Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 1891)
Powered by OpenONI
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31, ibcjt
ISjV O J7
Nickel Savings Stamps
Good (or Depjlt in the Nebraska Sav
ings Bank will be found for Sale
at the Following Places:
Herpolsheliner A Co., Exposition Dopart
Clnson A- Fletcher. Wall Paper and Htattun
A. L. Shnder. DriiKs. Hooks, Paints, OIU mill
Notion. Fifteenth anil O.
llitldwlu Pros., Hardware, 1217 0.
McKenuy A Son, Drugs, Htiiuonery, and
Notions, 'J7I2 0.
Btclncr A Hchcilt, Dispensing DrilKKlsts,
corner Twelfth mid I'.
lljorknmii A- I.liul wnll, Druggists, '.Ml North
J. M. Ilrond, lrocerle, ele., fWd Ninth
I.lmloll Hotel, Corner Thirteenth mid M.
W. (lno Miller. Confectionary and Notions
D. .!. Hullo, Oenornl Merchandise, tic,
Charles K. MeMnrniy, Groceries anil Meut,
Chicago and Erie R. R
(r.:tn Clilcnvo A Atlantic K'y.)
n Connection w lib the
kohms jTin: :oni.y; use
Chicago and New York
Tho TltrotiRh Trains ot tills Line between Chi
cago nml New Yor are run solid, twin
avoiding annoyance mid confusion
orclmnvlin: ears or iuIs'Ihk
Vestibule Limited Service
Vostlbuled f.lmlted Trains, consisting of liiii;-
boko, HinoKlnu and Day Coaches, with
Pullman DIiiIiir and. Slcunlin? Curs
(heated by steam, llishted by bus),
over this Mnu3
Even- I)av In the Year.
Pullman Service to Boston.
A Pullman lluifet Sleeping Unr to and from
lloston tWIly via this route.
This Im tho ONLY MN13 lliiiiiilnit Pullman
Cars between Chicago and lloston.
BUCKEYE R O V T E
To Columbus, Ohio, and Ashland, IC.
Pullman Sleeping Car between Chlcngo and
above Points dully.
Trains Arrive ami l.oave Dearborn Htallon,
For further Information, call on the nearest
Hullroad Ticket Agout, or address
W 0 Btnearaoa, & M Tucker, D I Roberts,
Gen. Pass. Am. Oen. Mur. A.a.P.Aut.
New York. Cleveland. Chicago
Santa Fe Route !
Atcbison, Topeka & Santa Fe R. R
The Popular Route to the Pacific
Through Pullman and Tourist
Between Kansas City and SAN DIEGO,
LOS ANGELES, and SAN FRAN-
CISCO. Short Line Rates to
Double Dally Train Service lietvveen
Kansas Cilv and PUGULO.COLORADO
SPRINGS, and DENVER. Short
Line to SALT LAKE CITY.
The Direct Texas Route
Solid Trains Between Kansas City and
GaUeston. The Short Line Between
Kans.is City and Gainesville, Ft.
Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple,
San Antonio, Houston, and
all Piincip.d Points
TheOnlv Line Running Tluongh the
OKLA'IIOMA COl'NTRY. The
Onlv Direct Line to the le.is
Pan Handle Foi Maps and
Time Tables and Infm illa
tion Regaidlng Rates
and Routes Call on
E. L. PALMF.K. P.issengei Agent,
4 1 1 N Y. Life Building,
O JVC J X-I -A. , IK'S: 33 .
A FAMOUS GOOSE STORY.
Tliri Mixing l.rg ninl Muxr II Vh Ac
"Wust scrape I cber got Into with ile
Mnrsii John win ober lleuny. She wiw u
liarrlciiuu In deui days. Shu come Into ile
kitchen oucu where I was liulpln net de
dinner ready, an de cook had gono to de
spring house, nil nhosujs:
"'Child, what Jo cooklli dat smells mi
" 'Dut's n goose,' I niiyn, 'cookln for Mursn
John's dinner. We got quality,' says ,
polntlii to de dinlii room do'.
"'(Junlltyl' sho says. 'Spec I know
what do quality Is. Dut's for yon an de
"Wld dat sho grabs a carvln knife from
de table, opens dodo' oh do big oven, cut
olT a leg oil do koosv, and dls'poars round
do kitchen corner wld de leu in her luoiif.
"Fo' I knowed whar I was Marsa John
come to do kitchen do' and says, 'Glttln
late, Chad, bring In do dinner.'
"You see, major, dey im't no tin and
down stairs In do big house, llku It Is hcio;
kitchen an dinlii room all on do snmu Ho',
"Well, sah, I was scared todef, but I tuk
dat goose and laid him uldde cut side
down on du bottom ob do pan 'fo' do cook
got hack, put some dresslu and stullln ober
him and shet de stove do', Den I tuk do
sweet potatoes an do lioinluy an put 'em on
du table, and den I went back In du kitch
en to get do h.ikcd ham. I put on du ham
an some mo' dishes, an Mnrsa says, looklu
" 'I t'oilght dcro was. n roast gooso,
" 'I an't yord nothlii 'bout no goose,' I
ajs, 'I'll ask du cook.'
"Next inluuto I yerd olo Mnrsa n-hol-lerlns
" 'Mummy Jane, uu't wu got n, goosol'
" 'Lotd-u-mussyl yes, Mursn. Chad, you
wu'thless nigger, au't you tuk dat gooso
" 'Is wo got n goose?' says I.
" 'Is wu got a gooso? Didn't you help
"I scu wlmr mj liar was short, an I
snatched up a lint dish from do hearth,
opened du oven do, uu slide du gooso ill Just
as he was, an lay 1 1 1 lit down befo' Mursn
" 'Now see what du ladles'll iiavofor din-
I tier,' says old Mara, plckiu up his carvln
"'What'll you tako for dinner, miss?'
says I. 'Haked hum?'
" 'No,' she says, looking tip to wlmf
Marsii Jobu sat; 'I think I'll tako a leg ob
dat goose jess so.'
"Well, tnursu cut olV du legun put a llttln
stullln an gravy on it wld u spoon, an sayn
to me, 'Chad, seu what dat gemiuan'll
'"What'll you tako for dinner, sab?'
saj-s I. 'Nlco breast o' goose, or sllco o'
"'No. I think I'll take a leg ob dat
"I didn't hay iiullln, hut I knowed bcry
well bo wu'u't u-gwluo to git it.
"Hut, major, you ougbter seen olu inarsu
looklli for de udder leg ob dat goosol Ho
rolled him ober on du dish, dls way an dat
way, an den hu jabbed dat olo bono han
dled carvln fork in him an hel him up olier
do dish an looked under him an on top ob
him, and den hu bays, kinder sad like:
'"Chad, whar is du udder lug ob dat
" 'It didn't hub none,' says I.
"You mean to say, Chad, dat do goose.)
on my plantation ou'y got one leg?"
" 'Some ob 'em has an soinu oh 'em im'r
You see, mnrsa, wo got two kinds In i
pond, an wu was a little hurried today, o
Mummy .lane cooked dls one 'cause I
cotched it fust.'
" 'Well,' said hu, looklu like hu look
when hu send for you in de little room,
I'll huttlu wld yo niter dinner.'
"Well, dar I was sldverln an slinklu In
my shoes, an droppiu gravy an spliliu du
vvinu on thu tablecloth, I was dat shuck
up; an when do dinner was ober hu calls
all do ladies an gemmen, an says: 'Now
comedown to du duck pond. I'm gwlno
to show dis nigger tint all du gooses oil my
plantation got mo' dun oiiu leg.'
"I followed long, trapesln after dowhola
kit, an b'iliu, an when wu got to do
pond" here Chad neatly went into a con
vulsion with suppressed laughter "dar
was do gooses slttlu on a log In du middle
ob dat olu green goose pond wld one leg
st uck down ho an du udder tu der du
Chad wan now on ouo leg, balancing
himself on my chair, thu tears running
down ids cheeks.
" 'Dar, inarsa,' says I, 'don't you beol
Look at dat olo gray goo.e! Dut's de
berry match ob du unu wu had to-day.'
"Don do ladies all hollered an do gem
men laughed ho loud they jerd 'em at do
"'Stop, you black scoundrell' Marsn
John says, his face gottiu white an he
a-Jerkln his handkerchief from his pocket.
"Major, I hope to have my brains kicked
out by a lamo grasshopper if ebery ouo ob
'em gooses didn't put down do udder legl'
" 'Now, you lyin nigger,' ho says, ralslii
his cauo ober my head, 'I'll show you
'"Stop, Marsn Johnl' I hollered; "tnn't
fair, Han't fair.
" 'Why an't it talr?' says he.
" ' 'Cause,' says I, 'you didn't say "Shool"
to do goose what was oil do table.'"
I'nlil In Kind.
A Hoosler lad of twelve years was in
dustriously nt work upon a pllu of wood
in bis mother's hack jard, when ho was
uppioaclied by a playmate.
"Hello, Hen," said thu youngster, "do
you gut anything fercuttln thu wood?"
"Well, I reckon I do," leplled Hen. '.Mn
gives mo a cent a day fer iloiu It."
"What yer goin to do with yer money
"Oh, sbu's savin it fur inu, and w he 1
get enough hhu's golu to get me a new u '
From Mid Ktperlentu.
I ;i&. ,te1 r.!.. ... fl
Kb ..d' 1
. ii-'i-, ',.t .:, '
Hit o v..,, mv n infjrrr What u
splendid piofi inti'
He I'd lather he a eleigyniau.
lie Hi cause then no one would answer
I aie back - Harper's lliijir. ,
Ho laughs best who does not laugh at n
woman vv hen she thinks them Is a mollso
In thu room.
A rolling stone never "gets theiu,"
When a Muted husband comes In bytho
window a lint Iron Is apt to lly out at thu
A bird and a bottle In hand Is worth two
boarding house dinners anywhere else,
Every man's house Is his servant girl'
Thu rate is not always to thu horse you
put ) our money on.
A run In time saves the nine.
If at llrst you don't succeed, lie, Hu again
-Tom Hall In Life.
Tim Wruiitf Kind of Cupper.
"What Wrts Liomy's trouble with tlio
authoillles In Ituuier"
"lie was told If he threw a copper Into
the Fountain of Vrevl hu would return to
"Wlii'ii) was thu harm?"
"lie tried tn I blow a policeman In."
Rlii) (severely) -I have been Informed
that you Intend to give a bauhelnr dinner
to your friends on thu iluy liefoio wo mu to
be married. Now, as I understand It, a
bachelor dinner is for thu purpose of tak
ing leave of a gang of fellows whom no
gentleman would Intioducu to hit wlfo,
mid I should Just like to know why a gun
tleinuu should havusucli
lie My dear, you have been misin
formed. I haven't the least Intention of
giving a bachelor dinner or taking leave of
"Of course not. I shall meet them every
night at t he club just thu siimu as before."
A schoolboy of Incorrigible laziness sur
prised his parents thu other day on return
ing home from school, by proudly Inform
ing them that hu had secured thu prize for
"The prlzu for English grammar!" ox
claimed his astonished father. "Why, I
have always understood that you aru thu
very last boy In thu class."
"So I am, father," returned young hope
ful, "and It was really Dick Porter who
got the grammar pi 1e, hut hu left It In thu
train when wu changed at Chapman Junc
tion, and sol collared it sharp." Loudon
Heard In the Mulit.
"Mamma, please gimme a drink of
water. I'm so thirsty."
"No; you are not thirsty. Turn over
and go to sleep,"
(A pause ) "Mamma, won't you please
gimmu u drink? I'm so thirsty!"
"If you don't turn over and 'go to sleep
I'll get iipnntlspnuk J out"
(Another p-mse.) "Mamma, won't you
pleaso gimme u di Ink when you gut up to
spunk inuf" Life.
An ordinary tliuuderstorm is said to
travel nt thu average ratu of thirty miles
an hour. Of course, that Is thu plain, or
dinary thliudeistorm that mutely goes
loallug along for the purpose of souring
milk and committing minor depredations.
Tlit tliuuderstorm designed especially to
catch you out in jour now fall suit and
silk hat swoops along at a much faster
rate. Detroit Fieo Press.
She Could Walt.
A Tuxas lady sent her servant over to
thu house of a sick tieiphlior.
"Mrs. Smith Mituit mu over to ask how
your husband am conilu on dis inawuingl'"
"Very bad, Indeed. Thu doctor says hu
may dlo any minute," was thu reply,
"Den I reckon I had better wait a little
while, as I hasn't got iiullln elsu to do juss
now." Texas Sittings.
A Cletnr Child.
Gretchen (to her little brother) Do bo
quiet, HaiiHchen; don't you hear that
there's a visitor in the next room?
Ilanschen How do you know? You
haven't been In!
Gretchen Hut I hear iiiamnia saying
"My dear" to papa. Tagllchu Hundsclmu.
A .Serious Outrun.
Justice Stuffy What charge do yon
bring against this prisoner!'
Ollicer O'Toole Hu was staliu fruit off a
Dago widout pnyin fur it.
Just leu Sttitfy Prisoner, you aru charged
with Impersonating an ollicer, how do you
ple'idf Now York Herald.
Method III Nero's MudnitM.
What the Teacher Told Hobble-When
Home burned thu F.mperor Nero was play
What Hobble Told His Mother thu Teach
er Mild -F.mpeior Nero was playing a fid
dle, so the) burned Homo Truth
It Wasn't 1 hem,
A country girl wrote to her lover, "Now,
fit urge, don't vein f.ile to lie at thu Night
ingales' Hel i eat tonight" Oeorgtt wrote
back that "in the bilulit lelcon of youth
Woitester's I'nnbrlilged theio's no such
word as 'fiilo.'" Oncea Week.
A I'imllMll Aieidelll.
Friend Were theio any incidents in thu
foot ! ill game toilav v
Piayi i Only one A mule in an adjoin
inu tied In ike loo-e, got mixed up with I
the L-aiiic and was pietty badly hurt.
No ll.iuuer uf IIsn,
Iluelor It l a little dlllieult to diagnose
joilli.ise. I'elliaps Jou have been eating
l'atieii-imposhiiiie nils hotel ituii
on the F.uiopi an plan New Yolk Weekly
Nothing In I v., i.
Lad) Little is"), Uu't that jour mother
I.iltln Hov Yex'm
"Whj don't yuu nnsiver lier, then?"
"Ill 'I VH " lllHlll Nl'Ws
THE ARIZONA KiCKEH.
Niitliliic to rir from Toir Wo urn Nil
to (let Ihrrn.
Poult SIIOOTINO As we wore comlna
acioss the sand lotsthuntheruvnultig, aftot
spending a couplonf very ngreeahlu hour
attlmiulotm residence of thu Widow Jack
son, some would be assassin, who wasll)
hiding, 11 red sl bullets at us from a to
volver We think It was Tom Hlgelnw.
We think o because Tom hassliot ntuvery
body In town and never lilt any one. lit
didn't bit us Helug armed only with a
bowle knife, wu lit out us soon asthushoot
lug began, and the last bullet went tee
feet above our head.
We did think of hunting Tom up yester
day and splitting his ear Willi u bullet as i
great mural lesson, but on second thntight
we (.onuluded not to waste the time. Ilu'll
keep on hinting away around this town
mil II somebody gets vexed at the nolso ami
then he'll suddenly go hence Wu don't
want his f unci ill expenses on our hands.
IIi.'h A SlMlsritliiril Last week, as no
ticed by our coutempoiary In adoubluleadivl
in llelo with three scaro bends on It, Jhn
lleiislmw, who owns thu cactus much out
i. n thu Tucson road, refused tu take hi
ropy of The Kicker out of tho poslolllce.
Jim not only owed us ?1..V) on suhscilp
lion, but refused Ids paper to hurtour del
lugs, lie's been sine on us over since vvt
refused to lend him our white shirt tin.
onlv one in town to go on a drunk In.
We waul to show an accommodating
spirit toward all, and wu have tho namiiol
beluga good fellow, but wu wnnttos.iv
right here and now that wu believe a com
moii wool shut Is plenty good enough foi
any iiiati In tins town to get drunk In. II
It Isn't, he'd better stay sober.
When we saw Jim's little game w
mounted our uiuloaiul rodu over to Inter
view him lie was expecting us, Oik
bullet went through our hat and another
raked our mule, lint after that Jim hi)
down anil we dug the bullet out of his
shoulder ninl helped hlui Into his dugout,
lie not only paid us nil an ears In spot
cash, bill a dollar on advance subscription
null as soon us able to move about be wit
personally canvass for subscribers.
Wi: Siiai.i. (!i:t Tur.itr.. List Frlda)
evening we wem nominated for mnyor bj
acclamation, and this Is equivalent to nil
election We don't deny that wu sough,
the nomination We have had our eje ov
It for a) ear pist Wu shall also do oill
level best to snow our opponent under,
We have been moved tn this coursu by P l
desire to see thu town well governed and j
beiiillse we believe thu uiiijor should bt
the lepresentativo mini of the town, Wt
me that man Thciu's no use In lllllnu
ami hacking and talking about modest)
mill self conceit and all that. Wu lead tbit
town Wu know inoio than any ten men I
In it rolled together Wu shall maku tin I
best tua) or thu town bus ever had, ami w
shall see thai all thu city printing Is given
to Thu Kicker nt legal rates. M. Quad It
New York World.
An Auxloiia Inquirer,
Vulet Doctor, don't; on llnd thntniaa
ter Is growing terribly tlilnf
Doctor No harm in in that, friend; he
mis getting too fat. He will bo much bet
ter In health when hu ii thinner.
Yalet (disappointed) Very likely, only I
shan't bo able to wear bis clothes. Ho-
Why Hu llnd Unit.
A cute joung Detiolter fond of his hone
nnd fond of Ids joke was quizzing a quaint
old fell j v from tho country thu other day
whom In had met for tuu llrst time.
"I understand joti'vo got some pretty
good horses," lie veutuieil.
"Yes," said thu old ouo warily, "I've got
some good ones,"
"Not overly. You see I alu't raisin for
speed any more."
"No; why not?"
"'Cause there alu't much In It forme
anyhow. I done fairly well till about four
years ago, when I backed a line 3-thiee-old
agin a mule one of thu boys owned, and
fteucu that I'm kinder discouraged like."
"Hacked a lions o against a iiiulu?" re
peated tho young mail, Innocently sur
prised. "Jcs' so."
"And what was thu result?"
Thu old man's eyes twinkled.
" 'Bout what was to bo expected," he
aid with a chuckle. "Thu diiru inula
kicked tho 3-year-old full of holes in two
Fourteen men laughed all at once, and
thu llfteenth, who was the Dctroiter, went
away by himself for as much us half au
hour. Detroit Freo Press,
HARDY & PITCHER
- HAVE THE LARGEST STOCK OF -
211 South 11th St.
Moving Household Goods and Pianos a Specialty
Not for Barnum but for the-
Of the most llcgmu Building and Largest Stock of
liver Show in the West. It will Pay you to Wait.
A. T. Gruetter & Co.
13th between 0 and P.
YOU GET FITS
And the right kind as well, as excellent
wear and latest style in Shoes when
Parker & Sanderson.
See their fine line of shoes for
lOOO O ST.
LEAVE YOUR ORDERS
FOR SUNDAY DINNER,
AND THEY. WILL RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION.
Sutton & Hollowbush
Makers of Hon Bons and Chocolates.
Also Delicious Ice Cream and Soda Water.
IN THE CITY.
1001 0 Street
H t,J-"i' l