohronstocher
G. A. RAYMER &CO.
COAI
CANON,
ROCK SPRINGS,
PERFFXriON,
BEST GRADE
Telephone 390.
H. W. BROWN
DRUGGISTHIBOOKSELLER
Has the New Books soon as issued. A choice line of
Perfumes nnd Fancy Goods.
127 South Eleventh Street.
5l?e BurliQtoF8 Serritory
AIRt-WiTOHir Danoe dus Alphabets.
1
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III
LMOOLN O'PICta,
OOR.OANOIOTH,
AMS
I.AM. DEPOT,
THERE CAN HE
NO MISTAKING THE
BURLINGTON'S" POSITION
V THE RAILROAD WORLD"
-ALWAY8 WAS ALWAYS WILL BE A LEADER.
IT 18-
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QRN'L PA8SKNQER AOENT,
OMAHA.
DUQUOIN,
JACKSON,
MICKORY I1L0CK,
IOWA,
COLOR MA.
NBWCASTLk
OF HARD COAL.
Office 1 134 O Strtttv
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d bad wood, detroit, dbs moinbs and dxnvrr.
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1001 0 Streets
