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8T0niES ABOUT MEN.
How it WnnltltiRlon SUn I.lvrtt on Nolli
VR n Yrnr.
I kiK'vr of a "man nlwut town" horo, who
takes n great Interest in publlo nlTalm, visits
tho Capitol rviil(vly ovcry dny. is n charm
intt talker, it weloomo guest at tho homo of
many senntor nnd members r.f tlio house In
tluirt. n " lollv cood follow." Imt ono whoso
Iiihvuh of support liavo Uvn something of n
mystery to hli must lutimnto companion.
I Tho other Any ho applied to i nonnlor, whom
wraith in counted hy tho millions, for tlio lonn
of V).
"I don't know thnt I shall over lo nhlo to
. . - 4 ..,..- II 1.1
pay you," mm tioiion, irniiKiy i can nun
Jones hocnuxo thnt la not his imino--"lmt if I
ant over nhlo I proiuiso to do no."
Tho wnntor wn a Rood dtvd surprised nt
this unusual exhibition of candor, nod re
plied In thomimo innuneri
"As you nru so f rnuk," wild he. "you rnn-
not object to my Imitating you. I would
llko to know how you live. It Iim long liocn
n mystery to mo, nml If I give you tho moiioy
Iwnnt you to gratify my curiosity. Now
tlont bo offended."
"Not In tho least," replied .Tone. On tho
contrary you lmvo it rlgiit to know. I hnvo
no Income, iw nmtiy jieoplo suppoM, hut lim
ply II vo on my friends. I entertnin them, do
llttlo services for them, end thou draw upon
them, iui 1 hnvo on you, for my iy. I hnvo
never struck you ttcforo and I hojio I shall
not bo compelled to do nonRnln;but just nt
present I nut fliit broke, nnd you hnpenod to
lw tho Unit limit I met nfter receiving my
board bill, which, of course, haw to bo iwtld,
for I don't wnnt to move,"
Tho senator's iistonlshinont may Iwttcrbo
Imagined tlinn described. Hecovorlng Ills
"brenth ho exclaimed i
"Look here, Jones. It you llvo on your
friends, as you say, why In thunder do you
ttlwnys boanl nt n first class hotel I"
"That's vny enough to nmwor," replied
Jones, without n minute' hesitations. "If I
didn't Ixvinl nt n first claw hotel I wouldn't
linvu any friends." Now York Tribune,
Didn't Know Ailniu.
Ai Artcimts Ward won onco trnvollng in
tho cars, dreading to Ihi bored nnd feeling
miserable, n man approached htm, sat down
and said t
"Did your hear tho last thing on Itorneo
Greeley P
"areoloyl GreoloyP' nald Artotnus. "Ilornoo
Greeley t Who is hoi"
Tho man was quiet about flvo minute
Pretty soon ho wild:
"aoorgu Francis Trnln is klcklngupa Rood
deal of n row over in England; do you think
tlioy will put hint in it bastlloP
"Trnlnl Trnlnf Goorgo Ffttucls Tralnl"
said Artvmus, solemnly, I novor licard of
him."
This ignoranco kept tho mnn quiet for fif
teen minutes; then ho witdi
"What do you think about Gon. Grant
chances for tho presidency! Do you think
they will run himP
"Grant! Grant! Hang it, man," said
Artemus, "you appear to know moro
strangers than nny mnn I over saw,"
Tho mnn was furious; bo walked up tho
oar, but nt bvt enmo back mid saldi
"You confounded iguoramus, did you over
hoar of Adam!''
Artemus looked up nnd saldi "Whatwsa
his other linmol" Now York CotnmorclaY
Advertiser.
Congressional Oratory,
I asked Gon. Mnudcnton, senator from No
braska, tho other day if oratory was dying
out in tho senate
"Tho conditions art) certainly unfnvornblo
to it," ho said; "that is, ifou menu noisy
declamation that might moro nu ignorant
oat of door crowd. If you moon correct
speech and tho nrtlstlo use of lnngungo to
coDvey an Impression, there is no placo moro
favorable
"It is a whimsical notion of mlno that
stammering promotes clTectivo oratory. I
Tcmcntbor n brilliant stuttering lawyer in
Ohio who nppllod for a chango of vonuo, nnd
obtained it. Everything that ho said of a
humorous uaturo always sounded a good deal
t '-' " r lieeauso of tho obstruction of speech,
u-u It seemed very ludicrous when ho said
triumphantly, 'May it p-i-pleaso tho ko-ort,
when I havo f-f-f-f-f-fllixl theso p-papora this
lto-aso will ily away on tho wo-wo-wo-wo-ings
of tho moruingl'" Chicago News,
Who Would Fill Chaunecy's Place?
When tho gavel of tho speaker of tho homo
falls upon tho desk, at exactly 1!) o'clock each
day, ft flag is hoisted upon tho polo that rises
from tbo crest of tho cupola on tho houso ond
of tho Capitol John Chauneoy, tho oldest
cmployo, has this duty to perform. Ho came
to Washington with Thaddous Stevens, "tho
Great Commoner ,n and when tho latter got
so weak that ho could not walk, Chauneoy
used to carry hint up and down tho stairs to
and front his carriage. It was to him that
Mr. Btovens modo tho remark so often quoted.
When ho was carrying tho statesman into
tho houso ono morning as usual Mr. Btovens
remarked:
"Chauncey, I wonder who will carry ms
when you aro gone," Philadelphia Times.
A Good Suggestion.
Impecunious Dudo Cholly, I'vo got to
tn&ko a waiso or go to work, and I cawn't
stand that, bah Jovol What would you
wocommoiull
Cholly You havo it nleo soft.beard. Bor
row a suit of fomnlo apparel and put it on,
and any dlmo musoum man will givo you n
job as a boarded lady on sight. Chicago
Tribune,
AVortliy of Ills Hlrn.
Stranger (to boy) Boy, can you direct mo
to tho nearest bank!
Boy I klu fcr twenty-fl cents,
Btrangor Twenty-flvo cents I Isn't that
high pay!
Boy Yea, Blr; but It's bonkdlroctora what
gits high pay, Now York Bun,
Hut They're All ltotlre.l.
Tho peoplo of Buffalo offer $100,000 for a
successful plan for utilising Niagara falls. A
great many hackmen havo discovered how to
tttillso tho falls without offering any such big
prise, rittsburg Chronicle,
all soma or items.
Tho'fhlstlo hns loen sold to Mr, Contes,
owner of tho MnrJorJn.
A lingo turnip, which has twolvo holds or
bunches of toj, Is n Florida curiosity.
CttmhrlilRo university is to establish exam
inations for commercial ccrtlflentes.
Tho latest Georgia wonder Is mi Insurnnco
firm nt Milledgovlllo composed of two young
women.
Kxtermlnntlng prnlrlo dog nt so much an
ncro Is tho occupation of several men at
Wichita Fulls, Tex.
Thoro Is n fl-yenr-old cow in Clay county,
D. T,, thnt stand 10 hands high nnd
wolghs 1,888 Kiinds. Circus mou nro bar
gaining for hor.
A resident of Ixo county, Go., hns tamed
Mao Jays so thnt they will fly dowu from tho
trees nnd jierch on his shoulders ns ho walks
around his gnrdcu,
Tourists who ro to Florida in Fehninry or
March nro warned by medical men not to ro
turn north lxforo tho middle of April nt tho
earliest, unless thoy would risk ncoullict with
pneumonia,
A schooner went nshoro off Ban llucunvon
turn, Cnl., tho other day, nnd thocruw wcro
In danger of liclng lost. They owo tholr safety
largely to n flno retl Irish setter, who swnm
out through through tho breakers, seized n
stnko thnt hint Ihuii thrown overboard with a
row nttnehiHl, nnd succeeded in carrying it
to tho shor.
The Italian lleet Is lielng got ready for Im
mediate hervlco, nnd In tho unguals ut Naples
nml Hpo.la work Is going on night nnd day,
proiMirlng material for rvjwilrs to tho shiis,
Tho )irlitclvtl rendczvoiu of tho fleet Is nt
Mnilalonn, it splendid nnchorngo protected by
n group of snmll Islands,
Black menslos nro raging nmong tho No
1'crces Indians of Okonagon. Tho liiollclno
men treat tho dlsenso with steam under n
blanket nnd it dip In tho river, n treatment
attemptwl with it fatal result In nearly every
cose. Tho vhthM in that section havo tho
dlsoatio, but It yields to trcutmunt In tholr
casus.
A irty of ladles and gentlemen started to
explore n cave near Clyde, Ark. About 000
yards from tho mouth of tho cavern thoy on
countered nu Immense nrmy of rats. Tho
rats wero vicious and made n snvngo attack
on tho explorers. Two of tho ladles fainted
nnd had to Ikj carried out. Hundreds of tho
animals wuro slain by tho men.
A fow years ago ft school ma'am in Cum
berland county. Mo,, was presented by hor
beau with deeds to sumo California lands.
Both considered them worthless; butn woman
hates to part with anything, so she put thorn
awny. lleoontly sho received nit offer of
STiO.OOO for tho land, vnlunblo mineral de
posits having been discovered, which sho
promptly recoptod.
Hon. llullnr In Washington.
Gon, B. F. Hotter Is hero for tho present in
his big stouo houso oposlto tho southern end
of tho Capitol, I called there a few days ago
nnd found the rooms largo nnd luxuriously
furnished, tho wnllshuug with flno paintings.
Ono room contains nu elegant billiard table.
Tho general Is suffering from n succession of
colds in tho head from which ho can got no
relief. Ho Is a hurd worker ovory day, nnd
has so much business on hand that ho is a
slave to his eu. Ho nays tho dinner hour is
tho only leisure ho has, and he has mado it
nu iullexlblo rule that no matter who calls to
sco hltn while ho Is nt dinner, ho will not bo
disturbed, "I cnuiiut and will not soo tho
dinner lloud," ho says.
Aftor dinner ho goes back to his wcrk,
remaining until U:U0 p. m. Thou ho is
hungry and calls for something to eat. Ho
goes to his sleeping room, lights all tho jets of
the central chandelier, mid tlio gas lights each
sldo of his bod, and piling -in reads until he
falls nxloop. If ho wakes up during tho
night, as ho often does, ho resumes his rend
ing. Ho Is tlio Unit one up In tho morning,
when ho nt onco goes to bU desk. Such I? tho
dally routine llfo of ono who hns acquired
wealth and Is well on in years, but who is not
nble to stop business nnd tnko a rest. Thnt
will only como with tho end of life, Fuller
Walkor in Now York Graphic
Contiiglon of llellgloua Kiuotloiu.
As concerns emotions connected with
religion, tho contagion of them lias been
notorious In nil agtw, for good or ovll, no
cording to tho character of tho religion In
question. Tho intoxication of tho dances of
old Mnmads and modern dervishes; tho
shrieks ami solf wounding of tho priests of
Bool and Cybclo; tho frenzied scenes of sacri
fice to Moloch nud tho Axtco gods, and 100
other examples will occur to ovory reader.
Probably those ou tho largest sealo of all
recorded In history wero tho ilrst cruxados,
when "I2uroo precipitated itself ou Asia" in
a delirium of religious enthusiasm, caught
from Fotcr tlio Hermit and Bernard of
Clalrvnux. Tho outbursts of tho Anabap
tists and Flagellants nnd Prophets of tho
Covonncs, In Christlandom, and of Moslem
fanatics under prophota and mahdls (of which
wo havo probably by no moans heard tho
last), and llna'ly tho revivals of various sects
in England and America, and tho triumphs
of tho Balvntlon Army, aro all instances of
tho iort played by tho contagion of emotion
In tho rollglon of tho community at largo.
Fortnightly Hoviow.
A Natural Inference
Niagara Landlord You look tirod and
thirsty. Won't you hnvo a glass of wutcrl
Cautious Visitor (who has read about tbs
-lli)-How much In ItJBuffalo Drift.
A llcllef to lllnuuU.
:ss:vN
A Common Sense View.
Ail amusing incident happened at a recent
meeting of tho Associated Charities in Boston.
A JHXjr woman related how sho had struggled
in privation, finding tho utmost dilllculty in
procuring work, nud how sho had nt length
come to tho conclusion that death was bettor
than life. Sho resolved to commit suicide,
when it occurred to her that If sho took her
life her Uxly would bo ignonilnlously hurried
to a xiuior burial. This took a keen hold of
her woman's vanity, nnd tho prospect was
ono by no menus to bo endured, Sho there
fore set herself, with determined toll and
patient thrift, to necumuluto mouoy enough
to defray tho oxiwuso of decent burial. When
sho had gathered, by littlonud little, tho sura
necessary, it second illumination of common
senso canto to her, (mil sho concluded that on
tho whoto it would bo qulto as well to llvo
and enjoy tho monoy as to kill herwolf for tho
biilco of being burled with it, Arlo Bato In
Providenco Journal
A BOON TO PHYSICIANS.
BerncTs Physician Office Register
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0111
The nbovc cut shows Register open. The book Is prepared with especial reference to Improving the system of recording calls, visits, etc. It Is complete, simple
henstve, nnd ns a labor saving method of keeping accounts, will at once commend Itself to every Physician In the land. Your attention Is called to the fact that the
account ngnhut n patient I'ou an kntirk Yicah is contained within n space three Inches In width.
This book Is I3xt7 Inches; contains 100 pages; each page divided Into 7 spaces, thus providing for 700 accounts, contains a condensed cash nccount showing (on one
page) ensh rccclptsfro both "regular" and "transient" patients for each day In the year, besides 4 additional ruled pages for memoranda, such ns "the address of nurses,
cnts" "private consultations," etc., etc. The book Is alphebctlcally Indexed on linen tabs, substantially bound Russia back nnd comers, cloth sides, spring
tigc
nt
StCTIONM. VIEW, SHOWING
AMMIGEMCNT OF ALTERNATE LONG AND SHORT LEAVES
l'etur Heretic's linmurlallty.
Fetor Herdlc, a millionaire lumberman,
died tho other day. Not n jurist and states
man llko Lord Brougham, ho bids fair to
bocomo immortal for a similar reason,
namely, by attaching his name to a novel
and convenient stylo of carriage. In Wash
ington tho "Ilerdiu" has become an "institu
tion," und tho merits of tho conveyance,
modlflod us it may bo to meet local condi
tions, will probably lead to Its general intro
duction ut n btreetvehlclo for hire. Now
York Commercial Advertiser.
Turning n Itefmctory Convict,
A flro coniMtny was summoned by tho
prison olUelnls ut Mobllo to turn a stream
uponiireinu'tory prUoncr, who was armed
withnduk. Wbilu ho was attempting to
dodgo t lw h, cold wutor tho ofllcers rushed
Uoii him and overpowered hUu. Chicago
News.
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Prices, 700 Account Office Register, $5.00. 1400 Account Office Register, $8.00
BERND'S POCKET REGISTER.
Its Advantages are as Follows: .... --
Tansfcrgi'S ' 'exiiig. , .
ng of Patient's name for entire
3d. It enables you to keep the run of your accounts without referring to auxiliary books.
.th. Can he commenced nt any time during the year.
5th. The price Is far below the cost of keeping accounts In the old style, viz: 2 Visiting List, Journal nnd Ledger this 'ook
combining nil three.
This cut shows book open, with exumle similar to tfoil shown ubow. Cipher code Is embossed in gilt on Inside of cover.
The RegUter when closed Is 4x7 Inches, convenient she to carry In pocket.
The lines of the short leaf arc adjusted to the long. When the short leaf Is turned to the right, .the first half year Is visible.
The Book Is Gilt Edged, bound lit Black Seal flexlbtc with Inside pocket and clastic tablet. Contains condensed cash account,
showing nt n glance Receipts front Regular and Transient Patients for entire year besides eight Memorandum Pages, Pencil and
Holder, nnd Is closed by a Silk Elastic Band.
Extracts from a Few of the Many Letters Received,
I nut gratified to say that for the first time In long years of practice, I am able to keep my accountsIthout having to suffer
the drudgery of cumbersome book .keeping Dr. 11. Tuholskc, St. Louis.
It Is just the thing I want. Dr. G. Swan, Hartford, Connecticut.
The book is a treasure to any busy Doctor, it saves an amount of tedious work at the end of the month which is particularly
agreeable. Dr. E. A. Cliapoton, Detroit, Michigan.
I have lost enough this A. m. to pay for the book.havlng to make out an account In haste. Dr. Jno. Boardman, Buffalo.N.Y
It is by far the most complete work of Its kind I have ever met with shall take pleasure In recommending it to my friends
in the profession. Dr, S. II. Chester, Kansas City, Missouri.
I regard it as the only Register in use adapted to the Physician's requirements. Dr. J. T. Kent, St. Louis, Missouri.
For the past fifteen years I have used several kinds of Registers, all very good, but none beginning to compare with that
purchased from you. Dr. W. C. Barker, Hummellstown, Pennsylvania.
I have found It useful and exceedingly convenient. Dr. Benj. T. Shlntwcll, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
I mut congratulate you on the Introduction of such .1 perfect method every member, of the profession should extend to
you their appreciation by adopting the same.-Dr. Win. Bird, Chester, Pennsylvania.
I would not do without It for fifty dollars a year. L. W. Clark, Rushvllle, Illinois.
PRICES,03 Account Pocket Register, $3.00.
440 Account Pocket Register, 4.00.
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Western Agents,
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA.
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