IT6' '"'"'
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY APRIL 4, 1891.
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eAvStkh suday stiitMON
kJOME,
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THE PLACE
LORD LAY."
WHERE
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fait or the Klnquant UlMxtnrsa ltlt
rrl on Niimlajr, Starch t, by Mia
RV. T. I Will TafcMS Title iif tha
srmnn, "Tha Upllt Mausoleum."
Nkw Voiik, March W, Dr. TalmaKe
reached mi Kastur wf mnu to his two audi.
vncvA today. Ilotli nt tliu inornliiK H?rvle
la Hnxtkljrn ami at tlio Christian Herald
wrvlcw In Now York In the immltiit ihn
Academies of Miuio worn hrl'tht with a
profusion of Mowers, Kastor lilies hclng
conspicuous. A election or inuslo appro
prlatotothofeitlval was henutlfully ren
dered nt each service. Tlio text of the
preacher's discounts was Matthew" xxvlll, A,
"Come, see the place whore tho linl lay."
VIkIiIiik any Krcnt city, wo aro not satis
fled until wo hnvn also looked nt It4 ceme
tery, Wo examine all tho stylos of ceno
taph, innuiolmim, ftArooplmKHi. crypt nml
sculpture. Hero lit1 burled n statesman,
jrundcr nn orator, hero it poot, out thero An
Inventor. In somo other place n nront phi
lanthropist. Hut with how much im-atcr
Interest and with mora depth of emotion
.we look upon our family plot in tlio eome
Jttty, In tho ono omo it Is a mutter of pub
lic Interest, In tho other It It a ntnttor of
private nml heartfelt Affection. Hut
arounil the rnvo at which wu hull tills
mornlmr there aro withered nil kluiliiof
tiiHmlou interest. At this sopulcher, I
have to tell you In this sopulehur there
waa burled a klnic. a conqueror, nn uiuan
elpator, a friend, a brother, a Christ. Mon
arch of the universe, hut bono ot our hone,
and flfli of our llosh, nml nor row of our
sorrow, nml heart of our heart. "Como,
see the place where thu Lord Iny."
TDK MANOIt or J08KPII.
It ha for atirrouuillngs tho manor In
the suburbs of Jertnuilein, a manor owned
by a wealthy gentleman by tho name of
Joseph. He was one of tho court ot seven
ty who had condemned Christ, but I think
he had voted In tho negative, or, being a
Ink! man, had been absent at tho time of
the catting of the vote. He had laid out
.Mm partem at great expense. It waa a hot
llatata,' ami I suppose there were brawl
uikranched trees and winding path under-
k. 1. It- I . t A !.. - 1
I vaeffl, wuue nm mo inim riipiou
ever the rook into a Hihpool, nud yonder
the vlnea and the flowers clambered over
the wall, and all around thero wora the
brantlea of kiosk and nrborloulturc. After
the fatigues of the Jerusalem courtroom,
how refreshing to come out In these
suburb botanical and pogiologlcnll
u.l walk, a little further on In tho parterre
and 1 edmo across a cluster of rocks, ami I
ee on them the marks of a sculptor's
chisel. I come still closer and I II ml that
there Is a subterranean recess, nnd I walk
town the marble stairs nnd come to a port
'1m aver the doorway an architecture of
trait and flowers okteeled by the tinnd of
the sculptor. I go Into the portico, and on
either aide then an rooms, two or four or
alKroqms of rook; la the walls niches,
aaek 'niche large enough to hold a dead
body, One of these rooms of rock Is espe-
latany Wealthy with sculpture. It was a
beautiful and charming spot. Why all
thlar. The fact .. tbat Joseph, the own
er of the parterre,' of that wealthy manor,
...bad recognised ,tbe fact that ha could not
always walk'taose'gantens, and besought
this as hi own last resting place. What a
beautiful plot Jn which to wait for the
. rssnrrsetloul - ?
JHAKK MXLL THI MAUBOLKUM,
Mark well the mausoleum In tho rook.
It In to Im the most celebrated tomb In all
the uges: catacombs of Egypt, tomb of
Mapncon, Mahal Taj of Iiidiu, nothing
ompared with It Christ had Just been
murdered, and his body must bo thrown
out- totbe dogs and the ravetu, as waa
customary with oruolfled bodies, nolens
(here, N" prQ.mpt( and effective hludrauoe.
Joaeph, the owner of the mausoleum, begs
for the body of Christ, and he takes and
washes the mor and mutilated frame from
the blood, and the dust, and shrouds It and
perfumes li
I tbtiK ewlialmwent waa omitted. When
la 'olden 'times they wished to embalm a
dead body, tho priest with some pretension
f medical skill would snow the point be
' "twee ta rll where the Incision waa to
bawid. Then tbe operator would come
aad make the Incision, aud then run for
t $ kla Hfe eta he would be slain for violating
,; I Mm dead hotly,' 1 Then the other arleaU
' would come.wllbsaH of utter, and cassia,
aad wlno of palm tree, ami completo the
embalmment. But I think In this rase em
balmment was omitted lest there lie more
axcltemeut ami another Hot. Tho funeral
dvnuces. Present, Joseph, the owner ot tbe
auiiMoleum; Nloodemus, who broiiKht tbe
lowers, and the two Mary Heavy bur
den nu tbe shoulders of two men as they
carry the botly of Christ down tho marble
stairs nud Into he portico, and lift tho dead
weight to the level of the niche In the
rock, nud push the body ot Christ Into the
only pleasant resting place It over had.
Theae meu coming forth close tho door of
i rock nicaltiHt the reeess. The government,
' J afraid that the dlselBlsa waulil Hti.nl tlia
f body 'of Christ and play resurrection, put
UBoaineaoor uieaeai or tne Hannedrita,
the vlolatlou o' that seal, like the violation
of the seal of the United State govern
ment or of the British government, always
followed with severe penalties.
1 thb'ouaid o'ths tomb.
A reulmeut of soldiers from the tow. r of
Antonio Is detailed to guard that mauso
leum. At the door of that tomb a fight
took place which decided the question for
all graveyards nnd cemeteries. Swonl ot
t Ugbtulagngalnstsword of steel. Angel of
C Qod agajust the military, The body In the
ttVf lgintamavataUaShnudof Una
' - llaarf......! lI!.1m. Jam. fea..... fr l. .... .A.tkAfc
., miivex through tbe portico, appears in the
doorway, comes np tbe marble steps.
CbrUt, havlng.lett his mortuary attire be
alnd hi w.oomes forth lu fbe garb ot a
workman J fake H,Jfrom the fact that
tk women mUtook him for tbe gardener.
There aad thea was shattered the tomb
a that it can never be rebuilt. All tbe
, ttoweUof viirtbly masonry cannot mead
'li KvVaad'fereverAlt Is a broken,
tomb. Death that day taking the side of
Mm military received a horrible cut under
tk aaKi-l'a ;ar -of fUtna, nud'uiuxe him
awf go down at the laai-ibe King o'r Ter
twm dlhAppearlag befsrs the King of Orace.
"The lwlUrlsW."?agaill Hosaanal
When oae of tho'ald ChrUtUrui was
be aM baaaw'oa tbe sky the letter
r,DUrsUad
a mu
Vmm-U fnr'TmWarr '" I uthr un
aM tkaat
kaA lAajmss. ait ajul I mkmmmf ikmU
"V" far
"vUtory." "K"
for
He-
It taint
for "triumph," '
Urd to rim."
Th
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areifad the p'aee vbeit
!isVfiLsmmUmAABmBmlBmBXmmmmmmU
baj f -- r 'V tlf" r
i &-JJkMkXihmME
i .-', asr'
the 1onl Iny I am linprcucd with the fact
that mortuary honors cannot atone for
wroiiKs to tlin llvjug. If they could hnvo
Afforded Christ surli a costly sepulchor
they could have nffonled him n decent
earthly residence. Will they glvo a pleoa
of ninrbla to the dead Christ when they
might have given a soft pillow to the llv
ltK Christ? If they had put half the ex
pense of that mniisotoiim In tho mnklng of
Christ's life on earth com fort nblo the
story would not have been so and. Ha
wanten) bread; they gnvo him a stone.
Christ, like every other Iwnefactor of the
world, was better appreciated after he was
dead. Westminster Abbey and monu
mental QrMRWood are to a certain extent
the world's attempts by mortuary honors
to atone for neglects to the living, Poets'
Corner la Westminster Abbey Is an at
tempt to pay for the sufferings of drub
street. I go Into that Poets' Corner of
Westminster Abbey and thoro I find1 the
grave, ot Handel, the musician from whose
music wo hear today as It goes down re
verberating through the ages. While
I stand at the costly tomb of Han
del I cannot forget the fact that
hla fellow musicians tried to destroy him
with their discords. I goa little farther In
the Poeta' Corner of Westminster Abbey
and I find the grave of John Dryden, the
great poet. Costly monument, great mon
tuary honors, but I cannot forget tho fad
th it t at seventy years of age he wrote about
the oppressions of misfortune, and that he
made; n contract for a thousand verses at
sixpence a line. I go a little farther In tho
Poets Corner nnd 1 find thegravo ot Snm
nel Dutler, tho author of "Hudlbras.'1
Wonderful monument, costly mortuary
honors. Where did ho dlef In a garret.
I moyo further on In the Poets Corner
and I flhd the gravo of a poet of whom
Waller wrote! "An old schoolmaster by
tho nnmo of John Milton has written a
tedious vol'imo on the full of man. If It's
leugih bono vlrtuo It hns none." I goa little
farther on In tho Poets' Corner nnd I find
the grave of Bheridan. Alnsl for Sheridan.
Poor Shcrldanl Magnificent mortuary
honhni. What a pity It was he could not
have discounted thnt monument for a
mouthful of something to eatl Oh,unflltal
children, give your old parents less tomb
stones and more blankets, less funeral and
mora bedroom! Flvo percent, of tho money
now expended at Uurns' banquet would
have made the great Scotch poet comfort
able and kept him from being almost har-
rteu to tteath by the drudgery or au excise
man, Horaoe Greeley oiitrnuoously abused
while he lived going out to his tomb was
followed by the president of the United
States nud the lending men of thoiirmy
and tho navy. Some H'oplo could not say
bitter enough things nbout him while he
lived; nil the world rose up to do him honor
whenliedied. Massachusetts nt tho toinbof
Charles Sumner tried to atone for tho ig
nominious resolutions with which her
legislature denounced tho living senator.
It was too Into. The costly mnnumont at
Sprtnglleld, Ills,, cr.unst pay for Booth's
bpllet. Costly nicrtivsry honors on tbe
banks of take Erie honor that cost be
tween 1000,000 and 11)00,000 cannot pay for
the assassination of James A. Garfield.
Do Justice to tho living. All tho Justice
you Ho you will have to do this side the
gates of the necropolis. The dead cannot
wake up to count the number of carriages
In the procession or see the polish on the
Aberdeen granite or to read the words of
epltaphal commemoration. Costly mauso
leum of tbe gentleman In the suburbs of
Jerusalem cannot atone for Bethlehem's
manger and Calvarean cross and Pilate's
ruffian Judiciary,
APfHOI'RUTR OfUMMSNTS rOM TOMBS.
Again! Standing In this plaee where the
Lord lay I am Impressed with the fact
that floral and sculptural ornamentutlon
are appropriate for the places of tho dead.
We are all glad that In the rhort ttmo of
the Saviour's Inhumation be Iny umld
flowers and sculpture. I cannot quite
understand what I see In tho newspapers
where, amid tho announcements nnd co
KqUles, the friends request "send no (low
ers." Why, thero Is no place so appro
priate for Howera as the casket of tho de
parted. If your means allow 1 repeat, If
your means allow let there be flowers on
tbe casket, flowers on the hearse, flowers
on the gravo. Put them on the brow; it
means coronation. Put them In the hand;
It means victory. Christ was burled In a
parterre. Christ was burled In a garden.
Flowers are types of resurrection, Death
Is sad enough anyhow. Let conservatory
and arboretum do all they can In the way
of alleviation. Yonr little girl loved flow
ers while she was alive. Put thent In her
bauds, now tbat she cannot go forth and
pluck flowers for herself. On sunshiny
days twist a garland for her still heart.
Brooklyn has no grander glory than her
Greenwood, nor Boston than her Mount
Auburn, nor Philadelphia than her Laurel
mil, nor Cincinnati than her Spring Grove,
nor San Francisco than her Lone Moun
tain. What shall I say of those country
graveyards where tbe vines have fallen
down and the slab Is aslant nnd the mound
la caved In and the grass Is tho pasture
f.TOund for the sexton's cattle. Are your
father nnd mother of so little nccouut you
have no more respect than thnt for their
bones? Some day gather together and
atralghUta ur the fenco and lift tbe slab
and bank up the mound and tear out the
weeds and plant the shrubs. After a
while yon yourself will want to lie down
to the last slumber. It you have no re
gard for the bones of your ancestors, your
children w.111 have no deference for your
bones. Do you say these relics are of no
Importance? You will see ot how much
Importance they aro when the archangel
takes out his trumpet. Turn all your
graveyards Into gardens.
FOUU ONLY PRESENT AT THE UURUL.
Standing In this place where tho Lord
lay I am also Impressed with tbe dignity
af unpretending obsequies. -Joseph that
day was mourner, sexton, liveryman had
tne entire charge ot all the occasion, four
people only at the burial of the King of
tbe Universe. Let this be consolatory to
those who, through small means or lack ot
Urge acquaintance, have but llttlo demon
stration' of grief at tbe grave of their dead.
It Is not necessary. Long line of glittering
equipages, two rows of silver handles, cas
ket of costly wood, pall bearers scarfed
aad gloved art; not necessary,
Christ looks out from heaven at a burial
where there are six In attendance, and re
member; there are two more than he had
at Ms ebseaate. Not recognising this idea,
new many small properties are scattered
la the funeral rites, and widowhood nnd
orphanage go out to tbe cold charity of the
world, Tbe.departaj left enough property
to have kept tbe family together until they
eeuld take cats of themselves, but It Is U
absorbed In, tbe funeral rites. That west
for crape whch fought? Uf" Have' gone tor
Mtad. 'A'mejn of.-wwa mesas can hardly
afford te-dwlla.'loM af ourigrent oittesl
Funeral pageantry to net necessary) Me
ee was. ever piore lertaglyand tvsiderly
put late tl' , ' Ve thaa CfcrUt, but Ohm
wen only 'i Vthe pronasslnn.
Again, . ig In tale ataee where the
Lord lay, I am Impressed wtik the laojehat
jreuesaaot keep the dead dewa. Tbeeeal
f the aahttlmtu ngmmmt of soldiera
I from tho tower or Antonio to ntnnit Ktmnl,
Moor or ricK, root or rooK, wall of rock, I
lilcho f rock cannot keep Christ In the
irypt. Como out nml como up ho must.
Cninn nit nud enmo up ho did. lVttllgura
tlon, Tho first fruits of them thnt sleep.
Just in certain as you nml I go ilowu Into
tlio grave, Just so certain wo will come up
ngaln, Though you pllo upon tho top of
us nil tho iHiwidera of tho mountains you
I'uiinot keep us down. Tliouuh wo be
burled under thu coral of tho deepest cav
ern of tho Atlantic ocean wo will rise to
tho surface.
Ahl my friends, death nnd tho grnvo nre
not what they Used to bo to us, for now,
walking around tho spot where the Iml
Iny, wo find vines nnd flowera covering up
tho loin I), nnd thnt which wo called a place
of skulls has Im-coiiic n iK-nutlful garden.
Yen, now thero urn foirr gardens Instead of
one Garden of Kden, Garden of tho
World's Hepiilcher, Garden of Earth's He
generation, Garden of Heaven.
wmi tiiumm:th ahu mioutinob,
Various scriptural nccoitntA-any that the
work of grave breaking will begin with tho
blast of trumpets nnd shoutings; whence I
tnko It that the first Intimation of tho day
will Im a sound from heaven such as hns
Hover beforo Iwen heard, It may not. be so
very loud, but It will bo penetrating, Thero
are mausoleums so deep thnt undisturbed
silence has slept thoro over since thu day
when tho sleepers were left in them. Tho
great nolso shall strike through them.
Among the corals of the sea, miles deep,
where the shipwrecked rest, the sound will
strike. No one will mistnko It for thunder
or tho blast of earthly inlustrulsy. There
will bo heard the volco of the uncounted
millions of tho dead, who como rushing
out of the gntea of eternity, flying toward
tho tomb crylngt "Make wayl Oh, grave,
give us Imck our body! Wu gnvo It to you
In corruption; surrender It now In In cor
ruption." Thousands of spirits arising
from tho field of Sedan, aud from among
tho rocks of Gettysburg, and from nmoiig
tho passes of South Mountain. A hundred
thousand are crowding Greenwood. On
thlsgravo three spirits meet, for there were
three bodies In that tombl Over tbat fam
ily vnult twenty spirits hover, for there
were twenty bodies.
From New York to Liverpool, nt every
few miles on the sen route, a group ot hun
dreds of spirits coming dowu to tho wnter
to meet their bodies. Sco that multitude!
That Is whero tho Central America sank.
And yonder multitude! Thnt Is where the
Pacilla went down. Found nt last! That
Is whero the City of Boston sank. Aud
yonder tho President went down. A soli
tary spirit alights on yonder prairie. That
Is whero n traveler perished In the snow.
Tho whole air Is full of spirits spirits fly
ing north, spirits flying south, spirits fly
ing east, spirits flying west. Crash I goes
Westminster abbey nil all Its dead kings
nud orators and poets get up.
Strange commingling of splritHKenrchlng
among tho ruins. William Wllberforce,
the good, nnd Queen Elmiboth, the hail.
Crash! go tho pyramids, nnd tho monarchs
of Kgypt rlso out of the nenrtof the desert.
Snap! go the Iron gates of tho modern
vaults. Tho country graveyard will look
llko a rough plowed Held as the mounds
break open. All the kings of tho earth;
all tho senators; all the great men; nil tho
beggars; all tbe armies -victors nnd van
quished; all the ages -barbaric nnd civil
Ixoil: nil those who were chopped by guil
lotine or simmered in the fire or rotted lu
dungeons; all the Infants ot a day; nil the
octogenarians nil! all! Not ono straggler
left behind. All! all!
And now the air Is darkened with the
fragments of bodies that are coming to
gether from the opimslte corners of tho
earth. Lost limbs finding their mate
bone to bono, sinew to sinew until every
Joint Is reconstructed, and every arm finds
Its socket, and tbe amputated llml of the
sill neon's table shall Im set ngatn at the
point from which It was severed. A sur
geon told mo that after the h.ittlo of Bull
Htm ho amputated limbs, throwing them
out of tho window, until tho pile reached
up to the window sill. All those frag
ments will have to take their places.
Those who were born blind shall have
eyes divinely kindled; those who were
lame shall havo a limb substituted. lu
all the hosts of tho resurrected not ono oye
missing, uot one foot clogged, not one
nrm ialsled, uot ono tongue dumb, uot
ono ear deaf.
I'EACK lOWAltp HEAVEN AND EAItTIt.
Wnke up, my friends, this dny, this
L'lorloti Raster morning, with nil thee
congratulations. If I understand this day,
It means peace toward heaven and peace
toward earth. Great wealth of flowers!
Bring mora flowers. Wreath them around
the brar.cn throat of tho cannon, plant
them In the deserts until It shall blotwoin
like t rose, braid them Into the mauo of
the war charger as he comes back. No
more rod dahlias of human blood. Gl e us
whitu Miles of peace. Strew all tho earth
with leister garlands, for the reiurrei-tlou
wo celebrate thin morning Implies all Kinds
of resurrection, 11 score of resurrections.
Resurrection from death aud aiu to tho
life of tho gospel, Resurrection of apos
tolic faith. Resurrection of commercial lu
'exrity. Resurrection of national honor
l!cmrrectlou of International goodwill.
Rusiiriectinii af art. Resurrection of liter
n tu re. Resurrection of everything that is
good and kind and generous and Just nud
holy nud Iwautltul. Nothing to stay down,
to stay buried, but slu and darkness nnd
pain and disease aud revenge nud death.
Ix't those tnrry In the gravo forever.
"Glory to God In tho highest, and on earth
peace, ootl will to men,"
Christ, tho Lord, Is risen today.
8011a of men aud auuels say.
ltalsu our souks and triumphs lilah,
Sins, o heavens, nud cartli reply.
Iivo's redeeming work Is done,
Fonuht tho ttuht, tl.e battle won.
Lot tho sun's ccllpso Is o'er;
Uol uu sets In blood no more.
Ilnllier w Menu Trick.
A gentleman who resides within u Sab
bath day's Journey of Sprluglleld Is very
sore over ahorse transaction. He visited
a dealer with a view to bu lug u mate to a
horse he owned. Tho dealer showed mm
one which suited him, but advised him uot
to buy the anluiHl, as he did not consider
htm "right," nud he went his way. As tho
story goes, another denier learned that this
man wanted a horse, and accordingly
stepped around to dealer No. I ami bought
tbe home In question, nnd after u week or
more drove tht, horse around to tho would
Ik ptirchuscr, who wns taken with thu ani
mal, and made u trade, psj ing CI 00 In ex
cess of tht pi Ice asked by dealer No, 1,
Tho pnrcbaser soon found he had liought
the horse he bid first looked at, Spring
Held Homestead.
VmIIcos T KM.
TbepowtibllWesof uuilressed kid are fast
becoming appurent. Not content ,wlth
aboes, gloves, bats, bags, portmanuales,
card cases, to,.ade'Of this pliant mate
rial, madam will row have her botUoea of
kid. Latest advice from Paris show i tbat
Suede -will enter largely Into theoempost-ttoa-of
wsUU, which will fasten in a man-arto-defyHletfetJoii.--
New York Oar. Chi-
Herald.
ni ntrstes;.
A Uttlo boy entered n baker's shop and
asked tho shopwoman for two now loaves,
laying down flvcpenco In puymeut.
"You haven't brought enough, my little
man," said tho shopwoman; "tho bread
has risen 11 halfpenny,"
Little Isiy, after moment's pausci "That's
all my mother gave me. Whoti did it go
up?"
"Today," replied the shopwomnti,
"Then, please. I'll take two of yesterday's
bakliiV'-Loiidon Tlt-Blto.
Mot m Marriage for Money.
Miss Million But, Mr. Marigold, I could
never Is- a party to a marriage for monoy.
Mar! ,jld Do not bo alarmed, Miss Mill
ion. I really haven't a cent to my name.
Munsey's Weekly.
The Amenities.
I was wnlting nt a station on tho Second
Avenue "L" road tho other day when I no
ticed an umbrella mender nnd a traveling
glacier. Tho first had a lot of ribs and
handles nnd old umbrellas, nnd tho second
had n do.en panes of glnsa in n box on his
back. Seeing that they regarded each
other with coldness, I asked of the um
brella mender:
"Don't you recognize tho profession
when you meet?"
"It's not the same lino of business, sir,"
he replied. "Anybody can putty In a puno
of gloss, but It takea nn artist to mend an
umbrella."
Whllu he walked to the other end of tho
platform I shied up alongside of tho glnzler
and remarked:
"Any hard feelings between you nnd tho
umbrella mnn?"
"Oh, no, sir no personal feeling, it's
simply thnt my professional pride de
mands that ho speak first. He's a trade,
you nee, wh.Uo I have a profession."
Two hours later I met them lu company
at Chatham square, and the glazier recog
nized mo at once nnd took mo asldo to sayt
"It's all right, sir all right. He has as
sured mu that ho onco failed In business for
30,000, nud we've agreed that both have
professions, nnd that both of us are pro
fessors." Now York Sun.
Humoring tho Girls.
Tho other day Mrs. McFrlvol, of Van
Ness avenue, entered her parlor where her
four daughters were waiting for the car
riage to take them to tho Bigwallettes'
ball, nnd snldi
"My dear girls, 1 have just received n
letter, in a black bordered envelope, from
London, where, you know, your Uncle
William has been seriously 111 for"
"Great heavens I" exclaimed tbe young
ladles, beginning to weep.
"Of course, there is every reason to sup
pose don't make your noses red, for gra
clous' sake to suppose that It contains sad
news, but"
"But, innwt" exclaimed tho tearful quar
tet, "just look at all our new gowns, and
and everything."
"Exactly," continued tho modern Cor
nelln, "I wns going on to say that while
the worst Is to bo feared, on tho other hand
wo really know nothing definite as yet, and
considering all the circumstances I have
concluded uot to open tho letter until to
morrow morning."
And, repowdcriug their noses, with grate
ful smiles the girls rustled beamingly out.
San Francisco Examiner.
A Chinese Joke.
A rich man, living between tho forges of
two blacksmiths, waa continually annoyed
by the noise of their hammers, and was lu
despair at being unable to rest either by
dny or by night. At first ho tried to In
duce them to hammer more quietly; then
ho made them all kinds of promises If they
would only change their abodes. Tho two
blacksmiths nt last fell In with his pro
posals, and ho, transported with joy at tho
prospect of their departure, etitertalned
them regardless of expense at a farewell
banquet. At tho end of tho feast ho asked
them where they Intended to set up their
smithies. "Well," said one of them, "lie
who lived on your left will gotothosmlthy
on your right, nud ho who lived on your
right will go to that on your left." From
a CliliK'tu Jest Book, quoted In St. James
unzetl".
A Mean lleveiige.
Bullllich Say, see here, Wooden, If you
have any urudgo or grievance ngninst mo
I wish )ou'il como to mo aud havo It out
like a man, and not try to get back at me
in this underhand way.
Wooden Why, I don't know what you
mean.
liulllt.cli Dau't know what 1 mean?
Wasn't it you thnt sent thnt new cook
book to my wife? Boston Courier.
Kxplunatorjr.
Johnny Uncle Horace, why is it so
many llttlo boys cull you uncle? You
ain't anybody's real uncle but mine, you
know.
Bachelor Itelutlvo (somewhat sadly
The mothers of a good many ot them,
Johnny, liecume my er slsu-rs many
years ago. Chicago Tribune,
Kroui "Tlio Trump" A Tragedy.
First Beggar I asked her for some oys
ters.
Second Beggar An what said she?
First Beggar She said "go to."
Second Beggar Whereat you said
First Iktggar Ayo, that aud more, mad
am. I could easily go six. New York Her
ald. Irfing Leg.
lecturer Is explaining thu iK-uiltles and
eontraatu to ls seen lu the Alp.
Winter and summer combined. With
ono foot 1 stood upon tho ley glacier and
with thu other puukcd liluomiug nower.i
from the Isisom of tho valley, Fllegeuik-
Blatter "
v
Turning the Tablwk
Aunt liialiel Oracle, those crusts are not
bard, If 1 were you I'd eat them.
North Hide Two-year-old (pushing them
under thu edge of ier plate) No, atiutle.
If you was me you wouldn't eat 'em but II
I was you 1 would. Chicago Tribune.
Hwcat and Bitter.
A girl Is sweet.
Hut old howbltUr
TIim Antj, trll-l la
When btr dress don't tit her.
' -Hullvllle Harm).
lyj
-The New Realistic Novel
"HER HUSBANI-'S
hy ALBERT
The Latest out by this famous author.
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