Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893, October 13, 1888, Image 7

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VT r !
Tr if-ii
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Dealer In
Drugs and Medicines
Books, Stationery, etc.
12- S. Eleventh st
rrmi v !
S?F;" fpnnri ANn.nnrr.nrTrt-
Tho Wct Phoro In the only llltittratnl mapv
rlno inihlltlml on tho Pnclflc road, nnd nlile
from lt excellent literary feature, It nlijcct li
to convey Informntlon, by both pen anil j-cncll,
of tho resource of tliU region, and tha
progress of their development.
Special Illustrated articles npprar In each
hino; tiv, (everal pages of notes of tho pro.
cross being ninilo la every rcctlon, Orrcon,
WmMnjtoii, Idaho, Montana, Alarlca, Utah,
California, llrltlsh Columbia, and tlio l'acltlc
Northwest In General, ore bclnc Illustrated.
Tho subscription prlco Is only 1 3 00. It Is not
only thn cheapest illustrated magazine In tlio
United States, bnt contains articles nnd en
craving of great Interest to every resident of
this region, which can cot bo found lu any
other publication.
Subscribers for 18S8 reeclvo a largo supple
ment every month. Tho first mio is a tcnutl
ful oleograph of tho "Kntrntico to tlio Colum
bla Hlvcr," printed In cluo colors, and each
of tho others represents somo feature of our
lubllmo scenery. Tho supplements nro alone
worth mora than tho price of the magarlne.
Try It for 18SB, nnd after leading, send It to
your friends elscwhcro. Vou will Cud It hotk
atertalnlug and Inttructlvo.
L. SAMUEL, rabllsher,
171-1J3 Second St., l'ortlsnd, Orecon.
Monarch of the Dailies!
Omaha Bee!
Delivered to an)' part of the
city for 20 cents a week, every
day in the year Leave sub
scriptions at Lincoln bureau,
1 02 7 P street.
The Shortest, Quickest nnd Best
Route to
Atchison, Leavenworth, Kansas City,
St. Louis, Cincinnati, Washington,
Baltimore, Maw York and Boston.
jyr-I'or further Information. Folders, etc., en
n .driresM
City Ticket Audit, Cor. O nnd IL'th st.
f) lUUCXtK, Dtiot Ticket Agtut.
Allthu 1'ATTEHNS sou wish t uo during tho
year, fur nothing, tu su lug of from J 3.00 to l.oo;, by
ftutocribiug for
)emo rest's iti".
With Twolvo Ordors for Cut Paper Patterns of
jour own sslectlon and of say size.
o or nil tlio lUnprny.liieH.
Jllustratiil wllh Orlytiml Mr! linurav
tut1, J'lintiiiniv)trcn, Oil J'lettirr ami
ft no llooilcntn, mulilniU the ModilMamt.
fine of .Interim,
Hull Mrjashio contains n coupon order cntltllnrr
lis holder t j t'. Mrrt mn of rny putUrn illiiMratcd
t tlis f ililo:i ili'iartmcnt In Hint number, nnd hi
iij' of tin Mzin mamifiiclurcl, mnkliiK mttrrnn
lirlnj tho your of tin' viiluouf ovcrtliroo ilollnrs.
DKMOIII.STH MONTHLY H Jilftly entitled thn
l.'o'l l' Model Mnuazluc, Tho l.nrt;rt In Komi, tha
lrge-t In C'lrciihitlon. nnd tlio l't TWO Dollar
Kainhy Mngazlno li.ticd. IHnSwIII ho thoTncntj.
r.ririh yenr of In niMlcioti, nud it stands at tha
hujdof ruinlly 1'erlodlcnls. It inntHlns ?i iai;cst
It-uonii'irto. Hlfxin; Inclirs, clcijumly prii.tvd und
fully llliiHtrutud. 1'ubllalicd by W, Jcunluys
Duinorcst, New Vurk
And by Special Ai,'roomont Com
binod with tho
Capiiol Cily Conrier at $3.25 Per Year.
E2 i
mb& :
Heaping ConU of IFire.
My coniwtiloti wna tolling mo how ho hud
Just ilropjHMl i letter from lilt pocket, how n
tuoiscngcr boy lind found It nud how ho Imil
rownrded tlio toy. Just tlicu t'-o door opened
and tlmt messenger lxy entered, Ho wm
nltout tlio tiro of n giant flro cracker, ninl lio
wns Just n fuJl of powder llo walked
trnlght up to whoro thai olllclnl nut, nnd
pulling n tllvor quarter from Ills pocket
throw (t on tlio gentleman' lap nnd tuildi
"If you can't nITord to glvo nny mora than
that you can't nITord to glvo nnythlng. I
can licttcr nirord to lino It than you "
Then pulling n cigar from his ockot nnd
handing It to thonstonlMied olllclnl ho added
"Hero, you may snioko with mo, too.1
Then ho grinned n wicked grlu mid ttnlkcd
out of tlio room To sny that ordinarily
good imttircd olllclnl wm nonplused would
Ik) putting It mildly lit- crown wi. car
nilno tinted, hi eye wuro green, nnd he
ndded, "Well, I'll lw bloncd."-
Knusas City Tlmea,
.nulling Ahrnil.
At Oiwllkn n vcncrnlilo colotvd ninn stniek
tr.o for it quarter to "help repair our nicctln'
Iioiho from ilamngo by do cyclono."
"Wlicro Is the meeting house!" 1 uskod,
"ItlRht olior jero nlwut n tnllo."
"is It n aiethwllitl''
"Yes, sah."
"You nro tho (If Hi jwrsou thnt hns nsked
for inonoy for that church within thrco
hours. When was It dntungod by ncyclonof"
"A spell ngo. '
"I rodo by It yesterday, nnd It nptwired nil
"Yes, rah, It nr' all right, now."
"Then what do you wnnt of mora inoneyf"
"Wo nr' cxpectln' nnoilcr cyclono In do fnll,
lab, nn1 It' gwltio tcr Iw n hustler nn' blow do
splro cl'nr olV. lzo collectln' ngln It, snh, no
wo kin mnlio quick repa'rs." Detroit 1'roo
Nvimi In Smltlirlllc.
CoiTeo h going up nnd down In tho market.
It will (.oon liavo no grounds to htniul on.
Ouo of tho colored dudes of Uinltli villo sub
scribed lo tho jKipcr yesterday nnd paid for
tho publication of tho following:
JIIjS Ucss Jlnkius visit HIsa Polk-nl IiI
liouso nn sing n song call "Curry Mo Homo"
to loud nppluud.
Mr. Williams respond nn mek n henby
Fpccch on trntcrmllllon tltne.
Miss Barn Jones bIio cum lu nn duueou
dimco wld Mr. .link Ins. Doth lanco longer
dan do other. HinithvlUo (On.) News.
A Drawback to tho I'lncc.
"I say, stranger," said n puscngcr, ns tho
train stopped nt a small Nebraska station,
"is thero nny show lu this town lu tho real
cstnto lino for n man who lias got big money
to investl"
"Show," repeated tho citizen; "ho enn
doublo It overy twenty-four hours."
"You don't say sol What's that nwful
uolsa down tho streetf"
"Thnt's our now brass baud."
"Well, I guess I won't gtt oIT." Tho
Which Ought to Satisfy ,1.ny Woman.
"1 nm nfrnid, Edward," cho sadly Bald,
"that 3-ou do not lovo mo now ns you used to
do. You seem so cold, so absent minded, so
indifferent to-night, 1 fcartho ardor of your
lovo is dying out."
"No, Clara," Bald bo desperately, "It Is not
that. If I bovo seemed to you distrait to
night, forglvo mo. I lovo you now ns 1 liavo
always loved you ns 1 always shall lovo yon
till timo shall cihL Tho wholo truth is, i'vo
got a corn." Somervlllo Journal
A Question of Time.
Customer That wns splendid insect pow
der you 6old mo tho other day, Mr. Oilman.
Mr. Oilman (with Jtutiflablo pride) Yen, 1
think it's pretty good tho best lu tho trade.
Customer I'll takonuothcr couple of pounds
of it, pleass. Mr. Oilman Two psuudsl
Customer Yes, pleaso. I gavo tho quarter
of a pound that I bought beforo to iv black
beetle, nud It inado him so ill that I think if
I keep up tho treatment for about a week I
may mnnugn to kill him. Fun.
First Jow;ler I understand yon nro going
to Iw miirrhid, Flywheel. Miss Croesusf
Second Jowoler Yes.
First Jowoler A very nlen girl; open face,
neat bauds nud all thnt, but 1 cuu't say much
for her beauty.
Second Jowolor Ah, but you must remem
ber sho is full Juwuled. Uurlitigton Frco
And IIo Was Hired.
"So you vunt n situation In tho editorial
rooms) Stoma to mo you'rotoo old. You
must bo near SO."
"Pin 83."
"What is your spsclnl lino of work!"
"Writing up Drlght Sayings of tho Chil
dren.1 " Nebraska Stato Journal.
Tho Ijist aiim Who Oiiulit to Complain.
Bald Headed Man Hero, waiter, this is nn
infernal outrage. Hero is n hair swimming
around in tho soup.
Waitor Well, don't mako such n fuss
nbout n trillo. Hair Is what you need most,
nin'A itf Texas Sifting
A Cliunge of Uanc.
"Dimple, hnvo you been nt tho preserves!"
"No, maiuina," was tho faint uiuwcr.
"But thoy nro nil over your face, child I"
"Den, mamma, I dess eo preserves 'uvo
been nt mo," replied tho llttlo miss promptly.
Detroit Frco Press.
t'nuso for Leaving I'nrlli.
A burglar committed btilcido In ouo of tho
west sldo stations. Ho couldn't stand tho dls
grace of being tho only ono of his craft who
over wns caught by a Chicago policeman.
Chicago Mall.
Telling I'olnts.
"Did Bensloy mako any good points In bis
fpeoch?'1 asked Bngloy of Balloy.
"Yes, qulto a good innnj'. They were
mainly exclamation points." Life,
lscntlii2 nn Insult.
Muglstrnto Bain Johnson says, Dolpbus,
that you called him a liur. What did ho call
Dolpbus Nuflln, snh. Ho snyed dat ho
treated soch disillusions wlf sllont coutomp'j
hii' don I cut liini, yo houah, No ynllur nig
guh kin tivnt mo wlfsilfuteoutouip'i 1'iMia
genunsn, I Is. Texas Blftrngs.
Itiirdetto I'oim Out Xomn I'tllo.ophy nn
a I'nlufiil .NuldrcU
Dear llttlo limn, so you nro back In school
ud you don't llko It pretty well I don't think )
Well, that's natural nud hoy like, but it Isn't
right doing to school Is great fun, after you
nro too old to go nny more, which will Im
when you nro old enough to die, nnd thon 1
Mippotoyou will go to nuothor school. When
I wns your ngu I don't think I liked going to
school iv llttlo bit, hut thnt wan Ixviitito I
didn't hnvo very much sonso when I wai
young. I only worked nnd studied nbout six
nr Riven hours n day then, nud hud but thrco
teachers to oliey, I win tlio ghtddest Iniy you
over know, hen I got out of school, nud you
never know mo. Hlnco then I hnvo Iiihmi nt
woik nil tho time, nud hnvo toolx'ymoro peo
ple, than I oversaw lu n school house nt una
lime. Thooditorsnys If I don't hnvo my com
IKisltlou ready by Friday night ho won't hnvo
itnt nil, the foreman says ho must have It In
hand Friday morning nr it won't go in, tho
proof lender snjs If ho docAii't get the proofs
Thursday night they will have to rend them
selves nnd tho compositors thero nro seventy
ilvior eighty of thcm-dcclnro they will strlko
If I don't write more plainly nud punctuate
properly, und soll better. Then I used to
rcctto beforo n small clnsx, or tho kcIiooI nt
most, nud now I liavo to rend my composi
tion nud say my piece before nil tlio subscri.
born, When I wns u boy the teacher corrected
me In the presence of the class, but now the
critic, a terrible fellow lu Is, corrects mo
right out In print beforo overyliody, nud
when I don't sny my lesson to suit him
doesn't ho dust my Jacket for me, thought
The way ho makes tho Hut lly Is n caution,
nud tho worst of it is I daren't "holler," und
so get over it; thnt would only make htm
worse, nud bcsldo everybody would lnugh
nt mo nnd cry, "Glvo him some more lu tlio
sniiio place." IIo can nnd does say Justus
nice tilings us ho does rough oue, but you
liavo to dot your I's nnd cross your t's to earn
his approval. Then I liavo to work for my
landlord, mid tho grocery linn nud thu tax
collector nud the shoemaker, und I don't
know how ninny other tieople. I have to buy
oil for tho marching club of my party, und 1
have to march In the dust or the mud, nud
listen to long biMcchcs nud make some longer
ones myself. I have to say "p'emo" und
"thank jou," nud say "sir" w hen I spt.aU to
the governor; 1 daren't go In my bare feet,
nnd I'vo wily been IWiIng unco this year,
anil then I didn't stay long nud didn't catch
anything; at the table, no matter how hungry
1 nm, I hnvo lo servo everybody else beforo I
get u blto to eat myself, nnd I nm always
tho last ono waited on; n man down in
Begin Hollow bays ho is going to lick mo for
shooting his dog ninl ho looks liko n m in of
lilt word, too when everybody I.iiowh I'm
nfrnid of n gun nud couldn't hit u Hock of
barns anjliow, on a rcht, nud with globe
sights; another mail threatens to put mo in
Jail if I don't pay a bill thnt I have three re
ceipts for, nuil u ixior Idow woman in Itng
alley, who takes in washing nud gin, is going
to suo mo If I don't pay her $10 hecau.-o my
cow tore up her garden, when sho hat no
garden nud I never owned n cow in my life.
I cnu't follow tho circus procession, I can't
stay homo when I have thu toothache, I cnu't
get excused when tlio llsh aro biting; some of
tlio Ihjj's in this great big school nro bullies,
nud some of them nro fools, nud komn of them
nro toadies, and somo of them nro sneaks,
nud Homo nro liars, nud iomo of thoni nro
great, big hearted, loving fellows, that you
want to bo with nil the timo, but they're so
busy you can only snatch a word with them
once In n long while. It Isn't so very much
dllTcrent from your own tchool after nil, only
thu discipline is more severe, nud the Teacher
Is strict, while ho Is loving nnd gentle. But
overy timo you break n rulo you smart for it.
I dout wonder that somo of the older pupils
nro glad, glad, glad, when their lessons nro
nil said, and tlio blotted books nro putnuny,
nud they nro called up into the higher room,
where they will bo closer to tho Muster, nnd
nil tho hard places in tho old lessons will bo
explained uwuy so lovingly und clearly that
never u sigh will puuetuato thn rccltntion,
und never a tear blister tlio pages that wo
blur ami bluuderover so stupidly nud blindly
now. Ah, my little man, you'd better lenru
to lovo your se'jool; you'll never got out of it
until they bend word to tho sexton that you
liavo graduated. Robert J. Burdetto In
Brooklyn Eagle.
A VI Id Tain.
Years ago, when guano wasllrst discovered
03 u fertilizer, tin old friend of uiiuo scut mo
n bottle full to cxiwrlmeut with. 1 didn't
think much of it, but one day whllo in my
garden planting somo cucumber seed I
thought of tho guano, so I took it along with
me into the garden nud sat down on the
ground, scratched n hole, in the earth, put in
my guano und on it placed my cucumber
beed, covered both carefully with tho soil,
nnd while sitting thero but u fow moments
I noticed tho earth over tho seeds
begin to move, nud nt thosnmo time tho
young cucumber plants mndo their ap
pearance. It was such u strange occurrenco
thnt I snt perfectly duinfoiiuded, forgetting
everything cho. The vines begun to spring
nnd grow off like magic, nnd when I b.'gnn
to nilhO up I found my feot entangled w ith
tlio vines. I, however, forced myself ton
standing position. By this timo I was com
pletely enveloped with tlio vines. I made for
my l.ulfe nud succeeded lu cutting myself
looho nnd mndo my cscajw. But what aston
ished mu most was tho fact that when I got
over tho excitement nud wont Co return my
l.nlfo to my poeket, I found my pockets full
of young cucumbers which hud formed in my
lockets, bince which timo I have had no uso
for fjunuo. Lugrango (Ua.) Qraphie.
A Sum Wuy.
"John," said Mrs. Bentley, "supposo you
heard n nolso down stairs nnd didn't know
whether it wns the dog or n burglar, would
j on lio so cruel ns to send me down to llud
"No, dear," said Mr. Beutleiy; "Piinvo n
better wuy than thfit. I'd wait until noxt
morning. If the silver was gone, I'd know it
was burglars, nnd If tho silver wns not gone,
I'd know it was tho dog." liarpor's Bazar.
I'utliorly forotlioiiKlit.
Ho I mubt break olf my ngagemeut,
She Why should you do tlmt I
Ho Well, your father has failed; how can
he support n son-lu-law in the stylo in which
1 liavo lived)
She Why, you goose, ho failed onjurvwe
to meet the extra cxpensil Harper V Bazar.
cz5 f
Profit nnd Ijom.
A prominent legal firm In this city which
does a great deal of business for a rich mer
cantile) concern lately rendered a bill which
tha sonlor partner of tho mercantile establish,
inent, who wiisnccuitoincdtollbcrnlchnrgcs,
thought was too high. Ho therefore took tho
bill to the law linn nud nsked tho chief to
look It over und see If It wns nil right. Tho
account wns subsequently returned with $10
ndded for "ndvleo ns to tho rcnsonnbloncM of
tho bill." Boston Journal,
from llcr Point of View.
Cousin Jnp'c (who hns Just been showing
Hebrew Bible) Funny way thoy hnvo of
rending Inxiks lieglnnliig nt tho back.
Mabel Why, doesn't overy body do thatf--Llfe,
Thn Ai linim ICIcker.
Wotako thofollonlng from tho list Iriih
of Tlio Arizona ICIekcri
AroLonuTiCAL Wo Iumw our rondeiii
will oxcuso tho typographical appear
anco of tho Insldo pages of Tlio Kicker
this week. Wo were working them oir
ns usual on Wednesday, having Joe tho Dig
ger Indian ns roller boy, uhoii Judgo
Bunckuwnckxeii made us a call nnd Jumped
on our collar. (Ireatly to our surprise wo
picked the Judgo up und mopped lilmull ovtr
thu ofllco nud Hung lilm out doors. Ills boot
heclj, hind buttons, spectacles nnd tobacco
box Hew nbout nud alighted on tho forms,
und lu our excitement wo fulled to notice
Tho big bole In our oditorlal on tho tariff
was caused by n boot heel. Tho blurr on tho
poem entitled: "When Baby Wakes Again,"
wnseuusodby two hind buttons. Such so
ciety Item nj wo unrendablo owo tholr pres
ent btnto to tho Judge's siit'duclcs. We hoiio
it won't occur ngaln.
Not This Evu.-Our nnmo Is lielng proral
nently mentioned in connection with tho
United Stntcs ienntornhlp from Arizona.
Whllo wo ni-o llnttcied nnd feel to step high,
wo must beg our friends to hold up.
In the Ural place, wo nro too holiest, sobor
und conscientious.
In the second place, wo are needed ut borne.
Wo propose, to run nbout ten t housniul human
coyoteu out of this territory during tho next
twelve months, and put a thousand others
behind prison bars.
Whllo wo feci tickled nil over nnd can
hardly sleep nights, wo can't accept thoolllso
nor leavo Arizona. Just pass tho plnco nlong
to somo other man nud leave us to do our
work. Detroit Frco Press,
An llUrcino ltomrily.
It was time to go, by tho steamer's clock,
yet sho lingered n.ill nt her dingy dock, nnd
tho mate blasphemed, nnd tho captain roared,
nnd tho rain It steadily poured nnd poured'
o:i tho luckless men who still Implored that
obstlnato mulo to go aboard. With rigid
llmb.nnd n stony stare, with cars ilrni set
nnd its tail in tho air, and an nw-ho-hnw-bo
long and loud, that horrl bio mulo delled tho
croud; nud heedless of hunch und kick und
nudge, it stood stock still in tho muck und
sludge n mule with an everlasting grudgo,
that bad taken nn onth it wouldn't budgo.
"Let mo tuko that mule," said a passer by;
"I'll load him or know tho reason why. I'vj
had somo dealings with men nud iimles, nnd
learned somo things not taught in tho
schools." Tho crowd made way nnd tho inan
drew near, and Into tho unreslsfiig car of
the hnpless beast ho snug forshamol ho
sang of "Tho Letter Tint Novcr Came."
With a voleo llko rt wheezy clarionet's ho
wnrblea tho song, "Sweet Violets." Bewil
dered by tho dismal bound, tho tortured mulo
turns half way round, nnd full lu Its faco tho
man then slugs tho crowning woo thoy call
"Whllo Wings." With a trembling step nt
each fell note, the animal backs Into tho boat.
'Tisdone. But tho undo nhl well-n-day. 'TIs
Us corpso the stenmer carries away. Chicago
"Ain't 11 Cute?"
A lady recently visited tho Lick observa
tory nnd nsked to tco Uirins, tho Dog Star.
Tho learned scientists nt onco turned tho
great teloscopo on Slrius, and tho lady
looked nt It long und earnestly. Then turn
ing nround to tho scientlllo gentlemen who
wcro wnlting for her tomnko somo nstro
nomlcul remurk, sho placidly murmured,
"Ain't it cute)" Just ns if nho hud been view
ing tho latest thing in jioodles. Now York
A Triumph of Art.
Customer (In "hnnd-mo-tlown" store) This
suit la nil full of nud wrinkles. It
looks ns if it had been slept In.
Dealer Dot vas our l.ulost Improved tour
ist suit, mister; uoddlngs liko It In Vlladcl
phla. Dot suit mako nil your vriends dink
you Bhust return vrom n tcrvclvo months
tour off Europe. No extra shurgo vor doso
wrinkles. Doygoos inlt do bult. Philadel
phia Hccord.
A Trillo Mirptlcal.
Minister 'Well, Uobby, what did you learn
ntEchool today I
Hobby I leurpcd that tho world Is round,
nnd tuna on hinges liko that globo in tho
Minister V.'oll, what did you think of
Hobby I think they'ro asking mo to bo
liovo n covd deal for a Miiall boy. Now
find News.
Two ptonounceil ColU, ho wero npivtr-
cntly old nequalutnnoes, mot In fcSoollay
squaro tho other day, nnd nflcr tho usual
preliminary greetings wcra given ono wld,
"Uy tho way, Dan, did you know that
H dead!" DeatlP rV.urned tho other,
"Arrah, long lifo to the poor nnn, nheu did
hodiel" Uo.ton Iludget,
HoiiiothliiK of nn ArtUt.
A imall boy, keelng nn npplo on the man
t' lpiece, beggtd hU grandmother to give It
"What do you war.tof HP usked grandma.
"Well, I RueiH my mother could mako nn
epplopleof it," wns tho reply. "She's con
udernbld of nn nrtlit." Har-vr' Hawir.
ll.ijliooil rrlrmlt.
CUrlt (to busy employer) Thero is n gen
tlrnv.v.1 outsuL', Blr, who wiys that ho U
very ohl friend of your father's,
IJUJi' I'tnnlovei- Toll him I'm enrrv.
I my fthr U dead. Lifo.
Willi Illumiiiniion designs appropriate for tho occasion,
Printed in finest style of the art at
Wesscl &
tstrt ?ri
New Burr Block.
Wedding Invitations, Engraved Calling Cards, Box Station
ery, Fine Printing of all K:nds.
Give Us ei Tria.1 Order.
The Season for Driving
Has opened and we have just received a tine line of Turf:
Goods and a great variety of
Grey Horse Harness Emporium,
1020 O Street.
O Seventeenth street car line of Lincoln Street
Railway, lots front;ng on
Now on sale, Inquire at Room 34 Rk hards Block
Cor. .12lhanclO Sts
Ladies : Fine : Saddles
.TAJtxJffi.arrKirti' uiiimu