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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1888)
I DR. L. WENTE DENTIST. Mnkcs the preservation of llio nntiirul teeth n pvcliilty by nil known npproved method, Colli anil porcelain crown h mounted on (lie natural root. All orittloii performed without pnln, aStlsfnclloti guaranteed. TOTIIK l'KOI'I.K OK LINCOLN, NKIIIIAMKA, Wo, tlio undersigned lire jiorsonnlly ac quainted with Dr. u Wonto, who In to leave tn noon nmt engage In tio practice of doutl try In vonr ell v. Wo enn unhesitatingly recommend him us n thorough master ot hi profession, and wo nra Pinti that nil work ontruMod to him will bo skillfully performed. .1. Uniikiuiill, M. 1). W. W. MdMann. M. I). .1. K. MoAiiamh.M. H. M. 1). .1. M. (lALLKIIIHIII, I). I). H. (lAiniNKii, Illinois, .Inn. !W, Ins7. 116 South Eleventh St., Lincoln, Neb. WEBSTEMBRISCOE, Boots and Shoes. . Fine Shoes and Dancing Pumps A SPECIALTY. Prices iih towns reliable llrst-clns goods enn he sold (or, nnd nil honorable cotupc tltlon fairly met. 1043 O Street. FINE ART : STUDIO. 1 314 O street. Gxmnlne sample ordering elsewhere. of our work before Hew Hampshire SPEUOE. Step, Single and Extension LADDERS AT 230-232-234 S. 1 ith st. LINCOLN HARDWARE Co. LINCOLN Philharmonic : Orchestra, A. II ao chow, Musical Director, Oflloe Funks' Opera Q. II. Abcumak, Manager. House, 3d Floor, From Will fum!h tlrontl or Sacred muulo for Co.nckhts, 'Weddings, Pahties, Halls and all other occoslous renulrln); flnt-class music (VDpeclal rate will tw mado with club desiring tha ochestra for tlio soasou, rate furulkliod on application. We also desire to state that we hatra opened a Conservatory ot Muslo .In our apartments In the opera house building, for the Instruction op orchestral Instrument, Tuition hour; t a. in 111 13 noon, and 1 till 4 p. m. every day except 8unday, For scholar not able to attend atregu ar hours, special time will bo given. For further Information as to prices, time, ete address or call on the manager. $350 inMED Given away at Ed. Cerf 's clothing store. (5 7' Prizes 965.O street. SlCm BE RCM THE COURIER A l)iuUir lijtr of Mwlrm Tlrnt. PUMMSIIICD SA'I'UUDAY Huiwiurf mm Oimi Yenr tiy Moll or Cnrrler ,a) Hlx month, 1 1,00, Throo months BO Cent, Ono V ttKiitliVfll'ititsltivni Mil) In Advance. iiVKiiriKKtiitiri: llnlo furnished on application M llio union. Hocll rule m TIiiii' Conlrnot. CoNTiuiumoNio Hhort spicy sketches, xxin, nnd stories solicited, IVrsoiml nnd Kiwlnl nolo nro roclnHy desirable. rniNTlNin Wo mnke a eclnlly of Finn Printing It nil It limnetic, Hoolety work n specially Address ntl iMiinnniilonlloiiH direct to tint office WICHSICL. ok DOI1I11NS, KIIITOnil AMU rilOI'MIKTOH". Cnpllnl Hotel Ml North Klevcnlli Hlroot. Telephone! KdltorlM Itooin BM, Printing, STO. TAKE NOTICEI Tim CnimiKH will not Ih reM)iilhlo for any dob mmlo by any ono In II nnino, un less a written onlor ncooiiiNtnlo Mm sumo, prnn'rly kIkiuhI, of iimrw. Wkhhki. it Doiiiiinh, Prop'r. IkUiN kind of . weather continue much longer, Wnlt Miimiii will lie eoniolleil to buy nu overcoat. Tilt: Omiihn Republican li again under tlio o.lltoiinl control of Mr. O. II. ltuthiickcr,wiio Is making It column lively" once more. Kiikmdnt Wtnhnvo 11 cnuuluK fnotory to iMttlmlarpt In the Htnto. HuMIiikh Is to Imvonnnllior nillrond. Twownyn of Imxiiii IiiK n ton n. An oxohnuKo pi lnb 11 pretty ikx-iii cntltlod Whliky lit tin IMiico," 'J'ho dlllloully with iiiiidt mcit Uthnt thoy can't llnd tlio pnxr plnro for It, - Al.l, of thoilltorM who wuroiirwiit itttho Ntnto convention Inst week nru loud In their prnlwi of tlio IIIm'ImI and courtooun tuitiumr in which they were tivntod by cltlroiw ami iiowhimpor men of I.luoilu. U'ah U unco more Imminent. In Kurox), If wonro toMlevo tlio vcrneloiiN convxxind ents. Tho mouth haH nearly Kllpixnl by, but It would Imvo Ikh'Ii 11 noteworthy ono had not tho lioVMpaer Htarted nuother Kui'0xtu wnf. Oim ovenlii conteiuiMirnry wiysit w ill take but it day or two to make tho neoovyvry con nectlonx at the city well, when tho weather U Ktilttbto. Any lutultnry ongliui'r, hcxldcx tho city vukIuis'I', could Inform tho Democrat that It will tnko at least it week. Thk bllxntrd of latt week was far-reaching and moHt dtMtdly, clalmlnj,' htiuitrtsls ns ltd victims. TluiCouiiiKliluiMitevor taken lunch stock In tho Hignal kervlco hj htein, nod If It ever had it chmico to show Hh elllolenoy lust wtvk was tho time. Many lived and thoiihniuU of dollar worth of stock could have lieeit saved had timely wnruliig been given. W bomoot thco rich old capitalists who plucked other peoplo nnd stinted thvinsolvoH tho greater pnrt oi 'their liven, mid on dying bequeathed thousands to chitrltttblo liwtltu tloit a n Mi t of moral rjiI to, had llvul bet ter livcH, acUsl huumtiuly toward their fellow mon whllo in life, it would have been n great doitl better for themsolves iih well an for tho world gciiernlly. Onk of tho prettiest tKimphtat wo Imvo yot seen Is " Sylvan Heoite In Winter-Hummer lunula" along tho lino of tho Miyonrl Pacllle, for copies of which tlio couniKU Is under obligation to Mr. II. 0. Iliinnit, city ticket agent, Tho cover 1 it marvel of U'liuty, whllo the lllustrntlons nre siiHrb, vluw bo Ing given of tho Alamo, Ban Joso mission, Mexican cathedral, Halt Antonio, ami many other Texas seenes. TllK Nebnifikn delegation In congress don't propoM) to allow tho country to fret Itsolf over tho Huri'hiMand hnvo introduced 11 half dozen or more bills for tho location of gov ernment buildings nt various olut through out tho state. It U it mere waste of money to put costly building in tho various small towns of tho state, where they can only Ih) used a jHwtofllevs. lWtter invest tho money In adding to tho working forces of tho iKut olllce and tho railway malt service. Chahlks Dickunh, thoson of tho great novelist, who ha been giving reading in sev eral American cities, is going buck to Eng land, disgusted. Not one of his entertain ments wild oxponses, and tho dishcarted mail ascribe it to American resentment against hi father's malicious characterizations In "Martin Chuzzlewlt." That is nonsense. No resentment is held by any one, and although tho eldnr Dickens evinced little lovo for this country. Had the son ns much ability as tho' father ho would have been bettor received too many people try the trick of traveling 011 their name. Th-t Rock Island company is one of tho most extenslvo advertiser in thocountry, nnd its various publications from tlmo to tlmo are read with much interest. The Couuikh ha just received tho fourth of its series of jiopu lar volume, entitled "Coal nnd Coke," In it nro presented tho most important fact concerning coal, it origin, its distribution, tho methods of mining it, preparing it for and trans)ortiiig it to market, otc. Tho book is Intended for tho ertisal especially ot the boys and girls, and a such is clothed in tho simple yet graceful tyle and phraseology of tlutt wonderful writer, "A Man". The book Is elegantly Illustrated nnd should be read by all. Klkhorn Vnlley Line 1'Hxoenger Trnlu Sor ylce. The Chicago flyer is train No. 44, leaving nt 13:03 noon. It carries a through paluou steelier Uncoln to Chicago, and a dining car irom Missouri Valley uud readies Its destina tion at 8 o'clock the following morning. This train makes connection nt Fremont for Nor folk and Omaha: at Missouri Vally for Sioux City and Bt. Paul. Train No. 43 leave Uncoln at 0:55 a. in. for Wahoo, Fremont, Norfolk, Cliadron, the UlackHUlscountry, York, BownrJ, and Hasting. Itr'alifiKl nt PanilrlnRlmm. Tim IVIuccw of Wnlo prefer light colored dn" , even In whiten her cnchemlro nnd for 1 1 imi trimmed with fur, hut they nro of m.ue soft niy or brown tint, oven In Dc remUir U'hllont Knudrlughniii alio come dow 1 in hivakfiifttntit rcAMonnhlo hour nnd dlxpe i nt tho ten horself she I said to prefer thm Imventgo to coirixi oven in tho mornings out of 11 hnmtsomoly clnwsl ton sitvIco. The china, which li of t)io choicest, I nil In korilxsl with tho holr npimrcnt'M motto, "Icli Dlni," nnd tho tnblo i itlwny gay with Mow em, Tho prlnro gcnenilly put In niinpcnr.tncxi nt this rt'imst, which I 11 moro Niimptiious ono than his mother' matutinal meal game, ham, MitoM, plover' egg nnd plenty of substantial gxl things covering tlio well spread tnblo, Tho wholo ntrty niwmblc nf tor ward lit tho long saloon. This room tho Mimo in which tho birthday nnd other bnlUitro held Is full ot family Hirtrnlt, tho prliiconud prlncoHH, tholr children, lit Hootch costume, tho king nnd ipieen of l)enmnrk, etc Two thing in this unloou nro nlso suro to attract tho attention ot nil thosowho enter it for tho first tlmo a lingo Ijenr, killed by tho prince, nnd stuircd in so lifelike li manner a to glvn to tho bolioliler ipilto a start, nonr tho door, nud n mngiiKlceut jnsper vase, it present from tho czar to his fnvoi'itoslntcr lndaw. llrenkfust over, tho priuco lictakos himself to his library, where lit ms.-retnry as sist him to dlsiKMo of a voluminous corro K)iidonco, whllo hlsvflfo mid dunghters, if tho morning 1m flno, nro nlmoNtstiro to mnko it tour ot liiKxrtlon round tho farm. This Is tho princess' divnxnt ludiby; nil tho building Imvo lsxn nrmngod according to her oxprcss direction, nnd tho Inner wnlls nro covered with jmlnt lugs nnd sketches, mnny of them from tho brush of tho duchess of Miincics tcr, of country llfo In Douiniirk nnd Kng land. Ionilon Bociuty. Ijtlest I'uililoii In lings' Cliitties. Dog hnvo their day in Pari hh well n nttloiutl animals, and tho ingenious de visers of now fashions for tho "dude" nnd tho dombmouilo, nro nlso busy In designing collar olid coverlets for tho lucky spaniels and pug that lwipx'ii to bo "In tho move ment," its they say lioro. Tho newest tilings fordomestlo jK-tsof tho caulno category are Bourls collnr nnd Capuchin coverlet. Tho Bottris 1 composed of n rod or bluo velvet bracelet, on which flvo mlconro repitvontcd In honor of tho flvo femalo character in M. Pnllleron'H lutost comedy. Tho Capuchin coverlet, or, ns it i nlso called, Couverturo Article Kept (tho famous clause which under tho Kerry regime oxx)llcd tho monks And nuns), Is coiniHbcd of soft, w hlto, downy cloth Willi it pointed moiiastlu luxxl, Inn-tlcred with red rlliUin. To completo tho monnstlo Illusion, it w Into cord, similar to that which engirdle tho burly, or, ns It may Iw, tho osceiic, forms of Capuchin monk is deli cately thrown around tho august iot. There nro iiImi Constitutlouuel coverlets of gutta poivhn with Tobcn ixjlorlnoH, which help to lirotis:t cum of high degree front climatic Inclemencies. People who do not hapiKiit to enre for dogs it household ict3 will bo apt to ridicule these Inventions of fashion for tho fond mistresses of canine favorites; hut tho great Parisian lady who Inhabits 11 mansion In tho aristo cratic faubourg, no less than tho Ixsllzed den Irou of the demhmoudo who dwells in nn entresol of the dingy Qunrtlcr Ilrodn, ro gaiils them lit tho light ot serious 111M int jiortaut ui.wvsorles for tho comfort and tho embellishment ot their hairy ots. llcnco tho Bouris collars and thoCnpuclilit coverlets will command it steady snlo during tho win ter season, nnd their inventor will hnvo ample reason to commend themseivos for their Ingenuity in giving now names nnd cuts to old imtterus for jwt pups. Paris Cor. Lon don Telegraph, Secret Cum (or Itublis. Dog bitten men, women nnd children to the iiiiiulier of WX) have ixsjn tivattsl for hy drophobia by tho llouvo family, of llloomlng dale, In New Jersey Over forty ear ngo David 11. llisjvo said he had obtuiuixl it secret euro for hydrophobia. People were slow to place much credit lit his statement until his own son was bitten, and tho father trusted to his now remedy to cure him. The number of his patients increased nud his fumo spread abroud. Over 600 xttleiits havo been cured. He has had tho secret for six year. The mcdlclno given is it kind of yel low powder, und Hoove stipulates that for a period f three weeks no grease, jK-pixir or salt shall lie eaten, nothing cold drank, nnd tho patient' diet shall bo limited to butter milk, gruel, bread and molasses, with a drink of warm, weak ten; all liquor to be avoided. Chicago Herald. Climbing to Ilutivun. Ono day ft demented nogro boy, about 13 years of ago, wandered away from his homo in tho country ami reached Kosciusko. Tho Methodist steeple now being finished, 120 foot In height, tint excited his wonder ami ho mado n boo lino for it. When first seen by tho workmen ho had climbed upward on tho steeple to ft dlszy height, near 100 feet from tho earth, with a bucket 011 his arm. Tho men below yelled to him to come down, nts answer: "I'm gwino to hoaveu nnd Wrry God 6ome butter," somowhnt surprised, them. An Irishman, with commotidable presence of mind, hallooed to him that ho had gon up wrong, "como down and go up tho other sldo," which advlco brought tho would-bo angel to solid earth, whoro ho was kept. Kosciusko (Miss.) Messenger. A "lllril Protection" Swindle. An energetic yoflng widow hits been swin dling tho people of several Malno towns lately with a bird protection scheme. Some of tho richest and most influential citizens of Lewis ton not only signed her papers promising to uso their influence to protect song birds, but also entertained her at tholr homes, and gavo her inouoy to help carry on tho work. Bud denly the pretty widow was called away by a telegram announcing tho death ot her brother, and a fow days afterward a man appeared with $1,000 worth of promlsory notes, which it apixxirod thoso citizens had signed w hen they thought thoy wcro pledging themselves not to kill tlio pretty birds. Chicago Times. Steam snow Shovel. Tho Northern Pnclflo will this year put into oso four now rotary steam snow shovols. Tho apparatus somowhnt resembles a box car, containing n stationary cnglno, .which works tho shovel. On the front ot tho car is tho rotary shovel, which gathers up tho snow, and it can be run ns fiut us 300 revolutions per minute. The mow jmisscs back and is oxpollcd from it sjiout on top of thocar,bolng thrown lur to one smo. 1110 apjiaratus is pushed by n locomotive, and can go through n snow drift six or seven foot deep at tho ntto of fifteen or twenty miles on hour. Chicago Herald. 11 1 g Stick of Lumber. A colossal stick of lumber from Puget sound lias been contributed to tho Mechanics' exhibition at Ban Francisco, it length Is 151 feet, nnd it is twenty by twenty luches through. It is bellovod to bo tho longest piece of lumber ever turned out of any saw mill. CbJfiug.t Herald, 8TOniE8 ABOUT MEN. It Cost Tlltnii no O11I to Ilenr III Own '.return. Theodoro Tllton wns nliout to lecture nt it well known hall in Mnluc, Ho arrived at tho door unnttended, nod Inquired for tho ninunger Ho wn lufoniuxl that ho win within, but could not bo disturlicd, n tho lecture wn nlxnit to commence. "Can I go In nnd sjx'ak to him!" ho humbly asked of tho highly luiMrtnut ticket Inker. "Yes, If you Imvo got half n dollar," Tllton produced tho coin and passed into lb hall to listen to his own lecture. Ho en J"cd the Joko nnicli, nnd snld It was n good lecture nnd well worth tho price of ndmhv slon. Fnlrileld Journal. (Irani' Sorrel War Horse. "Tho first tlmo I saw Gon. Grant to know htm," said Mnj. Ostium to a knot of story tollers, tho other day, "was In tho November of 1801. I was then attached to Hancock's honihpinrters, and was sent to carry it dis patch to (len. Urmit. It was raining for all it was worth, nud tho mud nlsjut thoso Petersburg trenches was llko glue. Putting my horse to it gallop, I was getting over th ground at a gixxl rate, nnd soon I met and passed a solitary rider astride a little sorrel horse. Tho man's slouch hat was pullod down over his eyes, and tho rnlti was cours ing in streams down on tho jxmcho lit which he was closely wrapxsl. A moment later I came up with ipiite a group of riders, and calohlng sight ot a lot of gold braid, jumped nt tho conclusion that I hud struck some Kcnornl'R stult I naked if t'hoy know whero Gen. Oranb was, and ono ot them sold: "Why, Ixiy, you'vo Just jwissed him.'' "Without it word I wheeled my horso and dashed back to tho solitary figure ahead. As I enmo up ho seemed to tuko in tho situation, for he said sharply! " 'Who nro you looking for, young mnnr " 'Are you Gen. Gruntf I naked eagerly. " 'My nnino' Grunt,' ho said stlllly, hold ing out hi hand for my dispatch. Then ho said: " 'Why didn't you como to mo at oncer " 'I- P '"Well, what?' " 'I didn't think you were Oeu. Grunt.' " 'You ilfdii'tf Why didn't youl' "I saw his oyos tw Inkle nbovo his cigar, that must have, gone out three or four weeks before, it looked so bad. Bo I ventured to tell tho fact: " 'llocuuso I didn't suppose Ocn. Grant would lido such a looking horse us that.' J "Ho burst out into it hearty laugh, nnd I Gen. lladeau told me afterward that it was , tho first time for 11 week ho had heard Grant 1 lnugli. Thii general receipted on tlio euvelopo J for tho dlsiNitch and dismissed 1110, saying: I " 'Tho next tlmo you nro sent to Gen. Grant , perhaps you will know hint.' I "Uut after that I took my dispatches to tho 1 chief of ftair." Dotroit Journal. A Joke 1111 llurlelgli. A storj Is told in tho corridors of tho Dclavan which Is "on" Hon. Henry G. Dur lelgh, of Whitehall. He was suited on it sofa not long ngo talking with 1 tall road Commis sioner linker, when 11 well dressed young man stopiR'd up to the telegraph desk mid begun writing it disixttch. "Seo here, llurlelgli," remarked Mr. Dakcr, suddenly, "I want to make it little bet with yotL" Tho surrounding iioliticlans pricked up their ears. "What iilwutr asked tho Whitehall wizard, curiously. "About a sure thing, of courso," was tho reply. "Do you see that young man at tho telegraph desk nud tho nice soul skin gloves beside hluii I want to bet you that ho walks Oft when ho has tlulshed his business and for gets to take those gloves." "NoiKonso," was tho sago rejoinder. "Ho wouldn't forgot anything so vuluablo." After a few minute chnfllng tho bet was mado nud the surrounding group drew neiuvr to wntch tho result. Mr. llurlelgli looked skeptical and Mr. linker contented. Finally tho stranger buttoned his coat and turned to go, but ho loft the gloves. "Hold on," shouted Mr. Burleigh nftcr tho retreating stranger, "you havo forgot ten" "Sit down, Burleigh," said Mr. Baker calmly, "sit down. Thoso nro my gloves." Then the watching multltudo smiled n moist, odorous smile, nud tho bet was paid. Albany Kx press. "Wlmr lint Venl?" Sonntor Lamar is reported as telling tho following story of his cxporiciicont a political meeting in his own Btnto soon utter tho war. lie was 0110 of the speakers, and alluding to .the civil war, suggested as it parallel cuse tho pnrablo of tho Prodigal Son and tho joyful reception at his homo when tho naughty boy returned. Ho was succeeded by a negro, a Republican, who, after some general remarks, paid his resiK.ct to Lamar's immllol. "For glbenl" said he, "Doy forgiben dem brlga dicrsl Why, doy'so como walkln' into do house nit' bang do do' an' go up to do ol' mnu nn'eay: 'Whnrdat vealf"' Now York Sua. Lincoln, Ciillom nnd u Darkey. Senator Cullom tells rt story about a negro porter at Wlllard's hotel in Washington who was nlwnys obsequious in his nttcntlons to him. One day the dnrkoy looked up nt him and said: "Boss, you look iow'ful llko Marso Abo Lincoln. Didn't you nobbor hnb nobody tell you dnti" "Yes," replied tlio senator, "I havo been told that; but you know thoy say Mr. Lincoln was tho homeliest man in tho country." "Yes, I knows dat, but you do 'somblo him most almighty much." Detroit Journal. A Dog Who Woro Spectacles. An Optician I was told somo tlmo ngo ths following reinnrknblo story of a Kentucky dog that had lwcomo almost totally blind. The sound of tho horn no longer aroused Sis blood, and whllo tho other dogs of tho houso went forth eagerly to the hunt, tho old afflicted nulmal remained behind, sad and discouraged. While nt play ono day somo children, who know tho poor bmto's infirmity, placed upon his noso 11 ialr of common spoctaclcs, tho glasses of which happened to bo very strong. Tho dog at once nwoko from his stupor and showed his pleasure in unraistaknblo signs, Tho glasses were thereupon adjusted in tho best possiblo manner so as to remain on tho rejuvenated animal's noso. Tho next morning he started off to the hunt with tho other dogs, and soon it was ho who led tho jwtck. But unfortunately his spectacle. bruthod up against it bush and wcro torn from their resting place, Tho old dog allowed tho others to jutss him, and then picking up the glasses he carried thorn to Ills master to hnvo thorn readjusted. Tho dog Is now a confirmed spoctuclo wearer, so much so that whou any one at tempts to removo his goggles ho becomes very savage. Jeweler's Weekly, IVnr 11 Itoliipsc. Doctor Did you say to your husband, Mrs. nondiicks, that, if agreeable to him, I would send bill for service rendered during his re cent severe Illness! Mrs. Hendricks Yes, doctor; and ho thought you had bettor wait until he gets a little sM oiiS'.". Llfo. DEACON DURDETTE3 PHILOSOPHY. IT VfAH A COLD DAY. Great surpriso Is caused by tho announce ment that last month it man was frozen to death nonr Austin, Tex. It Isn't tho fnctof tho cold wealher that create tho surpriso, but rather that tho mnu should have tlmo to f reczo to death before ho got shot, THAT WAS BOI.VKD IJNO AOO. Mr. Tnllnforo,of Atlanta, (In., claim that ho has solved tho problem of xjretual motion. Ho, ho; tho conceit of Homo men. As though ho was tho only man in America with a 10.yenr-old lioy. COVINO CLOHKll TO HUMANITY. This must lie tho missing link. A gont in Berlin has rod whiskers. Now let tho scien tists observo closely to see what elTcct ho has upon tho whlto horso, and evolution may strido nhend, not quite n century, perhaps, but ns much a lit teen minutes. FABT AND BLOW. All tho trains in the west hnvo fast names nnd slow wires. Possibly this make tho telegraph seom slower than it really Is. And do you know It Is much harder to wait for a fast train than It is torn slow ono. It is irri tating to waste one's llfo nt 11 station and hear an impatient freight conductor extract Information from tho station agent. "How' tho Cnimon Balll" 1 "Four hour late." "How's tho Flyer r "Three hours lato out of Denver." "How's tho Thundorboltr" "Abandoned." """ "How'3 tho Bleeping Crabl" "She's running on tho Incandescent Thun derbolt' tlmo today; wont by without stop ping, tws hours ngo." IlltBUMATtO LIOIIT.VINO. I11 all thp great, throbbing, pulsing, grow ing, booming west there is ono slow thing lightning. My experience with tho telegraph linos was slow, and, to 1110, very oxjienslva About 4 o'clock ono day, at Toimkn, I con fldod to tho Santa Fo, Colorow and Solar System Toiogruph company a telegram to Chicago, one to Parsons, Ivan., uud ono to tho Coatcs house, slxty-slx miles away, toll ing tho landlord to havo my rooms ready at 0:15. The telegram reached tho Coatcs after I had eaten and digested my supiier nud had gono to Ixxl. . The othor ono reached Chicago somo tlmo that samo night, and I don't know what iMJcnmo of tho ono to Parsons. And several other times I tried tho telegraph, but only to be convinced that I could hnvo tho message delivered n fow hour earlier by sticking n social deliverstamp 011 it and taking it along with mo, IT WAH VOLAfOK TO TllK NATIVE. "That foreman of yours is a queer fellow," said Mr. IVnwlcr. "Yes," replied tho man ufacturer, "but ho Is very bright nnd intelli gent. Ho Is it nntlvo, however; was bora hero In North Carolina forty-six years ago, and has nover liecn outsldo of the state. Why do you BHMik of him!" "Why, I gavo him a little volume ot North Carolina sketches, written by n tnlonted young friend of mlno, in tho genuine turheel dialect, and he has just brought it back to me, siylug that ho can't understand a word of it," And ns 81 lonco entered tho room with her finger on her lips, a long lost grammar in the bookcaso could be distinctly heard, parting Its speech In the middle. AN EXTllAVAOANZA. Publisher (on tho coldest, windiest corner In all the city) Please, sir, can't you glvo mo it llttlo chnngo for a night's lodging! I hain't had anything to cat all day, Author (bursting In tears nnd emptying it handful of gold Into tho outstretched pnlmj God bless you, poor maul Hero, go to tho best hotel In town and board there nil winter. P. 8. This Is not funny as it stands, but smiles of MomusI How funny it would bo If it were tntnl Hurdetto lu Brooklyn Haglo. I Vfl C-UI., An Amplo Apology, Whon a Capo Dutchman undertakes to admit Hint ho was in tho wrong ho docs lb thoroughly. Hero Is it really amplo apology translated from Dl Afrlkunnso, a patriot Transvaal nowspaper: "Tho undersigned, A. C. Du Plessls, re tract hereby everything I have said against tho innocent Mr. O. P. Bczuldcnhout, calling myself an infamous liar nnd striking my mouth with tho exclamation: 'You menda cious mouth I why do you Ho sof I declare further that I know nothing against tho character of Mr. G. P. Bczuldcnhout. I call myself liesldes a genuine liar of tho first class. "A. C. Du Plessis." witnesses: J. Du Plessis, J. C. Holmes. European Cor. Now York Sun. Corrlgnu' Mistake. Exclmngo Editor Hero is an interviow in a Chicago paper w.th Corrlgnu, tho man who knocked down that Kansas City editor. Editor iu Chief Eh! What does ho say! "Ho says ho called at tho ofllco and tho editor wanted to shoot him, and ho (Corrl gan) acted only in self defense," "Weill welll Corrlgan hml no business to Infurlnto an editor by calling at tho olllco. Why didn't ho send his poem by malll" Omaha World. Doom Talk. Winter Visitor in Lower California (hold ing on to n trco and dodging fragments of barns nnd other personal property whizzing past) You nover lutvo hurricauesor cyclones hero, I understand. Is this the regular thing in tho zephyr lino! Resident (clinging with despcrato energy to 0, grapevine) Tho mildness of our cli mate, combined with tho unsurpassed fertil ity of soil nud the amazing abundance of our luscious tropical fruit, our entire freedom from destructive storms and tho uuoxamplod cheapness of our lands look out for that fly ing horso trough! tho success that uny man with n fow hundred dollars can attain in vinoynrd planting, hop raising or hold on, can't youl Don't bo in n hurry I With three acres of land hero and a cow (regretfully) there ho goes, sixty miles an hour, toward Santa Barbara I It ho had stuck 011 two min utes longer I could havo convinced him, blast his prejudiced lildo I Chicago Tribune lit for tho C.odi. Young Man (to waiter) Walter, I want somo roast turkoy. Glvo mo the outsldo slioo ofT tho breast, n nice, largo piece of tho llvor, and, as I nm hungry, you might bring mo both second joints. Walter Yes, sir; nnythln' else. Young Man (contemplatively) Yes, thero is something more I intended to onlor. Lot me seo Walter I guess it must be tho earth. IIow'll you havo it cooked! Now York Sun. Solid MenU for uu Oitrlch. Al Glvo mo 5 worth of assorted hard- ware. Ed What do you mean! Al That's nil right; my wife hits it pot os trich. Tho bird must ent. Tid Bits. Culturo lit the "Museum. Mrs. N. My dear, I wish you to observo this iKwitiful statuo of Apollo; nud this (pointing to Psyche) is his wife, Apolllnnris. Life. Nt, 1'itill lee I'ltlitre, i. inn. Tho St, Paul Ice Palace and Winter Cnrnl val ojieiis .Inn. 25th nnd continues ten dnys. Tim almvo figure represent tho ninouut to bo charged for the round trip vln. tho Elkbont Valley Line. Tho "Bloux City Route." For full particulars Inquire nt their ofllco, 1 15 Bo. 10th Bt. Ticket will 1k sold from the 24th inst. to February 1st, good returning until Fcbru nry 6th. A IIOMK On tho enslost JKisslble terms. I will sell ot nny resxxtnblo party n lot in NEARBY AD DlTION.wIth three-room cottngofor$500,ui 011 cash payment of (60 nud flO monthly Ixit with four-room cottngo nt f (XX),uixjn cash payment of $fi(( nnd 111) monthly. Lot with II vo-rooiu house 1 700, cash payment of 75 and 15 monthly. Intel est on above at tight po cent. ior annum. In this way you can maker the rent pay for the house nnd lot. For In stnnco, tnko lot und three-room cottnge, with ordinary rents for $10 per month or 120 wr year. Interest on f 500 amounts to 40 por year. You thereby gnln 80 every yenr or enough to pay olT thocntlredehtln live yenr. You wlllln this way get to own a homo by simply paying rent. I will also sell a lot In Nearby Addition for 160, on monthly pay ment of 5 each until paid, nt eight per cent. Interest. Apply nt Ed. Cerf clothing store, (KiTiOsrevUt Isaac Cahn. Tii l'enple Willi lllllerlltlll. Society jKxiplo arranging for parties, Iwills k weddings, receptions or anything hi this lino, should insoet our elegant lino of stationery nud printed novelties used on such occasions. Wo hnvo Just received our new fall line of elegant bnll programs, Invitations for wed dings, imrtles, etc., announcements, foldern, calling cards anil In fact everything In this line. Stunn Cheap rruieriy, A line residence lot on Twenty-first street nonr N for sale nt a 1 insonnble pi ice. Also ono in Mechanics addition, Hyde Park nud Elmwood.Wlll sell cheap It sold liimudlntely Cull on or address L. Wcssol, Jr., care this ofllco. New Sewing Machine Tor Sale. I hnvo 11 first class now sew Ing machine never been ustsl, of the latest Invention nud with all tho modern appliances that will bo sold nt a big bargain. Address Jo-Jo, euro this olllco. Iliiom IIioTiiwii. Leave 11 paper w rapjier w ith a threo cent stamp on with II. G. Hiimui, city ticketngeut. of tho Missouri Pacific railway, und hnvo it "Lincoln Illustrated" mulled to youi friend cast, free of charge. Through slcciMjr to Chicago are run nud nil enstern connections made by tho Elkhorii Valley and Chicago and Northwestern tail road. Try this elognnt route. Offices, 115 Sotith Tenth streets nnd doiot, comer B nnd Eighth street. . Chicago & Northwestern mllenge tickets sold to nnyono nt Elkhorn olllco, 115 Booth Tenth street nnd depot corner 8 nnd Eighth streets. McMurtry's addition on K street, below Nineteenth, Is ono of tho slghlicst in tho city, us well ns being rlgnt hi tho centre of tho fastest growing portion. Call at his olllce bo low tho Capital National Bank nnd secure ono of tho lot. Only via tho Missouri Pacific railroad can you get free reclining chnlr enrs through to Atchison, Kansas City, Chicago, St. Louis, Terro Hnute nud IudInmiM)lis. Lincoln Hack anil lliiggugo Line. Telephone No. 201, meat market, ltr,7 O street, or No. i!01 livery bam. Order slntes nt snmo places and V. P. ticket oflice, corner Eleventh nud O streets. Hack stands, Capi tal hotel nnd moat market. Boiianon Bros. Olllco I'urnltiirn Tor Sule. All Improved double olllce desk, two finer o dining desk chairs, two other enno sent olllco chairs, etc., for salo at a bargain. Only Ik'oii in use four months. Giodusncw. In qulro nt this olllce, 131 North Eleventh St. To the Traveling 1'iitillc. Plonso note that it suicrh lino of FREE CHAIR CARS Is now run between Lincoln and Chicago on trains Nos. 5 nnd No. (1; also that sleeping car berths or drawing rooms on tho "llyors," Nos. 1 and 2 limy Ixj resorvod In ndvnneo at City Ticket Olllce, cornor Tenth nnd O Streets. A. C. Zihmkh, City Passenger Agent. I Mako your husband hnppy by presenting him with 11 fine smoking sett or 11 box of lui- .ortod cigars. Ed Young, 1020 O street, keeps tho finest line in the city. Sign of tho lied Dude. WONDERFUL SUCCESS. KcoNonir is wisAirii. All tho l'.VITL'UNS you wl.li to w-o Surln? tho yenr. fur nothing, vu suvlug of from $.1.00 to I.U'J, by iibi-crlblni; fur THE CAPITOL CITY COURIER A NO )e mo rest's it.j Tfwi.nr Tyiagag i n e With Twelve Orders for Cxi Paper Pattern! of your own selection and of any ilze. BOTH PUBLICATIONS, ONE YEAR ros $3.25 (THREE TWENTY-FIVE). D EMOREST'S THE BES ft Of tvll tlo MnprnxlncH. . Containing Stome, Posms, anii otiikii I.rmunY ATTIIACTIONH, CIIM1UNINO AUTISTIC, SCIKN Tine, AND lloUSKIlOLD MATTEIIS. Jlliftrntril with Original filerl .'iifrau tnin, VlintniirnvurtK, Oil i'lclurm iimt flue H'oouYuM, malilnt it the Model JTnaa. sine of vlmcWrn. Urli Muirazlno contains u coupon order entitling Ins holder ti) tliu selection of any pnttrrn Illustrated m tho fnxliloa department tn taut number, nnd lu ivy of tit tlzv manufactured, making patterns lirlns tlio ye.'ir of tlio value, of over three dollars. IIKUOHKiT'.H MONTHLY Is juirtly entitled llio IVorld'a Model Magazine. Tuo Largest In Form, tho I.T-gen In Circulation, and tlio test TWO Dollar I'liinlly Miigazlno IsmhsI. IKsfl will ho tlio Twrnlr 1 uinh yi'iir nf lu piilillcstlou, and It stands nt tho tr d of family l'erlodlcnls. It contains TV! pages, iiimo quarto, BVxlIM Inches, elegantly printed und fully Illustrated. 1'ubllalied by V. Jennings Uoiiiorctt, Nuw York And by Spociul Atfrcumeiit Com- blnctl with tho Capitol City Courier at $3.25 Per Year. Jf. O. MoBRpE, Real Estate Broker, Room 4, Richards Block. Form Loans t, specialty, CorreapoaiUuos llcitedv r r .,