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CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY MAY 30, 1891
Rudge & Morris,
LEONARD.
TOO MANY Airp.
ir
REFRIGERATORS,
QUICK MEAL
GAS AND GASOLINE
STOYES.
Blr
Hot Air Furnaces,
Water Coolers,
Water Filters,
Gold Bronze and
Brass Bird Cages,
Builder's Hardware.
Rudge & Morris
1122 N Street.
lo tlniln't .Kkpil Too Many OiMtlon
llo .Mlijlit I litre Hindi.
A traveler tluil luul stopped tit n tumble
down log homo In 11 wild piutnf Ki'iittirky
wan much disgusted with tho corn bread
mill niuelil bucon tlint wiw placed upon tho
tnhlo.
"I ilon't wo how jnti cnii stand such fiiro
nil tho time," said tho traveler, speaking
to the "Inuillurtl."
"Wall, inulihy yo' eyesight ain't as good
an initio. Kf It was 1 reckon yo' could seo
it."
"I svo a niitnlwr of chickens In tho yard.
Why ihin't j on kill somo of theinf"
"They nlu't never ilono too no harm,"
said tho Keiitnrkhiti.
"Hut why ilon't yon wit soinoof thoinr"
"Wall, they ilon't belong to tno. They
air mam's."
"Why ilon't you kill ono of those young
pigs out thorur"
"Jest iii hoi m kill ono out thoro as any
whiir, but I ain't got tiothln' iiiu any one
of them."
"I moan, why ilon't you oat ono of
them?"
"Oh, wall, they ilon't belong to mo.
They aru Nan's."
"I seo jou havo turkeys. Wliy ilon't
you ent somo of thoinf"
"They ilon't belong to me. They air
Mil's."
"Ih there niiythitiu on thu nlaeo that im.
longs to you f"
"Vas, I've got n pint cup."
"IsthatalH"
"All!" indignantly exclaimed tho Ken
tucklim. "Why, coiifouuil yo' hide, what's
better to drink llcker nutoii thiiu a pint
cupf Ixjok hero, do you think I'm stuck
up an don't want to 'soclato with my
neighbors? Stranger, I'm afeerd that If
you stay round hero long you will learn
our people how to put on airs. I reckon
you'd better mosey."
"Hut I don't want to leave during such
weather a? this."
"Mister, when tho moral of a neighbor
hood aro nt Ktaku t ho weal her don't amount
to nothln'i yo' boss Ih out tlinr in tho sta
ble, tin' yanilcr Is tho road. Mosoyl Mam,
step out tliar an turn that bulldog loosul"
That evening about (1 o'clock a weary
and drenched man was seen jogging along
a muddy road. Arknnsuw Traveler.
"iff"
Thn C'uiue or tin. IH)fr4Mliin.
Tho speaker ilrnw hluifclf up luajestlo
ally, his eyes Hushed Urn tiuil his voice rang
out over tho assembly iu theso Htlrrlng
wordsi
"Tho llagr Tholmnnorof nureountryt
Imperlshablo einblein of llbertyl Forever
lloat our glorious standard lulhopuro air
of heaven, and within tho (irotectlug sha
dow of Its sun kissed folds may tho count
loss mllliotiH of happy liuuiau beings yet to
coino bless with united heart and voice thu
day that saw It unfurled at tho birth of a
now nation." Itnineiiso and long contin
ued applause.
"What was your Idea In Introducing
that glowing period alniut tho Hag In a
speech on Tho Laerustlno Origin of tho
l'ralrlesf " Inquired a friend, after tho nil
dleiitu had been dlsiulssed.
"I was obliged to stop to take a drink of
water," explained tho lecturer, "and
illdn't want to lose my grip on tho audi
enco." Chicago Trlbiino.
An Otumlulit.
This Old Rkliahlij
FOLSOM
Is still Ilendipinrtcrs for
Ice Cream
Ices. Cakes. Candies. Etc.
Testing n Trunk.
A slim faced man with a graveyard
cough was inspecting some trunks in front
of a Grand street store yesterday, when
tho proprietor of tho store appeared and
asked:
"Looking for a trunk, sir?"
"Yes."
"Hero's tho best four dollar trunk ever
made, and I'm tho only ono that sells 'cm
at less than live dollars."
"Xo good," replied tho pnlo faced man,
with u sorrowful shako of tho head. "One
of these trunks wouldn't stand tho Jour
ney from here to I'oughkeopslo."
"What! I'll warrant 'em to go around
thoworldl Tako hold of ono and bang it
nbout and convince yourself."
"Do you glvo mo leave to wrasslu with
onof"
"Of course I dol Take right hold."
Tho man with the graveyard cough drew
inn full bieath, called out: "Scho-neck-ta
day," as If warning a carload of passen
gers, and then leached for tho trunk.
"Klpl"out ono of the handles; "r-l-pl"
went the other, and as ho stood It on end
mill upset it and Hopped It back again ono
hingo busted loose anil tho cover split in
two. With n twist of tho wrist ho gave it
a slam bang which completed the wreck,
and with a bow to tho truiikniaii ho Joined
tho crowd and disappeared.
"Upon my soul!" gasped tho proprietor
as ho viewed tho ruins, "but I made a big
mistake in him! He's a baggage master
instead of a dying traveler." Now York
World.
An lliirinoiiloiis Trio.
Three Germans a Saxon, a Bavarian nnd
n Prussian were traveling together. They
called at n wnysldo inn, had a glass of beer,
paid and took their departure. A few steps
farther on tho Saxon observed:
"I noticed a lino sliver watch hanging on
a nail over tho counter."
"Let us go back and fetch it," said tho
lliivarlun.
"Useless trouble," added tho Prussian,
"I havo It iu my pocket." liavard.
No Tlt'ki'U Tuken nt tho Door.
One of our very swollest young men
niwlo a call on a young lady at her home
in a suburban town recentlv. Tim irlil
i who opened the door was green very. Our
cMjuisiio proiicroil Ills card.
"I wish to we Miss I., ," ho said.
Tho girt caught him by tho coat sleevo
and dragged him iu with a jerk.
"Go light iul" she exclaimed. "Wo don't
need no tickets. Go right iul" Boston
Hecord.
ml "j
m JW (I
"What havo you got in tho bag, Mosof"
"Kr er ham, sah dat I Iwught down
utile village, sah."
"A ham, eh? Why didn't you get 'em
to pluck tho tnll feathers?" Mfe.
Tiiiillng rrovlilfiiro.
"Wharyou gwlnu at?" screamed a Crog
Iiiiii stieet colored woman to a ragged half
grown boy as ho started out tho door.
"Gwlne down to Miss Snilf's."
"What you got In dat bug?"
"Bar's a plllarsllp full oh feathers oiiten
dat ol' tick what Miss Smlf ilono tol' mo to
fetch back to her."
"Does you speu you kin calhy them to
her Iu broad day light?"
"Cosu I kin."
"Co-eyou calntdonoslch n thing, you
ig'nant nigger. You tloiiii' know ills yer
town 't all, honey. .lis lav dat nlllarsllii
iu dar on do bald tell hit gits dahk an' den
toto urn erlong to Miss Smlf."
"Wlmtrurf"
"Doaii' you bo nxln whoppers. Kf -u
knowed yo own halt! film n ptinkln, clille,
you'd knowdatef deso yer osslfers oh do
law was to ketch do angel Gab'el gwlno
erlong wld a hag oh feathers on his pussoti,
an' Gab'el was as brack as you Is, dey'd
'rest liluisli'i'ii jedginentday. Das what
fur. Now you leave doiu feathers wluir
dey Is, an' doan' go roun' heah teinptlu'
Providence. You heah me." Detroit Free
Press
ltot Icil KugH ami Music.
A certain head cook in Berlin has dis
tinguished himself by composing a polka
which Inaugurates an era of good fellow
ship between tho culinary art and music.
This now piece Is entitled tho "Boiled Kgg
Polka," anil contains tho following recipe
on the first page: "To boll eggs, put them
Into scalding water, play tho 'Boiled Kgg
Polka' iu allegro inoderato time, and tako
them out at the end of the last bar. Thoy
will bo found dono to a nicety." Famille.
A Mvely lliinliiin.
A land nnd building concern, owning a
largo plot of ground on tho outskirts of
tho town, received an oiler from tho cor
poration to purchase a few acres for a com-
I etery. Iu dismissing tills proposal ono of
tho shareholders expressed himself ns fol
lows: "Gentlemen, our laud has been lying
dead long enough. I vote that wo turn it
into a cemetery, by way of putting lifo
into thu concern." Lustlgo Blatter.
Our Special order
ment for catering to
residence and parties
most popular in the
"Prompt deliver)', pure
ami reasonable prices
motto.
depart-
private
is the
city
yoods
is our
ICE CREAM PARLOR NOW OPEN.
1307 0 SI. Telephone 501
A Sail Oonilltloii.
First Bank President Did you sec about
tho president of the Ninth National? Xo
sooner was ho dead than they discovered
that ho had defaulted to tho amount of
100,000.
Second Bank President Yes, I saw it.
It is getting son bank president can't die
with any safety. Boston Courier.
A Tcrrllilu Mulitmimi.
"I tell you what it Is, ovitch carlin,"
said the car, "you've got to stopoveki
making angel cakeovitches." .
"Why, soskl?" asked tho czarina.
"JJecauseovitch that llttlo bitolll I ato
last nlghtskl made mo dream that wo had
Georgeovitch Iveiiuauowski hero to dine
ovitch." Life.
Ilumi Si'iims
A Nebraska farmer lately drowned him
self iu his wife's rain water barrel because
, his hired man hitched up tho old blind
horse on the near Instead of the off side.
' We heartily commend tlint mini's mmw,.
Snino men would have sworn at tho man,
jawed tho dog and kicked tho wife out of
doors. Arkansnw Traveler.
Purchase Your
Direct from the Manufacturers
AND SAVBMONhY.
Having opened a brunch store of unr own'
in I.liu'oln uu Mill now huvi nil opportunity i
of doing mi,
If desired we PI H'll on I
Tim Ktiiriiiil ritums.
"But there Is no bathroom In your
house," ho protested to a .ler-oy City land
lord. "But don't you see, my dear man, that I
OWII the barber shot on thu corner, mnl
havo reduced the price of b.iths to twenty
cents." Now York World.
Ovtirrciirlii-il II Iiiihi-IT.
Miss Swansdown (at tho ball) hat did
you do with my shawl, Mr. Peterkinf I
gave It to you to keep half an hour ago.
! j-eieiKiu (pmiiuciug a slip of paper)
I Great heavens, what have I done! In a lit
I of absent inimlednes I took It out and
I pawned It. Cloak Hovlow.
A Unite or it IIiikIiihiiI.
I Young Wife-We are told to "cast our
I bread upon tho waters."
The Brute But ilon't jou do It. A ves
sel might run against It and get wrecked.
New York Herald.
Too Oniit it lllak.
Passenger Conductor, ono of tho but
tons on the dress of that lady In front of
tnohas fallen off. Here It is, and I think
you hail better tell horiihout It.
Conductor (grullly) Why don't you tell
her yourself?
PasM-nt'or Not much. I'm her husband.
Clo.ik Hoviow.
Hotel l.ii;le.
Guest How is this? My bill this tlmo Is
four dollars a day, and last Deceinlwr I
hud tho same room and It was only three
dollars a day.
Uitk e, I know; but tho days
much longer now. Boston Courier.
Dedicated to Col. FLOYD 0LARKS0H.
THE) VETERANS.
A MEMORIAL DAY SELECTION.
Used hy permission oj Hitchcock it1 McUnryo PuhUshinj Co., New York,
I'limii)
to lexpoiiKilili pni Hi
Clioot Muel:
1 S T U Y ,S:
lil South Tenth i.
II. M .,
IO eci-i-c
C A M 1
Iteliilli
-Ml w wH
A Tisl.
"Henry, if you truly love me, you
provo ii in some way.
"Nothing easier, my love. Thu
hero Is very deep ami swift, .luniii in
you shall weu how quickly I will hnvo you
out again. " Kllegeiido Blatter.
Hilly,
Cniiductor-Step forward there, please.
Irate Passenger I'm forward as far as I
can go There'n no room forward.
Wag-You are wrong, lr. There's
about hi.s miles of space just ahead of the
hoiM's. Ihuper's B.iur.
Words by WILLIAM W. BADOEn.
Jfiitttoto,
MubIo by DAVID T. SHAW.
Am-" M, H7n7d nml Jilue."
mg&mmmm
I. Co
a.
II. And
4. Co .
linn lila, lliyvpt Vans aro marching,
boon all (ho soldiers Mill bo sleeping,
nil (ho coming jours (ell tho sto -ry,
luin -bin, thy ho roes as -win-blo,
uf
Aid mnrch-lng down In. to tho
tin
trntA .
Allll SIKIII llll Dill IIHMillll U III Iu. .,,,1,1. C.... -
. :. i. ' ......v i'iiii, , nin ii
iiow rar and fast they nmrcheil In lty.mp, With
W hom Onint Iwl lo fmno iu l.x ty . live, And tho
rr
-iieHC
-T0
seHE5rg
'0- i ,, V ,, I I
cfaiiiiiiiiic
:zr&
EflSE
'l " t-l g--l.R
, - r -v-r
n I .
WMmml
5MHS1
grandly
tho bliio jiklei urn nrohlng.
grato-ful laud will bo uepnliiir.
(liiliinpfjn and svvoiits, to endless glory,
p.ilo lips of treason shall tremble
-C3-.
Tho
WlieiM tho
Till
Whllo
laud which limy olTcn-d life to mva
last old.. vet 'ran Is laid;
all our no-bio vlo Cries worn won j
lovu keeps tliolr iiiciii 'ry a-llvoj
Freedom
Itiilo your
Then
And tho .
,jIligl
-iJ-'W
.N-N-
-y-g-3zrarKg . r-
Z3&
tnr
llvc-, though lier bravo sons aro dy - lug,
I .t., men, to-day and not to-morrow,
cheer, men, to-day aud not to-inor row,
old ling shall lloat on for ev or.
gl
And
(live a
Droit a
With
lb cr ty no longer Is a llo,
cheer to ho-roes passing byr
I''"1 for wilillers passing by,
' stars still coining In vlow,
And
"J'ls
And
And tho
-.--- -0- P p ' 4-5- 1
w . 3- 2-L?
f i i i .j i
iiLi5pfe-f&
I ri '7 1-i.r. rz.ig w i mm -- r -- i i
- - I I 1 H .VJ-
Hy
--. . -i M
zzr ; r-;.zrarl
j i
"IR.
gnl-Ian -tly the
.... i.. , .r . i '
uu ijr urn- veu soul!, nun iiavu mi sor-row,
filwuno tho craven heads that havo no gor-row,
sun - sumo oi iovo . wau-eth uov-cr
star ry ling Is
us that I
riiough tho vet - 'ransaro matching down to dio.
hen tlic.o vet 'rant nto marching down to dip.
V!"'" . K'so VLt " 'ra"s uro "inrelilng down to die.
Neath tho folds of tho red,., white. nnd blue.
CHORUS.
-1st time p. el time f
3x5zur:;
'-tZ-SV-i: V-rH .N N I .
3T- 1' 1"- -11 i-H J --- -- r-. r-zK TT-l-l 1
tf j - 9
-r-
--
J .hough tho vet'rnns aro marching down to die,
heii tluwo vet'raus aro maiclilngdown to dlo,
When thee vet'rnns aro marching down to die,
.Neath tho folds of tho red. whlte.and blue.
-!
f- g-T- 0---
: 0-r-m 0 0 r- -
v y
I hough the vot'rans nro mnrchiugilown to die,
hen these vet'rnns nro inarching down to dlo.
When these vet'raus nro marching down to die,
'Neath tho folds of tho red. white, and blue.
jk
And
"fis
And
And tho
J ' ' - - ! 0-T0-0 I
mmz&z&gm
' -
iiip
gal-laut - ly tho star-ry (lag Is
on ly era-ven souls that havo no
liamc tho cra-vcn hearts t hut havo no
sun fcliinu of lovo wnn -cth
lly - Ing,
or-row,
sor- row,
nev-cr
V V V
Though tho ct-'raus am innaliing down to
W hen Until et-'raus uro iiiarchinir down in
When these et-'rans nro maiching down to die.
'Neath tho folds of thu red, white, and blue,
(lie.
dip.
PP
i
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'-0-0 -
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0 r-1 ," I n
-- I
Cop)riubt, 18W, by Hluhcock & McCareo lublltb!iu Company ( Malted), New York
: KJ1070-U
Telephone 176 WyiSfePlI w.llHr--fiV
must 11 nmi-vsmiiM ff mXt t VT sniw
rivr lrk.?5r, . - 73rfirirwflr r rTrWHV
nml ..lmk. .Z-SV.7(lAXiJiy,03wC71Cv7A,s!l .11 .v.vH-. u ' T . Tti HI
OFFICE
lOOi 0 Street.
Moving: Household Goods and Pianos a Specialty
j I'll IMM-ll fill- It,
Hiisbiiuil (eiuiiliig weiirilj liiaud -eating
Ihliusell) Well, )iii can buv that cloak
you wanted iil-Ii I roa II .oil koiiui
, tliini! on an iiMiMiiii'tit today
i Wife -I am so glad llere'is the bill.
Clunk Itevlew
I'iiili.
-Why do you lngall
I iNi
.Mining'
i)I N ni:ii
i. !
She-lie Nciiiueetfl with jou in some
ny li uiaii'iiii;e, Isn't Jj.. v
He Vi's; lie iiinirled my llanete. Life.
SIIIV II.'
lack Willicr-iiiinii-Ihe
Iliiuif
I .Inn Wiuthiill-To kill Unit).
I .luck WIllifntpiHiu Vuu Utuu i ';ood
i weapuii I'riiici-luu Tiger
1 00 Finest Engraved
Calling Cards, $2.50
Wesscl I
nntini)-
Co.
1
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i 0fla--
-itX .
a LrlhtiiL .