Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1892)
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1802
1 R en Saint Valcntlnel
Nut llioold Itntiinn altit,
Hattllng the iwiiili taint,
Scourged to tlio rod,
hosing bin howl,
In I lie Fhtitiliiluu Way!
Not imifli, nil. I shine
Inn different llni'.
Does thin Vnlt'iitlnul
Out among tlui Illtlo bl nit.
Nesting soon or late.
Von may see my skillful hand
Helping them tu mute.
In tho spring.
When the- sing
Solos nad ami lonely.
Then I call
Anil leuio them nil
Singing duets imly.
Thcu I shako that Illtlo stupid
GimI, whoso other namo Is Cutilit,
Ami 1 mako
Tim kid awake
To 11 pruxir sonso of illltyi
Ho lakes tils little bow
Atul arrows, ilon't joil know,
Gunning nftcr youth and boautyl
1 mil ixisted 011 Uivo's rackets,
Anil I llx up pretty packets
Of hearts nuil tlovos and clinging vlnre
Anil designate Ilium valentines!
Just it plain mul cheap ono hero,
Something line mid costly there.
Hut moaning iiolhlnit loss.
Whatever Iw tliolr dross.
To tho richest In thu ntnto
Or thu poor Itliout tho guto;
For l.ovo Is Lovo.
Hclow or above,
Anil 1 mil Itn Saint
From thu nges quaint
To this) very day.
When I nt'.y ill) Kay,
Anil 1 draw tin lino.
For I mn tho wholo world's Valontlno.
Will J. Uauiton.
A BTOltY VOll BT. VALENTINE'S DAY BY
V. A. UITOIIKL.
(Copyright, 18V.', by American Press Associa
tion.! II.. J i Ike Hull wiui
a soldier from
tin- crown of hla
rod liend, which
1 1 1 u minuted n
tho sole of his
south. Tin- war
was over mill
Iku hail thrown
off lilt uniform,
but it wilh an
other thiiiK to
throw off the
of ft warrior. Iku had U'cn a sharpshooter.
Often obliged to reniiiin for hours en
conccd bcliinil a rock or the brunches of
a tree, separated from his comrades, he
bod acquired the habit of talking cither to
hlmBelf or to the enemy liu watched, which
was even more absurd, for ho could hear
himself talk while his enemy could not
"Now, Johnny," Ike would say to the
Confederate lurking toget a idiot at him a
thousand yards away, "if you think you
can fool me by lifting that old brown hat
on a stick, you're mistaken. Perhaps I'll
Are at it and let you know where I am.
Guess not, Johnny. Try somo other dodge;
that one's played out."
Ike was nuver entrapped Into exposing
himself to a sure shot, so he was mustered
out at tho end of the war and went home;
though he was first sent off with Sheridan
to the Mexican frontier and didn't liecome
a citizen till the winter of sixty-live. Then
ho went back to the town he had run away
from to join the army four years before,
when lie was sixteen years old. At homo
ho found his cousin, John Hull, who had
meanwhile gone to live with Ike's parents.
The Hall homestead stood in the center
cf a yanl next to which there was n similar
place occupied by u family wherein were
two pretty girls. Matilda Dane, the older,
was as steady as Minnie, her younger sis
tor, was mischievous. John and Matilda
might have been neighbors for years with
out making each other's acquaintance.
Not so Ike nnd Minnie They were as sure
to become involved in a skirmish over the
garden wall as two newly met picket lines
across a brook.
Hostilities commenced on St. Valentine's
Day, Two valentines addressed to 1. and
J. Ball (both initial letters were rather an
I than a J) fell into Ike's hands. As they
were addressed to him, ho opened them
both. It did not require a fine eye to ills
cover that they had both been written by
tho same person, whom Ike believed to Iw
Miss Minnie Dune. He prociuvdtwovulen
tines and addressed them to Miss M, Dane.
On u blank page of one of them he stated
bluntly that Mr. 1. Hall had long desired
Miss Dane's acquaintance and regretted
that there was no mutual friend to Intro
duco him. Would Miss Dane forego the
accustomed conventional form and give
Mr. nail an opportunity to introduce him
self J In the other valentine tie Intimated
the same desire from Mr. J. Hall, but
tVigucd to conceal his intent under excea-
MISS MINNIE DANE.
Ivo modesty. The llrst ho sent to MIsji
Mlnnlo Dano, then waited till ho saw her
sister goout, when he dispatched the other.
As thoy wero both for Miss M. Dane they
fell Into tho hands of the wily Minnie.
Mlnnlo at once inferred that by colnci
dencc or by collusion each of the cousins
was endeavoring to make tho acquaintance
of tho girl ho admired the one Matilda,
the other Minnie, When tho second not
came in and fell Into her bunds she was the
most delighted girl In the town. "Now for
somo fun," she exclaimed, and at once fell
to concocting a plot which she considered
capablo of ambushing a whole regiment of
soldiers such as Ike, officers Included.
Ike received a note stating that Miss M.
Dano would forego conventionality anil
meet Mr. I. Ball "over the ganlen wall'
sbout dusk the next erenlng. He was
obliged to wait all day for another note
which to felt sure would come from his
cousin It came at hist and Ikenpprupri
ntisl It Miss M, Dane would meet Mr. J
Hall at the same time and place as his
cousin mid hoped ho wouldn't disappoint
her It was plain to Ike that Isith he and
John were to be drawn to the garden wall,
while the girl would doubtless oIimtvo
their mutual surprise and chagrin from
Home convenient place of coinealmeiil
"General I at," quoth Ike to himself,
"General U. S. Q. Hall Isn't going to lie
caught In a trap If ho knows himself Tho
enemy's cipher Is In his possession, ami ho
has taken down her dispatches, Her luteii
t Ions a i-o as evident to him as a signal light
on a mountain top."
On tho evening of this triangular ap
pointment known only to Ike and Minnie
Ike went to his window to recomiolter
"I'll just observe the enemy's movements
from this highly advantageous eminence,"
he remarked to himself, and he sat down
In tho gloaming to wait nnd to watch It
was not long before he observed a female
llgure steal through the Danes' sldo'door
and take xsltlon behind one of the pillars
of the porch In n few minutes it moved
cautiously forward and was lost behind
the chicken house.
"I like that," said Ike. "the new position
will unable me to cut olT retreat. There's
not a bit of hurry, general" (addressing
himself as an Imaginary commander), "the
enemy will wear herself out waiting ami
it's a pretty cold evening for lying under
arms. I'll take notice of the strategic
points. The problem is not to drive the
enemy, but to capture her. There's a Hank
movement by the well house, but this
wouldn't cut off retreat. There's the ilo;
kennel not ten paces In the rear of the en I
emy's works, adjoining the barn on one I
Hank and only a few steps to the arbor I
on the other Concealment is afford !
ed to an advancing force by the garden '
wall, which makes a convenient angle at
the farther end, protection being continued i
by that row of evergreens General! the
campaign Is decided upon. Column for
ward, guide right, march!"
Ike went leisurely down stairs, humming
"The Girl I heft Behind Me," and out
through the back do Stooping belli ml
the ganlen wall
he moved over
the route he had
laid out, and In
a few minutes
the dog ken
nel. There he
ly surveying his
Tho young girl
ing through the.,
slats of the
ears to catch the
So intent was
she that what
WHS going 011 lie- STANDING EXPECTANT.
hind her claimed no part of her attention.
Ike was so charmed with the picture that
lie was in no hurry to make her aware of
his presence. At last he gave an "A hem I"
Mlnnlo turned quickly around.
"I propose to move Immediately on your
works," called Ike in as awful tones as hf
The girl could seo her enemy's colors In
tho shape of a red head protruding aliove
the dog kennel and two eyes looking
straight into tiers. Ike looked upon a stir
prised nnd panic stricken enemy. There was
u little scream and evidently much trcpl
"You're cut off," from Ike,
"No supplies am be drawn from the
house, and you'll have to surrender or
"Your only move In retreat is between
tho arbor and this dog kennel, and I'll take
you in Hank If you try It."
Not eliciting m.y comment on this view
of the situation, Ike went on:
"I can't offer very liberal terms. You
see treachery is always punishable in war,
and there's a whole ammunition chest full
of it in this case. I'm going to order a
drumhead court martial and have you shot
for a spy."
The stillness about the chicken house
"However, I'll defer the meeting of the
court if you'll go and sit witli me In the
summer house ami talk over the terms of
There Was a spasmodic wringing cf
"Do you want me to call the corporal of
the guard and take you In for trial?"
Minnie placed her right hand couvul
slvely on tier heart.
"Well, If you won't come to terms 1 sup
pose I'll have to begin the attack. I hope
the firing won't arouse the neighbor
This was too much for Minnie. Gather
ing her skirts she made a dash for the space
between the arbor and the dog kennel. Ika
was there to meet her Site rushed right
Into his arms
"let me go!" she cried fiercely,
"Not without a parley." replied the vio
"You are a monster."
'And you are a beauty."
"No gentleman would act so."
"Ask my forgiveness and I'll let you
"Then I'll keep you under arrest. You
might try to ambush me again."
The hut tears were coursing down Min
nie's cheeks. Hut they were tears of an
ger, of mortification, and Ike knew it. Ho
did not relinquish his privileges of n con
queror for n moment, but he softened his
"Miss Dane, I've been watching you
through my window blinds ever since this
cruel war has been over
"Spyl" she hissed.
'Neatly turned Hut there's no need for
retaliation now i'et's come to an under
standing I'll bo generous. I'll surrender
to you I'll yield to that willowy llgure,
those soft eyes, those rosy cheeks ami ruby
lips." lie was still holding her tightly
clasped in Ids arms. "Minnie, dear, the
Gixxl Hook says, 'hove your enemy and do
good to them that despitefully use you.' I
love my enemy; It is for you to do good to
one who has despitefully used you."
Minnie had ceased to struggle. Indeed,
she might as well have struggled in the
arms of a grizzly bear. Hut her tongue
was free, and she made a goal light with
"Never!" she cried Indignantly. "If you
had sought my acquaintance like a gentle
man" "I'd rather not be a gentleman than miss
holding you this way You're lovelier
than a varnished rllle stock."
"And you have a head like a haystack
"And you have lips like cherries."
"Think of a lover named I. Hall, aol
tlth such an ugly gray eyeball at that."
mffln m HU
91ilt'l,&$,W"uu ""uwrni 4V'""
"You can make It a J If you like, you
don't seem to know the difference between
mi 1 mid a J, Hesldes you'll be a Minnie
Hall, and that's more deadly than an ICye
ball." The girl laughed through her tears in
spite of herself,
"Noverl never In the worldl"
"Now, really, don't you think It was n
little unkind of you trying to mix me up
with my couslnf"
Minnie felt guilty, but wouldn't own it.
"You see you might have raised a quur
rel, ami I might have killed J, or J might
have killed I, and we might both have been
executed. Do you know how they execute
soldiers In the army?"
"No, and I don't want to know. I .el me
goat once or I'll call papa."
"That would Imj the worst kind of stride
gy Papa would see you In your present
peculiar position and It would all come out
about those two notes you wrote to J and I.
Hut as I was saying, about executions In
"This Is dreadful, hot mo go, I say."
"Not till you own you've been a naughty
"I'm afraid I have been n little mean."
and she hung her head.
"Do you want to mako up for what
"Then glvo mo a kiss by way of atone
ment." "I won't."
"Just ono little ono will mnko It nil
"Think of tho enormity of tho offense
nnd that It will bo all forgiven and oblitcr
"I can't keep saying 'no' all day, can If"
Ike drew her lips to his and kissed them.
"You are an ungenerous, ungentle"
Ike stopped the word In the mlddlo with
"And I shall take measures to have you
"You're not playing prisoner right at
all," said Ike. "Prisoners of war don't
TIIKX GIVE MK A KISS."
talk that way They're glad enough to bo
taken alive." And he gave her another by
way of punishment.
"Do you mean that you are going to do
that every time I open my mouth r"
"Certainly I do. Discipline must and
shall be maintained in this command."
"Then I'll keep It shut."
"Now, Miss Minnie, listen to reason,"
and Ike, who had an intuitive Idea of what
kind of reason a girl Is most inclined to lis
ten to, set off nt a trot, telling her how
lovely she was and how badly ho had be
haved, but that he couldn't help It, seeing
how desperately In love ho had firilen .mil,
well, to mako a long story short, he con
quered a peace. Tho war was ended then
and there, and It must bo confessed that
there are no more battles for the historian
to record, for never was there such a re
construction as came to pass between these
So they were betrothed, and John and
Matilda declared that they had never seen
such a "spooney" coupla Indeed, If any
thing could have brought John and Ma
tilda together It would have been the lov
ers' example. Hut they were too slow
about it. Matilda was too proper and John
was too dignilled. So they put matters off
till they were a crusty old bachelor and a
htmperlug old maid, and neither ever mar
Ike Is now a rugged vet, with a grizzly
lieanl and a wife and a strapping boy he
adores; though young Ike declares that his
father trains him a if he had been Isirn
Into the sharpshooters Instead of civil life
The old soldier says "Ike. always be on
the lookout for a ruse from a girl. I was
too much for your mother, sonny, but you
see I'd Is-en four years In the sharpshooter
ami what a man don't learn about trickery
lu the sharpshooters Isn't worth knowing.
Never let a woman get a bead on your
heart unless you've hntl that same traiuiuf:;
and even then well I sometimes think I
got the lire lu my own busom after alL"
JZT '- JL I "V" "
(Copy -lli t. IK1U, by American Press Associa
tion.! We do not wish to bo considered Irrever
ent when we say that every saint, like
every dog, has Ids day If It wero not per
fectly consistent to mention tho dog and
the saint in the same breath wo don't ho
lleve there would bo such an animal extant
as the Saint Heruard dog or at least he
would nourish under a different name.
The fourteenth of February belongs to
Saint Valentine, and it Is quite as natural
to send and to receive valentines on this
day as It Is to setoff llrccrackors on the
Fourth of July, to eat roast turkey on
Thanksgiving and to loaf on I-abor Day,
As the valentine, correctly speaking, Is a
lovu poem, it seems dllllcult to explain the
existence ol the
popular penny or
for a cent, which
is sent to til sorto
nnd conditions of
men mid women
not with n view to
winning their af
fection, but as -i
means of making
with their defecti
and doing it In n
tu destroy their
im'iiiii of mind nnd
tiii: 1'i.uMiiEit. ;imku them I1M
happy for many days. As u rule they
would destroy the professional pride In
the bosom of ono usually considered a pro
llcient practitioner of his art.
The barber, for Instance, who shaves you
without tnlllctlng pain either with ills
razor or his Information is Informed by a
grotesque picture and a vilely constructed
verse that his razor Is liko an oyster knife,
and that lie should learn to handle It In a
manner different from that employed by n
mason lu the manipulation of a trowel, ot
a grocer In the act of letting the daylight
Into a box of sardines with a can opener.
The plumber is another opular target
for him who sends the penny valentine,
and lie Is represented as being anything
but honest ami conscientious. He is shown
in the act of smashing boilers ami sending
lu big bills for work that has never been
douo. The exaggeration of the situation Is
enough to make even a plumber laugh,
and the chances are that he does laugh,
even If it is a warm day upon which it Is
impossible for a pipe to freeze or a Imllor V
Our plumber has always done his work
well and cheap, and we think ho should
have a pleasant Valentino one that in
truthful mid calculated to do him justice
and make him happy in the knowledge ol
the fact that his efforts are appreciated at
their highest value. Hut we will address
It to the guild, assuming that our plumbei
Is only a fair specimen of this great. Impor
His heart Is sound, his band U strong,
Ills touch Is Mini mid true;
Oh, ulm h-uruilt" him I lie wealth
Thill's but his hnnei due?
I To smash your holler or jour plpo
Or tub be ne'er descends;
Ho never, never, never works
I For mercenary ends.
Ills work's llrst class, his bills aro small.
Ills credit's more than Iouk,
' Tho sunshine of Ills gracious smllo
Is like a breath of soiii;.
Wo glory In tho pleasant sight
That shows him In Ids prime
Out bnllhiK In tho summer yacht
Ho earned In whiter time.
Tho tailor Is an artist with whom oven peo
ple endowed with
the ordinary in
stlucts of charity
have little or no
sympathy. He Is
ded very much n
an ogre in n fairy
tale; that Is, nn
ture, In whose bos
om the Instincts
of a monster are
ever active. No
one has a kind
word for him any
more than a pirate
or a hack m an
Yet we feel it a
solemn duty to
speak of our tailor
THE TAII.oit. as we llml hlci
during an experience of a decade
Hero's a conscientious tailor,
And a tailor great Is he, v
Kit time merchant, truckman, tailor,
Cop and poet to a "T."
To the painter and the rector
He ulvca lots of time, to pay, '
t And ho sends no gaittit collector
v 'Hound to seo them every day;
Sprltik'luz liko a catamount
For h littto on account.
The oxMrleuce 1th the tailor Is not ol
r. 'A' Ti-'
IN THE MATTER OF
more unusual lumin In fact, not tuort
of an Arabian night III lis way tlpiu the
expei lentil wo have had Willi ourvegetnbto
peddler Wo have dealt with him for sev
eral years and
think he Is en
titled to a com
tine, if any human
being is, it Is ton
shleied the proper
thing to assume
that an eel Is as
slippery as a vege
table peddler; that
he Is the creature
that Is more to bo
feared than an
aichllcct, Yet. we
feel bound to say,
mid we take pleas
ure In saying, that THE VCCIIITAIIMC MAN.
our vegetable peddler Is a charming man
to meet, at least when upon Ills profes
sional ehailot, drawn by an old gold steed
whose ilbs piottuili! to such an extent that
by drawing a stick along them you uncon
sciously perforin what might be facetiously
termed an extemporaneous xylophone sola
This peddler never fumbles the potatoes
lu such a way as tu make you fancy you
are getting more than you me paying for.
He shakes them down honestly and does
not create a pyramid on top. They run
the samu size all the way through, nnd we
take pleasure lu saying so. Ami wo be
lieve other peddlers are quite as honestaiiil
worthy the eonlldence of the public. We
therefore feel that we are doing a noble
work lu thus addressing
THE VMIIKTAIII.K IMIDDl.Etl.
Vnur caMmui'S mid turnips,
Your salsify mul pumpkins,
Your silinshes and tniimtnei
Am itlwajs prime ami linn,
Your peaches and )our apples,
Your pears mid eniillllowers
Aro uer sweet mul luscious ,
And mellow as old wlno.
UitiK may yon wave and nourish,
Ir only for the measure,
The lirliiiiulnir, honest inensuro
Yntl to our patrons ulvo.
Your measures aro unconscious
Of liny thick, raised holloiui.
Oh, paramount peddlers,
UuiK amy you bloom mid live
In eighteen carrot rapture,
And spot rush custom capture.
That the comlu valentine has como to
stay goes without
beautiful from an
point, it could bo
still more beauti
ful if it but re
flected the truth;
and It should bo
truthful to be per
liiulient. What Is
all this earplug
nonsense wo hear
about the milk
mnn? Who origi
nates these would
be witty stories,
whose mission Is
to raise a laugh at
useful public serv
ant, and place his
within tho pale of criticism? Such jokes
as saying that It would bo more appro
priate to decorate his grave with water
lilies than with milkweeds, and that an
artistic as well as a proper trademark
for him would Isj n water moccasin and
a milk adder, Intertwined nliout a pump
hanillu, should lose their currency at
once. Wo believe our milkman to bo as
aire In spirit us the cream that floats upon
milk, and If his virtues could be con
densed mid expressed in one word, that
word would bu "angel." It is with a do
sire to do the right thing by this man nnd
his professional brethren that wo have In
dicted the following valentine:
AUIioukIi tho public howling
Upon j on loves to Jump,
I know your milk Is nuvur
Assisted at the pump.
You never All with wntcr
Y'our (Kilka dotted beovo
To raise her yielding limit
At oraliKu tinted eve.
Your ways nro over honest.
And us nu honest man
I Kayly drum your praises
Umiii this old milk can;
And trust that fato your cream Jug
May llll unto the brim,
And let you like a swallow
Tho sky of fortune skim.
it. K. MUNKITTItlCK.
Llf litoiiluu the llurdeu.
Cleverton Are you going to send a val
entine to Miss Summit?
Dashaway No, I think not. Her grand
father, you know, was a postman, and it
always makes her feel badly when she see
jC Urnsaut rrospect.
Clara Mr. Doubleday is going to send
mo a valentine Dear me, I wish he
Maud Why, 1 thought you liked to n
Clara I do usually, but he told me he
was going to write this one himself.
i.kr.t , -ii i ;vim
'iii- vnvHtr. i-
w u. ry - uav? v vr;
A (inn,! One on I'npit,
rtmro Is a story told of a veteran night
slll or who for some reason had a ciluplo of
days off. For years ho had reached his
home at about 0 o'clock In the morning,
slept until late In the afternoon and been
obliged tu rush off to his work. Ills Hill
dreu naturally saw but llitlenf hl'ii. On
tills occasion ho found It iiecei.s,ir, r-or-rect
his youngest daughter fm , m- fla
grant bleach of discipline, The rhitd
rushed to her mother. Hushed ui!i 'jllg
nation: "Mamma," she exclaimed, "tlmt man
wlv whiskers that sleeps here ihtytluiea
'panked ine." New York Mercury. '
A House Unlit mi isilliil.
"Have you promised to be his wife?"
"No; his llniieee. "-Life.
Able to Trnel Alone,
"How old Is that boy, ma'am?" Inquired
the conductor of a South Side suburban
railway train the other nioinllig, halting
in t heiilshi and adilrcssluga well preserved
and self possessed matron lu one of the
"I don't know that It makes any differ
ence to yotl, sir," she answered,
"I only wanted to know"
"You don't have to feed and clotho him,
"Certainly not, madam, but"
"You ain't takluga government census
of this car, aru you?"
"Of course not, ma'am, but I reckon I've
got n right to nnk you how old that boy Is.
"Yes, you've got the right to ask It and
I've got the right to answer you 'Tiiln't
nny of your business how old he Is,"
"Why, great Scott, ma'am. I'm the con
ductor of this"
"1 don't care If you're the president of
the road. What's that got to do with your
wanting to know how old he is?"
"It's got this much to do with it, if hit's
over live years old he'll have to"
"Over live years oliD He's over nlno."
"Then you'll have to pay a fare for hliii."
"Who asked you to carry him free?"
"Do I look as If I was a person that
would try to bent n railroad out of sovea
"Certainly not, ma'am, but"
"Then what have you been raising all
this fuss about?"
"I haven't been"
"I'll leave It to the other prssengers If
you hnven't. You've been asking Impu
dent questions nnd milking Insinuations,
and acting as If you thought folks were all
Everybody lu the car was looking nt her
by this time, but she kept right on;
"And you've waked up the wrong pas
senger this time. I haven't nuylsxly to
travel with mo but this boy, but I can get
along all right. I don't need any assist
ance from any one, ami ilon't you forget It.
Here's a ten rldo ticket. Punch out a ride
for mo and ono for him, and If you see ua
on your train again don't go tousklir; peo
ple's ages and making remarks. That's
"Yes, ma'am," gasped the conductor,
meekly punching two rides out of the
ticket and passing on to tlie next car, ut
terly crushed. Chicago Tribune.
Wliern Thorn's n Itlfferenro.
There wero only three people lu tho street
car, two men nnd a woman, and the wom
an was speaking her mind freely to one of
them and ho was not saying a wonl. He
was her husband. The other man wasn't,
mid over In tho far corner he was enjoying
the situation immensely. In a few minutes
the couple got out mid the conductor
passed through the car,
"Did you notice her lambasting him?"
inquired the passenger grinning.
"Yes; what was the row?"
"Oh, he'd forgotten something or other
she wanted him to get for her," and the
passenger laughed and so did the conduc
tor. "I saw something of the same sort yester
day," remarked the conductor, as a shadow
passed over his face.
"Funny as this ono?" inquired the pas
"I was the mnn," nnd the conductor sat
down lu the corner to count up his ticket.
Detroit Free Press.
One of Congressman O'Neill's Stories.
Congressman John O'Neill's latent: Two
evicted Hibernian tenants are standing
nenr the roadside, concealed by a thick
hedge from passers by. Kach has u double
barreled shotgun loaded with an extra
charge of buckshot. Tho weapons are held
in readiness for the tyrannical landlord,
who Is expected to go by every minute.
I loth men crouch witli knit brows ami
looks of dogged determination murder li
in their hearts and written lu their faces.
Tho minutes creep like snails, the mail
they mean to assassinate fails to appear.
The pale moon rises slowly ami cists It.
beam on the pair, but yet they wait.
Hour after hour goes by, and when at last
patience gives out and they deride to wait
no longer for their victim one of them,
heaving a deep sigh, observes
"Well, Mike, I hope iioihlng has hap
pened to him." Washington Post.
Illrds of it l'eatli-r.
The teacher had been giving a class of
youngsters some ideas of adages mid how
tp make them, ami to test her training she
put il few questions.
"What Is an Idle brain?" was one.
"The devil's workshop." was thu prompt
Then there were several more till tills
"Hirds of a feather do what?"
"Ity i-ggs," pljH'd a small Iwy befow
anybody else had a chance to speak. De
troit Free Press.
"Johnny," said the elder little brother,
"you must be sure nut to ask for any of the
wild duck twice."
"Heeause I heard father tell the com
pany that they would have a little gam
with a limit to lt."-Washlugtou Star.
Powered by Open ONI