I
CAPITAL CfM-V rnuPiEK, SATURDAY, DECEMMKR art. tXo,
s
vtr
.
11
(' '
.FROM TP CAPITAL.
THERE ARE SOME HANDSOME MEN
IN ThE LOWER HOUSE.
BIk Hrnrrnl :nitl. or Xi'H Vork, mill
itu itiir iiiiiiii i.utic iirn ciitiif. iii
Illinois mid III l i ut-liK .luliii ,l
Itu, llic HitninrNt.
Scclnl CnrrFN)iiili!iicvi
Wasiiinoton, Doc. 21. There nro
sotno lino looking men in tlio now home
of representatives. This Is distinctively
a smooth faced house of commons. Just
after the elections of u year ago noma
ono dlscovereiNhat in nearly every case
in which u licnrdluHS man had been
pitted against ouu with a heard on IiIk
face the former had won. At tho tlmo
this statement was generally regarded
as n joke, or as a conclusion drawn from
two or three instances, which In no wiso
established a rnlo. Dut when wo como
to look over tho faces of tho men scut to
TIIK LONG AND Till'. SHOUT Or IT.
tho cyclone congress It is plain to see
that in tho famous congressional fight
of 1890 tho hiuooth faced men had tho
luck and tho other fellows tho hoodoos.
Just how many smooth faced men thero
aro In tho houso 1 cannot say, but it is
cortnin that not sinco tho war has thero
been such a largo mrmbcr of them as
thero is today.
Among them nro some remarkably
fine looking men too. Faces sure to at
tract attention in any gathering are
thoso of young Builoy of Texas, Bryan
of Nebraska. Tom Johnson of Ohio,
Btorer of Cincinnati, Miller (tho Greek)
from Wisconsin. Fellows of Now York,
Bcott Wiko of Illinois, McUiuin of Chi
cago and many others unadorned by
hirsute appendages. It is a notoworthy
fact that, with a fow exceptions, ull tho
smooth faces aro on tho Democratic side
of tho hall, though both sides aro Demo
cratic nowadays, inasmuch as tho ma
jority members have spread themselves
over a lurgo section of tho space dovolcd
to tho minority. By arrangement tho
Democrats took possession of ono tier of
eents on tho Republican sido of tho hall,
and this tier is commonly known as
"tho Cherokeo Strip." Somo of tho best
men in the party sit in tho strip, apart
from tho majority of their friends.
It happens that tho biggest man in tho
houso. General Curtis, of Now York,
has ono of tho biggest beards. General
Curtis is a giant who stands 0 feet 0
inches In his stocking feet, and though
comparatively slender weighs 2r0
pounds. Sinco taking his scat in tho
houso General Curtis has been busy
forming anew tho aciiuaintnnco of men
who know him in tho troublous days of
tho war, and among thoso who have
taken tho big hero's hand aro many who
fought on tho Confederate sido. Tho
famo of General Curtis as a fighter
spread throughout tho armies near the
closo of tho war and has not yet been
forgotton. Ho was promoted four or
Bvo times for gallant services on tho
Held, was wounded in tho breast in an
eugagoinent in southwest Virginia and
lost an oye in tho charge at Fort Fisher.
An odd sort of friendship has sprung up
botweon Air. Cablo. of Illinois, and Gen
eral Curtis. Why they should bo drawn
together is moro than their friends can
understand, for they appear to have
nothing in common. Ono is tho biggest
man in tho houso and tho other tho
'smallest "tho long and tho short of it"
ono a Democrat and tho other a Re
publican, and whilo tho giant was a hero
in tho civil war, tho little man was not
old enough to fight with anything more
dreadful than lead soldiers. Curtis has
a long, patriarchal beard, whilo Cablo
has ono of tho cutest little mustaches
you over saw. The young Ulinoisau is
so slender and so boyish looking that ho
is sometimes called a dudo, but as n
matter of fact ho is a manly man, an
athlete, a great traveler, an adventure?
who lias known what it is to face dan
ger. Out in Uock Island, whero ho lives,
ho is known to ovory ono as Uen Cable,
and though a very rich man. being the
son of tho presidont of the Rock Island
railway, many of his warmest friends
and most intimate companions aro poor
young mon whom ho has known at
school or in business.
Ono story is told of Cablo which is too
good to suppress. When ho decided to
uiako tho race for congress in a district
which had previously given a largo ma
jority against his party, ho went to an
old politician and asked him his advice
as to how to carry on a successful cam
paign. Tho old politician gave him a
number of valuable hints, and added:
"Just ono word more. Ton aro popular
in this district. You can make a good
campaign. But there is one thing you
must do or Ikj defeated. It is a simple
thing, and yet 1 fear you will not do it."
"What is that?" "Give up smoking ciga
rettes till of tor election. Can you do it';"
Young Air. Cublo was silent for some
minutes. It was apparent that a strug
gle was going ou in his mind hot ween
tho allurements of a seat in congress and
the joy of cigarette smoking. In the
end ambition titutitplieil over habit, and
for sis weeks Mr. Cable Mas nocr seen
in public with a clgatotto between hh
lips. If he had continued smoking tho
people of that district would not have
sent him to cougrcs, where ho smokes
as many cigarettes as he likes,
One man who went away from Wash
Ington a year ago without n beard and
came back with one ou his face is tho
famous funny man. John Allen, of Mis
sissippi. Allen is without doubt tho
funniest man now in congress, unless i
now light of laughter shall bo discovered
among tho new statesmen. Since dorr
left tho houso and Sam Cox died Allen
has reigned supremo in tho realm of con
gressional humor, and ho is now fun
nier than ho over was boforo in his Hfo.
Usually wearing a slinplo tnustacho, ho
now appears in Washington with a black
beard all over his face. With this beard
he has had no end of sport. It disguised
him so that his best friends did not
know him. luuumerablo stories aro
told of tho pranks and deceits Allen has
played with tho assistance of this beard.
Ho has approached his friends in the
guise of n tramp and begged them for a
quarter, never failing to abuse them in
round terms when his demands wero
not complied with.
To Congressman Owens, of Ohio, who
was ono of Allen's fast friends in the
hist houso, tho waggish member from
Alississippi was introduced as a now
inonibcr. "So you aro from Ohio?"
drawled Allen. "Yes, sir." "Well. 1
never did have much uso for tho men
from that stato anyway." Of courso
Dwens fired up at this, "What do you
mean, you ratty llttlo popinjay?" ho ex
claimed. And as Allen, with a straight
face and a most provoking manner, piled
up the abuso of Ohio and Ohio men, the
amused spectators became somewhat
alnrmed for tho joker's safety, and final
ly found it necessary to roveal his Identi
ty to the irate member from tho Buck
eyo State.
Allen is in many respects ono of tho
most remarkable men ever seen In the
house. Ho is tho only man 1 ever saw
in public life who can carry on an argu
ment on any question under the sun
simply by telling stories. No situation
f.o desperate from a logicul ioint of view
that Allen cannot at ouco rescue it by
telling a story in point; no illustration
so cloudy that lie cannot summon to his
aid an auccdoto and make all as clear as
day. Ono of tho best of his stories is of
the last presidential election. Allen
chanced to bo in Now York city as tho
returns wero coming in.
About midnight it became apparent
that New York had gone for Harrison
and that Cloveland was defeated. Gloom
settled upon the little party of Demo
crats who wero assembled in Mr. Brico's
office. In a few minutes young Air.
Hearst camo rushing in with a telegram
from his father, tho lato Senator Hearst.
This dispatch announced that California
had gono for Cleveland without ques
tion. At this everybody present bright
ened up. Things wero not so bad after
all.
Only Allen appeared glum and silent.
"What do you think of it, John?" somo
ono asked. "Well," replied tho Alissis
sippiau, "it reminds mo of Airs. Kemper
down in my town. Air. Kemper had
gono to miming ou a railroad train as a
brakemau. a u d
ono day u dis
patch camo to tho
good lady from
up tho road that
her husband had
been caught in a
wreck and had
had his neck, ono
leg and one arm
b r o k on. Of
courso Airs. Kem
per was plunged
into griof. But
in auout nail an ,
hour another dis
patch cume, ami
as sho was a
bright, cheerful
sort of woman,
who always tried
to make the best
oven of ad versify. AU',:N' ':akd.
sho brushed away her tears and cracked
up a smile as she read tho messago to
her condoling friends and neighbors.
'This is good news indeed,' sho said: 'seo,
they havo discovered that it was a mis
take about his arm being brokon his
arm is not hurt at all.' "
Speaking of tine looking men, Air.
Shively, of Indiana, whom 1 once before
characterized in print as tho handsomest
man in congress, is with U3 again, as
handsomo as over. Ho is as modest and
as witty too. When somo ono bunt oral
him about tho reputation ho was getting
as a handbonio man. Shively retorted by
telling tho following story:
Once upon a time Lunham, of Texas,
had a competitor in his race for congress
named Davenport. In tho courso of tint
I campaign Lauham arrived in tho town
i in which his competitor resided and
repaired to tho hall in which ho was to
i address tho people. Davenport, with
the chivalry native to tho Toxau, volun
' teered to introduce Lunham to tho audi
ence This oiler being nccoptod, Daven
port proceeded in a most serious and
dignified maimer to pronounce upon his
competitor an encomium which, in tho
liberality of praise, fairly exhausted tho
' garuituro of eulogy. With a twinkle of
I mischief in bis eye tho speaker contin
( tied to ascribe to Lauham such a great
number and variety of virtues and per
fections that for a fow minutes tho vis
itor did not know whether ho was human
or divine. Tho keener part of tho as
sembly wero inclined to commiserate
Lauham ou the embarrassment of the
situation, but when Davenport finally
concluded ami introduced tho orator of
the evening tho latter folded his arms
anil said in tones deep, distinct and sol
emn: "Fellow citizens, every word which
my distinguished triond has told you
concerning myself is the ( lod Almighty's
I truth." Wai.tuu Ww.i.man.
A hanio factory In Traverse City,
Al ch turns out l.H.V.l haiucs a day. On
I that scale it is mi uncommon industry,
! hames lioing tho pieces of wood used In
tho collars of harnesses for druft horses.
iLJiT mti
ft I ff
f
k Jr . i
IT A BOKXEO RIVEN.
A CHAPTER FROM THE LIFE OF AN
ENTHUSIASTIC TRAVELER.
Iliirnrii l m Country WIhtii If You Would
Wiilk Von Mint (in In m Itimt Art'ltl
tri'ltir, Conking, I'UIiIiik, .Minlo Oilier
Mutter.
ISpvclul ('orrcnrHitiituiicp.
London, Dec. 12. Borneo Is ono of
thoso places where, as Paddy would say,
all laud travel must bo done by water,
for Stanley himself would llnd it hard to
force a way through tho bristling mass
of Impenetrable jungle too tough and
pliant to bo cut down mid too full of
moisture to bo burned up which fully
bears out tho eastern proverb, "An ele
phant cannot break it down, nor an ant
wrlgglo through It." In fact, tho thick
ets of Borneo, like thoso of South Amer
ica or Central Africa, may lie best con
ceived by Imagining u forest of inter
laced telegraph wires, relieved by an
occasional patch of llshhooks or of pen
knives. Thus, when you start on a journey
licau you hire a boat Instead of a horse
or a carriage, and inquire, not about the
stato of tho roads, hut about tho tides
I and currents. Your native "houso boat,"
j with a roof overhead and windows along
the sides, a cabin amidships for yourself,
I n small pantry farther aft, and a fow
i little rabbit hutches at tho stem for
! your Alalay crow mid servants, looks
! llko a cross between 'an overgrown gon
dola and Noah's llrst attempt at an ark
' overcrowded by a false alarm of tho
deluge. Tho only novel feature is a hugo
! staring eyo painted on each sido of tho
bow. since, as the Chinese boatbuilder
1 will tell yoi. "Boat no havo eyo, no can
1 see go."
Tho first twenty miles or so of the
voyage nro gloomy and monotonous
enough. Tho river seems to havo about
i a hundred mouths, all exactly alike and
1 all equally overshadowed by the bluck
funereal mangroves, which stand so
thick along either bank lis to give you
tho feeling of sailing through a monster
hairbrush with bristles twenty feet high.
The cheerless twilight of tho overarch
ing thickets, tho black, sullen, slimy
waters, tho close, damp, vapor bath at
mosphere, tho sickening order of mud
, and decaying vegetation, the sudden
starting up over and anon through tho
thick, oily stream of the homy snout
and huge notched tail of a monstrous
crocodile, all combine to make this part
of tho journey rather depressing. Nor
are matters much improved when you
pass on to tho swampy jungles of tho
fernlike "nipa" palm, which, however
useful in furnishing utup (thatch) for mi
i tivo huts and house boats, becomes rath
I or a bore when you seo nothing olso for
I twenty or thirty milos on end.
But by degrees tho gloom lessens, tho
! banks grow "high and dry," tho hideous
cobweb of swamp und thicket gives
place to tho firm forest laud, and at
' length, sweeping around a sharp curve,
1 you como ull at onco upon a view that
might make any man wish himself a
painter. A vast tower shaped mass of
sandstone thrusts itself out like a pier
into tho broad, brown stream, crested
along tho summit with noblo forest trees,
whilo tho successive lodges or terraces
of its steep, crumbling faco aro plumed
with magnificent palmlike ferns, one
sprig of which would havo covored Go
liath from head to foot.
In the base of this mighty cllfT, just
above tho water's edge, yawns a deep
black tunnel-like arch, all around which
Ho packets of rice and tobacco, strips of
dried fish, deer horns, "incenso sticks"
and tiny red and wlilto flags. Your
Alalay boatmen answer your inquiring
look with an oxiiressivo (restore mid tint
I single word "hautus" (spirit), these of
ferings being in fact a kind of black
mail paid to tho spirits of tho cave, who
might othorwiso play unpleasant tricks
on passing travelers.
By this time you will havo passed four
or five groups of rotting, tumbledown
hovols. which wero ouco thriving na
tive hamlets, for boforo tho coining of
tho English to establish order with a
strong hand, this whole district was so
mercilessly ravaged by pirates that it was
gradually forsaken by its inhabitants,
I most of whom havo never returned. But
as yon get farther away from tho sea
I inhabited villages begin to multiply,
j und a very queer sight they are. All
I alike aro built in the regular Alalay
i fashion, every house being a llttlo box
of bamboos roofed in with palm leaf
i thatch and raised high above the ground
ou strong piles, which makes all the
huts look as if thoy wore walking about
on stilts. Tho only access is by a tang
i gaii (bamboo huldor), and in tho middle
of tho floor thero is always a largo
square holo, through which slops and
refuse of every kind aro ompticd on to
tho ground below, till by degrees thero
forms underneath the houso a perfect
lake of miscellaneous filth, of which, aa
tho Scottish gamekeeper said of his mas
ter's shooting. "Tho moro said tho lent
tho better."
Nor is tho cookery of this strango re
gion less primitive than its architecture.
Half way up tho river you aro regaled
by a hospitable penghulu (ii.Uivo chief)
with a huge "chunk" of queer looking
bluish-brown meat mixed with yellow
fat, which tastes a good deal like rather
gamy pork, but finally turns out to bo
rhinoceros, a kind of beef which (as any
one who has lieen in south Africa will
admit; is not so bad when nothing bet
ter can bo got. A little farther on you
fall in with another national dish which
is oven more remarkable At one of tho
riverside villages two men como on
Isiard with a rather tough steak smell
ing strongly of musk, which they pro
fcont to you as "eekan bezar" (big fish),
And a very big fish it proves to lie, for
it is nothing else than crocodile, the
Borueans having apparently tho same
theory of retribution as tho Jamaica ne
gro: "Aha, imissul laud crab eat black
limn. Nehber mind, Black man eat
hoi"
Crocodile fishing is as favorite a spoil
in Borneo as salmon fishing iu Kurojw,
und ut ulmost every betid of tho rivei
you may seo one of (ho traps sot by tho
Dyak for his natural enemy. Thcsouio
us simple as they nro elfectlvo, consist
ing merely oi two strong polos, pliant
enough to bend without breaking, lashed
firmly together and set deep In tho bank,
To these poles Is attached a stout rope,
and to the end of this rope Is fastened a
short stick with both cuds sharpened,
and a dead monkey or something else
equally palatable fixed upon It by way
of bait. Tho crocodile, greedily swal
lowing the halt, gets this sharp peg stuck
crosswise in his throat, and Is then easily
hauled in despite all his struggles, after
which his captors enjoy a sumptuous
feast upon his flesh ami uiako shields of
his scaly armor. Among tho minor deli
cacies of tho Dyak bill of fare, snake
plo, stowed monkey ami eggs kept till
they can bo scented half a mile off hold
u prominent place. In tho far Interior,
however, where pigs are largely reared by
the non-AIitssulnian trllies of tho forest,
you can at times vary this queer menu
with a griskin or a spare rib, and, in
fact, tho one thing which still retards
tho conversion of (hose savages to tho
Moslem faith Is their reluctance to give
up pork.
In ono of the higher reaches of tho
river you espy a small object floating
down the stream toward you, which, as
you near it, proves to lw a pretty llttlo
miniature houso of the native pattern,
adorned with a prolusion of (Iny colored
flags and fixed upon a bamboo raft as
small as itself, the whole thing being no
bigger than a doll's house or a child's
"Noah's Ark." Altogether it is u very
charming little toy, but If you show any
inclination to seize it as It passes, your
Alalay crew wjll rulso their voices in
alarmed and clamorous remonstrance,
and tho tall, sinewy Sarung (native
boatswain) will say very gravely,
"Orang sakit" (man sick), and will then
proceed to explain that this llttlo bark
must havo been launched by tho friends
of somo Dyak Invalid in a village higher
up the river. In tho hope that his Illness
may float away along with It, and If you
meddle with It tho disease will Inevita
bly fasten upon somo one on board your
boat, or perhaps upon tho whole snip's
company at once.
About a mile farther ou there appears
suddenly round a sharp bend a real lan
tin (raft), such as one sees ou tho rlvors
of Slam many yards In length und with
a good sized hut in the middle of it
coming down toward us as If it wero tho
mother of tho infant raft that wo havo
just passed in hot pursuit of her strayed
baby. The presence of this strango
craft is speedily and ominously account
ed for by tho sudden shallowing of tho
river, which is so besot with shoals and
rapids just at this point that your whole
crew havo to leap out onto tho bank
and tow tho boat by main force, wading
tho rough, kneo deep and often waist
deep masses of black mud beneath tho
full glaro of tho midday sun, while tho
conMdorato sarang encourages them
with tho comforting assurance that
"even if they nro drowned it is only
nasseob (fate)."
When Air. Boatswain musters his men
nfter tho work Is over, you will prob
ably bo not a little amazed at the pe
culiar names to which they answer. 1
roinonilsjr having a native "boat gang"
on tho gold coast in west Africa, tho
roll call of which ran as follows: "Brass
Pan, Pea Soup, Princo of Wales, Red
Flannel, Duko of Cambridge, Bottle of
Beer, No Shirt, Bad Penny, Squint Eye,
Son of a Gun, Dovil's Father." But this
queer muster roll would pass qulto un
noticed in tho interior of Borneo, where
ouo is met at every turn by such names
as "Kuloog" (worm), "Ubl" (potato),
"Seeput" (sea slug), "Harlman" (tiger),
"Ular" (snake), "Rossa" (deer). "Bua
ya" (crocodilo), and "Pisang" (banana).
In splto of their queer names, how
ever, tho Alalay boatmen aro for tho
most part very patient, good humored
fellows, easily enough managed by any
ono who knows how to deal with them.
Many of them aro decided "dudes" in
their way, and thoso who belong to tho
government steam launches take great
pride in their smart dress of whlto trou
sers, scarlet cap, girdlo of crimson silk
and blue frock, with a broad white
"man-of-war" collar, thrown back over
tho shoulders.
They aro very fond of music, often
timing the beat of their paddles to somo
quaint old Alalay song, ami when thoy
havo brought you to tho village whither
you are bound und aro off duty for a
time, instead of going to sloop, as you
would expect, they often sit up half tho
night singing ami telling stories. Many
of tho songs aro improvised on tho spot,
and tho jokes and personal hits which
aro freely handled about on such occa
sions aro always received with hearty
laughter. Of tho stories, I translate ono
as a specimen of tho rest:
"Two men hud a riinputo about u wom
an, each declaring that she was his wife.
Tho ouo was a learned man, tho other u
peasant why cultivated pad! (rice) in the
fields. Being unable to agree, they went
to tho kuzi (judge) and stated their case.
It was a diflicult matter, and as if to
make it mote diflicult still the woman
did that which is hardest of all things
for women to do she held her tongue
and spake not a word. Then said the
kazi, 'Leave the woman hero and return
tomorrow.' They all salaamed and re
tired, and on the moriow ho gave tho
woman to the learned man, and sen
tenced the peasant to fifty stripes with a
rattan. 'This morning,' said ho, 'I bade
this woman till my inkstand, and she did
io like ouo well used to thu task, which,
had she been a jieasant's wife, sho could
never haw learned to do.' Then nil mon
wondered ut the judge's shrewdness, and
tho fame of his wisdom spread far and
wide." David Keii.
A I'iihI Hpt-iiker.
The Boston stenographers, do not like
to report tho sermons of Bishop Brooks,
Ho started off a recent sermon at the
rattling rato of 200 words a minute, and
ho surpassed this gait as ho got wunnod
tip with his subject. Four of tho stenog
raphers who had lieen sent by different
(Nijiers to rejiort tho sermon wero knockod
out in a few minutes, and tho othors luwl
to rest content with taking down such
tmssages us they could catch.
WISH I WAS
RED
CROSS
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143 South 12th .
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I
