4 lMfMU(Ki' nta.r,T-rtt rp t n t -.mrTlr , i-r-ym, - -nj i lsy.rsssdJU? yWy,.MWianWftrirnnMiiiT rnmn t-?mmn mmwtmmmmmmwmmmm m i i i, .1.1 f, , Ml a'WVTiWifptfitWpillrfMiWTi)i n mIIMpPmwMpiiMHiii'MHBHIHBBlHBHVWpiMIHM iWWWffflWWWp'rfl CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, MARCH 30, 1889. 1 . P." H' i& HEYMAH & DEICHES, 1M8-IM0 l-'Arnnni Ml., Wow PaxIoii Block, On-i-XuS-, - ZLnTibib THE LAMEST CLOAK, SUIT and FUR HOUSE, In The West We nro now Introducing ninny now novel. 11m In (spring nnd Hummer Wear, nml re- Invito our Lincoln friend to onll and oo tho now lino Jiistopoucd. ARE DIRECT IMPORTERS AivJ am Much onn offer Inter styles ut lowor price tlinn any hmiso writ of Chicago u fact we'll 1110 pleasure, in proving io itiiicoiimes, CALL AMD SEE US WHEN IM OMAHA. Wo can rtnw you n tin lino of Clonks, Dresses uiur Fur thnt lurpasn anything yon have over soon In the entire west, It will pity you to tako a trip lo Omnlm to see u, If you want anything nlco Inonr line. Kill Orders Receive Prompt Attention. ss: iimrmi PRINCIPAL POINTS EAST, WEST, NOlJH and SOUTH -s J V -JV.T- 1044 O STREET. FAST MAIL ROUTE ! Igffitt VUSv 0NSAU sssVsssssssFssiXsf'vBV 2 DAILY TRAINS 2 -TO AtchUon, Leavenworth, St.Joscph.Kansas City, St. Louis nnd all points South, East and West. The direct line to Ft. Scott, Parsons. Wichita, Hutchinson and nil principal points In Kansas. The only road to the Great Hot Springs of Arkansas. Pullman Slkkpers and Fkee Reclininq Ciiaik Cars m all trains , lCIAHl, HP.Jt.MlLUI, Cky Tkt Af cnt, Gen'l Agent. Cw.Oand ilthSts. HEn LITTLE POEM. Conlldlng vTI( Gives llrr Husband a Genuine Murprl. 'I tinil not Intended to toll you, MlHger," Midi tin young. vlfo of Mr McHwnt, "but I rn n't keep a wvrot Any longer," 'Ik it ikmMIjIo, lbelln," exclaimed WHIgcr, mrrediiloiisly, "Hint ou Imvo boonnhloto ki'in secret At nlir "It Is. And you would novor rucm It, either r "lleen making men dressing gown or an imhmlderod night enpf" "No." "You Imvcn't been running up a bill nt HotoAli S: Co. V lio Inquired, with n suspi cious look And a cold fooling In tho region of bli spine, "Uue ngnln." "Ikvn (Aklug lessons nt A cooking school P ha Aiikvil, paling Vint lily, "Na Uuosa Agnln." A clammy perspiration broko out All over lilui And ho loAiuilAgiiliut tno mniitol forsup- UOrt AN hOgllodl "Lobelia, In Aunt Jubtlou coming to spend tho summer with tisf" Tho young wlfo laughed gleefully "No,"iho answered. "You'll havo to try gAln, llllllgor " "Toll mo what It Is," ho snld, with re turn big self coinmnnd. "1 fool iu If 1 could stand Any disclosure now." "1 think you'ro real moAii, llllllgor, but 1 will toll you. A llttlo ooin of initio Is going to bo published In tho nozt Century Magn slno." "Whowl" (This U tho tltno honored way In which a long, low whlstlo of astonishment has nlwnys liecn represented In print by tho most suo coKHftil wrcstlors with tho lAnguago, from tho Uld Mnstcrs down to II. Illdor MnggArd. Tho render, theroforo, will kindly understand that Mr Illlliger McHwnt gnvo uttonuico to Along, low whlstlo.) "In tho tlayi of our courUhlp, Lololla," ho continued, staring hard nt tho celling, "you never told mo you wroto pootry. 1 didn't know you woro Addlctod to It, or"- "(Jr wlmtl" tho Uomandod, with tomo As perity "Nothing iiotlilngi" ho oxclnlmed.hAstlly. "And to you nro to havo a contribution In tho next Century I How much I tho editor to pay you for It, Lobelia T "1 don't know. 1 haven't hoard from him you" "Then how do you know ho Is going to print Itr" "How do I knowl Docnuno ho hasn't re turned it I eut it to hint nearly two weeks ago." "01 You did I You Inclosed stamps for re turn postago, of coursol" "Why, no, DUllgor. 1 novor thought of that Is It customary T' "Ur-nol That Is, not Always," replied the young husband, niAstoring bis emotion by a desperate effort. "It probably wasn't neces sary In tho caso of your poem, Lobelia. And you havo saved at least two conUI" Mrs. McHwat was not exactly sure whether bo was In earnest or not. Bho looked at him with some suspicion, but his countenance wore that look of unearthly gravity and Inno cence that may sometimes bo seen on the face of a boy at school Just after ho bod rolled a doublo handful of bird shot over the floor. "Lobelia," he said, after a pause, "you haven't spoken of this this poem of yours that is or ah going to be printed nest month to auybody elso besides mo, havo your' "No." "Then don't do It, Lobelia," he said. "If you can manage to hold in till tho poem la printed, which" - and Bllllger held his handkerchief to his face and coughed convul sively in It for a few momenta "which will be only two weeks longer, you know It will bo all tho greater surprise to everybody. And when that pootn is printed In tho magoxlno, my dear, I'll make you a present of a pair of diamond earrings." The trusting young wlfo pillowed her head on his bosom In an ecstasy of gratltudo, and as BUIigor McHwat smoothed bor goldon hair and murmured Iu her oar soft assurances of his willingness to bankrupt himself, If neces sary, hi order to glvo her costly presents as a token of his prtdo and admiration as soon as the poem appeared he could feel himself growing moaner, and smallor," and more' de spicable every moment O young wives) ' Bo warned in time. When temptations to write poetry for the magazlnca Assail your souls do not yield. Re sist them- It Is a terrible thing to do any thing that causes young husbands to feel themselves growing smaller than they are akvmlyl Extract from "Frightful Warn ings of History," from the French of Dennis Malcahy. Chicago Tribune. A 'Green Lot. Among toe personal effects of a fakir ar rested the other day on complaint of a hotel for non-payment of board was a wheel of for tune, and while detectives were examining this with a great deal of curiosity one of them found a bidden spring which was worked by pressing a button. "What Is this fori" bo Innocently asked. "To stop the wheel at any doslred point," was tho answer. ."But why should you desire to stop It at any certain potntr "Why should II Suppose that a John Heury has laid his dollar on tho flgure 7. The pointer stops at that flgure and bo wins." "But do you stop It there 1" "Certolnly.' "To let him wlnf "Of course." "1-1" "No, of course you don't, but I do. Next timo thoro aro from four to eight John Henrys with their dollars at '7,' and the pointer stops at 8. Sorry for you, gontlo men, but if you haven't traveled It's not my fnult" Dotrolt Froo Press. Easily Remedied. Jackson (colored) Hain't yo' nobcr read dat In nil do railroad accidents do rcah ci am alius do ono dat am smashed up do wu'stl Sawbones Den why doan' doy lenbo do rcah ca' off do train! Philadelphia Press. Irate Father Young man, I am amosed, astounded, sir, that you should seek to marry my daughter on so short an acquaintance. You are almost a stranger tber. Tha Vnun U.n Wall. ahadont take SDT ore chaceee thai" I da ' bWs almost a more stranger to me, too,-PhlUdapla Record. An Kveu Thine. A John on the Crowd, tlfld Noned Man I At a Clark street resort fre quented prlncllly by actors) I want a good IcAilIng man for a now play If I can get tho right man I'll glvo him lfOn week. A general rush nnd chorus of "I'm your nAU." "TAko mo," "I'vo plAyod with Booth," etc Ibxl Nowd Mnn Not so fAst You mny not want tho part It's n tank drama, Ands the lending man has to stay under water ten iiilnuton. Chlcngo Herald. A Natural (Jiintlon. Miss Hello (wnrnlngly) Sally, thoy usod lo tell mo, when 1 wasn llttlo girl, that if I ild not lot coireo nlono it would mako mo foolish. Bally (who owes her otic) Well, why didn't youf Llfo. WORKING A HOG. . The Wlmlo Tumi Caught the Idea When It Was Tiki I-iito. When I entered tho vlllago, situated among tho hills of Now York, At 10 o'clock In tho morning, nil was oacofu! and soreno, nnd tho Iiocket of ovory mnn who wnlkcd tho streets lad chink in It When I left, nt4 p, in,, aii excited mob hnd posnoxslon of tho main street nnd every other mnn was dead broke. About noon n mnn arrived from tho north in a buggy. Ho said ho was n drover and looking for hogs. Ho bought half n dozen bo foro ho Ato dinner, nnd It was astonishing how clowly ho gucraed nt their livo weight Ha was within two pounds on four of thorn nnd only half a pound moro on tho others. Thcso had been nu attraction for n crowd of Idlors, and thogenoral verdict wns thnt tho drover was as slinrpiu n barlwr's razor. Boon after dinner a fanner looking boy drovo a hog Into town and staked him out in front of tho tavern. As ho wnnted to sell and tho drover wnnted to buy, thoy soon camo to gether. "Might tako him on a pinch, but bo's only a nubbins," said tho drover as ho sized tho porker up. "Nubblnsl Why, thnt pig goes over SOO pounds!" exclaimed tho owner. "Can't stuff mo, boy. I'vo been In tho business twenty years." "No ono wants to stuff. Thnt 'cro bog goes to 210," "Ho does, eh I Wish your father had como In. I'd Uko to mado a Lot with him. Boy, you ought to havo better Judgment That Log won't pull down 180." "Guess you aro off, too," remarked a strnn.T who bad quietly driven up in a buggy "I've raised hogs all my life, and that boy hain't flvo pounds out of his guess." "Ain't hoi Raised bogs, have youl Ever raise any monoyl" "A little." "Perhaps you'd like to bet on that bogl "Pcrhaj" "Havo you got 190 as says he goes 0001" "I havo fifty a hundred I" "Then let's chalk. Anybody can blow." It was a chance to make a dollar, and the citizens Improved It The man In tho buggy was an accommodating chap, and somehow or other the farmer-boy managed to Ush lup about a hundred dollars from tho bind pockot of his overalls. Tho citizens stuck by tho drover, having abundant proofs of his Judg ment, and when every man In that town who had a loose dollar or could borrow one hod mado his tct tho hog was driven to tho scales and weighed. "Gentlemen," sold the drover Just before the weighing, "1 was never deceived In my life. This hogwon't go to ISO pounds." "I'll take oven bets that ho goes over 900," replied tho man In the buggy. This bluff raked out the last nickel In the crowd, and the hog was driven upon the scales. The record was 211 pounds. He was weighed and rewelghed, but the figures stood. "Well, it's my first error in a hog," said tho drover, and all bets were at once handed over. The farmer noy slipped out, tno two tnon drove off In tho buggy, and half an hour bad elapsed before a church deacon, who had laid bis ten wllti tno urover ana lost, suddenly declared that It was a put up Job to skin the town. "Durn my buttons If It hain't I" yelled 300 mon in chorus, but It was too lata. Tho town had been skinned, and tbo trio hod escaped. All tho mob could do was to turn Ioomj and wreck au old vinegar factory And pass a res olution to tho effect that liberty was a sham and a delusion. Now York Bun. Tho tllshop and the noy. "What are you doing hero, my IndP "Tending swine, sir." "How much do you gotl" "Ono florin a week, sir," "I also Am a shepherd," continued tho bishop, "but I havo a much iwtter salary." "Thut may bo, but thon 1 supxMo you havo moro hogs under yourcaro." Tho shepherd was about retir ing when tbo boy continued! "Bay, can Uod do anything I" "Yes, my boy " "Can ho mako a 'J-ycar-old colt In two minutes!" "Why," said tho ostoulshcd bishop, "he would not wish to do that, my boy." "But If bo did want to, could hoT'lnsUtcdtho boy, "Yes, certainly, if ho wished to." "Whatl In two minutcsr" "Yes, iu two minutes." "Well, then, bo wouldn't be "J years old, would tie I" Tho bishop collapsed. Phila delphia Press. A Slean ftlun. Goodfollow Lend mo n dollar, Jack, Close fellow You had a dollar In your pocket not twenty minutes ago "I know, but 1 dropud Into tho Dowdrop Inn to get a froo lunch and met n croud of friends there, nud of couno I had to treat, and it took all I had." "Well, 1 don't feel llko lending you any thing. I can't sparo It" "Why, you bad a dollar and a quarter In your pockot boforo you went out, and as you never pay over twcnty-flvo centa for your lunch, you must havo a dollar loft If thoto la anvtblng 1 dcoiilso it Is a mean man." Philadelphia Record. How She Dlstlnffulshed Her Ties. An old lady who lived In a New England town baked a mince and apple pio ovcry Saturday But after they woro baked thoy woro as bivd as tho "Two uromios'-uouoay know which was which. She was not lack ing, bowovor. In tho fcrtllo ingenuity of her sex, and "Now," who triumphantly oxctalmed, "I don't have no more troublo, Vauw 1 Just mark with my crust cutter on the mince pie T, M.' ('tis mlncei, and on the apple pie 'T. M.' (taint mlnce."-Phlladelphla Press. THE BACHELOR'S EGG9. II Tried lo net Ttiem United Soft, bat Tbny Cnme Out Htono Hard. A Bcrntiton bachelor, who boards nt ono of tho hotels nnd rooms outsldo, got so tired of eating stnlo eggs n while Ago thnt ho thought ho would seo If ho couldn't chaugo tho pro grnmmon llttlo. Bo ho bought throo dozon now laid eggs and took them to his lodging, and when howentto ten thnt night ho carried a couple, of tho eggs In his ockot nnd told tho pleasant faced waiter girl to linvo them boiled soft Thoy enmo back ns hnrd as rocks, And tho bachelor boarder declared that no ono In thnt kltchon know enough to boll an egg. Tho huudsomo waiter girl said sho was sorry that tho cook hadn't douo ns sho hnd ordered her to, nnd sho volunteered to hnvo two other eggs boiled soft, but tho boArdcr told bor sho needn't Tho noxt morning ho took two moro eggs over to tho hotel nnd gnvo special directions ns to how thoy should bo boiled, nnd ho had to swear when ho oicnod them, for thoy wero ns hard ns baso bnlls. At stimier that night ho took throo eggs, got nnothcr girl lo tnko his orders, nnd gavo thosnmo directions. Result! Thrco eggs ns unyielding ns bullots. Tho bachelor cild ho guessed It was tltno for him to change his boarding plneo, nnd ho uttered other unpleas knt remarks regarding tho Interior manage ment of tho culinary department of tho houso. But ho was on Imnd tho noxt morn ing, nnd ho had thrco nlco largo fresh eggs In his pockot Calling his favorite waiter girl, ho said i "Now, 1 want you to open thcso eggs, drop thorn iu hot wntcr and poach them very soft, nnd, my dear, I want you to stand by thorn nnd seo thnt thoy ato cooked right" Bho said sho would and uwny sho went, but tnnmlnutoor so sho roturued looking sad, and with tho throo eggs In six halves on a dish. "I nm sorry, sir," sho said, nnd her light soprano volco trembled, "but theso eggs woro already boiled as hard an thoy could bo when I broko them," and sho placed them on tho tablo In front of,tho Irnto bachelor. Ho smolled n rat right away, and ho loft tho tnblo at once and started out to verify his suspicions. His Investigations wero finished by tho middle of tho forenoon, nnd what ho found out wns thlsi A married friend of his, who lived in tho houso whero tho bachelor had bis lodgings, Is a practical Joker of tho first order. Ho had taken nil of tho eggs to his kitchen, lxl!cd them as hard a ho could, and then placed them back in tho bachelor's basket "It's nil right," said tho bachelor to another friend, "but I'll lay for him with a. trick that'll mako him hato himself llko Baton for a year and a half." Now York Sun. A Sinnrt Hoy nnd Ills Grandpapa. -Life. They Are Sensitive. "You've lost him for good this timo," said tbo boss barber to ono of hit shavers as a customer went out and slammed tho door bo bind him. "Yes, but I forgot." "That's no oxciiso. If you can't attond te business you must co." "What Is tho troublol" queried a reporter of tho bo "Ho didn't brush tho roan's head." "But bis bead was us bald as a bone." "Certainly, and that's why bo should have brushed It, Bald headed men are vory sensi tive, you must use tbo brush tho samo as if thoy had plenty of hair. To do so gives them An Idea that you don't tako particular notice of their buldiiets." "Ami. won't Hint man rc'turnf" "Never, llo'll try somo other shop next time, and wil even advise bis frlonds to keep away from here,? Detroit Free Press. 9 d am I J t fpjjL taCifc.wjaflSsJlvJ 1' ssssssssssssH JsQHlskVlsssssssssssssssssBWaisBHsssi 4 EaflssflHH 1mmWml8mWSmKm)$ JVH J0kiMiMh mmmWWWmmrSmmm,si'x 21Sassss1SMSar1SilMsTMsTSMSSMSa,LftS;-gf?in?w flsssfBfliBsWJ3n!IBatMsaHsHs'LvSD V BaBBBBTHIBSBTBTxBSalflBplnSsaBBBfVr- FsWIllslslaiHI fajffi Mistral HtmmihssW ;! ssBNIIKstiliK Hates reiiKonublo. hertliing now mid complete. Prompt sen Ire and the beet menu In Oinnlin. Hot mid cold water In uery room. Ofllco nnd dining hnll on flrst floor. All mod ern Improvements. MiicolnttcH nlwnys receive in nrdlnl welcome. Call nml si o us while In Omaha. You can get Into the curs nt depot nnd tnko HAHXKY ST., CAI1M: LINE UIllKCT TO Tim 1)0011. Cor. mil nnd Harney. InA P. Hioiiy. Clerk. . 8ILL0WAY, IToprletor. Jrn " ' Buggies, Carriages or Saddle Horses, Cnn be had nt nnv lie, Day or Night, on short notice. Horses Boarded and w. .. taken care of at Reasonable Rates Call and see us, 102 Q street, or give all orders by Telephone 147. A BEAUTIFULLY UPHOLSTERED RECLINING CHAIR that Is the very embodiment of ease nnd luxury; a friendly game of Whist, a choice volume from the well stocked library, n prom enade from car to car (the handsome vestibule excluding all dust, smoke, rain or wind, and thus rendering the promenade a de lightful nnd novel pastime). A sumptuous meal that comes In LHiVHiPsH1 the nick of time, nnd "just strikes the spot." The quiet enjoyment of a fragrant Ha vana In a charmingly decorated and gorgeous smoking apartment, nnd finally a peace ful sleep In a bed of snowy linen nnd downy LINGTON" ROUTE. What other line advantages? NOT ONE. Please remember this when next you travel. Information of all kinds pertain ing to Railroad or Ocean Steam ship Tickets promptly answered. G. W. HOLDREGE, Gen'l Mgr., J. FRANCIS, G. P. and T. A., OMAHA, NEB. ' Milwaukee 'tBMJl Owns nnd operates 5.500 miles of thoroughly aulppcrf road In Illinois, Wisconsin, Iown, Missouri, Minnesota and Dakota. ,, ., It Is tho Host Direct llouto botwwn nil the Priuclpul Points In tho Northwest, Southwest snd Fur West For maps, tlmo tables, rates of nassago and freight, etc., apply to nenrest statfon agent ol C'lllCAOO, MllwAUXKK & HT. PAUL 1UJL way, or to any ltnllroad Agent nnywhoro In H.MILLEn. A. V. II. CAItPENTEK, General MV'r. Gen'l Pass. AT'kt Agt. I 11U IP. GEO. II. HEAFKOUD, W.Gen' Mgr. Asst. O. P. &'V. Agt, Milwaukee Wisconsin. J5-For Information In reference to J.ands aiuPI'owns owned by tho Chicago, Milwau kee A St. Paul Hallway Uompnny.wrte to II. O. H AUOAN.lJiiid CommloHlonor.Mlllwnukeo W'lBconln. Shortest : and : Safest : Route TO AM. POINTS IN II Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, California, Mon tana, Idaho, Oiegon nnd Washington Territory. Tuko tho OVERLAND FLYER And save one day to nil Pacific coast points, THE UNION PACIFIC Kunnlng Into union depots nndoon metlnir with fast limited train, o ,'"'' poinis euKi, wesi, nui i" . ..... ;,""" tlokets nud modern day eonehes. llaggago iwuo.i iiirnnuh tndostlnntlon from nil points east In the 1 HUH.... ....-- r-- ; ,...:.. i ,.., ut lie Uniieu niuieaiiiiviiui. d. ileopor ...n.t..tii,,iu raArvi.il lii thrmitfh Pullman Psluco cars from tho Missouri ifver lotho Pu elflo const. K. U. BIA78SON, City Puss, nnd Ticket Agt 1M4 O BTIIEKT. LINCOLN BRANCH OF Max Meyer & Bro,, Wholessls snd Retail Dealers In PIANOS ORGANS Oonornl western nonls for tho f teln way, Kuiihe, Chlekcrlug, Voso, Krnst Onbler, Hehr llros., Now by ft Kvaus, nnd Merlin. I'lnr.ns marked In plnlu fljrures prices nlwnys tho lowest for tho grmio of plnnoa. C. M. HANDS, Manager. 142 North lltli Street. .the MURRAY Omaha's Leading Hotel. Opened Sept. 1, 1888. Mnest Hotel in the West FINEST LIYERY RIGS In the City nil come from the Graham Brick Stables 1027 Q STREET, Where all Idnds of softness. Such Is life on the "UUR- or combination of lines can offer you these My superior ad vantages enable me to ticket to and from Europe at the lowest rates and to secure desirable cabins In advance of sailings. The generous patronngc accorded me by prominent people of Omaha, Lincoln nnd other Nebraska cities attest the popular ity of this office. -4st4UL City .Passenger and Ticket, Agt., LINCOLN NEB, Fremont, Elkhorn & Mo. Valley E2T"Operntct. and con trols Its own service between IUI!l'aHJUMJ LINCOLN, NEB., and OMAHA, CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE, SIOUX CITY MINNEAPOLIS and ST. PAUL. tXT Through Tickets and Ilaggago Checked to all points In United States and Canadu. Vestibule Sleepers, Palatini Dining Cars and Union Depots. CITY TICKET OFFICE : 1 15 South 10th street, - Lincoln GEO. N, FOKESMAN, Agent. II, 0. Ill'ItT, J, It. IlUCHANAK, General M'ger, Gen'l Pass. Ag't OMAHA. NE11. Roberts & Co, 212 North nth Street, Undertakers andEmbalmers, Telephones. Office 145. Reblilence Open D.iy nnd Night. .56. E. T. ROBERTS, j I can cheerfully rccomtneiia nr Beth Arnold's Cough Killer belmraflrst-ehus remeilv r Coughs and Colds, liav- I Incused It In my own family with very crcatsatisfactlon. U II. Uush. Des Moines. Iowa. Draf gtau; Me;, BOe., and 11.00. .""Op-o r s V f V 1 rC H mMW3alLmJ SSMSSi lilisH WKIMHrilSWy