Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 5, 1891)
'fibPallAR' PAPER 'oPAVopERti -TIMES " Vol.. O No. G2 Lincoln, Nkiiuaska, Saturday, Dicokmiiicw G. Je01. F'WIOIC KlVIC Cicnt a 1 y i . , ' fw5taari- ewfJ&K Tlio nnthunl republican convention, for which Omaha uinilu a big effort, has been fixed for Minneapolis, and it reminds ono of a Hcullar Btnto of things, Havo you heard of n half a dozen cities up in nrins to secure the uatioiml democratic convention! Havo you heard of nny contest whatever for tlmt honor? Tlio chances nro tlmt you haven't hcnrd mora than a mero "mention" of Its probable locution. Curious, Isn't It, tlmt there seems to bo no particular strife for the dcmocrntlu con volition I It Is sure to draw thousands of strangers to the city w hero it is hold nnd ono would mipikwo tlmt tlio hotel keepers at least and the saloon men, per hnps would bo stirring up a splendid con test for the prosiectlvo ducats. Hut they haven't, nnd, when you stop to think of It, if your memory ran run back over two or or three iuadrenula1s you will recall th fact that there has never been such a rivalry for the democratic as for tlio republican convention. Why Is it! l'crlmw you can toll, but wo will have to give it up. V You can now drop n nickel In tlio slot and havo your plcturo taken, nt least you can if you go to Chicago. You may lo Incred dulous about this, and so would I if I bad not seen it. Tlio contrivance looks like a box about the slzo of n cotlln set on end. Of course thcro is an opening for tho lens and tho victim sits on n chair facing that aperture. After the young woman has 'posed tho sitter sho drops tlio nickel into the slot and turns a crank. Thcro Is u fl'ith of electric light and the plcturo Is taken before tho sitter has time to wink. A piece of internal machinery dips the tin tyo for such it is into chemicals which fix the picturo and in about five minutes tho photo U finished. It is about twice tho slzo of n postage stump and tho novelty of getting It is its chief merit. As this machine requires nil attendant to ojiornto it it is not likely to becomo as numerous as tho other nlckel-ln-the-slot schemes. V There is an odd thing about Thanksgiving, too, if you happen to think of it. In nil civilized countries Christianity in ono form or another has such a strong hold that Christmas is recognized ns n national boll-, dav. When wo celebrate that festival wo think of it ns one that is being observed throughout tho civilized world and it gams Impresiveness from that fact. Ho v many people know tlmt Thanksgiving is peculiar to America? Inquiry of initio a number Indicated considerable iguoianco on that point, while others better informed thought it was celebrated In two countries, Eng land and tlio United States. Another pe culiar thing about Thanksgiving is tho fact that it was originated to displace Christinas. It was originated by tho l'uritaus who came to Now England well meaulng but bigoted old fellows. They thought Christ mas savored too much of popery and they ordained Thanksgiving ns a natural festival. If they had gone back far enough they might have discovered that the pagans had Thanksgiving festivals after harvest time but they appnrrently did not, nnd Ameri cans have two great holidays instead of one. Doth of them 1110 lino compliments to tho no ble impulses of the human heart. All of us nro in search of happiness, but very few find it. I onco knew a lawyer who ranked ns a brilliant man, had held positions of honor, was rich mid almost dictated tho politics of a Btate. Ho was ambitious, how ever, didn't get otlieis that he aspired to and became somewhat .soured. Later in life ho laid aside his ambitions, took u broad view of life nnd lectured to university students, preaching tlmt the great aim of life should bo the cultivation of amiability. That be came his receipt for happiness. Anilableuess, no doubt, is u desli nble thing, but I can't help thinking tlmt there is about as much virtue in this philosophy from u woman who bad seen n great deal of life: "When uny ono I know is rude or unkind to mo 1 mn sorry for that ihmsoii, but I do not take the net as personal. I attribute It to ill health or hick of training; but I never permit my celt to think that I can bo hint by it. When any one is kind or thoughtful, however, I take it as a personal compliment nnd mark of especial lavor. I suppose it is a very ego tistical way of looking at things, but I get n great deal of happiness out of my vanity. I go tin ougli life never feeling flighted or In sulted or wouiuled,nnd am constantly delight ed with the goodness and swoetuess which people bestow upon me." As tho (Into of the opening of tho world's fair appronchc sit becomes painfully appar ent that tho appropriation of $110,000 made by Nebraska is iiisutllcieiit to givo this state a representation worthy her gi witness. In the (list place there is the salary of tho commissioner-general and tho expenses ofl other olllcers to pay for two years. Then will come the outlay for an exiieuslvo build ing and tho 'cost of gathering tho exhibit. Of courso the gentlemen in charge will tuku precious good cure to make an estimate! of tho salaries and running expenses during the term of the atralr, mid tho bnlauco will he left forgetting together mi exhibit. No ono knows how much that balance will bo, but tho outlook now is that it will be less than half tho original appropriation, Nebraska ought to spend more money If it hopes to mukou ciedittiblo display, and unless she does make uu exhibit tlmt will command at tention among tlio thousand and ono other attractions ut the fair tho cash will bo well nigh wasted. An droit Is being madu to meet Clils emergency. Tho papers and prom inent Individuals aro pleading for another 50,000, mid it is not unlikely they will create a publio bcntlment that will compel tho next leglblatuiotoglvolt, V It is quite prjbable thero will not bo inmn tho;i ojio pr two important giain miy kots in ' Nebraska, markets whoso lniieetlon and prices will Iw recognized In other great marts nnd there- Is likely to be quite a commercial race to doteriulno which city or cities shall possess tho resultant honors and tho emolu ments. Lincoln got tho start by establish ing the first publio warehouse, and thou Omaha came into the race with a similar In stltutlon. Ilentrlce has Ihhmi talking of some thing of the sumo sort, but thus far it has not nmterlallrod. Lincoln Is making ready for another spurt by tho opening of two more warehouses, and it remains to be seen whether the windy city over on the Missouri w ill get a hustle or not. There Is mom in this Inspection law than ninny busy ooplo Imagine. Take, for ex ample, a case thnt occurred a few days ago. A Hiiltimoro firm ordered several carloads of No. U glulu. While it was lielng loaded tho eastern houo telegraphed forsmnples, which It pronounced No. ii or oven worse. Tho Ne braska seller telegraphed that the grain would Ik) sold subject to Nebi uska Inspec tion. It wasiiiqiecU'dasNo. 2 and was ue-copt-d as such by the Hiiltimoro buyer with out further objection. Under the old sys tem the Nebraska dealer would havo lieen at tho mercy of tho eastern concern. If tho latter had insisted that tho grain graded on ly No. !l tlio seller would havo had to accept the situation and lose eight cents a bushel. Tlio aggregate In tho euso Just referred to would have been about $300. Hut how nro tho fanners nnd tho small dealers In tho country towns going to farel Tho law will protect them Just ns It did tho dealer who shipped tho big lot to Haltlnioro, Tho seller in tho country towns will send his grain to tlio big dealers In Lincoln nnd Oma ha "subject to Nebraska weights and lnsiec tlon." In other words It will bo weighed and Inflected by ofllclnls npimluted by the stnto anil sworn to do their duty without fear or fuvor. Tho big dealers will havo no chance to cheat on weight or by insisting that tho grain Is of a pooler quality than it is. Then thero is tho public warehouse feature such ns that of Harris brothers In this city. TUeso concerns receive tho grnin of Tom, Dick nnd Hurry for storage This Is all In spected, and tho vai lous lots are dumped in to bins of corresponding grade. For exnin plo tho bin for No. 2 wheat may havo a mix ture of a dozen lots from ns many different persons. On storing his gruin hi one of these houses the owner gets a certificate that shows tho amount and quality. That certificate ho can sell or use It nt the banks as collateral for making a loan. Whenovor the holder of tho certificate wntist the actual grain ho presents tho little docu ment at the warehouse and the proper amount and quality of grain are delivered to him. Hero's our latest nnd it is tho greatest ovor made by any American newspaper. In this you will ceitnlnly agree with us. Hoo If you don't. Wo have arranged with a large eastern house who has a surplus num ber of the works of Chas. Dickens, Oeorgo Klllotf. and Win. Tlmckery, whereby wo can offer either of tho gro.it auth or's works and a yenis sub-criptioii to the Couiukii together for about the price of tho paper alone. In Dickens work we give the entho set comprising fifteen volumex in cloth put up in heavy boxes nnd tho Couiukii until Jan uary lHt, lb'.Wfor $5.00. Oeorgo Klllott's a orks in six handsomely bound cloth volumes In boxes and the Couiukii until January 1st, 18!:t for $: or,. Thaekery's ton vrlumes elegantly bound ill cloth ami tho Coumi:u until Junuary 1st lbU'i for $4 STi. These books must bo seen to Iks appreciated. They aro not cheap trashy productions, but neat and artisti cally gotten up. Wo invito you to call at this otlleo, 11!U N stiout, mid lir-pu-t these premiums either one of which are really worth double the entire price asked for the combination. MEMORIES OF FLORENCE. Anecdotes Illustrntlt of tho Clirncter of ThU Kindly, Much Loved Actor. Special Correspondence, New Yohk, Nov. 25. Scarcely any American nctor of this or any tinio was eo widely nnd so favorably known us tliu Into Billy Florence, as lib was gener ally called. Thnt lie diould bo so called denotes tho quality of tho mini, and the estimation in which ho was hold. Every body liked him, and with reason. I never know any ono to speak ill of him. Liko Dickens' Air. Twemlow, ho had 10,000 dearest friends, and ho deserved them all. His personal acquaintance in urent untuiu us well as in his own country was enormous, and included every class. It was actually beyond j enumeration, no was niiablo and cor dial to all, taking as much pains to pleaso a poor porter ns a prominent statesman or an English lord. Them was nut a particle of tho snob or tuft hunter in his composition. Ho was a democrat of tho true and best sort, and ft thorough paced American to tho core. "I liko to carry tho national bird," I havo heard him say, "on my shoulders in overy part of Europe, though I don't want to inako him scream unless thero bo occasion for it. But when ho screams 1 want to help him, nnd I'll go a note higher if lean." Florence was tho embodiment of gen iality, which was an essential property of his ami illuminated his entiro being. What ho appeared to bo on tho stage ho was in reality. Ono reason that ho played so well and bo acceptably is that ho eel dom personated parts with which ho did not fully sympathise, and which reflected his own nature. Ho was as much liked by his loilow Actors ns by tnoso outsiuo r of his profession being in this respect a uotabio exception to many or his calling, Two members of U craft, who frequent ly boasted that they did not nssoclato witli players, ho found it hard to ap prove, but still he could not hato them. "They've got tho big head," ho remarked ono day, "but they aro big hearted, too, nnd tlio latier virtue will in time no doubt euro tlio former diseaso." I remember, when I was a boy, (hat ho used to bo thought loss clover than his wife. That was in his jwriod of Irish melodrama, in which tlio whisky bottle and shillahih were potent ele ments. But ho was ambitious and steadily impioved, while sho stood still, and after ho had becomo a high tonn comedian they wero no longer compared, She adored tlio theater, liko most of her profession, and was positively unhappy when not filling an engagement. Ho was devoted to her, and I hough recog nizing her limitations never could bo persuaded to acknowledge ns much. Ho was kept back by her for years, and con sciously, becauso he was unwilling to wound her feelings by acting pieces sho could havo no part in, "Tho Mighty Dollar" was never to his tasto; ho know it lo bo unworthy of his flue talents, but ho bought it and pro duced it, becauso it furnished her with a congenial character. Sho wns severer in morals and judgment than ho, and prono now and then to censure his con vivial habits and lato hours. But he listened amiably to her reproofs; mado somo joko or told a funny story that sot licr laughing. Then sho would throw her arms around his neck nnd say, be tween kisses, "Well, you're a dear, good fellow at any rate, Billy; nobody could help loving you." They wero a most affectionate couple. Florence was eminently companion able to various grades of norsois. havlmr something in common with them all scholars, politicians, club men, authors, travelers, wits, sporting men, priests, epicures and philosophers. Ho loved company, and indulged his lovo freely; was a great diner out and giver of din ners; fond of cracking a bottle, and tell ing or listening to a good story after midnight, particularly. Ono who saw him so often at dinners, supers, clubs, entertainments, assemblies, would havo thought him wholly a pleasure seolcer. But ho found time, in spito of sticli ill. versions and 'dissipations, to read and study, as his conversation showed. Ho appeared to bo up at all hours, and yet ho was rarely a mlnuto lato ut rehear sal and was scrupulous In keeping his engagements. Thero was system in his conviviality, in his whole life indeed, careless and overstrained as it seemed to be. Many persons wondered how, ho got leisure to do so much, and do it bo well. "How do you manage it?" somo ono nsked him. "Easily enough," ho replied. "Tho hours I wasto after midnight I paste on tho next day and so catch up. Do you seeV" Ifo had a vigorous constitution, excel lent health, a light heart and a buoyant spirit, uud with these, as he was fond of saying, a man may accomplish anything. He was an earnest, ardent Roman Catholic, but did not allow his church to trespass on his mim-of-the-world-hood. His friends were of all creeds and no creed infidels no less than ecclesiastics and in his eyes they ranked aliko. Tho comedian, though quick of tem per and belligerent in his wrath, was I generally very amiable. Ho was very cnivairous also, tlcoften knocked down blackguards for rudeness to women, Iw ing muscular and ready with his fist. While ho had mado a great deal of money, ho was careless of it, giving or lending to any ono mid overy ono in need, or pretending to bo in need. Ho was addicted, likowiso, to speculation in I wall street, whereby ho lost much of course, llo probably left but little. Life he enjoyed greatly, and thousands enjoyed It through him. Ho was truly a good fellow, and will be sincerely mourned on both sides of tho sea. "Dear Billy Florence, I loved him," must havo been spoken by thousands when his death was announced, Friday morning, with moistened eyes. Can any man havo a moro eloquent epitaph? Paul R. Cixvjxand. Ills Wife's HuliltloHS. Friend If you havo so much trouble with your wife's relations, whv do von i live with tli'jm? llatework 'Cause my relations wont havo us. Now York Weekly. I.ud) Cmuiisseis Wanted. Ladies can make big money ml icitlng sub set iptlons fur tho Coviiikk. It Is a neat, clenn, nnntensational paper Mat commands tlio iei.poct of everyone nnd should lie In eveey home In the city. It is easy work nnd huge pay. Call at this ollhv forputlcuhirs Cionil (Mil I'usliloii I'oo tl. Aunt Woivlm.iii, nsiUted by her mother and two daughters will sono supper each day of the Uni veisallst Fair at MumiiiIo Tem ple, Deccmlor (lih. 10th ami 11th from a Now England kitchen In tho good old ctylo of our ginmlmothcis. linked beans, brown bread and doughnuts will li among the uxurlcH. Tho Hiuar, lOiill O street, is offering the dioicept uo titles i ir ihu coming Ckrutiuas Wedding invitations (Vessel Printing Co Jcffci sou's gicntcst admirers do not take kindly to "The HI vain." They like him best In "Hip Van Winkle" and "Tho Cricket on tho Ileal Ih," sketches In which Jefferson up ears as the central llgure. It Is true Hherl dan's comedy does not give tin great come illiiu much work to do; but for all thnt In the deft hands of the artist actor, "Hob Acres" becomes iidlstlnctlvely Ideal creation. It Is n clear cut cameo In u setting elided with Jew els. For Jefferson's suppoi tthiough out Is exreptloiutllv strong. That quality of pithctlc humor which has madn Jeffeisou's "HIp'Tamonson two continents, is pnent In "Hob" and the actor's marked iudlvldii nllty and subtle llnesso ilk) contilbuto their AUHTMAN I ortiou In making the diameter one of his great mrecs-es. Time has dealt kindly with the genial Joe. Each year has added fresh laurels to his wreath of fame, and the Might of mouths and j rain rectus, It anything, to refine and soften his already wonderfully delicate touch. The splendid audience at the Kuuke Monday evening saw the comedian at his licst, although he was suffering from fatl quodue to a long and Imri led Journey. With tho exception or Louis James wlio takes the place made vac mt hut u few days ago by the Jeath of W. J. Florence, the company is sub stantially the same as that of u year ago, James apMred In Lincoln hist season us tho star hi "Maclieth" and "Julius Caesar". Ills now venture in thu field of comedy I ad been awaited with curious interest, and it is a fact that at the outset most of tho audience Monday wero picjudlccd against him. Hilly Florence's shoes nro not easy to fill and Jhuich hadu dllllcult tusk to follow such u light. At the cloo of tne performance the Judgment was almost unanimous that tho iioviif) hi the purt of ".Sir Lucius OTi Iggnr" had hiiccciilcd, thai the tragedian had slid Into comedy graceully and easily. "Hlr Lucius" Is ii comparatively unimportant role and It ulwnjK seemed like hiding Florence's light under a Imdicl for him to appear hi that pint. It hardly gives an nctor oppor tuuity to show what Is hi him. James' llrst apH'iirauce on the stage, tho Interview with "Lucy" was exceedingly well done. Ho was a little wis.k In thu scene where ho ar anges with "Hob" forthoduel: but Is strong in thu duel. In one or two Instances ho be trayed utifamllinrity with his lines. In tin main, however, he did remarkably well, and he will cci tulnly Improve. Mr. Owen's "Hlr Anthony Ahsoluto'Mescrvcs high praise. Ho makes it a lending part. J. II. Huruc'"Cii'. tulu AbMiliito" was hardly up to tho standard of the other leading jsxiple. He was fair however. Viola Allen as "Lydla Languish" was as charming and giacefulas ever. Hhu is a beautiful girl and n capable actress. The featuioof thejeuuent piescntiitlon of "The lllvals" next to Jefferson is Mrs. John DiurtV'Mahiprop." Hheissiieib and her acting is a wonderful exhibition of feminine stiength. It is probable Mrs. Drew will not bos-en again as "Mrs. Mulaprop" as next year Jefferson will star it ulono. Jeffeison '"',l S!,H- 1)"w nro " lw,r ,,mt wi" '""K bo nlrtctloiintely remembered by dcscriiiiiim. ting American theatiu goers. Daniel Sully, who was formerly seen In this city In "The Comer Otocery" and more lately hi "Daddy Nolan," appeared at the Lansing Wednesday evening to a very largo audience, indicating that his admirers in this city am numerous. As "James O'HiIen" in "Thu Millionaire" Mr Sully Is seen at pnitlcuhir advantage. O'Hrlen is u fl round easy, genial, honest Irishman who woiks with a will and always (.peaks his mind. He Interpreted tho dmrcater with singular cam and naturuhiess. The piny is a trillo rougli but Is built liisin stiong moral lines and is one or the best or its class. In the rallioa.1 building nvne It becomes de cidedly stlrring.albell It keeps well aw ay from rlimp K'ntsitloiialUiii. The Mtpisiit, with the exception of "Mr. Lenox," was uni fonnly good, mid though ono of tho parts had to bo read, owing to tho Dlnets of Mr Sinclair, tho performance wag evenly given. The sceno at Hocky Corgo wns strikingly pIctureMjuo and the pleco was ciedltably pmsented nt every point. "The Million iilru seems destined to coiiMdornbly augment Mr. Sully's jiopulailty. "My former visits huve unfoituimtelv no mado it Hklblu for mo to make nmiiv er sonul friends uinong the Germans of Chicago'' will Theodore Thomas recently at a ban quet tendril d him lit the World's Fair city, 'anil when you now extend Ihehnnd of fellow ship and bid me welcome I am deeply moved nnd know how to appreciate it. I own that I longed fur a change from tho iiirioundliigb as I found them m New York, and lo may bo pro er to say right bore that mj NuwYoik friends wem iwuly to offir mo tho means to pumio my urtUtlc ends, but I never could, TIIH OM'icoino the feeling that these offers were of u personal nature; they wero made to mo peihonally, and not for thucnuno. I there foi e had to decline them, In n city like New Yoik thero never wllldio any lack of orches trnl hodliH, hut quality cannot I si observed unless tho moans nro offered to an artist to live solely for his art, I have, therefore, piefei nd to como west waril with full eonll deuce In the fresh mid healthy splilt which still pievalls hero and hiivn chosen Chicago In order to pursue lieucefoith my labors." The Kiiiiko enutnluist a small audience Wednesday evening when "Daniel II mne" was tho attraction, The play Is a senna tlotial ilr.ium of pioneer life, us Its name Indicates and It is full of blood curdling feats and thrilling situations. It Is little mom than a dime novel titled to the stage, Cheap sentiment Is scattorisl about pro iiiIkcuoiisIv and deeds of valor npoal to the sympathy of the god. Hearty applause was bestowed nt tllveis tlmos and the JUVKNII.K HAND. audience, knowing what to enjoy the play. to expect, seemed Tho JeffeiKiu Comedy Compncy, to fill Its engagement In this city, Juutied from Ht. Haul, traveling In u special train. Tlioy oxpecbsl to catch thu regular Hock Island out of Council muffs, but having missed It pulled into Lincoln on a special at S:0.'i p. m. Louis James had iipiNiurod as "Hlr Lucius OTwIgger' perhups u dozen times when "Tho IlivnU" was presuntod In Lin coln. Ho was engaged by Jefferson Im mediately ufter Hilly Florence was taken sick. Tho ari'iingiiiiiMiitH for the npcuraiieo of tho Austrian Juvenile baud throughout America wero completed by Mr. Hakely, while In Htoeklioliu connected with somo business relating to mi attraction for tho world's fair In Chicago, he having by acci dent heatd of this hand which was then ct eating a furore. Ho Immediately teeog. nlzed their splendid ability, and reding that the American musical publio would highly appreciate something as unique ns this, made a liberal offer, mid in face of many dilllcul tles tho band was flimlly engaged. Inmliert Htdner, thu famous leader of Vienna and Hamburg, has hpont years In training tho lioys. Their ages rungo from la to 18. Hteiner has tnnduii specialty with this band of playing the lighter Vienna music. Aside (foui this, thu baud poscsscs that iecullar qualification of playing Hungarian music as only Hungarians to tho manner Isiru can play it. Their hji refinances of tho wild csardas nro simply wonderful. Tho boys form a sort of nuito choir, mid in tho middle or a piece they lay down their instrumants and break into tlio sometimes wild mid some times pathutlo chant of the native Hunga rian. Tho effect Is simply enchanting. The management m ly esteem Itseir fortu nate in securing us tho soprano on this tour, Mies Matie (Hover. Into of tho Casino theatro who is thoroughly "ell known In mu-lcal circles In Now York, and wherever o'so she has sung. HI.e comes of a distinguished mil slcul family, being a grand nlecu of .Stephen Glover, tho eminent English couiKsei, a grnnd daughter of J. W. Glover, also a coin M)ser of innk, mill a nlico of Win. Glover. who is nt present the musical dltector of the celebrutod ( orl Horn Ukiii company of I'.ngiaini Thobnnd apfiears at the new Ionising next week Friday atteinoon iiiideeulug and prices will remain ns umiuI. The staid and ci iticnl I'liihiddphla Lodger says: "Gilnioie'sor Houwi's men must bo at their host to excel them." "Whether I power, smoothness, or llnhh, the baud is en titled to unqualified pnile." In Hostou the Tinmeript gives them the following: "It came, plu) is mid conquered. There can Ik) no two opinions about the qual ity of Its playing which Is tulinii aide lor ac curacy, splilt, and rhytlnule vitality. It is a gnat pleasure to listen to it. The bund ns responding to enwr-s pretty luueh all thu time" "llni I'muill,, I'.ixhlon Journals." These handsome fuh on magazine coiitin .uo to Improvuouch inunth in npjiearaneo and usefulness, The object of the publishers seem lobe In give American ladles real, neat, plain Firurli styles, Just as aro shown hi the corresponding original Flench million. Tho pages of these Journals aro not tilled up with any kind of cuts or fashion plati, usisl sole ly because they am cheap, 1-ndles purchas ing tho "Pavorito Fashion Journals" can rest assiuisl they will llnd nothing hi them ox cept the genuine I'lench styles, On going abroad they would also always llnd them Milvi'H "In the fashion" If they followed tho stples as geii by these Join mils. "Lit Mode de l'arls"iind "Album ties Modes" am each !tt cents er copy, or .'1.50 u year. "La Mode," the Family I'lishloii Journal, Is fifteen cents per copy, or f LfiOnyrar. If yournows agent does not keep tneso now Fashion Jour nals, do not let him petsuniloyou to continue taking any otheif. hut get direct from A. McDowell ,c Co., I Wist Uth Htreet, Now York, the best over published, lie Ashed Oun Question Ton Many, An old man was on tho witness stand, and was belug cross examined by tho lair jrer. "You say you nro u doctor, slrf" "Yes, sir; yes, sir." "What kind of udoctorr" "I inako liitmontN, sir. I make Int ments." "What's your ointment ifoml for?" "It's good to rub on tho head to strength en tho mind." "What effect would It hnvo If you wero to rub somo of It on my hondf" "None at all, sir; nonoatnll. Wo must have something to start with." QalUBVilla Eagle. j IU Idiot of Knjnymrnt. Thlggs-If you had about 17,000,000 what would you do with Itf Flstles 1 should build the finest, hand somest, best furnished, most elegant, mag) niflcent and yet homelike residence in Chicago, "Then whatf" "Then I'd I'd travel." Chicago Trib une. Not Iip Kniiiigh for Illru. "Ornspor Is undoubtedly tho worst speci men of meanness I over saw," "What has ho dnnu now?" "I congratulated hi in yesterday on tho beauty of the girl ho Is to marry, mid tho skinflint replied, 'Beauty is only skin deep.' "Capo Cod Item. Come Over OrcuslonBlljr. Stranger (on European railway) Ever been In America? Follow Passenger (stiffly) I visit th country sometimes on business, dr. I am the editor of a Now York dally paper. Chicago Tribune An Orlsliml. A child was asked what dust was, and she said, "Dust Is mud with the juice squeezed out." Tho same child said that "snow waa pop ped rain." Harper's Bazar. An Uphill Ilrlve. "How do you hold on when you drive up that steep hlllf" asks her mother. "Hold on to Mr. Daring," sho replied without flinching. Hlder nnd Driver. Mrn Settled. A colored philosopher Is reported to have aid, "Life, my breddern, am mos'ly made up of pniyln for rain and then wlshln It would cl'ur off." Presbyterian. A llruve Child. "Come, darling, you have eaten enough, of that cake." "Oh, mamma, I haven't dot thetummlck cho yttl" llevuo Rolsln. Kvery Mhii Will 8ajr So. Mrs. S. They say a mau never marries his first love. Her Hubby Ho can't. It would bo polygamy. Funny Folks. Upside Down. Tho acrobat's lot Is an unfortunate one, for no matter how much ho makes ho Is continually subject to reverses. Balti more American. Oh, How Short It I. Nothing so vividly reminds us of tho brevity of life ns a thirty duy note. Tcxr.'i Sifting. I Latest novelties in Christmas presents at th. Oreul lOo Store, 118 south Twelfth I stivet. Score Cards for Card Tunics. Wo have just plans) on mlo a beautiful now scoro card which is delighting all that have seen it. It Is now, neat and nobby and just tho thing for card parties. Wo also havo a uent cord nnd tassel Mich as Is used on ball programs which um much neuter than ribbons, easier ami mom quickly put on and liibtly am much cheuer and look better. Always call at the Coi-UIKU office before giv ing caul parties and we can supply you with scoro sheets and ti burning:) tlmt uro both or iginal and chtap. Dr. C. L. Snyder, Dental parlors, rooms 801-U03, Ifrnco building. Cor. O and 15th st. Ladles hnlr dressing, Miss Johnston, lilt O street. Tho celebrnttxl Egg Shampoo removes uanuruii ami promote the growth of thu I. ..I- L-...l.. .... in.. I ." . ion, uu niiu u)- .uiss doniision, UH street. O We invito attention to our cloak depart ment, promising to show the kirgest nisi most attractive stock of stylinh gunnenU over displayed in Lincoln. Our stock is made up from thu lines of several of tho lurgest mnnufactuiies in the country and wo think we can satisfy .any tasto. Veiy loqicolfully, MIIS.E11 , I'AIXU. Iirgo a-sortnieiit and lowest iuIiw on dolUand toys at tho Great lOo Store, IIS bouiu iweiuy binvt. M ifi..
