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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (May 9, 1891)
-rr. -ir CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, MAY 9, 1891 AN INCIDENT. TO 0"CT2""4 Lincoln Patrons .Vc hcg to Inform ,ou thnt our Slock of Spring ad Summer SUITINGS I. now ready for your Inspection nml iComprUR nil the LATEST NOVELTIES From the Finest French I English ETtrj Oinnut Strictly First-Class I Guckert & McDonald, THE TAILORS, 37 S. 15th St. Comipondtncg Solicited OMAHA, NEB. Wo kaI wltliln n railway rar- A mnn named Jones nml I While I fund itlniiees ncnt nfnr Unto nilnimcl titult. Bnby trdoptlotlfiriip'i Tho trip wiw swiftly whlled. Her ttlniices niln Jed with our chaff, Ami unco I tlimiKlit "ho smiled. "Hy Jovcl" wild 1 1" Mr. Jones, Sly now compiest to air. In iiifint cnthtnliiMli' lnnem "Vim maid I wondrous fair, Ami over nlnon I mil mo lirro HIio'm wafted dances pert. Hlio's pretty, nml It would appear Hlio In Inclined to lllrt." Bald Mr. Jones, "Nny, think yon nor (I know not well tho )outh.) "Well, If )on say w wo will ti Ami ascertain tho truth." Homer to her nlilo wii spoil, My mind with sweet words rife, Ami Jimcs-llio lllnln-blandly said. "Ahl Mr. Ilrown. mywlfol" America. r . Yw&M'Hm DELIGHTFUL COMFLEXION EFFECTS IUj be produced by tho lite of MRH. OrtA IIAM'H Kugenlo Knatnel nml her Itnso Bloom. The eomploxlun nml color nro mado Krfeot, mul tlio closest scrutiny couM not do it one iiratM of powiloror tbe lonst Indlcn- Won of artificial color. I will stnko my rep station Hint on nny fneo 1 can slvo tho most -ellihtful complexion nml color with Ku- Knle Knmnel nml Kno Hlotsom, mul at no on could isMslbly tll thnt the color or comploxlon won, nrtlno Ul, This I blah uri In cosmetic. They aw each more harmless than any other cos metic In tho world, becnuso they nro onoh dls. aolvlmt In tliolr nature, unit thin does not elog tip tho pores, when iuUik tlicno iiiporb oosmetlcs you may wipe tho dust or pcrspU A l'lnywrller's l.nrh. A mnn with his trousers In lilia lioot ton itml n whip In hl hnml called nt tho box nfllco of mm of tho Detroit thentors tho other iluy, nml, "ftcr fiiinlilliiK t&vnwl his pockets for iiwhlle, hnniKht out ntxiut n iloxeii sheets of foolscap pinned touother nml mild i "Hero's a piny my daughter ha writ tin' composed nil by herself. Wlint nro you paying this sprlngr" "Tho prleo Is wny down," replied tho courteous attendant. "Too ninny In tho mnrket, I supposor" 'That's It." "Wnll, this Is n stepper of a plny nnd no mistake. Four murders in It, nnd no end of lovo nml hanging around." "I see, but I don't think wn roulil two it." "llousu gets nllre, nnd tho herolno puts It out wllhclder," continued tho mnn. "Work In elder nnd it llro and you are Hiiro to hit everybody. I suggested tho elder myself." "Yes, but as I told you, tho prleo In wny, wny down." "I expect ho. How mueh'U yo glvof" "I am AHhnincd to mnko you an ofTer." "I'oolil Don't Ihi iifenred of liurtlu' my feolltiHl Je.st ho right ahead and Hay what yo'll give." , , "Well, sir, plays nro such n drug In tho mnrket that 1 couldn't oiler you over over twenty-live cents renlly couldn't do It." "Twenty-fiver" "Only twenty-five." "Gimme tho money she's yoursl" wild tho mnn, an ho handed It In; nnd after swallowing the lump In his throat nnd turning about forty different colore, tho olllclnl passed out ipinrter nnd too lu tho plny and sadly dropied It lu tho want basket, Detroit Frco Press. Ha llldn't Hmlln. A mnn with n Michel nnd umbrella struck n bniinnn nool on Jefferson avenue, nonr Wnyne, ycstenlny, nnd ns ho went up and enmo down nnd tried to cover the wholo town his Michel hit n passing dray horse nnd his umbrella thrashed tho legs of n telegraph hoy. A second mnn, who was closo behind him, extended n helping hnnd, nnd m tho victim scrambled up he looked nt No. 3 nnd remarked: "Isn't it funnyf" "Not very." "You don't laugh." "You don't oven smile." "No." "It Isn't becauso you enn't, in It?" "Oh. no. Tho reason Is thnt I struck the mnto to thnt skin about two blocks further down, and I don't know yet whether I'm afoot or on horsebnckl" Detroit Free Press. Tim Movlns; Tlm Hiitltnquy. To move, nr lint lit move; thnt Is tho question! Whether 'tis better another car to sulfur Tho stlinty meanness of ourRrnspliiK landlord, Or to tnkn nrms sunlnst u en of troubles Ami by moving end thoniT To pncki tinnoro Once more, nnd hy our moving sny wo end Tho sewer pi nnd Ihinisntiil vllonnnoynncos This plnro Is heir to 'tis n consiimmntlon Devoutly In In, wished. To pnek, to movoi To move, to n worse tdiico itcrclianco: ny, thorn's tlio ruh; For In Unit move wlint woes limy come When wo hnvo loft this dear old tint, Must glvo us pniise; there Is tho fenr That makes cnlamlty of so long lcaso; For who would bear tho sights nnd sounds and smells, Tho dirty balls, tho Janitor's contumely, Tho w lid tin pan piano Just next door, Tlio iiclghlxirs' children shrieking night and day, Tho tromhono player In tho room above, Ami all tho toniiier trying nuisances, When ho might pack his good mid skip With n strong draymnn. Who would over llvo In this rundown, dllnpldntud lint, Hut thnt tho dread of something oven worso, Tho undiscovered woes we're sure to find After a lease Is signed, puxlon us still And makes us rather keep tho Hat wo have Thau Ity to landlords that wo know not of? Thus cxierlonco docs make cowards of lis all, And thus tho mad, rash vows of oilier times Am slnklliMl o'er when moving day arrives, And then tho ticrfect homo wo swore we'd rent Wo unite forget nnd III tho samo old flat ncnaln another, ear. . Warned In Time. A big furniture van had Just backed up to tho curb on Cass nvenueanil licguu load ing lu furniture when n boy nbout nix years old came along on n tricycle nnd itopHd to wiyi "I want to tell you right now that I'm going up hero to Dralnerd Htrect ami then turn around ami comedown with n rush. If yon don't get that wagon out of the way nnd some of you get hurt it won't be my fault. Tootl tootl tootl Detroit Freo Press. A Cloiiennss. Elderly Lady (who linn Hcnt for hor phy sician In great haste) I feel very queerly, doctor. Can't you do something for mof Sympathetic Physician What Is It, mnd dnmr Where do you feel stranger Elderly Iady (fnlntly)-I don't know, doctor. There (teems to bo n goneness somewhere. I can't find a stnglo pain. Pharmaceutical Era. It Made Her Faint. "lllng for tho Janitor. Tho lady linn fainted," wild tho Inndlord to tho boy. "I ought not to hnvo told her without first preparing her for It, I suppose." "What'a tho troublef" "I told her I had no objection to chil dren." New York Sun. Yum Ymn. Teacher Tommy Sllinson, hnvo you nny good excuse for being later ' Tommy (bonmlng) Yes, ma'am. Teacher What is Itf Tommy Wattles. Hnrper's Uawir. One Was Nothing. He May I kiss you Just once? Bho-No. Ho (uiwbnslicd)-How many tlmenr ration from tho race without marring their delicate beauty. They remain on all day, or nntll wahcd otr. Prleoofeach.il: tlio two cent anywhere for M. For sale hy HOWAltli'iH DIAMOND PHAHMAUY, Northwest Corner N and mil Mrs. Graham, 11 1'ost St., h'nii Francisco, treats Indies for nil defects or blemishes oi face or flit lire. cud lamp for her little book 'How tobellenutlful." Lipln Floral Conservatory 1 Comer G and 17th Street. -I Br u r lLlr iX-f-W!-! llViriV--l-Piif. Bht- Vl --HH-B----B&?' BIB-I x B Vl ij--r-l--z EL -LJI I - V 2ial tKbE rVHJ hPH A Fable. A wolf, seeing n lamb drinking nt a brook, stopped for n few minutes' conver sation. "What big eyes you have got," bleated tho Innocent, "My dear," said the wolf, In a tono of reproof, "you ought never to allow your rcmnrks to assume a character of personality." "Hut," per sisted the lamb, "what great teeth you hnvo got." "How often," pursued the wolf, not without a touch of reproach, "did your lamented mother enjoin upon you to refrain from comment that might cause pain?" Ho afterward explained that ho then feared this Iamb bml n bail Heart, but ho found It really ns tender as nny ho had over tasted. Though the lnngiuigu of tho predncooiis class lose its coarseness In tho general re finement of inaiiiierH, the fate of its natural prey is not noticeably changed. Now York Evening Sun. Knew Her I'npa. This morning little U , five yenrs old, heard for tho 11 nit time tho tragic poem of Ueth-Gelert. wherein the dog, left to gunrd his master's child, saves its life by killing the wolf which attacks It. Poor Gelcrt, coVered with blood from his fierce battle. Is Blabbed by his master on his re turn, for he fancies the blood is thnt of his child, and llmls, when all too lnte, tho dead body of the wolf under tho child's bed. The little boy listened to the story with nbsorhlng Interest, but his checks flushed, bis eyes filled and his lips quiv ered at the sad ending. To divert bis at tention I tried to show tho master did not mean to l cruel, nnd said, "If your papa should come in nnd think his dog had killed you, wouldn't ho kill the dog?" "Ohl no," came tho quick reply, "my papa's afraid to touch a gun." New York Tribune. Orlf In of "Up Hall niter." Tho following derivation of tho nliing phrase "Howcd up Salt river," to express tho condition of n defeated candidate for ofllce, is thus explained by Dnynrd Taylor: "Formerly there were extensive wilt works on Salt river, Ohio, u short distance from its mouth. The laborers employed In them were 11 set of athletic, belligerent fellows who soon became known far and wido for their achievements In the pugilistic line. Hence it beenmo common for tlio lioatmeti on tho Ohio, when one of their number be came refractory, to Hay to him, 'We'll row you up Salt river,' when, of course, tho burly salt men would have tho handling of him. Dy a natural figure of speech, tho expression wits applied to political candi dates Unit, I believe, lu tho presidential campaign of 1840." A better explanation of tho nliraso than that given by Mr. Tay lor nbovo seems to bo that In tho early dnys tho mouth of Snlt river was n favorlto stronghold of the river pirates, who preyed on tho commerce of tho Ohio, and rowed their plunder up Suit river. A friend suggests a third probable deri vation of tho phrase. He nays that he hits hennl It applied to defeated candidates as far back as 1833, and that It originated in 1832, when Henry Clay, as candidate for the presidency, hud an engagement to speak lit Louisville, Ky. He had employed a boatman to row him up tlio Ohio. Now this boatman was a Jackson Democrat; ho pretended to have lost his way, and instead of rowing up tho Ohio turned Into Snlt river. This caused Clay much delay, for ho did not reach Louisville until the day after election. St. lxmis Republic. Cut Flowers and "Designs For Weddings, Funerals, Pnrtlei., Receptions, Etc. General Collection of Plants. Visitor Always Welcome. City Orders by Telephone Promptly Filled. W. S.SAWYER & CO. ''Price LUt Free. Telephone 34 MOW IN NEW QUARTERS ! Lincoln Trunk Factory 0 ST 1133 ST' Where wc will be glad to see all old friends and customer and a many new ones a can get Into the store. C. K. WIR1CK, SUCCESSOR TO WIRICK & HOPPER. Why She Wanted to (In, Mr. Mellows Why nro you so very anx ious for us to get off to tho mountains so early? Mrs. Hollows (of Chicago) Hectiuo the doctor says you will be another man en tirely when you get there. New York Her ald. A l.lndy Old Chnp. Some men were talking ulioiittho weather in u Michigan avenue grocery the other day when one of them said: "It is the earliest spring I hnvo seen in Michigan since tho year 1710." "Good laudsl hut what do you know about the year 1710?" exclaimed 0110 of tho listeners. "I know all about It. I was eighteen years old that spring, and inndo mnplo sugar right where tho city hall now stauds." "You can't mean 1710." "Can't I? lu looking over my papers yesterday I canto across this old diary and nut It lu my pocket. Here it Is. See this entry! 'April IS, 1710, weather warm enough for June: got a lift put on the heel of my left boot; caught two coons last night.' How does thnt strike you?" "Why, man. 110 you Know this is the year 1801?" "I do." "And If you wore eighteen yenrs old in 1710, you would now be IW years old?" "Certainly that's my exact io. I'm none of your spring chickens, I want you to understand." And he gathered up his codfish nnd tea and walked out with the dignity of a major, while the others looked at each other and almost forgot to breathe. De troit Free Press. After a Match. Tho average person notices the arrange ment of a room surprisingly little. Its di mensions and tho relative positions of the furniture may seem to be familiar to him, but in reality they seldom are. Tho way to become convinced of this Is to hunt for Homethlng, u match for instance, in tho dark. You have the mantel, nml mnko 11 grab where you imagine tho match safe stands. Down goes a piece of bric-n-brao to tho floor. More care Is used. You And tho end of the mantel, and run your hand along tho marbloHlau. Off goes a verso or two. You Htrlko tho clock; you've got It. No, It's on tho other side. Nottherel Ah, then it's 011 the table. After running ngnlnst thu stovo nnd tripping over tho chair, you llud the sofa. Keep cool and take your bearings. Tlio table Is north of tho sofa, and thuHtifa runs cast and west; north, therefore, is lu front of you. Now you have It. Thnt article that dropped to the floor sounded llko tho match safe. Hut It's tho ink well, and your lingers are dyed with a color warrant ed not to fade. A bright Idc'i the stove! You burn your lingers and warp your patience, hut you secure a light. And tho match safe? It Is on the mantelpiece lu front or tno clock tho only place you didn't search. Allumv Aruus. A Spring Idyl. There has been n stirring among tho cold roots of the Symplocarpus for some time now in the marshes, and its red spotted snathe is nil ready thrust up, fresh and glistering, amid tho oozy sponge nnd gray debris of the marsh side, where as yet green is barely tho dominant color, while ostensibly, as if to celebrate these quiet parturitions (or apparitions) around him, but lu good sooth for private uintrlnionlal reasons of his own, the Innocent little hyln frog Inflates his throat and Alls the dim vault of Night and tho blue urn of Day with the shrill, clear music of his two noted flute: sold Dav and Night seeming In 110 wise displeased by this Incessant love song, although monotonous in its nature as that Chinese Addle In Harrison avenue. Bos ton Trausctlpt. FLORENCE'S TERRAPIN STORY. An Ksperlniirrd MietllmrU That I'.nslly Itrniunlreil Major tfnndy. "Day before yesterday," says Mr. Will iam .1 Florence, tlio comedian, "I met my friend Handy, of the World's fair. Never saw htm looking so well before In all my life; have known him, too, for going on thirty yenrs. I was mighty glnd to seo him, and wo had n nlco long visit. Showed mon letter ho had Just got from his littlo girl, who Is on n visit somowhore In Texas. 'Dear papn,' she wrote, 'you would llko tho avoir falro down hero In Texas very much, but the ciilsluo wouldn't suit you.' Well, wc hnd n great laugh over that letter. Tho result of our meeting was thnt 1 ngrced to dine with Untidy at tho Illchclleti last night. He said that landlord Hemls wanted I should try his stewed terrapin. " 'Hut bless you, my dear Moses,' says I, 'there's no such thing as genuine terrapin In tho west. You may get tlio canned arti cle, but surely not the live?' " 'Oh, yes,' iiiswered Untidy. 'Demls assures mo that It's tho genuine thing, ami I guess It is, for I've seen it.' " 'Alive?' says I. "'Alive, says he. "Well, I went nway. What n superb hostelry tho Itlchnlleu tsl It's unique In its wny Upon my word, I never saw Its cquall Such furnishings, such woods, such upholstery, such china, such glass, such service, such wines! I declare there's nothing like It elsewhere In nil tho world. Demls, too, is so cordial, so hospitable nnd so intelligent. Ho seemed ho glnd to act ns my host, and ho wasn't tho least backward about telling mo where everything came from and how much it cost. Tlieso are so crets which some landlords nro menu enough not to disclose. Hemls Is not that kind Ho Is free with his Information, and I was glad to get It. "When the terrapin camo on, attention was called to tho elegant solid sliver chaf ing dish In which it was served. This dish was made In Paris out of South American sliver. It cost, as I was told, ftiOO. Thu ornamentation, relievos and embossings were ornate lieyond description, and on tho cover appeared tno uemis crest, gar nished with diamonds nnd emeralds. Tho contents of this incomparable dish were steaming hot. I was served upon a hand painted Dresden plato which, as I was told, was worth its weight In gold. " 'Do you like my terrapin?' asked Uemis. "Now, honestly, I was disappointed in tho viand. I hnd eaten terrapin in Haiti more, Washington nnd Philadelphia ter rapin In every stylo nnd I flattorcd myself that If in all the world there was a terra pin connoisseur he was William J. Flor ence nnd none other. Uoinls' terrapin hnd thnt distinct flavor which betokens a long season of preservation. I should hnvo said it wns'cnnned terrapin, It was sapid, savo ry nnd dolectnblo, yet not quite the thing. Hut. of course. I told Hemls thnt It was splendid; nnd Indeed tho Ane old Madeira (twenty-Ave dollars a bottlol) mndo up for every dellclency. " 'I am glnd to hear you say It,' said He mls; 'our friend Handy hero tins beon In sinuating thnt I don't keep the genuine nrtlcle; whenever I serve It he Intimates thnt it Is the canned terrapin.' " 'Ah, but tula Is strcly the genuine,' quoth 1. "Indeed it Is,' said Hemls, 'and I can prove it too. Here, waiter garcon go down Into the deepest moat under the eel lar wall, and bring mo up one of those ter rapin. Donnnyinoy von terrapin, toot sweet, seo voo play.' "Tlio waiter a Freuuhninn, of bourse bustled off. Handy tried to apologize. '1 don't mean to say that you haven't got ter rapin,' said he. 'for you've exhibited 'em allvo every time you had terrapin in tho bill. What I do say is that your cooked terrapin tastes llko the canned goods.' "Hemls pooh poohed thu Idea, and pres ently back enmo the waiter carrying a big tray, and 011 tho tray sprawled n sure enough terrapin. You can't fool mo on the genuine article. Tho terrapin tins cer tain distinct markings, colorings, shad ings, this Hemls terrapin was a splendid specimen. " 'Set it down in tno miiiuie or tno tame. snld Hemls, and tho waiter did so. " 'I've got the cellar full of 'em niore'n a million, I guess,' said Hemls. 'Don't feed 'cm anything but minced liver and Uetbesda water. All fat as butter and lively as crickets. When the ulghts are still you can hear 'em whistling like night iugules.' "I was satisfied that 1 had done Uemis a serious Injustice Another taste of the stew convinced me that it was not the canned, but the genuine article. So I up piled myself with restored confidence to the viand. All at once Handy nudged me, whispering hoarsely 'Hilly, did you notice anything?' "I looked up nt mm. 110 was wmte as a ghost, and he trembled. 'Sakes allvo! what nils you, Moses?' I asked. "'Do you notlco anything queer any thing strange or weird?' ho asked. " 'No; of course not. Why?' " 'Then I must have tnken too much of the Mudi'lrn,' said he, und ho called for a bottlo of npollluaris. "Hut presently ho said, 'There It goes again look nt It that terraplu can't, you see It's bowing nt mul' "Vastly surprised, I looked up and fixed my eyes on the terrapin. Tho creature had crawled to the edge of tho tray and reached its front claws over thu side thereof; Its long neck was extended to Its utmost ca pacity, Its iM-adllko eyes glistened with In telligence, nnd surtly enough It was bow ing lu black head solemnly Once, twice, thricu it made obeisance muasiiredly, gravely, reverently " 'Marvelous!' I cried. 'It knows you. Handy, tho creature really knows your "Hemls wns greatly confused. 'Take it nway send it back to U.iltimorel' he yelled. Hut llnudy mid 1 Interposed. ! Handy understood It nil now. It was a 1 trick terrapin, the only otic Hemis hud I lie confessed yes, Hemls owned up at length. The terrapin he served was canned terrapin, whenever any question aroso ns I to the genuineness of the dish Hemls I would send down Into the cellar for 'ono of tho.su terrapin.' and the waiter would bring back this hiiiiiu lonely, unique terrapin. It ; was a shrewd game, but It was discovered at last, for, however timid It was nt first, tho terratiln iH'came Inured by degrees to exhibition, and, having at last got familiar with llauily's face, it Anally made so bold as to bow to Handy, not flippantly, but gravely and reverently as I have said. "The terraplu Is a sagacious reptile," continued Mr. Florence. "Hcforo we fin ished dinner that evening this intelligent creature whistled an air from 'la Grande Duchesso;' it had hennl Hilly Lyon slug it at a terrapin dinner that Hemls gave last week. You may not believe this. Next time you cat at the Hlchelleii ask Hemls to show you the terrapin, and bo will. Al though, unless Handy Is there too, the critter may not bow nnd whistle as he would do otherwise." Eugene Field In Chicago News. Maxwell, Sharpe & Ross Co. They arc making Special Prices om the- following Lines of Goods: v sr Cook Stoves Ranges 4 and 6 hole Step 'Ladders Wooden Ware Garden Rakes and Hoes Shovels and Spades Ice Cream Freezers Water Coolers GASOLINE STOVES all Sizes Locks, Hinges and Nails Carpenter's Tools Mason's and Plasterer's Tools Breech Loading Shot Guns Rifles Revolvers and Loading Sets Sporting Goods, Powder, Etc. Fairbanks Scales, from 1 oz. to 1000 lbs. Tinware, a $5,000 Stock Also Everything in Our Immense Stock of HARDWARE,. Maxwell Sharpe & Ross Co. no YOU WANT to reach steady 11 and liberal purchasers in this part of the Country? WE HAVE advertising space for onlo rt roQennqhlfl nnt "n - THE AWtHTISEH. a2l THIA SPACES: FOR SACN Si! SB: -3!f li MM 111 I 'Ml """tniiliiuliinii IP! iHS'il sale at reasonable, not "cheap," rates. jfj: r-sfE fc ?-' fi3?fif 2- -: r - . - J v ( I CnnuiitUUX N Aiuwmrm!iu SPECIAL FACILITIES FOR Delivering Notes, Letters, Invitations PARCELS, ETO. WE CAX WAKE TOU UP Atnt any hour to make tlio early trains get your mall from postotllce, etc. Open Day and Night I Telephone 190. Oflice, S. V. cor. totli nnd O. ; lt E Y jfca?S'VwS 4cP! ?IV Dr. H. S. Aley, Specialist In FEMALE, NERYOUS and KIDNEY DISEASES. Sieelal attention pnld to tho treatment of theso illbeni.es by menus ol electricity. . , , . ... , All noiMiiiillBiiant tumors of tho womb removed without the use of tho Knife. ,,,,,,.. ,,,,, ,, All operations lor Injuries fiom childbirth hklllfiilly per- "iiNpl'ii in-ill of tho womb cured lu most enses without tho into or Instruments. , , ,, ,..,.. I'.ulleiiHV, St. Vitus' Dance, Achillea, NeiiraUchi, Hysteria, dltlereut foinis of pnrnlysln, lieloriultles, nud nil other forms- of Nervous Trouble succcmhIuII.v treated. Consultation at olllen or by mall (l.ui. Newman llloek, O Mt., bet. loth nnd lltli, Lincoln, Neb, Hours-0 to 12, S to fi, 7 to 8. CUT THIS OUT UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. THE B OND. J. G. BURPEE, Proprietor. This beautiful new house under Its present management will be conducted In thorough I Br'tclBM style on the American plan, rate $2.00. It ha. ALL MODERN CONVENIENCES Including nassctmer elevators and bath room on every floor. Tho ileeplng snarl menu are large and elegantly furnished and may be had either .Ingle or en .Site We have reserved a llmltec number of room, for city patron, ami are prt pared to give excellent table board with or without room, at rea.onable rite. Call and ee u. Telephone 48a. Cor. wth and Q. j)Wfri W