Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893, April 30, 1892, Image 3

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The Next Number Especially GoedL
Town Topics
1'ubtlstied flrat day of IJecwtnber, MarcK
June and BefMtoaalMir.
ETrjr reputable newt Mid book
has It.
I'rlcc, single number, M CKNTH. 3.00
l'K.H YKAIt, poita FKKK.
Thin brilliant Quarterly reproduces tbo brat
stories, sketches, burlesques, poems, witti
cisms, etc.. from the back number of that
much talked-about New York Society Jounial,
Town Tories, which U pubushed icerWy. Sub
scription price, 14.00 per year.
The two publications "Tow Torsos" and
"Taijcs moM Town Topics" together, at the
low club-price of $5 00 per rear.
Ask your newsdealer for tfaeaa or address,
St Wst Md Street. S. V, City.
Santa Fe Route !
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe R. R
The Popular Route td the Pacific
Through Pullman and Tourist
Between Kansas City and SAN DIEGO,
CISCO. Short Line Rates to
Double Dally Train Service llctwecn
Kansas City and PUEBLO, COLORADO
The Direct Texas Route
olid Trains Between Kansas City and
Galveston. The Short Line Between
Kansas City and Gainesville, Ft.
Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple,
San Antonio, Houston, and
ail Principal Points
In Texas.
The Only Line Running Through the
Only Direct Line to the Texas
Pan-Handle. For Maps and
Time Tables and Informa
tion Regarding Rates
and Routes Call on
or Address
E. L. PALMER, Passenger Agent,
1316 Farnmm SireeU
W rruh Tm
FratHaa. fa
oihfr words, wt
Hill ttach yon
MILK, and atari
you In Initiates,
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Jou quickly how
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r tattle a day
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allajrte. In any
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you can com.
antnfa at bom,
.trlring: all your
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llo lha work.
I What waofftrla
ffw and It haa
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twr and ovr
fMiy li luro for
artrjr worker
fair to Itum,
JJotr-ff Liabili
ty rannlred,
JUaioutbta In
Mary for aura,
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n atari you,
ramUhlnf av
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Jitrtdrt farwird
H i , tnrentlre profrr". thai enriches all wnrkare. It Is
tilt rrrntett opportunity Uhorlnf ponpla tiara am
., N-htU tli lime. If' mf !, I'till pArdfiilnre
fri'f H'llrr Milia nt nilir. .Mr..a, ) vZO rifl 13
lTlSOV s ,.5ii 4SM, lNii.ii.itl,Jlluliie,
(Successor to Dr. Chnrlcs Huurlso )
Cures Cancers, Tumors
Wens nml Flstulns without ho use of Knl!e'
Chloroform or Ether.
OUlce 1327 0 Struct
Solentlllo Americas
Agency for
For Information and free Handbook write to
MUNN A CO.. Ml BlioAliWAY. Ntw VoiiK.
Oldest bureau for aecurlnK patents In America.
Krer j patent taken out by ua la brouiibt buforo
tbe public by a notice given free of charge lu tba
Scientific mxtm
X circulation of any scientific paper In tba
HPIoiKlldli UluatralM. No intelligent
mid ba without It. Weaklr. a.l.MH a
I I.W six innntba. Addreaa MUNJTA CO
I'vuiuusu mi liroadwar. New
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4 California Jury rimls the Judge Utility
of Contempt of Court.
Special CorrcKxiti(lcDce.l
Auburn, Cnl.,AprilS!J.-Tho Cniifor
nin jury nml thu Callfornin jttdgi' Iiiivi
not stopMHl their good work of dot i
ItulicrouH thingM for tho rest of tin wur
to Inttgh nt. Tho iluding of nn Aulim
jury is 0110 of their latest feiiUt of i.l
Tlio Southoni Pnciflo company, lui
lug lioeti much iM8tcrcd by brnku h u
tourists, got n Inw punned by tl.e I u
laturo milking it it criininnl ofTutu i
fitoiil tnuiHportntioii on n railroad ca
Tho first arrest wiih inndo in this low
when a brakuinau diHcovured a liiingi
and dirty tramp coiled upon the lira!,
beam, whoru ho had ridden ncrosM tin
mountains. Tho tramp was tried liufnn
a jury on tho chnrgo of having stolen i
rido on a railroad car, and the jm
after duo dolllwration returned a vcr
diet of not guilty UfaiiHO tho stole,
articlo was not found in his possession
Tlioro isono judgo in this country win
hns tho reputation of making the jurk'f
under him work very hard. Ho is u.x
tremoly sovero upon them, and no man
will servo a second time on n jury under
Judgo if ho can possibly help it.
He was holding court in a country
school hotiso and tho jury, who were all
farmers, began to bo very restive. Uut
there was not much prospect of their be
ing allowed to go homo for somo time
unless they took mutters into their own
hands. Tho judge's instructions upon
tho ciiso then tier consideration had
been plainly for n verdict of guilty.
But without deliberation they nbruptly
returned a verdict of not guilty, and
added that they had found tho judge
guilty of contempt of court nml sen
tenced him to bo confined in tho school
house for throo weeks. And thou they
madu a rush for tho door, locked it and
lied, leaving tho court to climb out at
tho window as lewt it could.
In another mountain towu not far
from hero there is a lawyer who is very
unpopular with both bench and bar ou
account of his domineering nml quarrel
some disposition. Co is locally famous
for his unusual faculty of browbeating
witnesses into saying things thoy don't
intend to say and badgering them into
tempers nml inconsistencies. Ono day
iio had in lmnd a big and muscular wit
ness, upon whom ho was practicing his
usual methods.
Suddenly tho witness stopped, deliber
ately took off his coat, squared off and
began giving tho browbeating lawyer n
tremendous licking. The sheriff inter
fered, and after a few minutes order
was restored.
Tho judge, a whito haired and usually
mild mannered old gentleman, was pur
ple with auger. Shaking his fist at the
eheriff, lie shouted:
"Tho next time, sir, that you inter
fere when anybody is licking that man
I'll fine you for contempt of court!"
F. F. K.
It Ilecnll Itemlnliccnces of Andrew John
son itud l'umou llrownlow.
lSeclal CorrcsMiudeuou.
HARRIMAN, Tenn.. April 28. East
Tennessee is rich in places of historical
interest, nml hundreds of tourists from
northern states make pilgrimages to
them. Elizabcthtoii, in the Watauga
valley, is ono of tho most interesting lo
calities in tho stato. It is an old towu.
started in 1707. Near thu villngu stands
tho modest homo of Andrew Johns
aud nn old sycamore tree is pointed
to visitors to tho town, under which
first court ever held in thu stato
held. N. G. Taylor and Luiidon
Iluynea wero lrn here.
Tliero is lin incident connected with
Andrew Johnson's death that has never
been printed. In front of his old house
runs tho Watanga river. The water is
swift und tho ford deep and dnngerous.
A man was taking a drove of cattle
across und Mr. Johnson, who stood in
his doorway watching them, noticed
that some of tho cattle were getting into
very deep water nml were in danger ol
drowning. Ho became somewhat ex
cited by his efforts to uttract the driver'
attention, and ids old neighbors say
that the exertion and excitement brought
on tho stroke of apoplexy that caused
ids death.
Just above the village on Doe river
are tho ruins of an iron furnace once
owned aud ojierated by Parson Brown
low's father-in-law O. Bryan. A large
treo is now growing up through the old
stuck. Eliznbethton used to be a tough
town, but a new generation lias arisen
and there lias bceu u marked improve
ment. Local optiou wus adopted ami
works well.
Every reader of war hihtory, ami thostj
who remember thu stirring events of
that period will recall the trials ami
dangers through which the loyal men of
east Tennessee passed. Near the village
of Elizabethton lives one of the bravest
und truest of those patriot Dun Ellis.
Ho is said to have killed moro Confed
erates with his own hand during the
war than any other one man. For more
than four years ho scouted through tho
mountains, often in sight of his own
home, und yet iu all that time ho dared
not sleep under his own roof. Ho piloted
over 5,000 loyalists to tho Union lines
during tho war, and was such a disturb
ing element to tho Confederates that
they mado u standing offer of $5,000 for
him, dead or alive. Dan is still hearty
and vigorous, ami talks about his thrill
ing adventures very interestingly. Just
below tho village is Sycamore shoals,
whero tho gallant Sevier and his bund
of loyal men rendezvoused before thov
started to King's mountain.
Mlcroacople Mluutiw.
Some investigator, with tho aid of a
powerful microscope nml lots of leisure,
has learned u great many things about
worms aud insects, among others that
the common caterpillar hns 4,000 muscles
in his body; that tho drono beo's eyes
each contain 1,1)00 mirrors und that thu
largo prominent eyes of tho brilliant
dragon flies aro each furnished with
38,000 polished lenses.
A Huts nt the Humbles,
Mr. Humble Aht How lovely the air la
this tuornlngl Mrs, Humble, there It no
time like the merry, merry spring. It Is
nil joy, all sweetness.
Mrs. Humble Yes, Indeed It Is, John. It
is so beautiful out that I think I'll do n
little shopping this morn
Mr. Humble Oh, theru ym got I no
sooner iM'glu to be happy than you open
the gates of Paradise and lot tho serpent
of shopping enter.
Mrs. Humble llo erawls over tho walls,
John, He Is the serpent of necessity. I
enn't wear winter clothing through tbe
warm seasons and thu children are simply
In rags.
Mr. Humble Tho hiiiiiu old plea. Those
children have three suits whoru I have one
Mrs. Humble Hut there aro three chll
dren, John, so why shouldn't thevf
Mr. Humble That's a regular woman's
argument, and I suppose you think It l
very smart, Hut I'll tell you, Mrs. Hunt
ble, when I wan a boy I bad to wear my
father's old clothes cut down.
Mrs. Humble Very well. If you desire
mu to, I will cut up your brown null
Mr, Humble Why, what do you take
mo forf My brown suit aud tbo ono I have
ou aro the whole extent of my wardrolto.
You must be cruzyl
Mrs, Humble It was your siiKuestlou,
John. You said your father's clothes were
cut down for you, and I simply took the
Mr. Humble Oh, yes, that's you all
over. Hlame It on mo. Wouldn't you like
to tako my fur cap and cut It down to
mako a sealskin saccpio for yourself' Or
my overcoat to mako a planocovorf Or my
old rubber boots to mako a waterproof
cloak for tho housemaid f You women are
always cutting down something to lit
something uNe except expenses. You'd
never cut down expenses to (It an Income,
I'll warrant.
Mrs. Humble Well, I'm very sorry,
John, but wo all need clothes, aud wo must
have them, now thai tbo spring
Mr. Humble Oh, bang sprlngl It's n
Is-nstly season anyhow. Hero's tciidoll
Mrs. Humble I don't want it, John. I've
saved enough to supply our wants.
Mr Humble Savedl su-uved enoughf
Well, I deetarol Hero I've been surapitiK
and scraping all this mouth to pay you
your allowance, aud bore I find you a
mill Hut never mind never mind. You
irritate mo lcyoud endurance, but I'll
show you an example of patient sulToring.
I won't say a word more and cr Mary,
you might get mo a red silk necktie while
you aro about it; and I any lend mo
twenty dollars, will your I haven't a clar
or a bottle of wine left in thu bouse. liar
Iter's Uazar.
Didn't Know Hint.
4 A w A
"Excuse me, madntn, but I think I had
the pleasure of seeing you yesterday."
"No; I never go to tho Zoo." Judy.
Itury Retorts.
The gift of quick witand ready resource
of language, necessary to all who would
bestow upon a wordy opKucut the retort
courteous or pungent, is a comparatively
rare one.
There are, however, tunny instances on
record which provu thnt somo persons have
possessed this gift iu a high degree.
John Wesley was once accosted on a very
narrow pathway by an extremely arrogant
clerical op)oncut, who said, "I never mako
way for a fool." Wesley at onco stopped
nsldo with a courteous bow, and remarked
as ho passed ou, "I always do."
A charming little story is also told con
ccrning Fontenello, who, when nearly nine
ty years old, uiim taking a walk and was
about to uis, without perceiving iier. a
lady friend Kjssossed of great beauty.
"A hi" exclaimed thu lady: "that is your
gallantry, then! To pass Itcforu me with
out even looking at mul"
"If I had looked at you, madam," re
plied the old beau, "I could never have
passed you at all."
The following true incident serves to
show how retorts of thu most caustic kind
may sometimes he uttered almost uncoil
bclously. A good IIvIiik but rather severe
clergyman, whose worldly daughter had
recently offended him by a fresh act of
misconduct, saluted her ono day with the
"Good morning, child of the evil onel"
To which came the natural but crushing
"Good morning, father!"
A pompous parish priest felt his dignity
greatly offended by a chubby faced youth
who was passing without removing bis
"Do you know who I am, sir, that you
should pass me lu that unmannerly way?
You arc better fed than taught, I think,
"May Ijo It Is so, inalster," replied ho of
tho chubby face, "for you teaches mo, but
I feeds meself." London Tit-Hits.
Male Vanity.
It was at a ball and thu subject under
discussion was vanity. A lady maintained
that men wero also given somewhat to van
"The men are ten times moro vain than
thu ladles," she remarked.
"That's utterly Impossible," said several
Tho subject was changed, aud a few mill
utes later tho lady remarked:
"Tho handsomest man in the room has a
spot on his white vest," whereupon every
gentleman within bearing glanced down
with a scared expression of countenance
at his vest. Texas Slftings.
At thu (Jlreu.
Masher say, is It absolutely necessary
that every clown should huvu such a silly
Clown Decidedly! Now if, for instance,
I had your face I would get my employer
to double my wages Instanter. Koluische
The I'roof.
Auctioneer This valuable antique arti
clo of furniture Is a Queen Anno chair.
Gentleman It doesn't look like It,
Auctioneer (angrily) If you doubt my
word I can produce the man who madu it.
Public Kurtunta.
Inquiring Child-Why do thu papers call
ofllco holders public servants
Mother Because they lire paid so much
and do so little. Good News.
llluatrntliiK n I'olnt.
"You don't know bow glad I am to see
you Interested In this noble work," said the
nctor, addressing tho Children's Foreign
Mission society. "These poor heathens
know nothing of oijr ways of llfo. Thoy
live iu rude huts, dress In tbo skins of ani
mals and never go to school or to church.
They have never heard tho blessed (losjs'l,
ami you can help to spread the good news
among them.
"You can scarcely form an Idea of whin
they nro or how they live," ho continued,
"Why, children, these poor iieoplu aro as
black as black or why, children, they're
as black as tbe ace of spades"
Two big bojs ou tho front sent snickered
and an audible smile ran through tho elder
portion of tbe congregation, while moi- Dr.
Tent lily got red and white by turns ami
gave out a hymn to relievo tho general cm
bairassineut. Detroit Tribune.
A HI un of 1'iirro.
Dentist And I can give you gas forn
dollar and save all pain.
Old Man Dobbs-Psbawt I ain't afraid.
(To bis wife.) Sit right deowu, Matlldy,
and have her yanked. Hliighamton
Ailviiuceil Miitliemntlca.
Few things make a man more ngreenbly
independent of other people's opinions than
a lofty estimate of his own abilities. Cos
sar Payson, a middle aged negro living in
a small .Massachusetts town, possessed this
soothing quality of self esteem ton remark
able degree. Ho was what Is called "a
good hand at odd Jobs," but his principal
occupation was that of a wood sawyer.
One day he was sawing wood iu tho side
yard of a favorite "ciistomali," and thu
ten-year-old son of tbo house was watch
ing him with much enjoyment, listening
at tho same tlmu to tho words of wisdom
which CiL'Hiir was always letting fall.
"I tell yo' w'at, Mas'r Nod," remarked
Ciesar, "I 'so paid n high compullmcnt to
yo' ma, coinln hyar today, as I done a
high compullmcnt. Psu done gone lost
moro'n fifteen dollahs coinln hyar today,
Mas'r Nod!"
"Why, how's that, Ciosarr" Inquired thb
boy, much impressed.
"W'y, yo' see, dab was six odor people
w'at wanted mu. I reckon dat 'ml make
fifteen dollahs, Mas'r Nisi. An I disjoint
ed ev'ry ono of 'em Jest fo' you mul"
"Hut, CVsur," said Ned, "you never
earn more than fc-'.fiO lu a day, and you
couldn't have worked for but ono of them
nnyway, could your"
"Mow old Is you, Mas'r Nedf" Inquired
Ciesar, pausing for a moment.
"Ton years old last November," said the
"An yo' expecta to uu'orstnnd all do Ins
and outs oh nrit'mctio at yo' ago, sonny!
Do chil'on oh do present ago is simply
And Ciesar resumed his work with nn
air which discouraged further questions.
Youth's Companion.
Too HugKCStlve.
Artist (for dally newspaper) Hero Is a
proof of your portrait as It will appear in
tho paper tomorrow morning.
Alderman from tho 'Stoonth Ward
What's all that behind thu picture
Artist That It merely tho background.
It is a kind of shadluu wucall cross hatch-
I ing.
Alderman Young mail, I don't want
anything liku that in my picture. Those
Hues look like an iron grating. Chicago
An eminent divine ou returning from
B , whero ho hail officiated at a funeral,
was horrified to find Ids sou of three sum
mers bad drowned two blooded puppies iu
tho bathtub, set at liberty several choice
canaries, smothered four kittens In thu ash
barrel, hung a pet rabbit to a doorknob
and beheaded a whole hnxsl of little, fluffy,
downy ducklings,
Tho reverend gentleman was filled with
consternation, but when sufficiently recov
ered to trust himself to speak, called thu
little culprit to him, where lay thu dead
victims side by side. "Sammy," said he,
"what Is going to be done"
"Well," after a slight hesitation, "me
sood sine a fu'nel sermon very 'prop'ato."
No Vt'uy Out of II.
Strawber How does It happen that you
haven't a dress suit, old man I thought
you bad one.
Slngerly I did. Hut I was travel lug In
n Pullman ear thu other day and gave it to
the porter.
Strawlier What on earth did you do
that for
Slngerly What else could I do He
found out that I had it with me. Life.
A Hint to Mover.
A colored man who was hunting a
to move into was asked If lie paid his rent
to his former landlord.
"Yes, sab," hu said rather hesitatingly.
"Can't you get a recommendation?"
"Oh, yes, sab, I can get' Mr. Smith, my
landlord, to give mo a recommendation."
"How do you know you can"
"Oh, I know I can, 'cause ho wants mo to
get out." Texas Slftings.
II ii ..An
Telephone 176 iTHSHgDfr1 -f3B
Bafla"1iJaHMrB TraW i'tF--"
Moving Household Goods and, Pianos a Specialty
OAlce 1045 O Street.
Yards 6th and M Sti.
'Phone 440.
German National Bank,
O.K. Montgomery, President.
Herman II. Hchaberg, Vlca Treat,
Joaspu llochmer, Cashier.
O. J. Wilcox, Atat. Cashier.
Capital . . . $100,000.00
Surplus . . . 30,000.00
Transacts a General Banking Business
(rhucs tettora of credit, draw drafts on all parts
of tho world. Foreign collodions a specially
Atchbon, Leavenworth, St. Joseph, Knnsas
City, St. Louis and nil Points South,
Kant and West,
The direct line to Ft. Scott, Parhonr.
Wichita, Hutchinson and all piiticlpai
points In Kansas.
The only road to the Great Hot Springs
of Arknnsas. Pullman Sleepers and Free
Reclining Chnlr Cats on all train.
City Ticket Agt. Gcn'l g int.
Truly, It was an cnchantliu:
novel withal, thnt I walked about
of all thu means which enabled mc to Intrude upon the fishes'
domain, until I was brought to my senses by a sharp jerk on the
lifeline, this being an Interrogation from Jack as to whether I
whs nil right. I answered lu a idmlhii way and, as I did so, a
fnmlllnr object caught my eye In Hie shape of the "Hurllngton
Route" trndc tnnr. It vns exquisitely painted on a little ledge
of lock and I could plainly rend the limning announcement of
their new express trains and the remarkable time being made
ft cried, "What enterprise! An
ft, noplace on earth or under the
road Is unknown?"
Our new vcstlhulcd specials, Nos. 3 and 6. aro among the fast
est and most luxuriously appointed pnstcuger trains In the world,
and arc deserving of hearty support and generous patronage.
The distance between Denver and Lincoln Is now covered In the
unparalleled time of twelve hours and ten minutes, while the run
to Chicago Is mndc In fifteen hours and fifty-five minutes.
These Trains, as well as our celebrated "Flyers'," are equipped
with dining, sleeping, chair and smoking cars, of exquisite design
nnd workmanship. Ilralns ns well as money was liberally used
In their construction.
Apply to nuont, II. & M. depot, or at the city ticket ollkc,
(U corner O and lotli streets, for
Gen. Passenger Agent,
N. B.-No Extra Fare is
Leave Your Orders for
Periodicals, Novels
and anything in tho Newsdealers and Stationers line at
Wessel-Stevens Printing Company's
Coal Co.1:
lu alt kinds of
scene, so bright, so beautiful and
with curious dclluht. foructful
advertisement even herd Is there W
waters where this wondrous Rail-
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further Information.
City Passenger Agent,
Charged on These Trains
1001 0 Street.