Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893, August 04, 1888, Image 1

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Vol. Q. No. 34
Whnt tin Nces, Hears, Thinks and Im
Hglnes. What nre our merchnuU doing In regard to
placing exhtbltsatthe state fnlrl It is only a
month yet until the big diow open nnd It
behooves our enterprising citizens to Im u
and doing. Lincoln lielng tho homo of this
great exposition, its citizens should do their
bout to inuko a good showing, for If mo hero
ot homo full to do our shnro toward making It
a success whnt can we expect of eoplo at n
distance, who leave business und upend much
tirno nnd money to exhibit their wnrcsf It
cost Llueolnltos comparatively nothing to
make a display nnd they should by nil menus
do Hint which Is so littlu nnd gains so much.
An artistic display kept In neat onler during
tho fair Is worth much, oven though It does
notnpNnr so directly nf tor tho fair. It counts
nevertheless during the your.
The Observer Isplensed to note that iUllttle
kick of Inst week regarding tho delay on O
street giving, hns hocu hennl nnd heeded nnd
it is with pleasure that business men totweeu
Klovuuth ami Thll teenth observe tho progiosH
being mudu toward completion of tho (wiving.
Thu grmler hns lcen industriously nt work
nil the week nnd now tho streets tiegin to look
in shape for putting down thu concrete, nd
it Is to lie hois-d that no delny wilt bo ocen
sioned in laying the Inttur.
Lew Dockstuder is nn-uico high sort of fol
low. I don't menu thut he's u three curd
rnontu man, nor u gnmtiler, but uw the ex
pression simply to designate him us n prince
nmong gocsl fellows. Toko him at tho soclnl
or on the stngo, he is of tho sumo happy nn
turonndlu Ids unpretentious inniiuer forces
one to Inugh nnd adinlro him. Thero is noth
ing flutjeious alxnit him, nor doon he pattern
nftcr tho dude hi attire. Dockstndcr dresses
plainly but neat nnd whllo in conversation
with him, ho is as eutortninlng ns though on
tho tKMinls. I don't know of n minstrel man
today thnt is so generally liked as is Low
Dockstuder. On the stngo ho is seen by le
gions of admirers and socially in private life
N ho scores his friend" by hundreds.
The Military band has achieved an envl
able reputation ns a musical organization In
tho short time in which it has been organized.
Their concerts havo been listened to by thous
ands of eoplo with much appreciation. They
huvo been to n largo outlay for mstmmeuts,
uniforms and various other accoutrement,
u)ou which they huvn yet n payment to make.
In view of the fact that they havo and will
continue to furnish free concerts I think the
citizens of Lincoln ought to help them out by
subscribing liberally. There are no better
musicians In the west than Messrs. Ilngnnow
nnd Aschmaii,fiid they have gathered mound
them oidy the best and most talented musi
cians obtainable I want to see tho band
prosper and think tho jieople should support
Dick Johnson of tho Cnpisal hotel with his
usual foresight and charitable disiKwition,
started u subscription pnper Thursday for the
!oiieflt of the tiro laddlei who were so unmer
cifully robbed Wednesday night whllo at tho
fire. Dick showed tlio paper to tho generous
IHitrons of the house nnd a few friends and
fast night hnd nearly n hundred dollars sub
terlhcd. Tho idea is a commendable one and
sjieuks volumes for tho opulur chief clerk of
the Capital, and is an net tnat the city fire
department will not soon forget.
Complying with an ordinance recently
(Missed by the council, I observe that a great
many property owners nro lowering their side
walks to the gradu and the improvement is a
noticeable nnd timely one. It is to lo hoped
thnt the good work will not cease but continue'
' 4
It was rumored about town yesterday thnt
t!i9 underwrite! a wcie to raise tho rutu of in
surance in Lincoln and that an increnso of
twenty-five per cent was talked of. This was
told mo by the proprietor of onoof the largest
dry goods houses, and tho reason given wns
thnt tho water supply being so uncertain, it
increased tho risk. Should this bo the wise It
will make thousands of dollars difference in
tho payment of insurance premiums in Lin
coln und certainly n big kick will Ira Inugu
rated. However, I don't think thut the in
surance companies can or will make Mich a
big increase.
. Lincoln is certuinly in a very crippled con
dition just now as fur as tho water supply and
paving Is concerned, although tho latter in
soma places Is progressing more favorably
than heretofore, lint tho water, oh, tho fil
thy witter! thnt Is where tho great dilllculty
arises, und it Is just now a disastrous draw
back to the prosperity of tho city. Thero is sq
much tnlt in it that it cats through steuni boil
ers nud hns ruined dozens of then, throughout
tho city nnd if It does this, whnt effect must
it apparently havo on a person's stomach, to
my nothing at the horrible taste. The Ob
server has asked numerous persons during
the week whether they used city water for
drinking purposes, and tho answer nlmost in-
vnrubly cnnie, "No, wo can't drink it. We
go several blocks to get a bucket of well wn
tor." This is n sad state of n If aire. Citizens
pay a largo water rate, and oven then cannot
uso it. I havo been told of a number of
instances where jieople hud allowed their well
to go to ruin, that they have hud to dig new
ones at big expense, and still iay for city wa
ter. Thero has been too much "monkeylug"
with this water question and It's time far
fetched that something successful was lwing
done. There has lieen too much scheming
und meddling done, too many wells dug in tho
Mime pluce and too many fingers in the pie.
It is evident that the plant will havo to be re
moved, and tho sooner the bet er.
Diikotu lint HprliiK'.
These springs aro nt two canons which come
together forming one lit tho sliajio of a Y im
mediately west of Battle mountain in tho
southern Black Hills. The mountain scenery
nil iiliout tho springs Is not only grand but is
exceptionally lieuutlful, while tho curative
properties of the waters surpass those of thu
famous Hot Springs of Atkansas.
Thoirbovolsiiiuilroud advertisement but
tisas burely onoin wlilch many iieoplo as
health and plensuro seekers should bu Inter
ested. Hound trip tickets for fH.M, good for VO
days, nro on sale at the Hlkhont oilleo nt 115
South 10th Street.
Tlin (I rent Irish Comedians, Harry
Fay, at the Ftinke Tuesdny,
Thn employes of tho Kunke will tender a
benefit to Manager Melloynolds on Tuesday
evening next, the eocentri; Irish comedians,
Barry V Fny, appearing In "McKemm's Kllr
tatlon." There Is no very deep plot to tho
piny, It being one of thaw light comedies
constructed mora for laughing purposes thnn
anything else. Of Hilly Harry nnd Hugh
Fny little need lw snld but thnt their chitruc
terlzntlou of the stngo Irishman (n person
never mot whit in prlvnto life) le.tvo nothing
to lw desired. Their fun Isof the wholesome
kind, no straining of situation or juggling ot
scenery is necessary to mnko tho jwople laugh.
Miss Isabella Coe, tho leading comedienne, is
n plipmutly pretty young woman, with a
voice thnt -nptlvates nil. Tlin other nicmlvers
of tho company are fully up to the exactions
of their ch.imetoi , ns will bo attested by all
who hnd thu pleasure of w itucxslng the pre
sentation of "McKennn's Flirtation" somo
mouths nco. Mnnnger Melloynolds is n pop
ulnr gentleman, and his benctlt will bo made
the occasion by his friends of evincing tho
extent of that Kipulorlty.
Summer Pleasure.
Now sultry grows the summer air
And soda fountains spout!
lt's to the tutugely Lakes repair
And troll for monster trout.
We've heard about llutt region rare
(Tho iportaman never lies),
Tho trout each summer captured lliera
Are all of monstrous slzn.
At Itnngely trades the fishing's fine
(So run the sportsmen's tales);
Ench finny beauty caught, at nlno
Or ten pounds tips the scales 1
Ohl let us seo hold on a bit
Wo must, of course, bo fair
Some smaller lUli they do admit
Are captured hero and there.
Hut when to Rangaly sportimen roam.
This curious thing we find!
The small fish only they bring home,
The large they leave behind.
Uoston Courier.
Two Kinds f Bjureie.
"James," said the father of tho family,
sternly, "your school reports have boon any
thing but favorable this term. I suppose
you failed in your examination ns usual r
"No, sir," protested tho boy, "I passed, but
It was a tight squeeze."
"Laurn," continued the father, turning tc
hi oldest daughter, "I think I heard voices
In the ball Into last evening. I have told
you repeatedly not to let that young man
stay later than U o'clock."
"It was just II o'clock when he left,
That's so," testified James, coming to the
relief of his sister. "I was at tho top of the
stairway anil saw mm go. iio got away at
11 o'clock, but It was a tight sm"
"Jamesl', shrieked Laura. Chicago Tri
bune IleredtUry.
In nn Italian garrison thoro was a prirato
soldier named Ugollna Ono of tho offlcors
took tho soldier asldo ono day and asked
"Are you a descends nt of tlin famnm
Count Ugollno, about whom Donto wrotel"
"No," replied tho soldier, "all my ances
tors wcro poor people."
"I refer to Count Ugolino who was starved
to death with his sons in tho tower of Pisa."
"ir he didn't get enough to eat, very likely
ho was an ancestor of mlno after all," re
plied tho honest soldier. Texas Sifting.
At the fteaslite.
Dorothy Dut, Herman, I can't answer
you now. I I give me time to think bo
foro I reply,
Herman (with rapturous passion) Cer
tainly, my own angeL But don't inako it
too long, bocauso it costs mo 15 a day at this
beastly hotel. Washington Critic.
Pxrsh News.
"Anynows In the papers!" asked Joo of bis
companion yesterday. "Yes, tho Armada is
smashed all to pieces." "That's old news;
read about it iu my school days." "I don't
care, tho newspapers havo just caught on,
and I thought it was something fresh."
Boston Journal.
A Literary Man.
Jones I say, Smith, I understana that
Brown is something of a literary man.
Smith Literary man, ye. Why, Brown
writes for tho wasto baskets of some of tho
leading nowspajxirs and magazines iu the
country. New York Sun.
A Grovellnc Noul.
Sho How immeasurably grand the ocean
is! It always lifts me above myself and
makes our own little lives and interests seem
so petty nud hollow.
uustavus (who is feelincr nueer and Im.
heard iniperfectly)l don't mind being hob
low If I only dnred fill up again. Z
Foe Kent,
Furnished room for rent, ono block from
University. Reasonable rates. Call atiW
North Kloventh street.
For Kent,
Flno Milieu of rooms In tho Webster block,
furnished and unlurnlshod. Knqulro nt
room 1.
Old l'npers For Sule.
Houso cleaning tlmo is here, and old pajiors
will como iu handy, Tlio Couhikk onico has
a good supply ot SO cents it liuudred.
Lincoln, Nbdmaska, Saturday, Auoumt 4, 1888
The I'.lkn Kujoy Vnrjr I'lennMiit turning
Lincoln 1xlge No. Wl entertained n number
of friends on Tuesday uvctilnr, The cozy
club rooms were n blaze of light, and looked
very inviting ns tho guests entered thervoeH
linn room front tho staircase. The reception
committee, Memm. It. II. Townley, K. K.
Crlley, V. H. HulTmnn nnd A. O. doeson,
wo'comed each nrrivnl nnd u .tde them no
ipinluted ono with another.
Kloven o'clock wns tho time announced for
tie social sewloit to U'gln, but in this enso the
old saying thnt "An Klk social somlou never
begins nt thu tlmo alinounoed, but nlwny
lssta longer than any una nntlelpntcH" held
DiK'kstnderV mlustrtds were among the In
vited guests, nud as It was nearly eleven when
the Krformance nt tho oiern house was con
cludeil, nnd 11:45 when tho session was culled
to onler. In the ineniiwhllo oTeryono enjoy
ed themselves nt enrds, nvullug, soclnl con
versation, according to Individual predilec
tion. At 11:45, Mr. F. C. Zehrung, Kxnltcd Ituler
of No. HO, called tho seslon to onler, Intro-
ducliig ns presiding ollher for the evening
(Mr. A..C. Moreliind, Grand Scretnry, 11. I'.
U. h.., nnd a member of tho older for nearly
tweltoyinis. Promptly nt twehe o'clock,
refreshments being served, tho henlth of ah
sent members w us drank standing, followed
by the slngli.g of a verso of "Auld Iuig
Hyne." This wns butthulM-gluumgof a most
delightful entertainment, Mr. Moreliiiul cull
ing In turn upon tho meinbeis of themlnstiel
tnniK who willingly resKindod. For oxer
nn hour these gentlemen ontertnined the
guests with Ming, iccltutlous nnd tho like,
Mr. Morclmid also giving it talk on 'Klks"
und reciting several plwes.
This wns the IliTt socinl session of No. K),
nud tho members may felicitate themselves
on it most successful evening. Kverj thing
MHslble was done for the comfort of guests.
Iu it side room a buffet was placed, where
cigars, refreshments, solid and liquid, weru
dispensed. About 3X1 gentlemen were pres
ent, and It was after two o clock when the as
semblage broke up.
A ririUHiit ltnnte.
During thu Mtst week several of our citi
zens left for Cincinnati to attend thu centen
nlnl of tho central state and Ohio valley,
and nil with one exception, nfter reaching
Chicago took tho "Monon ltouto" the Chica
go, Now Abany & Louisville rn tinny, litis
line is now undoubtedly tho most popular
line tietwoen Chicago nud Cincinnati, run
ning two trains each way nud nt most oppor
tune tlmee. If time Is to lie tavedtbo traveler
can tako tho night express und arrive In the
Queen Cltv at nbout seven o'clock noxt morn
ing, nud if n daylight ride Is preferred jou
lc-tve Chicago about seven n, in. nnd nn ive
tnmu hour nt night, thus saving sleeping car
Thero Is, however, on this train nn elegant
drawing loom car for thucouvenlenceof ias
sengors should theydeslro lietter accommoda
tion than it day coach although the latter
nre very Hue und afford a comfortable trip.
Ienving Clnclnnatio- the return, trains lea vu
on snmo time ns nt. Chicago. Thu Pullman
bulfot enrs nro tho ilnest iiinde, thu finishing
being of old gold, pressed plush nud nnplo.
When going to Cincinnati it will lie to your
.n'ei est und plensuro to travel via tho "Monon
llmite" from Chicago.
Through tickets via nny line from Lincoln
can bo bought nt nny of theclty ticket olllces
Hero nnd In-rths secuit-tl. Tho "Monon" Is
also the short lino to Ixiulsvllle, Ky. mid tho
south. Mr. K. H. Duitiin, tho gentlemanly
traveling pnsn-nger ngent of this lino, whoso
headquarters mo m Lincoln, will bu pleased
to give full purttculnrs und will cull on nil
such us address him us nbove. All Inquiries
promptly answered, )r by Mr. E. K. McCor
ntlck, general passenger itgent Chicago, III.
ICducutlmi In Missouri.
"What aro you doing now, Boozbyp
"Teaching school."
'Teaching school! Why, you can't spell a
word of two syllables."
"I know that, but I can lick nny two pu
pils together." Lincoln Journal.
Easy to Compute.
"What's my bill!" inquired a Chicago dele
gate of tho hotel clerk.
"Numlier of room!"
, ,,'.'? d,1lu,'t. '.'.uvo a roora- l s,ePt on the
billiard table."
"Oh, sixty ceuta nn hour, please." Tim.
A Wider Experience.
Dumley (who has given Featherly a cigar
from his prlvnto box)-I'vo smoked wore
cigars than these, Featherly.
Featherly Ye-es, Dumley, I s'poso you
havo; but you must remember that you ore
au older man than I am. Life,
Juit Ills Luck.
Passenger What's wrong?
Brakeiunn Tho train behind us can't slow
up. There'll bo nn awful collision.
Passenger And I'll Im LllUl Ti,n,i i..-
llko my luck. 1 was foolish enough to buy a
return ticket. Dotrolt Froo Press.
A Question of Time.
Young flappy I was knocked seusoleea by
polo ball two years ago.
Old Sappy How long beforo you expect to
Easily Explained.
Employer-You come, to your work later
and later, young man. Can you explain itl
Clerk-Yes, sir. 1 go to bed later and
later. fow Haven News.
is entirely overcome, i ho blood Is purified,
If you will take tho trouble to investigate enriched and vitalized, and carries health
tho subject for yourself, you will find St. ' '""wul ot disease to every organ. Thostom
Patrick's Pills to lw tlio most ierfect catling I 1'" ' tono, on1 "trengthened, the apjietlto
tie and liver pills in use. They not only I "torw'1 Tll kidneys and liver are roused
physio, but cleanse tho entire system and leg-1 aw Invigorated. The brain is refreshed,
uliito tho liver and bowels.
Hold bv W .1 I
I tinier.
Of Interest to All.
Tho Union Pncillo lUillwny. "The Over
1I1I1II lllllllll I I II VII HILT ILL.IKUI IIAliu .,. ill . . A . . ..
Inii.l I.v.t..ft IT I.. s .1
,. i ..... i i '""7"" ' coiiqueio ing ktiiioii to tuo multitude at take do, O.
uinl. i.E ' lw,nVh,,SU ,?' ',ll'"l. I Hunditv und an ablo lecture on Satun ay.
fri ', irh ,Vv c"' f'"1 WnaWKton Terri- His text was "Thou, Therefore, Endure II.rd
lory, doMTlptlvo of tho agricultural, stock ii,.--H Timothy II, II, and his sermon was
raising and mineral rwroms., tho cllnmto entitled "The Martyrs of Kverydny Life
for n.,e " A" "m'm' Nb' vlslttho c,,ureh tomorrow, rend It; It will do
' l,K' you good,
A I'rospeclus an, Itevlnw ,r Aiuiuenietits
at the Funke,
The wizard, the uinglciau and the mnii of
wonderful feats, Is announced fur two nights,
noxtwts-k, commencing Thursday. Alien
tettalntnent thnt constantly excilea tho curi
osity nnd icqnlrea no thought to Appreciate
will ulivnys be sipular. This Is tlio nature of
Prof, Hermann's Illusions. His Isgauenter
talnneiit Hint the greatest minds havo found
enjoyment In. It In relaxation pure nud sim
ple. Hermiinu Is ono of tho few men of his
kind who kis-jm abreast of the Unit In the
inatjer of what is known no "Mingle." Kvery
trip abroad enriches him iu this regard and
his own constant exierluieiitliig results ovei y
few months In somo new mid wonderful
nccompllshmviilM of sleight ef hand mystillca-
tlon, In addition to his puzzling tricks and
"aerial suspension" nets he gives during his
engagement m nw nnd improved version of
his decapitation feat. He now accomplishes
it with tho aid of it stage drnssl in black and
a peculiar nrrangemunt of lights. It is much
more Impressive, and when tho trick hits I icon
sulHcuuitly rehearsed the mysterious charm
will hf greatly enhanced. It Is it remarkable
entertainment altogether.
Folttwlng Is from tho New York .Vim: Fro
fessnrlHcrmaun's entertainments of sleight of
hand pavo scored at thu Illjoti, anil his en
gagement Is prolonged. Ho has had the grat
illcntlpn of amusing thoroughly fashionable
houses at tho Bijou. His wife, who nrsisU
him, Is nn English woniau, with n faculty of
wearing pretty costumes gracefully.
This great comedy event takes placo Tues
day evening nt FunkuV on which occasion
"McKenann's Flirtation" will bo staged for
Mnnnfer Malteynnlds benefit. Tho pbtytJa,
ono mat abounds in pure refined Irish Intellect
nud hns been received everywhere with tho
utmost Mttisfnction, Seats on salo nt the
oMra house stage entrance Monday morning.
Tuesday night at Fuuko's witnessel tho
first minstrel of tho neuson nud considering
tho weather tho house wus u very large one.
Tho organization is ono of tho best on tho
road, tho artists ap)eariug on tho program
all being xmscjKcd of some peculiar talent.
The music nnd singing wns all new and of a
very flno order, and while thu cast Is not us
largo as some, tho ierformanco given sur
iMihscsmostof tho so-called gigantic minstrels.
Beelul mention Is duo Guoro K. Muriou
wlioiuwork us end man und In Italian dia
lect was ti t Iculnrily well execute I. In "Tho
Monkey and the Dude," a comlo song, ho ro
ccived un immense applause. Arthur More
land at center was a good iinturcd, clever
interlocutor. "Tho Arrow und tho Bong," a
buss solo by H. N. Frillmau, wiwono of tho
most artistic renditions of tho evening. He
has h jiowerful voice and uses it to excellent
advantage. John Duvis sung Howard's
"Huilor Boy's Iloturn" with good effect, re
ceiving a hearty cucoro. Iiw Dockstuder,
the geueml fuvorito, as usual wan ujiplaudeil
as soon us ho entered uikiii thu stage. His
"MisllU'' aro sprightly und very enjoyable.
mTIiu orchestra is ono of tho best we have
ever heard with a minstrel company nnd thu
various siiecialitfeH were excellent, there be
ing notlccablo that no old chootuuta were
given out or old Jokes warmed over, and
taken from liegiuniug to end Dockstuder's
minstrels ga von very Hue iwrfonnance which
tho lurgentidieiicu duly appreciated,
Clossl tlieir week's engagement Saturday
evening, nud playtsl "Ono Liu Leads to An
other" liefore a lnrge nnd well pleased audi-
eneo. for a popular price attraction this
company Is certainly ono of tho best on the
road, Tlieir plays are nearly all original and
the company is conqioscd of first class merit.
The engagement, notwithstanding the warm
wenther, wns very successful.
To Our I.KWjer.l'rleiHln,
During tho ixist week Thk CouitiRK ofllce
has turned out som j elegant fqiocimeii iu law
briefs, one numbering nearly a hundred
pages. We would llko our fi lends of the
legal fraternity torememlier that In this clans
of work we excell all others and that our
prices aro as low as tho lowest. Calls by tele
phono, No. '.&!, promptly answered and all
work left nt our ofllco In Burr block done
neat, quick and cheap.
Vlc;ar nnd Vitality
Are quickly given to every part of tlio body
by Hood's Sarsa)arilla, That tired feeling
lno ",""1 "m" INir n,,a reauy for work,
Try It.
Ilr TMliiingo nt Ohio's Chautauqua.
This ablo divine delivered a vory Interest-
JsssssssV'4 Bw
A lleimiUiil lu,m ,y Mr. Urv, V. Mnrloti
of lioehsisiirr's Mint trot.
Written for the Cdi'nikii,
An actor! well n nice fellow Ns-lallv.
.. t . . . . i '
, A' i you'll Unit In n lougdny's renin,
lliit Hint mill. I a worlcfof gny retrls,
YllllM M.llir..1.- .muilil ,1...... ... t.i.....
e II sdliillthejrolilif hearted Minus
And lueiiarlty lend willing hand,
lint nlien iIin-n the wot l stop to notice
1 lie kissI deeds of Itoliemla's hand
Tiiriui N-rlinin in a MMir hi.u,-,
To sleep In n pauper's grate
Unnoticed, unmniinied by the world
tor whose pleasure so long they ln vrd,
AndlhUlherewnid. Fnino-
A Inilitile, how mhiii iMtiwetl nwny.
At i Hull In ns rottnne, life's moulder,
ror thy pn-M'iico how dourly wo Ay t
A liomrless. a wnndeiltig Kliwy
Im to lite should die In I Is fame,
Jhiiewhiiliavii reckli.nly rutllted
They have forever slleius-d ihi-lr name,
Hirexauiplo, like ssir John MetMlloilKli,
ho oiiiii was n pride IhroiiKh our fatal
Hut poor fi How lie censed to lie tuefu!
Wlien struck down by fnte's cruel I and.
I'.ven lliow lie had nldcd lo plnee
m-nled his uieinory nil Mir granite test.
I.-fs ioH (hsl's Ids genius with
A lilnee upnlNitit'inl,! lm Most,
AkhIii. Kdwlu llisilh of whom nil
AinerlciiMiMiVo ho often wild pride,
Und hut fullered nnd fell for it moment
When wllhlortiit'K Ids heart must lictlil"
Willi iho hiss, Hint song of the-seiix nt
That makes every llls-r turn cold,
From I hone ho hnd lolled for so ofleni
For I'eiiliiN can't Isi repaid In gold,
A Judgment, llh wise ones'
A Jiidgmeiit, 'twill cnnie from Iho haul
upon high, wlnm life's deeds nre welgl.olhy
, .tluilulity
ho w ill Judgo with his nil stsdng eyu
I he sneer or pretension must mulsh
lCneh one must stniul isiinl list,
l'erhniH (lieu tho sir actor will stnnd
A mnii wllh a reeoril nsgissl ns tle best.
Thn New rirst Itemlrr.
"Lot tw go iijkjii the street cttr nud take a
long ride. Do you seo with what swiftness
they mover1
"I do. Tho motion almost tnkes my breath
"You must hang on to your lint or you will
loso It, Do you seo tho lady with tho pink
strings to her lionnttr'
"Yes, I seo her. Sho Is very iwilo and
nervotu. Is sho afraid that the car will run
off tho track P
"Not exactly. She is worried about tho
"Is ho not n good man r
"Ho is a noblo fellow, with a wlfo and ten
children to support, but sho Is afraid of Ills
eyesight. Do you seo that coin In Iter
"Ye It Is a silver quarter."
"No, my son; it is n lead quarter ono she
has been trying to get rid of for a month.
Now ho comes along and sho braids it out
and smiles nnd sweetly exclaims: 'Tickets,
please I'"
"And tho conductor I"
"Ho smiles sweetly but sadly."
"And returns It with the remark thnt she
ought to have worked it off on circus dav
aAud is sho sorrowful P
Oh. no. Klin hi n ttln.l n .. I., mm. I
sho taken thn number of tho car nud will try
to have tho conductor bounced for Incivility
to iwssengors." Detroit Free l"ru.
JCmiilojeil thn Wrons; Mais,
Dr. 8. You don't mean to tell too that old
Sawbones charged you 15 for cuttimr oil"
your arm!
Mr. P. Yes, t!5.
Dr. 8. Now, why didn't you Kiul for mo
I would have rut Ixitli arms off for less money
tluut that. Life.
Nk Help for Nmli.
Si-eno iu the nlllt-u of Ji. Pasteur:
SufTei-er DiK-for, I have come to connilt
you as it last report. Can you do anything
to relievo mo from tho couR-queneos of these
Doctor Those nre a little tho worst
ldis ver saw.
SufTeivr Doctor, thoso are not dog bites,
they aro J, rsey mu-quito biti-s.
Doctor My dear sir, lean do nothing for
you. Nextl-Judge.
A Deep Iimnlt,
"Aw Cholly, I haven't seen yon out lately
with MIm Flossie. Anything the mat tali,
old boyp '
"Yus, Alf wed. She Insulted mo the othah
day, and I've dwopixsl her."
"Insulted you, Cholly! HowP
"Showed mo a little pug dog that iholutd
twninwl to lt upwight and suck tho head of
a caue, bah Jove!" Chicago Tribune.
How He Knew.
"Don't you know who I am!" asked Ous
De Smith of au Austin gentleman, who had
Just roturiiHl from Mexico after a long ab
scence. "Certainly I do. You nro De
Smith, Ous De Smith. Ho help me heaven!
if I hadn't known your Christian num.. I
never would Iwvo recognized you, you have
chunged no much." Texas Slftlngs.
Her Wish (.ratlflt'd.
Fair Daughter Ob, I would glvo anything
to Ms) it real, llvo count. h
Fond Fat hec-Havo you never seen on I
"Como to tho window u minute,"
"An Italian organ grinder is gottlng ready
n nUv. Lincoln Journal.
Call on Fred Schmidt for Dry (ioods.
nut ur eoiirse tmmt I hi hrpt 1 1 hts pls-e
or ruurse they don't occupr much ss lllon
I'.xeepl on Hip nIaro whleh-they grate.
Jolly lf(Hsl fellnus III ll.-lnl n nlul.t III.
k'.tM ' -wvJ
'- - "
Prick Fivk Oientsj
What is doing- ,.n ln World or Travel
Personal Notes.
TleiiewNortliwi-stcriivestlhulesiiow nut
Into Lincoln, nud me perfect daisies.
.. T. Mnstlu is tonilucllng the city isissuu.
gerbii-lnessoftheU. p. during Agent Slos-
son's itbsentv.
(JrorgeFmesnian. thn IClkl.nni's ngen!, In
nil rusticating nt Mndlsou, Must I si hnviiut
a big time, iisiu-unl.
Tliiil'lillliM,,.ii(.iM eniclent nsslstnnt.
wis charge of thn Burlington city office dur
ing his chiefs nhsruco.
The Durllnctonu-Mlhulc will Ik. put mi
nil fist trains In a few t'nys. They nro use. I
now in nearly nil trains,
Huriy llnminh, Iho Missouri Paclllcctty
IKiMeugrr ngent, Wednesday from
hlsnmiilhstncrttloii trip to the iimthwrm
HnriysaysTiictiiiuils thefgrint city of tho
K. II. Hloiton, tlniMindy and ntvoininoilaU
lug tlty ntriiger ngent of the U. P., left
yesterday tov lliirllimton, whero after n few
tiny' visit Im will pc-iii Mlnneniolls and Iho
north. Kd Isn hnnl worker, seldom taking u
Inyoir, nnd tvn trust ll.u rwirntlon wlllU-ii-
out, nun nun mo ti In 1st nil enjoynblu one.
While In Clilt ngo Hunt wick tho Couiitr.u
iiinnlind tin plcmutr ninl It wns a grniilno
rim too-of inutlug Mr, Ja vu Wnllnce, tlio
vet snt lie city ticket agent of l0 Burlington.
Mr. (illmsi is a plover mnii nt the l,iisln.-n
nnd nH'Inlly NmiAl Jollv fellow, nud It Jm
uilftliiiv not his fnnlt If thu Biirllngtort don't
xetllnsliiiionrnestei-jiliiisliieni. Bythowny
Mr. Wnlhro's omceln Chlcngois lliunobhlrsL
thkctollco In the city.
dipt. TlbUtts, the traveling iinMi-ncer
ngent of tliesenlo Hlo (linnde, In
tlutl im 'mi hi i -if. ,,! lenvMto
day for the ungodly clly- of Omaha. The
enplnlnitiortsiiuslnessi.nhlslliio as being
uiiii big liouiii, nml thnt tho rolling koek in
nil presKsl Into ncllvr fervlcuto entry Iho
biislne-s. The Deliver Si ltio Or.indo is tho
fitviulto i outer from Denver to Suit Lnko,
along its Hi e being the most noted scenery In
A linage ten ntly mode on tlio Burlington
g veil Lincoln uu uptown 1 1 eight ofllce, whero
bills or hiding enn be lim.lo out, rates M-cured,
etc. Mr. J. J. Cox, until recently traveling
freight of I hot ntiru Burlington HyMem
wen of ,. irr, ih i,,,,.,, Rtvrn nl nwjMnnt
In the ki inn of Mr. John Dwyerof Heat rice.
Mr, Cox with his ileik will i,.l.. vi...., -
city pnsKiiger ofllco lienilqunrtei-s, and during
... ,ri imiii emeu lunilliiroln thn
new location. This KivW Lincoln buslnew,
meiiniiothcrcontenleiire which will mirely
bo nppieclnttd, Dron in ml u. Mr f.. ...
Udepho'ie (No. SisM to htm In mMtinn ,
and all mn Iters ucitninliu' in iir.,u,t t,...i.
iKssf. Mr. A. C Zlemer will ho nt i..i.i
stniiilnnd llguie low lutes nud liesl Induco-
IlieillS 101' VOll Oil luiu-liwr lrnv.,1 .....
whei font ho globe.
Dtrt Ctuap t Of Prlc.,
Wife What did you buy such an ex
pensive umbielhi for, Johnf
HiitUiiui It was' tho last one of tho kind
the donler hnd, nnd Igot it at a bargain. Tho
handle is solid silver; it was economy to buy
it at tho price I did.
Wife It doesn't match that shabbv rult
very wen.
Husband-No, I I shall havoto.w
new suit of clothes.-.-
no w to get oven with somo men Pay them
whnt you otvothem.
Wo respect our rich uncles for their trreat
will power.
Tho barbed wlro fence Is thogreittestdraw
back on u farm uowadayn.
A Clnciunntl tailor has failed. Ho lost
money speculating iu wheat selvidgca in Chi
cago. X ndvertises to exchange it shot gun for a
trombone. If ho resides iu our neighbor
hood, we would beg him to keep the shotgun
and blow in that, Detroit Frtvi Pivku.
A Hllulit MlstaVe.
Customer (to Jeweler) -Hero's tho clock I
Iwught of you tho other day. It's of no
earthly uso to me, for It gains fully fifteen
minutes au hour Jeweler (examining rJ5k
-My dear sir, I beg a thousand (rdowC
This Is one of our patent autlcifntr- rimo
pieces, made exclusively for o,tr billiard
room and livery stable trad .Kxcuso tho
mistake. Auythlug you may tlect itl Uw
mo i our re(,uiar ciuzeui cJuMr w sUJ .
change it for wiUt pleeauru Tiia.
A Public IlenelU.
"Yes, sir, I ennsider myself a, pubUu rxme
factor." "Iu what way!1
"1 have invented euita for .verM of thu
most dittrctttiug dlstxtsea."
Third CitUen-I fuUy ugiw tvith tvti tluvX
you uie a benefuctor.
"Hoivdoyou knowp
"' ' " undertaker." Lincoln Journal
Plenty Now.
Au editor advises people to "take the fam
ily skeleton to the seashore and exhibit it in
ubathlug suit." As If bundled of family
skeletons wero not exhibited (u bathing sulfa
ut tho seashoru tlallyl Norristuwn Herald.
It Would lUto Cot There, Auyway.
It U saU that klwlng wai Introduced Inti
Kugland by Howeha. There nre lots of fel
iowtj who tvoutd like to lUNcrlbo f3 fc;
inouuinent to Howeua. Burllugtou
i 'ti
f.mjt fjmwmzfp "