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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 12, 1889)
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, JANUARY 12, 1889. fe? Milwaukee, LSlPHUL iyii. 1 iJ cv. , CK' Own.nndopernran.VWmllroMhniuhl ulppr4 rond In Illinois, Vtcoiudii I"wn. Mlaaourl, Minnesota utid ImMotn. It 1 tint Kent Direct llmito lnt.oii itli lb rrluelpitl Points In llio Northwest, Huulhwoul stud Kr West For limps, lime tables, mica of imsiiuni ntul frrliiht, no., us-ply m nearest station intent nt CMIOAUli, Mll.WAttKKK A Mr. t'AUI. llAtl. way, or to any lliillrond AkuiiI nnywhcni In las world. .,... H. Mil. I. Kit, A. V. II. UAIirr.ci wnv, (I'ltcml M 'ilT. l.i.n'l I'iikk. . i"ki Alfl. K TUUKKIl, (IKtl. II. IIIIAriM.HI). t.fMlell' Mltr. AkkI.II. I'. A I. AKI Milwaukee, Wisconsin, .Ta?r"o: Information In releronrc In '.and ahdTnwn owned by tlio Ulilemin, Mllwiiu fcee.tHt, Paul Itiillwiiyt'nmpnii.v.xvrleto II. O. lUUU",t.mid l.'oinmldniior,Mlllwiukre Wlscoudn. Shortest : and : Safest : Route TO AM. POINTS IN Colorado, Wyoming, Utnh.Cnllfnrnbi. Mon tntin, idnii 10. Orewui and WhsIiIiikIuii Territory. Tnlto the OVERLAND FLYER And savo one day to nil l'lielne const point. THE UNION PACIF. Running Into union .depots nndni wlili font limited truiiiit or nil line ti points en!, vet. north and south. Throng fleket nnd modern d y conches. Ilnnwatt0 cheeked through to dcHtluntlon fnim nil to''ii east In tlio United States unit mindu. HleeHr jteaomndnt Inn reserved in through rnlltnun rsdseo car from tlio Missouri river lotliu l'n elflo cmiHt. FAST MAIL ROUTE ! 2 DAILY TRAINS 2 TO AtchUon, Leavenworth, St.Joeph,Knnsns City, St. Louis nnd nil point South, Kant nntl Wcit. The direct line to Ft. Scott, Parsons, Wichita, Ilutchlnion nnd all principal point in Kansas. The only road to the Great Hot Springs el Arkansas, Pullman Slkkpkkh and Prkk Keclininq Ciiaik Caks an nil mint. IG. HMWA, R. P. R. MILLAR, Clt Tkt Agent, Gcn'l Agent. Cor. O and tath Sts. Fremont, lilkhorn & Mo. Valley tSrOperatcs and con- trols Its own service between LINCOLN, NED., and OMAHA, CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE, SIOUX CITY MINNEAPOLIS and ST. PAUL. UT Through Tickets and llaggngo Checked to All points In Un ted States and Canada. Yesllbulo Sleepers, Palatial Dining Cam and Union Depots. CITY TICKET OFFICE : 11) South 10th street, - Lincoln OEO. N. FOltESMAN. Agent. J I. G Hunt, J. It, NuciiaVan, UeiienU M'gur, Oen'l Pass. Ag'i OMAllA. NKII. Dr. Selh Arnold's COUGH KILLER Is tlio best Cough Cure I oyer used. Tfm. A. Mycr, Weston, 111. Druggists, 25c, 60c., and l.oa E. T. ROBERTS & SON Undertakers anMmbalmers, 212 North nth Street, Windsor Hotel Annex, Telefhenes. Office 145. Residence 156. Open Day and Night. LSSSitSSMsTaOTtiSS H THE TRAMP' BTOnV. II Tells or a Tlmn When lie Was Happy with Ills Wife nnd llabr. "t)i yuu wv iniiu siii'lvi" Yw, I saw n lid nf sholvm on liotli sides of the issdnillee corridor on which oij wrote niHtnl cards nr assorted their null 'Whiit nlmtil tliuuir" "Jit look ut llilin trninp then"," was Dctiui' reply, nnd us wu followed lliu dl iii-liiiu of his linger wo saw perluir n duuui dlllpldntcd lriuuM loaning on tin' divks Home eroold, uthom were young. Koino w.i merely dirty, other niruUHhy All liKikod cold, nil IiniImmI HtitrvuL All were trnuin, but thoy nil ivt'iiilil to ho wrltlliK lotloin. "Tlmt's thu way taoy work it," crowta! tlm old iMitclinuiiL "ill, lliurol" Im ox clulinixl, nnhuMhiKik tils cunoiil tlio turnip, mul tlio llnunf highway kiupt toppUl to wunl tlioiliMirx like luiiphiH utruck hy n ImII "Yum," iit niiiiii tin wiiU'hmnu, "they i;o out, but thuy'll nllfoiuolMick thrmiKh nuutliur door You wo they imiiio In 'here vvimn U cold and pruUiud to wrllo letterx, or wiy thu) nro oxnvtlK letters. Twenty or thirty of thorn nroulwnys here, mul It kceM nil old uinu llko inu IniHy Hay. It's time lor Unit old fellow you saw mo llruoul to bo in on the other side, lout's gonruuud to thu I'urk ro slda" Thoro ho was nr;aln. ills head was niMldlng on his brmitt, whllu lu tils liiiiul wns n uU of groany old letters, ills mouth ooncd us .t nlmilt to say "I'm ViuutluK n letter," wliou UuikI slniul crnxhl DeunU tired hlin through thu swluglii;; doom. (Jut oil th pavement wo oxiocto(l to llud Uioold tramp a balteriMl wreck. Hut, "AID thero, eoppers," ho remarked uheerfully to n couple of hurrying hIIcoiiioii, touching his tint olltcly, "I sou that lu spltoof all pro dictions tlio stars aro out to-ulghU (lood ovuuhig, gontsi" 1 cnlleil to htm, "Bay, old man, como over to Hitchcock's." "A hostelry, I prexumo," was hU reiouso, and oirorlng to lako my nrui, which 1 Ueuietl him, houccuiupnnled tuoovur to tlio placoof "lioef and." Unco my trump had boon a g(Kxl looking limn, but now ho was a broken down, middlo agod, blear oyed "bummer " A hideous bear on his loft cheek omphasiuxl tuo malignity of his expression. "l)eur old Ihwtou," ho sighed, as ho shovel ed In tlio beau, "1 say dear old llostou lio- Cuiuo I am a llostoulan. Yw, unci onco 1 was pnud of It, too. Hut now, oh, Ixrd!" and Uioold wretch protended tosulvoL "My story" ho continued. "Ahl I was onco a business man lu tlio town of Arlington, Mom. 1 mndo u good living, had n pretty wlfo, children, comfortable homo nnd nil that, I thought I would go to farming, bocauto my health was not good, and 1 put all my savings Inn ulco tlttlo farm In llaiuxien, a llttlotowii nwir Haugor, Ma That was twouty'lvo years ago, strunger. Thoro wo woro hiivy. I usod to sknto iu tlio winter up tlio Penobscot to Uangor for our groceries ami ror tho exer cise, 1 cotdd talio n bag of colTeo uudor ouo arm, a ham under tho other, tlo a sack of (lour ou my back, nud if tho wind was with no could sknto thoso eight miles In half an hour, stranger," Tho old follow warmod to bis narrative und proccodcdi "Hut my wifo wasn't happy. Blio plnod for Dew ton, and somehow I didn't seem to too thatsho looked forwurd for tho times when 1 would sknto to Uangor. Tho neighbors, 1 ro tnombcr, umxI to look curious, ami by and by I uutlcod thoold women ceased to talk when 1 drew near. A sliadowy fear begau to luuiz over mo, but I tried to laugh at It. "Out ono day," slghod tho tramp, "It camo. My wlfo has boon nervous all day Hho had been to tho xmUU1co ovory mall, as if sho ex- octcil a loiter It was tho day, too, ou which 1 was to kkato to Uangor. Hut it looked so stormy that I said 1 would not go. My wlfo looked frightened, turned pale, and even thon I did not susiwct." Tho tramp was oxcltod now and wont nn "By and by sho called to mo and said, 'Jack, you must go to Uangor, baby has tho croup.' And sho said it as If sho meant it, too, stranger. I put on my skatotC Tho wind was against mo, but I did not know it. Tho Ico sped under my foot, tho shoro glided by and tbo clouds could not keep (aco with ma Tho dark frowning hills on oither sldo of tho old I'ouobscot roso and foil as i flow on tho wings of tho wind. Una mllo, two miles, throo and four. Half way I With ovory musclo strained and my body glowing llko a turnaco, my heart torn with aU, 1 rushed on In tho darkness. "Hark I What was that! My heart al most stopped beating. Tho wind had in creased Into a hurrlcauo, Uliat was that 1 saw before mo I Oh, honvousl Around High Head, in front of mo in tho dim lights of tho Uttlo city, was a wido oxpanso of foainhig water dashing tho Ico field Into millions of fragments. Tho ico was going out and I was in tho middlo of tho river I "Well, stranger, when tho Ico goes out of a great river in tho teeth of a wild storm, it goes. I can soo now that horrlblo whlto lino of foam plunging up out of tho darkness and swooping down on mo. I can fool myself dart over unbroken patches of Ico llko n swullow. I remember how I Juiutwd from ono rnko to another, and sometimes that awful fooling of despair and exhaustion comes over mo iu 1 recall how t mndo that last fearful plungo for tho shoro. My hood struck something and 1 did not como to until tho cold waves had drenched mo through and through again as 1 lay on tho beach at High Head. I staggered to ,tny foot bleeding from tho wound that caused tli9 scar that I hnvo carried over stneo. A man driving by was kind to mo and took mo to a doctor who lived near by. "Well, stranger, thoro ain't much moro to toll, I got homo in less than an hour. Sho was gone, but alio loft a lottor telling mo that perhaps somo tlmo sho would writo me whoa sho thought that 1 might llko to seo my baby. Somothuos when 1 am taken n Uttlo worso than usual thoso cold nights I expect a lottor." -Now York Herald. Dressing to Keep Worm. A peculiar dUTorcnco between tbo average American and foreigners in tbo manner of dressing, preparatory to a change in tbo cli mate, may throw somo light on tbo reason why colds aro contracted much moro readily by tho former than tbo latter This pecu liarity Is much moro characteristic of tbo dudo clement. I havo noticed very often that wbeu the weather begins to grow chilly a Herman, Frenchman, or Irishman, cept clally thoso of tho middlo or working class, moke very littlo chango in their outer gar ments. A lack of sulllclcnt funds In many cases prevents them from making tho change, but to keep tho biting blasts from their anatomy thoy pilo on additional undergarments, which experi ence will teach render tho individual much moro romfortablo than the man with a buf falo overcoat mid no undershirt. This idea was brought to my observation on the street on a very stormy day I was walking beside a brawny Irishman, whoso outer garments were a mlr of overalls and a long linen dust er. Inside of which was a blue jeans Jumer, tightly buttoned ubout bis body At a cas ual glance one would think him half frozen. I followed blm several blocks through curi osity, but could not discover aay signs of chill about him, while at every comer that 1 encountered a gust of wind I shook and trembled deeplto tbo fact that I .wore a large fur Uaed overcoat. St. LouU Ulobe-Detuo-snt, Mow IU ftniaksd Father's Clears, H. N Wllldy, one of tbs clerks of the hotel, bos given up sniokiaj for m time. This ho Is dnlns; of his own free will and ac cord and without a (Ktrtlclo of outstdo Influ ence Iwlug brought to boar. An old time schcMlmnte was In tho city n fow days ago, and tu thoy nnd somo other friends were chatting U llley's chum offered him a cigar, nnd npicnrud very much surprised when In formed that ho had ipilt tho habit. "Well, I never Imagined you would glvo up smoking," said ho, "for moro itcmlstent lieginner nover lled I tnuxt tell you fellows about the (lino Wllley's father first caught him lu tho act. Henry, horn, was mining down tho street In tho vlllngo whero we UNcd to live with a big cigar stuck In his mouth nnd making n regular steam engine of hluiKilf with tho smoko rolling back of him In cloud, when ou turning n corner ho sud denly rnn ngnlnst his father Tho hiUt gnvo hlin ouo sharp look, but poswd ou, Ntylng nothing. That evening at homo and after supper tlio fulhor Invited Henry out Into tho kitchen. Tho buy was not m hardened us ho Is now, audit must bo cnufcKhcd ho followed tho old gentleman In no little trepida tion, knowing not what to oxiect. When they arrived thero tho father's movements wero still moro inyMlfylug, for ho pro ceeded to build n rousing hot llro in tho ktovo nnd carefully closed all tho windows nnd doors, effectually preventing nny cool air from entering nud nny of the heat that was beginning to belch from tho largo cooking stovo from euro ping. 'Tnko a scat, Henry,' said tbo father, 'nnd let's lOMolaMo; I noticed today that you wero smoklugi I did not know you had nciiilrcd tho habit, hut, as you bavo, take ouo of my cigars,' nud ho handed out n largo, blnck looking torch, apparently strong enough to mako au old salt weaken. Henry took It nud begnn pulling nwny, talking phvisnntly to hN father tho whllo. When ho hud llulMicd It tho old gen tleman gave hbu nuothcr, and this, too, (pilckly viiiiUhcd. Tho third wns pnslucul, nud as Henry lighted It his father began to look wot Hod, which feeling Increnwd as tho weed Gradually bumel to u stub. As Honry throw It in tbo fire his fnthcr got up, nnd, wiping tbo iiersplratioit from his face, said, weakly i 'Well, Henry, I guis I'll go.' 'What, so sooul' said tho young Imp ns well as ho could without laughing outright. 'Well, If you must, good night, but I iWi you would lea vo another cigar; I should llko to enjoy myself by this ulco flro a whllo longer.' Henry's father tells tbo story himself, bo it must bo true." Chicago Herald. Keeping III Children llmirmt. "Madame," said n newly looking Individual to tbo lady of tho liouso whero ho had cnll(d. ou Oak Qrovo street. "Madame, I only ask a pittance, I nm not hungry, nnd If you wero to givo mo employment at your woodpllo, it would only delay mo in u schema 1 hnvo out lined whereby I can mako nn lionot living for myself and Uttlo ones. I ask simply for $1 to help nloug my enterprise," "Hnvo you n family In dotltuto clrcum stances!" naked tbo lady, with pity In her face, "I havo," was tho reply. "I havo eight children who I am trying to bring up to lead honest lives. I cannot bear to think that ono of them should lie driven to do n dishonest act." "Will this help your said tho lady, with tears In her voice, nt tho snmo tlmo handing him n dollar. "It would, Indeed," was tho reply. "It will help mo carry out my enterprise during theso warm, autumn days." "Whnt Is your enterprise, my good manf" asked tbo lady, "I'm going to buy a boat, madamo.Vlth which I shall bo nblo to steal wood enough from Hennepin Island not only to keep my family warm this winter, but havo somo to sell My children shall not bo driven to acts of dishonesty through their father's poverty. Madame, may heaven bless you for this con tribution. Minneapolis Tribune, The rian railed. "Now, horo's tho plan," said ono tramp to another, ns they leaned against a fence on Bproat street tho other day. "You seo that browu bouse f "1 do." "It has a for solo sign on It," "Yes." "Go and ring tho bell and tell tho woman you want to buy tho bouso for, say f.000. She'll bo glad to seo ymu In looking about Just mention incidentally that if sho has any old clothes to sparo you aro making up a box for tho African heathen. It's a big scheme and must work." Tho other went over and rnug tho bell, and tho door opened and ho disappeared. Ho soou appeared to vlow again, howovcr, and with that sort of movement which comes to a man when klckod. "Well, what's the matter r askod tho other. "No go." "Did you seo tho woman and offer her A,ooor "No. I saw tho man and found that tho place had been sold for $0,000! It's no use, Jim. Wo hain't worth shucks on finance, Wo'vo got to go back to tho destitute family racket." Detroit Frco IVcss. How Scarborough Got In. A good story has just crept into daylight, of which W. W. Scarborough is tho hero. Years ngo ho wcut abroad, and among other cities visited was Floreuco, then tho capital of Italy. Whllo ho was thero ouo of tbo great fetes In tbo gardens wns In progress. Mr. Scarborough was very anxious to nttend, but was told by tbo secretary that nobody but big ofllclaU wero allowed to witness tho festivities. At onco tbo eminent Cinclnnatlan straightened out his towering form and, ad dressing tho Italian in Spanish, not being conversant In his native tongue, said; "1 am president of the Company Oas ami Madison Turnpike." This announcement wns received with n most profound bow, and tho distin guished guest received tho needed ndmlsslon papers. Afterward, in rehearsing tho story, Mr. Scarborough said that tho gentleman ap peared to bo completely overwhelmed, espe cially by tho latter ofllcial dignitary replying! "Either, slgnor, will bo sufllclent," Cincin nati Enquirer. Restrictive Measutes. "Ellen Ilvcrllnab, wot vo nalluVr "I'm nailln' do baby's dresa to doflo'to keep Hra from crecpln' out de do' when I ain't lookln'," Harper's Bator. THE ARIZONA KICKER. A rw Trenchant Editorials Trmm Thai Kntorprlslng Sliest. Wo take tho following from the hut issue of The Arizona Klckeri A UiHArroiNTEu Man. A tough from Now Mexico, who called himself "The Terror of Bloody Itlver," struck our town tho other day with a wild yoll and started In to fore close on a mortgage. The toys wero mostly asleep or out shooting jack rabbit, but It woHii't over seven minutes after tho Terror uttered his lint whoop that he lay a wilted daisy on tho street. Tho coroner counted eighteen bullet IioIim In bis body, ami humbly observed Hint there was no call for an in quest. Tho ngo of tho Terror has paswyL Thoro was a time when it was considered real funny for a tough to capture a towu nud Kjp over u dozen loading eltlcna, and bis plcturo was certain to upjiour lu somo illustrated mT as n hero, but that tlmo has gouo by Terrors havo tiecomo dog cheap, and no ono wants to buy Tho coroner has our thanks for his kindness townrds us In this partlculiu- caw. Wo aro trying to grow some cutulp nud iisnrngus In our back yard and bo gave us tbo body (if tho Terror ns n fertilizer. Wo should llku three or four moro, and trust that our friends will lo on tho lookout to supply us. Not Oun Fault. Wo want it distinctly understood that wo had nothing whatever to do with thu unfortunate Incident that oc curred on Jnckuss Hill last Tuesday evening. Mrs. (Jen. I'witlicrstouu Issued cards for a high cullco, and most of tbo elite of tbo town had gathered at her two story ndols), when tho hhcrllr swooicl down nud took nwuy seven pi Isoners, mostly charged with horse stealing. We neither gave them away nor knew thnt such n raid wns Intended, but this proves auuw tho folly of such gatherings, (Society wants to show ofT, of course, but what's the uno In collecting n crowd for tho bcncllt of thoshcrllTf Hecoiiino Buuioua Thoso young men who mako upractlcoof firing Into Thu Kicker ofllco ou their way up and down nt night mny bo extruding a great denl of fun over It but wo nro not. As long as thoy fired high no particular daniago was dono except to tho stovcplito, but of lato several bullets have whistled too clot? to our couch for comfort. Wo hnvo been patient nnd foi U-urlng, not wanting to deprive tho lioys of any legiti mate amusement, but this firing must bo stopped or wo shall tuko vigorous measures against tho shooters. Hit Us Wiio.no. Wo havo s-cral times announced that wo had our "on" sjiollsnnd our "off" sH!lls lu regard to lighting, and that citizens who tackled us must take their chances. I-nst Friday thoold broken backed hyena who edits tbo oposltlou sheet saw us get n letter In n mourning cnvolnM nt tho (Mtstofllco, and bo concluded It would bo nu "oft"" day with us anil pitchod in to get satis faction. Tho mourning envcloo Inclosed n letter from tho bank at Tucxou, giving notice that a draft scut for collection had txx-n, much to our astonishment, collected. The old reptile above referred to thoroforo hit us dead wrong, and ho bad nn sooner put up bis dukes than wo went for him and had him hollering for mercy Inside of flvo min utes. Ho says In bis Ismio of yesterday that bo thought wo wero trying to draw a gun on him, but thnt it too thin. What ho really thought was that wo had hit him with a ton of granlto. Detroit Free Press. Deficient In Tuhtei etiquette. Uticlo 'Ilastus (at dinner I - Im. you young reskll, take yu'fcioffcii ile mt-nct on do labia. Aunt Dinah Yes, an' I deem to gnoonessef ho yalnt catln chicken broflT frum do end oh do spoon 'stld ob frum do side. When you grows up, Lcm, ebcrybody '11 tako yo' fur a low down nlggah wbatnovah bad no manners larnod to htm. Now York Suu. Seeking Something Deep. A lady n day or two ago went Into a store whero they aro selling books wonderfully cheap ovcry day, and approaching n counter over which a charming young saleswoman presided asked : "Havo you got 'John Halifax T" "No," was tho saleswoman's reply! "woto just out of 'John Halifax,' but hero's 'John Nicholson;' will that dof Tho lady thought it would not do. Hut tbo littlo saleswoman was determined to effect a sale. Bo she went on: "Do you llko deep books, ma'am Hero's 'Ten Thou sand leagues Under tbo Sen' that's a very deep novcll" Altogether that book counter was produc tive of more fun that morning than half tbo farces, burlesques and comedies going. Pittsburg DUpatcb. Slaking It a Clean Sweep. Senior Partner itoofllco hoyi What makes tho cashier so lato this morning) "He's taken all tho cash and gono to Mon treal, sir." "Whero's theclcrkr "He's skipjxxl to Spain with all tho siiver waro, sin" "Well, where's my partnerr "Qouo to Europe with nil tho gold watches, sir." "Good heavcnsl Well, eo berol as long as all tho rest havo gono, I'll tako tho diamonds and visit South America, and, by tho way, you can tako that basket thero, fill It with nickel watches and crossover to Jorsey." Jeweten,' Weekly. A Tiresome Caller. Mrs. Winks Hold tbo baby a moment, there's a dear 1 want to.put back tbeso pic tures I got out for Mrs. Minks to look at. Such a tlrcMtno creature as sho Is I She was hero for nearly half an hour this afternoon, and did nothing but talk about the baby," Mr. WlnksUloM bU little heart) So tbo ladies como and sit and admire and talk about the littlo cherub, do they I Of course, thoy do, they can't bolp loving" Mrs. Winks Uraclous mo I It wasn't my baby she talked about It was her own. Philadelphia llecord. A Successful Experiment. Mrs. Western! Well, my dear, have you fixed Miss Lakeside's room so sho will feel at home I Miss Westcnd Yes, ma-, and I know shell be delighted. When she eaters her room she will Instantly feel as if she wore right in the middle of Chicago again. "Indeed I What have you doner "I havo coated the windows with lamp )Uck.n Philadelphia Record. II umar on the Faclfle Coast. Drowbeatlng Lawor ito opposing wltntes) Were you ever arrested for felony I Tbo Witness (desperately) Yes. I.awyor Ahal What was that felony! Wltnom Arson. Lawyer What building was It that you sot flro to I WltncH Tho Ico palace at Bt. Paul Son Francisco Examiner. A IHsli In Order. Young man (In coffee and cako restaurant) Aw hnvo j ou linger UiwU, wultcrl Wnlter Yes, sir; but wo don't bavo very many calls for thorn." Young Man Aw well bring mo 0:10. pleoso, Wnlter Ay, ny, dr. (Vociferously) One wnsli liasln, with a slice of yellow digester 0:1 the Inside Tbo Eoch. Tho Conqueror Conquered. In southern nrclilolunoes he'd fought tho bloody cannlhal; llo'd skinned nnd tanned the crooodila and found I1I111 u-ry tnnablo: Not n won) of fear hu'd uttered, not n word nnd nut u syllable. When he killed tho llongnl tlRer, and hu found him very klllahlo. IIe claimed his strength was very great, for bears nud lions suitable; tie used lo iMMit tho Krizzly hear, and found hlin very bootable; He claimed hi killing monstrous snakes, that he wasery capable. No boa constrictor could escape, for ho was uni ciibla In fighting hippopotami, ho said ho was la vincible, No jojruar could mako blm wince. bccauo he wasn't wlnceablo; lie made the ramping elephant no tongcr reeog titrable. And puhcrlzcd tho roarlPf hull, nml found blip piilvi-rlzahlo. Just then his wlfo came in and said. "I'd uilnk I qulta coinnienitalito If you'd come and 'tend tho bahy; and you'I! fln.l blm very loadable." Tlio way she took him by tho earn 111 make (lib KR'in readable; She pulled him out and led him home, and found blm very leadablu. -S. W. Foss Iu Vnnkeo niado. Improving 11 Proverb. "Pvo always ndmlred provcrlu, my dear," Mr. Dusenberry said, as ho rubbed ids chin In n contemplative way. "Thoy nro chock full of significance They nro laconlo nud logical. Now, for Instance, thero Is tbo Bay ing, 'Straws show which vciy tho wind blows.' Whnt could moro tersely" "Yes," Interrupted Mrs. Dusenhcrry with a twiuklo In her starlxHird oyu, "If you'd sift tho ashes ovcry morning, Instead of let ting mo sift them, you'd know moro about tho direction of tho .wind than all the straws lu creation would show you." Detroit Frco Press. It Was tho House. A girl about 5 years of ago was wandering around ou Croghau street tho other day when a policeman espied her nud asked; "Where aro you going blssyl" "Golug homo." "Whero Is your bomor "1 can't find It," "Can't you I Then I'm afraid you aro lost" "Oh, 110, 1 ain't," sho promptly replied. "I'm right hero, but homo is lost. I wish you'd bo good und llnd It for mo," Detroit Vreo Press. A Sure Sign of Wealth. "Bjones must Ik making mnuoy fast," said Dr. Uromldo to Dr. Wan!;. "How sof" askod Dr. Ulanlc "What makes you think sof "1 don't think so." said Dr. Bromide, "I know so. I paid Bjones half a. dozen profes sional visits n mouth ago, and yestcrdny I sent In my bill. Today I got a chock." Somcrvlllo Journal A iloho In u Ilend t-ungunge. Bobby (proud of I1L1 progress in Latin) Pop, what's tho Ijiti'n for peoplol Father I don't know. Bobby (loudlyi I'opulL Father (fiercely) What do you mean, you young scampi Lie, do If By tbo Piper, lad, Pvo half n notion to busto you. Blngbamtou Republican. A Tragedy. "Jack, dear, Just keep anoyoou baby whllo I do somo shopping." Scrlbner's Magazine. Self Torture. Ed Yes, I admit that 1 frequently talk to myself. Al How bomd you must be, Time, fL" Ladies' & Gentsr FINE SHOES At greatly reduced prices AT l.W.WEBSTERS, 1043 O Street. N. M. Ruddy, Practical Optician. A specialty made of expert Eye GIas Fating. Glasses that rest the eye, 300a kinds, 217 Sooth 16th Street, liss Ethel Howe. Teacher of Singing Room 131 Burr Block. Hours, 10 A. M. to 6 P. M. Miss Olaire E. Link, TEACH Kit OF Drawing and Painting Orders taken In'Pastel and Oil. Room 131, : Burr Block. THE QKEATEST AND BEST, The Victor Tho most popular, snfesl nnd easiest 1 Idlng miiei.luu now before thu public. It hns won premium and medals over nil -ompctllorHiiiid bus no ,upurlor. Bicycles and Tricycles of nil sires and description. Forciilnh-KUCBr yrniK, etc., call or address, T-I. L.CASE, 100 North t)(h ft., Lincoln, Ncbrnskn.- WESTERFIELD'S Palace Bath Shaving PARLORS. Ladies - and Children's - Hair - Gutting: A SPECIALTY. COR. 12 & O STS., NEW BURR IIL'IC MfC.dk ftHftflollil dole! Watts,. IrBBl Bt$! waito Id lot world. I'BmHI faffed Limekeantr. War. rLWTBsW --vfioiid, lie? tioUd Uold w iiBifs, aiiunimr uiti. uin UdltV SHl LiHSiiiV BmuivBil n A Inl4 Altai lt i. k..L a and of aqua) valua. 1 One 1 era on lo tacb lo caltlr ran atcura ona frtt- tortthrr wlih our lf;a and val uable Una of II out v hold Nnmpleae Thfiaaainplta, ao wtii a lha watch, wa atvl Free, and attar you hart kcDt Cham tn your homa for 8 montha and ihown tbtm to thoia who mar hart called, thty bacoma your own property. Tnoir wbo writ at onca fan bt aura of receltlne; the WntcH and Nnmplea. VVapar all eiprfu, frrlaht.eta Addrtia Mtlmua ale Co., JJox 813 ArUund, Maine Is the oldest and mnat popular nclcntlflc nitf mechanical paper publlntutl ami lias the lnrdit circulation of nnr pnper of lis claaa tn t ho worltl Fully illutrutet. HKt class of Wfod Kncrnr Intrs, PublUhea weeklr. Hend for specimen iij, lrlc f3 h year. Four months trial, II. MUNN X CO., I'Uin.isiirHH.a.l Ilroadway, N. ARCHITECTS & BUILDERQ Edition of Scientific American. O A crcat auccras. Knch luo contains colored lltluiuruiililo ilalesf country nnd cUr rvalilun ccs u r iiulillo bullillnm. Nuincrum enurHTlns and full plans and icclflcatlon for tliuuio ut uchuaconlenipliitfl ImlldlnK. l'rlcolSOa ycr, U eta. a cupr. MU.NN i. CO., l'UUUBUElts. PATENTS H 40 yiar' experience nnd hav liU.UI) applications for Amorli elan imlnnl. fend for llandb IniaTbonccur I I'd bjr niiplj. . Inu to MllN'.V Co., whir huTttlindoTcr liavu Hindu i,vir Imorlcan and Fcir i lint enl h. Hond for Handbook. Corrua pondoncu strictly contldentlal. TRADE MARKS. In your mark U not rcslttered In tho Pat' ont unice, apply to Mli.NN A Co., and procure Immediate prelection. Send for Handbook. G'UI'VRICIITS for book!, charts, mapr tu quickly procurod. Address B1U.NN A: CO., 1'iUrnt Hollcllora. (ItNIUAL OrriCKI Ml UllOAllWAY, N, T at? Aim IVITTTIrrirlV twu .. m.,,. Bnorthsnd and Typewriting. Dt and larimt enllem In the weal. Slucl- uta prvparrd for builnrss In from I to 9 months. IudiYKlial 'instruction. yu.llSiaSS pertenced faculty. 8nd for oolWe Journals ank .psclnmn. of penmanshln to -. wi ULUUUUOK A nOOBK. Unooln. Kcb, MM. 1. CLN Mwitmr'wa (i..wii