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CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, MARCH 30, 1889.
1
.
P."
H'
i&
HEYMAH & DEICHES,
1M8-IM0 l-'Arnnni Ml., Wow PaxIoii Block,
On-i-XuS-, - ZLnTibib
THE LAMEST
CLOAK,
SUIT and FUR HOUSE,
In The West
We nro now Introducing ninny now novel.
11m In (spring nnd Hummer Wear, nml re-
Invito our Lincoln friend to onll
and oo tho now lino Jiistopoucd.
ARE DIRECT IMPORTERS
AivJ am Much onn offer Inter styles ut lowor
price tlinn any hmiso writ of Chicago u fact
we'll 1110 pleasure, in proving io itiiicoiimes,
CALL AMD SEE US WHEN IM OMAHA.
Wo can rtnw you n tin lino of Clonks,
Dresses uiur Fur thnt lurpasn anything yon
have over soon In the entire west, It will pity
you to tako a trip lo Omnlm to see u, If you
want anything nlco Inonr line.
Kill Orders Receive Prompt Attention.
ss:
iimrmi
PRINCIPAL POINTS
EAST, WEST,
NOlJH and SOUTH
-s J V
-JV.T-
1044 O STREET.
FAST MAIL ROUTE !
Igffitt
VUSv 0NSAU
sssVsssssssFssiXsf'vBV
2 DAILY TRAINS 2
-TO
AtchUon, Leavenworth, St.Joscph.Kansas
City, St. Louis nnd all points South,
East and West.
The direct line to Ft. Scott, Parsons.
Wichita, Hutchinson and nil principal
points In Kansas.
The only road to the Great Hot Springs
of Arkansas. Pullman Slkkpers and
Fkee Reclininq Ciiaik Cars m all
trains ,
lCIAHl, HP.Jt.MlLUI,
Cky Tkt Af cnt, Gen'l Agent.
Cw.Oand ilthSts.
HEn LITTLE POEM.
Conlldlng vTI( Gives llrr Husband a
Genuine Murprl.
'I tinil not Intended to toll you, MlHger,"
Midi tin young. vlfo of Mr McHwnt, "but I
rn n't keep a wvrot Any longer,"
'Ik it ikmMIjIo, lbelln," exclaimed WHIgcr,
mrrediiloiisly, "Hint ou Imvo boonnhloto
ki'in secret At nlir
"It Is. And you would novor rucm It,
either r
"lleen making men dressing gown or an
imhmlderod night enpf"
"No."
"You Imvcn't been running up a bill nt
HotoAli S: Co. V lio Inquired, with n suspi
cious look And a cold fooling In tho region of
bli spine,
"Uue ngnln."
"Ikvn (Aklug lessons nt A cooking school P
ha Aiikvil, paling Vint lily,
"Na Uuosa Agnln."
A clammy perspiration broko out All over
lilui And ho loAiuilAgiiliut tno mniitol forsup-
UOrt AN hOgllodl
"Lobelia, In Aunt Jubtlou coming to spend
tho summer with tisf"
Tho young wlfo laughed gleefully
"No,"iho answered. "You'll havo to try
gAln, llllllgor "
"Toll mo what It Is," ho snld, with re turn
big self coinmnnd. "1 fool iu If 1 could stand
Any disclosure now."
"1 think you'ro real moAii, llllllgor, but 1
will toll you. A llttlo ooin of initio Is going
to bo published In tho nozt Century Magn
slno." "Whowl"
(This U tho tltno honored way In which a
long, low whlstlo of astonishment has nlwnys
liecn represented In print by tho most suo
coKHftil wrcstlors with tho lAnguago, from tho
Uld Mnstcrs down to II. Illdor MnggArd. Tho
render, theroforo, will kindly understand
that Mr Illlliger McHwnt gnvo uttonuico to
Along, low whlstlo.)
"In tho tlayi of our courUhlp, Lololla," ho
continued, staring hard nt tho celling, "you
never told mo you wroto pootry. 1 didn't
know you woro Addlctod to It, or"-
"(Jr wlmtl" tho Uomandod, with tomo As
perity "Nothing iiotlilngi" ho oxclnlmed.hAstlly.
"And to you nro to havo a contribution In
tho next Century I How much I tho editor
to pay you for It, Lobelia T
"1 don't know. 1 haven't hoard from him
you"
"Then how do you know ho Is going to
print Itr"
"How do I knowl Docnuno ho hasn't re
turned it I eut it to hint nearly two weeks
ago."
"01 You did I You Inclosed stamps for re
turn postago, of coursol"
"Why, no, DUllgor. 1 novor thought of
that Is It customary T'
"Ur-nol That Is, not Always," replied the
young husband, niAstoring bis emotion by a
desperate effort. "It probably wasn't neces
sary In tho caso of your poem, Lobelia. And
you havo saved at least two conUI"
Mrs. McHwat was not exactly sure whether
bo was In earnest or not. Bho looked at him
with some suspicion, but his countenance
wore that look of unearthly gravity and Inno
cence that may sometimes bo seen on the face
of a boy at school Just after ho bod rolled a
doublo handful of bird shot over the floor.
"Lobelia," he said, after a pause, "you
haven't spoken of this this poem of yours
that is or ah going to be printed nest
month to auybody elso besides mo, havo your'
"No."
"Then don't do It, Lobelia," he said. "If
you can manage to hold in till tho poem la
printed, which" - and Bllllger held his
handkerchief to his face and coughed convul
sively in It for a few momenta "which will
be only two weeks longer, you know It will
bo all tho greater surprise to everybody. And
when that pootn is printed In tho magoxlno,
my dear, I'll make you a present of a pair of
diamond earrings."
The trusting young wlfo pillowed her head
on his bosom In an ecstasy of gratltudo, and
as BUIigor McHwat smoothed bor goldon hair
and murmured Iu her oar soft assurances of
his willingness to bankrupt himself, If neces
sary, hi order to glvo her costly presents as a
token of his prtdo and admiration as soon as
the poem appeared he could feel himself
growing moaner, and smallor," and more' de
spicable every moment
O young wives) ' Bo warned in time.
When temptations to write poetry for the
magazlnca Assail your souls do not yield. Re
sist them- It Is a terrible thing to do any
thing that causes young husbands to feel
themselves growing smaller than they are
akvmlyl Extract from "Frightful Warn
ings of History," from the French of Dennis
Malcahy. Chicago Tribune.
A 'Green Lot.
Among toe personal effects of a fakir ar
rested the other day on complaint of a hotel
for non-payment of board was a wheel of for
tune, and while detectives were examining
this with a great deal of curiosity one of
them found a bidden spring which was
worked by pressing a button.
"What Is this fori" bo Innocently asked.
"To stop the wheel at any doslred point,"
was tho answer.
."But why should you desire to stop It at
any certain potntr
"Why should II Suppose that a John
Heury has laid his dollar on tho flgure 7.
The pointer stops at that flgure and bo wins."
"But do you stop It there 1"
"Certolnly.'
"To let him wlnf
"Of course."
"1-1"
"No, of course you don't, but I do. Next
timo thoro aro from four to eight John
Henrys with their dollars at '7,' and the
pointer stops at 8. Sorry for you, gontlo
men, but if you haven't traveled It's not my
fnult" Dotrolt Froo Press.
Easily Remedied.
Jackson (colored) Hain't yo' nobcr read
dat In nil do railroad accidents do rcah ci
am alius do ono dat am smashed up do wu'stl
Sawbones Den why doan' doy lenbo do
rcah ca' off do train! Philadelphia Press.
Irate Father Young man, I am amosed,
astounded, sir, that you should seek to marry
my daughter on so short an acquaintance.
You are almost a stranger tber.
Tha Vnun U.n Wall. ahadont take SDT
ore chaceee thai" I da ' bWs almost a
more
stranger to me, too,-PhlUdapla Record.
An Kveu Thine.
A John on the Crowd,
tlfld Noned Man I At a Clark street resort fre
quented prlncllly by actors) I want a good
IcAilIng man for a now play If I can get tho
right man I'll glvo him lfOn week.
A general rush nnd chorus of "I'm your
nAU." "TAko mo," "I'vo plAyod with Booth,"
etc
Ibxl Nowd Mnn Not so fAst You mny
not want tho part It's n tank drama, Ands
the lending man has to stay under water ten
iiilnuton. Chlcngo Herald.
A Natural (Jiintlon.
Miss Hello (wnrnlngly) Sally, thoy usod
lo tell mo, when 1 wasn llttlo girl, that if I
ild not lot coireo nlono it would mako mo
foolish.
Bally (who owes her otic) Well, why didn't
youf Llfo.
WORKING A HOG.
.
The Wlmlo Tumi Caught the Idea When
It Was Tiki I-iito.
When I entered tho vlllago, situated among
tho hills of Now York, At 10 o'clock In tho
morning, nil was oacofu! and soreno, nnd tho
Iiocket of ovory mnn who wnlkcd tho streets
lad chink in It When I left, nt4 p, in,, aii
excited mob hnd posnoxslon of tho main street
nnd every other mnn was dead broke.
About noon n mnn arrived from tho north
in a buggy. Ho said ho was n drover and
looking for hogs. Ho bought half n dozen bo
foro ho Ato dinner, nnd It was astonishing
how clowly ho gucraed nt their livo weight
Ha was within two pounds on four of thorn
nnd only half a pound moro on tho others.
Thcso had been nu attraction for n crowd of
Idlors, and thogenoral verdict wns thnt tho
drover was as slinrpiu n barlwr's razor. Boon
after dinner a fanner looking boy drovo a
hog Into town and staked him out in front of
tho tavern. As ho wnnted to sell and tho
drover wnnted to buy, thoy soon camo to
gether. "Might tako him on a pinch, but bo's only
a nubbins," said tho drover as ho sized tho
porker up.
"Nubblnsl Why, thnt pig goes over SOO
pounds!" exclaimed tho owner.
"Can't stuff mo, boy. I'vo been In tho
business twenty years."
"No ono wants to stuff. Thnt 'cro bog goes
to 210,"
"Ho does, eh I Wish your father had como
In. I'd Uko to mado a Lot with him. Boy,
you ought to havo better Judgment That
Log won't pull down 180."
"Guess you aro off, too," remarked a
strnn.T who bad quietly driven up in a
buggy "I've raised hogs all my life, and
that boy hain't flvo pounds out of his guess."
"Ain't hoi Raised bogs, have youl Ever
raise any monoyl"
"A little."
"Perhaps you'd like to bet on that bogl
"Pcrhaj"
"Havo you got 190 as says he goes 0001"
"I havo fifty a hundred I"
"Then let's chalk. Anybody can blow."
It was a chance to make a dollar, and the
citizens Improved It The man In tho buggy
was an accommodating chap, and somehow
or other the farmer-boy managed to Ush lup
about a hundred dollars from tho bind pockot
of his overalls. Tho citizens stuck by tho
drover, having abundant proofs of his Judg
ment, and when every man In that town who
had a loose dollar or could borrow one hod
mado his tct tho hog was driven to tho scales
and weighed.
"Gentlemen," sold the drover Just before
the weighing, "1 was never deceived In my
life. This hogwon't go to ISO pounds."
"I'll take oven bets that ho goes over 900,"
replied tho man In the buggy.
This bluff raked out the last nickel In the
crowd, and the hog was driven upon the
scales. The record was 211 pounds. He was
weighed and rewelghed, but the figures
stood.
"Well, it's my first error in a hog," said tho
drover, and all bets were at once handed over.
The farmer noy slipped out, tno two tnon
drove off In tho buggy, and half an hour bad
elapsed before a church deacon, who had laid
bis ten wllti tno urover ana lost, suddenly
declared that It was a put up Job to skin the
town.
"Durn my buttons If It hain't I" yelled 300
mon in chorus, but It was too lata. Tho town
had been skinned, and tbo trio hod escaped.
All tho mob could do was to turn Ioomj and
wreck au old vinegar factory And pass a res
olution to tho effect that liberty was a sham
and a delusion. Now York Bun.
Tho tllshop and the noy.
"What are you doing hero, my IndP
"Tending swine, sir." "How much do you
gotl" "Ono florin a week, sir," "I also Am
a shepherd," continued tho bishop, "but I
havo a much iwtter salary." "Thut may bo,
but thon 1 supxMo you havo moro hogs under
yourcaro." Tho shepherd was about retir
ing when tbo boy continued! "Bay, can Uod
do anything I" "Yes, my boy " "Can ho
mako a 'J-ycar-old colt In two minutes!"
"Why," said tho ostoulshcd bishop, "he
would not wish to do that, my boy." "But
If bo did want to, could hoT'lnsUtcdtho boy,
"Yes, certainly, if ho wished to." "Whatl
In two minutcsr" "Yes, iu two minutes."
"Well, then, bo wouldn't be "J years old,
would tie I" Tho bishop collapsed. Phila
delphia Press.
A Slean ftlun.
Goodfollow Lend mo n dollar, Jack,
Close fellow You had a dollar In your
pocket not twenty minutes ago
"I know, but 1 dropud Into tho Dowdrop
Inn to get a froo lunch and met n croud of
friends there, nud of couno I had to treat,
and it took all I had."
"Well, 1 don't feel llko lending you any
thing. I can't sparo It"
"Why, you bad a dollar and a quarter In
your pockot boforo you went out, and as you
never pay over twcnty-flvo centa for your
lunch, you must havo a dollar loft If thoto
la anvtblng 1 dcoiilso it Is a mean man."
Philadelphia Record.
How She Dlstlnffulshed Her Ties.
An old lady who lived In a New England
town baked a mince and apple pio ovcry
Saturday But after they woro baked thoy
woro as bivd as tho "Two uromios'-uouoay
know which was which. She was not lack
ing, bowovor. In tho fcrtllo ingenuity of her
sex, and "Now," who triumphantly oxctalmed,
"I don't have no more troublo, Vauw 1 Just
mark with my crust cutter on the mince pie
T, M.' ('tis mlncei, and on the apple pie 'T.
M.' (taint mlnce."-Phlladelphla Press.
THE BACHELOR'S EGG9.
II Tried lo net Ttiem United Soft,
bat
Tbny Cnme Out Htono Hard.
A Bcrntiton bachelor, who boards nt ono of
tho hotels nnd rooms outsldo, got so tired of
eating stnlo eggs n while Ago thnt ho thought
ho would seo If ho couldn't chaugo tho pro
grnmmon llttlo. Bo ho bought throo dozon
now laid eggs and took them to his lodging,
and when howentto ten thnt night ho carried
a couple, of tho eggs In his ockot nnd told
tho pleasant faced waiter girl to linvo them
boiled soft Thoy enmo back ns hnrd as rocks,
And tho bachelor boarder declared that no
ono In thnt kltchon know enough to boll an
egg. Tho huudsomo waiter girl said sho was
sorry that tho cook hadn't douo ns sho hnd
ordered her to, nnd sho volunteered to hnvo
two other eggs boiled soft, but tho boArdcr
told bor sho needn't Tho noxt morning ho
took two moro eggs over to tho hotel nnd
gnvo special directions ns to how thoy should
bo boiled, nnd ho had to swear when ho
oicnod them, for thoy wero ns hard ns baso
bnlls. At stimier that night ho took throo eggs,
got nnothcr girl lo tnko his orders, nnd gavo
thosnmo directions. Result! Thrco eggs ns
unyielding ns bullots. Tho bachelor cild ho
guessed It was tltno for him to change his
boarding plneo, nnd ho uttered other unpleas
knt remarks regarding tho Interior manage
ment of tho culinary department of tho
houso. But ho was on Imnd tho noxt morn
ing, nnd ho had thrco nlco largo fresh eggs In
his pockot Calling his favorite waiter girl,
ho said i
"Now, 1 want you to open thcso eggs, drop
thorn iu hot wntcr and poach them very soft,
nnd, my dear, I want you to stand by thorn
nnd seo thnt thoy ato cooked right"
Bho said sho would and uwny sho went, but
tnnmlnutoor so sho roturued looking sad,
and with tho throo eggs In six halves on a
dish.
"I nm sorry, sir," sho said, nnd her light
soprano volco trembled, "but theso eggs woro
already boiled as hard an thoy could bo when
I broko them," and sho placed them on tho
tablo In front of,tho Irnto bachelor.
Ho smolled n rat right away, and ho loft
tho tnblo at once and started out to verify his
suspicions. His Investigations wero finished
by tho middle of tho forenoon, nnd what ho
found out wns thlsi A married friend of his,
who lived in tho houso whero tho bachelor
had bis lodgings, Is a practical Joker of tho
first order. Ho had taken nil of tho eggs to
his kitchen, lxl!cd them as hard a ho could,
and then placed them back in tho bachelor's
basket
"It's nil right," said tho bachelor to another
friend, "but I'll lay for him with a. trick
that'll mako him hato himself llko Baton for a
year and a half." Now York Sun.
A Sinnrt Hoy nnd Ills Grandpapa.
-Life.
They Are Sensitive.
"You've lost him for good this timo," said
tbo boss barber to ono of hit shavers as a
customer went out and slammed tho door bo
bind him.
"Yes, but I forgot."
"That's no oxciiso. If you can't attond te
business you must co."
"What Is tho troublol" queried a reporter
of tho bo
"Ho didn't brush tho roan's head."
"But bis bead was us bald as a bone."
"Certainly, and that's why bo should have
brushed It, Bald headed men are vory sensi
tive, you must use tbo brush tho samo as if
thoy had plenty of hair. To do so gives them
An Idea that you don't tako particular notice
of their buldiiets."
"Ami. won't Hint man rc'turnf"
"Never, llo'll try somo other shop next
time, and wil even advise bis frlonds to keep
away from here,? Detroit Free Press.
9 d
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Hates reiiKonublo. hertliing now mid complete. Prompt sen Ire and the beet menu In
Oinnlin. Hot mid cold water In uery room. Ofllco nnd dining hnll on flrst floor. All mod
ern Improvements. MiicolnttcH nlwnys receive in nrdlnl welcome. Call nml si o us while In
Omaha. You can get Into the curs nt depot nnd tnko HAHXKY ST., CAI1M: LINE
UIllKCT TO Tim 1)0011. Cor. mil nnd Harney.
InA P. Hioiiy. Clerk. . 8ILL0WAY, IToprletor.
Jrn " '
Buggies, Carriages or Saddle Horses,
Cnn be had nt nnv lie, Day or Night, on short notice.
Horses Boarded and w. .. taken care of at Reasonable Rates
Call and see us, 102 Q street, or give all orders by
Telephone 147.
A BEAUTIFULLY UPHOLSTERED RECLINING CHAIR
that Is the very embodiment of ease nnd luxury; a friendly game
of Whist, a choice volume from the well stocked library, n prom
enade from car to car (the handsome vestibule excluding all dust,
smoke, rain or wind, and thus rendering the promenade a de
lightful nnd novel pastime). A sumptuous meal that comes In
LHiVHiPsH1
the nick of time, nnd "just strikes the spot." The quiet enjoyment of a fragrant Ha
vana In a charmingly decorated and gorgeous smoking apartment, nnd finally a peace
ful sleep In a bed of snowy linen nnd downy
LINGTON" ROUTE. What other line
advantages? NOT ONE. Please remember this when next you travel.
Information of all kinds pertain
ing to Railroad or Ocean Steam
ship Tickets promptly answered.
G. W. HOLDREGE, Gen'l Mgr.,
J. FRANCIS, G. P. and T. A.,
OMAHA, NEB.
' Milwaukee
'tBMJl
Owns nnd operates 5.500 miles of thoroughly
aulppcrf road In Illinois, Wisconsin, Iown,
Missouri, Minnesota and Dakota. ,, .,
It Is tho Host Direct llouto botwwn nil the
Priuclpul Points In tho Northwest, Southwest
snd Fur West
For maps, tlmo tables, rates of nassago and
freight, etc., apply to nenrest statfon agent ol
C'lllCAOO, MllwAUXKK & HT. PAUL 1UJL
way, or to any ltnllroad Agent nnywhoro In
H.MILLEn. A. V. II. CAItPENTEK,
General MV'r. Gen'l Pass. AT'kt Agt.
I 11U IP. GEO. II. HEAFKOUD,
W.Gen' Mgr. Asst. O. P. &'V. Agt,
Milwaukee Wisconsin.
J5-For Information In reference to J.ands
aiuPI'owns owned by tho Chicago, Milwau
kee A St. Paul Hallway Uompnny.wrte to II.
O. H AUOAN.lJiiid CommloHlonor.Mlllwnukeo
W'lBconln.
Shortest : and : Safest : Route
TO AM. POINTS IN
II
Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, California, Mon
tana, Idaho, Oiegon nnd Washington
Territory. Tuko tho
OVERLAND FLYER
And save one day to nil Pacific coast points,
THE UNION PACIFIC
Kunnlng Into union depots nndoon metlnir
with fast limited train, o ,'"''
poinis euKi, wesi, nui i" . ..... ;,"""
tlokets nud modern day eonehes. llaggago
iwuo.i iiirnnuh tndostlnntlon from nil points
east In the 1
HUH.... ....-- r-- ; ,...:.. i ,.., ut
lie Uniieu niuieaiiiiviiui. d.
ileopor
...n.t..tii,,iu raArvi.il lii thrmitfh Pullman
Psluco cars from tho Missouri ifver lotho Pu
elflo const.
K. U. BIA78SON, City Puss, nnd Ticket Agt
1M4 O BTIIEKT.
LINCOLN BRANCH OF
Max Meyer & Bro,,
Wholessls snd Retail Dealers In
PIANOS ORGANS
Oonornl western nonls for tho f teln
way, Kuiihe, Chlekcrlug, Voso, Krnst
Onbler, Hehr llros., Now by ft Kvaus, nnd
Merlin.
I'lnr.ns marked In plnlu fljrures prices
nlwnys tho lowest for tho grmio of plnnoa.
C. M. HANDS, Manager.
142 North lltli Street.
.the
MURRAY
Omaha's Leading Hotel.
Opened Sept. 1, 1888.
Mnest Hotel in the West
FINEST LIYERY RIGS
In the City nil come from the
Graham Brick Stables
1027 Q STREET,
Where all Idnds of
softness. Such Is life on the "UUR-
or combination of lines can offer you these
My superior ad vantages enable me to
ticket to and from Europe at the lowest rates
and to secure desirable cabins In advance of
sailings. The generous patronngc accorded
me by prominent people of Omaha, Lincoln
nnd other Nebraska cities attest the popular
ity of this office.
-4st4UL
City .Passenger
and Ticket, Agt.,
LINCOLN NEB,
Fremont, Elkhorn & Mo. Valley
E2T"Operntct. and con
trols Its own service
between
IUI!l'aHJUMJ
LINCOLN, NEB., and
OMAHA, CHICAGO,
MILWAUKEE, SIOUX CITY
MINNEAPOLIS and ST. PAUL.
tXT Through Tickets and Ilaggago Checked to
all points In United States and Canadu.
Vestibule Sleepers, Palatini Dining Cars and
Union Depots.
CITY TICKET OFFICE :
1 15 South 10th street, - Lincoln
GEO. N, FOKESMAN, Agent.
II, 0. Ill'ItT, J, It. IlUCHANAK,
General M'ger, Gen'l Pass. Ag't
OMAHA. NE11.
Roberts & Co,
212 North nth Street,
Undertakers andEmbalmers,
Telephones. Office 145. Reblilence
Open D.iy nnd Night.
.56.
E. T. ROBERTS,
j
I can cheerfully rccomtneiia
nr Beth Arnold's Cough
Killer
belmraflrst-ehus remeilv
r Coughs and Colds, liav-
I Incused It In my own family
with very crcatsatisfactlon.
U II. Uush. Des Moines.
Iowa.
Draf gtau; Me;, BOe., and 11.00.
.""Op-o
r s
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