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CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1889.
W
UHPRECfcLKRTED ATTRACTION
Over a Million Distributed.
Louisiana State Lottery Comp'y.
Incorporated by tho Lonliilatiiro In IBM for
Kducailonnl niidChnrltnblo piirporo, nnd Its
frniichlRO miulo n jmrt of tho iircwnl utato
conntltutloti In 1871) by nn overwhelming, pop
ular voto.
Its Mammoth Drawings take place
Semi Annually ( June and Decern'
bcr), and Its Grand Single Number Draw.
Ings take nlncc In each of the other ten
months of the year, and arc all drawn In
public, at the Academy of Music, New
Orleans, La.
FAMED FOR TWENTY YEARS,
For Integrity of Its Drawings, and
Prompt Payment of Prizes.
AttOHtod ns Follows!
"Wo do lioroby certify thnt wo siiporvlno
tho nrrnngomonts for ull tho Monthly and
Hoinl-Annunl Drawings of Tho iAHilslnna
State Loltary Company, and -in person innn
nffo and control tho Drnwlnic tlioinsolvcH.
nnd that tho samo nro conducted with lion
osty, rnlrncss, nml In Rood faith toward nil
parties, and wo niithorlxo tho Cot.ipany to uso
this cortlllcnto. with fno-slmllles of our sluna
vros nttaahod, In Its ndvorltsumonts."
Commissioners.
Wo, tho undorslRtiod llnnks nnd Ilnnkors
111 pny all prison drawn In tho Louisiana
Htnto i.ottorluH, which may bo prciwntcil at
ouroountors.
It. M. WAIjMBIiRV. l'rcs't Tiulsann Nat ll'k
I'IKltltK l.ANAUX, Pros.Htnto National ll'lc
A. IIAIiDWIN, l'rcs. Now Orloiius Natl Hank
OAHL KOHN. I'rcs. Union National Hank
GRAND MONTHLY DRAWING
At the Aaadtmy of Mule, New Orleans,
loeiday,,Aprtl 10, 1889.
Capital Prize, $300,000.
100.000 Tickets nt 20; Hnlvcs 110; Quarters
3j Tenths 2; Twentieth
I.1HTOF 1M1IZKS.
llMUZKOPliUW.OOOIs f100.00o
1 lItI.KOKino,Ol)ls 100,000
1IMU.KOP M),()U)IS 60,000
liMtiZK ok 2.1.U00IH 25,00a
2 lMUZKH OF" 10,000 aro 20,000
f IMtI7.ES OK r.000aro 33,(XW
STiIMtl.KrtOK l.OOOnro 2S,000
100 1MM7.KH OK COOiiru ,000
200 IMII7.KH OK IHQnro ,Oil
imi'UIZKHUK 200 aro 100,000
APIMIOXIMATION FllIZKH.
100 Prizes of$VX)aro 50,000
loo do. nooare no.ooo
100 do. 200aro 20,000
TKHMINAt. riUZKH.
m do. 100 aro .00,000
909 do. lOOaro .99.000
3,131 Prizes, amounting to $1,051,800
Notk Tlokots drnwlnfr Capital Prizes aro
not entitled to Terminal Prizes.
Ctr-Kor club Hates or any otlior doslrcil
Information, wrlto lcclbly to tho uudorslKued,
cloarly Httitlwr your rcHldenco, with State,
County, Htreot and Number. Morn rapid re
turn mall delivery will bo assured by your on.
closing an Envclopo bearing your full ad
dress. Hond POSTAL NOTES, Express Monoy Or
dow, or Now York Kxchanico In ordinary lot
tor. Hond currency by Express (at our ox
penso) oddrossod M. A. DAUPHIN,
New Orleans, 1m.
Or M. A. DAUPHIN,
Washington, D. C.
Address Registered Letters to
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL DANK.
Now Orleans, La.
REMEMDEIl that tho payment of tho
Prl7.es Is guaranteed by Kour National Hanks
of Now Orleans, and tho tickets nro signed by
'tho Presldontofnn Institution, whoso char
to rod rights nro recogntzetl In tho highest
courts; therefore, bewnro of, all Imitations or
anonymous sohomes.
ONE DOLLAR. Is thoprlcoof tho smallont
part or fraction ora ticket IH3UED HV UH
'In any drawing. Anything In our namo of
fered for loss than a Dollar Is n swindle.
HAGENOW&ASGHMANN,
Philharmonic Orchestra
AND
MILITARY BAND,
Room io, Opera House Block
J. II. W. HAWKINS,
ARCHITECT AMD SUPERINTENDENT,
Dulldlngs completed or In course of erection
from April 1, 1880:
llualaess block. O R ontgomerr, I ltd and N.
do do L W lillllngsler, Uth near N.
Restaurant (Odells) O K Montgomery, N near
Itesldence, J J ImhofT, J and lsJth.
do J D Macfarland, Q and 14th.
do John Zelinwg, IJ and 11th
do Albert Watklns. I) bet (HI, and 10th.
do Win M Leonanl. E bet 0th and 10th.
do K 11 Guthrie, 27th and N.
do J E Heed, M D, F bet 10th and 17th,
do L O M Ilaldwln, (I bet 18th and lBtb.
huJltarlMin building at Mllfnnl, Neb,
Flirt Haptlst church, 1 Ith and K streets,
ortuary ctuJel and receiving tomb at Wyuka
cemetery,
Ofllce
Rooms 33 and 34
Richards Bloolc
DR. A. NOWICKI,
Natural Mineral Water Core Institute,
1136 O STREET.
Mineral Water Impnrtod from Europe. AH
chronic diseases curod In six weeks. Female
complaints nnd Llvur, Kidney and Eyo dis
eases treated. Olllco hours: 0 to 12 a. m, and
- to 4 p, in.
HeilnK.Wallla
io .1 .act ailablicn
ma. la til pwii, by
Dltcfnff our mAc4Jnt
thtm. w hUI mim! rru id on
Ih. orl4.llt, .11 ttV l OOIII JOOK-
4mpu. iiio last-comor of
haw wlul k,l , ,,,i it.
Mjrnll "'v ""!
mnBj.oru irom umniin last
iDo'and had to nut uti IiIb
iy enough to cot homo. Now
tho tlckot and tho money to
tlnitvploco. Whnt lirlngs you In
f &y
flt
VranHw-flA
jiijit ,TttfBa
BBn"aw I '
fmSKff!o
'MP
rtttbur
it tt
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tpjt
BILL NYE'8 WOES.
flomi of ttia ClinntlMTiiinlds One Meets on
tlm llOHll.
I IimI n rery trying oxperlenco last week.
It was painful, but not fatal. I had boon
Iravollnf; nil tho night tmforo, nml fatlgtio
nnd brain fag iroro togothor flghtlnft for my
very oxlstonco, 1 got a room when I arrived
and retlixit to sock much needed rest, t hnd
Just retired, In fact, having carefully locked
tho door nnd left tho koy In tho lock thnt tho
curious could not look In through tho koyholo
nnd boo mo as I lay tliero nslecp nnd mnko n
$3,000 painting of mo.
Just then there wns a slight rattlo nt tho
door, such as you hoar when n chnmhcrmnld
attacks It with n ass koy nnd comes In tho
room to sweep holes in tho cnret nnd (111
your lungs full of debris. I smiled to myself,
for my own koy was In tho door, and I said
softly, ns 1 bathed my blushing features in
tho pillows "Ahnt nhnl yo cannot enter
now." But Bho continued to rnttlo nway with
her koy, and I soon saw, with horror, that
my own was beginning to ioso Its grip, nnd
Anally It fell to tho floor with a loud report,
having been pushed out of tho lock from tho
other sldo.
I can hardly doscrlbo tho liorror of my sit
uation. 1 thought of handing my Immlkcr
chlofs and perfumery over tho transom to
hor, and begging her, if sho hnd a mother or
auy othor relatives in whom sho hnd any con
fldonco whntovcr, to go away. I thought of
going to tho door and tolling her that wo had
better go through llfo as nearly as ixraiblo by
separate routes, and thnt I needed rest really
more thnn I did socloty, but I did not dnro to
got out of liod for fear tho door would open,
and I was wlso, for it did now burst oon, as
I had fenrod, and a tall girl In tho prlmo of
llfo, with flashing oyo and distended nostril,
canto into tho rcom. With n wild shriek I
covered my head with tho bedclothes, shud
dering till my tooth, which woro in n tumbler
of wntor near by, chattered together.
"Go away, you hntef ul thing," 1 said, "and
novcr, tiover como back again any more."
"But I want to chnngo them sheets," sho
said.
"do awny," I said again. "Even your
Tolco is hntcful In my sight. Tako my leau
tlful itoth Thomas sliver watch if yod will,
but, ohl go away, and heaven will rownrd
you ovon bottor than that."
Bho then slunk from tho room, but It was a
long ttmo beforo I could go to sleep. Even
then my dreams wero troubled and my mind
flllod with apprehension. I thought I was
being pursued by n red oyed unicorn with n
navy bluo stomach and a Chlucsa lantern
tied to his tall. I tried to shako him off, but
I could not. IIo led mo down Into tho in
fernal regions, nnd Insisted on showing mo
tho iron bndgo and tho high school, and
apoko of tho great progress of tho placo, and
said that they wero likely to got n now nnd
competing road In thero this summer; and
ho showed mo tho library and walked mo out
to tho fair grounds and down on tho lnko
shore, so that I could tako a sulphur bath,
and spoko of tho desirability of tho climate
for pcoplo with bronchial alTcctlons, and
wanted mo to speak of It in my letters to tho
press, and said ho would pay mo well for It.
Just then I heard a knock on my door. I
was so glad to havo anybody knock, instead
of picking tho lock, that I askod: "Who's
thorof" A rich, manly volco replied, "Mo."
I was glad to hear tho wclcomo volco of
ono of my own box, nnd so I undid tho door
for tho gentleman with great alacrity. Just
as I was bounding lightly back towards my
couch with a merry laugh, tho party strolled
into tho middlo of tho room boaring a small
but rare collection of clammy, mucilaginous
towols. Sho was a heavy set chamlierinaid
with terror cotter hair and a bass voice.
. I do not complain. I do not murmur, I do
not ropino. But I say that a chambermaid
ought not to do that way. A chambermaid
who has a bass volco ought to seek out soma
other calling. Bho may put a guest's slippers
so far under tho bed that hq cannot get them
without calling out tho hook and ladder com
pany. Bho may woep over his letters from
his wlfo, or drown her sorrows In his bay
rum, but sho ought not to tako n bass volco
Into a hotel and oxpoct to escapo criticism.
Mayor Weston, now of Grand Rapids, bo
foro ho becamo wealthy was a nowspapcr
man in Denver and usod to stop at tho old
Planters' hotel. IIo had a mining deal to
write ip for tho paper, and connected with
tho deal was a Oeorgotown superintendent
whom wo will address as Julius II. Cavvyo.
Mr. Cavvyo was to furnish tho particular! to
Mr. Weston, but early in tho day ho began to
sneot old acquaintances nnd to cement their
friendship by means of a powerful solution
known as embalming fluid.
Bo, at 11 o'clock, Mr. Weston put Julius
II. Cavvyo to rest on his own llttlo Ixsint tho
Planters' and went out to prosecute his re
searches in relation to tho Hold Up Mining
and Improvement company. Tho old Plaut
rs' hotel was not oxnetly llko tho Hodman
house or tho Ollsoy houso. You could tell
tho difference almost as soon as you sat down
at tho table. If you spoko to tho waiter
about tho tenacity of tho steak or tho longev
ity of tho butter, ho would you a tart roply,
and you would havo to get along with that
for dessert. Ono man murmured about tho
steak and said it was too tough, so therefore
ho would not eat it.
"You won't oat itf" calmly replied tho
looso jointed waiter. "You say you won't
oat itf"
"I say so becauso I can't cut It. No man
can cut that steak. You can't cut It with
acids. So I won't It."
"Well, you will oat it," said tho waiter,
reaching nround as if in tho act of adjusting
his bustlo. "You will eat it or I'll wear it
out on you I"
IIo ate it.
But amoug other things thero was n big
alarm bell In tho tower of tho Planters',
which was wont to ring for flres, funoralsnnd
other entertainments, Tho ropo hung In tho
hall and when tho help of tho populaco was
required In order to suppress a flro or n riot,
thoflrst mini to tho ImjII ropo saluted tho
snowy summits of tho Itocky mountains with,
this wild alarm.
Whilo Mr. Weston was getting his infor
mation on tho 6treots, tho great bell awoko
tho echoes in tho fastucsses of tho canyons
twenty miles away, and tho oxclted populaco
swarmed to tho Planters' to learn what great
calamity had Iwfnllon tho now city. Mr.
Weston got thero at last, and, out of breath,
a-ushod up to his room. In tho hall ho found
Julius H. Cavvyo ringing tho boll. Ills sus
penders wero draped nnd soapsuds wero drip
ping from his chin and tho tip of his Vcno
tlau red uoso.
"What has happened T panted Weston.
"What nro you ringing that boll for, Julius!"
"Well, what do you 8'ioso I'm ringing tho
Ik11 for? I nm ringing for a cloan towel or n
funoraL It I got tho towel thero will bo no
futoral, but If I fall, you junt wait hero a
minute and I'll give you tho llrst view of tho
oiiico ana wnr bright and racy paper." BI'Ui
tho Call for pfr Mention, u... x word
per day is tho oxikjiiso.
Austin, Scott Co., Iud., Feb. It), I88ii: I
havo given Chamberlalu'H Cough Henuxly n
thorough trial, and llud It to bo nil nml moio
than is claimed for It. I would not bo with
out it for double what it coots. Kiikii J,
Niuhoijj. Sold by A. L. Shuder, Druggist.
agygg?e?BEcactaBwg
A l'rtitty Ooml Nettteiiro.
Ono of tho greatest banra of a student's llf
Is thnt ho is obliged to write compositions,
says Tho New Haven Morning News. It Is
something looked tiKn as extra work, and Is
usually left until tho last minute. Then tho
student hurriedly collects tho sieeowiary data,
and In writing Is very apt to Introduco sen
tences from tho enoycloiodla.
Unfortunately It hnppcns thnt ono of tho
professors of English nt Yalo has written
Humorous article for tho encyclopedias. A
fow days ago this professor was reading over
a comiosltluii with Its author when ho canto
across a particularly finely constructed son
teneo, "That's a pretty good sentence," remarked
tho professior.
"Yes, I prided myself on thnt," replied tho
student.
"So did I when I wrote It," added tho pro
fessor, to tho great dlscomflturo of tho pupil.
A Failure.
"NO MOllK HOH3K BTSCAL1N TO It IIISI."
'HOW, BONNY, THIIKE MINUTKB TKlt SAY YEn
rilAYMW."
HE UAD TllAVELED WITH BAnNUM AB TUX
"SKUl'ENT NECKED WONIIEK."
-Llfo.
Ilenetlon.
Though young Jones was well and hoarty ho would
no'cr attend a party,
For ho said that social pleasure mado him weary,
weak and sore;
Not a whit cared ho for dancing, or a maiden all
entrancing.
What to others proved a treasure simply was to
him a bore.
IIo found llttlo consolation In tho art of conversa
tion, And all nature's wondrous beauty from bis care
less eyes was hid;
Music, painting could not ploaso him, and high art
would only teaso him,
So, as If from senso of duty, ho becamo an In
valid. DutI found ono great attraction that would rouso
him Into action
(He'd decl&ro ho was not sickly, such new
strength tipon him camo),
When with every indication that he'd reach bis
dwitl nation,
IIo would walk a tnllo so quickly, Just to Join a
poker gsmo.
Drake's Magazine
A Klnderirnrteii Series.
"Now, children," nftor reading tho old
story of Washington's exploit with his
hatchet, "wrlto mo all you can rcmombor of
that protty story I havo just road to you."
THE RESULT.
Slate I. (Toddy, 8 years old) Goorg Wash
intou Is our father did ho tell u Ho no ho
never did ho did it with Is hachlt
Slato II. (Ethel, 7) goorg washlnton was
tho father of is contro lies father sod did you
do it ho sod i wud not Ho i did it with mi
nathtt nnd then ho busted Is tecrs.
Slato III. (deorglo, 0) Oeorgo Washington
Is tho father of our country and ho did It
with his hatcblt and ho said father I did it
did tho boy deny it o no did ho try to put it
on so. other feller No IIo did not tell no llo
ho bus. into tears. Lifo.
A I'utul Mistake.
Bllffcrs What's wrong today, Bluffers!
You look blue.
Bluffers I'll novcr forgive myself. I
kicked a caller out of my houso last night.
"Huh I I'vo kicked out many a ono. Young
fcllOW, I 6Upi,Ksot"
"No; past middlo ago."
"Well, thoso old codgers havo no .business
to bo coming around sparking young girls. I
klcko-1 out ono of that sort last week."
"Yos; but I'vo found out this man wasn't
courting my daughter. Ho was after my
mothor-ln-law." Philadelphia Record.
Lived In a Hoarding Ilouse.
Doctor You say you havo a feeling of
distress after oatingf
Patlcntr-Yos.
Doctor What sort of a fooling?
Patient As if I hadn't had enough to cat.
Burlington Free Press.
Jutt tho Suinv,
The II. .. O.
Between mldn)Bo8tou You western t'lrk
March 4th, tho ll.sy. Do you know, I heard
Washington slxtjthu other day that sba
sengers, In nddltlotMi botli feet."
through travel. Kl'e; wo aro somowliat
noon of tho 4th untithlng, Is it truo that
equal number was en1 deficient of beauty
Allowing nil itvei ago,
car, including Bleephlv uot bo handsome;
Aturo wo arrive at ur
lour pedal xtremi
V
Txa5gag
"NOW, DOYS, ALL TOOETHKnt"
4tS
NAPOLEON WITH A PIGTAIL.
Slag You KipUlns Bomo Mysteries ot
Motion) llanklug,
Tho flight or Sing You, tho lato esteemed
cashier of Boo Bon A: Co., Chltioso bankers In
Chicago, with $18,000 belonging to doposltort,
oxclted all Chlnadom. Tho nows that Blng
You had apcarod In tho boodlors' colony In
Montreal oxcltod Chlnadom more Tho ro
colpt of tho following lotter yesterday by n
brother Celestial In Mott streot, this city,
gavo Chlnadom n oMtlvo thrill.
MONTLEAt, FKlinELALY TWO TLEE,
To Wun Lung, Mott stloot, Now Yorkoo,
from Blng Youi
Whooieol Mo, nllo sameo Mollcan sunn,
gotteo on tlnln, como Canada, cop no catcheo,
kooiico cash, gotteo dluuk, slngoo song, lniso
hollee, nlloo samco Ixxxllees, nil snuieo Eno,
nllo sniueo Mniidelbnum, nllo sameo Plado
(Pook-n-Uoo synopsoo, plngoo D), sio comoo
back alleo sameo Houly Ives, heap foolee.
You telleo mo you no unbboe makeo money,
Mo telleo you. You cateheo placo In batikco,
alleo samco ploHldeut, kooioo books, kcopoo
cash, jwiy lutlost. Heap lino bankoo, henpflno
safeo, heap big sign. Plenty heap Chinaman,
ho como.
Hop Ah Kin, he como, ho says "MlstaU
Dankco Plesldont, sno catcheo somo monoy
washy-washy, mnybo tleo handled dollalu
You keepeo him foil mol"
You say hitnt "Alloo light, mo koopeo
him." You tnkoo money. You glvoo lo
celpt. Wing Choo, ho como, ho says "Mlstah
Bakoo Plosldont, mo catcheo lllly monoy."
You say hlmi "How you gottuml"
Ho says "Mo catcheo butU In gutteo, mnko
heap fluo clgalottes."
You sny lilini "How muchoo monoy you
gotteo I"
Ho wy yout "Moo gottoo sobbonty dollali."
You say hlmi "Alloo light, mo sock him In
safoo, jioy you Intlost."
Moon Fuss, ho como, ho say youi "Mlstah
Ulankah, mo havo heap fat wad, you koejoo
him foh mo T'
You say hlmi "How fatl"
Ho soy yous "Wad bolly fat mora stoon
bundled dollnh."
You say hlmi "Mo plenty koopeo him In
safoo, heap pny intlest, you go catcheo somo
moro."
Alloo ChlnamMi thoy como, puttoo wad,
putteo boodlo, puttoo spondullx In safoo. You
catcheo blmeby mora llfty tousand dollali,
makeo you heap glad. Blmoby Chinaman
ho como, ho snys "Mnybo you glvo mo wad,
mo go back China." You say hlmi "Alloo
.'lghtooj comes tomollah, fo' clockeo." Notba'
Chinaman bo comoo, ho sayooi "Plaps you
payixj mo my boodlo, sno go San Flanclsco."
You say hlmi "Alloo light; fo' clockeo to
mollah." Nothn' Chinaman, ho como. ho says
"Mo alleo bloko up; must pay tieo hundlod
dollali; mo wnnteo my scads." You says
"Afloo llghtoo; como tomollah, fo' clockeo."
Notha' Chtnnmnii ho como, ho say; "My
blotha' ho gotteo allostod; mo wan too six
hundlod dollasj go ballloo." You says "Alleo
light; fo' clockeo tomollah." Alleo Chinaman
wanteo monoy on too. uono putteo monoy in.
Alloo sameo you smilo llkoo Houly Ivos, you
says "Comeo tomallah fo' clock." Youclosoo
door, pullco down blind, open safoo, tokooout
monoy, puttoo him in gllppeo stack, catcheo
lallload ticket foh oxpless foh Moutloal,
whooioo, dam sudden.
Fo clock to-mollah bo como, alloo China
man comoo bank. Bankoo heap closed. China
man busteo in, busteo in safoo, alloo monoy
heap gone Chinaman lush down teleglapb
olllco and teleglaphi
; titw yorxkx, ten. uu. :
: To Wun Lung, ;
: l'lcldent Bankos, ;
: Slontleal; I
: You comoo book heap quick ro. ray money. :
I .. . DxpuMSTOns. :
7.Paldl:
You leadeo him. You smlloo. You go
telogtaph olllco, you teloglaplu
: Montsjuu rcbuiy'tootoa ";
: To Dcplosltora Chinaman lUnk, ;
: Mott stlcct, Now Yorkoes '.
: Latst
:.!:.. V?.1!.60; WitkIjpko.:
You go back hotolleo, you smlloo, you
catcheo lino dlntinh, loast boofoo, maccaloni,
filed llco, loblns, laslielly puddlu. You oateo
heap, you smlloo, you gotteo dlunk alloo tlmo,
alleo samo Mcllcan man, whoop I heap funl
Thvlal Now York World. BiNQ You.
An Knnrst Woman.
"I bco you nro advertising Ano creamery
butter nt thirty cents," said an old woman
who entered a Michigan avonuo grocery yes
terday. "Is it butter or is It oloomargarlnol"
"It's butter, nindamo, and tho very best,"
said tho grocer.
"Suro it ain't oloomargarinor'
"Perfectly so. I'll warrant it"
Tho woman turned to go, when tho grocer
asked:
"Won't you try n fow poundsl"
"No, I don't want none. I want somo oleo
margarino." "I havo that, too," said tho dealer, "put up
in boxes nnd labolod."
"How much Is that a pound V
"Eighteen cents."
"That won't do. I want to pay just u
much for tt as butter Is worth."
"You can do that If you want to; I ain't
sayin' a word, nm IF" said tho man. "But
why do you want tof"
"Well, you soo, I'vo been glvln' my board
ers tho best butter, an' thoy guy mo an' coll
it oleo. I vow it's butter, an' thoy won't
bollovo mo. Now I want to get some oleo
an' tell 'cm what It is. They'll think I llo
an' oat it for butter. But I don't want to
mako a cent out of It, I'm au honest woman."
Detroit Freo Press.
31 oral Tooele.
Mrs. Society Crush TV I Jca of your coudu
stealing so nui'li money Irom .ttt limit I
shaH wwtr hyMik to Vilm ajaln.
Me Rnrtoy Crush Gnat iSoettl Vtoy,
yow own brother did exactly tho mint, tiling.
Mrs. Socloty Crush Yes, but ho didu't
mortify his relations by being caught 1 New
York World.
DUtatisfactlon.
Father (who has rushed totlwspot) What's
tho matter I
Boy Oh, dad, g-g-got mo out of this!
Fathor (lowly-Wall, if you ain't the
boniest boy to picaito I ever soo. Lost sum
mer I couldn't keep you out of this creek, and
now yor cryln' bocaaso yor in. life.
rrf : "
awBawwwjwwwqaa x x , jmmu ...... -.
Haver Had Heard of Any,
"Am there any pinnated grouse in thU vi
cinity I" Inquired tho thin, scholarly looking
man with tho elegant brooch loader on his
shoulder,
"Never hreroil of nny," said the western
Nobrnska farmer, "and I'vo II veil h'yur seven
teen year."
And tho Now England professor who wu
taking a vacation out west climbed wearily
aboard tho train again for n point a hundred
miles further wostwnnl, tho locomotlvo scar
ing up prnlrlo chickens In clouds ns it moved
swiftly along, Chicago Trlbuno.
Orntltndel
IPM1J4 W
SRCo """Wsil'W"
"Why, Charles, what's tho mntterl"
"Mnttcrl Why, I'vo Just mot that young
puppy Jones that 1 lent that Avo pounds to,
and ho said ho'd pull my uoso for mo If I
bothored him for It again I What do yoti
think of thatr
"I think ho'll havo his hands full if he
docs, Charles,"
And now thero Is a coolness botwoon them.
Judy.
One f (lorrrnor Iloant's Ktorlrs.
Wisconsin's homely oxocutlvo enjoys a wide
reputation as a spinner of yarns, nnd none
docs ho toll with n keener roL'sh thnn those at
his own oxonso. Governor Hoard iiomossos
In a high degrco tho Indoscrltiablo "knack"
of telling storlea,
Tho governor tells a story, which, as re
lated by him, Is Intensely funny, of a Yon
koo, who had a speedy team, which, he
claimed, had never boon Missod but onco.
Ono day tho Ynnkoo overtook n funeral pro
cosUon which had boon brought to a halt by
tho giving out of ono of tho horses which
draw tho haarso, Tlio Ynnkoo voluntoored
tho tuo of his horses to tako tho placo of tho
other team, and In a fow moments ho found
himself on tho henrso driving slowly hU
speedy animals. Just at this Juncture a
rival whom ho had frequently vanauishod
on tho race track camo speeding by, ovidontly
highly exultant at onco getting his old ad
versary nt n disadvantage. Human nature
assorted itself in tho Yankee, howovor, and
ho lot his horses out. Then an oxcltlng raco
was begun, which only ceased on tho part of
tho Yankoo when ho was overtaken by a man
who rodo up nt a furious rate on horseback
and told hi in that "thero was a funeral pro
cession half a tnllo back which was willing to
put In a llttlo tlmo in a lugubrious way If it
only had a corpse to hood it." This was the
only tlmo tho Yankee was freo to confess that
he had over been passed on the road. Chi
cago Herald.
Took Away Their Appetites.
First Young Physician (at private ban
quot) By tho way, Squills, that was an In
teresting coso I had In the typhoid fover
word of tho Galen hospital last woolc
Second Young Physician That case of
typhus pulmonallsl
"Yos. It wns complicated, you remember,
with acute symptoms of tonsllltls and cere
bral congestion. Tho wholo mucous mom
brano was moro or loss Involved."
"Was thero any cutaneous InflammntlonP
"Not until tho patient had reached tho de
lirious stage, Tho Insomnia was moro pro
nounced than in any hospital caso I havo at
tended this Hcasou. Ordinary opiates, taken
both internally nnd hypodonnlcally, seemed
to have no effect, and blooding was out of the
question, of course."
"That reminds mo, Stramonium, of a case
I hod a fow weeks ago. The patient had
bbou down for ten days with bilious rhou
matio fever when I was called in. Drastlo
treatment, you know, wouldn't do. Tho en
tire epigastrium uud"
Wholo Boulod Host (to group of guests
seated near young physicians) Friends, you
don't soom to Ik eating any thing. What U
tho matter I Ha vo you boon neglocted 1
Guosts (weakly) Not atoll not at alL
Chicago Trlbuno.
Ominous.
It was Bllklus' woddlng day and ho was
teasing his kid brother-in-law.
"Well, Johnny," bo said, solemnly, "I'm
going to tako your sister away off aud havo
her all to mytelf, where you won't soo bar
any moro."
"No I Iteally, aro your1 Bald tho kid curi
ously. "Yes, I am. What do you think of It!"
"Nothln1. I guess I can stand It If you
can." Washington Critic,
How Cynics Are Mado.
Brown Seen Smith lately!
Jones Yes. What a chango has como over
hlmi
B. Chango!
J. Yes, bo has bocomo a regular cynic,
B. Cynic!
J. Yes. He has no faith In humanity.
Speaks bitterly of tho entire human race,
B. Hal Who refused htm a loan! Boston
Courier.
Jute's Hair Dressing Idea.
Juuo, a bright llttlo 3-year-old, had just
sw.'.v li'i" Crst visit to th- barber's. Ho looked
very iiintUflod upon his return and his
taamtini uiVixl tho reason.
"1 ddu'Wko my hair combed this way, all
In llttlo au.-lJ," ho said.
"How dv ynu wish It!" queried his mamma,
"Why, ( nuit It llko Undo Tom's. I want
it in two-ull n." Now York World.
Homes! la Astronomy,
Grvtfj'imAinmn had boon explaining to tho
IfetHjjirl how our earth Is kept from flying
4fX into iiifluito spaco by the attraction of tho
ion, which N constantly trying to draw tho
cvth towards Itself, whlhi tho latter always
koops lU distance, "Grandma," said tho llttlo
girl, "I should think tho sun would get dis
couraged after a whlW aud lot It go," Har
per's Young People,
aivo Her i Striking Kinniple,
A father wiys ton llttlo girl or flvot "Sup
poso a llttlo girl should strtko you, you
wouldn't strlko back, would yout" After a
moment's thought sho said i "1 should want
to show her how sho did." Christian Ad
vocate, Way Up !u ttMr Art.
Mother Johnny, I'm shocked to hoar you
wear. Do you learn that at school f Johnny
Learn it at school! Why, it's mo what
teaches tho other boy Texas Sifting.
liDIES
eo '' oil nnd
An . our Goods
Spring
Novelties
nnd OrnnincnU
for the licnd.
All the latest
shapes In llanos
Switched, etc.
11U 0 St.
2 Missouri Valley Fuel Co. 4
Bell tho bestnunllty of Hard and Bof t
COAL
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
OFI'IOK I
6 Richards' Block, cor. i ttli nnd O. 8
GKE30. ZLCPtfIEL,
INSTRUCTOR ON
Piano 1 0rgan
OKIMOH WITH -
Curtice St Thiers' Music Store,
207 South tttli Street.
Kiss Ethel Howe,
Teacher of Singing
Room 131 Hurr Block.
Hours, 10 A. M. to 6 P. M.
R. O'NEILL,
DKALl'.ll IN
Diamonds, : Jewelry,
AMD OPTICAL GOODS.
Repairing and Engraving a Specialty.
116 No. Tenth Strtet.
Crystal Steam Laundry,
Ofioe, Burr Blk. Lanidrj, 24th and 0.
Finest Work in the City.
COLLARS AND CUFFS
A SPECIALTY.
All work called for and delivered, and
intlsfnctlon guaranteed. Leave orders a
ofllce or by telephone 478.
N. R. HOOK, M. D.,
DI8KAHK8 OK WOMEN.
Jrlnary and Recta j Diseases a Specialty.
Trent rectal dUraios by IlItlNKKHHOFF
PAINI.K8H 8Y8TKM. Onico, room 122, 123 and
121 Uiht Illock. Twelfth and O Birecbi. Office
telephone MS. lhwltltsncu 102U QBtrwL '1'bone, bit
Offlco lioura, 0 to lit a.m. 3 to B and 2 to 0 p in
Sundays, lu to 1 1 a. m.
3.A.SH0EMAKER)M.D.
HonxBopgthist Physician,
Telephone No, 685.
16 South 1 tth Street, Lincolm Neb
WESTERFIELD'S
Palace Bath Shaving
PARLORS.
Ladies - and - Children's -Hair - Cutting
A SPECIALTY.
COR. 12 & O STS., NEW HURR IJLK'
THE QBEATE8T AND BE8T,
The Yictor
Tho moHt KHilar,
Kafeiit and onstost rldliifc
macl.lao now boforn the
)ilbltc.
It ban won premium!
and tnedalH ovrr all
coiuetUoni and hus 110
tupurlor.
Bicycles and Tricycles
of all Klii't and desorlptlonti. KorcaUloffUet
-ermii, etc., call or uddrca,
H. L. CASE,
I0O North 9ili 8t Lincoln, Xebraika .
. dJlUtiW-.Ul-rt-Jl5J(L, -$KJSf.)