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A FEW GOOD 8TOmE3.
nn Htn-nsKi tub nmt inhinuatioi.
From whatever section of country Ameri
can poino u occasions like this tlioy w III In
dulge In dinner nnd speeches. Well, dinners
nnd fjiccvhos naturally go together. Tlioy
ro very much ollko In ono niecl each Is
apt to give ito much more gratification to tlio
xrfornur than to tlio lookers on. Tlicro Is
ono consolation which n speaker always linn
when given so coDiprclicnaho n toast ns tho
ono allotted to tuo. Ho feels tvnfioimhly suro
Unit If ho dix'S not I'xhntist tlio subject ho will
tho audience. Living In tlio middle states, I
havo hnd ocmloii to olwcrvo lunv vigorously
a uiuti on cither side of Miipou nnd Dixon's
lino resents Mug mistaken for n nuin living
on tlio other side. Particularly I tho ICcu
tucklnu shaken to his nervous centers when
laken for nn Imllnnlnn. I remember tho
case of a Kentuckliin, with n mildewed
countctinuco hint a funereal look on Ids fare,
who Mini sitting In u rnllronif tniln which
was running south ucroe tho Ohio river. An
other Keirtucklan edged up to him ntul at
tempted to ojkmi conversation by sayingi
"You're from Indlnnn, I believe, sir." Tho
stranger glared lit him with n look of disin
heritance on his countenance nnd soldi "Xo,
snh; I've been sick. That'll what makes mo
look so had I"
tiik noimn KNOUOIt 1Y)U HIM,
From tho solidity of this nudlciico I should
judgo that tho southern state iiro fully rep
resented. I may say hero what a man In a
Vermont regiment wild ono night on tho
picket lino during tlio Into scuffle. Ho wns
posU.nl well In nilranco with orders to glvo
prompt liiforiiuitlou ot nny ndviiuco on tho
part of our friends, tho enemy. About mid
night n quartermaster's horse in their nrmy
broko loose from n wngou nnd started straight
for our lines. Hnlfn dozen men shouted nt
lilin and tried to head him oir, but on ho
camo with hoofs cluttering, trneo chains
rattling nnd tho remnins of n domornllwd
whlfllotreo snapping over tho stumps of trees.
Our men cmuo in nnd said, with nil tho cool
ncsiof ii Vermont winter, ',Tlioy'ron-coinln,.B
"How ninny of themP "Wall, I didn't stop
to couut 'cm, but from tho solidity ov tho
niovuinoiit I shed Jedgo It's tho hull suthrln
Confederacy,"
nKTTKIl THAN OIlANT'fl.
I can SMnk us a compotont witness of a
jmt iiiimy pointed rejoinders thnt camo
from Mutlicrn people, and particularly from
the sox which Is alouo privileged to say
severe tilings to men. Thero wus n staff ofll
cor with tho Army of tho rotomno whoso
fad was novel muling. Ho saturated him
self with tho contents of ovory now novel,
and took It for granted that everybody ho
met hud read It also, and was prepared to go
Into a critical discussion of its merits with
lilm. Tho last novel ho had devoured was
Victor Hugo's "Les Mlsornbles," but ho could
nover wrestle successfully with tho Intrlc.v
clew of French pronunciation, Ono day while
on tho march ho rodo up to a country girl
ho wns sitting ou tho front porch ot n
house, ami after making n few remarks not
altogether original about tho stato of tho
weather, ho saldi "Havo you seen 'Lees
MlseniblesP" Sho turned on him, snapped
licr eyes, and cried: "Tha'ro a good deal
mo' Vpcctahle than 0 rant's Mlscrablesl"
l'llQUlUITlON IN TUB SOUTH.
"Wo cau nil remember thao halcyon dnys
en tho Mississippi river when men got up
early and partook of something moist on nr.
mpty stomach so as to got tho maximum
amount ot excitement with tho minimum of
liquid, und when a man Invited another to
rtako something nnd ho refused, tho lnvlter
usually drew n derringer on the Invitee and
proceeded to construct an aperture through
tils system. Nowadays tho deadly insult la
tamely swallowed with tho lltpior. Thero
Was a tlmo In Georgia when, If you wanted
to wet your whlsUo, you could step Into tho
house of tho nearest friend, aud ho would sot
eut a bottle and a tumbler, aud not
ouly'.shut Ids yes, but turn his back
ou you wlion you poured outj but
last year when a man in Georgia wanted
to brace up, boforo bo could satisfy
tho cravings of a suffering stomach ho had
to go up a dark. alley, burglar his .way Into
tho back room of an uothocary shop, and
tnako an nUldavIt that ho was seized with an
acuto attack ot Asiatic cholera and was
rapidly approaching a stato of collapse.
"Why, a Kentuckian, whon you visit his stato,
instead ot Inviting you to go to tho races and
lending you a six shooter and telling you to
use it jut as freely as if it woro your own,
aow asks you whether you aro going to rc
malii over the Babbath, as ho would bo
5 leased to havo you occupy a seat in his pow.
do not want to poso as an alarmist, but I
tell you tho btato of society is Incoming
threatening und tho reputation ot tho south
tor hospitality Is In imminent danger of shlp
wreck. From Gen. Horace Porter's sjicecU
at tho Southerners' banquet in Now York.
The Wrong Time.
Collector for tho HeathonIs Mr. Jonos at
homo?
Mrs. Jones He is down In tho collar try
lug to llx tho furnace, 1 won't draw, Shall
I call him up)
C. (hurriedly) Oh, no. I'll call somo other
4Imo. Boston Courier.
"otliliiK I.lkn n Good fjturt.
'Hullo, couductorl What nro nil those
derricks and hoisting tackles at thij station
forr "Oh, this Is tho homo of an eminent
Now York electrician. Ho has Invented a
flying machliw, amUhoy no trying to hoist
it up for a trial trip today'" Burdetto in
Brooklyn Eagle,
Ills Orvateit I"ITort.
Enthusfastlo Artist (showing painting to
frimid) This is tho greatest effort of my
Ufa
Kncoumglug Caller Oh, no; your greatest
offort wjll l to find a purchaser. Homo
Journal,
"i i )
Ono Ailruntuze,
Wo aro again told that California cucura-
lru aro a foot lcug. If this Ij n fact It bhows
us one ot the advantages of living In a colder
i-elfmuto. Now- Haven Jfows.
JmU mill l'oiimi.
Via
L'5J flin! Inqulflltivo rnger (to stranger) Pr I
. . 4 . abtia-klKtt Hm vnli have lnr.l nil nMll-
.i 'VvLvSWranwrr-Yii'Wj haroyou seen oiiyUlng
X tllTrfIorictii,
Wire KrenVrj- for Thentrm.
Wire thentrlenl scenery Is the latest Inven
tion In theatrical furniture, nnd tonll npNvir
niieed seems likely to coino Into practical nw
plication very soon. A painter, Krnat Tew
jwr, set himself toillscover u noucombustlblo
mnlerlnl for scenery, and In tlio end acliloved
such good rcHiilts that his Invention has met
With tho approval of thoso pnrtlcn who nro
tcclnllcally coiWenuint with theatrical re
quirements of this description, nnd shortly a
snmploof the Invention will Im ready to put
Into practical application. Tho only fnbrlo
nvnlliihle npienreil to htm to Isi tho lino
woven wlro gnuze, mich ns Is common for
blinds to tho lower imnin of glass of windows
nnd nlso uwhI for kitchen nnd pantry Nifes,
This fnbrlo, which Is llreproof. can bo woven
so lino Hint scenes can lw painted on It aud
still lto ns llnxlhlo ns linen.
A llrstdllllonlty, turnover, presoiilol IMf,
for when iwlntod Ukiii It was jiorous a lid
could Iw seen through, nnd nil tho imlntlnu
In tho world would not Improvo this, as tho
pnlnt inimcil through tho meshes und only
adhered fust to tho Iro lu ntehes, Ti'psr
set to work, nnd has now succeeded in
making u Nisto oriiiiiiHMltlou which ndheres
qulto tcimeloinly to tho wins, stops up tho
IKires, nnd nhloli neither cracks nor jkiiIs oir,
und forms ii llexiblo grounding iiku which
tho pnlnt mg win 1st carried out. After this
jwsto wns Invented It lieciinio posilblo to em
ploy this wlro gnuro for stage scenery, and
In a very few weeks tho first practical trials
of It on n Inr scnlo will lw mndo nt the
Court theatre, .Munich. Hceno iwilnters nt
Berlin nro already In treaty with Topper,
nnd If the Munich trial turns out witlsfnc
torlly nil tho Herman 111011111 will soon bo
supplied with tho now mnterlal for their
scenes, m It Is only slightly heavier and a
little dearer than that now "In tine.
"Winter Ntnram," for Clillilrmi.
ChnrlcH D, Kellogg, the secretary of tho
Charity Organization society, wns sinking
tho other dav nbout, citi'tjilti mvnlinK ,.i.n.,v.
of charity work nmong tho jioor of this city.
-i uero nro ninny inmiiics 111 iVow York," ho
onld, "who put awny their children In winter
liecnuso they cannot euro for them nt lwm,
sloni thoin, you might say, ns a richer person
mren mt mi uiiuro or ms ciouiing,"
Tho chlldix-n, Mr. Kellogg snld, nro put Into
Institutions w hero they aro fed, clothed and
keptwnrin. In spring they nro taken out
nuil nro allowed to rim tho streets until the
approach of winter, when tlioy nro gathered
up and put back Into tho Institutions ngnln.
Many families send thoir children temporarily
to nn Institution und leavo them thero until
they nro old euouuh to wiirk. Tiin Hmv nm
taken out and others put In, hut this Is some-
wimi iiiucrcnt ironi wnnt might to callwl
tho "winter stonigo'' of children. Thero aro
UinilV lmhllo Instltlltlnim wliloli ntn.-l.1n
tenqiorary homo In this way.
miring mo winter ncnrly nil of theso lnstl
tutlons are full to overflowing. In a few In
stances tho iiarenU jxiy a nominal prlco for
board, but In mast coses tho Ixxtnl, clothing
nnd care of tho children aro entirely fres.
These Institutions nro entirely distinct from
tho day nurseries aud jwor schools, which
caro for children during tho day only. Theso
latter aro used principally by poor widows
who am coniollod to go out to work, but
who cannot bring themselves to glvo up their
children at first. Now York "World.
Tim Army of Hmeltrrs.
Tons of smolbi nro being sent dally from
Bath, Mo., to tho Now York and Boston mar
kots. Tho fishermen havo erected a vlllago
of shanties on tho Ico In Back river, Arrow
sic. Tho Ico serves as flooring for tho shan
ties, which aro largo enough to contain two
mon and a stove, A small hole Is cut through
tho Ice, und tho fisherman piles his vocation
Indoors. Some of tho smelters who Ilsh in
tho open air aro protected from the chilling
blasts by sen-ens of cotton cloth stretched bo
twoen two jKwts. U'hon tho weather Is cold
they build boullrca on the Ico to keep them
warm. Most any afternoon from sovcnty-llvo
to UOO men and Imivm immLh m dm ....,,. r
smelters, nnd they aru a Jovial set. They get
from four to flvo cents a pound for whnt
they catch, and thoy earn from $1 to fi a
day each during the smelting season, w hlch
lasts during tho winter mouths. Brooklyn
Eagle. '
A Cnrloiu RiiiirtUlou.
It seems that tho suKrstItlou that no mar
rlngo can lw a happy ono unlet tho brldo hits
ono hnlr of every niemher of her family sown
Into tho lining of her wedding gown Is no
longer a iiiouojxly of tho French. A young
lady was married nt San Judo's, Kensington,
a few days ago, who hail a general collection
of hair even Including ono fr 111 tho favor
ite pet dog-made, and attached as much Im
Iort4viico to It as to tho llfty yards of mato
rial, oxcluslvo of lace, which her French
maid brought from Paris for tlio wedding
dress. London Lh'e.
Wliuro Xolton Was Miot.
That grand old ship tho Victory, Nelson's
flagship oir Capo Trafalgar, when ho encoun
tered nud bc.it tho combined French and
Spanish fleet, Oct. 81, 1605, wus recently
found to bo in a sinking condition, but, hnp
pily, hns been saved, and now, after weather
ing tho storms of a century, rides nt anchor
In Portsmouth hnrlmr. A pinto fastened to
her quarterdeck marks tho spot where tho
great admiral, shot through tho Uxly by a
musket ball, survived only long enough to
see tho enemy striko his colors. Scientlllo
American.
Night' Krhool fur Convict.
Tho night school for convicts, lately started
in tho Now Jeiviy slato prison, is producing
cmnl rpMilta. Onn of tliri tu'linlniM Im. ci.i.tA.1
a dictionary In his cell. When ho hears a
uqw worn no writes 11 uown oil a slip of
papor. Ho then asks a deputy keeper what
It means. Ho writes down tho meaning op
posite tho word aud tiles tho slip ou n hook in
bis cell. In tho ov6ulng ho studies these slips
for an hour or two. His uulquo dictionary
now conslsta of about 600 words. Frank
Leslie's.
What Is Ni-clfl Nest.
Medtclno cau now Im chucked Into a man
by electricity, whether ho wants to tako It or
not. Tho electrodes of a battery nro satur
ated with tho medicine and applied locally to
tho skin, and tho medicine. U nbsorlied.
Whnt Is needed next Is tho discovery of a
way of utilizing electricity to compel 11 man
to bo honest and iwy his debts. Chlcaco
Horald.
Cnlirurnlit'a Silk Culture.
Silk culture progresses slowly In California.
Tho Silk Culture association iosmch seven
acres sultJiblo for cultivation and 4,000 trees.
It is proixisod to establish a reinilur experi
mental syvtem In order to dotormlno tho liest
varieties of mulberry trees for cultivation on
tlio Puclllo const, and In connection with this
a typical orchard of all varieties. Chicago
Times.
A Curloiu Kind uf Cln),
A iccullar dejioslt which reMinibles clay In
pliability, but which whon Qxpul to the
air IwcomcM ns hard as granite, )ms Ikvii dls
covcrod at tlio Imiso pf Bear mountain, near
Tayloi-ville, N. C. Blocks of It have been
dug out and used for ull tho purpose of ttouo
with success, and it is projsjwil to build
houses of It. Now York Evening World.
t
BerncTs
st-Jtttfi-lTt
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,.TIic nhovo ci.t shows Register opcn.v The book Is prepared with cspccl.il reference to improving the system of recording calls, vistts, etc. It Is complete, simple
comprehensive, nnd as a lnbor saving method of keeping accounts, will nt once commend Itself to every Physician In the land. Your attention Is called to the fact that tho
account against a patient roil an icntikk ykaii Is contained within a space three Inches In width.
This book Is 12x17 Inches i contains too pages; each page divided Into 7 spaces, thus providing for 700 accounts, contains a condensed cash account showing (on one
page) cash receipts from both "regular" and "transient" patients for each day In the year, besides 4 additional ruled pages for memoranda, such as "the address of nurses,
in i g Jin mU" "private consultations," etc., etc. The hook Is alphebctlcally Indexed on linen tabs, substantially bound Russia back and comers, cloth sides, spring
Prices, 700 Account Office Register, $5.00. 1400 Account Office Register, $8.00
BERND'S POCKET REGISTER.
Its
Transferring
2d. One Writing of Patient's name
3d. It enables you to keep the run of your accounts without referring to auxiliary hooks.
.)th. Can he commenced nt nny time during the year.
5th. Tho price Is far below the cost of keeping accounts In the old style, viz: Visiting List, Journal and Ledger this book
combining, ull three.
This cut shows book opeii, with examflt similar to that sfiown above. Cipher code Is embossed In gilt on Inside of cover.
The Register when closed is 4x7 Inches, convenient size to carry In pocket.
The lines of thu short leaf arc adjusted to the long. When the short leaf is turned to the right,, the first half year Is visible.
The Book is Gilt Edged, bound In Black Saul tlexlble with Inside pocket and elastic tablet. Contains condensed cash account,
showing iita glanco Receipts from Regular and Transient Patients for entire year besides eight Memorandum Pages, Pencil and
Holder, nnd Is closed by a Silk Elastic Band. .
Extracts from a Few of the Many Letters Received,
I am gratified to say that for the first time In long years of practice, I am able to keep my accounts'wlthout having to suffer
the drudgery of cumbersome book keeping Dr. II. Tuholske, St. Louis.
.It Is just the thing I wnnt. Dr. G. Swan, Hartford, Connecticut.
The book Is n treasure to any busy Doctor, It saves an amount of tedious work at the end of the month which h particularly
agreeable. Dr. E. A. Chapoton, Detroit, Michigan.
I have lost enough this a. m. to pay for the book,liavlug to make out an account in haste. Dr. Jno. Boardman, Buffalo.N.Y
It Is by far the most complete work of Its kind I have ever met with shall take pleasure In recommending It to my friends
In the profession. Drj S. II. Chester,-Kansas City, Missouri.
I regard It as the only Register In use adapted to the Physician's requirements. Dr. J. T. Kent, St. Lonls, Missouri.
For liie past fifteen years I have used several kinds of Registers, all very, good, but none beginning to compare with that
purchased from jou. Dr. W, C. Barker, Ilutnmellstown, Pennsylvania.
I have found It useful and exceedingly convenient, Dr. Benj. T. Shlinwell, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
I must congratulate you on the Introduction of such a perfect method every member of the profession should extend to
you their appreciation by adopting the same. Dr. Win. Bird, Chester, Pennsylvania.
I would not do without It for fifty dollars a year. L. W. Clark, Rushvllle, Illinois,
PRICES,
fw
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1 U iHT'if ) 1
New Burr Block.
A BOON TO PHYSICIANS.
Physician Office Register
I. , Jf)bl
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Advantages are as Follows :
No Indexing.
for entire year.
300 Account Pocket Register, $3.00.
440 Account Pocket Register, 4.00.
WESSEL
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Western Agents, .
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA.
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SECTIONAL VIEW. SHOWING
AMMieiMCNT Cf ALTERNATE LONG AXQ SHORT LEAVES
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