i
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAV, JULY it, t&ot
- J
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Chicago and Erie R. R.
LntoClilenijoA. Atlantic ll'y.l
.In Connection with the
Erie Railway
FOKMM TttK ONM.Y LINK
iiktweks
Chicago and New York
Under Unu MiinnKoincnt.
SOLID TRAINS.
Tho Through Trnln ot thin I.mo l.otwcoii Clil-
cngo nntl New York nro run aolld, thus
nvolilliiK nnnojnnco nnd confusion
orcliiuiKhiK enrs or minimi
connection.
Vestibule Limited Service
Vestlbuled Limited Trnlu.ronistlntcor ting.
Kbko, HinokliiK niul Uny Conclie, Willi
Kllmnn UiiilimnmlHlcenliiKCKrM
(heated by steam, lighted by Kns),
over this Lino .
Evcry Day In the Year.
Pullman Service to Boston.
A Pullman nutlet Hlecplim Car to and from
lloston dnlly vlii lhl routo.
This Is tho ONLY LINK UunnliiK Pitllmiui
Oars between Chicago nnit Uoitou.
BUCKEYE ROUTE
To Columbus, Ohio, nnd Ashlnnd, Ky.
Pullman Siocnlmr. Cur between Clilcnuo ami
(ul)ovo Point dally.;
Trains Arrlvo nnd Leave Dearborn Htutlon,
CHICAGO.
For furthor Inforinhtlnn, cnll on the nearest
ltnllrond Ticket Agent, or address
W 0 Rlnearioa, A U Tookm, D I Roberts,
(Jon. I'll. At. Oen.MKr. A.U.I'. Ant.
New York. Clovelnnd. Chlcugo
' Santa Fe Route !
Atchison, Tdpeka & Santa Fe R. R
The Popular Route to the Pacific
Coast.
Through Pullman and Tourist
Sleepers
Between Kansas City and SAN DIEGO,
LOS ANGELES, and SAN FRAN-
CISCO. Short Line Rates to
PORTLAND, Oregon.
Double Dallv Train Service Between
Kansas Cit and PUEBLO, COLORADO
SPRINGS, and DENVER. Short
Line to SALT LAKE CITY.
The Direct Texas Route
Solid Trains Between Kansas City and
Galveston. The Short Line Between
Kansas City and Gainesville, Ft.
Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple,
San Antonio, Houston, and
all Principal Points
in Texas,
The Onlv Line Running Through the
OKLAHOMA COUNTRY. The
Only Direct Line to the Texas
Pan Handle. For Maps and
Time Tables and Informa
tion Regarding Rates
and Routes Call on
or Address
E. L. PALMER, Passenger Agent,
411 N.r. Life Building, K
OJAHiL, NEB.
Ladies' and Children's
Hair Cutting and Shampooing
a Specialty,
-AT-
SAM.WESTERFIELD'S
BURR : BLOCK.
Liidlt' lUu llr. I. line's IVrioillciil
Pills from I'hiK France. 1'hnt posltlvelj u
Hove suppressions, monthly dernucemeuts
ami IrieKiihirltles caused by cohl, weakness,
shock, anemia, or ueneral nervous debility.
The large proportion of Ills to which ladles
and mles are liable Is the direct result ol a
dlsonlered or Irregular menstruation. Hup.
presslous continued result In blond poisoning
und quick c msuinptlon. Hi package or.! foi
J1. Soul dliect on receipt of price. Sold
in Lincoln by II V. Hiovvn, diuggist
tn(MH),im jfr I. tiHinrnml lr J hn It
floo)wln,lr y ,ni w ik for u titi.r,
fou in)- uvi iunk luuth Lut tii
rtch 7011 quli kly In w lot oil fp m 11 1
piu tity m 111 iin ftjmiiuH Mjrtuo
on. i)tiutsr an tm 111 any nn il
Anurlri;'U im r nnntm M l.t-mt jn
intf ill sour tlniexr ir iiiuniftitiouii .
lUmwk. All l urn (.nut i)M1U f r
ttry Mutktr iart )ou fumUltlnK
tnvihltitf t AHMA.M'rl Ifin IttnuT,
I "A III H LXAltrt I UV . j.lrn. it onr.
bllNblA A 10., luKIUMi, JUlMw
FOR MEN ONLY
YOUNG MENOLD MEN"
OIT II THI TOILS Of THt IIRPINU Of BISIASI.
Tasjr asks b.rele snort, to (r.e tn.nMlr...
. sat ass snowing now to incciiireur
1)8HKE0FFTHE HORRID 8NAKE8
Clf9uplo4ipalr ai .Ink lotoftD.trlf
fttit. nuiu
liHHUHITtirtbUUFII
OUR NEW BOOK
unt fr... Doat rtU. (.rkl.4)
(ortllailtrilllmo..i'l.liii
tti pkUoioplir ot Dlitai
anl AfflicltoDl ol th
Offimot Mn, ondhowbjr
HUME IHLAIIWtni,
br nitsodi txclaitTtlr oar
own, i worst riuraor
Loit or rslllif Msssoo4,
O.Btrtl ss Mirrosi Do
tllllr, Wissaaii ol Bodr
tn Mlo, Eltcti ol Errors
or Iscmti, llinlia or
sraikii Org bi raa hm Currsl. at. Is s r.
ovtolntsrfOsadltMsitbtaWKAK.DNDIVILOrED
OEaAHIrABTIstlODtsssopUlatosUlstiMiUa.
M.B Uitlfr froni W Utftt... T.rrttorkt tn4 Kor.lio Cauotrt...
Vouftowr(ttlh.m. Tot Bok,f all. ipliotllftotn I pro.r, 111. M
CRIK MEDICAL CO. BUFFALO, N.Y.
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MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
oss Uomitlo lacldrntt Thnt MV lit
fanillr WIiikI o Hniind.
"I'd llko to get my hands on the chap
who made this shirt for about n minute!"
exclaimed Mr. Bowser the other tnornliiit
as ho shoved nwny from tho breakfast
table.
"Anything wrongf" queried Mrs. Hou
se r.
"Anything wrong! Would I complain
if there wasn't something wronaf Dura
any husband over complain until the lat
straw breaks tho camel's back? It's nil
hunches and bunches and hundlosl"
"But It was only yesterday you were
saying what an elegant lit this last lot
wore."
"Never said anything ot thosortl Fact
is I never had a shirt that fitted mo with
In forty rodsfaud nrjvcr expect to have,
and it's tho same with collars."
"There is surely something wrong tills
morning," shAsntd, ns she made n closer In
spection. "Let mo got you another collar."
''It would only bo tho same. I suppose
It's my fate to go through life with n shirt
all hunched up between my shouldors niul
a collar sawing my cars off. I suppose there
are wives who pay some, little attention to
their husband's comforts, but"
"Mr. Bowser, you ordered those. shlrU
yottrselfl" she Interrupted.
"Certainly."
"You were satisfied with theml"
"Yes."
"They set perfectly lovolyl"
"Wolir
"Then what have I to do with it?"
"Mrs. Bowser," ho calmly observed, as
he rose and assumed his favorite pose,
"there are such things as buttonholes in
shirts. There nro bands and yokes and
seams. A shirt tnnygo Into the bureau
folded in an Intelligent manner, or it may
be milled anU crumpled and spoiled. A
wifely wlfo looks out for these things. A
wife who doesn't caro two cents for her
husband's comfort doesn't concern herself
about such trifles. Good morning, Mrs.
Bowserl"
Ho hadn't been gono half an hour when
Mrs. Bowser was looking high and low for
his nightshirt. It couldn't bo found. It
had disappeared oft tho faco of tho earth
leaving not oven a button behind. Whim
he came up to lunch she said:
"Mr. Bowser, I can't Hud your nlghv
shirt."
"I presumo uotl" ho calmly replied,
"some houses have n bend and n system,
and the nightshirt don'tget mixed up with
tho potatoes down collnrl"
"I don't believe you took It oft this morn
ing. You put your dnyshlrt on over it, and
that's tho reason you iiad such trouble."
"Mrs. Bowser, if you wisli to Infer that
I'm an idiot Just spenk right out in plain
lauguagcl" roared Mr. Bowser across the
table.
"But you might do such 11 thing."
"So the Hudson river might run Into
Lake Erlol It's far more likely that jou
carried that shirt up in tho garret or down
cellar. I shouldn'tbo surprised to find tho
girl using it for n dustrag in tho kitchen!"
"Mr. Bowser, )uu'vogot that shirt onl I
know it! I'll daro you to remove your col
lar!" she exclaimed.
"I have mild that this liouso had no sys
tem," he slowly replied ns he rose, from the
tablo. "To prsvo that I am right I will
take off my collar and unbutton the band
of my shirt. Now, then, are you satisfied
that it is owing to your want of atten
tion" "You'vo got it onl" she interrupted, us
sho pulled at tho band of his nightshirt.
"It can't be!"
"But here It isl You forgot to take It
oOl"
Mr. Bowser turned pale and walked off
upstnlrs. Ten minutes later he camodown
and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, don't ever play another
such trick on me!"
"Why, what had I to do with It?" she
asked.
"Nover you mind nbout that, but don't
attempt anything more of the kind! I
hnvo nl ready stood fnrmore than most bus
bands would!"
The other awfully hot day ho came limp
ing home and fell into the chair itnd
groaned:
"I'll bo hanged If I don't hlren blind
woman to come hero nud look after my
things! My feet nro nil cut to pieces by
these Infernal old socks!"
"Old socks! Why, I bought 'em uew for
you only threo days ago!"
"Holes In both of 'cm, but I might hnvo
expected that. Look there!"
Ho pulled off his shoes nud displajed a
pair of all wool socks with a hole in the
heel of each.
"What ou earth are you doing with those
socks onP' sho exclaimed. "I told you last
night where to find six uuw pairs of sum
mer socksl"
"They weren't there."
"But they were, nnd you went into tho
clothes press nnd dug these out of the bot
tom of tho trunk!"
"Mrs, Bowser, you said I'd find socks in
tho bottom drawer of tho bureau."
"Yes." '
"Well, there isn't a sock there. There
isn't tho slightest reason to believe you
ever put a sock there. I'll bet n million
dollars to n cent there are no socks there!"
"Come up stairs!"
Ho followed her up, nnd sho went to tho
bureau, pulled out the drawer nnd pointed
to tho six pnlrs of socks resting there,
"Yes, I seel" he observed, ns he backed
off. "But where were they hut night
when I wanted them?"
"Right there!"
"Uml Mrs. Bowser, I don't want to
criticise your way of keeping house. No hus
band ever finds fault with his wlfo when it
Is possible to avoid it, and he is ulwas
willing to suffer and endure; hut, Mrs.
Bowser, I feel It my duty to sit down ami
hnvo a lonu tnlk with you, and to speak to
you very plainly. We must have a system
here, or It will Imj better for you to go back
to your mother. You-cnn get four trains
out of hero n day for Detroit, Mrs." How..y
four trains a day and jour mother
would meet you at the depot there, Socks!
Yes! I see them now, hut where were they
last night, Mrs Bowser?" M Quad in
New York World.
An i:pieeil llfidre.
UttloGirl (to waiting eoachinnn) Would
ou mind pulling me and my brother
1 round tho block? I would like to feel
iw it Ih to lie driven by a real coachman1
Life
A sTow rmilitnu Notes.
Sealskin cents will lo worn next winter
Ik fushlotmbto son Hon society.
Eight ounco gloves are stilt in touuk
among nrtlsts. Undressed kids nro often
seen in tho poorer quarter.
Tho summer girl will lie much worn In
August and September.
Tho summer young man will wear mit
tens In tho fall.
It is not deemed good tnsto for a young
man to shoot Ids brunette sweetheart with
a blue barreled pistol. Bluo is for bloudi
Detroit Free Press.
Making Mini Less of llurdni.
"Wall, 'penhs like I nevah see you no
mo' wld dat chile without he Iick a toy
b'loon in Ids linn's. Should t'lnk it 'ud
brnko you up buyln' b'loons."
"Do you know, I t'lnk It meks htm
lighter t' kerry. Ho's a pow'ful heavy
chllo nnyhow." Hnrpcr's Bazar.
One I'rntilrm Holvrit,
The professor of natural science at Ann
Arbor was discussing the process ot ferti
lizing plants by menus of Insects carrying
the pollen from ono plant to another, nud to
amuso them told how tho old maids wero
tho ultimate causo of It nil. Tho bumble
bees carry tho pollen; tho field mice eat the
bumble lces; therefore tho more Held mice
tho fower bumble bees and tho less pollen
nnd variation of plants. But cats devour
tho field mice nnd old tnnlds protect cats.
Therefore the more old maids the mora
cats, tho fewer field mice tho moru bees.
, Hence old maids nro tho cause of variety in
1 plants.
Thereution. n sonhoninre with n sliiL'le
eyeglass, an English umbrella, 11 box coat,
with his "trousers" rolled up at the bot
tom, arose nnd asked:
"I sti-u-y, professnh, what Ut tho cntise
ah of old maids, don't you know?"
1 "Perhaps Miss Jouos can tell you," sug
gested the professor.
I "Dudes!" said Miss Junes sharply, nud
I without u moment's hesitation.
There wns slieuee in the loom for tha
space ot thirty seconds, after which the lec
ture wns resumed. Detroit Free Press.
I Met It for HucKliitf.
I At the siege of Petersburg n young lieu-
j tennnt, who was very good looking and a
great favorite with tho girls nt home, wns
badly wounded In tho left arm. Several of
tho surgeons declared It was necessnry to
amputnto tho limb; but finally one of them
decided thnt by removing n section of tha
bone tho nrm could bo saved. "But," snld
he, "it will bo a bad Job, nnd when healed
the nrm will lie crooked."
The young lieutenant, thinking that any
kind of an arm was better than no nrm,
nud with a thought for future conquests,
replied:
"Never mind tho crook; set It for hug
ging nnd go ahead." Texas Sittings.
8n veil.
Dnshawny (slinking hands with Miss
Summit at the ball) Do you know, I have
a singular feelliiK, ns if I had come away
and forgotten something.
Miss Summit (coldly) Possibly you are
not nwnre, sir, thnt you have no necktie on,
Dnshawny Oh, Is thnt it? Then, Miss
Summit, tliero Is nothing for you to do but
to introduce me to your guests ns a rising
young poet. Brooklyn Life.
A ItvvUuil Opinion.
"J wns pleased to cnll that cake of yours
a perfect symphony, as you may remem
ber," slid young Mr. Flits nbout two hours
after dinner.
"Well, denr?"
"I want to rovlso that expression, I feel
now ns though I had swallowed n whole
Wagucrlnn opera," Indianapolis Journal,
Why Sho Wept.
Ono of tho bridesmaids wns softly crying
during the ceiemouy, nud her escort, nudg
ing her, whispered:
"Wlint nro you crying for? It isn't your
wedding."
"Tlint's why I'm crying," sho snld.
New York Press.
Hard I.lm-s.
Brlggs You know that old suit of mine?
I sold It for ten dollars today.
Griggs How uice.
Briugs Not nt nil. I had to take the
money and make tho first payment ou my
tailor's bill. Clothier nud Furnisher.
Shot Silk.
Old Iady Hnvo you got any shot silk?
Clerk Sorry; uln't got 11 bit of shot silk
In stock.
Old Laily Cnn't you shoot some while I
wait? Bingiiamton Leader.
Commencement Knanyi.
I heard the cssnjs. That unu ou
The .Mnu'lin Chnrtu ami KIuk John,
The head clrl uiotc. Shu ulth the wreath
Descilhul I.eur'r. YVumlcrliitttou thu 1 loath
Quite picttilv. Another one
Kxplalued "Tho S-pnts l'on tho Sun."
The Iuthience of Ihownlnir, and
The Karly Writings of Oefirgo Ssmt;
ThoTrausiciulcntuI Muwiiuiit; Hun
It Touches Herman Letters Now. ,
All thesu I Mi il llilciud to. -
"What eurllil) (,-ood can these things do?V
I nskid mj si If. "Docs old King John
Tench on to a a patch upon
A cout'f Or tan thespotttU sun
Say whin u toast is turel) done?
Do IJiouuIuk's tuush'd poems till
Thu way to meud n stouklUL' well?"
While 1 wns woudirhiK sadly there,
A sweit Kill l oe, nnd, I declare,
(she talked nltoul all liumub things
From washtubtilonn to niulllti ring's!
Pho had tin panes nil on pie: rJ
Sho knew the choicest way to fry ' ,
Auo)tci.nnd how best to bake , ,, ,,
A tcood old fnshlonid Julian) enko.t'.-ar ,
Next tin) thnt kirl nils aiktd to simru V
The fortunes of n millionaire; .
Shu now reads (Iron ulna's wondrous books,
And leaves the cooklnt; to bur cooks.
Tho uiil who wrote on llrnwnluc's work
Is married to n ucntlo clerk,
Whose Income's small. No kill have they
he scrubs and cooks the ll cloin; dny;
And skin, while bondlnw'o'cr tho iiume,
When she lolled s upon the thniitfv!
rhe lull from school sublimities '1 j
To tattered books of t eclpes.
-bptliiiilleM Oraphli;.
Q
A DECEIVED MAN.
Tha lllnoil Went to III Kfti nt l.nst nnd
IteveiiKe Cuine.
At 9 o'clock jesterdny nfteriiuuti a tall
young man, who wns mostly composed ol
n linen duster nud a Iiotunu nose, placed n
small stand under tho awning ot Au'tiue
A, deposited ou tho stand two or thlec
queer looking glass bulbs tilled with red
ll(uld nud began to cry out:
"Now, then, have your blood tested for
only i nickel! Tho only certain test known
to medical science, nud the only ono ap
proved by the leading physicians of Amur
leal" It was n hot day, nud no one seemed lo
enro about his blood, nud the young man
had been crying nut fur a quarter of an
hour before any one had tho curiosity In
stop. The caller wns a solid llttln man
with n grip, and ho got off a street car on
purpose to call, If tho owner of tho bulbs
had looked at him closely he would have
seen something llko pounded glass, mixed
with carpet tacks, In each eye, but he was
not nu observing man, nnd ho was also
btty crying out:
"Come right tip nud have your blood
tested! Never falls to show you theexact
condition of tho blood, nud Is the only lest
used by tho celebrated doctors of Europe
nud America!"
"She tests, does she?" Inquired tho solid
man ns ho put down his grip.
"She does. Taku this bulb In your hand
If your blood Is nil right tho fluid will rush
into the other compartment."
"Never falls, oh?"
"Never, sir."
"Recommended by all medical men?"
"By nil of 'em, sir. Wlint' tho matter
with you I"
"Tho matter Is I'm going to give you tin)
nil llredest licking an Infernal old fakir
ever gotl" replied the other us ho took off
his coat.
"What for?"
"Because I had my blood tested by thu
blamed tiling two weeks ngo on Houston
street, nud you snld I had tho liest blood In
New York. Same night a rush broke out
nil over mo. Threo days Inter a boll enmo
ou my leg, nnd I've Just got back from
Syracuse, where n doctor told mo thnt I
had the hives nud had got to drink butler
milk nil tho rest of tho summer. Prepare
to Ihi licked!"
"But I couldn't"
He didn't tltiish. The solid man kicked
the table sky high, tho bulbs came down
to scatter their contents over the lings, nud
the yoitug man with the Iiotunu nose
Jumped over two children nnd an Ice cream
cart nud lied swiftly away In search of some
shady dell where madness enters not.
"The bloomiu' Idea of It!" growled the
solid man, ns he put ou his cunt nud pulled
down his vest. "The bloomiu', blasted
idenof my blood hein' the bloodiest In nil
New York, with gooso pimples stnndlu'
out all ovor mo, nud bolls popping nut like
peas from n pod!"
And when lie had gone nwny n butcher
gnthered up the brokcu legs of tho table,
tho barefooted children tracked up the
"medical science" with their dirty feet,
nnd Avenue A returned again to its per
spiring condition. M Quad in New York
Evening World.
When In Doubt Fresh el.
Result of recent political events In Bill
gnrla revival of tho bastinado. A soldier
condemned to receive twenty-llvo strokes
with the whip is handed over to a couple
of comrades, who have orders to strike al
ternately. A disputo arises nt tho eleventh
stroke.
"That makes ten," snld one.
"Twelve!" replies the other.
"Tcnl"
"Twelvol"
""I.say, let us stnrt nfreshl" Mondo Illus
tre. After Number One.
2F $$&&
SfcSW3i
tt??smxr
Vlf t
She Whom do you euro most for, Jack?
He Is it possible you do not know whom
I lovo best In nil this world?
She Yes, I know, but next to him? Life.
Just lis W11.
"As today is your birthday, my life," re
marked the sporting husband, "I'll go nud
shoot n pheasant for you."
"No, no," she remonstrated; "n hare will
satisfy me. They come cheaper, you
kuow." Fllegendo Blatter.
Lack of Iteierence.
"Is young Mr. Gotham familiar with
Drowning In any degree?"
"Familiar?" repented the Boston mnld.
"He's positively lllppant." Indianapolis
Journal.
A Yoiiiii; Diplomat.
"Did you give jour schoolmaster any
thlnu duriuc the holidays?"
"Yes," said the bad little boy, "I nave
him n bottloof lotion to soften his hands."
Epoch.
A I'ollle (Sliest, ,
Lady of the House Well, Herr Mutter,
I hope you are enjoylm; jour dinner?
Herr Mutter Oh, yes I hne todnj nn
appetite worthy of a belter cause!" Seller.
lutftes. Why?
Tho wlfo who iiiakesthehoineuindoshlrt,
The bore w ho ta s and staj s.
The iCAideu fair whodcs lur hnlr,
Tho hen thnt lie i r laj s.
Thecolleu'o limn with mandolin,
Tho dri who "ueer piny,"
Tho clu'tiiut lleiid ,by Nitnn screened),
Tlioc Kmerald paper J)s.
Tliu 1,-lrU jou lovo who don't loo)ou.
The man with fours ou ralc,
He wlio resales ou with thu tales
You heard tu baby dn),
Thu mnn w ho borrow s for n dn
And uu'ir, never p..
The humorist, tho man of whist,
Tho hi ocilto who prays
Tho man who lies alxiiit the site
Of tlsh hu ne'er dlsplns,
Ho "on tho brink" who hates to think
Thnt advertising; pn.
And ui.ui more thnt I uiiitht nniuu
llenentli tho sun's warm ra,
Why iJon't they lleo tiotu w rath and sua
Tho rrror of their wnjs'
-Clothier nnd Furnisher.
lVfi) If, rt2
lb In Sri,
'liwwrt?fw
. " Zj a t i UsH llaEwi
A VICTIM OF HETEROPHEMY.
lln Could Not liny a Door 1'latn nt the
llrjf Hoods Ntors.
A innu with a rather vacant look nnd a
hurried nlr, evidently n dweller In thu
suburbs, with ninny small errand ou hit
mind besides his regular business affairs,
rushed into n dry goudj store tho other day
nnd said to the olork, "I want a small door
plate."
"Don't keep them," replied tho clerk.
"Don't keep door pint?"
"No, sir "
"This Is a dry goods store, Isn't It?"
"Yes sir?"
"Anil you hnvunijarpot department) eh?"
"Yes, sir."
"And sell rugs nud that sort of thing?"
"Yes. sir."
"Anil yet yon don't keep door plntos?"
"No. sir."
"Well, my nslvlco to you nnd your em
ployers, young man," said tho suhurlmc
dweller, ns ho walked nut In disgust. "Is
to lay tu some sort of a complete stock, nt
retire from business."
Then ho dashed lutonenrpet store nnd
asked for a door plate.
"You'll Hud them nt the hnrdwnro
stores," snld the clerk. "We don't keep
them."
"I never saw them nt hardware stores In
all my life," said tho puz.lcd shopper.
"Cnn't help that, sir," replied the clerk,
So ho tried a hnrdwnro store In this way,
"You don't keep door plates here, do you?"
"Certainly we do," said theelerk. "What
size do you want? Brass or silver?" nud
he took down a box ot them and handed
out iiiio of each kind for Inspection,
"What sort of n door mat Is that, sir?"
thundered the annoyed customer, "Why
don't you pay a little more attention to
your business?"
"You said door plate," said the clerk.
"Did I? Did I say door ptnlo? Are you
sure?"
"Certainty, that's what you said."
"Hay, young man, have you got n fool
killer nbout the store? Because if jou
hnvo, I can give him a Job, Here I've been
blundering nil the morning into dry goods
audenrpet stores asking for a door plate,
when I wanted a door mat nil tho time.
I'll go out unit hlru somebody to kick mo!"
Now York Tribune.
The t'j clone.
A country Is certainly "long" on preco
city when it transpires that a school
ma'am, tucked nwny in a desolate corner
of North Dakota, receives the following
essay from a barefooted, blushing youth
with u calico shirt and ono suspender:
CYt'tOKKH.
Ac) clone Is a vviilrllulK iniiitu out ot wind.
They're very destructible and come from Maul
tob), The'ro made by the Canucks and sent
down hero iuiiso we licked em In thu revolu
tion wnr. I think Cnniickstsauicau, under
band people.
Our folks has had lots of trouble, You see,
my innvv is n vv lihler. Wo lost pnvv in a cy
clone. Ono of tlieso hero Canuck c) clones
comes nloutf,iuid the Inst wo see of paw he was
n thrashlu round in the nlr Ixiilt a hundred
feet nlsivo ground with u chicken coop in ono
hand and a saw buck In tho other. Maw said
wo needn't worry, cause pnvv could stand n
tinnier blow en that. Sho said ho'd cumo
back hut he didn't. Then maw got an Idea
thnt paw uot carried way a tiuriKiso, an she
savs she hain't koIii to feel bad till she finds
out whether she's a real w hitler or only n urnss
w Inner.
That's the way maw fcls, nn that's why 1
don't llko cyclones.
Our folks Is dead set nuln cm.
Detroit Free Press.
Mown by tliu Ken.
"Are you enaKe(U" ho whispered low,
And low the sad sea breezes
Went bIuIiIiiu through tho stilly nluht,
And thronuh tho lenvy t ruses.
"Are yon eiiKiiKcd?" ho vvhlstered low,
And low tie white capped billows
Cnuio drumming in upon thu bench,
Orccn friiiKcd with drooping willows.
"Are ) on niKUKetl?" ho whispered low,
And low tho nluht birds .wlnulnif
Their silent courses through the sky,
Drought distant notes of slnshu.'.
"Are jou eiiKiiKcdt" ho whispered low,
"No, no," sho wild, and tnrrled
A moment while ho Mscd her hand;
"No, no," sho suld, "I'm inarjlLil."
Detroit Frio Press.
In Clover.
"Shu is very liu'iutiful, I understnnd."
"Heavenly."
"And her father?"
"Ono of the most genial and kindly o
men."
"And her mother?"
"A delightful lady."
"And her chaperon?"
"Out of sight." Capo Cod Item.
V Satisfactory Apology.
Mr. Flgg Luurn tells me thnt you wero
serenading her last night.
Mudge- Well?
Mr. Flg I Just cmne around to apolo
gize for throwing thnt hair brush at you.
You see, I thought It was thodog. Indian
apolis Journal.
(lot It.
Judge Why did jou steal this man's
gold watch?
Hardened Prisoner I wanted to have n
good time.
Judge You shall. Threo jenrs. Cnll
the next cnsel Exchange.
An Kuceptlon.
"My son," said the old man, "remember
thnt nothing of worth is gained without nu
effort."
"How nbout n pat flush?" nsked tho Ir
reverent youth. Indianapolis Journal.
Etlilflicu.
"I rend j'our spring ocin, Biuks."
"Thnt wasn't u spring poem "
"It must have been. It gave mo thoio
tired fi-llngs right oil. "Now York Sun
A Sootalile I're.cnt.
"Whnt! goinu' to prei-ont your sweetheart
with 11 do.oti black pocket haiulkeichlefs '
"Yc; heV u chimneysweep." Humor
istlsche Blatter
I'ellne Aiueollle.
l.V.W
- ' l. ' I. 1'r
(X2M
n
Ln'iyGodlvndo Rouuepott I don't thiuk
any painting looks well in this horrid eteo
trie light!
Hostess (nettled) Don't you, denr? Per
Imps you would prefer to remain in the
drawing room, where the lamps nnd shades
are! Loudon Punch.
Mwhk MM
Lincoln, : Nhhuaska.
Capital, 250,000
Ojfi'fru iDid Ditretvnt
John II, Wrlicht. Pro. T. i:. Hamlet' V.-l"
.1.11. McUlny, Cashier.
A H Itnjiuond, lll'l.au, Tims Cochran K
It Sior, diss West, F I. HlTeMon.
Oenernl Bunking Business Trnnsncled.
Accounts Solicited,
REMOVAL '
Lincoln Shirt Factory
To 1402 O Stroot.
In lis new location this establishment will
hnvo belter facilities Until ever for turiilmr
nut drsl-class work, and an Increased Hue or
dents' I urnlshlngiloods will always be on
sale. To our business ha been added n
LADIES' TAILORING DEPARTMENT
In which uanuent of nil kind will bo mndo
to order and niivthlnu from tlm smallest 1111-
ihuicnruiful lo tho finest Dress or Cloak will
be sldlirully executed nud uiinlo ou short
notice. In Ihl ilepiutmeiit we omnlny ono
of Din best cutters and litter In the country
mm saiisiiieiiuu i Kiiainuieeii in every par
ticular, Our factoty will hereafter be known
ns the
Lincoln Shirt Mfg. Co.
A, Kateustcln, Hr., Matinvcr, ,
Call nud see us. Cor, 1 1 tit and O HU
SMALL &
WALLACE
Steam Laundry
f- SUPERIOR,
Custom Work.
Wo lire especially wcllpiepared to Innu
dry, Lace Curtains, Lnilles Garment, Fine
Fubtics lite, having special methods lor
doing this work not only satisfactory In
appearance, but without injury to garments
well.
Gentlemen's Shirts, Collars and Caffs. '
nnd nil kinds of i'lne.Staicli work beautiful
done up. Give us n trial.
Leading
PHOTOGRAPHER I
Fluo llust Cabinets 1 per dozen. Hpeclnl
rates to students. Call nnd sec our work.
Studio, 1214 O Street.
Open from 10 11. tu. lo -I p. 111. Hu inlays.
JShnES
S$Ng
toBKYiV
A pamphlet of Information snrtsb.
llrsclu: ins laws, mowing now tun
iibtain rsisnis, i;atcii, irsuiu
-Slurs., ujprngiiu, icni ;r..
. A44rM MUNN !
2,3111 Ilrondwnr,
Hew isrk.
fNACQU'NtO WITH Th OtOOMPHf 0' Tm( CCUNTHV V-aL OITAM
MUCH IH'OKIMftTrOl F9W rVsTT OW TMIB MAF OF THI
V '
Chicago.Rock Island & PaciflcRu
The DIRECT IIOUTE to nnd from CHICAOQ
I13CK ISLAKD. DAVKKPORT, SES M0INK8,
COUNCIL, KI.UTFd WATEHTOWS, SIOUX
FALLS, MINNEAPOLIS ST. TAUL, ST. JOS
EPH, ATCHISON. LEAVENWORTH. KANSAS
CITV.TOPEKA. DENVEU, COLORADO SPNOS
nod PUEBLO.
SOLID VESTIBULE EXPRESS TRAINS
cf Through Coarhes Slpers, Free Ktcllnln
ChAlr Cars ami Dlnlnit Cars daily bstwrcn CHI
CAOO. DES MOINES, COUNCIL IlLUFKS and
OMAHA, and bttwira CHICAGO and DENVEU,
COLOltADO SPHINOS and PUEBLO via 8U
Jcstph, or Kansas City and Toprkn.
Via The Albert Loa Routo.
Fast Express Trains dal'y iMtwcwn Chlcatro
und Minneapolis and St Pa it, with THUOUOH
Itecllnlni; Chulr Cars TUEEl to nnd rrom tho.s
liolnts and Kansas City Tbrottirh Cbalr Car
and Slesper between Peoria, Spirit Laku unJ
Bloux Falls via Rock Island.
For Tickets, Man. Folders, or desired Inform v
tlon. apply nt any Coupon Ticket Oittce, or ulilro
E. ST. JOHN, JOHN SEBASTIAN,
Oen'l Manasor, Oer'lTkt. Pass. Airt.,
CHICio ILL
LINCOI.K
AMI ISsIITlTI. 1 ILMUXtllll
Bin 'Minimi, and I4)nrilln, I. Hie Ust and lark-itt
Collesvin Hie Wist n Miulrnls 111 ailindnuv I il
)eir Milt, lit rcuind , r IiikIiivis In in-m itn
nn 'in In KxiH-rldiocUaculiv IHrvmal InsinieiKm.
lU-auilful lllntirutitl cil dtwur, (slle.- jmiriuu.. ui4
".vlniens i,f 'iiinaiilil. soul frif by ml.lr. snIii;
ULI.tlUtllMU: ItOO-d:. Lincoln. Nct
pHORREUIVE KVCIIRE.
."-,, , SnJ l'UI Sole to Jous SEIusiiiK, O.T. A.
H.'. ...iV 1 ." J" CblMo an.l rwsltr. po.tJI paid,
tbssllokettdrcsolrsM.jouev.rrlisaJM.
Tea tests er os.k. use ot lusiijr
3ya&
ELws ''' '' 'W UjJ
i A'A, l''v,SvttfcVtA. siV.Lt t;
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