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CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER la, 1891
H-
1
-t
i
Mi
M
at
Chicago and Brie R. R.
(t,ato Chicago A Atlantic U'y.)
In Connection with the
Erie Railway
KOUMH TIIK ONLY MNB3
IIKTU'KKN
Chicago unci New York
Under Ono MuuuKcmcut.
SOLID TRAINS.
Tho Through Tratim ol this I.mo between Ohl-
cniro nml Now York are run solid, thus
iivotitlnit nnnoynnco nml confusion
orrlnitiKlnK cars or inlstlnit
connections
Vestibule Limited Service
Vestlbuled f.liultcd Train", conntsitint of llnu-
Kiucu, Hmoklint nml Day Coachos, with
Killnian UIuIiir anil HleopiiK Oar
(heated by Mtcnin, lighted hy kiii),
over this llno
Every Day hi the Year.
Pullman Service to Boston.
A Pullman Mullet Sleeping' Car to nml from
Moston dally via this ronto.
This IhUio ONLY I.IN'i: KuiiiiIiik l'ullmiui
Cars between Chicago nml lloston.
BJ3C22 3 3 J 2
fj"3To Columbus, Ohio, nnd Ashland, ICy.
Pullman Hlooplnu Car between Chicago nml
ubnvo Points dally.
Trains Arrlvo nml Leave Dcnrborn .Station,
UliKJA'iO,
For further Informiitlou, call on llio nearest
llallrouil Ticket AkciiI, or address
W 0 Blaeanon, A M TuolMr, D I Roberts,
Don. Pass. Aid. neii.Mgr. A.U.l'.Agt.
Now York. Clcvclaml Chicago
Santa Fe Route !
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe R. R
The Popular Route to the Pacific
Coast.
Through Pullman and Tourist
Sleepers
Between Kansas City and SAN DIEGO.
LOS ANGEitiS, and SAN FRAN-
CISCO. Short Line Hates to
PORTLAND, Oregon.
Double Dallv Train Service Between
Kansas City ami PUEBLO, COLORADO
SPRINGS, and DENVER. Short
Line to SALT LAKE CITY.
The Direct Texas Route
Solid Trains Between Kansas City and
Galveston. The Short Line Between
Kansas City and Gainesville, Ft.
Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple,
San Antonio, Houston, and
all Principal Points
In Texas.
The Only Line Running Through the
OKLAHOMA COUNTRY. The
Only Direct Line to the Texas
Pan-Handle. For Maps and
Time Tables and Informa
tion Regarding Rates
and Routes Call on
or Address
E. L. PALMER, Passenger Agent,
41 1 N.Y. Life Building,
OMAHA, 2TBB.
Ladies' an (Children's
Hair Catting and Shampooing
a Specialty,
-AT-
SAM.WESTERFIELD'S
BURR : BLOCK.
Ladles Use Ir. I.e Due's Periodical
Pills from Paris, Franco. That positively ro
Jlevo suppressions, monthly derangements
and Irrouulnrltlcs caused by cold, weakness,
shock, anomln, or Bonoral norvous debility.
The larto firoportlou of Ills to which ladles
and misses aro llablo Is tho direct result ol a
disordered or Irregular menstruation. Hup
presslons continued result in blood poisoning
und quick consumption, tl package or.I for
15. Mont direct on receipt of price. Sold
In Lincoln by II. V. llrown, iiruggiit.
H iiu tlittt forluneihfl'nmJil
woik for lit. y Aiwa Pal. Auilln.
rem, ami Jno llonn, Toledo. Ohio,
.ttttul. OiherMratloin.taiwtll Why
Aueitu,
o, Ohio.
tot you? Mom urn over ?"""
nuiitli You ciiirio Hi work inJ lira
Ul lioma, hervrrou tit. Lvtn b
J Itinera are mlly canilnir from f & to
UUilay AlUa-f Hfitiow you firm
and nan you van wur in i pi imu
oral) Hi !" Mia" money for hork
f alliirt unkntwn anionr thvm.
M'W .! wnti.lcrrul Particulars frfr .
iLIIulluUet; t,.,MMO,'4,,l,ul,l-,ll"e
FOR MEN ONLY!
For LOBTorPATXINO MANHOOD.
rjOineraUndNKRVOOflDKBlUTY,
IWeakneM of Body sod Hind, ElTecU
Liaf Error, or Kifei... In Old or Younff.
Ulibo.l, Nobl. HtMIIHIU fallr IL.Iorrd. How 1. 1 olr .ml
StrtIHtanKik,tMlr.)KMiri'lllllllltSHrilllHo(llllllY
Ibiolat.lr u.r.lll.l HUSK 1lmTJlkT-licoIIL I...UJ,
inWtj rron tu Sl.lt. J l.rrlira ( ou.lrlf . M rile Ikrn.
Utirrlplht Hook, rit,u..llua.u4)nur. piftllnl(t..lr(1)rrt-r.
Itinu IRIE MBOIOAL CO., BUFFALO, N. Y.
rejAijeftk.
w
1 i. w BV
AN EAST SIDE BALL
Mag llellly Preferred to Unit Until rHg
SIllltTCll Up.
Tho Swelled lloatl Juniors held a hall
recently In Pythagoras hall. All the clita
of Orchard and continuous streets were
present nml some who hoped to bo elite
when tho robins nest again, or at some
Inter period. Mag Hellly was thoro, but
her benu, I'rlg Kelly, was Into. Conse
quently Matt was that distressful object, a
wallflower, for ono miserable hour.
Mng suffered keenly, but nono of the
boys dared ask her to dune. They were
nfrnld of Prig's vengeance. At Inst n cal
low youth, who was a stranger In the lo
cality and consequently unacquainted with
Its etiquette, ventured to draw near to
Mng. lie wore a decent suit of clothing,
nml taken altogether presented a respect
able appearances Ho formed quite a con
trast In comparison with the rest of the
crow'd. Ho bowed politely to Mag nnd saldi
"May I have tho pleasure of a dance with
your"
Tho style, manner nnd address of the
youth staggered Mng for a momont. Bho
looked him nil over, from tho threo Inch
collnr to the shining hoots, and then ex
claimed In tones of withering contempt!
"Wlintl You dnnco wld mel Nnwl"
Just then there was a commotion at the
door nnd Prig Kelly entered. He wore a
red flannel shirt nnd no vest. Ills "pants"
were supported with one gallus. His
trousers were rolled up above his ankles
and his hat sat far back on his head. Ho
crossed the room quickly, throwing tho
dancers aside, nnd saluted Mag In a deep
baritone, saturated with whisky and plug
tobaccos
"Hello, Mag, mo Jim dandy crowj
whnt'ro yodoln here lallygnggln agin da
wall? W'y don't ye spiel ?"
Whllo these words still lingered In the
perfumed air Prig deftly drew from his
hip pocket a hook such as Is used by dry
goods men to drag boxes. Hitching this
Instrument Into Mag'ti bustle ho gave her
a Jerk which lauded her In tho middle of
tho room Tho exquisite strains of "Tho
Kiss Walt." Hunted down from tho ac
cordion at tho upper end of tho hall, and
as Mag's head dropped upon Prig's shoul
der, and his (strong red arm encircled hci
buxom waist, sho whispered In his large
ear, "Oh, Prig, this Is heavlnglyl" Er
nest Jarrold in Now York Morning Jour
nal. A Skillful Kluttorcr.
Bob Van Slyck called on a Madison nvcuue
family. In which there wero two old maiden !
sisters of about fifty years of ago. Van1
bi..i, u .. ..i.i f,i.i f , fn.tu. n,i
Slyck Is an old friend
of the family, and
ono of them being In
a bantering mood ;
said:
"Mr. Van Slyck, which of us do you
think Is tho oldestf"
Van was in a dilemma. Ho did not Ilka
to hurt tho feelings of cither. Ho looked
from ono to tho other and asked:
"You want mo to say which of you two
girls Is tho oldest?"
"Yes."
"Neither of you looks older than the
other. Each ono of you girls looks younger
than tho other." Texas Slfttngs.
Not to niarua.
"But, waiter, this omelette Is not fresh."
"That's not ray fault, sir. You gave your
order from that last week's bill of fare
lying there." Fllegonde Blatter.
Parlor Uravery.
"Yes," said Tommy, "I should admire
to bo a soldier, to car' a gun and sword
and lead my men through fastnesses Id the
mountains where the enemy lie concealed
two to our one, and we would die like he
roes with our boots on."
"Tommy," said bis mother, "go Into the
woodshed nnd bring ue an armful of
kindling."
"Will you bold the light, mamma?"
"What do you want of alight?" Inquired
his mother.
"I'm a-a-f-r-a-i-d." Cetrolt Free Press.
Parting Pangs.
"Goodby, my dear friend, I am going to
lenvo you. I am going to Canada and will
probably never come back," said a New
York youth ID Gilhooly.
"Shall I never see you again?"
"Never."
"I say, do me one last favor. Lend me
twenty-flvo dollars."
"Oh, no; don't let us do anything to In
crcaso tho pangs of our parting." Texas
Sifting.
liar Spub.
"1 hurt my leg." said llttlo Ethel.
"Dou't say leg it isn't elegant. Don't
you remember I told you the other day?'
said her teacher.
"Oh, yes. I should say my bough."
Now York Truth.
A Close Observance.
Little Girl Tomorrow will be Sunday,
won't it?
Lady Yes. How do you expect to spend
your tlmo?
Llttlo Glrl-Wlshln it was Monday.
Good News.
A Loter's Trjst.
Como Into tho garden, Mauil
I am watting hero alone,
And my heart crows warm for your presence.
lovo,
Thoueh my feet aro cold as a stone.
Tor tho dews are chill tonlnlit,
And tho brccrcs slmrpand bleak;
Oh, come, with thu clasp of your warm, soft
hand,
And tho touch of our clow Inc cheek!
KUo Is comlui.'! My heart beats litiru
As I hasten my lou to enct.
6Lo Is com!-.!,! My ulxc tuvrt tui thrill
At tho bound of her fairy feet.
Sho has stepped on thu imuuled walk,
And 1 hear tho gate njur!
Fly, lly to jour o er's arms, my owu
Jerusalem! 'tis her pal
Slum t A. Weie. In Detroit Ficu Press.
Tfca l.lht nf Hope,
There's r nice clerk In a certain Detroit
musla store, who Is not only n dreamer,
but of Into lio has become- very religiously
Inclined. Tho other day a pretty girl from
tho country came Into the store.
"Good morning," he said politely.
"Good morning," she responded. "Havo
you 'Whlto Wing?' "
"1 beg your pardon," ho stnminored.
"Have you 'Whlto Wings?'" she re
peated, "Not yet," ho answered meekly. Then
hopefully, "but 1 expect to have somo day,
miss."
Tho girl looked at him for a second and
hurriedly got out. Detroit Freo Press.
he Spoke Without Thinking.
This Ono Do you know, Miss Honoydew
er Dolly you aro tho llrst girl I havo
ever kissed!
Dolly (iucrcdulously)-Oh, Hint's Just
what they all say. Life,
lie Mndo n lilt.
I saw a good Matured mid innocent look
ing man give ono of thu city hall park
loungers it quaitcr tho other day, and after
ho had gone away I sat down beside the
recipient and asked)
"How did you appeal to his sympa
thies "
"Told him I hnd lost my nil."
"All hut your cheek, of course. I heard
'.on l8Mln,BO,nl!tl,ln" ftbout U,
"''M t ,' 1,1 i.im ,,, i ... i.
U's. I told him that I was goii
Missis
going down
thu Mississippi In a flatboat and that wa
were cairlcd over Niagara falls and tho
whole family drowned but mo."
"Great Scot, manl but you didn't locato
Niagara falls on tho Mississippi!"
"Yes, I did. Ain't they therof"
"Why, nol They aro up hero near
UufTulo."
"Is that a factf I saw him glvo a little
tump when 1 put tho falls 'way down there,
nit I fixed It all right."
"How could youf"
"Why, 1 remembered something about
Buffalo, and bo 1 located it down below
Vicksburg and hit him all right. Do boats
run over tho falls?"
"Nuvcr."
"Is that so? Well, no harm done. lean
Just as well sink my craft II vo miles above
as to have her go over Tho only object Is
to drown tho family nnd lose my nil, you
know. Couldn't put ten cents with this
and help mo reach my mother's bedside in
Paterson before she dies, could you?" M.
Quad (u Now York Evening World.
A Study In Natural ITUtury.
He was poor and not noticeably industri
ous, but lie managed somehow to bo quite
a butterfly of fashion aud a favorite in so
ciety. Then ho married n girl in no way his su
perior In energy or finances, anil for the
past live years lie has been barely nblo to
feed his following.
A friend met him tho other day on Jef
ferson nvcnuo walking along very thought
fully "Hello," he said, "why so solemn?"
"Oh, I waa Just thinking," ho replied
vaguely.
"That doesn't, cost anything, at least,"
suggested tho friend; "but what were you
thinking about?"
"Well, mostly about how things go by
contraries. When I was lu school I was
taught that tho grub camo first and then
the butterfly."
"Yes?" prompted the friend questioning
ly, as tho other paused a moment.
"Now I discover," he went on, "that the
butterfly is after tho grub, and it is pretty
rough on the butterfly too." Detroit Free
Press.
Disposing of a Rival.
The way In which a small boy of our ac
quaintance met the crisis which, in the
language of tho nurses, was "to put his
nose out of Joint," showed at least a readi
ness to disposo of a troublesome Impedi
ment with a word.
Tho llttlo fellow was taken into his
mother's chamber to see for the first time
a baby brother. Tho three-year-old looked
the Infant over with a calmly critical re
gard, and then, turning to tho maid who
accompanied him, bo said very decidedly:
"Jane, you keep that In the kitchen."
Youth's Companion.
Front the Heart.
"I wish I hnd saved up money enough to
pay my debts," said au Impecunious Aus
tin man sadly.
"Why do you feel so badly about It?" in
quired an acquaintance. "It 13 your cred
itors who feel badly, not you. Why do you
wish you had saved up money enough to
pay your debts?"
"Well, If I only hnd, I would be tho rich
est man In this town." Texas Sittings.
Neck or Nothing.
"I might not be nblo to cover as much
ground as you," said tho camel to the ele
phant, "but if it camo to a raco I could
hump myself."
"And I," boastfully chimed in the giraffe,
"could beat both of you by a neck." Bal
timore American.
Hard Lines.
Trotter It's hard luck to have a homely
prima dohua In comic opera.
Foster Why so?
Trotter Because, all tho chorus girls
havo to bo Just so much homelier. Harris
burg Telegraph.
Taking I'ood Out or Their Mouths.
"There alut n-goln to bo good llvln in
trnmpln this season," said Haggles.
"I'm afraid not," bnld Tatters. "Theso
here cookin schools la teaching gals how to
use up tho cold wlttles." Now York
Kvoch
It Suited the Uupdtitt.
"Oh, what a precious llttlo money batik,"
exclaimed a visitor at thu Fangles, as sho
examined Freddy's blithday gift.
"Yes," said Freddy, "and Micro's prectouo
llttlo money in it too "Detroit Free Piess.
'&? ''
THE WRONQ BOX.
He Turned Out n He Homo Other Olrl'l
llrnthrr.
Tho following Is the experience- of a boj
who had seme- enough to keep hi mouth
hut at tlio proper timet
"I war wnltln on Johnny Greene's stop,"
ho said, "Jess ncrost the street from mj
house, fur Johnny Up comes a nice- look
lug fellow tu his best clothes,
"'How's your sister today?' says ho, an
1 says shi) was very well, for I thort nt i'rst
that he did menu my sister,
"Jess then the door was opened and lit)
says to me, 'Come In, Johnny, nnd talk to
me whllo I am wait In for my card to go up.'
So'I went In ulth him.
" 'You're o nice little chap,1 says ho, 'an
I've got a pocketkulfe which I'll glvo you
if you promise not to lose it,' nn so 1 prom
ised not to lose It an ho gave It to mo, nn
I felt of tho blades an saw It was a beauty.
'"I like bojs,' says ho, smlllu at iu
friendly.
" 'An I like you,' says I. 'You seem like
a nice foliar, an this kulfo Is n dandy.'
" 'I'm glad you like It,' says he, 'an pur
haps you would like somo candy, nn
wouldn't you take this quarter an gft
somo pretty soon?'
"An then 1 grinned, for I know what
that pretty Mon meant Jess as soon as my
sister should come down. Only you see It
wasn't my sister at nil. That'a why I
grinned, and I says, 'Thank you. I'll go
pretty soon.' An ho smiled again nn tried
to pat me on the head, but I didn't like to
lm patted on the head.
"Pietty soon Johnny Greene's sister
comes In nn shu spoke to mu nice, 'cause
she likes me, an I showed her my knife,
an hu smiled at mo till I wanted to lall
right out, hut I didn't say anything about
the quarter, 'cause I knew sho wouldn't
llkn that.
"Ho says to her, 'You havo a lino little
brother, haven't you?' An she looked
pleased but kind o' surprised, nn says that
Johnny was a little bit mischievous but
meant well I Jest grinned again.
"In about a mluuto Johnny camo down
stairs, nn when 1 heard him In the hall I
said I guessed I'd go now, but shu called
Johnny In, 'cuuso the man seemed to like
him.
" 'Johnny,' says she, 'come nnd spenk to
Mr. Doollttle,' an Mr. Doollttlo Jess looked
nick 'cause I was suiippin the big blade, in
my knife.
" 'Kr an this ain't your brother?' says
lie, looking sour at me.
" 'Oh, no,' sajs she; 'this Is Johnny's
chum, who lives across tho street.'
" 'Como on, Johnny,' says I, for I thort
It was tlmo logo. 'Come on down to the
Italian fruit stand nn get somo fruit.'
"Johnny was mad when I told him
about thu knife. 'But never mind,' says I.
'Don't you see he's got to give you one
now?' "New York Tribune.
Casting HI Horoscope.
Colonel Sumpter McBrldc, of Austin,
whllo In New York ou a visit, read
tho advertisement of a clairvoyant In a
morning paper.
Hu went to thu femalo fortuuo teller to
havo his horoscopo cast. Sho cast horo
scopes with a dirty pack of cards, which
shu spread on tho table.
"You will marry an unii-'iaUy wclt'iy
lady and bo very happy. Evorythlug la
your past, present and future Is nn open
bck to me."
"I suppose you know everything about
my future?" paid tho colonel.
"Not only about your future, but about
your past and present."
"It's wonderful, incomprehensible. Good
morning, madam."
"Hold on, there. A dollar If you pleaso,"
said tho femalo wizard, holding out her
hand.
"Well, that Is strange. You know every
thing about tho past, present and future,
and you didn't know I left all my money
with the clerk nt tho hotel before I started
out to have my fortune told. It's wonder
ful, Incomprehensible," remarked the
colonel, as he pnssed out Just in time to
avoid Intercepting n cuspidor with the
back of his bead, Texas Slftiugs.
Not f.ud)llke.
She (nt the races) Oh, I'm getting aw
fully Interestcdl I want to bet on the next
race. Heru'ro live dollars.
He Certainly. Which horso?
"Which ono Is going to win?"
"I don't know."
"How stupldl Ask somebody."
"No ono knows."
"No one nt all?"
"Not a soul."
"Um well, 1 guess I wou't bet myself.
It Isn't very ladylike anyhow. You bet
for mo." New York Weekly.
A Stumper.
An eccentric old gentleman placed In a
field on his estate a board with the follow
ing generous oiler painted thereon:
"I w 111 give this field to any man who is
contented."
It was not long before he bad an appli
cant. "Well, my man, you aro a contented fel
low?" "Yes, sir: very."
"Then why do you want my field?"
Tho applicant did not wait to reply.
Exchange.
A Chip Off tli Old lllock.
"How old nro you, sonny?"
"Twelve years old, sir."
"You aro very small for your age. What
la your name?"
"Johnny Smith. My fnther is a baker
on Manhattan avenue."
"So your father Is a baker? I might
havo guessed It by your size. You remind
me of one of his loaves." Texas Slftiugs.
A Illot 011 the K.ciitcheiiu.
She I like your friend very much, but
ho has such bad tasto In dress.
Ho You should overlook that fact aud
remember that he Is laboring under great
disadvantages.
She How so?
Ho Ills grandfather camo from St.
Louis. Clothier and Furnisher.
A U.eful Adjunct.
Guest (to tho host) Count, how is It you
havo your old servant, Jacob, still wait at
tho table? Why, ho has the palsy torrlbly.
Count Oh, you seo I only use him for
scattering sugar over thu strawberries.
Fllegendu Matter.
kuppl) Iiik IHb Iivmiwid.
Fresh Air Hoy Mister, do you have to
buychcwluggum for all those cows? Life.
a vwr will J
MsAfer:. - wUSyf
Removal Sale
--
As we intend to remove to our New
Furniture Block on 13th street, between O
nnd P, about September 1st, we have con
eluded to oiler our large stock of
FURNITURE
at nearly cost price until that time. As we in
tend to make genuine heavy cuts, these sales
at reduced prices will be strictly cash. Call
and investigate.
AUG. TH. GRUETTER & CO.
1 1 16 and 1 118 N Street.
YOU GET FITS
And the right kind as well, as excellent
wear and latest style in Shoes when
patronizing
Parker .& Sanderson."
See their fine
SUMMER WEAR
1009
LEAVE YOUR ORDERS
WITH US FOR
ICB CREAM
FOR SUNDAY DINNER,
AND THEY. WILL RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION.
Sutton & Hollowbush
Makers of Hon Bons and Chocolates.
Also Delicious Ice Cream and Soda Water.
UOY&UR CMPLOYfc
VorHourdt?
A REQUUR-ADVilRTljEfAOT
VoRKi-M
WHiir
Hi UU i PFT
line of shoes for
O ST.
" W I , aT
. , UV J r-ttU fl iM-WL
rVLftWr H-HJUIM
Jjv?y if
1
L,
