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CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 189 1
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Chicago and Erie R. R.
(t.ittn Chlcnifo A Atlantic U'y.i'l
In Connection with the
Erie Railway
KOUMH TIIK ONLY LINK 3
IIKTW'KKN
Chicago and New York
Under One MuniiKeiiionl.
SOLID TRAINS.
Tho Through Trithis ol tlilM Lino bettn'Mi Chl-
cngo ninl New York arc run solid, thim
nvolitlni! nnnoynnco and coiirusion
of olmiiKliiK enr or mlsslm.
ooniiectlons.
Vestibule Limited Service
"Vostlbuled t
.Imllod Trains, consisting or IIiir
:kliiKHiiil !'' Coaches, with
Kiiko, HiiioUIiik
hlllmnii DlnliiB niulHIecplnglnrs
tlieivtutl by steam, lighted by gas),
over this Line
Every Day In the Year.
Pullman Service to Boston.
A Pullman Biuret Sleeping Car to ami from
lloston dally via this route.
This Is the ONLY I.IN'I. ItunnliiK I'ullniiin
Car between Chicago nnd Huston.
C3To Columbus, Ohio, Hint Ashland, Ivy.
Pullman H.eoplmc Car between Chicago uiul
above Points ilnlly.
Trains Arrive untl Leave Dearborn Station,
For rurther Inform Mlon, call on the nearest
HlllirOllll lll-Kl'l kiiii"i .....-
"W 0 RlnMrjon,
Qon. Pass. Agt
A M TuoVir, D I Roberts,
nen.Mur. A.O.P.Aitt.
Now York. Cleveland ijiiicngo
Santa Fe Route
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe R. R
The Popular Route to the Pacific
Coast.
Through Pullman and Tourist
Sleepers
Between Kansas City and SAN 1)1 EGO,
LOS ANGELES, nud SAN FRAN
CISCO. Short Line Rates to
PORTLAND, Oregon.
Double Daitv Train Service Hetween
Kansas Clt ami PUEBLO, COLORADO
SPRINGS, nnd DENVER. Short
Lino to SALT LAKE CITY.
The Direct Texas Route
Solid Trains Between Kansas City nnd
Galveston. The Short Line Between
Kansas City nnd Gainesville, Ft.
Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple,
San Antonio, Houston, and
all Principal Points
111 ictus.
The Onlv Line Kunnini! Through
the
OKLAHOMA COUNTRY. The
Only Direct Line to the Texas
Pan-Handle. For Maps and
Time Tables nnd Informa
tion Regarding Rates
. and Routes Call on
or Address
E. L. PALMER. Passenger Agent,
411 N.Y. Life Building.
OMAHA, 1TBB.
Ladies' and Children's
Hair Gutting and Shampooing
a Specialty,
-AT-
SAKLWESTERFIELD'S
BURR :- BLOCK.
I, miles Usn 1)1', l.o Ihl'i' I'elliiilleill
I'IIIm from Paris. Kraiiei. That positively in
UOVe SlliprCHSlUllS, HUmilU lli;llUKi;illl-llS I
nml IrreiriilurltlPM eiuisi'il liv fold, weakness.
shock, aueiiila, or general nervous ile blllly.
The largo proportion of Ills to which Indies
and iiitn-iM are liable 1h the direct result of a
disordered or Irregular menstruation. Sup
prt-sslouK continued result In blood poisoning
uiul quick consumption. U package or. I for
5. Hont ill rent on receipt of price. Sold
lu Lincoln by II W. Itrown, druggist.
BE A MAN
APOLLO WAS A PERFECT MAN.
inner in iorh i-matchiess in wari
B aoiloua -m- it iDtltDU for italvtri mrn Ibat
puny do at (.ma wer- rul ,0 i't".
tT.rr MAN can ti BIR0N0
and VIU0H0US In all Mlp.cta.
YOUNQ MEN OR OLD.
loff.rlDg from NERVOUB DE
HI1.ITV T.n.t np Falllnc Man
hood, Pbyilcal Eiomi, Mtntal
Worrr. Stusttd Uavalosmtnt, or
nr fEEOOHAI. WEAKMEBS can b
Mitorad to rr.RFEOT HEALTH and
NOBLE VITALITY of 8TR0KO
MEN, tht rrlda and rowirof .Nation..
We claim by you" ol prucllce by
our pxrlimlvn metlinil. n uniform
MonoroLY or uucccsb" in unit
f -o . 1UKIMI Ulivaill, naau.tv i.iii.
-J ABIetlom of Men, IVMItnonltils
' ' f mm fill Htdte, ami Territories.
AMD UCUf affinif "'" ''nltrtt, ipnleil.posl
UUn NCW DUlllViislil. rnraflmllPil time" Oat
Itwhlla jroocan foil Eiplanatlom for HOME TREAT
MEMT. Toucanb EOlIy RESTORED at Thousand!
havabttBorut. Baadour taitlmonlali. Addrtnatonei
ERIE MEDICAL CO. BUFFALO, N.Y,
I .v7 T
A Js I
AlM
DOING HIS DUTY.
III!
Orders Wtm from the Siipurlntatatd
eut. Hint Hit Mrunt llitaliii-aa.
During a strlko on ono of the eastern
roads thojr luul to pick up nuylxHly they
could to mini what trains had to Ihj run.
Tho engineers and conductors on tho font
trains stood by tho company, but the brake
men were out. The superintendent hired
ono blK bulky fellow, who gave his name
as lloscome, to net as hrakoman on the
Chicago limited.
"Now, boss," ho said to tho superintend
out, "you Just tell mo what to do and you
bet your boots I'll do It. Do you want any
strikers killedr"
"No, no. Don't you meddle with them
unless they meddlo with you. You won't
have very much to do unless something
goes wrong with tho train. Then you help
as much as you can and do what the con
ductor tells you to."
"And If things ko smooth, what do I do
then?"
"Just shout the tiiuuu of tho stations."
When tho CIiIciiko limited started out at
0 o'clock that night Boscome was on one
of tho sleepers. Kvcrybody was In hL
berth trying to get to sleep, when Boscomo
put his head in the door nud jelled;
"Brenton's Corners!"
"Fo do I Jtud," cried the porter, aghast,
"you mussctit call do names out in a sleep
ing cab."
"You tend to your hlnckln boots and
don't Interfere with me I'm a doln my
duty and don't you furget lu"
People put their heads out from between
curtains nud wanted to know what lunatic
was abroad. The sleeping car conductor
expostulated with lloscome, but every time
a lot of lights Unshed past tho new brake
inan yelled "Muggln's Junction" or what
ever name was next on his list. Tho train
conductor at last camo along and said he
would put Boscome off, but tho stnlwart
brakemnti asked hi m to try it on if he
thought he could do It
"1 ain't got nuthlii agin you, conduc,"
said Hoscome, "but I'm a doln what the
superintendent told mo to do, and you ot
I'm goln to obey orders Stlggcn's Cross
ing." The conductor pulled the bellropo and
the train slowed up.
"Anything wrong witli tho train, con
ducf" asked Uoscomo anxiously.
"Yes. The airbrake's on lire. You ruu
back there about n rod and you'll find a
bucket of water licsldo the track. Hi ' ig It
to me."
As tho train started up agalu tho conduc
tor shouted to Boscome, who was trying to
catch up:
"Next time you get on a train you do
what the conductor tells you to. Quit run
ning after us; you cnu't catch the limited.
Tramp back mil report to thesuperintend
ent." Detroit Free Press.
Her Oruut Objection to thn City.
She was a f resli looking young country
girl, with rr v checks nnd sparkling eyes,
and had come to visit her city relatives.
Sho took a stroll around tho neighborhood
and when she returned to tho house sho
seemed troubled. i
"I guess I'll go homo to-morrow," she broker's office not long since, nnd np
said. ' proachlug tho manager said that ho wished
"What's tho matter?" Don't you tike I to make mi Investment, nnd that ho want
tho city?" asked her city cousin. I Ld to buy something good.
"No, I don't," she said with decision. "How does sliver strike you?" queried
"Do you miss t lio green Holds?" queried !
tho city cousin.
"Oh, no; It's not that," said the country
Krl.
"Tho noise of the streets troubles you, 1
suppose?" suggested the city cousin.
1
the i
"I don't mind It at all," returned
country girl
Of course tho air Is not as pure and the
soot ruins everything'," admitted the city
cousin.
"Ob, I don't care about that," said the
country girl. "And the cublo cars don't
frighten me, nnd I don't get bewildered by
tho crowds, but I haven't seen n front gate
to swing on moonlight nights stneo I've
been hero. How In tho world do you city
girls over get married?" Chicago Tribune.
Uri'iiklnu It Gently
In the province of Holsteln, noted for its
superior breed of cattle, tho country
peoplo are not only very thrifty, but ex
cecdlugly fond of their cows, as may he
gathered from the following characteristic
story:
Farmer Jan was walking sadly down
the road ono dny when thn vtllngo pastor
met him.
"Why so sad. Farmer Jan?" said the
pastor.
"Ah, I have a very sad errand, pastor,"
replied Jan.
"What Is it?"
"Farmer Henri k's cow Is dead In my
pasture, and I am on my way to tell him."
"A bard task, Jan."
"Indeed it is, pastor, but I shall break it
to htm gently."
"How will you do that?"
"I shall tell him first that H is hie
mother who is dead, and then, having
opened tho way for sadder news still, I
shall tell him tt is not his mother, but the
cowl" London Tit-Bits.
lluil the IJulge.
He was in no hurry as ho went up the
steps of tho Klevated station on Third
avenue. lie took plenty of time to buy
his ticket, and he carefully looked it over
to see whether It was a genuine ticket or
a dead head pass to a theater. Ho walked
slowly to tho ticket box and fluttered it
In, and then he ndvauced slowly to the tip
town tralu and reached tho gate of a car
just as it wus locked on him.
"Too latel" said the conductor with a
grin as lie pulled tho strap.
"Too late for what?"
"To take this train."
"Didn't want to take it April fooll
Just camo up to pay you off for leaving
mo ono day last springi Go ahead with
your old train hat hal hal"
And as the train sped away he walked
oil down stairs, chuckliug and cackling
over having the bulge on tho Third avenue
road. M. Quad in New Yofk Kvenlng
World.
A rri'llmlnury Suggestion.
wr&
- - .
AM -WjSti
ifO-.
He lit .Ioe, 1 w ltd! I could prove the
epth of my nlTectiiin for youl
She Vou might break youi engagement
tlth Miss Brown as a start. Life
.-v J-1 .1? '-V
-" "Kit Vv ZI7P?" I
II ! K h Z"1"h TV WE t
t- r .
Wmited II Matched.
Artistic Man Dressmaker I have Just
received a letter from MNs Creme do la
Creine, ordering a new costume and In
:loslng this lock of hair which must be
matched lu tho goods
Forewoman U that Miss Crcmo de la
Creole's hair?
"Oh, no, It Is her poodle's." Detroit
Freo Press.
Tho Depth of Love.
ice tmm
tlfAM
He Did you rend that article on Ice
cream? Five hundred persons, I bellova,
died from eating It last year
She So I read, George. Hut I'd will
lngly face death at your side, dear. Truth.
One Wuy Out of It.
A short man with red whiskers and
shambling gnte wandered into tho nudito
rill m last evening mil asked for a typewrit
ers' studio He lives In Indiana, not a
million miles from Chicago, and has been
there attending the races. Luck lind
walked on tho snme sldu of tho street with
him, nud he wanted to stay another week.
Hut Ids wife expected him home today, so
ho was lu search of a typowrlter to solid
homo a letter to servo as an apology for
his nonappearance
"Chicago, this date, '01," ho muttered to
tho typewrit 1st.
"I have that."
"My dear wife."
"Yes."
"Very Important business will require
my presence In Sheboygan for i few
days"
"lA't'asee," Interrupted the artist, "how
do you spell that Sheboygan:"
"Spell It yourself. It's your own typo
writer." "I can't."
"Can't spell Cheboygan?" he asked with
disgust.
"No."
"Then I'll goto St. .Ioo."-Chlcago Her
aid.
Wlutt Ho Wanted.
A rusty appearlug fellow drifted
A rusty appearlug fellow drifted Into a
the broker,
"Too gol darn high," said tho farmer.
"Well." said tho broker, "If -you want
something cheap buy lead."
"I don't think lead's ony good," replied
tho farmer "Hnve ye some good tin?" ho
continued.
"No, tin was busted some months ago,
Why don't you try Consolidated gas?"
continued the broker.
"Consolidated gnsl" exclaimed tho stran
ger. "I've hern tell on palls made of pa
pers (I spoze they use old ones they kin
buy cheap), but I'll Ira dinged If they air
' now makin on 'cm of gns.
"What do you want in here, anyhow?"
roared the broker.
"I came In to buy somo milkpalls," re
plied the stranger; "a feller down here says
as bow this was a bucket shop." Buffalo
Enquirer
III Sign Manual.
Mr.S , tlin theatrical malinger, though
in other respects a thorough business man,
could neither rend nor write, but kept a
prlvato secretary, who bad strict injunc
tions not to lietray tho secret. Neverthe
less, this deficiency did not remain con
cealed from the memliers of his troop, and
the manager consequently often found
himself In a serious fix. One day ho was
dining at a hotel, wheu a gold watch was
raffled for. Each of the guests staked two
thalere, wrote his name on a scrap of
paper and threw it Into a bat.
Our manager was dreadtuuy perplexed
when bis turn came to sign
his name.
However, in order not to expose himself,
he pretended to write, rolled up the blank
niece of naner and threw (t Into tho hat
along with the rest. As chance would havo
It, this very paper was drawn, deneral
astonishment when It was found to be '
blank. But B , the low comedian, who '
was present, asked to have It shown to
him, and when he had examined it care
fully he gravely exclaimed: "That Is our
manager's handwriting. I should know It
among a thousand." Thurlngcr X.eitung,
Lot llrotlierly Love Continue.
Two Detroiters are not speaking to each
other now. Sovoral nights ago they had
some words over a quiet gamo limited to
fifty cents, uiul one called tho other a pre
varlcator. F-ionds Interfered and the lu
suited man Insisted upon nu apology,
"If he says he Is sorry ho said It it will be
all right," he explained.
Then the friends went after tho offender.
"Blank snvs it will be all right if you say
you are sorry for what you cnlled him,"
they said.
"What did I call him?"
"You said lie wns u provnrlcntor."
"Is that all?" and he began to get hot.
"Well, I'm very sorry I called him that. I
ought to have called him a d liar and
had it out with him on tho spot,"
That was a week or more ago and them
Is so blgn yet of sprouts on tho olive
branch. Detroit Free Press
Kxiihrriiut Gratitude.
Karllue has knitted a pair of stockings
for her friend Wllhelm, who lias joined the
Imperial guards, mid presents them to him
on his birthday, with the usual congrntii
lations.
"Karline," siijk the happy man, sobbing
miller deep emotion, "you are too kind
tho nice white stockings I'll I'll wear
them us long as I llvol" Illustrlrto
Chrunlk
A Sine Sign.
"Well, miss, how soon is yiir woiillug
to come oil r"
"My wedding? I have not the slightest
intention of getting married."
"Ah! but when youiiK Indies like your
K'lf begin buying 100 sheets of note paper
to a single packet of envelopes, there U al
ways honiithlng in the windl" Belletris
lisehe Xcltuug
(ib Afvr JfT
111 1 MmM
A AmA iMvKfil
irkW
ilfl
HIS EYE IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
Btory of tt Viumi Man Who Wat ttmind
to Make n Lawyer.
What Is tho chlof characteristic of a
"born lawyer?" Somo peoplo fancy that it
Is audacity; but audacity has, perhaps,
spoiled a lawyer's success as often as tt has
mado It. Craftiness, another quality often
attributed to lawyers as a class, Is, as likely
to get them Into troublo as It Is to win
them cases, Tho real master quality of a
good lawyer, according to ninny modern
authorities, Is a "genius for details" an
ability to see through a caso to the utter
most particular, ami keep everything In
mind ready for use at the right moment.
Tho following story has probably been
told by more than ono lawyer to Illustrate
this fact,
A lawyer advertised for a clerk, Tho
next morning his olllce was crowded with
applicants, all bright and many suitable
He bade them wait until all should
trrlve, and then ranged them In a row
tnd said he would tell them a story, note
'.heir comments nnd so Judge whom ho
srould choose.
"A certain farmer," liegan tho lawyer,
"was troubled with a red squirrel that got
tti through a holo In his barn nnd stole hli
seed corn. He resolved to kill thn squirrel
at the llr.st opportunity
"Seeing him go In at tho hole one noon
lie tool; his shotgun ami fired away The
first shot set the barn on fire."
"Did the barn burn?" said ono of tho
lioys,
The lawyer, without answer, contlnuod,
"Anil seeing tho hurt) on tire the farmer
seized a pail of water and ran to put it nut."
"Did he put It out?" said another.
"As lie passed Inside, tho door shut to
nnd tho barn was soon in flames. When
tho hired girl rushed out with more wa
ter" "Did they all burn up?" said another
boy,
Tho lawyer went on without atiBWer,
"Then the old Indy camo out, and all was
nolso nnd confusion, and overylwdy was
trying to put out the fire."
"Did any one burn up?" said another.
Tho lawyer sal.l, "There, that will do;
you have all shown great Interest In the
story."
But observing ono little bright oyed fel
low In deep silence, he said, "Now, my lit
tle man, what havo you to say?"
The little fellow blushed, glow uneasy,
and stammered out, "I want to know what
became of tho squirrel; that's what I want
to know."
"You'll do," said tho lawyer; "you are
my man, You have not been switched off
by a confusion and a barn burning, and the
hired girls nud water palls. You have kept
your eyo on tho squirrel." Youth's Com
patiiou,
doling u llitrifiiln.
IV
Tourist But I 1 have alrendy per
paid you the twenty marks as we a a
greed.
Guide That's all right, but I'm on a
striko for higher rates now, and If you
don't Accede to my demands I'll unbucklo
the straps. Life.
Sotting Illm ltlgbt.
A rather denso British nobleman, who
had letters to the best houses In Boston,
and who was the recipient of much cour
tesy, left the Hub after a few weeks' visit,
for the iuovitable expedition to the Rock
les, which every Englishman considers an
essential part of an American experience.
0n bis returnjie again visited Boston and
B! bethought htmseir or calling at a
I'01"0 wbero he. bud frequently dined on
former visit, in answer io ms ring
tho old butler, who had been In the family
for many years, came to the door.
"Is Mrs. B In?" said my lord.
"Oh, sir," exclaimed the faithful old
soul with the tears running down his
cheeks, "my master Is dying!" Lord
G , who stuttered a good deal (which
rather Increased tho effect of his fashion
able vacuoiisness), stared at tho man an
instant as If he did not quite understand
lilm, and then rejoined with dignity, "I
I d-dldn't arsk for M-Mister B ; I arsked
for Mrs. B ."Exchange.
Tlmt Kxphilni It.
"What's tho news?"
"Old Schubert has given up smoking."
"How long since?"
"About a fortnight. He had gouo to In
spect a quarry, and dropped his lighted
cigar In a powder barrel tiint stood beside
him." llumorisllsche Blatter.
uMm2
III
A Living lllu. truth. a.
"What a splendid library you havol
Please lend mo one of your nice books I"
"I am very sorry, but books which are
borrowed are never returned. See, tvery
one of these books fins been borrowed."
Fllegeudo Blatter.
Ciuilllrtliii; Tlieoilea.
Once upon a inldnliiht dreary
A detective formed a theory
That u mun una belli,' murdered In the street
a block below;
fie could hear him loudly callliiK
As the tt IcKeil blows were fiillliiK,
And hU keen detective Instinct told hhn all he
wished to know.
Ily the sound tils cur detected
That the blows must bo directed
lly it man of bluml complexion ttlth n bine nnd
Kent to e)o.
And with le a little bandied,
Either rlk'ht or eliu left tinuded,
And bet wwii four feet six Inches uud fclx feet
four Inches hlkii.
So hu caliiil) nt and watted
Till tho lioltv had all ubated,
Then ho strolled ut letsiiru dotvn tho street tho
corpse to note.
Tliuro he imt with .Mrs. Learj,
Who herself had formed a theory,
I ir sho a.ttv the tlulit between O'UooIey'u dog
and linelj's put.
-Detroit 1'tee I'rnah.
Removal Sale
--
As we intend to remove to our New
Furniture Block on 13th sited, hetween O
find P, .iluml September ist, We have con
cluded it) otl'er our huge stock of
FURNITURE
at nearly cost price until
tend to make
genuine
fit reduced prices
find investigate.
will
AUG. TH. GRUETTER & CO.
1 1 if find 1118 N Street.
YOU GET FITS
And the right kind as well, as excellent
wear and latest style in Shoes when
patronizing
Parker & Sanderson.
See their fine
SUMMER WEAR
1009
LEAVE YOUR ORDERS
WITH US FOR
ICE CREAM
FOR SUNDAY DINNER,
AND THEY. WILL RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION.
Sutton & Hollowbtjsh
Makers of Bon (tons and Chocolates.
Also Delicious Ice Cream and Soda Water.
UOYbUR ETMPLOYfcS3
VorHourmd?
A feQUL-ADVllRTljLlOT
VoRRi- wfflRmir!
While:
X Alr'
Hnyy
that time. As we
in-
heavy cuts,
he strictly
these Sides
cash, all
line of shoes for
O ST.
SLEEP.
..iUV. ll lni. ArVUIet
mAj--uJum
i j n x. "v x w-t wr s .
-i
i
SI
