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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (June 9, 1888)
1 - - - - -- --- -.--. ,.. mhmti wM WfW"WiiWffEi (CBittW'yMTMyylWtwyffWTVirlwwB.'yri i !- CHU -- V?5- -lrr'--'?-V,-- ""-J? likftwy-T- -r-jr' - - " - - - -y- Mr-'iiw-w b( i .1 i i ii a. ii Tjimwn i rn-fp 'im-im r ft ft' 1 if k b i i K f ... NYK AT T1IK CAPITAL. HE DIOCOUnSES ON THE METHODS OF WASHINGTON BARBERS. Ills Harrow Inn Ktporlenen with i Safety Itiwor An Interesting Conversation II" Overheard In tho Timwirlnl Clmll Tim Unit nnil Hotels of Washington. When 1 got off tlio Pennsylvania train yi terday I wont to it barber shop boforo I did anything cla I hnvo a thick, Venetian nil, chtnclillln board, which grows vory rnpldly, and which glvo mo n funny nppoarnnco very twenty-four lionn, unless l place mv tolf frequently In tho liniid of tlio tartar At first 1 used to shnvo myself, but I rut my solf to plow In such n sickening mnnnor, without seeming to Impede tho growth of tho rich mid foxy lienrd, tlmt until Inst miminor I gave up being my own tartar. At that tlmo I was presented with ft wifoty raror, which tho manufacturer Mid would not cut my faeo, because It wm lmowlblo for It to cut anything except tho taonl Tho Mfoty nuor resembles In nppenranco sov crnl other tollot nrtloles, such ft tho poke shave, tho rond scrajior, tho enn openor, tho lawn inowor nnd tho turbluo water wheel, but It docs not look llkoft rntor. It alio look llko a wpot stmor somo, nud reminds ino of ft inonkoy wronoh. It la Mid that you can shnvo yourself on n train If you will um thli Instrument. I tried It ouco Imt winter whllo going west. In fact, I took tho trip largely to seo If ono could shnvo on tanrd tho trnln wfoly with this rasor, I bad no special trouble. At least 1 did not cut oir any features that 1 enrod anything about, but 1 wo dlsapiwInUxl In tho results and nlso In tho length or tlmo consuiuod In donning tlio nuornftor 1 gut through. I wiw shaving mysolf only from Forty-second street to Al bany, but it took mo from Altany to Omaha topullthomrornwrtandtodigoutthoco-1(liwil(nton( aglllaiou iniiivr nun win mw , iiviim mi" 1 now employ a valot, whoso nnino I Patrla McOlorla. Ho Iron my trousers, shave and dresses mo nnd mows tho lawn. ldld not fall Into n vory gaudy tartar shop. It woo a plain structure, with beautiful Mnaparllla picture horo and there on tho walls and ft faint odor of rancid pomntum and overworked hair restorative. Thoro woro threo chair richly upholstered In two ply carpeting of tomo Inflammatory huo, with largo vine nud tho kind of flowers which grow on carjxsU but nowbero else, I bavo seen blossoms woven Into Ingrain ear pot, varying In color from n dsad black to tbo color of a bepatUed lung, but I bavo ' never aeon ono that remlndodino of anything . I ovtr mw in nature, Tho chair I Mt In nlso had springs In It Thoy wero tnndo of selec tions from tho Washington monument. Tlio barber who waited on mo asked mo If I wanted a shave, A groat many .tartars ask mo this during tbo yonr. Sometimes thoy i do it from hnblt nnd sometimes thoy do it to brighten up my llfo nnd bring a smllo to my wan chock. As I havo no hair, tho thinking tnlnd naturally and by a direct courso of reasoning arrives at tlio conclusion that whon 1 go inio s usrirr mviisiiu viiuiu mw n uinu , I do so for tho purposoof getting shaved and Dot with tho Idea of having my fortune told or my deposition taken. Htlll tartars con tinue to ask mo this question and look at each other with 111 concoaiod mirth. I said yes I would llko a shnvo unless ho preferred to tnko my tompornturo or amuse me by making a death mask of himself. He then began to strap a largo razor with a doublo shufllo movement and to slzo nto'upat tke somo time. Ho wa a colored man, but be hnd lived In Washington a long tlmo nnd know a great deal moro than ho would If hie lot bad fallen olsowhenv Ho spoko with some reeling and fed mo with about the most on paUitnblo lather I think I ever participated In, Ho nlso did an odd thing when ho wont for tho second tlmo over my faco. I novor bare noticed tho custom outeldo of thnt shop. Most tartars, in making the second trip over a customer's face, moJtcn ono side at a tlmo with a spongo or tho damp hand as thoy go along, but in this coso u largo quantity of lather was put in tny oar, ana, as no neeiica it, ho took out what ho required from tlmo to I tlmo, using his finger llko n (mint brush and spreading on tho lnthor as ho wont along. Bo j accurately has ho learned to meusuro tho i quantity of lather which an ear will hold ' that whon bo got through with mo and I went ' away thcro was not over a tiiblespoouful in either ear and possibly not that much. Whllo 1 Mt in thochnlr I heard n man, who eetnod to ta in about the third chnlr from me. taj'tug that a certain bill numbered so and so bod been roforml to a certain com mittee and would undoubtedly bo roportod favorably, if so, It would in Its regular ordor come up for discussion and reach n voto so and sa 1 was charmed with tho man's knowledge of tbo condition of affairs in both houses and tho exact status of all threatened legislation, because I always havo to stop' and think a good whllo taforo I can tell whether a bill originates on tho floor of tho houso or In the rotunda. I could not sco tills man, but I Judged thnt he was a senator or wrgoant-at-arms. He talked for somo tlmo about the condition of national affairs, and finally somo ono said something about ovolution, I was perfectly wrapped up in what ho was uylng, nud re membered distinctly how ho referred to Herbert Spencer's definition of ovolution as a change from indotlnlto, incoherent homo geneity to definite, coherent heterogeneity through continuous differentiations and in tegrations. When 1 nroso from my chair aud looked over that way I mw that tho gentleman who had been talking on tho condition of congres sional legislation was a colored hotel porter of Washington, who was gottlng shaved la ihe third chair, and tho man who was dis cussing tbo merits of ovolution was tbo col ored man who was shaviug him. As snrius warms up tho air about Wash ington tho heating npparatus about tho Capi tol building begins to relax its interest, and now you can visit roost any part of the stately pile without being scrambled in your own embonpoint, 1 tallovo this unnatural heat to ta tho cause of much 111 health among our law makers, aud I freely admit that tho un healthy surroundings of Washington aud the groat contrast between tbo hot air of tho capltol and tho cold air ouuldo havo dono a great deal towards keeping mo out of the senate. Tbo night air of Washington Is also filled with midarin, and Is much worse than any night nlr I have over used taforo. I am staying at the house, which has boon recently refitted and refurnished, bos eloctrlo tails, a both room, elevutor nud mod- erato rates. It Is a splendid hotel. I leave tho mime blank, and tho proof reader can in- " . ' . .. .. ..... . aert the name or any nouu m wasmngion which ho thinks tho aLovo glowing descrip tion would apply to. Bill Nye's Washington Letter to Now York World. A Great Commercial Truth. Johnny (whoso father is nn editor) Bay, Mr. Storekeeper, do you keep sugar, code, "its, calico aud things! Btorekoeper Certainly, my boy. .Johnny Yes, and pa says you will keop unless you advertise. Tld bits. . ,. finrA. Tbo other day n man woi walking slowly up .Miami nviuuQ and encountered n man v alUiiK hurriedly down. Thoy ran Into each ollinr, tatli drew olT and npologlted, and the irnu In n hurry nddcdi "I've Ihniii so mad nil tho morning I couldn't ii' straight," "Nothing serious, I hopn." "Well, my wlfo bad soma photo taken nnd tho art 1st inadn n tatoh Jolt. I'm now on my wny topuni'h hi head." "Can Iscothimi!" They were, exhibited, and after ft careful ln)xH.'t Iim tho gi'iilloinnn saldt "My friend, you nro way oir. Tho work I well done, nud you ought to ta proud of your wlfo' looks." "Uoyoii nieuiifir' "Certainly. Thorn nro not ton a hand Homo women lu Detroit." "Hluwl" "It n fact, and thd work Ii that of n ivil nrtlst, Vou should Iki inoro than witls lle.1." "Well, I declare 1 I guess l'vo lioen too hasty, and I'll drop tho matter right horo. Olnd I didn't punch the photographer's head." "Yes, so am I," mIi! tho other to himself a liu went his way, It wn tho nrtlst himself. Detroit Freo I 'row. Tiistn. Not Necessity. Philanthropist (In tho olllco of nn old friend, a building contractor) John, If I had to 1 1 vo mi blood money a you do I'd retlro nud start n )x'uuut stand. Successful Uulliler lllood inoneyl What do you mean) "Look nt thoso houso plans you'ro studying over now, uilsvriihlu hovels, twenty in a row, pic Mil m clow together that not oven n ily could get tatweou them, horrlhlo little dons with room no), big enough to stretch out lu, nochnuco for air, clenullueM or anything else. I It any wonder Nopu crowded to- riit1ll tlittf -rtl Ifid kltiuituwl In vlco nnd 1y womlur t10 unfortimnto poor "Poor I (Irent Cnwir, man, tho plan nro for rich men's cottages at summer resorts." "Olil" Oinnhn World. Tim l'nllit of II. Jones hnd mnrrlod tho jircttlcst woman In town and Drown had mnrrlcd tho homeliest and thought Mio was beautiful. Ono owning they woro talking uliout their reioctlvo tat ter halves, and 11. n'inarkiil: "I My, Jones, I think you nnd I married tho two prot lest women lu town." Jouch lookul ut him lu surprlso n moiuput, but ho saw bo wis Horloux. "Well," ho replied, coutlouMy, and with tatlil.t it T mt.tu nisi ntmtif lulls' trrlif nlll I i, ' ' ' llrown didn't seo tho point until ho told his wife, Washington Critic. Deafness n I'leusiire. "I am told, sir, that you nro qulto hard of hearing." "Your information was correct, but what about UP "I can euro doafnoKS In n mouth, nnd if I can't euro yen I will charge nothing." "Why, I wouldn't ta cured for a thoumnd I dollars." "You wouldn't! Why notl" i "My daughter plays tho piano." Nebraska Htnto Journal. At Old I'olnt r.nnfort. Young Ijidy (lii hotel olllco, uneasily wait ing for uniform nud buttons to coino over from tho fort) Why doesn't that mini comof I don't want to sit around hero nil morning holding my hands. Clerk (blushing, but tald) Utn or I tag your pardon, Miss, but if it would ta any nc comtnodatloii 1 could hold your hands for you. Washington Critic. Another Huportltlon. Ailclcnt Diiuio No, Indeed, we'll not cele brate our diamond wedding, not with my conxcut, it's unlucky. Hustaud Never heard of thnt taforo. "It's so. I ivmemtar half u dozen couples who cclebrntod diamond weddiiigs and they didn't any of 'em llvo ten year." Omaha World. Who They Worn for. "Why, thee are not tho shoes I ordered. exclaimed tho lady of tho house, with ex treme voxation ; "this is a pair of 10 French kid. I can't afford such shoes as these." "Deg pardon, madam," said tho niosengor, respectfully; "but yoti'vo opened tho wrong package. This W jwilr is your. Tlio other wa ordered hy tho hired girl." Chicago Tribune. No Time to Ioe. Examiner (to graduating medical student) If you should make n mistake aud glvo a patient nn overdone of tartar emctio what would you iloi Student Try to buy up tho coroner, ChV cugo Tribune, A Vuinlly Man. "Aro you n man of family, slrP ho said to a timid llttlo chap, w ho hjd n nervous way of looting over His snoutuer. "Yes, sir," was tho reply; "my wife has n husband nnd four children." Now York Bun. A Light Luncheon. Customer (to waiter) Here, Johu, take my ordor. Doof soup, cup of coffee, roost lnmh, baked Ihmiiis, onions, tomatoes, cu cnnitare, ininco plo nn' ta hpry about II.; my train loavcu in jtut U minutes. Llfo. A lllomly Trugedy ut l'.vory Clip, Sanlou will have to look to his laurels as a orollllo producer of plays. There is n Park f ""'f who Yry tlTnu! he s,mV0" y0U I lirlnrra nut n naw kIihii. Jiidee. brings out a new piece, Judge. A Homely Adugo Illiutrnteil, A certain fat man within ten miles of Bur lington lias a very thin wife. Tho boys have nicknamed them "enough" nud "too pare," Burlington Free Press. Appropriate. Somo tramp recently decorated, In tho nlebt. tho great door of Sing Sing (N. Y.) prison v-ijh tho legend, "Hair cu white wait." Exchamro. S . fiJSiT 2 fey " . HE WAS ADMITTED. Tho Future Mayor (lot In ami the CTiow I'riirei'ileil. Will J, Davis, or tho llnymarkct theater, tell of ft night of minstrelsy In a California town In lYlnluum valley, Ho wan manager of tho show, which was given lu n skating rink, op)KMlto n com field. Tho averago California!! wn not unllku tho nverngu Chi cago theater goer between net. Ho bad tho sumo thirst, the only tlinoroiico talng that tho Callforuliin hnd further to go for his elixir Mr. Davis, knowing smoothing of tho character of tho California!! carrying hi K)lut, bad niked tho olty marshal of tho , town to occupy a sent with him In tho tax ofllco. Tho rush out between acta had ro turned, and Mr. Davis was preparing to count up. A typical miner presented him self, whittling with a knife, tho blado of which was six Inchon long. "You know mol" said tho Callfornlau. Mr. Davis said ho hadn't tho honor, "I was lu nnd went out," tho Callfornlau remarked, turning olf another shaving. i Mr. Davis asked him for hi chock, "You didn't glvo mo no chock," Mid tho man with tho knife. j "Hog your pardon," remarked tho Chicago i man, who tagnn to feel that ho was a long I way from home. "I'm goln' In," Mid tho Callfornlau, "and It you try to stop mo I'll tnko this horo knlfo nnd lay your liver out whoro tho oro ws'll pick nt It. D'yo understand, you hatched faced, long oared curiosity from tho east?" Mr. Dnvl nudged tho town marshal, who got up nud looked out of tho window, "Is thnt you, llllir" ho asked of tho Callfomlan. "Y-s, It's mo, and I ain't got no check." Tho town mnrshal turned to Mr. Davis and Midi "Well, If Hill Miysyou didn't glvo him no check you didn't. And I reckon It's best for tho show to let him go in." And Dill went lu and put his feet on tho back of n man who sat in front of him, but thcru wa no disturbance. "It was tho pvneo fuloht show I ovor gave," mIi! Mr. Davl. "I was In that town somo tlmo nf tcr that and I heard that Dill luul been elected mayor." Chicago Times. Riionttrngnnient A It Is, Patient Do you think It is anything seri ous, doctor f Physician Nothing but a slight lesion in tho muscles of your tack, Tako that medl ciuo and you'll ta all right to-morrow. Patient What makes you walk so funny, Door Physician I've hadntackacho for threo weeks. Judge llclnff Nelgliborly. "I'll tat l'vo got somo of tho meanest neighbors n follow ovor hnd," said a man yes terday to somo half dozen loungers; "tlioy'ro always on tho borrow. Ono family in parti cular send everyday or two Torn cup of browned coffee of which wo keep only tho rory tiest nnd then returns, In placo of it, n most inferior article, Wo'ro going to head 'em off on that, though; thoy owe us a cup now, and when thoy fetch it homo, wife's going to Bet it away and loan it to 'em again I" and he chuckled with Influlto satis faction. "Well, sir," continued another, nfter n pause, "my wlfo has a worso neighbor than that. Bho moved Into our neighborhood about a month ago, nnd in a fow days bor rowed n cup of sugar. Whcu sho returned it, it wasn't nearly so fulL After two or threo such experiences, my wlfo sot tho cup away, nnd when (slio returned for anothor loan, sent tack tho Miuo qunntlty. It was still lighter when It wa returned, nnd nfter two weeks passing back and forth, my wife handed it out nt last with less than a spoon ful in it." "How much was in it when tho woman Rent it homoP queried n listener. "Not asinglo grain I thoy had washed the cup 1" Detroit tress lTcss. Tbo Placo to Trade. Stranger (to tailor) You'vo got a nice stock of goods bore. Tailor (rubbing his hands) Thero's nothing llko it this sldo of tho Atlantic ocean, sir. Btnuijor Pvo Ikhii told that your prices aro about right, too. Tailor Yes, sir; tho prico I put on a suit of clothes is n great lnjustico to my wlfo nnd family. Now, thero is n lino of spring nud summer goals of my own imtiortation, nnd I paid cabin passage ratvs to get 'cm hero. That diagonal, the manufacturer assures mo, was mado exclusively for tho Prlnco of Wnles, and only got into my lot by mistake no offered mo big money to get tho goods back for fear of International complications. Stranger x ou don't say sol Tailor Yos, sir. But I laughed at him. When I got hold of n good thing it goes to n customer every tlmo if I loso monoy on it. I B'poso you will want a nlco, stylish spring suit, and then something for warm weather I Strnuger N-no. I guess not this morn ing. I wus trying to get out of tho way of a milk wagon too suddenly n fow momenta ago, and I want to get a suspender button sowed on. New York Sun. Wasn't Used to It. A traveler was eating supper in tho stuffy saloon of a Cli6apcaku bay steamboat, nnd when ho hnd finished tho meal, tho waiter brought a linger bowl, with that extra touch of colored politcuo which preceded tho ex pected fee, Tho guest moistened his lingers aud lips from tho bowl, nud thou a look of surprlbo overspread his face. "What is thatp ho askciL "Water, sah." "It's kero sene." "Water, rah." "I tell you it's koro seno," bald tho guest angrily, as tho fumes of cool oil nroso from his mustache nud lingers. "What do you tako mo for! Do you think mymustacho U a lump wick! May ta you think I want to ta a torch llflht procoslonP "Salir "Tako this stutr nwiiy, I tell you," thundered tho oil covered tourist. Tho tor r I lied waiter obeyed, and a moment later rc amxrared with another bow), said trem blingly! "I reckon you was right, sah. I dono gnvo you the bowl what tho lamps drip in, Mh.n Tbo Argonaut. Something for Hint to Ponder Over. MUi Blunt I'm told that you havo made up your mind to remain a bachelor all your llfo, Mr. Ivnobchower. Mr. IC I-aw-tag your pawdon, Mlth Blunt; 1 no vali awtbowlsod such a, state ment. Ml B. Then I must havo bocn misin formed. Mr. IC Who-nw-told you tho? ML B. I wasn't told in exactly thoso woit, but 1 was told thnt you hod expressed a determination novcr to marry any girl who JW Vn9W. -o than yourself.-Bcton Courier I Wanted Another Pair. Tho senior senator from Delaware, Mr, Baulsbury, I a gay bachelor of 7 1, for whoso attentions half tho widows In Washington ulna Ho Is very tall nnd very thin. Ho It also very chnrltnblU Ho sent tho other day n tax of his cnstoir rlothlni? to n committal I formed for the relief of tho sulTerom by tho woHtorn floods. nterdoy so, at least, tho story as told by ono of his wicked colleagues goes ho roti'lvtil tho following communica tion lu his tunili "Tho I'ommitty man giv mo, amongst other things, "lit ho called n iaro of pants, and 'twould make mo pant somo to wear 'cm. I found your namo and where you live In ono of tho sx;kot.i. My wlfo laffod so when I showed 'em to her that I tho'tsho would bavo a conltMhuu lit. She wants to know if thero live and breathe a man who has legs no bigger than that, Bho sod if thoro was ho ortor ta taken up for vagrlnsy, for having no vislblo moans of support, I couldn't got 'em on my oldest boy, so I used 'cm for gun cases. If you hov another paro to sjviro my wlfo would llko to get 'em to hnng up by tho sldo of tho lira placo to keep tho tongs In." Now York Trlbunii "Next." Ho marched Into an lusurnnco ofllco on Or Is wold street, olntod to his empty tloovo nnd Midi "Lost It nt Antlotnm." "Your nniiT' tpiorled tho clerk. "Certainly. I was at what Is now known as Durnsldo bridge. McClollan rodo up to mo and asked mo to hold that brldgo at all hazards. I told him I'd do It orporlsh. Leo Font down a wholo brlgado against mo." "Dut you hold UP "No. sir. I was wounded nnd forced back." "You werol You didn't porlsh after prom ising McClollan you wouldl" "No, sir." "Then I can do nothing for you, Very i sorry for tho loss of your arm, but whon n mau makes n squaro promlso bo should keep It, You might cnil noxt door. Thoy always glvo thirty days' credit thoro." Detroit Freo Pross. riicrilltiantt's riiorvnut I'lianoy I'lilonreil. "PhnlrestPhloni,"wrotoaiiamorous youth who Is smitten with tho phonctlo craze, "phorover dlstuks your phoars, nnd phly with ono whoso phorvent pliancy is phlxed on you alone. Phrlonds pliatnlly phathor phorgot them, nnd think only of the phollclty of tho phuturo. Phow phollows nro so phiutidiousns your Phcrdlnnud; sopholgn notphonilnesslf you phoel it not. Phorcgo phrollc nnd answer phinnlly, Phlorn." "Oh, Pherdlimnd, you pliooll" was phalr Phlora's curt reply. Galveston Nows. An Anilcted Fmiittr. "I wondor what's wrong nt tho Pahlerlos' mansion I Tbo bolls nro all muffled, the sldo wnlk's covorod with matting and tho doctor just drove away." "Why, haven't you heard! Their pug has pneumonia." Llfo. Iliul Not Helped Him. Two men sat tasldoeach oMior on n rail way train. Ono of them, putting down a mngazlno, remarked: "That serlos of articles, 'Books That Havo nelped Mo,' has engaged tho nttontlon of somo of tho loading literary men of the country." "So Pvo beard," tho other man replied "Have you read any of tho articlosP "No." "But you havo of ton thought of books that havo helped you, I daro say!" "No, I don't read books, nud nm tueroforo not helped by them. I read tho titles of books, but never turn tho loaves." "You must ta n busy man." "I am," wild tho man who only glanced nt tho titles. "I nm tbo book reviewer for Tho Boston Literary Worlil." Arkansaw Trav eler. Chlnesn Logic A gentleman who is visiting town for a few days carried to a "heathen Chinee" of laundry proclivities n bundlo of linen which ho wished to havo washed within a short tlmo, Tho washerman took tho package aud promised that it should ta ready for Tuesday evening. Tho strnuger was unablo to call on Tuesday, but on Wednesday bo presented himself and asked for his linen, only to bo told that It was not ready. "Not ready," ho returned, impntlontly. "Why, you promised to have it ready last night," "Yes," tho Chinaman nnswored, with a smllo as child llko nnd bland as his languago was unreproducablo in print, "but you didn't como after it lost night." Boston Courier Very Sympathetic. Jiggers I am informed that poor Faker is dying. Jaggors Shouldn't wonder. Ho was sink ing rapidly when I saw him. Jiggers What was tho troublo with him! Joggers Trying to learn to swim in six feet of water. Idea. Good .Excuse. "Jones usod to bo ono of tbo quietest men going," said Smith tho othor day, "mild nnd inoffensive, but now I hear thnt bo is con stantly in hot water with his neighbors." "Well, you know," said Brown, "Jones bought a dog n short tlmo ago." Boston Courier. Sho Missed All Tlmt. Evo was spared ono affliction that casts a gloom over tho lives of many of her daugh ters: Adam novcr bored her with stories of tho jolly times bo used to havo whon bo was a boy. Boston Courier. A Good Sulject. Young Mr. Fresh (complacently) Did you seo that littlo articlo in lost Sunday's paper uboutmo, miss tiaiinoi Miss Sallno Why, no, Mr. Fresh; what was it, a humorous articlo I Tho Epoch. An Vndomestlcuted Touguo In Iloston. First Bostonlan Do you sneak any foreign languagof Second Bostonian Yes; one. First Bostonlan What is itf Second Bostonlan English, Tld Bits. "41 kJ WiiSS1 1? f3-.. .fijHVttlVCHVNfiTlxrTXyRttSr Nrrrnus llenttli nf Ministers. Among minister wo find tho "clergyman throat," which Is generally supposed to bo tho consequence of tho oxhaustlou of nervous enorgy Another cnuso for this troublo ha lately Ik-cii suggcsUxluThntof speaking with tho head low on tho chest, tho position which preachers naturally aisumo when addressing tliolr congicgallons bolow thorn Members of this profesidon nro, as n rulo, long lived. Bonio of them suffer mora or liw from mental strain, nud tlicro I u certain monot ony lu their II vo which must bosomowhnt depressing. Tlmo hns wrought somo change in that fraternity which must hnvo had n Military effect. Tho strict nud rigid rule of action which society ouco wovonround them, nnd which must hnvo been, to a certain ox- i tent,) detrimental to nervous health, hnvo i been relaxed somowhat, and tho preacher of I today has greater freedom. I As n result, It Is safo to sy that ho escapes I iomo of the dangers to which thoso who hnvo gono taforo him woro subjected. It (swell ' known that thoy wero quite prono to becomo I tnolnucholla Htlll tho laliors of ministers aro tho tax uKn tho nervous system, and wo occasionally hoar of ono breaking down. Tho ovll effects aro, howovor, as a rulo, com- batted by tcinjicrato living, good habits, and n complacency which characterizes many of I them It has been accepted that tho affoc- ' tloni which specially dlsablo tho clergymen aro dlntatls, nervous heart troublo, rheuma tism, nourulgin, insomnia and melancholia. Herald of Health. Ten Drinking nml tlio Teeth. Somo years since, when on duty at re cruiting stations In tho north of Englnnd, I took observations on tho great amount of dls oasonnd loss of tho teeth existing among the cIukh of men who offered themselves, it bo enmo n causo of reflection of itself In great numbers. As far us Inquiries went 1 was lod to truco It to tho working classes lu tho manufacturing towns, and this went on all through tho day, whether with food or not. In fnut, Instead of 5 o'clock tea being tho in vention of tho upper classes, it was found to exist to nn Injurious extent in tho working classes long boforo that tlmo. Ten seems to havo a tieculiar tendency to causo hyporo mla in tho tooth sacs, lending to inflamma tion, nnd ovontually, abscess of tho fang, with, of course, dcntralgla at every stage. Whether this special tendency was duo to tbclno or tannin having an clectlvo nfllnlty for dentine, it Is not posslblo for mo to say. It would ta curious to know if medical men, practicing in such manufacturing districts, liad observed tho deterioration of tooth to be coincident with tea drinking. British Medi cal Journal A Corps of Volunteer Seainoti. Last winter ono of our yacht clubs, to all appearances appreciating tbo serious condi tion of trilling into which the sport had fallen, organized a series of lectures on marlno topics by officers of tho navy, and formed out of its own nnd other yacht clulis n body of men who desired to ncqulro a moro Intimate acquaintanceship than tho clubs themselves afforded. Tho genornl idea was to form a corps of oxpcrlonccd volunteer seamon, who could, if aii emergency demand ed it, servo tho country afloat to a similar purposo to that of tho militia ashoro. Tho iwrtlclpators In this movement proposo, if posHlblo, to go oil on a cruise In a real ship, under command of a naval ofllccr, and to learn by oxporlenco wtat tho lifo and duties of a real Bailor are, so thnt thoy may ta qualified for posts of command should the necessity arise. Tlio idea is a good ono, and will, it is to bo hoped, ta diligently nnd suc cessfully carried out. Alfred Trumblo In Now York News. Tho fSpnrrmr Frst In ailehlgnn. No state has oxorclscd mora good senso con cerning the sparrow pest than Michigan. That stato offers one cent bounty for each sparrow killed. Theso birds attack overy crop, whether fruit or cereal everything above tho grouniL Thoy will oven eat tho astrin gent berries of tho black thorn, which no othor bird was ovor known to consume. They aro multiplying and spreading, and aro as pernicious to civilization as an nrmyof Huns. Thoy must ta destroyed, nnd somo induce ment must ta hold out to tho boys to tako hold of tho mutter. Ono cont a head will probably do It, In towns there should ta clubs of thoso who will offer tho bounty requisite, Tho dead birds aro excellent out ing. Thcro is no waste in killing thorn. Globo-Dcmocrnt. Ho Avoids Harsh Language Francis Murphy, tho temporanco rovlvnl ist, attributes much of bis success to tho fact that whllo speaking he novor permits himself to say n harsh or unkind word about tho drunkard or nbout tho saloon keoticr. A quotation from the Talmud Rooms to fit in hero: "Thy friend has n friend, and thy friend's friend has a friend; ta discreet." Now York World. Dr. Tanner's foundling Hospital. Dr. Tanner, of fasting f umo, has established a foundling hospital In Now Mexico. It isto bo conducted on vegetarian principles and will hold forty infants. Tho doctor expects to mako good tempered children nud long lived ones by feeding them ou a vegotablo diet and only onco a day. Chicago Tribune, Grunt's First American Ancestor. A deed for a plecoof land lu Windsor, Conn., has recently como to light, which is mado valuable and interesting by tho fnct that it bears tho namo of Matthow Grant, tho first American ancestor of Qon. Grant. Its date is April 0, 1001. Now York World. Novelties In China. Special china sots, for uso In country houses, aro novelties. Each plcco takes tho shapo of a natural object, so that one Ilnds potatoes in n big cabbage bead and straw berries In a delicately turned up oak leaf. Chicago Herald. Counterfeit NlcUnls. Counterfeit llvo cont pieces aro being cir culated In towns along tho Hudson river. Thoy aro reported to ta clumsily executed, aud somo of them are bo brittle Mint thoy can ta broken by tho pressure of tho uvuL New York Letter. A Vnung Novelist. Dufllold Osborne, author of "Tho Spell of Ashtnroth," recently Issued, is not yet 110. He is a graduate of Columbia collogo, Is wall read in many branches of literature, and has a pronounced fondness for athlotlcs.--New York World. An Oriental Itallroail. European capitalists propoho to build a railroad from Bagdad to Constantinople. Tho distance Is 1,4000 miles, and it Is estimated that tho cost of the road would ta16,000,- 000, Foreign liOttcr. Pennsylvania stands nt the head of tho list of states in tho nillenco of electrical railways, her quota being tweuty-ono miles as compared to tbo Empire state's slxtoen miles. Gen. nnncock's grave Is in n secluded and isolated comer of the cemetery at N orris town, Pa., and la entirely unmarked by slab or tomb. i THE West Shore lErrrr; pESg 57y'pi'4fDnm P0nTLANO.;On.tGOH' The West Shore Is tho only lllimtrated maps :lno unbllsheil en tlio I'aclflc const, nnd sslilo from Its excellent lltcrnnr features, llsnlilcct Is to convoy Information, by both cn and iwncll, of tlio pott resource of this reclon, and the progress of their development. 8ccls1 lllustraUtl nrtlcles sppesr In each Imiio; n1o, scleral pages of notes of the pro press being mailo In every section. Oircon, Wftililngton, Idaho, Montana, Alaska, Utah, California, Ilrltlsh Columbia, and the Pacific Northircrt In general, aro bring Illustrated. Tlio subscription prlco Is only f 3 on. It Is not only tho chraKst ilhutrated magazine In the United States, hut contains artlcloa and en gravings of great Interest to every resident of tula nylon, which can not bo found In any other publication. Subscribers for 16H1 rccclro a largo supple ment every month. Tho first ono Is a beauti ful oleograph of tho " Kntrancc to the Colum bia lllvcr," printed In nlno colors, and each of the others represents somo feature of our lubllmo scenery, Tho supplements are alone worth moro than tho prlco of tlio magazine. Try It for 1HSH, and after reading, send It to your friends elsewhere. You will Cnd It both entertaining and Instructive. L. SAMUEb, Publisher, 171-173 Second St., Portland, Oregon. FAST MAIL ROUTE. DAILY TRAINS 2 TO Atchison, Leavenworth, St. Joseph, Kansas i, Cltv, St. Louis nnd nil points South, East and West. S-Thc direct line to Ft. Scott, Parsons, Wichita, Hutchinson nnd nil principal points lu Kansas. JThc only road to the Great Hot Springs of Arkansas. Pullman Slkkplks and Fkkk Rkclininij Ciiaiii Caks nn all trains. H. G. HAM, R. P. R. MILLAR, City Tkt Agent, Gcn'l Agent. Cor. O nnd 12th Sts. mem 'MllWAUKEE, 'STBAffL aSM owns and operates r.o00 miles of thoroughly nulppcil road In Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota and Dakota. It is tho Host Direct lloute betwcin all tho Principal Points in tho Northwost, Southwest and Far West. For mails, tlmo tables, rates of passiiKO and freight, etc., imply tone nrost stat Ion agent ol Chicago, Milwavkkk a ht. Pawl Hail way, or to any ltullroiul Agent anywhere in tbo world. It. MILl.Elt, A. V. II. OAUPENTEIt,a Oonerul Xl'ir'r. GonM Pass. ,tTkt Agt. J. F. TUCKlflt, GEO. 11. IIKAFKOUI), DAsst. Gon'l Mgr. Aunt. O. V. A T. Agt. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. WFor information In reference In Lands iiiiil Towns owned by the Chicago, Milwau kee St. Paul Hallway f.'oiiipany,wrlto to II. G. IlAWUAN.Lnnd Commissioner. Mllwaukco Wisconsin. Fremont Elkliorn & Mo, Valley E-J.IXjI0?.D Trains leave 0:65 a. in. and U:i' p.m The Ei.kiioiin Vau.kv Lini. To freo homes In N'erthuestern Nebraska an Southwestern Dakota. To tho Illaok Hills nnd the Hot Springs. To Central Wyoming eunl and on fields an cattle ranges. To Chicago and tho East. To Ht. Paul, tho North and Northwest. For further Information inquire of GEO. N. KOUErtMAN, Agent. 1 15 South 10th street, Lincoln W. F. FlTCH, J. K. lil'CHANAN, General M'gor. Oen'l Pass. Ag't Missouri Valley. Iowa. CAPIT NATIONAL BANK s C APlTAt. Hmcic $300,000. a W Mosher. Frosld-nt. V. .1 - Walsh, V. R. O. OutcAlt, Cashier. Pra TAKETHE lissouri Pacific Railway The Shortest, Quickest nnd Best Route to Atchison, Leavenworth, Kansas City, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Washington, Baltimore, New York and Boston. RECLINING CHAIRS FREE ON ALL TRAINS. ttTt'or further Information. Folders, etc, call ou or address , , II. (I. HANNA. Olty Ticket Agent, Cor. O nnd 12th sU. P. I) 11AUCOUK, Depot Tlekot Ageut. sassV ssssl ssWsssLBlBL?sSlZilJ Sa til m I iiT' BSmain I sir r v u&iLt- "- Mfc iJV Jrv ---. 'sM s n-t- IMS jlf-
