CAPITAL CJTY COURIER, SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1889.
3
t
R
I HOW TO MAKE FMENDS.
DR. TALMAQE SAYS IT IS A SACRED
AND DIVINE ART.
Friendship nn Altogether Different Thing
fnun Ocutiillty Throwing tlio Mnutto of
Clmrlty Over tlio Defects In Others Tlio
Tntuo of Nnhlo rrlotuU.
BnooKLYN, Juno SO. At tlio Tabernacle
this morning, fitter tlio pastor, tho Itov. T.
Do Witt Tnlniaco, D. D., bad mado mi expo
sition of a jK-usngo of Scrlpturo, tlio congrc
cation, led by cornot and organ, Bang tho
bynin beginning:
Now I bavo found a friend,
Jesus U mlna.
Dr. Talmago's subject was "How to Mako
Friends," and his text lYovcrbs xvlll, JM: "A
man tbat bath friends must show hltnsolf
friendly." Ho saldi
About tbo sacred and dlvlno art of making
and keeping friends 1 speak a subject ou
which 1 novor beard of any ono preaching
and yotQod thought it of enough (niportauco
to put It in thomlddloof tho II I bio, tbeso
writings of Solomon, bounded on ono sldo by
tho popular Pbahnsof David and on tho other
by tho writings of Isaiah, tho greatest of tho
prophets. It seems all a matter of haphazard
how many fr'cuds wo havo, or whether wo
havo any friends at nil; but thcro is nothing
accidental about it Thcro is a law which
governs tho accretion and dispersion of
friendships. Thoy did not "Just happen so,"
any moio than tho tides Just happen to rlso
or fall, or tho sun Just happens to rlso or set
It Is a science, an art, a Uod given regula
tion. Tell mo how friendly you nro to others
and I will tell you how friendly others nro
to you. I do not say you will not havo
enemies; indeed, tho best way to got nrdcut
friends is to havo ardent enemies if you got
their cmity in doing tho right thing. Good
men and women will always havo enemies be
cause their goodness Is a perpetual rebuko to
evil; but this antagonism of foes will mako
moro intenso tho lovo of your ndhcrcnts.
Your friends will gather closer around you
bocauso of tho attaoksof your assailants. Tho
moro your enemies abuso you, tho better your
coadjutors will think of you. Tho best friends
wo over had appeared atsomo Juncture when
wo wcro cicclally bombarded. Thero havo
been times In my llfo when unjust assault
multiplied my friends, as near as I could
calculate, about fifty a minute. You
nro ound to somo peoplo by many cords
that neither timo nor eternity can break,
rnd I will warrant that many of thoso cords
hero twisted by hands malovoluuL Human
naturo was shipwrecked about flfty-nlno cen
turies ago, tho captain of that craft ono Adam,
and his first mate, running tho famous cargo
aground on a snag In tho River Hiddukel; but
thero was at least ono good trait of human
naturo that waded safely ushoro from that
shipwreck, id that is tho disposition to tako
tho port of thoso unfairly dealt with. When
it is thoroughly demonstrated that somo ono
is being persecuted, although at tho start slan
derous tongues wcro busy enough, defenders
finally gather around as thick as honey bees
on a trellis of bruised honoysucklo. If, whon
tot upon by tho furies, you can havo graco
enough to keep your mouth shut, and pro
servo your equlpotso, and lot, others fight
your battles, you will find yourself after a
whllo with a wholo cordon of allies. Had
not tho world given to Christ on his nrrival
at Palcstino a very cold shoulder, thcro
would not havo been ono-half as many angels
chanting glory out of tho hymn books of tho
sky bound in black lids of midnight. Had it
not boon for tho heavy and Jaggod and tortur
ous cross, Christ would not have been tho ad
nilrod and lovod of moro peoplo than any
being who over touched foot on cither tho
eastern or western hemisphere Instead,
thcrcforo, of giving up in despair because
you havo cnomios, rejoico in tho fact that thoy
rally for you tbo most helpful mid enthusi
astic admirers. In other words, thero Is no
virulence, human or diabolic, that can hin
der my text from coming truos "A man that
bath friends must show himself friendly."
Yocn mjENDsmp must not be a i'kktexse.
It is my ambition to project, especially
upon tho young, a thought which may bo
nlgnly shapo their destiny for tho hero and
tho hereafter. Beforo you show yourself
friendly you must lx friendly. I do not rec
ommend a dramatized geniality. Thcro is
such a thing as protending to Iw en rupjKirt
with othors whon wo are their ' dlro destruct
ants, and talk against them and wish thorn
calamity. Judas covered up bis treachery
by a resounding kiss, and caresses may bo do
monlacoL Better tho mythological Cerbe
rus, tho tbrco headed dog of hell, barking at
us, than tho wolf in sheep's clothing, its
brindled hido covered up by deceptive wool,
and Its doathful howl cadencod into au inno
cent bleating. Disraeli writes of Lord
Manfred, who, after committing many
outrages upon tbo pooplo, seemed suddenly
to becomo friendly, and invited them to
a banquet. After most of tho courses of food
bad been served bo blow a horn, which was in
thoso times a signal for tho servants to bring
ou tho dessort, but iu this enso it was tho sig
nal for assassins to enter and slay tho guests.
His pretended friendliness was a cruel fraud,
and thcro uro now pooplo whoso smllo is a
falsehood. Beforo you begin to show your
self friendly you must bo friendly. Qet your
heart right with Ood and man and this graco
will becomo easy. You may by your own
resolution got your uaturo into a scmblanco
of this virtue, but tho graco of Qod can
sublimely lift you Into it. Sailing on tho
River Thames two vessels ran aground. Tho
owners of ono got ono hundred horses and
pulled on tho grounded ship and pulled
it to pieces. Tho owners of tho other
grounded vesnul waited till tho tides
camo in and easily floated tho ship out.of all
trouble So, wo may pull and haul at our
grounded human nature, and try to get into
better condition; but thcro Is nothing llko
tho Oceania tides of Ood's uplifting graco to
hoist us into this kindliness I am eulogizing.
If when under tho flash of tho Holy Ghost
wo soo our own foibles and defects and de
pravities, wo will bo vory leulcnt and very
easy with others. Wo will look into their
characters for things commoudatory and not
damnatory. If you would rub your own
eyo a little moro vigorously you would And a
moto In It, tho extraction of which would
keep you so busy you would not havo much
timo to shoulder your broadax and go
forth to split up tho beam In your neigh
bor's oyo. In a Christian spirit keep on
exploring tho characters of thoso you
meet, aud I am suro you will And
something in them delightful and lit for a
foundation of friendliness. You invito mo
to coma to your country seat aud spend a fow
days. Thank you I I arrivo about noon of a
beautiful summer day. What do you dot
As soou as 1 arrivo you tako mo out under
tho shadow of tho grout elms. You tnko mo
down to tho artificial lako, tho spotted trout
floating Iu and nut Miioug tho white pillars
of tho pond lilies. You tako mo to tho stall
and kennels where you keep your flna stock,
and hero nro tho Durham cattle aud tho Gor
don setters, and tho high stopping steeds by
pawing and neighing, tho only Inuguugo they
con speak, asking for harness or saddlo, and
a short turn down tho rood. Then wo go
back to tho hoiiH), and you get mo iu the
right light and show nw the Ren
setts and tho UlerstadU on tho nail.
and tako mo into tho muslo room,
and ihow mo tho bird cages, the canaries iu
tho bay window answering tho robins In tho
treo tops. Thank you I I novor enjoyed my
self moro In tho samo length of timo, Now,
why do wo not do that way In regard to tho
characters of others, and show tho bloom
and tho music aud tho bright fountains! No
Wo say como nlong aud lot mu show you
that man' character. Hero U n groon
scummed frog ond, and there's a filthy col
lar, and I guess muter that hedgo thero must
bo a black snnko, Como, nnd lot us for nn
hour or two regnlo ourselves with tho nui
sances. Oh, my frlouds, Iwttcr cover up tho
faults and extol tho virtues, nnd this habit
onco established of universal friendliness will
becomo as easy as It is this morning for a
syrluga to flood tho air with sweetness, as
easy as It will Iw further on In tho season
for a quail to whistlo up from tho
grass. When wo hoar Bomothlug kid nbout
somobody w horn wo always supposed to bo
good, tako out your load pencil nnd snyi "Let
mo soo! Beforo 1 accept that baleful story
against that man's character, I will tnko off
from it twenty-flvo per cent, for tho habit of
exaggeration which bolonpi to tho limn who
first told tho story; thou I will tnko off
tweuty-flvo per cent, for tho additions which
tho spirit of gossip in every community has
put upon tho original story. Then I will
tako off twenty-flvo per cent, from tho fact
that tho man may havo lccn put into cir
cumstances of overpowering temptation. So,
I havo taken off soventy-Avo per cent. But
I havo not heard his sldo of tho story at all,
and for that reason 1 tako ofT tho remaining
twenty-flvo por cent." Excuse mo, sir, I don't
bollovo a word of It,
A DEFECTlVn MAXIM.
But hero comes In a defectlvo maxim, so
often quoted i "Whoro thero Is so much
smoko thcro must bo somo lire." Look at all
tho smoko for years around Jenncr, tho Intro
ducer of vaccination; and tho smoko around
Columbus, tho discoverer; and tho smoko
nround Martin Luther, aud Savonarola, and
Galileo, and Paul, and John, nnd Christ, nnd
tell mo whero was thoflrol That Is ono of
tho Satnnla arts to mako smoko without flro.
Slander, llko tho world, may bo mado out of
nothing. If tho Christian, fair minded, com
mon Bcuslcal spirit in regard to others pro
dominated in tho world, wo should havo tho
millennium in about six weeks, for would not
that bo lamb nnd Hon, cow aud leopard lying
down togctherl Nothing but tho grnco of
Ood can over put us Into such a habit of
mind and heart as that. Tho wholo tendoucy
is in tho opposite direction. Thli Is tho way
tho world talks! I put my iiamo on tho back
of n man's note, and I had to pay It, and I will
novcr again put my name on tho back of any
mau's note I gavo a beggar ten cents, nnd
flvo minutes nftcr I saw him entering n liquor
storo to spend it, I will novor ngnln glvo a
cent to a lwggnr. 1 holpod that young man
start In business, nnd lo, after a whllo, ho
camo and opened a storo almost next door to
mo, and stole my customers. I will novcr
again help a young man start In business. I
trusted in w hat my neighbor promised to do,
aud ho broke his word, and tho Psalmist was
right beforo ho corrected himself, for 'all
men aro liars.'" So men becomo suspicious
and saturnine nnd selfish, nnd nt ovcry addi
tional wrong dono them they put another
layer on tho wnll of their cxchnlveness, nnd
another bolt to tho door that shuts them out
from sympathy with tho world. They get
cheated out of a thousand dollars, or misin
terpreted, or disappointed, or botrayod, and
higher goes tho wall, and faster goes another
bolt, not realizing that whllo thoy lock othors
out, thoy lock themsolvcs In; and somo day
thoy wako up to find themselves imprisoned
in n dastardly habit. No frlouds to others,
others aro uo friends to them. Thero's an
Island half way botweou England, Scotland
aud Ireland, called tho Islo of Man, and tho
seas dash against all sides of it, and I am told
that thcro is no moro lovely nlaco than thnt
Islo of Man; but when a man liecomes Insular
In his disposition, nnd cuts himself off from
tho main land of tho world's symp-ithles, ho
Is dcsplcublo, and all around him is an Atlnn
tio ocean of selfishness. Uphold that Islo of
Maul
Now, supposing that you havo, by a dlvlno
regeneration, got right toward God aud hu
manity, and you start out to practlco my
text: "A man that hath friends must show
himself friendly." Fulfill this by all forms of
appropriate salutation. Hnvo you noticed
that tho head Is so olsed that tho easiest thing
on earth Is to glvo n nod of recognition! To
swing tho head from sldo to sldo, us when It
Is wagged in dorislon, is unnatural nnd un
pleasant; to throw It bock, Invites vertigo;
but to drop tho chin In greeting Is accom
panied with so llttlo oxertlon that all day
long and ovcry day you might practlco it with
out tho least somblanco of fatigue So also
tho structuroof tho hand Indicates hand shak
ing; tho knuckles not mado so that tho fingers
can turn out, but so mado that tho fingers
can turn In, as in clasping hands; and tho
thumb divided from and sot aloof from tho
fingers, so that whllo tho Angers tako your
neighbor's hand ou ono sldo, tho thumb take
it on tho other, and pressed together, all tho
faculties of tho baud givo emphasis to tho
salutation. Five sermons iu ovcry healthy
hand urgo us to hand shaking.
DC KIND TO EVERYBODY.
Besides this, overy day when you start out,
load yourself up with kind thoughts, kind
words, kind expressions and kind greetings.
When n man or woman docs well, tell him so,
toll her so. If you meet somo ono who is im
proved in health, and It Is demonstrated In
girth and color, say: "How well you lookl"
But If, on tho other hand, under tho wear
and tear of llfo ho appears palo and exhaust
ed, do not Introduce sanitary subjects or say
anything nt all nbout physical conditions.
In tho caso of Improvod health, you havo by
your words given another impulso towards
tho robust and tho Jocund; whllo In th
caso of tho falling health you havo
arrested the decliuo by your silence,
by which ho concludes: "If I wero
really so badly off, ho would havo said some
thing about It." Wo nro all, especially thoso
of a nervous temporamout, suscoptlblo to kind
words and discouraging words. Form n con
splracy against us, and let ten tnon moot us
at certain points on our way over to business,
and let each onosayi "How sick you look;"
though wo should start out well, after moot
ing tho first and hearing his depressing salute,
wo would begin to oxamtno our symptoms.
After meeting tho second gloomy accosting,
wo would concludo wo did not foul quite as
well as usual After mooting tho third, our
seusatlons would bo dreadful, aud after meet
ing tbo fourth, unless wo oxp;cted n conspir
acy, wo would go homo aud go to bod, and
tho other six pessimists would bo a useless sur
plus of discouragement. My dear sir, my dear
madam, what do you mean by going about this
world with dtshourtcnmontsf Is not tlio sup
ply of gloom aud trouble aud misfortune
enough to meet tho demand without your
running a factory of pins and spikes Why
ihoitld you plant black and bluo iu tho world
when God so seldom plants them I Plenty of
scarlet colors, plenty of yellow, plenty of
green, plenty of pink, but very seldom a
plain black or blue I never saw a black
(loner, and there' only horo ami thero a bluo
bell or a violet, but tho bluo W for tho most
art reserved for tho sky, and wo havo to
look up to soo that, nnd when wo look up no
color can do us harm. Why not plant along
tho paths of others tho brightnesses Itntend of
theglooitisl Do uot prophesy misfortune If
ou mii-t lo a prophet nt all tio an Rzckiel
and not a Jeremiah. In ancient times proph
ets who foretold ovil wero doing right, for
thoy wero divinely directed; but tho proph
ets of ovil In our timo nro genornlly
folsn prophet. Somo of our weather wlso
peoplo nro prophesying wo shall havo a sum
mer of uiiarnlleled scorclu It will not bo
that at all. I think wo aro going to havo n
summer of groat harvest and universal
health; nt any rato 1 know as much nbout It
as thoy do. Iwt fall all tho weather pro
phets ngreod In saying wo should have n win
ter of extraordinary novorlty, blizzard on tho
hecli of blizzard. It was tho mildest winter
I over rcmomlier to hnvo jvissod. Indeed,
tho autumn nnd tho spring almost shoved
winter out of tho procession. Real troubles
hnvo no heralds running nhead of their som
ber chariot, nnd no ono has any nuthorlty In
our timo to announce their coming. lad
yourself up with helpful words nnd deeds.
Tho hymn once sung In our churches Is unfit
to bo sung, for it snysi
Wo should susioct somo danger near
Where wo iushcm delight.
In other words, manngo to keep mlscrnhlo
all tho time Tho old song sung nt tho pianos
a quarter of n century tigo was rlsjhtt "Kind
word can noverdle" Such kind words havo
their nosts In kind hearts, and when thoy nro
hatched out and tako wing they clrclo round
In flights thnt novcr ceaso, and sxrtsinaii's
gun cannot shoot them, and storms cannot
rulllo their wings, nnd when thoy cento flight
In tbeso lower skies of earth they sweep
nround amid tho higher altitudes of heaven.
At Baltimore a fow days ago I talked Into a
phonograph. Tho cylinder containing tho
words was sent on to Washington, nnd the
next day that cylinder, from another phono
graphic instrument, when turned, gnvo back
to mo tho very words 1 had uttered tho day
Iwforo, nnd with tho samo Intonations. Scold
Into n phonograph, and it will scold back.
Pour mild word Into a phonograph, and it will
return tho gentleness. Society mid tho world,
nnd the church, aro phonographs. Glvothom
acerbity and rough treatment, nnd acerbity
and rough treatment you will get back. Give
them practical friendliness, nnd they will give
back practical friendliness, A father asked
his llttlo daughter: "Mary, why Is It that
ovcrylKxly loves you" Sho answered: "1
don't know, unless it is bocauso I lovo every
body." "A man that hath friends must sho
himself friendly," Wo want something like
thnt spirit of sacrifice for others which wan
seen In tho English channel whero In the
storm n Iwut containing three men was tiisot,
and nil threo wcro In tho water strug
gling for their lives. A boat camo to their
rellof, nnd a rojw wns thrown to ono of them,
nnd bo refused to tnko It, saying: "First iilng
It to Tom; ho is Just ready to go down. I can
Inst somo timo longer." A man liko thnt.'lie
ho sailor or landsman, bo ho iu upper rank
of socloty or lower ranks, will always have
plenty of friends. What Is truo manward It
truo Godward. Wo must Ik) tho friends of
God If wo wnnt him to bo our friend. We
cannot treat Christ badly all our lives and
oxjiect him to treat us lovingly, I was read
ing of n sea light, in which Lord Nelson cap
tured a French officer, and whon tho French
officer oirerod Lord Nelson his hand, Nelson
replied: "First glvo mo yoursword, nnd then
glvo mo your hand." Surrender of our re
sistance to God must proccdo God's proffer of
pardon to us. Itepcntnnco beforo forgive
ness. You must glvo up your robolllous
sword lieforo you can get a grasp of the
dlvlno hand.
IT Ifl OOOD TO UAVK GOD'S FIUE.NDSIIII'.
Oh, what a glorious state of things to have
tho friendship of God I Why, wo could afford
to havo all tho world against us and all othor
worlds ngnlnst us If wo hnd God for us. Ho
could In a minute blot out this.univcrso, nnd
in another minute mako a better universe. 1
havo no Idea that God tried hard whon he
mado all things. Tho most brilliant thing
known to us Is light, nnd for tho creation of
that ho only used a word of command. As
out of a flint the frontiersman strikesn spark,
so out of ono word God struck tho noonday
sun. For tho making of tho present universe
I do not read that Uod lifted so much as a
Anger Tho Blblo frequently speaks of
God's hand, nnd Ood's nrm, nnd God's
shoulder, and God's foot; then sup
poso ho should put hand nnd nrm nnd
shoulder and foot to utmost tenslou, what
could ho uot mako! That God, of such
demonstrated and uudemoustruted strength,
you may havo for your present nnd overlast
lug friend. But n stntoly aud reticent friend,
hnrd to get nt, but as approachablo as n
country mansion on a summer day when nil
tho doors and windows tiro wldo open.
Christ said: "I nm tho door." And ho Is a
wldo door, a high door, a palace door, au
always open door. My four-year-old child
got hurt, and did not cry until hours after
when her mother camo homo, aud then she
burst Into weeping, and somo of tho domes
tics, uot understanding human uaturo, said
to her: "Why did you not cry boforor Sho
answered; "Thero wns no ono to cry to."
Now I havo to toll you that whllo human
sympathy may bo absent, dlvlno sympathy
Is always accessible. Givo God your
lovo and got his lovo; your service
and securo ids help; your repentance
and havo his pardon. God u friend 1 Why,
that means nil your wounds medicated, all
your sorrows soothed, and if somo sudden en
tastropho should hurl you out of earth it would
only hurl you Into heaven. If Ood Is your
friend, you cannot go out of tho world too
quickly or suddenly, so far ns your own hap
piness is concerned. Thero wero two Chris
tians last Tuesday who entered hoaven; tho
ono wns standing at a window In perfect
health watching tho shower, ami tho light
nlug instantly slow him. but tho lightning
did not Hash down tho sky ns swiftly as his
Bpirlt flashed upward Tho Christian man
who died nn tho samo day noxt door had
boon for a year or two failing Iu
health, and for tho last threo mouths hnd
suffered from a disease that made tho night
sleepless and tho dnys an anguish. Do you
uot really think that the caso of tho one who
went Instantly was moro deslrablo than tho
ono who entered tho shining gate through a
long lane of Insomnia nnd congestion) Iu
tho ono caso, It was llko your standing weari
ly at n door, knocking nnd waiting, anil won
dering If it will over open, nnd knocklug and
waiting again; whllo iu tho other case, it wns
a swinging open of tho door nt tho first touch
of your knuckle Glvo your friendship to
God, aud havo God's friendship for you, and
oven tho worst accident will bo a victory.
HUMAN riUENDSIIIP IlEKItE8III.N0.
How refreshing Is human friendship, nnd
truo friends, what priceless troasural Whon
sickness comes, aud trouble comes, and death
comes, wo send for our friends first of nil, and
their appearance in our doorway in nny crisis
isro-cnforcement,nnd when they lmvoenterod
wo say: "Now it Is ull rlghtl" Oh, what
iuld wodo v ithout friends, personal friends,
himnoss friends, family friends! But wo
t.it something mightier than human friend
ship iu tho great exigencies. When Jonathan
Edwards In his final hour hnd given tho
last good-by to oil his earthly friends,
ho turned on his pillow nnd closed his
eyes confidently saying: "Now whero U Jesus
of Naziuetti, my truo nnd never falling
friend!" Yes, I admire human friendship ns
seen In tho enso of David and Jonathan, of
Paul nutl Oneslphorus, of Herder and Goetho,
of Goldsmith nnd Reynolds, of lieiumont
and Fletcher, of Cowley and Harvey, of
Era'smis and Thomas More, of Less'ng and
ik-n i-U'hn, of Lady Churchill nnd Prim
vfs iViuo, of Orestes and Py lades, each re
questing Unit himself might tnko tho jKiInt of
tho dagger no tho other might bo snared of
Epntninondns nnd Pelopldoj, who locked
their shield in bnttlo determined to dlw to
gether; but. tho grandest, tho mightiest, tho
tenderest friendship In all tho unlverso
Is tho frlondshlp between Jesus Christ
and a bollovlng soul. Yet after all
I havo said I fool 1 havo only
dono what James Marshall, tho miner,
did in 1813, In California, Moro Its gold
mines wero known. Ho reached In nnd put
tiK)ii tho table of his employer, dipt. Sutton,
a thimbleful of gold dust, "Whero did you
get that I" said his employer. Tho reply w nsi
"I got It this morning from n mill race, from
which tho water had boon drawn off." But
that gold dust, which could havo been taken
up between tho finger nnd tho thumb, wns
tho prophecy and eclmeil thnt revealed
California's wealth to nil nation. And todny
I havo only put beforo you a specimen of tho
vnluo of dlvlno frlondshlp, only a thimbleful
of mines Inexhaustible mid Infinite, though
all timo and nil eternity go ou with tho ex
ploration. ODDS AND ENDS.
Tho Primrose loaguo comprises 600,000
members.
A cord of Missouri hickory turns out 800
ax handles.
Tho two great movers of tho human muid
nro tho dcslro of good and tho fear of evil.
What next! Cowboys aro seriously con
templating tho uso of ostriches for herding
cattle
Thero aro nlnoty-savon cotton mills In In
dia, which consumed 28:1,000,003 pounds of
cotton Inst year.
Most peoplo would succeed In small things
If thoy wero not troubled with great nmbl
tlons. IiOiigfcllow.
Tho electric light from tho EIITel tower can
lo distinctly seen at Foutaliieblenu, thirty
Boven miles away.
Tho laco trado gives occupation to almost
70,000 women Iu Normandy mid to nearly
200,000 .'i-M)u In France
Boys digging Iu sand nt Hnverstraw one
day camo ujion Ixmos supposed to bo thoso of
n revolutionary soldier,
Wodo lovo beauty at first sight; and wc
do ceaso to lovo It, if it Is uot accompanied
by amiable qualities, Lydla Maria Child.
Thero nro now about fl,000,000 owners of
farms In the United Stntes. Aliout 1,000,000
of tlio farms havo been acquired since 1880.
An eminent urtlst recently painted a snow
storn so naturally that ho caught a bad cold
by sitting near It with his cont ofT.
A Sau Francisco firm has built tho largest
wlno collar In tlio world. It Is capable of
holding .1,000,000 gallons of wine Itscost
was fiW.OOO.
What is tho dilTcreuco between a summer
dress in w Inter and an extracted tooth f One
Is too thlu aud tho other Is tooth out.
Somo men get on in tho world upon the
samo principle that a chimney sweep passe
uninterruptedly through a crowd. Douglai
Jcrrold.
Youth is tho time of hojie. When a man
gets a little older ho stojis hoping mid beglm
reaching out for what ho can get.
Parson (to candidate for Sunday school)
Havo you been christened, my boy I Boy
Yesli, shir. Got marks In threo plashes on
ray left arm. Ijudou Punch.
In a sixteen pago lovo letter exhibited in
court iu Provldenco tho other day tbo word
"darling" occurred thlrty-soven times, nnd
yet tho girl In tho caso said it was "a cold,
unfeeling epistle"
A Philadelphia policeman who stole certain
clothing contributed for tho Johnstown suf
ferers was arrested, indicted, convicted, sen
tenced .and taken to prison iu threo hours nnd
twelve minutes. Who says thnt Philadelphia
is slow!
A now Industry is developing on tho Island
of Guadalupe Thoro aro now nbout fifty
thousand wild goats thcro, aud thoy aro being
killed for their skins and tallow. Stcamcrf
havo already arrlvod at Sau Diego, Cal., with
cargoes of goat skins nnd tallow.
John Williams, a bachelor in Augusta, Me,
was told that a certain widow ha I set her
cap for him, and Join was so afraid that he
might bo roed into mnrrlago that ho went
to tbo barn ami hung himself.
Another library of women's writings is tc
bo founded this timo lu Germany It is tc
bo started in n small town, whero a room in
tho public library will bo loaned for tho col
lection until It Is sul'.lcleutly formed to be
taken to Vienna or Lclpslo to bo formally
mado over tothoAUgcmcinoDcutschoFrnucn
vereln.
A Belgian Journal gives an account of a
beauty show held at Paris in 1033. In re
membrance of tbo oldest competition of the
kind tho prizes wcro golden apples. Tlio first
prlzo was, of courso, awarded to tho- queen
of Franco, aud tho second was obtained with
1,723 points by a Mile Semuro. Most of the
prlzo winners wero ladies from Normandy,
Thirty yen: s ago tho Thomas Dickason, a
Now Bedford whaling ship, was lost In the
Okhotsk sea. Lost summer tho tork Cape
Horn Pigeon took n whalo lu tho samo sea,
and Imbedded iu tho blubber was tho Iron of
a har)Oon, with tho words "Thomas Dlckn
son" stumped ou It, It was as bright and
shorn as when it was first struck Into tho
whale, at least thirty years ago.
A wonderful Miuko story comes from Mur
rumburrnh, In Now South Wales, A man
killed a largo black snnko, aud, seeing that
tho reptile was of a peculiar shape, ho opened
tho body Iusldo was a bullock's horn, out
of which opped a rat, still alive It issup
posod that tho snnko chased tho rnt Into tho
horn, and, King unable to dUlodgo him,
swnllowod rat ami horn together
Tho Rev Mr Wllgus-1 hox you aud
Brother Wlggs bocaum fully reconciled be
foro ho illol Deacon Pod wothy O, yes. 1
went around and told him that as ho was
about to I miss In his checks I would fully for
give him for nil tho dirty tricks ho had over
dono mo, though I didn't prcsumo to bay that
tho Lord would do so, and (gleefully) you
ought to have seeu how- tho old tinner looked.
Terro Haute Express.
Tho bravest and most clear headed aro also
tho most patient; they know how to "bide
their timo" simply another form of expres
sion for patience Where two men generals,
diplomatists or lawyers aro equal In every
thing but patience, the one who has tho most
of that sovereign quality will triumph; and
the samo is truo of governments aud nations.
"Lot patience havo her orfect work."
In tho United States postal service
thoro aro W.200 postmasters, 7,000 rail
way mull service employes, 7,000 lot
tcr carriers, 100 Inspectors, 6,000 clerks
In tho postofUccs, COO clerks lu tho
postolllco devrtmcnt This gives a total of
77,000 employes. Every postmaster averages
two assistants, and this iu round numbers
amounts to 110,400 persons, which number
addul to 77,000 gives HU.tfOO persons over
Whom tho service has control.
It is xr encouragement to toll through
llfo to uiinv a fortune to ruin your children
Iu muo cohm out of ten a largo fortuno U tb
grenbwt curso which could bo boquen'ted to
tho youn and Inexperienced. Durko.
f
U ( I MEAL
RUDGE &
ii22 N
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Wc bey lenvc to Inform our Lincoln patrons nnd the public In funeral thnt
our Importation of FINE
Novelties for Spring and Summer
Arc now rendy for Inspection. Wc linvc n much larger nnd finer nssortment
than ever before. Call nnd sec our latest novelties from London nnd l'nrls.
Dress Suits a Specialty.
guckert & Mcdonald,
315 S. 15th St., Omnhn, Nob.
SLINCOLN'S new am STUDIO A COMPLETE SUCCESS!
ELITE STUDIO
ONLY GROUND FLOOR
PINE ART WOI?K.
22b South Eleventh Street.
sHsfl F'.sr tpkXSsRXCZs!MHIsssssssW
'ssssBSsssslisiMHMPissB)
L&iisVssVjCniflfliiflH
f8BIwimu9!NMBi.
SHStHlMHiHls9fliflH4al
Hates reni-oimble. KverjlhuiK now and complete. Prompt service mid the best menu In
Omnhn. Hot unci cold w liter In e cry room. Otllcc nnd illuliiK hull on first tloor. All mod
em Improvements. I.lncolnltes nlwii rteelve a cordial welcome. Call nnd see us whllo lu
(linidin. You enn wl Into tho cant nt depot nnd tnko 1IAUNKY ST., CAULK LINE
niltKCT TO THi: nooit. tor. Jltli nnd Harney.
I iia l Uiciin.l lerk.
' 'NWMLMsMsflf
IiiIIIIiibW
the nick of time, and "just strikes the spot." The quiet enjoyment of a fragrant Ha
vana In a charmingly decorated and gorgeous smoking apartment, nnd finally a peace
ful sleep In n bed of snewy linen nnd downy softness. Such is life on the "HUR
LINGTON" ROL TK. What other line or combination of lines can offer you these
advantages? NOT ONE. IMchsc remember this when next you travel.
Information of
lug to Railroad
all kinds
or Ocean
pertain-Steam-
khlp Tlcketfc promptly answered.
G. W. HOLDREGE, Gcn'l Mgr.,
J. FRANCIS, G. P. and T. A.,
OMAHA, NE11.
HABDWAKE, STOVES
AND
TINWARE,
Leonard Eefrigerators,
Hot Air Eurnaces,
Van's Wrought Iron
Ranges,
MORRIS.
Street.
STUDIO IN THE CITY.
T. W. TOWNSEND, Proprietor.
LINCOLN HRANCII OF
Max Meyer & Bro.,
W holeiilt nd Retail Dfsleri In
PIANOS 0 ORGANS
Oencrnl western intents for tho Htcln
wiiy, Knnbe, Chlckerlnic, Vose, Ernst
(lahler, llehr Uros., 'ovby A Uvans, nnd
Hterllni.'.
linr.os marked In plain nmircs prices
nlwnjH tho lowest for tlio fc-rndo cf pianos
C. M. HANDS, Manager.
lA'J North 11th Street.
THE-
MURRAY
Omaha's Leading Hotel.
Opened Sept. 1, 1S68.;
Finest Hotel in the West
II. HIM.OWAY, Proprietor.
A BEAUTIFULLY UPHOLSTERED RECLINING CHAIR
that U the ery embodiment ot case nnd luxury;; a friendly game
of WhUt, n choice volume from the well stocked library, a prom
cnadc from car to car (the handsome vestibule excluding all dust,
smoke, rain or wind, and thus rendering the promenade a de
lightful nnd novel pastime). A sumptuous meal that comes In
My superior advantages enable me to
ticket to and from Europe at the lowest rates
and to secure desirable cabins In advance of
sailings. The generous patronage accorded
me by prominent people of Omaha, Lincoln
and other Nebraska cities attest the popular
ity of this office.
'tstrUlS
City Passenger and
Ticket Agent,
LINCOLN, NEB.
y S jl?
CyLV t
'i