CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY JUNE 4. 1892
l892
After Easter
Comes
House Cleaning.
A .M. Davis&no
Sell Carpets
You Know the Place.
1
mt v
UHK IIOWARD'H
CREAM OF ROSES.
Th most exquisite preparation forthsskla,
pea lianas, i-muca or hmmm
pares Chap
Removes
Tan and
Saaltlm anrs fa-Halt IMioum.
u peritenon, excellent-10 ui
trial. Perfectly harmless, rrloe Twaatr-
1 seats, ooiu nr an nriciss arafgist.
WOMAN
Freckle.
'J8
SHE COULD UN.
Bui Hit Dliln'l Know II Until After,
went.
The Iter. II. W. Pierson, I). I)., was for
stany years n traveling agent of Ilia Amrr
lean Ulbln society In tlin soiithw est. For
a part t that time liu rodo a horse (if
which he was Justly proud, nnd of which
he speaks again unit again, always In terms
of eulogy. In hi volume of reminiscences,
"In the brush." One night he arrived nt
celebrated watering place. A four horse
stagecoach drove up at the same time, uml
Dr. Pierson noticed the eyes of the driver
and the passengers fixed admiringly upon
I1I1 Jenny. The eolporteurentered tho ho
tel, registered his name without prefix
and went to tho washroom. Aa he fl 1 1 1 n 1 1 1 t
hlii ablutions and utood wiping his face,
the stage driver burst Into the room In
great excitement.
"Mr. Pierson," ho said, "will you allow
your horse to runr Tho money In up, mid
we'll have a race If you'll only nay tho
word."
A l poke he shook In the agent' fico
a mass of bank hill drawn through hi fin
ger after the manner of gamblers In those
parts.
Mr. Plenum waa startled to hear his
name pronounced In thin way by a stranger,
hut bethought himself at once of the hotel
register. Just then a servant appeared
with his saddlebags, waiting to show him
to hi room, and with an abrupt, emphatic
"No, slrl" ho turned away,
In duo time the supper bell rang, and
Mr. Plenum stepped out of hi room upon
tho piazza. There he encountered a gentle
man who at once approached him pleasant
ly and Mild:
"I hopo, Mir, you will reconsider your de
cision, nnd allow your mare to run. I
have tiuulo a bet that tiho can outrun any
thing hero, nnd the money Is up. Allow
mo to say that I am an old Virginian, and
a Judge of horses, and If you will let her
run I iimmim to win."
lly this time the lllblo society's agent
hnd recovered his self possession. Ho
bowed politely to his Virginia friend, nnd
Willi!
"Do you think, sir, It will do for a Prea
byterlim clergyman to commence homo
racing ho noon utter reaching thuSprliigsr''
Now ll wits tho other mini's turn to 1k
Mustered. Ho did not say n word, and Dr.
Plcrson went In to supper. When hocmne
out again tho stranger mmlo up to lilm in
the moHt rtupectful milliner.
"Allow mo to Speak to you again, sir. I
wish to apologize. I beg your pardon, sir.
I nssuro you, sir, that nothing would In
duce mo knowingly to intuit a clergy
man."
Dr. Plersou mado somo good until red re
ply and thought nothing more uliout the
matter.
Tho next winter, in pasting through an
other part of tho country, he stoped at a
blacksmith's shop to get a shoe tightened
Melrordliigltst Item,
It fins lutliestnoklugroomofati Atlantic '
stcattcr that a worthy Teuton was talking
about Heather forecasts. '
"Look here," hiisald, "I toll you vat ll )
Is, You better doii'd tnko no stock In di'lii
vetter predictions. Dey can'l tell no petter
as I can,"
"Hill, my dear sir," snlil a person
0?F FOR MARS.
ah Wanted a
ttrierved for
I'liMHcr
Her.
The Great Interplanetary Transporta
tion cotiimnyiiiu),ox;iicd Its oftlces for
business and tho piisteiiuf rs had begun to
arrive at the station. Tho people were
near ' taking these (lights through tho air to
dlctcd."-Texns Sittings.
An Annler.ry
i bsbbbbbbbPUbbSbwV f
tiy, "tliey foretold inv storm which we Mars aim ventis tor various reasons.
have Just encountered." . There wcro a fuw "drummers" among
"Veil, dut lull so," said the Teuton, "hut them from business houses more enter-
I tell you vat It Is, dat storm vould haf prising than their rivals, but tho freight
come ytist da samo If it had not been pro- rates to tho planets are so high that only
tho lightest class of goods can bo sent with
profit.
Those who made traveling a pleasure,
and about their only occupation, were out
In force, as usual. "Globe trotters" they
Used to be called, from their proclivities for
going around tho only planet with which
they were familiar at that time. They went
around and around, apparently looking
for a place to Jump off, Tho Interplane
tary Transportation company has fur
nished them with a means of doing so now,
and they take periodic flight to Mars and
Venus Instead of rambling through the
graveyards of Europe, as they did befoie
the days of 'airships, which travel with
llghtnlngllko rapidity.
Tho Tribune) reporter was, sitting in the
office of the ticket agent when a woman of
110 uncertain age came up. She seemed to
bo embarrassed, and looked around nerv
ously to see if there was any one near when
she approached the ticket window. She
inquired tho prices of different classes of
passage to Mars. After much beating
about tho bush she Inquired In a shy way
nlKiut tho seasons on Mars.
"Their year Is nearly twice as long as
ours," said the agent among other things.
"Ah er you are sure about thatr"
"About what?"
"That Is, are you sure that tho year in
Mars is twice as long as It is heref "
"Oh, certainly!"
"Ah er inn then that Is I supKme
a person who is fifty here er would be
only twenty-live theror"
Tho color came and went in her fiicu us
she asked this (uestlou, and she looked as
eagerly at the face of tho agent as if he
were 11 whole Jury whoc next words were
to decide whether she were to live or die.
"Yes, you uro right, iiiIsh," ho s.tld, hold
lug his eyes upon tho diagram lieforu him
"Then I'll take a passage on tho very
next ship," she replied, "and don't fall to
reserve it for me," and she went out with
a radiant smile on her face. New York
Tribune.
Wliut I'lli-r Whi Hilling.
She Do you remember what day this Is
the anniversary off
He-Well, I should say I did.
She I thought you would.
He Humph! Who could forget tho day
his own house waa burned f
She George!
He-Whatf
She It's tho day you proposed to me!
(Tears and a scene). Life.
Helping the Needy.
Ho was hard up and wanted money so
badly that he finally concluded to deposit
a handsome diamond ring In tho hock shop.
"Can I borrow I(X) hero on a diamond
worth fJTiOf" ho said to tho proprietor.
"Letiime see the stone," demanded the
money lender.
It was handed over and examined.
"Wellr" Inquired the applicant.
"I guess you can have It."
"Thanks. What are your rates?"
"Teh percent, a month In advance. That
Is, I takeout tho Interest and give you the
balance."
"I don't caro how you do It; all I want is
the money."
"You say you want 100?"
"Yes."
"How long?"
"Blamed If I know, but a long while, I
should think."
"For a year?"
"No, not that long; say about ten
mouths," nnd tho applicant hummed "1
want a situation" in a low key as the
money lender was making his calculatloi
on a sheet of wrapping paper.
'That's all right," llnallysaidthoiuone)
Leave Your Order for
NEWS -:
Periodicals, Novels
MAGAZINES
and anything in the Newsdealers and Stationers line at
Wessel-Stevens Printing Company's
NEW1NEWS DEPOT.
lNEiAr! GOODS.
wr
.iiuii't vnil nt. tlits Vlrftttiri In tit niiiuiiini A III
with this maro?" said the blacksmith. ,en!,ur: . "V0" cu ut tl,u ril, w,an ,,u
t
is the pivot
upon which
v ) Trade Turns.
number of yean ago I suggested
ta mm of my client that he place aa
advertlwmeat for good used exehv
atrely by men In a paper supposed to
be read exclusirely by women. The
dYMrtuwment appeared; It continued
to that paper several contecutWf
tear. Tb aotual mall catu mIm,
easing directly from that advertise
Mat, were two or three time aa
great, reckoning proportionate cot,
baa came from the tame advertise
Mdtinany of the hundred papers
ay client was adrertlilng In. Blue
taee I have made these experlmeaw
aaany timet, unlil I believe I have a
right to claim that the experiment
baa passed Into tnct.NaWl 0. Foyeltr,
Jr., Admitting Exprt
Ta Cooaraa to the faverHe Journal
aaaeagthe ladle of Lincoln and adjacent
exairy. Plant your annouacaswst la. Its
i aad reau best reealts.
Mtemtemitr that the
rowto to Chicago from JMttMif
(through Omaha) is
vUkth4 Beck Jdand."
Th Dining Cain qre oil
new and elegant the
tervice everybody kuow$
U the to to
the UniUd jftrtM.
Hmve newer nnd better Sleeper
tMMMMVMiv sIMgf sO$CgG9p
beet Meeilning Chair Cart,
nnd bhb train is new 0nti th
WMUMtnvCv IfiWl fllHv JfWVwww I
lAneein to Chicago (vim OmmhmX
Mf you want to be
convinced of this fact,
compare it wifh other
catted Antedate lines
Tickets for sale by
CUA8. RUTHERFORD,
City 1'atwcnger Agent,
In the Hotel "Lincoln."
Tho doctor answered in the affirmative.
"Well," said the blacksmith, patting tho
mare's neck and looking into vacancy with
a pleased expression, as If ho were living
over again some plcaunt scene, "Uiey got
her out, preacher, and run her anyway."
Then, as If to make the matter all right
with the owner, ho looked up Into his f".
with a smllo and an emphatic nod as liu
added, "And, preacher, she beat, sho did.
Ho won bis mouoy," Vouth'aCompaiilou.
Went Hack to lint 1'rlnclplrs.
Tho car driver was singing n hymn.
"lam glad," said tho lienuvoleiit looking
old gentleman standing on tho front plat
form, with a omlle, "to notice that there Is
ono man at least who does not think It
necessary to resort to abuse and hideous
profanity In order to drlvo a team of
mules."
Tho driver continued to slug:
Is this lle world a friend to (,'rncu.
To help
The off mult set Its ears buck and began
to slacken Its pace.
The driver looked to see if his whip wax
In place. It was. Ho began again:
Is this vlto world a friend to grneo-Rct up!
To help mo oil-get n move on you!
The mule jogged on at a slightly acceler
ated rate of speed, and tho driver resumed
his singing:
Is this vlloMnild g'lanu!-a friend to grnco.
to uelp mo on to
Whack!
Is this vile world whockl-a friend to itriico,
To whackt-lielp mo ou to
"Gaul darn that dog blamed whack
off mule to dog gone nation! Daddledy
dig bang his everlasting picture to
Whack! Whack! Whackl-St. Loula and
back I Blast his whack I blamed old
hide"
lint tho horror stricken old gentleman
bad got off tho car. Chicago Tribune.
BE A MAN
aVNU WAS A rOTECT MAN.
rear ist is rsssi i-naitaiiis m wasi
Is HilWi urn tt lwi Stimuli mn Usa
A Blight Error.
lie enmo into tho counting room nnd left
an advertisement which readi
"Ten lady typewriters wanted; state
wages. Apply by letter to A. II. & Co."
Then he Wont out, and four days later he
came back.
"What's the matter with the paper?" he
naked the clerk.
"Nothing that I know of."
"Did you put that ad. of mine in?"
"Of course. Didn't you see It?"
"No; 1 haven't had time to look It up, but
I haven't had a slngls'reply. Are you sure
you put It in?"
. The clerk got down tho file and turned
to the "wants."
"There It Is," he' said, whirling the pa
per around so the advertiser could see it.
He read It over carefully and his face
lighted up.
"No wonder I didn't get any answers,"
he said curtly.
"What's the matter with It?" asked the
clerk, haullug It around before him.
"Read It," coniniaisled the advertiser,
nnd the clerk read:
Ten lady type writers wanted; state ages.
Apply by letter to A. D. & Co.
The clerk apologized, made the correc
tion and next day the advertiser received
ninety-nine replies and they aro still com
ing. Detroit Free Press.
EA
J"fJj
m
UlRV
lu b'i V-i
II l l (
s' mf ,n
ft ktyi u Milk w Mi u StMfe.
iteasos ta U mmtt.
VWNI MINOR OLD.
Mttrifts tnn ninnili
SXMTY, ( II
Itntel KSSSSSM,
. tvlfst. r
KSSSS. CMM
ItALTB MS
f STSOSS
est Imr f asUsss.
Uu
I, Mtstol
ITI. SV
sartaasea
gvsBWW wet w
k ISKI'VI
IBM. Ska Ma
Nt clslm by jsr.ri of prkellca by
mr rieluuva Bncthodt a uniform
"at oaoroLT at BveessS" la uest-
csll bumsm, WMtramiu
UtUssstslsa. TMtlmonls!s
from 10 Htstcs aBfl Territories.
I 111 nt paid, tore RaslUd time: art
irassas. rauiiaaMiauraesiBsasa
Tasaaajea riui assiWUH) Xkasiaaa
riVSALwrAtt:nV.
The Hideous Doubt.
IVB
Sae4 rosauioia to Joan sssisms. a.T. a.
m. at. M CMoaao. ninAi, files paw.
ejaas or aarae ou ererj dbim.
MB) aaak. uae or uojr
KVCHKat.
.&?iK,'i
' ?mb l WflEraBattt-
rsWfe-ttwJCi0eB5
ls. BaSTMBMBBBBBW yk MKA
laaw. JaMaiL i aaJMBBBBA HsM mmmb
saVXlY laValJr
She Yun have been calling on Mis
I'lankingtou quite often of ,late, have;i't
7 tu? Has slie always been at home?
Hi That's just what I have been woa-
ring. Mfe.
call with the money."
"Hut whero's my hundred?" asked the
astonished applicant.
"Tho Interest has nbsorbed It," respond
ed the money lender, with a placid smile.
"Ten months, you know, at 10 per cent In
advance. Didn't you say you wanted a
hundred for ten months? I think you did
There's your ticket. Thanks. Call again,
please. Wo are always glnd to assist the
needy."
The applicant was dazed for almost
seven minutes, then he walked out and
hunted up a policeman, Detroit Frie
Press.
IMrtutiMl.
Shu was a sweet young girl. She kuew
that ho had como to promise, and therefore
sho was very careful to act as though she
did not know It.
Ho was a very matter of fact man who
had made his money by getting tho best of
other pcoplu whenever ho could In busi
ness, and ho had certain fixed habits and a
tendency toward preoccupation. Upon ills
covering himself aloiio in a room with a
sweet Young girl ho thought himself In his
ofllcu with his typewriter. Nevertheless
he had put olT getting tho better of another
man in order to call and propose, and he
knew that he Intended to proposo right
there. This Is how he did it:
".Miss Nellie Betemup (comma) 185 Glad
Isou avenue (comma) New York (period)
(Drop a line) My Dear Miss Oladlson
(colon) (Drop another lino and begin
twenty spaces from the left hand margin)
I have the honor to propose a matrimonial
alliance between our two families (period)
(Read that over again please that will do
now again) Inasmuch as you are the
only unmarried inemlier of your family
and I of mine I guess wo are elected (pe
riod) Is it a go (question mark) (Drop a
line) Yours truly (comma) John Smith
(period)"
The sweet young girl declined Mr. Smith.
-Life.
Too Much Variety.
"Ma," said a discouraged little Maple
avenue urchin, "I ain't going to school any
more."
"Why, dear?" tenderly Inquired his
mother.
'"Cause 'taln't any use. I can never
learn to spell. The teacher keeps chang
ing words on me all tho time." Saratoga
Saratnglan.
Farmer Tompklna and the Cyclopedia.
A feller camo out hero todsy'o, showed a book
to me; '
One 'at I'd surely ouhter have twelve parts,
'ad one was free.
lie said ct bo'V 'twas sure to tell me all I'd
wanter know,
'N called tho thlnir a Cyclopco or ititbln kind
er so.
It seemed a party line otU book a rcg'lar sort
o' prize
Ontll 1 at him iut tIou, wheu I seen bo'd told
mo lies.
"Tells ev') thing!" )s I. "That's kwmI-Ih
fac', sir, that's tho best
Kind of n book I uvar seed, but I think I'd like
a tent
licforo I buy her. I.emmo seel What docs tho
volume say
About the proipects of the comtn year for oats
a ImyV"
I thought ho'd flop for lauuhln when I ast thu
feller that.
'Nwuen I at him, "What's tho Joke?" ho
looked almlKhty flat.
"It don't prognosticate," says he. "That aln'l
the p'lnt!" sayt I.
"What I'm a-ustln you Is will tho blame thin
propuesp
'N then hu turned the panes quick 'n showed
mo lots o' stuff
About Ktoiuluns, and a squib about an ear!
named Duff.
Dut when I ast htm If It told a euro for tatcr
biiK.
Ilu snld It didn't, hut It had a history of ruu!
'N I'll ho denied If that thoro book hu snld
would tell o much
Had anything on any pugu I'd over caro to
touch:
'N then-haw! haw I I chucked that pert ounit
sw lndlcr from thu place
So quick ko hadn't time to tako his smllo down
off his face;
'Nd after lilm I threw hU bau'n twelve part
' Cyclopes , .
My great-Krandfather's almauao's still koo!
eunutch for tnel ' - . '.
-John Keudrlck Uanifi lu Hurler's Maitazluc,
.n
Meb
Formerly Of HUFFMAH S RICHTER. 1039 0 iTXEFT.
NEW L.OCKTIOIS.
"Aha!" said old Curmudgeon, "that lit
tle rascal Peter is hiding something. I'll
question him. Seo how furtive his actiour
are!" '
-
Fret Work, Screens and Panels
CADINET WORK OK ALL KINDS TO ORDER.
Fall Line of
Always in Stock.
ARE SHOWN IN OUR NEW WAREROOMS.
NEBRASKA CABINET WORKS,
COUNTERS AMD WALL CASES. 1924-28 M Street
G. A. RAYMER &CO.
COAI
Old C What hnvo you In your pocket
there?
Peter Nothing, sir.
s !
Old C You have, you rascal, and
CANON,
ROCK SPRINGS,
PERFECTION,
DUQUOIN,
JACKSON,
HICKORY BLOCK,
i-Mtr &
COLOR
NEWCA3'
?kv
BEST GRADE OF HARD COAL.
Telephone 390. . Office 1 134 O Strtttv
"Ouch!
ter.
Ouch! Ouch!" Fllegendolllat-
Anotlier Kind.
you up at olil Jlmson's
"I saw you up at old Jlmson's Ia.t
night," remarked Smlthkliis to his friend
Douson.
"Aw, yes; I was calling on Miss Jimson."
"You were hanging over tho gate when
I saw you."
"Which gator" asked Dobson gloomily.
"Why, tho front gate, man; you haven't
forgotten, have your"
"I thought perhaps you saw mo when
her father wished inu good night. I was
hanging over his gait then. "Detroit Freo
Press,
What ll Wanted to Know.
Trovers I hear that you Invited Miss
Bumnilt to the theater thu other night.
Dashaway Yes.
Traers And she didn't accept?
Dashaway No.
Trovers You haven't got tho money
about jou.'hiivu you? Now York Herald.
BRONZE
Oxfords and Slippers
Are Correct for all Party and Dress Occasions
See Them at
ED. G. YKTES,
1120 O STREET
Uiiiu-reaaury i: lilrnco,
Kmlth You needn't tell mo that dogs
don't know as much as human beings. I
took Pouto to church with mo last Sun
day, .lones esf
Smith Well, sir, he slept through tho
whole sermon. l.lte.
tlie
EXPERTS CLAIM THEY ARE THE BEST
"THE RAMBLE R" leads them all
Wiciuta. Kan , Feb. IS, IrW.-Durlnglast fall anil this winter I exam
is I am somewluit I
leil
tins been a series of features which I liuvo regarded curefullr. The result
InctI into the construction and principles of the different makes of wheals
rlth the intention or ouying ono.anu as i am somewiniiinnte, weigninr
ss
the Intention of buvlnir one.
23u pounds the mechunlcal structure, mateilnl and Btreni
ill of nwhii
Road tc
Health
of mv Invrslmatton Is simply this: I have found to many sunerlnroolnta
in tho mechanical construction of tho ltumhler (aside from Its superior
beauty, arramtement or wheels nnd tho nniinerof iiiaktng frame) that T
am Hilly convinced that It Is thn vory best wheel on the market, and the
only miike I denlro to trust under my weliilil. I buck this slatement up
by placlnemy order wllh on for a No. I I minted 'Uro Humbler: desiring
thin tiro In Rome remieetj. over the Diineniiillc! but think the nniieinallo
the best In the class made, I am, yours very tuily. wm. J. Ilu
I am, yours very tuily. Wm. J. If uicuiNB.
E. I?. GUTHRIE,
Sole Agent In Lincoln. IE 45 O Street.
H. W. BROWN
DRUGGISTInFBOOKSELLER
Has the New Bobks soon as issued. A choice line of
Perfumes and Fancy Goods.
127 South Eleventh Street..
I
wwwmwmi
