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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 3, 1891)
- l'W .&li. mniiiinil ultimo CAPITAL CITY COUklKK, SATURDAY JANUARY 3, 1891. fnB"!- v A CHRISTMAS SKRMON. WEACHED DY DR. TALMAQE SUNDAY, DEO. 28. ON An lntriirrl)' tiiti-rrntllig Itlmcnirxo liy he HnmMjn llhlnt Tim Trl l.iihn II, Iftl "Let Ifn Niiw (Iti Ktru Unto Helli Iflirm" Tit Hrrmon lit I'iiII. llmwiKI.V.N, IHo. !M.-J)r. Tnlinogn'sscr moti today was npproprlntii In the season, Ha subject was the Christmas .ttiblleo. A crowd which tilled tlm Academy nf Alu tie In every url lUtcned loll In the ni(iri). Ing, nnil nuother enormous audience thronged Km Now York Academy of .Mu kIc to hear ll In the evening, when tlm doe tor preached nnilur tlm auspices of Tlm Christian Herald. IIIh text was l.uko II, 1R: "l't us nmv go even unto llothh-ht-m." Atulil i thousand mercies wo glvu each other liolliliiy congratulations. My long established custom wo exhort each oilier tohcallhfol merriment, lly Klf( ty Jtirlnt mas trees which Muslim ami fruit In onu night, by early morning surprise, by clus ton of lighted candles, by children's proces sions, by sound of Instriuueiitn sonict lines more blatant than musical, we wake up thn night nnil prolong tint day, I wish yon all la tlm grandest, nuhlcsl ami l-st sense n merry i;iirlstmns, Tlio event cnmiucm orated is the gladdest of tho centuries. Christ's rraille wan us womlerful an his cross, Persuade mo of thu llrst anil I inn not surprised at t lie lust. The door by which ho entered wmh as tremendous ns the door by which he went out. WIIKIIK JI.HtW WAS IN KOVIT. I wan Inst whiter at the honso where Jesus lled while hu wan In Africa. It wax In Cairo, Egypt, tho terminus of that ter rible Journey which he took when .Joseph nnil Mary lleil with Mm from llethhihciu to Kgypt to t-senpo thu massacre of Herod, All trailltlou, an well its all history, point out thin house In Citiro ns the one In which these three fugitives lived wlilln In Africa, The room Isnlnosteps down from the level of thu street. I measured the room anil found It S.M feet long mid )i feet high. Thcroaro three shelving of rock, one of which I think wan tho cradle, of our Lord. There Is no window, and all tho Unlit must have come, from lantern or caudle. The three arrived hurt) from llcthlehoni, hav ing crowd the awful desert. On tho Mediterranean Mcauicr going from AtheiiH to Alexandria I met the emi nent nchular and theologian, Dr. Ionising, who for thirty-live yearn hint Ih-oii u rosi dent of Cairo, mid he told me that ho had lieen nil over tho road that tho thrco fugi tive took from lli'thlchuiu to Egypt, lie hvh It In u desert way, mid that t lit; forced Journey of thu Infant Christ nitiHt liavu lieen a terrllilu Journey, doing up from Kgypt Or. I-ainIng met n-oplo from Heth lelicm, their tongucM swollen and hanging out from tho lullammatlou of thirst, mid although his party hud hut ono uoutskln of water left, and that wat Important for themselves, ho was ho moved with the spectacle of thirst lu theso poor pllgrluiH that, though It excited thu Indignation of hi fellow travelers, hu gavu water to tho BtraugerH, Over thin dreadful route Jo seph mid Mary started for thin laud of Kgypt. No tlmo to maku much prepara tion. Herod was after them, and what wtro theso peasant licforo an Irate klngf Joseph, tho hiiNbnnd and father, ono night sprung up from his mattrvM lu grunt nlarm, tho beads of sweat on his forehead and his wholu framu nuaklng. Ho had drsnmed of nmiwncresof his wlfonnd bnlio. They must bo o(T, that night, right away. Mary put up n few things hastily, and Jo seph brought to tho door tho beaut of bur den, mid helped his wife and child to mount. Why, thoso loaves of bread am not enough, thoM bottles of water will not last for such n long way. IJut there Is no tlmo to gut anything more. Out mid on. Uood-by to tho dear home they expect never'ngnln to Bee. Their heart break, lb does not need that oumbonlilg house in order to make us tiorry to leave lu . A TKltltllil.K WAY. Over the hills mid down through tho deep gorge they urge their way. lly He bron, uy Unza, through hot Hand, under a Mistering sun, tho Imbo crying, thu mother faint, the father oxhitUHted. How slowly the days and weeks possl Will thu weary three ever reach thu IwukH of iliu Nile? Will they ever boo CAIrof Will thu t'.esert ever endr When at lust they cross tho line beyond which old Herod lnvx no right to pursue their Joy is unlKuinded. Free at lutt Iet them dismount mid rent. Now they rtwumo their way with less anxiety. They will find a place somuwhei-ti for shel ter and tlio earning of their bread. Hero tbey aro at Cairo, Kgypt. They wind through the crooked street, which are about ten feet wide, itud enter "the humble house where I have been to day, llut tho terminus of the Journey of these three fugitives wits not as humblo as their starting point at Uethlehem. If that journey across the desert ended in a cellar ititartcd from a bam. Everything humble around that barn, but everything glorious overhead, Christ's advent was In the 'hostelry culled the house of Clilm Ham; the night with diamonded linger pointing dowu to tho place; the door of heaven set wido ojcn to look out; from orchestral batons of light dripping thu oratorios of the Messiah; on lowest doorstep of heaven the minstrels of God discoursing of glory and goal will. Soon after tho whlto bearded astrologUts kneel, and from leath ern pouch chink the shokuls and from open sacks exhale the frankincense and rastlu out the bundles of myrrh, The loosened star; tho escaped doxology of celestials; tho chill Decemlier night ullush with May morn; our world a last star, aud another star rushing down tho sky that night to beckon tho wanderer home agalu, hall yet make nil nations keep Christmas. NEW UNHACKNEYED LESSONS. Are thvro no uow lessons from tho story not yc hackucyud by oft rcwatnlr Oh, yesl Know In tho flnt place. It was a side roal appearance that led thu way. Why not a black cloud In thu shape 6f a bund or linger pointing down to thu sacred birth placcf A cloud menus trouble, and the world had had trouble enough. Why not a shaft of llghtnlug quivering and Hashing and striking dowu to tho sacred birth placef IJghtnlng means destruction, a fcbattcrlng and continuing power, and tho world wantcd.no more destruction, But it was a star, and that means Joy, that means hope, that means good cheer, that mean osceudeuoy. A start That means creative power, for did not the morn ing triors sing together whou the portfolio of the worlds was opeucdr A star I That means defense, far did not tho Mars tight la their couire ngalust Slscra and for tho Lord's pooplof A start That means brill iant coutinuonce, for are not tho righteous to fhlue ni lh stars forever and everf A start That mciu tho opeulng of eternal Joy. Tho dny star iu tho heart. The mora lag star of tho Hcdcemor. vriuv vxa the mur Tho nuutiMl appcurunce that night may Iiavo lic( n u b'.range conjunction of worlds. As the tivm.lt ef Voaua in our tlmo vu f(rrtold many jrnrs ago by astronomer, mil astronomers can tell what will lie the coiiJuiKtloti of uoilils a thousand jrais from now, wi theyean calculate backward; and I'M'ii Inlldel nsirounmerii have Imm-ii compellisl to li-stlfy that about the year 1 there was n very unusual iippearance lit I ho heavens, Thu Chinese leeord, of course entirely Inilepenilentof the Word of UinI, gives as a mailer of history that about the jear I theru wasa Htraugoaud unarcoiiiilablu appearance lu the heavens, llut It iiiayliao Intii a meteor such as yuu and I haviihis'ti llash to the horlr.ou. I wiw a few jears ngo lu thu norlliern sky a star shoot and fall with such brilliancy mid precision that If Iliad liecn on a hill as high as that, of llcthlchct u which the shepherds stood, I could have marked within a short ilUlauce thu plain of the alighting, Tho University of Iowa ami tho ilrltlsh museum have specimens of mcteorlu stones picked up lu the Ileitis, fragments Dung olf from other worlds, leaving a fiery I rail on the sky So that It Is not to mo at all Improbable the stellar or tlio mcteorlu appearmet) on that night of which we speak, I only earn to know that It Was bright, that It was silvery, that It Mashed mid swayed and swung anil halted with Joy celestial, as though Christ lu haste to save our world had rushed down without his coronet, and thu angels of Cod had hurled It after Mini ClllllsriANITY A HTAII Of lllll'K, Not, u black cloud of threat, hut a uleam- lug star of hope, Is our glorious Christian ity. One glimpse of that stellar appear ance kindled up thusnulof the sick ami iljlng college student until tho words Hashed from his pale lingers and thu star seemed to pour It light from his whlto lips as Klrku Whlto wroto theso Immortal uotds: When iiiaikImhsI on Iliu nightly plnln 1 lie Klllletlng IiiihU IhsUiiiI tlio sky, One nlnr nlonii of nil tlm train ('nil II x tlio sinner's nii(lcrlNee, Hark, Imrk todmll tliiielmrns linnks From etery host, from ctery Hem; llut one nlonp, the Ha lour, ss'nks UlslliuHlAroriletlileliKiu. Oiico mi Hid ritKlng sens I nxtit. 1 Mo storm unilmul, the iiIkIU ns ilnrk, Alul Mutely lilmv the nlml thntliMMtsI my rouuilerliig Imrk. Dis'p hiirntr then my vllnls frnxe, Heath (.truck, I censed the tlilu to stein, When Hiiihleiily n stnr nrnsu It im the Hlnrof llethleheui. Notice also In this scene that other worlds seemed to honor our lord and mas tar. llrlglit star tif thu night, wheel on In iiiiiiuoriui. -an," Mini thu star, "I must couiu nearer, ami I must Isitid and I must watch mid see what you dr. with ny Jesus." Another world that night Joined our world In worship. That, star tuadu n Imiw of ols'lsance. I sometimes hear people talk of Christ's dominion as though it were to 1st merely tho few thousand miles of the world'H circumference; but I lsdlevu tho millions and thu billions and tho quad rillions of worlds nro all Inhahltcd-tf notbysiiih creatures as wo are, still such creatures as Cod designed to make, nnil that all these worlds aru u nart of Christ' dominion, IsanoNuwtou and Kepler and Hersehel only went on Columbus voyagu tollud thesu continents of our king's do main. AM. IN II.UIMONV HUT KAItTII. I think all worlds weru loyal but this. Tho great organ of tho universe. Its neilnU. mid Its pipes, and Its keys all one great har mony savo onu Injured pedal, suvu onu broken stop the vox liumana of tho hu tunn race, thu disloyal world. Now you know that however grand thu Instrument may be, If there ls onu key out of tinier it spoils tho harmony. And Christ must mend this key. Ho must restore this broken stop. You know with what bleed lug hand, and with what pierced side, and with what crushed foot ho did tho work. Hut the world shall hu attuned and all worlds will et bo accordant. Islu of Wight, larger In comparison with thu Ilrlt lsh empire than our Island of a world as compared with Christ's vast domain. If not, why that celestial escort r If not. why that sentinel with blazing badge abovo thu caravimsaryr If not, why that mid night watchman In tho balcony of lieavenl Astronomy suriuuderud that night to Christ. This planet for Christ, Tho solar system for Christ. Worlds abhu.o mid worlds burnt out all worlds for Christ, lulensest microscope cannot seo tho one sldu of that domain. Farthest reaching telescope cannot Unit thu other sldo of that domain, Hut I will tell you how- tho uni verse Is Isiunded. It Is bounded on tho north mid south and east and west and above and beneath by Cod, aud that Cod Is Christ, and that Christ hOtxl, and that God Is ours. Oh, doc It not enlarge your Ideas of a Saviour's dominion when I tell you that all the worlds nro only sparks struck from hlsunvllr that all thu worlds are only tho llcccy Hocks following tho ono shepherd f that all the islands tif light In Immensity nm one great archipelago be longing to our klngr TIIKY WKIIK WI8K MEN or THIS EAST. Hut this scene also Impresses mo with tho fact that tho wlso men of tho eastcninu to Christ, They were not fools, they were not I micelles. Tho record distinctly says that thu wlso men came to Christ. Wu say they weru tho magi, or they weru thu alchemists, or thoy were thu astrologlsts, and wo say it with depreciating accentui Hon. Why, they were the most splendid and miigulllceiit men of thu century. They were thu naturalists and tho scientists. They knew all that was known. You must remember that astrology was the mother of astronomy, and that alchemy was thu ut ihcr of chemistry, mid because children n.u brighter than thu mother yon do not despl.se thu mother. It was tho lifelong business of these as trologers to study tlio stars. Twenty-tit o hundred and llfty years before Christ wns born tho wlso men know tho precession of J mo equinoxes, and tliey had caleuloted thu orbit and tho return of tho comets. Pro lessor Smith declares that l.u thinks they understood thu dlstaucoof thusuu from thu earth. Wo Hud iu tho book of Job that tho men of olden time did not suppo.su thu world was Hat, as sonio have said, lint that hu knew, and thu men of Ids time know, t hu world was globular. Tho pyramids weru built for astrological and astronomical study. Then, tho alchemists spout their lives lu thu study of metals and gases and liquids mid solids, and lu tilling tho world's library with their wonderful discoveries. They were vastly wlso men who came from the c.it, mid tradition sus tho three' wisest cunio Caspar, a young man: Hal- Xhiuar, a man iu midlife, and MelchlorA uu octogenarian, xuo tnn-o wisest incut1 of nil tho century. They came to the mau-' ger. THE WISE MEN OT THE WEST. So it has always been tho wisest men come to ChrUt, tho brnluicit men come to the mimgor. Who was thu greatest meta physician this country ever has produced Jouatlmti Kdwnrds, tho Christian. Who wrj tho greatest astronomer of tho world r Hersehel, tho Christian. Who was the Greatest poet over prudiiccdf John Milton, the Culstlsti. Who was thu wisest writer on luwr l.lackstono, the Christian. Why is 'f ih... every college a-d university in thn laud has a chnsdr They must huvo a placo foi thu wlso men to worship, Come now, let us understand lu ounces and by Inches this wholu matter. In iMnt-inortein examination tho brain of distinguished men has Ihtii examined, and I will find the largest, tho heaviest, ths mightiest Drain ever produced lu America, mid I will nsk what that brain thought of Christ, Hem It Is, thu brain weighing sixty thrcn ounces, thn largest brain ever produced lu America. Now let inn Hud what that brain thought of Christ. In tlm dying moment that man said; "Iinl, I helleve, help thou mini) unbelief Whatever else I do, Al mighty Cod, receive inu to thyself for Christ's sake. This night I shall 1st In thu light, mid Joy mid blessedness." So Daniel Wel.ster eiimu to thn manger. Thu wlso tueii of Iliu east followed by tho wise men of tho west. Know also lu this scene that It wits a winter month that Cod chosu for his Son's nativity. Had It Im-cii thu mouth of May that Is the season of blossoms. Had hu been Isirn lu thu month of Juno that Is tho season of roses. Had ho been bom In tho month of July that Ih the season of great harvests. Had hu ln-en Isirn lu thu month of SepteinlsT that Is thu season of ripe orchards. Had hu been Isirn In thu month of October that Is tho season of upholstered forests. Hut ho was born In a winter month. CIIIIIHT Will, HEM' IN HTOIIMY TIMI.fl. It was III closing December that ho was Isirn to show that this Is a Christ of peo ple In sharp blast, for people under clouded sky, for people with frosted hopes, for IH'iiplo with thermometer la-low zero. That Is thu reason hu Is so often found among thu destitute. You can find him on any night coming olT tho moors. You can seo him tiny night coming through tho dark lanes of thu city. You can seu him putting his hand under thu fainting head in thu pauper's cabin. Ho re mi'iubcm how thn wind whistled around thu caravansary In Hctlilt-heni that Decemlier night, mid hu Is lu sympathy with all thoso who lu their poverty Hear tho sliuttcrs olattur on a cold night. It was this December Christ that Wash Ington and his army worshiped nt Valley l-'orge, when without blankets they Iny down lu thu DecemlH-r snow. It was this Christ, that thu Pilgrim Fathers appealed to when thu Mavllowur wliarfed at Ply mouth Hock, and lu tho years that wont by tho graves digged were more In number than the houses built. Oh, I tell you, we want a December Christ, not u Christ for fair weather, but a Christ for dark davs clouded with sickness, and chilling with disappointment, nnd suffocating with bo reavement, and terrlllo with wido open graves. Not a springtime Christ, not a summer Christ, not nu autumnal Christ, but a winter Christ. Oh, this sulTerlng and stiuggllng world needs to ho hushed mid soothed nnd rocked and lullabled lu the arms of sytnpathotlu Omnipotence! No mother ever with more tenderness put her foot on tho rocker of tho cradlo of a sick child than Christ comes down to us, to this invalid world, and hu rocks It Into placidity aud quietness as ho says, "My peace I glvu unto you; not as tho world glveth glvu I unto you." WHY UK WAN IKIItN IN A MANDKIt. Not Mi also a fact which no onu seems to notice that this Christ was Isirn among tho sheep, nnd tho cattle, ami thu horses, and thu camels iu order that, hu might lsj an alluvlatlng Influence to tho whole nul lum creation, it means mercv for over. driven, underfed, poorly sheltered, galled aud maltreated animal creation. Hath tho Christ who compared himself to a dove no care for tho cruelties of tho pigeon shootingr Hath the Christ who compared himself to n lamb no care for tho sheep that aro tied and contorted, and with neck over the sharp islgo of tho butcher's cart, or thu cattlu train in hot weather from Omaha to New York, with no water lit teen hundred miles of agouyr Hath the Christ whoso tax was paid by a fish, thu coin taken from IU mouth, no care for tho tossing tins In tho Hsh market? Hath tho Christ who strung with his own hand thu nerves of dog and cat no Indigna tion for thu horrors of vivisection? Hath tlio Christ who said "Co to tho ant" no watchfulness for tho transfixed Insects? Hath the Christ who said "Heboid tho fowls of thu air" himself never beheld tho outrnges heacd upon tho brute creation which cannot articulate its grief? This Christ cunio not only to lift tho human race out of Its trouble, but to lift out of pang and hardship tlio animal creation, lu thu glorious milennial tlmo tho child shall lead thu lion ami play with thu cock atrice only because bruto and reptile shall have no more wrongs to avenge. To alle viate the condition of thu bruto creation Christ was born iu the cattle pen. Tho Urst bleat of the Lamb of Cod heard amid the tired Hocks of the Uethlehem shepherds, Tho whlto horso of eternal vic tory stabled in a barn. AM. THE WOULD 18 IIIH. Hut notice also lu this account the thrco Chrlstmus presents that aro brought to the manger gold, frankincense mid myrrh. Gold to Christ that means all the aftlu euco of thu world surrendered to him. For lack of money no more asylums limping on their way like tho cripples whom they helped, feeling their slow way like thu blind peoplu whom they sheltered. Mill ions of dollars for Christ where there aro now thousands for Christ. Hall roads owned by Christian stockholders, aud gov erned by Christian directors, ami carrying passengers aud freight at Christian prices. George Penbodys and Ablsjtt Iawrunces and James Ienoxes no rarity. Hank of England, Hourso of Frauce, United States treasury, all tho moneyed Institutions of tho world for Christ. Tho gold for Christ. Gold not merely paid tho way of Joseph and Mary mid thu dlvlno fugitive into Kgypt, but It was typical of tho fact that Christ's way shall bo paid all around tho world. Tlm gold for Clirlit, tho sllvor for Christ, the Jewels for Christ. Australia, Nevada aud Golconda for Christ. Tho bright, round, beautiful Jewel of a world set liko a snlitalro on the bosom of Christ. Hut I notice that theso wise men also shook out from the sacks the in) rrh. Tho cattle came and they snuffed at It. They did not eat It becaute It was bitter. The puniont gum resin of Abyssinia culled myrrh brought to tho feet of Christ. That means bitterness. Hitter betrayal, bitter persecution, bitter days of sulTerlng, bitter nights of woe. Myrrh. That Is what they put iuto Ids cup when ho was dying, Myrrh. That Is what they put under his head iu tho wilderness. Myrrh, That Is what they strewed his path with all tho way from tho cattlu pen in Uethlehem to the mausoleum nt Joseph's country scat. Myrrh. Yea, suys tho Psalmist, "All thy garments smell of myrrh." That is what tho wUo men wrapped lu tho swaddling clothes of tho babe. That Is what the Murys twisted In tho shroud of it crucified Christ. Tho myrrh. Oh, tho height, tho depth, tho length, tho breadth of tho Saviour's sorrowl Well might tho wise men shako out thu myrrh. VltASKINCENSi: MEANS WOUSIIM'. Hut I notice also from another sack they shako out tho frankincense, Clear Up to the rafters of thu barn thu air la Ullctl with perfume, ml thu hustlers mid tho camel drivers In tho farthest part of tho building Inhale It, nnd It lloats out upon tho air until passershy wonder who lu that rough placo could havu by iiccldt-ut dropped a box of alabaster. Frankincense, That Is what they burned lu tho censer In thu undent temple. Frankluceusu. That menus wor ship. Frankincense. That Is to till nil tho homes, and all thu churches, and nil thu capitals, mid nil thu nations from cellar of stalactltcd nie clear npto thu nllvery raft ers of the starlit ilomo. Frankincense. That Is what wu shake out, fiom our hearts today, so that tho nostrils of Christ onco crimsoned with thu hemorrhage of thu cross shall lie flooded with tho perfume of a world's adoration, Frankincense, Frank Incense In song and sermon and olTertory aud handshaking anil decoration. Iralsu him, mountains and hills, valleys nnd seas, and skies and earth and heaven cyclonu with your trumpets, northern lights with jour llnming ensign, morning with your ensiles of cloud, nnd evening with jour billowing clouds of sunset. Do you know how they used to hold thu censer lu the olden time, and what it was tnndu of? Hero is a metal pan and thn handle by which It was held. Iu thu Inside of this metal pan were put living coals, on thu top of them a perforated cover, lu a square Isixtho frankluceusu was brought to tho temples. . This frankluceusu was taken out and sprinkled over the living coals, and then tho perforated cover was put on, nnd when they were nil ready for worship, then thn rover was lifted from tho censer and from all thu other censers, and tho per fumed smoku nrnsu until It hung amid all thu folds and dropped amid all the altars, and then rose In great columns of prni.su outside or nlsivo thu temple, rising clear up toward the throne of God. So wu havu two censers today of Christmas frankincense. Here Is thu ono censer of earthly frankin cense. On that wo put our thanks for tho mer cies of the past year, thu inurcles of nil our pusi nves, iiiuivmiiai mercies, laniuy mer cies, social mercies, national mercies, and our hearts burning with gratitude send aloft thu Incensu of nralsu townra the throne of Christ. Hrlngon more Incense, nnd higher nnd hlgher'lct thu columns of prnlsii ascend. I-t them wrenthu all these plll-irs mid hover amid all theso arches, and then soar to thu throne. Hut hero is thu other censer of heavenly thanksgiving and worship. U-t them bring nil their frnnklncetise thu cherubim biing theirs, mid thu seraphim theirs, aud thu ono hun dred and forty-four thousand theirs, and all thu eternities theirs, and let them smoku with perfume on this heavenly cen ser until the cloud canopies thu throne of Cod. Then I tnku theso two censers thu censer of earthly franklncensoand the cen ser of heavenly frnnklnceiise nnd I swing them before the throne, and then I clash them together In onu great hallelujah unto him to whom thu wlso men of tho cast brought thu gold mid tho myrrh and tho frankincense. Messed bo his glorious tiaino forever) Where 1'olly Went. Ouu summer evu Deacon Colo enmu Into thu town of Concord, N. H., mid driving up to tho dry goods store nt which he ni ways traded, iu front of which there were half a do.un loungers, ho Inquired If any one had seen his wlfo Polly that tlaj-. No onu had, and ho went on to say that sho had suddenly disappeared about 0 o'clock lu the forenoon aud ho had not seen her since. "Do you llgiire that she has skipped out?" asked ono of the crowd. "Hardly. Polly's 07, you know, and as homely as a toadstool." "Hut wlniln Is curus critters," observed another citizen. "She might have gone off to the nayburs' in a huff." "I've bin to all the nayburs'," replied tho deacon. "Searched the house?" "Yes." "Ain't In tho garret?" "No." "Ain't down' cellar?" "No." "Ain't in the barn?" "No." "Nor iu tho smoku house?" "No." "Well, that beats me. Het j-ou ten to ono shu's gone crazy and wandered off, or elsu shu has got tired of j-ou and sklppud." "What's tho fuss here?" asked a tin ped dler as ho drove up. The fact were given him, and ho turned on thu deacon with: "Why, dang yer buttons, you don't know even u little bltl Sho fell into the well, In course, mid you'd better hurry homo and git her outl" Tho deacon drove away at a rattling pace, while tho crowd laughed at his ex pense, but tho next day when he appeared in town I asked him if he had any news of his wife nnd he replied: "Oh, yes, Polly wns in tlio well' nil right enough, nnd had lieen standing in water up to her chin all day; rather blamed uu for not hearing her holler, but sliogotr.ll over It after lielng dried out." Now York Sun. How One Wither Forgot. There Is a pleasant little restaurant not many miles from Fulton street where the waiters add many per cent, to tho flavor of dishes by calling thu orders down a speak ing tube addressed in tho Frenchlest of tones and with an ulr of demanding fur something extra from an imaginary chef. "Chef," Is tho cry, "a nlco tenderloin steak and extra fried potatoes." "Chef, seo that you get plenty of gravy on that roast of lamb, nnd the mint muico separate, if you please." "Oh, chef, will you kiudly attend to that order yourself?" It is very appetizing to hear theso cries. Visions of a whlto rolled Alsatian in tho snowiest nf caps aud aprons arisoattho sound of those calls, and many a tip doubles lu slzu for tlio thoughtful waiter who is looking out so carefully for j-our inner comfort ami keeping so well In tlio good graces of the guntlenianlyurtlst do cuisine. Hutnlnsaudalackl tho cat Is out of tho bag. A new waiter hns destroyed tho fond illusion for onu customer ut least. "Chef," said thu uow waiter in tho voice of Stentor, "ehef, bo so good as to send up some hlco dry toast with that steak. " Soinu question apparently cunio up thu. tube, to which tho now waiter lu a voice of thunder remarked, "Yej, mu-a-am." Where aro tho visions Alsatian now? Whero is that whlto breeched urtlst and his immaculate cup nnd apron. "Yes, ma-a-aml" I gazed about that disenchanted house of entertainment, and It seemed ns If hor ror had frozen every waiter nnd every cus tomer. Thu edgu of mynpfiutlto turned llko a razor held haul down against a grindstone. A greenish mist camo before my eyes, and I seemed to seo a fat and greasy feinnlo with unwashed hands mid unkempt hair wielding tho spoon of olllce. I groaned aloud. I turned my faco away aud strove to think uu other things, but It was no use, and sick at heart I seized my overcoat, paid my fare uud silently crept away. Now York Herald. A warrior Of davs of From place to place kept dodging; For pence of mind lie could not find Without a good Knight's lodging. And he would still be wntulcrlne; nliout In Ids coat of mall some kind friend linu" nol recommended him to cnll on A. T. Uructtcr & Co., and furnish bis room with n selection of the'r stock of Furniture. Do likewise nnd de happy. AUG. TH. GRUETTER & CO. 1118 N STKKKT. 33s"-issBswy -i, i i-m: ,jr"rT?mv esss .sWWBfrftaBiaw: rv ."j Mill Willi wmk "-TBBB9SB?UOTVMBlSUBLSl9!BBlBB.'r iBsmMsnfi&llWlsDHBtars.' '" tsHBsnV-HllllsiilBTSnflaBHB1 y MJ'SMlIHlMsmgLff i m. UmklHkHKSBBssHHssH'll JL ""tiPsssMssHBfipa5iWI5svSa Bjgfjsssssssssssssssssjg3rsBjsssjsjflgrj" A TWICE TOLD TALE ! The wise man sclcctcth the "Hur llnglon route" and therefore starteth aright. He array ctli himself In purple nnd fine linen, for lo, nnd behold, he Is snugly ensconced in a "lower center" on the famous vcstlbulcd flyer, where smoke nnd dust nrc never known. He nrovidctli himself with .1 book from the generous library near at hand, ndjustctli his traveling can, aud pro ccedetli to pass a day of unalloyed pleasure and contentment. And It came to pass, being hungry and athlrot, be steppeth Into the dining i:ar, and by the beard of the prophet, 'twas a fenst fit for the gods. Venison, Hlue I'olntF, Hergundy, frog legs, can vasbacks, Muni's extra dry, English plum pudding, fruits, nuts, Ices, French coffee, verily, the wise man waxcth fat, and while he llghtcth n cignr, lie takctli time to declare that the meal was "out of sight." t occurrcth to the wise -n hat the country through which he journey ed was one of wondrous beauty, inso much that It was with deep regret be noted the nightly shadows fall. How ever, tenfold joy returned as he beheld the brilliantly lighted car, and the merry company It contained. Verily, it afforded a view of Elysium. The wise man retlrcth to rest. De lleiously unconcerned, be sleeps the sleep of the righteous nnd awakes much refreshed. Ills train is on time, bis journey ended. He rcjolceth with exceeding great joy, as he holds a re turn ticket by the same route, the "Great Iiurllngton. MORAL: Travel by J. FRANCIS, Gen. Pass, nnd Ticket Agent, Omaha. KiminiiiKm 100 Engrayed Calling Cards And Copper Plate, for $2.50. If you have a Plate, we will furnish 100 Cards from same, at $.150. WESSEL PRINTING COMPANY. bold old Nebraska's Leading Hotel. ! THE MURRAY Cor. 13th and Harney Sts , i STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS All Modern Improvements nnd Conveniences. B. 8ILL0WAY, Proprietor. IBA MOBY, Principal Clerk. T"c foolish man buycth a ticket of a scalper. In the morning, behold, he savetb fifty cents; and lo, at nightfall lie Is out $9.37. lie starteth wrong. W" might and main lie hurricth to the depot, only to find bis train four hours late. 1 he peanut boy slzctli him up and sellcth him a paper of an uncer tain date. A8 lie journeyeth nlong, lie formeth a new acquaintance, for wliomhecashetli a check. Five minutes for refreshments. While he rushetli to the lunch counter some one btcalcth his gripsack. He changcth cars, 16 these many times, and it strik etli the foolish man that lie "doesn't get through pretty fast," and be be moanctli his ill luck. He L'ctteth a rliwh.r In 1,1c ... ..., A verily he sweareth and cusseth full' free. ii lAtiiiiiigviu uirce pieces ot sliver for a bunk In a sleeper, and nwakcth just In time to catch an infernal nigger sneak ing off with his boots; the Porter's ex cuse nvalleth nothing, and the foolish, man straightway putteth bU boots tin der his pillow, that no man may break In and steal. H's train runneth Into a washout, a hackman taketh him In to the tune of six shillings, and the foolish man llftcth. dp his voice in great lamentation, for lo and behold, the tavern Is away but half a block. He reachctli home weary and hearts sore; his trunk cometh next day minut the cover and nm li.imll,. h ,..ci..i. hereafter to travel only by the "Great Hurllngton." the Burlington Route A. C. ZIEMER, City Pass, and Ticket -Vjjent, Lincoln. TK&V -ii.