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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 1, 1892)
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, OCTOBER i, 1H92
tilS FinST SERMON SINCE flETUnN
INQ FROM EUROPE.
The MaOf Rlilriliinmi of th. Bible Won.
datfk.l Aiifcivnt t.tiniltli.u ti. t Niilillnir
I'oetrjr, but Morn Than All tlm I'micr
of God Hutu Hnlvntloii.
DrtOOKLYN.Scpt. 2. Dr. TnlmiiKo was
greeted with n most Kctierotis nml effusive
welcome tixlny by a vnst cotiKri'KUtloii,
which assembled to hear liltn preach IiIh
first nernion lifter his return from hi Kuril
peun preaching tour. Ho nnnounccd thnt
In 11 Sunday or two hu would glvu a Kcrninu
coiiccrnliiK Ids stewardship In delivering
In Russia, In liehalf of Thu Christian
Herald, tlio fTi.OOO worth of Hour for the
Btnrvlnir. Th subject today was "All In
All." Text, Coloiwlaus 111, lit "Christ l
nil and In nil."
Hoturncd after the most eventful huiii
mer of my life, I must shortly nnd as soon
a I recover from tho Ben voyage, give, you
nn account of our mission of bread to fam
ine truck HiimIii and of my preaching
tour throiiKh Uormnny, KiikIiiiiiI, Scotland
nnd Ireland. Hut my first sermon on reach
lug hero must ho u hosanna of gratitude to
Christ, and from the text I have chiwn I
havo found that tho greatest name In tire
oceau shipping and from Liverpool to Mom
cow, nnd from .Moscow to London and I'M
InburRh nnd Belfast and Dublin, Is Jesus.
ALWAYS A MAN KOIt AN KMI'.lluKXCV.
Kvory ngo of tho world has had Its his
torians, Its philosophers, Its thinkers and
Its tenchers. Were there histories to lw
written there has always been a Moses, or
n Herodotus, or a Xenophon, or n .losephns
to wrlto them. Were there poems to be
constructed there has always been a Job
or a Homer to construct them. Were there
thrones lustrous and powerful tube lifted
there has nlwnys been a David or n Ciesar
to rnlso them. Were there feachers de
manded for the Intellect and the hearts
theru has been n Socrates, nnd n Zcno, and
a Cleanthes, and n Marcus Antoninus
coming forth on the grand nml glorious
mission. Every ngo of tho world has had
Its triumphs of reason and morality.
There has not been n single age of thu
world which hns not had some decided sys
tem of religion.
The Platonlsm, orientalism, stoicism,
Drnhmlnlsm and Huddhlsm, considering
the ages iti which they were established,
wero not lacking in Ingenuity nnd force.
Now, In this line of beuellccnt Institutions
and of noble men there appeared a person
age more wonderful tlinn any predecessor.
Ho enmo from n family without any royal
or nrlstocrntlc pretension. Ho became a
Galilean mechanic. He had no advantage
from tho schools. There wero people be
side him day after day who had no Idea
thnt ho wns going to bo anything remark
able or do anything remarkable. Vet not
withstanding all this, and without any
title or scholarly profession or .flaming
rhetoric, he startled tho world with the
strangest announcements, ran in collision
with solemn priest and proud ruler, and
with n voice that ran through temple and
pnlnce, nnd over ship's deck and mountain
top exclaimed, "I am tho light' of the
Men wero taken idl aback at tho Idea
thnt thnt hand, yet hard from the use of
the ax, the saw, the 111U and hatchet,
should wave the scepter of authority, and
that upon that brow, from which they had
so often seen him wipe the sweat of toll,
thero would yet come thu crown of unpar
alleled splendor and of uulvcr.snldomiuloii.
We nil know how ditllctilt It is to think
that nnybody who was at school with us in
boyhood has got to bo anything great or
famous, nnd no wonder that those who
had been boys with Christ in thu streets of
Nazareth and seen him In after years in
thu days of Ids complete obscurity should
hnvo been very slow to acknowledge
Christ's wonderful mission.
From this humble point tho stream of
life flowed out. At first it was just n faint
rill, hardly nJdu to find its way down the
rock, but thu tears of u weeping Christ
added to It a volume, and it flowed on until
by tbo beauty nnd greenness of thu banks
you might kuow the path the crystal stream
wa.i taking. On and on, until tho lepers
were brought down and washed of their
leprosy, and tho dead wero lifted into the
water that they might havo life, nnd pearls
of Joy and promise weru gathered from the
brink, nnd innumerable churches gathered
on either bank, and thu tldu flows on deeper
and stronger nnd wider, until it rolls into
tho river from under the throne of God,
mingling billow with billow, and bright
ness with brightness, nnd joy with joy, and
hosanna with hosanna.
UK IS A I.I. IK ALU
I was looking at homo of the paintings of
tho artist, Mr. Kunsett. I saw some pic
tures that weru just faint outlines; in home
places you would seu only thu branches of
a treo nnd no trunk; nnd in another cai-e
tho trunk and no branches. Hu had not
finished thu work. It would have taken
him days anil months perhaps to haw
completed It. Well, my friends, In thl
world wu get only the faintest outline of
what Christ Is. It will take all eternity to
All up the picture so loving, so kind. m
merciful, m great! Paul does not in this
chapter say of Christ hu Is good, or he Is
loving, or hu is patient, or hu is kind; hut
In hla exclamation of the text hu embraces
everything when he says, "Christ is nil
nud in all."
I remark In thu first place, Christ is
everything in thu lliblo. I do not care
wheru I open thu Hible I find Jesus. In
whatever path I start I come after awhile
to the Hcthlehcm manger. I go back to
the old dispensation nud seu a lamb on the
nltar and say, "Heboid the Lamb of Cod
which taketh away tho sin of tho world' '
Then I go and seu thu manna provided for
tho Israelites In thu wilderness, nud say.
"Jesus, the bread of life." Then I look at
tho rock which was smitten by the
prophet's rod, and as thu water gushes cut
I say, "It Is Jesus, the fountain opened for
sin and for uucleauuess."
I go imck and look at thu writings ol
Job, and hear him exclaim, "I know that
my Redeemer llveth." Then I go to Kc
klel, and I find Christ presented there as
"a plant of renown," and then I turn ov.r
to Isaiah, and Christ Is spoken of "as a
sheep before her shearers." It Is Jesus all
the way between Genesis and Mahi'iil
Then I turn over to the New Testament,
nml It is Christ in tho parable; It is Christ
in the miracle; It Is ChrUt In thu evangel
Ist's story; It is Christ In tho apostle's epl
ties, and It is Christ in thu trumpet peal of
tilt' Apocalypse. 1 know there aru a great
many people who do not llhd Christ In the
Here Is a man who studies the Hible as a
historian. Well. If you comeasn historian,
you will llnd In this book how the world
was made; how thu seas lied totheir place,
how empires weru established; how uatloi'
fought with nation, javelin ringing against
iiarbegeou, until the earth was ghastl)
with the dead. Von will see the lorone
tlon of princes, thu triumph of couquuiui.
and thu world tumid upside down mm
back ngalu nnd down again, cleft and
scartcd with grent agonies of earthquake
and tempest and battle. It Is a woudciful
history, putting to the blush all others hit lie
accuracy of Its recital and In thu stupen
dous events it records. Homer nud Thucyd
Idl asul GlblHin could make great stories
ont of little events, hut It took n Moses to
tell how the lii'twens nud tho earth wero
made, In one chapter, and to givu tho his
tory of thousands of years upon two leaves.
TIIK AKTIQVAMAH IIIIILR BTUtlKNT.
There are others who come to thu Hilda !
mere) as ant lunarians. If you comoas nn
antiquarian, you will llnd n grent many
odd things In the Hible peculiarities of
milliner nud custein, marriage nud burlnl;
peculiarities of dress, tunics, snndnN,
crisping pins, amulets and girdles nnd
tinkling ornaments. If you come to look
at military arrangements, you will find
coats of mall and Javelins and engines of
war nml rlrcumvallatloii ami encamp
ments. If you lock for peculiar musical
Instruments, you will find psalteries and
shlgiotioths and rains' horns. Tho ntitl j
(Uiirlnu will find In the Hlblu curiosities '
In agriculture, and In commerce, nnd in art,
nud In religion that will keep him .ab
sorbed a great while. Theru are those who '
comu to this Hible as you would to a cabi
net of curiosities, and you pick up this and
sav, "What n strnngu sword that 1st" and
"What a peculiar hat this 1st" and "What '
nil uiilookcd for lamp thnt 1st" nnd the
Hlblu to such becomes a ltrltlsh museum. I
Then thero are others who find nothing
in the Hlblu but the poetry. Well, If you
come as n poet, you will find In this book
faultless rhythm, and hold Imagery, mid i
startling antithesis, and rapturous lyric, '
and sweet pastoral and Instructive hurra- !
live, nnd devotional psalm; thoughts ex- I
pressed in a style more solemn than that
of Montgomery, moru bold than that of'
Milton, more terrible than that of Dante,
more natural than that of Wordsworth,
moru impassioned than that of Pollock,
more tender than that of Cowper, more
weird than than that of Spenser. This
great poem brings all thu gems of the
earth Into Its coronet, and it weaves
thu flames of judgment In its garland nnd
pours eternal harmonies in Its rhymth.
Everything this hook touches It makes
beautiful, from the plain stones of the1
Mimmer thrashing floor, nud the daughters
of Nnhor filling the trough for tho camels,
nnd thu fish pools of HcsIiImui, up to thu
, psalmist praising tiou with illapnson of
storm and whirlwind, and Job leading
I forth Orion, Arcturus and thu Pleiades.
j It is u wonderful poem, nnd n grent many
penpiu reau it as nicy no 'i nomas .Moore's
"Lulhi Hookh," nnd Walter Scott'H "Lady
of tho Lnke," nnd Tennyson's "Chnrge of
the Light Hrlgade." They sit down and
are so absorbed In looking at tho shells on
the shore that they forget to look off on
thu great ocean of God's mercy nml saiva
tiou. 11MNI) UNIIKMEH IS fiUItK TO HIIII.
Then there aru others who comu to this
book as skeptics. They marshal passage
nuainst nassime. and try to net Matthew '
nml I.likn limiitinrrel. nml wniilil linvn . i
discrepancy between what Paul and James
say about faith anil works, and they try
tbo account of Moses concerning thu ct ca
tion by moilern decisions in science, and
resolve that In all questions between the
scientific explorer and the Inspired writer
they will give the preference to the geolo
gist. These men thesu spiders, I will say
suck poison out of thu sweetest flowers.
They fatten their Infidelity upon the
truths which have led thousands to
heaven, anil In their distorted vision
prophet seems to war with prophet, and
evangelist with evangelist, and apostle
with apostle, and If they can find home had
trait of character In n man of God men
Honed In that Hlblu thesu cnrrlon crows i
caw and flap their wings over tho carcass.
Because, they cannot understand how the
whale swallowed Jonah they attempt the
more wonderful feat of swallowing t.e
monster whale of modern skepticism.
They do not believe It possible that the
Bible story should be true which snysthal
thu dumb ins spake, while they themselves
prove tho thing possible by their own ut
I nm amused beyond bounds when I hear
one of thesu men talking alioiit a future
lifu. Just nsk a man who rejects tlm'
Hlblu what heaven Is, mid hear him befog
your soul. Hu will tell you that heaven is
merely thu development of tho Internal re
sources of a man; it is an eflloresceucu of
the dynamic forces into a state of ethereal
and transcendental lucubration, In close
juxtaposition to thu ever present "was,"
and tho great "to be," and the uveiiastlug
"no." Considering themselves wise, they
are fools for time, fools for eternity.
VAIN AND FOOLISH IIISI'UTKS,
Then theru Is another class of persons
who come to thu Hlbluas controversialists.
They are enormous Presbyterians or fierce
Baptists or violent Methodists. They cut
the Hible to suit their creed Instead of cut
ting their creed to suit thu Hible. If the
Scriptures think as they do, well; if not,
so much thu worsu for thu Scriptures. The
Hlblu is merely thu whetstone on which
they sharpen thu dissecting knife of ton
troversy. They comu to it as u govern
ment in time of war comes to armories
or arsenals for weapons and munitions,
They havo declared everlasting war against
all other sects, nud they want so many
broadswords, so many muskets, so many
howitzers, so many columhlads, so much
grap't and canister, so many fleldpleces
with which to rake thu field of dispute,
for thoy mean to get the victory though the
heavens bu darkened with the smoke anil
thu earth rent with the thunder. What do
they caru about thu religion ofthuLoid
I have seen some such men come back
from an ecclesiastical massacre as proud of
their achievements as an Indian warrior
boasting of the number of scalps hu ha
taken. I have more admiration for a man
who goes forthwith his lists to get the
championship than I have for these then
- i i - - - --- -.- ......
logical pugilists who mnku our theological
magazines ring with their warcry. There
aru men who seem to think thu only use of
the sword of truth Is to stick somebody.
There Is one passage of thu Scriptures that
they like better than all others, and that It
this.' "Messed be the Lord which teacheth
my hands to war, ami my fingers to fight!"
Woe to us if we come to God's word an
controversialists, or as skeptics, or as con
uoisseiirs, or as fault llnders, or merely as
Thoso only get into the heart of God's
truth who couio seeking Christ, Wei
comu all such! They will find him coming
out from behind the curtain of prophecy
until he stands In the full light of Ni w
Testament disclosure. Jesus, the Son i f
God, thu Saviour of the world. They w II
Hud him lu geuealo'.ienl table and in clou
I uological calculation, in poetic stanza i..n'
j In historical narrative, lu profound pain
I hie and in startling miracle. They will
reo Ids foot on every sea, and his tears ii
the drops of dew on llermou, anil hear I. h
I voice lu the wind and heboid his wonl .
abloom in the valley between Mount (
I vet and Jc runlf m.
Theru an home nun who come and v
around the Temple of Truth and m
see thu outside. Tin to are others who
walk Into the porch nud then go away.
There are others who comu III and look at
tho plitures, hut they know nothing ulxmt
tho chief attractions of thu lllhlc. It Is
only the man who comes nud knocks nt
tho gate, saying, "1 would seu Jesus." For
him the g I or Ira of that Iswfc even, nnd ho
goes in and finds Christ, and with him
peace, pardon, life, comfort nud heaven.
"All in nil Is Jesus" In the lllhlo.
HIS ALL SUKKICIKNCY,
I remark again that Christ Is everything
In tho grent (dan of redemption. Wu nro
slaves; Christ gives deliverance to tho cap
tive. a nro thirsty; Christ Is the river
of salvation to slake our thirst. Wo are
hungry; Jesus says, "I am the bread of
life." We are condemned to die; Christ
says, "Save that man from going down to
thu pit; I am the ransom," Wu are tossed
on ii sea of troubles; Jesus comes over it,
saying, "It Is I, be not afraid." We are In
daikness; Jesus says, "I am thu bright
and morning star." Wu nre sick; Jesus
Is thu balm of Gllead. We nro dead;
henr the shrouds rend nnd thu grave
hillocks heave as he cries, "1 am
thu resurrection and thu life; hu that
belleveth ill me, though lie weru dead, yet
shall he live." We waul Justification;
"llelng Justlllril by faith, wu hnvo peace
with (!(n1 through our Lord JesusChrlst."
Wu want to exercise faith; "Believe in the
IiOrtl Jesus Christ, and thou shall I mi
saved." I want to get from under con
demnation; "There Is now, therefore, no
condemnation to them who are In Christ
Jesus," Tho cross he carried It. The
Haines of hell he suffered them. The
shame he endured It. The crown he won
It. Heights of heaven sing It, and worlds
of light to worlds of light all round thu
heavens cry, "Glory, glory!"
Let us go forth and gather thu trophies
for Jesus. From Goleouda mines wu
gather thu diamonds, from Ceylon banks
wu gather the pearls, from all lands and
kingdoms wu gather precious stones, and
wu bring the glittering burdens and put
them down ut thu feet of Jesus nnd say:
"AH these are thine. Thou are worthy."
We go forth again for more trophies, and
Into one sheaf we gather nil thu scepters
of the earth, of nil royalties and domin
ions, nnd then we bring the sheaf of seep
tersand put It down at thu feet of Jesus
and say, "Thou art King of kings, and
these thou hast conquered."
And then we go forth again to gather
more trophies, and wu bid thu redeemed of
ullages, thu sons nnd daughters of the
Lord Almighty, to come. We ask them to
comu nnd offer their thanksgivings, and
the hosts of heaven bring crown nnd palm
and scepter, and here by these bleeding
feet, and by this riven side, and by this
wounded heart cry, "Mussing and honor
nnd glory nnd power he unto lilm that sit
teth upon the throne and unto the Lamb
forever and forever!" Tell inu of a tei.r
that ho did not weep, of a burden he did
not carry, of a battle that he did not light,
of a victory that hu did not achieve. "All
in all Is Jesus" In thu great plan of re
A VKKY I'llI'-SKNT IIKLI',
. r?!"ftrH "K"'"'. r,irlst ,H everything t
1 thu Christian in tlmuof trouble. Who li.s
i escaped trouble? We must nil stoop down
i nud drink out of the bitter hike. The
i moss has no time to grow on the buckets
that comu up out of the heart's well, drip
ping with tears. Great trials are upon our
I track as certain as greyhound pack on t he
I scent of deer. From our hearts' In eveiy
! direction theru aru a thousand chords
I reaching out binding us to loved ones, and
ever and anon some of thesu tendrils snap.
Thu winds thnt cros this sea of life are
not all abaft. Thu clouds that cross oi r
sky aru not feathery and afar, strajitm
llku flocks of sheep on heavenly pastui
hut wrathful nnd somber, and gleaming
with terror, they wrap thu mountains In
fire and comu down baying with their
thunders through every gorge.
Thu richest fruits of blessing have n
prickly shell. Llfu hero is not lying at
anchor; it is weathering a gale. It Is not
sleeping In n soldier's tent with our arms
stacked; it is a bayonet charge. Wu stum
ble over gravestones, nnd wu drive on
with our wheel deep in thu old rut of
grnves. Trouble has wrinkled your brow,
nud It hns frosted your head. Falling in
tills battle of lifu, is theru no angel to blml
our wounds? Hath God made this world
with so many things to hurt and none to
heal? For this snakebite of sorrow, Is
thero no herb growing by nil tho brooks to
heal the poison? Blessed lie God thnt In
thu Gospel we find tho antidote Christ
bus bottled nn ocean of tears. How many
thorns hu hath plucked out of human
Oh, hu knows too well what It is tocurrj
a cross, not to help us carry ours! He
knows too well what It is to climb the
mouiitnlu, not to help us up the steep
Hu knows too well what it is to lie perse
cuted, not to help those who nro imposed
upon. Hu knows too well what it is to he
sick, not to help those who suffer. Aye, lit
knows too well what it is to die, not t
help us In our Inst extremity. Mesed
Jesus, thou knowest it nil. Seeing thy
wounded side, and thy wounded hand, ami
thy wounded feet, and thy wounded br nv.
wo aru sure thou knowest It all,
Oh, when those into whose bosom we
used to breathe our sorrows aru snatched
from us, blessed bu God, the heart of Jesus
still beats, and when all other lights go out
nnd thu world gels dark, then wo seu com
ing out from behind a cloud something so
bright and cheering, wu kuow it to be the
morning star of tho soul's drllvcrnnce! The
hand of caru may mnku you stagger, or the
hand of persecution may heat you down, oi
thu baud of disappointment may beat you
back; but there Is u bund, and It Is so kind,
and It Is so gentle that it wipeth nil tears
from all face. .
One Man' Awful Mistake,
"I made the awful mistake of mukim:
lovu to my own wife one day," said W. T
Mnsnn lis be drew a elnitr mi lit flu.
. - - ....... .. , ,. ., ,,
charmed circle wheru sat thu story teller
lu thu Lindell rotunda. "I had been down
to Kankakee oia business trip and took
the night train for Chicago, wheru I re
side. The coach was chock-a-block, with
I tho exception of one double seat, which
was occupied by a htyllsh looking woman,
who sat by the window and had her veil
! down. I received permission to occupy
l the seat with her, and we weru soon chut-
"I thought her voice sounded familiar,
but fate hail ordained that I should nial.e
nn nss of myself. I tried to get her to put
up her veil, hut she objected thnt the
cinders got into her eyes. To mako n long
story short, I struck upn desperate flirta
tion with her. She admitted that she was
married, but said her husband was a
graceless scamp, who was always tllitlng
witli other women and neglecting her. Of
course 1 sympathized with her, ami told
her that a man who would neglect so
charming a woman ought to be kicked to
death by a blind mule, Was I married
Certainly not. Well, we finally reaehe.
Chicago, ami 1 handed her Into a ca
Then she lifted her Mil. It was my wl
This htory stop right here." St. L
SAID IN FUN.
A barrister oWrvcd to n learned brother
In court that hu thought his whiskers very
unprofessional. "Yon nro right," replied
Ids friend; "a lawyer cannot lie too bnro-fncwl."-TIUHU.
He (a senildo cqualntnuce) I learo to
morrow, Miss Sumnirrglrl. I lenvu on tin
D:40 express, which will lirnr mo nwny
from hero nud you nt thu rntu of forty
mites nil hour, .lust think of that! She
Forty miles nu hour! How nlret Harper's
Wife John, Tho Morning Dally stnten
that you got Into n disgraceful fight nt
your club last night. Who did you fight
with? Husband lam sure 1 do not know,
dear. I hnveu't even seen Tho Dally yet.
"What ban become of thu big man who
used to beat thu bass drum?" asked tho
private of the drum major. "Ho left us
nltout three months ngo," "Good drum
mer, too, wasn't he?" "Yes, very good;
hut ho got so fat that when he marched
ho couldn't hit thu drum In thu middle."
Hrlggs 1 hear you nro living down on
tho Nuw Jersey coast. Is It cool down,
there? Griggs -Cooll 1 should say so.
Why thu mosquitoes all hnvo to wear buf
falo robes. Clonk ltevluw.
Tommy Pa, may I nsk you n question?
Pn-Certalnly, my child. Tommy -Well,
where Is the wind when it doesn't blow?
Texus Sift lugs,
"Thero goes little Mr. Sissy," sho said
iih thoy strolled down Charles streut.
"Isn't hu elTcinlniito lu his dress?" "Do
you think so?" replied her friend. "Yes,
Indeed. Why, hu wears suspenders, high
collars and sashes Just like a real woman!"
Winks Minks has been aging very rap
idly during the tiast few months. Jinks
Yes; he must, lie building a house. Tit
Hits. "I am Innocent, your honor. Heaven I
my witness!" "I am sorry," returned thu
sympathetic, Justice; "your witness Is be
yond tbo jurisdiction of tho court. Five
years.'' Harer's Bazar.
.Mother Mary, go up In tho nttla nud
get thnt photograph of Mrs. Grlmsoii and
put it in that new frame on thu piano.
Miwy Why, mother, what do you want to
put that homely old thing In there for?
Mother Sho Is coming to visit us tomor
row. Hochester Democrat-Chronicle.
"Don't you know better than to put
your arm around a lady's walstV'sho cried
liiiUinnntly. "I know fuw things better,"
ho said. Boston Post.
Smith (with efTuslon) Halloo, Brown, Is
that you? I heard you weru drowned
Brown (with sadness) No, it was my
brother. Smith (thoughtlessly) What a
In tho old pioneer days of tho Green
Mountain State the marriage ceremony
partook of thu simplicity which wns a dis
tinguishing characteristioof life In Ver
mont nt that time. A native of the statu
tells u story of thoso early days, which his
grandfather used to take great pleasuro In
Klder Brown, n much beloved Methodist
minister, win sawing wood lu his front
dooryard. The day was warm, and tho
minister's occupation was naturally heat
ing lu Its tendency, so F.lder Brown was In
his shirt sleeves, Just llku any uiimlnls
terlul wood sawyer of his parish.
Presently there came riding along thu
road ami up j the fence a tail, lank, tin
galnly country bumpkin on horseback,
with n fresh faced girl on a pillion behind
him, with hr arms clasped about his
As they came to a halt Klder Brown ad
vanced to tk. fence and rested his arms
comfortably on the top rail.
"You want t' get married, I calo'lute?"
ho said, addressing the smiling pair Im
partially. "Ya-as," they replied In unison.
"Well, then," proceeded Klder Ilrowu,
"James, will you take this woman for
"Yu-as," replied thu grinning bride
"And you, Hetty, will you take this man
for your husband?"
"Ya-as," rolled tho bride, with unfal
tering promp less.
"All right, then," remarked thu minis
ter, reaching ml his right arm nud hu
stowing a par ng handshake on each of the
newly imirrlei. pair, "you can ride mil"
Ami they rode on, ns happy as If the
ceremony had been much moru elaborate
while the eh: r returned to Ids wood saw
Ing. Youth' Companion.
A FhIhI IIIiiiIiiii.
A philosopher had thu following inscrlp
tiou carved on thu doorway to onu of hi
gardens: "This garden shall become the
property of t u man who can prove that ii
Is perfectly cutuntud."
Onu day a trungcr came and said, "1
have comu to take possession of the gar
den; nobody In the wholu world, I can
truthfully sa, Is moru content and hnpp;
To which thu philosopher phlegmnllea'
ly replied: ")ou aru laboring under u ih
lusion, sir. L you were thoroughly con
tented you would nut covet my gurdun."
Young Mr. Yeerwed had been gazing fr.
a long time nt the antics of his little threu-months-old
baby. Thu child was sans
hair, sans teeth, hnd a red fucu nud n
frightful yell, but she wns his child ami
ho loved her. At length thu little onu
looked up nud laughed, nud thu overjoyed
Yeerwed, turning to his wife, ejaculated.
"Ily Jovol .Maud, it actually seems ns
though baby was almost human." Har
Tom Whoso umbrella Is that you nre
Jnck I'm sure I don't know. It's ono
you lent me thu other evening. Yankee
No Climigo fur Hie llettor.
"Marlur, yir ain't chatiKcd that much
that I Mn HecMiiyditlcr'nco In verier what
yir win iih 11 . hild!"
"An, Lizzie, yor look ter mu jux' furall
thu world us yr did whuu yur wtu a bchool
i1 jV$ fey&-
Tlm I.Tid of tlm Honeymoon,
Ills mother had called nml found the
young husband In tears.
"Why, what docs this mono?" wan her
highly original remark,
"Just this," ho walled. "I hnvo been
basely deceived. 1 thought her everything
augelluouce, hut I know belter now. Oh,
If you had only have seen her this morn
Ing charging around the house with her
suspenders down and howling llku a
tmiulnofnr her collar button you might
appreciate my woe. To think Hint I have
married a brutel"
And the dlsllliiNloiied'youtig innn bowed
Ids head lu his hands ami sought surcease
of sorrow In sobs, Indianapolis Journal.
In t li ling tilt).
, ft Aft
The Sprinkler-How's .bit, Hilly?
Hilly (with an ecstatic slgh)-Oh, don'l
talk ter mel Life.
Mlullt lllive I'nreneell.
Tho wet hair clung to her face and ren
dered more pronounced Its ghastly pallor.
The men and women who gathered about
the beautiful form lying thero upon the
bench looked with terror lu their eyes nml
thought herdeud. The longcurviug hishw
rested upon the colorless cheek anil not n
breath lluttered thu gentle hosom.
Strong men repressed their tears with nn
effort and women wept aloud.
Two doctors wero working over tho pron
"Shu will llvul"
Not a soul that heard tho words but felt
a he n so of Joy.
They carried bur tenderly to n secluded
place, far removed from the gazo of stran
gers. "Wh-wheru am I?"
Her eyelids trembled n moment nnd
opened. With n glance of terror nt her
unfamiliar surroundings she strove fran
tically to rise.
"Liu quiet, llu"
Tim doctors wero endeavoring to soothe
"quiet. You wero almost drowned."
Siio stared lu frightened Incredulity.
Thu girl wns looking lu wild dismay at
thu damp garments that enveloped her.
Suddenly her eyes filled nnd shu sobbed
"Oh, that I had hnd sense enough"
Her anguish was of thu acuto typo.
"to hnvo had my bathing suit mndo
of goisls that would stand welting. I
might havo known"
Shu burled her facu lu her bauds.
"that I would bu falllni Into tint
1 water with It."
After shu had slept awhile shu felt bet
ter. Detroit Tribune.
What on earth people did before hum
mocks weru Invented passes my knowledge.
Thu other night two persons wero lu ono
at u suburban lawn party.
They had forgotten everything but each
other and swung slowly to and fro to the
farolf music of thu frogs,
Hu hail been vainly trying for some tlmu
to encircle her with his arm without lc
Ing observed, and at last her white shnwl
slipped down Just right.
Shu drew n blissful sigh as sho nestled
Bearer and said, "How lovely!"
"Dearest, do you see thatstar up there?"
"Yes, Charlie; isn't it sweet?"
"I lovu thatstar up there," In a rather
"Oh, deur," sho simpered, "how I wish I
weru that starl"
It was then thnt some onu who had been
listening fell out of another hammock.
A student at Columbia college who hod
been lending a rather dissipated life wrote
to his father, one of thu most respectable
citizens of Albany:
DkaiiI'a I hud tho misfortune to bo upet
In a bout while out rowhiK on thu Hudson
river. I Inst the beautiful watch you tavo mo.
I would llku homo mime)' In hire n limit to dive
for It. Your anYctloimto son, Thomas.
The old giatluman, who was no fool, re
plied: "It's not worth while diving for It.
It might as well he in soak lu ouu piacu us
! another!" Texas Slftlngs.
Vnrlck' Idea of It,
Little Yoriek Mother, why do you take
the pips out of my lemonade? Will they
kill mu if I drink them?
Mrs. Yorlck-Ves, my child.
Little Yoriek--Trees would grow up In
side me, I suppose?
Mrs. Yoriek Yes.
Llttlo Yoriek (with a smile) My word,
mother, wouldn't it bu funny? When thu
angels came to take mu to heaven they'd
think they were carrying up nu orchard.
Ho Wanted Kn vl riiiuii t-nt.
The reporter had just come in from nu
assignment lu u murder case. It was n
rainy day and hu had to cross a plowtsl
fluid on foot.
"I see," observed thu city editor, looking
with some displeasure at his large and
muddy boots, "you have brought the scene
of thu murder with you." Huston Olobu.
A Vuliinliln Hoy.
Lawyer Havo you any refcrencu from
your last placuf
Hoy Nope. I didn't llku It, mi I not mo
"Hum! Why didn't you relu'iir"
"I wan afraid If I left without boln ent
ft they inlk'lit Mm mu fer brencli o' con
tract." (i'imh! News.
A Summer Scene.
A little Umt
.Upon the moonlit vwiter;
A uli'o )omii; limn
Of modern plnu;
An old ueiit'a pretty ilauuhter.
Am hllu he rout,
'Mill lambent glows,
Alcni: the IhiikIiIiii; uatcr;
lie hilKa tlm 'bore
Awlillu ami mure,
Ho liuu iti) old tent' ihiiih'ht.r.
I VDfri y'ii ' .". i. if
j u I : vr
Tlel Jtf,'. n v A.
Will be Interested
to learn Ihiil a new process bint Imeu Invent
nl forromovliitf Itlutelien, Frecklea. etc , from
111" face, leavlmt tlm skin elrar and benutlful.
II Is done hythu
New Steam Process I
lust Introduced by Mrs. J. (!, Hell, unit Is pro
vlngii MX stiff es and very popular. All tho
Hair Goods, Ornaments
ninl a full Hue of most approved Cnmiirllr.
tiliiv also lie found I here.
Ilnlr Diessliitf ami Maulfiirlng done on
fthort notice ami lu tho very latest stylo,
IViRS. J. C. BELL,
I 1 4 North 14th st.
DR. HENRY A. MARTIN'S
FOIl TIIK t'Ulll-J OF
Diseases of Women,
Morphine and Opium Habits.
Cure Guaranteed. Consultation Free.
Ottices, 141 South 12th Street
nmiT AUDITION TO
The most benutlful subiirbnn pron
rty now on tho tnnrkot. Only
three block from the liaiuliome Mn
oln Norms) University nml but
three blocks from tho propoied
leetilo railway. Thme lots nre now
beluR plaoril on tho market at
IiceedlDgly Low Prices and Easy Terms
Jfcr plat, tarmi anil Information, call on
M. W. FOLSOM, TRUSTEE,
Iftiuranoe, IUnl K-Ute and Loan Uroktr
Beam 80, Ntwnaan Block. 1028 O BtrMt
FAST MAIL ROUTE I
2 DAILY TRAINS 2
AtchUon, Leavenworth, St. Jo.cph,K&nai
City, St. Louis and nil PoInU South;
Fast and Went.
The direct line to Ft. Scott, Parsons.
Wichita, Hutchinson and all principal
points In Kansas.
The only road to the Great Hot Springs
of Arkansas. Pullman Sleepers and Fret
Reclining Chair Cars oa all trains.
I E. R. MILLAR, R. P. R. MILLAR,
City Ticket Agt Gen'l Agtat
Thu only Perfect Vaginal
HyrliiKO In thu Worlil.
Ih tho 011I5 Hyrlnuo nvcr
Invented l,y which vnulnnl
Injection ciiu tut lulmlnlN-tcn-il
without luiikliiK nml
Milllmi tht'clnthlm;, or ut
cesNltiitlni; tho uo of a vec
Hel, anil which ciiu 11U0 bu
used for rt-clul Injection.
HOKT ItUIIIIKIl IIUl.li,
II A It II ItUIIIIKIC llKI.I.
Mall (Inters Solicited.
The Aloe & Penfold Co.,
Next to I'orttoltlcc,
liemvHttier tliat tint
beat rout a to t'hfruyofvvm KlM'tol
(through Omaha) is
ria tho ' Hock Inland."
The J)iniitu Cars are all
new and elegant; the
service erergbody knows
in the best in
tho United States,
llaro newer and better Sleepers,
handsome i Coaches,
best lteelininy Chair Cars,
and the train is new and the
handsomest that runs from
Lincoln to Chicago (via Omaha,
If' iou want to be
convinced of this fact,
compare it with other
iO'Callcd first-class lines.
Tickets for side lift
CIIAS.' Ii UTUEHFOliD,
City I'asscnger Agent,
In the Hotel Lincoln."
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