CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, MAY 30, 1S91
m
TO 0X733,
Lincoln Patrons
Wo beg to Inform ton Hint our Stock o(
Spring aid Summer
SUITINGS
In now te.ily for tour Inspection nml
comprises nil the
LATEST NOVKLTIKS
Krom I lie
Finest French f English
SiAlTUTAOrCRSRO.
Every Girmeat Strictly First-Class 1
Kuckert & McDonald,
THE TAILORS,
317 fi. 15th St. Cotritpontltna Solicited
OMAHA, NEB.
Vt4S tfXrC
DELIGHTFUL
COMFLEXION
EFFECTS
May ho produced by tho use of MUS.
HAM'S Kuuenlo Ktmuiol mid Imr
Oil A.
llOM)
llloom. Tho complexion mill color uru mmlu
nerruoi. niui tuo cms i Ncruimv eouiii hoi iin
los -nl Ncrutlny could tiol do-
tact 0110 itruln of powder or the leant I ml lea
won or iirunciiti coior. i win stitxe, my rop
uutliin Hint on nny fiico I enn itlvu the most
delightful complexion mid color trllli Ku-
Knio Enamel and Koto Illossom, and
at no on could possibly tell tlmt
the color or complexion tvoru nrtltlo
ial. Till U high art In cosmetics. Tlioy
arooaeli more Imrinlcm than nny otlior cot'
niftlo In tho world, because, thov nro each tilt.
oIvIiik In tholr nature, mil thus does not
olojj up the pore. When usltuc those mipurli
oosmollcs you nmy wipe tlio dust or porspl
ration from tlio fueo wltliout mnrrliiK tliulr
dellonto beauty. Tney remulii on all day. or
tinlll wftdieJ oil.
l'rloo or each, I ; tlio two soul nnvwhore for
t?;,.''r. ?'.'?. !' iiowAUivij Diamond
rllAUH.Un, Northwest Uornur N mid U'lh
treot.
Mrn.(Jriilmin, 103 l'ost st., 8nn Francisco,
treats Indict lor nil defects or blemishes ol
fneo or ilKiire. Send slump for her llltlo book
How t lit) lleaultrut."
Lincoln Floral Gonsemtory
Corner G ami 17th Stroeth.
HHcViuaH
SHTTwsKiiava
OutPlowers andTlesigns
For Weddings, FuuernU, Parties
Receptions, Ktc.
General Collection of Plants.
Visitors Alttats Welcome. City Order
by Telephone Promptly Filled,
W. S. SAWYER & CO.
Price List Free. Telephone l
MOW IN
QUARTER?
'T. &j &.; KUy
r ,
Lincoln Trunk Factory
0 sT 1133 st-
Where we will ho Kind to fee nil old
friend nnd'ciuuimcr mnl at manv new
ones as enn jet Into the toe.
C, K. WIR1CK,
SUCCESSOR TO
WIRICK & HOPPER.
BILL NYK STANDS UKADY
HE 19 WILLING TO AGITATE HIS
FRISKY FEET UPON THE ICE.
Ill llrnrt I Tmirhrd by thn I'ntlivtln
letter nl it Man Out of n .toll Tim
l'rlcn of Aristocratic Kkk CooinmiiUd
Upon,
(Cop) rlulit by IMunr V. N10.
Tho joyoiiH nenon for idmiiiig In now
drawing t IIh clow, mnl with It ccaseH
tho bent record for many yearn in theno
partn. My attention has boon called by
friends to tho following challenge, which
I print herewith ami reply to later on;
Tim undcridittitd, belmr 7(1 nirs of kc, hero
by clmllciwt-ti nny pernon of thusainoiiKc, or
tipunrd, totnuipctn ullh him In tkitthm from
GotoftUlmllcit, mid Mill accept it handicap of
twenty roiU for every mile, lie nlno challenge,
any person In I ho world. Irrespective of mro. to
compete with him In dolliicatlnit on Ico by
skntlnulhn capital Icttcrn or tho nlphnlxd, In
formlliK tho liatim of nny person, placo or
Ihlin;, orniiynuutcncoln tho KiikIIdIi liiiwuairo.
V. J, Wkkkm, Iiiik Inland.
1 allow no man to defytnu in thin
way, oven if ho bo 70 or 170 yenm old.
No Lodk Islander nhall coino out and
ihako hia bony linger at a Statcn Ih1iuk1
ritACTIClNO.
cr with impunity n regards Hknting. 1
do not know what a handicap in, neither
do 1 enro. Mr. Veekn can wear Hiich
clothes as ho looks best iu, but when it
comes to skating I taku up tho gauntlet
on behalf of Staten Island, tho hotbed of
athletic sports, where firemen are not
allowed sufllclcnt beer money to make
an ordinary fire nny object at all.
I will accept thu challenge ton limited
extent only. I am getting along in years
myself, but still rend fine print, though
preferring editorials and display nils.
I am an Amcricnn by birth, and remem
ber very well tho tight between Heennn
and Sayers; also Lydia E. Pinkham was
kissed by her as 11 child. 1 can saw a
cord of wood in n given time, and look
forward to a pleatiing immortality be
yond tho grave.
I hereby agree toskato with Mr. Weeks
from 000 to 1,000 miles in an easterly di
rection, from any point ho may select on
Long or Staten Island, with bare
knuckles to a finish. 1 also challenge
him or nny other skater from 70 years of
age upward to skate backward up the
rain water pipo of the Chicago Audi
torium for gato money and the cham
pionship of tho world. I will also agree
to challenge Mr. Weeks or any other
gentleman' of his age to compete- with
mo iu delineating on the ico four pages
of Sanscrit which I will select.
I also challenge tho world to compete
with me iu skating on the ico an orna
mental poem from Drowning, which 1
shall select: also decorating margins of
samo with fancy scroll work, turtle doves
engaged iu trysting at springtide; also
eagle with Oneco-Itoumn beak and
Speuccrian pretzels in his tall feathers.
I will also agree to skato on moro parts
of myself at 0110 and tho samo time than
any other man between the ages of 70
and 75 years respectively.
I will challenge any man of twico my
own weight and age to skate the score of
tho opera of II Trovatoro backward, to
gether with scroll work and ornamental
swan at top, wearing doughnut wings
and beautiful full arm movement panta
lettes. For purso of $3,000 and funeral ex
IKinses I will ngreo to skato across Lake
Victoria Nyauzu as boon as tho ico shall
bo suitable for that purpose. 1 aUo will
accept a handicap of twenty rods for
each mile, or anything else that is not
too indigestible.
Tlio following bona fldo letter, with
tho iiiniHi slightly suppressed, is given
merely to show that good help can al
ways be had in America if one goes at it
in the right way. The right name is not
Earnest Pcruamhuco, but 1 do not wish
to iimj the real name, fearing that somo
one o1m may seek to decoy my now
coachman from me before I can get him
home
J KM! a it v 10,01
Noiiwav Herkimer CO N Y mr Hill No bco
Iu jour htir In the now york weekly world
nud thluMii that ou mile wUb to employ a
hand todokomoof your nrcnts I thnUt I wood
nply beforu cuyonu ch-o had taken tho Job I
wish to know If j on wished to tinployitman
that U UJ 1 cai-H old nml an oldo crlimel hut can
walk with out u cane llelndltnbvld Inouourmo
can drive a Jontel horio If dcalrcd to but dout
knowcuy llilim about tho city of now ork
tho 1 have been thur for it few diiyn I did not
get enymiii.tnled with tho Htreata or numbcm
of lots bin think I eoort drlto If tho lady nuw
ttharotlu.' ttn.nl llko to col wish to have itoikI
bord nud uood logins this menus n Kood lied 10
rest on after it da s work don nrents or driven
do you think I cm get n place to drive for a
lady or do nrents some suy that I tun good
lookln but I dout wlah to nny ony thlntion this
subject pleas If thar 11 chance In form mo ours
with respects KaU.NUst I'F.UN.tMlll'CO.
I' O I should want W dolurs u month Itcalde
bunt and hulii and viuhlu tours truly K. V.
exkuse all bad spellu or rilen
In mo fancy I can see meself trying to
get from the Cortlaudt street ferry to
Forty-second street station on threo
wheels to catch a train, with Earnest on
tho box and a tamarack polo under tho
axletree of tho off comer of our coach,
while 1 hold iu my lap tho dished aud
disheveled nice red wheel which now
looks like a countryman's character after
one session iu tho New York legislature.
Oh res. Earnest, we cut' show von the
people who range their concave abdo
mens up against tlio heated giinn of n
Inutile fort rt'M and wait for an honorable
death. Nycther would thny scale a re
doubt In the teeth of it galling lire, They
are not constructed according to those
specifications. On tho confinry, tlioy
sail up iu a nort of circle, tort of tau
lallze and pick at the advancing foe,
shake their travel utained nighties at the
moving enemy, and, emitting a war cry
as melodious as the ctauipy remark of a
cuckoo clock, they go away from them.
After the iiattln tho Arabian papers
nnuouuco that, llfteeu hundred handsome
Englishmen, with bountiful sloping
shoulders and Venn do Medici figures,
havo bitten tho dust, white one elderly
Arabian has sprained his thumb by fall
ing from his horse aud striking on tlio
sharp prong of a gopher hole.
lint this ltits nothing to do with tlio
lato religious craze among the red breth
ren. Tho Indian is no worse than all other
barbaric- people who scorn tho sacred
and secular press. Politics may bo cor
rupt and leaders venal, lint Intelligence
will win at last. It is where people do
not advertise that the bogus Messiah is
permitted to do up tlio people. It is
where tho Washington hand press and
tho primary school houto yet slumber in
tho womb of the future that people fall
down and worship a warty prophet who
cannot safely refer to tlio placo whore ho
was last employed, The red brother, ns
many of us know, is not educated. Ho
has for generations gone fishing in his
youth, and iu Ills old age died iu igno
rance. That is why religious fanaticism
finds him a ready prey. That is why ho
is enabled to make, an tho French say,
one fox pass after another, nud to fall a
ready victim to tlio wiles of the crafty.
Tho ghost dance it not likely, how
ever, to become popular at tho Patriarchs'
lulls tliis winter, 1 am happy to say, as it
Is danced entirely by tlio nudes, the
squaws not being in it, as Mr. McAllis
ter, tho blooming cad of an otherwise
creditable epoch, would say. Tho squaws
are sometimes present at these religious
dances, but not generally allowed to par
ticipate, llelow I am permitted to givo
somo of the costumes worn at a Pino
Itidge small and early, as given me in a
private letter dated somo weeks ago.
Tush-Tush, the daughter of old John-nio-jump-up,
tho sockless Brule, wore a
mauve drap-de-tayhat lining with breast
ot.' buzzard iu front aud side ornaments
oi empty cartridges, size .11. Sho also
wore ear tabs to same, cut en V and
made of muskrat skin lined with bed
ticking. Sho wore an alpaca vest, with
corsage bouquet of corn fritters draped
with Now Orleans molasses. Her loose
artillery trousers had a broad red stripe
down the side. Sho wore over all this a
leather trimmed horse blanket with eye
holes iu it from St. Paul. Her hair was
braided plainly down each side, and tied
en masse at tlio ends with si news. Where
it parted at the nape of tlio neck there
iweped coquettish' forth a small patcli
of the beautiful skin of Tush-Tush,
bright and shiny as a new cent, and bid
ding those who were brave enough to do
so to plant thereon a largo, resonant
kiss.
Standing Horse, who led the ghost
dance, wore a Unltu States wagon
cover on his arrival, and also throw ono
corner of it over his departure; but when
the dancing began he checked this outer
wrap, and was discovered to bo dressed
lightly in a tiara of dickey bird's feet
aud a coat of shellac. He danced until
utterly worn out and exhausted, when
ho fell to tho gi nud, and a tidy was
thrown over him by nn attendant.
White Wings, who camo merely to
look on, as ho naively said, woro a fur
capo of gopher pelts and calico shirt. No
ornaments to sjieak of.
Jaybird, who fetched Tush-Tush to
the dance, wore a percale shirt, which
would have been tucked into the waist
band of his trousers, if lie had been
blessed with trousers, but the cold and
cruel winter, ah, the nipping, biting
winter, came nud caught the doleless Jay
bird, caught him at a disadvantage,
caught him slightly dishabilly, caught
him shivering on the prairie, caught
him short of ere a trouser; and gooso
pimples chased each other, following
fast and following faster up his limbs of
alabaster. When ho saw Tush-Tush
and passed her, tlwn lie trembling
turned aud asked her.
She allowed that she would como with
him. She said so long as they lived in
the west, what was tho use of trying to
pnt on lugs. East, of course, she said
her escort would be do trop, but in the
west, where pants do not make tho man,
nor want of them the fellow, there
would be no fuss made over this idiosyn
crasy. Sho then got ready and went
u
HArA
4
v?mi
TUB DANCE.
I presume there is a moral to tlio ghost
Aauw and bloody massacre of this sea
son. Possibly several of them. Ono of
thorn is that you cannot make a card
case out of a sow'i ear, and tho Indian
cannot bo worked over into a Fanners'
Alliance. Squaw Jim was a white man
who once basked in tho sunshine of my
friendship We were quito intimate iu
thoo days. Ho was a white, man orig
bully from near Napoleon, Ark. He
guvo his name iu marriage to a Sho
ulioue dobutanto with an Indian name
Hint woiiM fenco In n houo and lot,
Sun apparently-loved Squaw Jim iu her
untutored way, but lie told mo that sho
wits as wild as a hawk, Iu winter time
lie could tell pretty near wM-ro to find
her, but when tho grass got green along
the ninny banks of the mountain
utrciiiiis, and tho "pussy" on tho tall and
graceful willow began to get its back
up, and the smell of the moist earth ns
tlio frost began to heavo out greeted tho
glad nostrils, ho could no longer make
Piish-mo-ta-ha-to-lo-quah, etc., come up
nights.
When tlio pocket gopher began to
build h'.i fresh embankments along the
ldes of tlie sandy hill, and thobittetn
wailed in the bulfalo wallows; when tlio
kllldee chirped in the low "draws," where
the grease wood gntvnud tho track of
the sage hen wound along the gray mar
gin of the alkali pond, then Pnsh-mo-ta-ha-todo-qtiah,
etc.. with a glad cty
lit out ll!tu a frightened comet, aud for
a moment the air aloiu her trail seemed
to be full of moccasins
Uqimw Jim said that one at such a time
could easily play tiddlodotvlnks on the
coat till of his savage bride. Ho would
hate been very lonely during the sum
mer time if lie had not been hlc.-scd witli
a white wife at Omaha, with whom he
dawdli'd away the glad stiuiuter tide.
The Indian can never, alas! bo taught
the religion of the white man any more
than he can be brought to look kindly
upon the pickled olive its an article of
food. He can no moro cope with the
doctrine of tho Trinity than ho can raise
side whiskers or Lima beans. Personal
godliness and the use of the crash towel
are tepulslve to tlio ''eelings of tho led
In other. Tho idea of a God who favors
manufacture and industrial pursuits
but hem him, and our great North Amer
ican scheme of cli iritahlo endeavor,
which consists mostly iu telling other
(leople how they can do a great deal of
good, confuses him
I am pained, of course, to note the
hostile feeling now existing between my
own race and tho red brother, for tin
dnubtcdly lie was hero (irst. So also
were tho centipede, and the f-ulesnnko,
and tlio north and south pole cats, but
they, as civilization approaches, will
havo to letire, even ns the red brother
must, before tho all powerful inlluences
of Rum, Red Tap. and Rascality.
Adieu, red brother! Von are going to
join tho Mastodon and the Sothyosauras.
Some day, in tho great yonder of ap
proaching years, you will have to lie
over a littlo further iu your geological
bed, and givo place to tho last specimen
of the bald and perfected Caucasian,
who with a wild whoop yields up his
uneasy life, and with ids labor saving
machinery and his uileratus bread he
will lie by your side, Mr, Lo. So step
forward a' little farther, red brother,
and give the pale face a chance along
with you to hold on by tho straps as the
great car ot progress moves onward, or
else pitch along in your rocky lied and
give room to the vntleinnn who today
Is acting asyouragent aud undertaker.
Ajl'Y
A TIkIiI squetne.
"You heard nlxmt the grizzly bear
that tackled a Chicago girl?"
"No. What happened':"
"Tlio girl hugged tho bear t. death."
Life.
A !tllnlil ttVallur (iioki'.
"Mo barometer less than $10!" re
echoBd tlio old lady.
"None wo can recommend.'
"flnrMltinss irriiiditna!" nlin o-iiinnlntixl
resignedly, "I'm so much bothered ovet
that thing 1 sometimes almost wish John
hadn't got cured of his rheumatism.
Then we always knew what tho weather
was going to be." Philadelphia Times.
Too KllVctlte.
Bride I'm so afraid people will find
out that we're just married that I've
made Will promise to treat 1110 in public-
just as if ho had no thought for any
one but himself.
Matron I adopted that plan when"!
was mariied, aud my husband never got
over it. New York Weekly.
Strong Indication.
Visitor (at public library) If you have
the bound volumes of Tlio Congressional
Record for the last ten years I should
liki
Attendant (ringing telephone violent
ly) Give me tho police station, quick!
There's an escaped maniac here! Chica
go Tribune.
Tho Lady's Natural .Mlntuko.
Kind Hearted Lady (stopping seedy
pilgrim on tlio street) My poor man, is
there anything I can do for you?
Seedy Pilgrim You mistake me, mad
am. I am not a mendicant. I am try
ing to lie an amateur photographer on
f0 a month. Chicago Tribune.
Nrcemarj.
Mrs. Motherleigli Dora, my love, was
It necessary to spend fifteen minutes in
bidding Harry good night?
Dora (furtively rearranging a rumpled
collar) Yes, mother, it was a case of
mussed. Pittsburg Bulletin.
And Then There Wat .Music.
Fond Mother Joint, do you know Ger
tie has arranged a little piece for tho
piano?
Fend Father Good! Peace for the
piuu) means ieaco for all of us. Detroit
r"r.-o l'ress.
No Fooling!
The Goods Must Go!
The Receiver Has Said So,
and his word is law. Came and price the goods, and see if
tin's is not the case. It's an enormous stock and you can buy
almost anything for the house or your own personal wear
that you want at a sacrifice. ' .
Furniture, Hardware, '
Dry Goods
Groceries, Boots and Shoes
Stoves, Tinware
Fancy Goods, Novelties
and in fact too many tilings to mention. You are always
wanting something why not get that something of us at half
what you pay elsewhere for the same.
Prices Talk Come and See!
Maxwell. Sharpe & Ross Co.
R. II MAXWELL Receiver.
The Peerless Gas Stove
The Latest thing in Gas Stoves.
ijk
Effi" Can make our Gasoline
HOOKER
Telephone 345.
jK"yBk,
BPV:is3S537
v. ; ssisW.
VUHBSSSSSSSr
vH.sorVsW3isisA
'-BSflBSSWHHsaBSSSSp
jSsHnniiWsiflii
UNDFR NEW MANAGEMENT.
THE- BOND.
J. G. BURPEE, Proprietor.
This btf.-uitlful new house under Its present management will be conducted In
thorough fust class style on the American plan, rates $J.oo. It hat
ALL MODERN CONVENIENCES
Including passenger elevators and hath room on every floor. Tho sleeping
npirtmentt are lame and elegantly furnUhed and may be had either single or en
suite. We have reserved a limited number of rooms for city patrons and are pre
pared to give excellent table hoard with or without rooms at reasonable ratal.
call and see tit.
TH8
Telephone 482.
A 3 Hob Stove
With large Oven,
FOR $16.00
Stoves over into Gas Stoves.
& ORR,
240 South nth St.
Dr. H. S. Aley, Specialist
In FEMALE, NERYOUS and KIDNEY DISEASES.
Sp- lul attention paid to the tieatment of these diseases
In mriiiiNof eli'clrlclt.t.
All unn-nmllKimnt tumor of tlio ttoiub removed without
Ilm iik' of the Knife.
All operations for Injuries from childbirth skillfully per
formed. Dlitpliifi'iiii-nt of tlio ttomli cured In moat discs without
tho iit-onf liihtriiuiciilK.
i:pllci, hi. Vitus' Dance, dotation. Neuralgia, Hysteria,
dlllerenl forms of piirnlyxlH, Deformities, nud nl! otlior
forniKof NeivousTioitblu hiicces foils' t routed.
CoiiKuliutlon nt oillco or by mull f l.Oo,
Newman llloek, O St., bet. 10th nml Utb, Lincoln, Neb,
Ilmiis-lMolS.'JloS.r to 8. CUT THIS OUT
BOND
Cor. 12th and Q.
'IS
1 tf
u
Y
4
T
1
. '!
";w
rmtb&m
yMi
yiisSgSTMn-r-