-Ctt - CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, JUNE 20, 1891 ps Chicago and Erie R. R. (Lnto'Chlcngo A'Atlantlo ll'y.) In Connection with the Erie Railway koumh tiik:onia;i.ink THE ARIZONA KICKER. h Ul Tkam. A norvous woman was on lionrd a Maine Ctntrnl train tho oilier day, on her way to Auburn. At uvury station she JuiiihmI up and nskfd, "Is this Auhttruf" although tho tiowslmy had assured her nftcii that she should bo no tilled when thnt place wa reached. At hut tho plnca wiv reached, tho tiamo at tho stntlou was called, nnd, a It hap pened, tho newsboy wo. near at hand. "l)o I lo I do I leave tho cars hcrof" Inquired tho niixloit passenger. "Yc, ma'am," answered tho newsboy, "unlcs you wish to lake thorn with you." Tho lady looked several volumes nt hltn nnd slammed thu door a sho went out. Lwwlston Journnl, me of the Annoyance Attendant Vpmn InuriialLm. Wr Din It. Dill llnrUnka. tho mnle whacker tin the other nldo of tho creek, I trylnn to nmko n grent mystery of tho fact that he got ft doso of bird shot In this town the other evening. Ho say that aomo ono certainly attempted to wwajlnto him ft ho was riding along Cheyon'iio street nt midnight, nnd ho think of offering a re ward of WOO for tho arrest of tho wretch. William It simply playing tho public, ho can't play us. Wo had just strctohod out on our cot Thursday night, nnd thu hour was abont 13, when Bill enmo along on his old dromedary. Wo heard hint cuss lug while ho wn yet a long ways olT. When he reached thu office ho dismounted and hunted up a club, nnd was nbout to mash In a window when wo (wppurud hint Q0 YOU WANT to reach steady u and liberal purchasers in this part of the Country? Lincoln, : Nebraska. Capital, $250,000 K Officers ami Directors. ' John II. Wright, Trc. T. K. Banders, WI- J. II. McCtny, Cashier. A 8 Knyinond, It I tall, Tho Cochran K H Hlier, Chai West, K L HlFoldon. General Banking Business Transacted. Accounts Solicited. IIKTWKKN WE HAVE advertising space for onto nt roQonnririln rtnt "i Chicago and New York sale at reasonable, not "cheap," rates. One Ciinaulatlnn. Under One Mnnngemcnt. Lincoln Floral Conservatory SOLID TRAINS. The Through Train ot this Lino between Chi- cngo nud New York nre run aolld, thin avoiding nnnoynnco nnd conntalon of clinnglnK enr or mining connection! Corner G and 17th Streets. r?wiiiii mu, if! PW I rag tl Vestibule Limited Service Votlhulc(l Limited Train, connljtlng of Hftg- gngo, Hmoklng unit Day Conchoy. with Pullman Dining nnilHIoonlngOnr (hented hy steam, lighted hy gns), ;kover thl Lines Every Day In the Year. Pullman Service to ItoSton. A Pullman DuiCet Sleeping Cor to nnd from llotton il'illy via thU route Thl It tho ONLY MN'Klltunnlng irullmnn Car between Chicago nnd Uonton. BUCKEYE ROUTE To Colninlii,;Ohlo, nnd Aahlnnd, Ky. Pullman Sleeping Car betweonl Chicago nnd nbovu Point dally. Trntn Arrive nnd Leave Dearborn Station, CHICAGO. For further Inforiniitlon, cnll on tho nearel Knllrond Ticket Agent, or nddrc W 0 Blaeanon, A M Taoker, D I Robert, Gen. I'm. At. Gen.Mgr. A.O.I. Agt. New York. Cleveland. Chlciigo Santa Fe Route ! Atchisop, Topeka & Santa Fe R. R The Popular Route to the Pacific Coast. Through Pullman and Tourist Sleepers Between Kansas City and SAN DIEGO, LOS ANGELES, and SAN FRAN CISCO. Short Line Rates to . PORTLAND, Oregon. Double Dally Train Service Between Kansas Clt and' PUEBLO, COLORADO SPRINGS, and DENVER. Short Line to SALT LAKE CITY. The Direct Texas Route Solid Trains Between Kansas City and Galveston. The Short Line Between Kansas City and Gainesville, Ft. Worth, Dallas, Austin, Temple, San Antonio, Houston, and all Principal Point in Texas. The Only Line Running Through the OKLAHOMA COUNTRY. The Only Direct Line to the Texas Pan Handle. For Mans and Time Tables and Informa tion Regarding Rates and Routes Call on or Address E. L. PALMER. Passenger Agent, 411 N.Y. Life Building, OJWCJLUJL., NEB. A 15 MjShVt FOR 10 GEM AT- SAM WESTERFIELD'S, BURR : BLOCK. Ladle Uh Dr. I.f lino' I'orloillcnl Pills from Pari, Trance. That positively re Hnvn uimnroNsloiiH. inniithlv deraueeinenta and Irregulurltlen caused by cold, weakness, Rliock, anemia, or general ncrvou tieiuiny. Tho large proportion of Ills to which ladle and mlrfos are liable Is the direct result of a disordered or Irregular menstruation. Hup. presBlons continued result In blood polwoulug utid quick consumption. U- package or3 for 15. Hoilt dliect on receipt of price. Hold hi Lincoln by II. W. llrown, druggist. f flOOO.OOft )tr Itbrlnff mU tjr John It. (ioolMn,lr"f .nl fit fvr ut Itrailar, you limy iioi make inufh.bul ran ch yiHjqukhly liow tuiam (it-miJtr VlUtUlfll 111 II III, RIIU 1IIUIF iijou go on, Hviuivita.au agrt map) noi inrrlri. you ran cviniiitiirr at tiuuif . ut. lug all )fur tliuv,rr rv luuinrtiUonlyto the Muik All U iitH hi rut ay M KK Ut tttrr vurktr W atari ou. furnithlnr vtiythliir. KAHIIA.M'tHUU lrucr. J-AlflKLXAJtH HIF .. til.lretaatonra, b.lbOM 10., 1KTL Ml, AlftK7 iN! WteaS A pamphlet of Information and b- lirClUK IDO iaWB,VUUTCIIlK uun wn Obtain faiania, laTeaii. -irnuofl s.uurii, uoprngni, rou irti.. .AUnm MUHH iJIUl Hromdwuf. wtw ra.. BaaaZ WaPLB CutElowers and "Resigns For Weddings, Funerals, Parties, Receptions, Etc. General Collection of Plants. Visitors Always Welcome. City Orders by Telephone Promptly Filled. W. S.SAWYER & CO. Price List Free. Telephone 34 REMOVAL.. Lincoln Shirt Factory To 1402 O Street. In Its new locution thl ettahllttlimeiit will have better fur lilt leu than over for turnlnir out tlrst-class work, and an Increased Hue of Gents' Furnishing Goods will always be on rnilo. To our business hat been added a LADIES' TAILORING DEPARTMENT In which garments of nil kinds will ho mndo to order mid anything from the smallest un dergnriueut to tho linen I)ret or Cloak will bo skillfully executed nnd mndo on short notice. In this department wo entnloy one oft bo host cutters and titters In tho country nnd satisfaction Is guaranteed In every par ticular. Our factory will hereafter bo known as the Lincoln Shirt Mfg. Co. A. Katzcnstetn, 8r., Mnnngcr. Cnll and seo us. Cor. tltliand O His SMALL & WALLACE Steam Laundry -f- SUPERIOR f- Custom Work. We are especially welljprepared to laun dry, Lace Curtains, Lndies Garments, Fine Fabrics Etc, having special method for doing this work not only sntisfactery in appearance, but without injury to garments ns well. GjitUnun's Shirts, C)llars anl Caffs, and all kinds of Fine Staich work beautiful done up. Give us a trial. PHOTOGRAPHER! Fine llust Cabinets ) per dozen. Hpeclal rates to students. Cnll and see our work. Studio, 1214 O Street. Open from 10 a. m, to 4 p. m. Hundays. j. S. EATON, Physician and Surgeon Office: 239 South Eleventh St. Mc.Murtry Block. Office Phone 561. Residence Phone 562. LINCOLN, NEB. AND IN8TITCTK OK 1'KNMAXIIir. ?-!'Vir.'j!!li,!.l;ift"l,..T)'l'owl'l"l"';u tlie " "d lureitt h.,r "sin l'",.W,,,' 'JNtuiients la attrlidaneeliut M....V.I,. ,... .,,v' '."."' ",r u"ines in irnin .lion KL".ARr:flV."!L'"?!1y J,T--.i.!l.l.trml.., :. ,,.,...; .".'.'"' """"WW. niiw jmiriii. uiui "eclmeiu of .'umuihlji, win f rctt liy mliln lng WLUUUIUaE ft ItOOSE. Lincoln. Neb T9HUGHEUIVI! GVCHRB, "T"i. . 5.?.,,J,Sujmo, to "." MBurui, o.T.A. it ;... .' ..ipiro. ana rmiv. nottua natd. 0Mt d of card you .r.rT hanJlSd. sfffijiS teH LINCOLN W(st WK I'RN'EIIRD HtM. with n handful of lino shot kept on hand for such emergencies. We hardly bolluved any of them would get through tho buck skin nnd dirt, but It seems they did, nnd hu had to have n doctor pick them out. Tho best thltiK BUI can do Is to keep shut. Ho attempted n smart trick and Kot loft, and there isn't n man this slilu of Toinlc stouc who would havo cared If nil tho shot had gono clean throtiKh him nnd Ills drom edary too. CALL Him Off. ir tho so called Major Skinner, who has Ion-fed nrouuil this town for thu last six mouths, ha any friends who have his welfare nt heart, they will cnll him oil tho erch. It scums tho major bos been laylnn his pipes for office, nnd that our article of two weeks ago, nskltiK him where hu stolo his last cow, has some what clouded his prospects. lie now threatens to shoot us on sight, nnd wa seen nt tho postofllco yesterday with n big revolver buloiiKihK to Luku Hlgglns. Wu retrrct these little ununynticoo, but if they must Ihj met wo are not tho man to shrink from the task, Tomorrow nfter noon, after our first form kocs to prtws and wo work off 200 miction bills, wo shall trap on our gun nnd take n walk. If Major Skinner has departed from Tucson bo tuny live to bo n hundred years old; If ho hasn't ho will mnko No. 10 in our pri vate grnvoynrd, This is official, nnd come right from headquarters. Poou OLD Man I Tho wheezy, broken backed press owned by our esteemed co temporary fell to pleees tho other dnyns hu was netting ready to work his outside form, nnd as .soon ns wo heard of tho acci dent we tendered him tho use of ours. He gratefully accepted, but, nlasl no act of kindness or generosity can chnngo thu leopard's spots! His circulation, while given as 3,550, Is in reality only I!S0. Hu hadn't thu manhood nbout him to bring along his 2S0 sheets of white paper and de pend on our honor, but ho hku n cart nnd drives up with two whole bundles, nnd then pretends ho has run short. Two men were kept hard at work nil day, nnd hun dreds of sheets of paper wore recklessly wasted, that thu old hypocrite nnd falsifier might flatter himself that we were deceived. Wo don't like such men. Wo can't believe they nro nu ornament to 11 growing west ern town. No Boom. Wu undcrstnnd thnt several real estate firms in this town have com bined to get up n Iwom nnd mnku things jump. In fact, they offered us a half page ad. for this week, but wu didn't take It. As an individual wu miglit client n man from Omaha nt poker, but as an editor we can't be hired to help swiudlo our sub scribers. In order to offset thu machina tions of this syndicate we wish to say Wo have got tho fag end of onu railroad here, nnd neither want nor will over bo able to get anything more. Society Is not cultivated. Such a thing as (i toothbrush or 11 votumuof poems found on a man licit: would hung him The land around thu town is ho poor that It takes nine feet of it over 11 dead mule to hold the carcass down. It is not a trado center. Wo havo tho Digger Indian on three sides of us, nnd a lnrgo family of coyotes ou tho fourth. The climate wobbles all over creation, making the demand for buffalo skin over coats nnd linen dusters nbout equal and mighty steady It is not a sanitarium for invalids. If the climate didn't kill 'em our doctors would. This is about all, but enough to put our subscribers on their guard and to clenrour conscience if ourndvico is not taken. Now, gentlemen of tho combination, go ahead with your boomletl M. Quad in New York World. Conquered. "Go!" No, tills is not tho story of a horso race. Tho monosyllable that heads this chapter was hurled by the Marquis do Bllletto at the head of his errant sou and heir. "Gol" repented tho proud father. "Let mu never see your fnco again. Never ngnln shall your foot cross this threshold. To think thnt 0110 of your noble name and llneagu should wed an obscure salesgirl! Gut thee hence! As long as I live these an cestral halls shall never Ihj darkened hy yonr vllo presence. Go starve or steal, I care not which You can bring 110 uioro disgrace upon our honored name than you have already done." "Yes, I can, fathur," said tho yo.mg man In n hard, metallic voice, which harmo nized well wiih tho steely glitter in his eye and his bru.en front. "Either you for give me or 1 go to work. You shall hnvo live minutes in which to decidu." In four minutes tho haughty nobleman had found his mind nnd in thirty seconds more had mndo it up. "You havo won," said ho. "But llttlu did I dream of thu depths of depravity in your nature that you have today revealed." Indianapolis Journal Educational Itrm, A gentleman who was visiting ono of tho public schools iu a Texas towu asked a bright looking boy "What profit Is there in nnclent history?" "About fifty cents, I reckon," was the reply. "What I" "Well, the teacher makes us buy the books, and wo hnvu to pay n dollar. 1 think hu gets them for fifty cunts, accord log to my calculation." Texas Sifting I may Ih "ynllcr." And colored with fleas, Cut my pant, thank tho Lord, Don't bag nt tho knoo. -Ufa. He Knew III lliialnrm. Bho came Into it Woodward avenuo gro cery store nud shipped her basket down on the lid of n sugar barrel with n crash. "I got three pound of Inrd hero yester day," she said, "mid paid cash for It nt credit prices." "Yes, ma'am," stuttered tho clerk. "No, ma'am; wo always mnko n discount for cash," he said In correction. "Well, whatever you did," shu wont on, "I want to say It was short half a pound, and If it happens thnt way again I'll quit buying hero." Hy this time the proprietor had come for ward, and hu took thu matter In charge. "Did you say half n pound short, mad am?" ho politely Inquired. "Of course, I did; nro you denff" "No, madam, but I was upon tho third lloor, nud tho speaking tuliofrnm this floor has got n win! of nice fresh butter fast In It; butter Is going up, you know." "Is It?" she exclaimed. "Well, glvo 1110 flvo pounds right nwny." "As to the lard, madam," continued the suave nud portly proprietor, 11 ho noted down thu order, "I aiuglail that It showed up so well. That lard Is warranted to mnku plo erusts, biscuits, pastry nnd every thing you put it in shorter to thu quantity used than any lnrd over put on thu market, but I had no Idea, madam, that it was equal to making Its own weight short n half pound In uvury three. Iteally, madam, I'll gladly glvu you tho extra half pound for your disinterested, unsolicited testimo nial to its excellence. 'John' to tho clerk 'wrap up nu extra half pound of lard nnd put It with tho live pounds of butter for Mrs. Blank.' Anything olso today, mad am?" And before sho knew what sho was doing sho hnd run up n bill of ten dollars mid loft thu store in good humor, with four or flvo pretty advertising cards for thu children. Detroit Free Press. Tlin Mutter Explained. Young Hnnkinson (mnkltig n call) You have hod that parrot a long time, Miss Laura? Miss Laura Yes, wo havo had hltn sev eral years. "Quito Intelligent, Is ho not?" "Very. He can Imltato almost any thing." "Thuy havo n remarkably clever parrot over at tho Casturllus', Miss Laura. It can Imltato tho sound of n kiss to perfection. Is thnt among thu accomplishments of our feathered friend hero iu thu corner?" (Indignantly): "No, sir. Hu does not nt tempt an imitation of a Round he is not ac customed to hear, Mr. Hnnkinson." Tho Pnrjrot Wult, George, dear, till 1 tnko this bird out of thu room. Chicago Tribune. Getting Out or It. Tho llttlo six-year-old daughter of a Buffalo lawyer extricated herself from a difficulty the other day with tact. Sho hnd Just recovered from u long illness, nud sat bolstered up In lied feebly counting her pennies. Sho decided tlmt there were twonty-nlno, nnd her papa gave her nnothcr to make the number thirty. letter her mother helped her to count them nnd they found thirty-ono. Thu father then entered a protest nud asked her to return his I penny, as shu had obtained It under fnlse pretenses. Shu looked up in doubt from tuu 111.uu pne 01 pennies 10 ner miner nnu then said: "I 'dess I can't glvo It back to you, for I can't tell which ono you gavo me." Buffalo Enquirer. My Laity' Hulr. It U not dark llko raven night: Nor Is it fair; Nor Is It burnished with tho light Tliut bronzed tho hair Of those fair Saxon maids of old. Of whom thu minnesinger told And sung ulth sweet Inspired How Ho long ago! It hath a sutct, hypnotla sinoll Of Mowers rare, That wove about my brntn a spell This Incensed enure! I worshliwd but tho charm for me Has vanished. In n dream I seo My lady's hair colled tenderly Upon n chair! -C. O. Itogcra in Detroit Free- Preaa A Grent Future Ilefure This Hoy. , Mr. Flgg What on earth Is all that yell ing nbout? 1 Tommy It's me, paw. I nm hollering llko n locomotive I'm tho bent hollcrur In our crowd. Mr. Figg I seo nothing to Imj proud of in thnt. Tommy But I do. paw. When us boys piny cars with Johnnie Brlgg's wagon, I got to sit In thu wngon and yell, while the other boys do the pulling. Indianapolis Journnl. Jobntilu Wasn't Hurry. "1 am truly sorry, Johnnie," said tho 1 friend of tho family, meeting tho llttlo boy 1011 thofctreer, "to learn that your father's house was burned down yesterday Was I nothing saved?'' 1 "Don't you wustu uo grief on me," re plied Johnnie. "All of paw's old clothes were burned up iu that lire, and maw can't inako any of 'em over for mo this time, I'm nil right l"-Troy Press. I entering It Up. "You bad boy, you havo mndo n grease I spot 011 tho new sofa with your bread mid 'butter," said Mrs Fizzletop to her sou J Johnnj-. J "Never mind, ma, you can sit on It when I there U company In the parlor." Texas Sifting H. W. BROWN DRUGGSITWBOOKSELLER The Choicest line of Perfumes. D. M. Ferry V Finest Flower unc' Garden Seeds. 127 South Eleventh street. SIDEWALK AND BUILDING 0 BRICK rBBBBBBBBP Most Popular Resort in the City. Odell's New Dining Hall, S. J. ODKLL, I'uoi'iiimoK -o 1528 O STREET. o Meals 25 els. $4.50 per Week. B nsasBB TUB DIltBCT LINK TO Chicago, Peoria, St. Louis, St. Joseph, Kansas City, Ai.d all points Knot nnd Kouth, Deliver and the Pacific Coast, A I.SOTO Deadwoou, Lead City, the Celebrated Hot Springs of Dakota Anil all polut In the lllack Mill-, THROUGH VESTIBULE TRAINS DAILY HhTWBBS DENVER, OMAHA CHICAGO Pullman Palace Sleeping Car. Reclining Chair Cars, Seats Free. Famous Burlington Dining Cars. Bremeo, Hamburg, Berlin, Vienna, Paris, London, Havre, Liverpool, Glasgow, Dublin, Londonderry and all European Points. can lir.sTiu: ltr.AciiBit by tub BXJSi-.insroTonsr ibotjtb, A it coiineeth'.wlth nlltheiopuhir lliirf ocum Kteanmhlp. A. C. ZIBMBlt, City r. Ant., I.lueoln. -'. 1'IIANCIS, Oen, l'n. Atst.. Oninhn, Neh VITRIFIED PAVERS J.A.BU GKSTAFF Nebraska's Leading Hotel. THE HURRAY Cor. 13th nnd Harney Hti,, OUAIIA, .1 X-TXTJB. STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS AH Modem Improvements nnd Conveniences. B. BILLOW AY, Pio-rletor. IRA MOBY, Principal Clerk y vj ur iuu7