tammMMMmmrmmsiiimj
umm&imm!immms!
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5
H. W. BROWN,
Dealer In
Drugs and Medicines
PAIN'TS.OILS, GLASS-
Books, Stationery, etc.
1 27 S Eleventh st
.MIAWISHtbZiWK
MMMHMMHMI
THE
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(PDHUAND'OnCGOH'
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ffifrfflj
E
umt
e'ul irjiwrk
m4
A TREASURE.
Mlsehlcrous Antlrn of an KnttrrtrUIng
Untc Hoy.
I met my frloml, tho uptown icsurnnco
ninn, a fow days ngo, ami his countaimnco
was sail "Tlioso olllco boyi will Ik thodortth
of 1110 yet," ho sold. "I trloil n now ono Inst
vtcoIc lie was n nlco American Uiy, rapid In
Ills movements, nnd Rcomlngly rcnluu. U'lien
ho lind Ihn'ii In my employ two days lio enmo
to tho ofllco nftor n trip to the bank nnd said
that two men had attacked him nnd tried to
got his money nwny. Ho had tripped up ono
nnd torn nwny from tho other nnd nrndo good
his iseaiK. Tho next day ho en mo running
Into tho ollk-o and told mo that tho two
younp men who wcim Injini for n clmnco to
rolililni vvorooutMilo. IIo olnttil thetn out, I
1 lung furn policviuun nnd tho men vvoronr
ritixl. I pivo tho liny $5 for his shnrpncM '
nnd fnlthfttlniws. Tho Iniy How about his
work in it tnoro nlort manner than over, nnd
i was still further convinced that I had
found a trvasuro
"Thnt nftvrimoii I wont out nt 1 o'clock to
get my lunch. I mot n man who Nihility
candidate was not koIii;; to lw elected, nnd
of courso atoiHil toicnson him out of this
view. At 4 o'clock 1 sent n note over to my
chief clerk tolling him to close up the place
nnd iwnd thu keys to my homo by tho I ioy.
These directions 1 nftcrvvnnl learned wore
strictly obeyed, but the Iwy had his ow n Idea
of how to ierforiii his share of the work.
'Nobody knows whero tho Ikiss Is,' he said
cheerfully to my wife, ns ho Rave ttj) tho
keys, 'lie may lo dead. No ono hns Been
or hoard anything from him since lunch
time. I rather think ho hns met with an ac
cident, but whatever has hnpoucd you may
deioud on me, ma'am. I'll stand by you nnd
see you through.' Well, then there wns a
1 1 mo. My wife Juuicd to the conclusion
that something had hacncd nnd telegraphed
for her brother. Blio signed her initials,
which, of course, n re mine. Her sister-in-law,
who Rot the telegram, read it, nnd
Imagined that it came from mo and was de
signed to get my brother-in-law out for
racket.
"Sho didn't glvo It to him till nfter 8
o'clock. About 7:!!0 o'clock I turned up nt
my house nnd my w Ife nearly fainted nt tho
sight of me. While wo were talking the
bell rnng nnd the boy npeared, more cheer
ful nnd liusy than ever. Ills couutennueo
fell considerably when he saw me, and ho
got ofT to tho edge of the htooji. A dark,
grnvo looking man, whoso drcMt suggested
clerical duties, wns with him. 'What do on
wnutr tasked tho man. 'I nm an under
taker, sir,' ho replied, 'and I believe there Is
a job for mo hero.' I was dumfounded for u
moment, and thou I kicked that boy clear to
thoslduwnlk nnd 1 have not seen him since."
Urooklyu Eagle.
Ocuerons.
Small Urotliur Where did you get that
cake, Annie f
.Small SMer Mother gavo It to me.
Hinall llnither Ah, ulio always gives you
more than inc.
Kmall Hister Never mind; she's Rolng to
put mustard plasters im n't when wo go to
bed to-iiiKht, and I'll nk her to let you hao
the uisge.it. .S.iti I'lancisco Post.
Tim I Jiit Itcniiit.
Salesman Tho.-o coul'ottndeil dress goods
don't gooir worth n vent. They've Iksii In
fctock now for over u jenr, nnd we haeu't
bold morc'n llfty yards all told.
lVojirletor What did they cost its?
"Thirty-live cents; nnd I've leeu olTeriug
them for a quarter."
"Why not try them on the bargain coun
ter '
"I suppose wo might try it."
"All right. And, Mr. Tating, marl; them
nt TO cents. Wo must get rid of them somo
wny." Doston Tiniitcnpt.
I'm rut.
Wife Why, John, what made you get
Mich a little umbrella with so much handle.'
Husband That handle' solid silver.
Wife Yes, but you can't put the handle
up when it rains.
Husband Well, I'd bko to know if I didn't
put it up for i during the lust wet spell,
Washington Critic.
Hot Paid I-nlinr.
"What sort of labor is best paid in this
country!" nuked a visiting englishman of tin
American.
'Field labor," wns tho prompt reply.
"You surprise me."
"It's a fact. You ought to seo tho salaries
paid to our baseball players." Kxcuango.
A I'ii77lln: OiicMlon.
A Paris (lrm has producci', porous glass for
window panes to nssi.it ventilation. Porous
plasters are said to be good for bodily pains,
but whether porous glass is gootl for window
pane remains to be determined. Nornstow n
Herald.
Mr. Ikitter (soiuethhig of nhinggnrt, somo
thing of a bore) Oil, yes, 1 am n great ball
player; I have yet to gee the pitcher I can
not' strike. It would do yon good to bco mo
make one of m) home runs I
Miss Indeed It would! Hurler's MMga-tltic.
Tho I.OHB Stop.
i If ; -
IV , IS
IntlmliUttoii.
Reginald IVijvi, can 1 havo n pleco of
nilneo plef
I'npn Yon may if you will prointa not Ui
tell iimmiuik that I gvo it to you.
(Plo It ilovmiri-il In slleucti.)
ltegltinld l'lcrtso. can I have somo more I
l'npa (sternly) No morv, lrl
Ileglunld (after n jvtuse) " you don't let
in I iihnll toll mamma.
Ho got It. 1. If o.
rnllowtiiR Bull.
Dudekln (who had Just put on n new suit
of clothes In tho nhop) Wult n minute, I'll
go over to tho bank nnd get a check cuslieil
Tailor (going out with him) Very well, I'll
follow suit. Washington Post.
I.lfn Anionir tlin hlitux,
Iist year nt the Pocahontas and Pluto
Patriarch balls a young lady from tho Un
comivihgru ngency, who wns nt tho Standing
Ilock agency on n visit in the homo of her
uncle, l'li-inn-lo-nt-to-we-wan-ko-go-ko, or
The-Knrly-Dwnrf-Cyclone That-Pulls-Out-Arteslaii-WolN-wlth-IIIs-Tceth,
undertook to
dreys n little illlTcrcutly from what the rule!
had lieou there, wearing on one occasion n
complete costume of pink tulle, simply gath
ered at tho throat ami fnlling to her foot,
beingonly caught back hero nnd thern by a
nail or knot In the Ihvir, Nothing like it had
ever liecn heard of by tho Hloux nation, nnd
the beautiful young Utess, who hail U-en nt
ono time n Hnhbath school scholar near
Ouray, whero she learned to Ouray for civil
ization, bade fair to capture the cntlro Sioux
trilx", so far as the joting men were con
corned.
Sward McWalloper .nt hern note, written
on nil old piece of Ikii k with jiokebei ry Julco
nnd n paint brush, in which by means of
various Indian characters characters which
nobody need fool proud of, either that hn
had learned from what he considered good
authority that she had purchased the ma
terial for her costume by selling berriea
which sho had picked for that puroso.
So sho was u5tracl.od.
Costumes for niitiimn, both among Sioux
ladles and gentlemen, me found to liavo un
dergone very little change.
House slippers, consisting of ono coffee sack
for each foot, held ill place with wool twines,
nro growing In favor. ICnit nndorwear,
trimmed with fur, makes u striking costume
for st root wear.
Probably nothing nt any evening gather
ing ho far has attracted more attention than
the dlrcctoire costume of Sward McWal
lojior, thf social leader, at the select hurrah
nnd feed held by the Messrs. nnd Mcxdatuci
Shacknnsiy l'eto. He -.'.ore his hulr ronched
behind nnd leaded in front, while across his
brow ho woio tho jnit vt n prairie, tlog.
Tho lmlauco of his uostuujo consisted of n
health cor.-l with la'mLi'equiu of now mown
hay around the base.
A straw ride will bo given on IViday by Pit-ina-le-at-to-wo-wnnke-ge-ke,
or Tho-Karly-Dnnrf-Cyclouu-t
hat-iiulls-out-iirteHinn-wells-withdiis-teeth,
provided ho call borrow a
team. Dill Nye in Nt. Ycrl; World.
lU'UMIIllllg.
Mi-h. Marigold (hostess at a fashionable re
ception) Come, Mr. Kw inhume, let mo in
troduce you to Misi Hlehgiii. Wo want ycu
two to till up a set.
Mr. S. (hesitatlngly)-I don't know Hint I
enro to bo introduced to Miss Itichclii. She
seenn to li so haughty, and nil thut, dou'l.
you know; Pain iifraid she wouldn't caro t;
dance with me."
Mrs. M. Oh, don't havo nny fears on thnt
score, Mr. Swinburne. Ml.s Uiehglii ain't n
bit particular who shedaiicis with. Van
kce lllade.
On IML-e.
"Smith Is n mighty mean man, I sny," ex
claimed Jenkins warmly.
"Why, what Ims Smith tver done to your
asked Hlcukfnsop, surprised.
"I!et me $10 I could not lilt a barndoor
mtlia revolver nt live pace," said Jenkins
angrily, "Taunted mo Into taking him un.
(Jot mo to put up tho money. Measured oir
the live paces in presence ot u lot of witnesses.
Gave me u revolver loaded, and .then set tho
turn door up edgewise." Somerville Jour
nal. Un Knew tlin Word to Ilrnw Sjinpatliy.
Tramp Couldn't yez help a pour mnn.sor
t1io'.s just ufther geltiu' oir n bad sick
f.esjif Agent of the Society for tho Provculion of
Cruelty to Vice H'ni! What .mis the innt
t.'r, my poor fellow)
Tramp Sure, it'son llieoisland Oi'vobcen,
For, for three months back, lecoveiiu' from
tlioeirecti nv un attack av kleptomania!
Life.
:eHeiitlng un Insult.
Robinson Jackson, I hear that Drown
called you a liar last night.
Jackson (bitterly) Yes, he called inon liar.
Robinson And didn't )ou resent it)
Jackson (wurinlj) Itesent It You lot I
dlil. I toKl him that was simply n matter of
opinion and not uf fact. No man can call
mo a liur and get away with it. Life.
One Tiling Certain.
First Club Lounger After all, Mackenzio
nnd the (lermati doctors aro ugiccdoii the
main point at issue.
Second Club Lounger Wiint Isthntl
"Why, that the lato emperor is dead."
New York Tribune.
llesldes, They Never Crow Weary.
Angelina What aro jou going to havo on
your fall hat!
Kmelino White wings.
Angelina White w lugs) What fori
L'mclluo-Ik'causo I can get them for a
song. Time.
No 1'iiir uf Accidents.
Kvery time uo lead of u ralli-o.ul horror
wo nro thankful that tho Martha's Vineyard
railroad owns only one train. No fear of
collision can nllllct the traveler on our road.
Martha's Vlnejanl Herald.
No Danger.
Young Mother Horrors, Jauel tho baby Is
trying to swallow a pin.
Nurse It's nil right, mum; it's a safety
pin. Philadelphia Record.
IHII yl Gwr "tK.
4L
MASCULINE 8H0PPIN0.
Tlin llend of (lie llotmn linn flu tun run
A m llujrr.
1 had occasion yontonlay to git a few
"things" ncivKsary In a well regulated hoimo
hold, 1 went Into a hirgostoronu thocorupr,
where, ns I gathered from their Advertise
ment.s, they were morv than satlilhsl If they
inaild any w hero near a living profit. Un
scruplousso called coitipetltom, they clnlnieil,
were trying to undersell thom, but, so far,
theso one horse concents had received only
tho well merited scorn of a dlnciimluntlng
and long headed public. I felt greatly
pleased at getting on the track of n place tha
llrst thing vvheru they were content to low) it
fair orcontngo. 1 couldn't help fooling sorry
for the small concerns that were struggling
nlong nnd trying to keep tipnppearanetK, but
then they should have known better than to
have stinted in.
There was nwldo stone sidewalk around
the stori , nnd beside the other people them
were wwonil coachmen standing nlong tlin
outer edge wealing long, gloomy expressions
on (heir In 'vs. Personally, I anivisl on the
elevated road, which Msot along but a few
blocks away on someivhat shorter stilts, It
seems to me, than It docs farther uptown. I
wont In and Ivgaii to look nrottud. I wanted
to get a iiuiiiInm of things, lint all 1 could
think of wastwo yards of felt, so I went over
ton man who looked like Hamlet when Pohv
iilus Is talking to him nnd nuked where they
kept their felt. Ho told mo, but looked as If
things were getting worse and worse In the
state of Denmark.
I went to tlm plnco to which Hamlet di
rected tun nnd found (Wiling tackle nnd rub
ber dolls. Hamlet' advice to the purchnscr
Is not satisfactory. However, I found tho
felt dowu tniont at last and sat down on one
of tho cloth covered door knobs w hlch stood
along lu front of the counter mounted on
sticks. The young lady who had tho man
agement of the felts was very busy matching
a piece of green felt ton blue tamplofora
customer, so I had time to rest. I didn't see
anything morn of Hamlet, but Corlolanus
wont past unco looking for Vnlsciaiis. Down
the kid glove alley 1 noticed King Richard
II meditating on tho melancholy fate of sov
ereigns nnd tho probable relative demand
that there would be next week for four and
six button gloves respectively. Kverythlng
seemed to bo Intended for rest. They up
ottrcd to want to encourage MS)ple to stay
and grow old with them. I saw that tho idea
so many folks labor under that life Is short
isndelnsiou. I sent word to tho manager's
desk by one of the ciushlmyj that if there was
nny charge for sitting on that button after
the llrst hour that I would make it all light.
The young l.uly got around to me at last,
however, and asked mo what color 1 wanted.
I didn't know that 1 had lust the sample
while I was pawing around in the grass In
tho front viird before I left homo looking for
my street car tickets. 1 told her I thought I
wanted u soit of dark green, though. Sho
said she didn't see what I could want of dark
grieu felt. I acknowledged that 1 didn't
know what I wanted it for, but I wns protty
sure that that was the color. She said that
If I had lost my sample sho didn't see what I
could know about what 1 wanted, nnd I had
to admit that it wus home so. Then sho
showed mo somo red felt, nnd jelluvv felt,
nnd purple felt, nnd various other colored
felts. My mjnd kept wandering back
foolishly to tho dark green, bill if 1
tried to sny anything nbout It she soon
put me on the right track again, nnd spiead
out some light rose colored felt before me.
She was just ready to cut mo olT n pleco of
this when thu crazy notion that I wanted
dark green got tho better t,f mo again nmi I
toldlur that I must havo it. I apologized
for my freak, but I explained to her that 1
would never bo happy till I got it nnd sneaked
homo with it under iny ovefcoal rml lihl It
sj that tio one w.uld ever .'.now- that I hail
bought tint k green felt just because I wanted
it when I could Imvo got light rose colored.
Sho scattered slabs of felt right nnd left for u
minute or so nnd dug a roll of the poor, crack
brained dm I: green out of tho bottom of the
pile nnd cut olf two yards. She said It came to
fikBI, reduced from f.i.Til,';, nnd I gave hern
?. bill. Sho gave the felt to a girl in a
pigeon hole to tie up nnd put tho money and
n cheery little note to the cashier, saying that
she had innde u sale nnd hopi-d he was enjoy
ing the same blessing, in a little round tin
js'ppor box with a fur collar mi each end of
it, nnd dropped it down tho end of a siunll
brass eaves spout w hich came up by the side
of tho postolllco box tho girl was in. She
pulled n sort of a thing around over tho top
of the braivs tnlw and it licgan to hum a kind
of a sad, subdued tune, nnd I judged that all
was over.
I rested my elliows on tho counter nnd
thought nnd watched the end of that brass
money digesting apparatus for a very long
time. I saw my mistake, now that ftwui
too late. I had often been warned from
youth up rigalust putting my money in where
I would never get it back, and this must be
what they meant, I had often wondered
when my financially sharp fricndhad told
mo that I must never put my money bit)
anything vvheio I was not certain of speedy
returns, what they were teferiing to; this
was evidently it. Tuno wore on nnd tho
brass pipe hummed tin lumo sad refrain
down in its throat nnd refused to give up my
i't. I wouldn't havo cued so much if I
hadn't been t jhl so many tunes not to put my
money into nnything 1 dt lu't know nnythlng
about. Time went on and I hung to the one
legged stool, though I had long ago given up
hoH. I noticed tVi-it Cardinal Wolsoy was
preparing to go homo while Macbeth was
having a boy takedown the bample laeo in
his depai tiueiit. All nt oneo tho organ plio
chicked and liegan to breathe hard. The
gill pulled something nnd tool; out the ioi
er box with the whiskers. When tho joting
lady opened It nnd gave mo my change, con
slstiug of nine pennies and some other coins,
I walked hick from the brink of financial
ruin as one in a dream. Fred II. Cuiruth lu
Nov.- York Tribune.
Well Acijuuiated wllli Dlngius.
'U
"tthadhult, how do jou like the Iwksof
thrtvs trousers) They're a new pair. I dressed
In a hurry this morning cud I-hal ha! I
put these o:t by inUtuke"
"Diugtiis, I'm sjrrv.but I haun't iccat
about Jme."-C!;lcaso Tribune.
AM
LEAP
BALL-PROGRAMS,
AND INVITATIONS
With Illumination designs appropriate for tho occasion,
Printed in finest style of the art at
COURIER : OFFICE.
AL,SO
LEAP YEAR RECEPTION CARDS,
WesscI & Dohbijqs,
Clrt "Printers,
New f13urr IJlook.
Wedding Invitations, Engraved Calling Cards, Hox Station
cry, Fine Printing of all ICmuIs.
Give Us ei Trieil Orclei
The Season for Driving
Has opened and we have just received a tine line of Turf
(Joods and a great variety of
ftrl
at
Grey Horse Harness Emporium,
1020 O Street.
Garfield
O Seventeenth street
Railway, lots
GARFIELD PARK.
Now on sale.
Inquire
YEAR
v
Cor. 1:2th unci O Sts
Whips,
Saddles,
FANCY DUSTERS
LAP ROBES
AND-
Ladies : Pine : Saddles
Tin:-
Addition
car line of Lincoln Street
fronting on
at Room 3.; Richards Block.
